The Conversion Bureau: Cherry Sandwiches

by Da Bunnana King

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character
Length: 2154

Don't let Pinkie near anything that is Rule 63 related

Pinkie decides one day to make a cherrychonga, but being out of tortilla and most of the ingredients she settles on making a cherry sandwich with a special sauce that the Doctor has down at the Bureau.
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I had nothing to do with this even thought I wrote it... enjoy. Oh and Wasteland Gunner did the cover art again.
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It also might help if you read The Conversion Bureau: The Land Downunder.

Published 2012-04-13 09:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-13 09:24:02 UTC

Cherry Sandwiches

The Conversion Bureau: Cherry Sandwich

By Da Bunnana King & Aegis

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She stuck her head in the cupboard in search of one ingredient, the ingredient in general was a small red ball with a green stem.

“Where are they?” she questioned, the empty cupboard which contained everything but the special ingredient.

“Pinkie, what are you looking for?” asked Green Salad, who was tossing a salad with his magic.

“The cherries silly filly. You know for my cherrychonga.” she replied, happily bounding around the kitchen looking through another cupboard.

“Pinkie I’m not a filly and check that cupboard over there since that is where most of the fruit is.” he said pointing to a cupboard marked with fruit in Equestrian.

“Okie dokie loki!” she said, bouncing over and rummaging her pink cotton candy head and mane knocking over piles of apples, bananas and oranges, “No, there aren’t any cherries in here.”

“Strange... well maybe the doctor took them since I have seen him eating a small pile of them in his office.”

“Well I guess I’ll head over there and ask him for some.” she said, bouncing out of the kitchen and out of the lunchroom past a blood stained boy sitting in a chair filling out one of the forms.

“Doctor! Are you here?” She yelled poking her head through the frame looking for the doctor.

Nothing, so being Pinkie she began to investigate the room looking through the doctors drawers, cupboards and his desk. She came upon a small cupboard set amidst some bottles of grape soda the doctor had, but at the very back she could see a red glowing bottle. So she grabbed it ever so carefully making sure not to disturb the other bottle and trotted back to the kitchen.

“I’mh bamhk!” she said, struggling to keep the bottle in her mouth as she trotted back to here sandwiches.

“Thats good, but who are all those sandwiches for?” asked Green, who was getting ready for the lunchroom rush of ten people and six ponies.

“You, Doctor Spaceman, those newfoals and soon to be newfoal, that strange newcomer and Bruce.” she said, spreading a thick layer of the cherry sauce over the bread with a butter knife.

“What strange newcomer?”

“Yeah there was a boy in the entrance filling out one of the forms, but he must of been in a battle or something since he is bleeding from his haunches.”

“I think their called shoulders Pinkie and I hope he is okay.”

“He looked fine that and the doctor must of fixed him up since he didn’t look like that he was pain.”

“Well okay, so I guess you found the cherries then?” he asked, while trotting over to the cupboard that had fruit scattered all inside of it, “Did you do this?”

“Yes and yes again but it’s I think its a sauce though because it was in a jar.” she said eagerly nodding her head finishing putting the slice of bread on the last sandwich, “Here’s your!”

“Thank you Pinkie but I might have to eat it later because I have customers.” he said, levitating the sandwich next to him and talking to the small group of newfoals and the two humans accompanying them,

“So gentlecolts what will it be...?” he said before being cut off by the hyper-cotton candy colored pony.

“There you sillies are,” she said bouncing over to them with the tray of sandwiches on her back, “I made you Pinkie Pie's Cherry Spectacular Sandwich!”

“Thanks Pinkie but what’s the occasion for?” said, the chrome colored pegasus.

“I just felt today was a good day for PPCSS and you get one too!” she said pushing a sandwich in the stunned boy’s face.

“Okay thanks Pinkie.” he said, hesitantly taking it. They continued to order their salads as Pinkie continued out again in search for Bruce and the Doctor.

She happily bounced to the security room humming an upbeat tune that was insync of her bounces.

“Brucie-wucie I have a sandwich for you-cie!” She happily called out, bouncing into his room with the sandwich on her head.

“A sanga! Thanks Pinkie you’re the best.” he said, grabbing the sandwich of her head and devouring it whole.

“You’re welcome! See you around.” She said, bouncing out to find the Doctor but she also heard a thud coming from Bruce’s office, but she paid no attention to it.

“Doctor Spaceman! Come in Doctor Spaceman, this is the Pinkie. Over, shsksc.” She said, imitating an astronaut technician with the last sandwich on her pink mane.

“Ah Pinkie! I thought that would be you, so what do you have here for me?” he asked, picking up the sandwich from her mane.

“Pinkie Pie's Cherry Spectacular Sandwich silly filly!” she giggled.

“Pinkie I am a human male not a filly... and I am not that silly.”

“Well you are silly sometimes Doctor Spaceman.”

“That I am but that’s why we’re the bestest of friends Pinkie, now I have some stuff to clean up here so why don’t you trot along now?” he said, ruffling her mane.

“Okie dokie lokie!” she said the final time before she left the room where she heard another thud.

“Strange... there must be some rats in the ceiling... oh well!” she said trotting back to the lunchroom humming, only to be met with several new mares and a very confused and angry Star Dancer.

-20 minutes earlier-
-Alex’s PoV-

“So you say that there were three of them and you took them out with that busted L96?” asked Jude, was eyeing the sandwich.

“Well it was two of them and that rifle has gotten me through thick and thin.” I said, taking a large lettuce leaf and eating it slowly enjoying the fresh and crisp flavor.

