Pinkie Pie's Participation in the Production of a Pony Related Piece

by Brodemus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, Main 6, Lyra, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3052

The fourth wall isn't a sacred institution when Pinkie Pie is around.

The fourth wall isn't a sacred institution when Pinkie Pie is around. She keeps trying to help me write and some of her ideas are good, but still, it's Pinkie Pie, need I say more?

Published 2011-10-30 01:18:42 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-30 02:07:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Pinkie Pie’s Participation in the Production of a Pony Related Piece

“Hey, Applejack.” Twilight said as she passed the Apple family’s makeshift shop.

“Howdy, Twi. Wouldya care fer an apple?” The farm pony balanced one of the red fruit on a hoof.

Twilight shook her head. “No, thank you, I’m supposed to meet Pinkie in the park soon.”

As soon as she finished her sentence, Pinkie Pie bounced around a corner.

<>

“Of course I did.”

<>

“There she is now.” The purple unicorn pointed to their friend. “Are you ready to test my new spell?”

<>

“Don’t tell me, she’s going to screw it up and something horrible is going to happen to us.”

…Maybe.

“That’s so clichéd.”

Fine, I’ll try something else.

<>

Rainbow Dash leaned closer to Applejack, the rainbow-maned pegasus’ breath warmed the farm pony’s neck. A few hairs escaped from Applejack’s hair tie and tickled her neck as Rainbow’s breathing played with them.

The pegasus saw Applejack tense. “AJ?”

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“Are you alright?”

<>

“Shipping? Really?”

What? What’s wrong with shipping? This IS fan written.

“Appledash is so overdone, though. Why don’t you do something original?”

Pinkie, listen, this is the internet, nothing is original anymore, and shipping is popular and fun to do.

“How about some Vinyl Dash?”

What?

“You know, Vinyl Scratch and Rainbow Dash. If Dashie’s being paired with everypony, why not the coolest DJ in all of Equestria?”

That’s…that’s actually not a bad idea. I haven’t seen a Vinyl Dash fic before.

“See? But, you’ll screw it up, move over.”

Pinkie, what are you-? No! Stop that! Oof!

<>

Rainbow Dash walked slowly through the door. The bar was mostly empty, only a few other ponies sat at booths or tables, each one creating his own personal island of isolation. She approached the bar.

“Bartender.” She tapped the countertop. Moments later, a pint of yellow liquid floated in front of her. The bartender knew Dash from numerous other visits, so she didn’t need to specify her drink of choice. “Thanks, Hops.” Rainbow lifted the glass and drew a long drink.

“Whoa, there, you’ll fall off the stool if you keep that up.” A white unicorn said from the left of Rainbow.

<>

How are you able to type with hooves?

“Shh! You’re ruining my story!”

<>

Rainbow turned to find dark purple glasses facing her. The mare’s dual-blue mane was unkempt and gave her an air of ‘cool,’ something Dash liked. Her snow-white coat glowed in the dim lights of the bar.

“Why don’t you mind your own business, Scratch?” Dash took another drink.

The two ponies knew each other from previous encounters. Rainbow actually knew Vinyl well; the two had been party hopping and clubbing for a few weeks.

Vinyl Scratch scooted her stool so she was closer to the pegasus. “Hard day, Dash?”

“The Wonderbolts turned me down again.” Rainbow stared at her drink.

The DJ pony wrapped leg around the dejected pegasus. “Look, Dash, those Wonderbolts, they clearly don’t know talent when they see it.”

Rainbow threw her friend’s leg off her shoulders. “Hey! Don’t say that about them! They’re just really…picky about who they let in.”

Vinyl Scratch placed a couple bits onto the counter. “Come on, I think I know how to cheer you up.” She looped a leg through one of Rainbow’s and practically dragged the pegasus out of the bar.

“But, I didn’t pay for my drink!” Dash protested.

“Don’t worry about it, I covered you.” Vinyl said calmly.

…..

Rainbow lied on the bed of Scratch’s room. “Uhh, Scratch? What do you have planned?”

The DJ pony appeared in the doorway. She glistened in the multicolored lights she preferred. “I think you can figure it out, Dash.”

“Umm,” Dash blushed, “I think I got it.”

“Are you cool with this?” Vinyl sauntered over to the bed and made small circles on Rainbow’s chest.

Before Rainbow could say anything, Scratch pulled her into a deep kiss.

“Yeah, I’m cool.” The pegasus whispered after they pulled apart.

Scratch smiled and slid a hoof up Dash’s leg to the pegasus’ hip and began to move inward.

<>

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No. I don’t write clopfics.

“But, what about that Appledash thing earlier?”

I had an idea of where that was going, and absolutely no sex scenes were going to be described, merely implied.

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

No! Mine was going to be a story of love, not some smut encounters between AJ and Dash.

“Boooriiing! The readers want something exciting! Besides, you’re not writing it, I am.”

That doesn’t matter. It’ll be published under MY username, and I am not okay with this.

“Why not? It doesn’t bother me.”