“So is that when you got shot?” Asked Martin, eating the sandwich whole before looking drowsy.

“So how does the whole conversion work?” I asked, while devouring the sandwich.

“Oh you just goooooo...” said Louis, as the world slowed around me to a holt.

“The buck...? What’s in this sandwiiiii...” Was all I was able to say, as the cherry flavor overpowered my senses. It wasn’t even a nice taste of cherry but the bad synthetic one that the nanomachines made, the world also began to grow dark around me and panic filled my system, but it was too late since everything went black.

Blackness is all I saw, it engulfed me like the ocean that my country was surrounded in. I looked for any landmark but saw none... I was alone in an endless void.

“Hello!” I called out, only for my voice was changing along with the world around me. It began to take shape, large marble columns began to rise along with its marble and granite floor with a large red carpet down the middle leading to two thrones. There were stained glass windows depicting a history... a history of ponies but one in particular mystified me. It had six different coloured ponies but there were two of each race but they were all working in harmony to defeat an evil demon that threatened the land.

“I see one of my little ponies is admiring the artwork,” said a, regal sounding mare.

I turned around only to see the regent of the sun, “Princess Celestia!” I said, bowing before her.

“Rise my little pony. No need to be formal.” She said, steadying me to my new hooves.

“Well this is strange, but I just got to the bureau today. I thought that most conversions happened on the third day or something.” I asked, as my voice began to become more different than my own each time I spoke.

“Well maybe you were a special mare who got to be lucky first, but it’s now time to start your new life.”

“Thank you Princess.” I said, the last time as the world around me began to fade away.

“I think she is breathing!” Caramels voice called out, over me.

“Where is that doctor!? We need a cart stat!” Yelled somepony else, not wanting to cause a panic I opened my eyes.

“Urrrggg... What happened, last thing I remember I was talking to Princess Celestia,” I said in a high pitched voice that was reminiscent of a females voice.

“Eeep!” I said, before accidentally punching myself in the face with my new hooves, “Owww.”

“Honey, now don’t be alarmed but you’re a pony now.” said, a pink unicorn.

“I thought that’s what happened when you went to a bureau,” I said steadily getting up on my hooves slowly, “Except isn’t there a waiting period?”

“There was until somepony accidentally got into the extra serum cabinet and got her hooves on the R63 batch.” she said, shooting a glance at the pink pony, whose pink bouncy mane was deflated.

“I’m sorry Star Dancer but I thought it was a cherry sauce.” Pinkie said, on the verge of tears. So I slowly but steadily trotted up to her and hugged her.

“Its not a problem Pinkie, I was going to be a pony anyway, you just sped up the process but a day or two.” I said, after breaking the hug.

“So you’re alright with being a mare?” she said, before my blood turned to ice.

“I’m a what...”

“A mare silly filly.”

“But... Oh sweet Celestia she was right... I am a mare” I said, as I brought my hooves up to my face. They were of a pale navy blue and I could see a bit of my mane in my face which had a fluro blue highlights and a rose colored mane. I turned around to see that my tail matched my mane.

“Yes and a pretty unicorn too!” she said, poking my horn which sent a shiver through out my body.

“A unicorn... sweet, so does that mean that I can use magic!” I asked eagerly.

“Soon but not now hun’ since you got to go to orientation but don’t worry I’m sure you’ll make a lovely mare.” said Caramel, nuzzling me.

“Thanks. So could anypony help me trot over there?” I asked, as my legs began to wobble.

“Ooohhh! I can help! And I can also give the speech too! Heheheheh this is going to be so fun!” Pinkie said as she helped me to keep my balance on my four new appendages.

“So Pinkie what do I really look like?” I asked curiously.

“Well you’re a pretty unicorn mare,” She said, it made me blush and feel all warm inside, “You have a pale blue coat, rose mane and tail with a bright blue highlight. Ooohhh I have a pink bow that will go great with your mane, your going to love it.”

“Okay its just in my room, come on I’ll put it on you!” She said, as we went to her room.

‘Well Celestia said this is my new life, well it’s going to be interesting, and whats the worst that could happen?’ I thought to myself as we entered her room where she placed a pink bow to the back of my mane.

-Ten years later-

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS A POTION TO CHANGE ME INTO A STALLION!” I screamed, at Twilight.

“Rose Aura, just please calm down.” Twilight said, as she dodged a vase I threw at her with my magic.

“You should've told me!” I screamed, at her as my magic began to build up causing magical discharges to object around the house that caused them to levitate.

“Rose, for the ten years that I have been your neighbor you have loved it. You have a loving family and a beautiful foal that is top of his class. You’re also a very good spell caster only rivaled by me. Rose your life has been full of adventure and you know deep on your heart that you didn’t care if you were a mare or a stallion, you just wanted to get away from Australia.” She said, comforting me and bring me back to reality.

“Well... you are right and Dawn is one of the cuties colt I have ever saw and... yeah your right... Sometime I am a silly filly like Pinkie says.” I said giggling, while sitting on my haunches being hugged by Twilight, “Thanks for telling me. I wonder what would my life would be like if I was a stallion.”

“I could only imagine Rose. I could only imagine.”

-The End-

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Authors Notes: Well the moral of the story is don’t let Pinkie near the R63 Marification Potion. But this was a nice one off to write. Thanks to Aegis over in the IRC chat for the idea of it being Pinkie doing it, Wasteland Gunner for the cover art and all the prereaders in the IRC chat. Bunnana away.
-Bunnana King