Well, it shouldn’t, you’re a pony, Pinkie. I don’t like to think of ponies as ‘sexy,’ but that’s just me.

“Ah, come on! Don’t you want to appeal to everypony in some way?”

I have standards, Pinkie. One of them is I don’t write clopfics.

“Fine. How about an adventure story?”

Okay, what do you have in mind?

“Hmm, what if Spike is captured and imprisoned by Princess Celestia and Luna after Twilight dies from a spell that he suggested? And, and, his son, Gem Stone, leaves his mother, Rarity, to rescue him with the grown up Cutie Mark Crusaders because they have been fighting against the now tyrannical rule of the Princesses?”

…

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

That sounds awesome! But, I’m writing this one.

“Nope! I am.”

Get over here!

“Haha!”

No. No! NO! Ahh!

<>

“Where’s my dad?” Gem Stone shouted. His voice resounded off of the marble pillars.

“We have him safe and sound in the dungeon.” Celestia grinned. “Luna, call the guards!”

Luna’s horn glowed an eerie indigo and a portal of the same color appeared in the middle of the room. Out of the nether-gate came the Royal Guards, clad entirely in black armor and adorned with spiked helmets.

“Applebloom!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

“Ah got it!” The youngest Apple sibling clenched a small bomb out of her saddlebag in her teeth and tossed it to Gem. The dragon-pony hybrid caught the explosive deftly, primed it, and tossed it into the middle of the opposing army. The floor reverberated with the blast and black figures flew in every direction.

“What was that?!” Scootaloo lowered an armored wing.

The farm pony crossed her front legs. “Somethin’ special Ah’ve been savin’ fer just this occasion.” She stated confidently.

A low sparking noise suddenly became audible.

“Gem!” Scootaloo jumped in front of Gem Stone, who had been the original target of the magic-based attack.

She managed to raise her metal-clad wing and shield their leader just before the white-hot bolt made contact. Searing residue splashed around them.

“Thanks, Scoot.” The pragon stepped forward. “Girls, I have an idea. Bloom, I want you to buck me into the farthest pillar when I say, just get ready. Scoot, Belle, shield us.”

The unicorn and pegasus nodded as Applebloom primed her legs for a buck.

“You foals!” Celestia’s and Luna’s horns glowed. Multiple streaks of dark-indigo and white erupted out of the appendages and bolted toward the rebels.

Scootaloo flared her armor-clad wings and deflected the missiles as she and Gem ran toward the other two in their group. Sweetie Belle sang to summon a shield to surround her and Applebloom. The ethereal protection spell swirled calmly around them and rippled as magic bolts impacted it. As Gem and Scootaloo neared the shield, Sweetie Belle sang the next part of the spell to push the shield away and towards the Princesses.

Gem jumped behind Applebloom, his back to her. “Now!”

He leapt up and placed his feet onto Applebloom’s hind hooves. The earth pony pushed out with as much strength as she could muster. The dragon-pony flew through the air at the closest pillar to the two alicorns. He raised his clawed hands and slashed at the bottom of the tall column. Quickly, he climbed to the top of the pillar.

“You foolish abomination against nature. A mix of races, pony and dragon, you disgust me.”

He looked up and saw Luna hovering in front of him. Her horn glowing that same horrible color, but was interrupted by another projectile from the CMC.

Scootaloo impacted the princess, flapping her wings in order to do the most damage possible. The armored appendages cut Luna deeply, the tendons in the princess’ wings were sliced and the two plummeted to the floor.

“Scootaloo!” Gem shouted.

Scootaloo was still on top of Luna, using her hooves as well as her wings to damage the alicorn.

“Sister! Help me!” Luna cried.

“You’ve been nothing but a nuisance since you returned from your imprisonment.”

Scootaloo stopped her attacks to look up at the older princess.

“What? You can’t be serious, dear sister!” The indigo alicorn’s eyes welled with tears.

Celestia grinned. “And now, you have one of the Crusaders open. I’m sorry, dear sister, but you must understand your sacrifice.”

Suddenly, Scootaloo felt nauseous. She vomited, but all that came out was blood. “What?”

Luna did the same.

“This spell requires close quarters and time to prepare. Thank you, Luna, for keeping the young pegasus busy, but you must also die with her.” Celestia’s grin never ceased.

<>

Okay, a few things. One, that wasn’t fair, using Fluttershy like a shield to distract me. Two, these characters are so out of character it isn’t even funny.

“Well, this IS fan written.”

Very funny.

“Come on, I’ve been written as a serial killer, crazy, in more ways than one, and a bunch of other stuff that would take too long to explain. I’ve even been drawn as a human mental patient where the whole series takes place in my mind.”

Even still…

“It’s fanon, you can write it however you want!”

I’ll give you that, but I still don’t know how I feel about this.

“What’s so confusing about it?”

I just fell weird having Celestia as a tyrant. I don’t see her that way. I see her more as the benevolent ruler.

“Hmm, you really think so?”

Yep. I really like this idea for a story, but I’m feeling more low-key. How about another shot at shipping?

“Okie Dokie Lokie. How about Lyra and Fluttershy?”

Umm, Pinkie?

“What?”

It’s pretty much universally accepted that Lyra and Bon-Bon are together.

“That’s the beauty of it!”

What?!

“The scandal, we could include Lyra and Bon-Bon together, but Lyra isn’t faithful and is having an affair with Fluttershy.”

NO! Lyra and Bon-Bon are together. I will not accept anything else.

“Touchy about your ships?”

Only on a few. How about a story where Fluttershy is the only one interested in mares?

“What do you mean?”

Like, Twilight and Caramel, Rainbow and Soarin, Rarity and, uh, Spike, Applejack and Bluegrass, and you and a ponified Discord. You guys all have these coltfriends and ask Fluttershy if she’s seeing anypony, but she reveals she’s only interested in mares.

“First of all, a ‘ponified Discord?’ How are you gonna explain that?”

I was thinking that instead of turning him into stone, the Elements of Harmony turned him into a full-blown earth pony and stripped him of his chaos powers.

“…”

What?

“What if I’m single?”

Again, what?

“Like, instead of a weird pony Discord, that would also completely shatter any sense of canon, what if I’m single and Fluttershy is attracted to me?”

Hmm, okay. I think I can see where you’re going with this.

“I know, right?”

…GIMME THAT KEYBOARD!

“NEVER! HAHAHA!”

DAMN IT, PINKIE! LET ME WRITE THIS ONE!

“NO! FLUTTERSHY!”

<>

The butter colored pegasus strolled through the Ponyville park.

“Hey, Fluttershy!”

She looked up at a nearby cloud carrying a single pegasus.

“Oh, hello, Rainbow.” She said just loud enough to be heard by her friend.

“Hey there, Fluttershy!” Another head peaked from a top the cloud.

Fluttershy blushed in embarrassment. “Oh my, I’m sorry, Soarin, I didn’t see you there. I really hope I’m not interrupting something.”

“Naw, we’re just chillin’ up here.” Soarin said as he nuzzled Rainbow.

Fluttershy looked at her hooves.

“Well, it was nice seein’ you, Fluttershy. But, we got some more practicing to do.” Rainbow nudged her coltfriend and took off into the sky. Soarin nodded at the timid pony before following his lover.

She wouldn’t admit it, but Fluttershy felt out of the loop with her friends. They all were in relationships. Even Rarity and Spike seemed normal to her after the dragon had grown and revealed an extremely masculine nature. Rarity tried setting Fluttershy up on several dates, but the pegasus always managed to weasel her way out of it. Not because she wasn’t grateful, but because all of the dates were with stallions and she wasn’t attracted to males.

Fluttershy continued to walk with her head down, so she didn’t see Twilight and Caramel before bumping into the purple unicorn and falling down.

“Oh, oh my, I’m so sorry, Twilight.” She stammered.

“You’re fine, Fluttershy.” The unicorn smiled at Fluttershy.

Caramel trotted over to the pegasus. “Careful there, Fluttershy.”

He helped her to her hooves. “Thank you, Caramel. How are you two?”

They both blushed together.

“Umm,” Twilight’s voice cracked slightly, “we’re just heading back to the Library.”

“Yeah, to do some…some studying!” Caramel added.

Fluttershy suddenly realized what they were trying, and miserably failing, to hide. “Oh, oh. W-well, I wouldn’t want to keep you from, um, studying.”

“Right.” Twilight dashed behind Caramel and pushed him. “Well, we’ve got a lot of ‘studying’ to do, so I’ll see you later, Fluttershy.”

Caramel waved backwards to Fluttershy as Twilight and he disappeared around a corner.

Fluttershy’s blush didn’t cease as she continued her melancholy adventure through Ponyville. Applejack had the Apple Family stand set up and Bluegrass, her coltfriend, played the banjo in front to draw in customers. The farm and music ponies waved briefly at Fluttershy before a dozen customers stopped to purchase some fruit.

<>

Brushie. Brushie. Brushie.

“Ahem, could you be a little quieter?”

Sorry.

<>

Suddenly, a loud giggle could be heard. Fluttershy knew the distinct laugh; Pinkie Pie was having a good time somewhere nearby.

“Hi, Fluttershy!” Pinkie appeared out of seemingly nowhere next to the yellow pegasus.

Fluttershy squeaked and shrank into a ball on the ground. Her heart pounded in her chest, partially because of the start and partially because her dream mare had appeared.

Pinkie was everything Fluttershy wasn’t; outgoing, loud, and energetic. That’s why Fluttershy fell in love with her.

“Oppsie, sorry, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Oh, it’s okay, Pinkie.”

The pink party pony helped her friend to her hooves. “Well, I have a super special party planned, so I’ll see you later.” She bounced away from the now dejected pegasus.

“Oh, who are you kidding, Fluttershy? She could never love you back.” Her eyes welled as she walked slowly down the street.

…..

A large gathering of ponies stood in the center of the park, the location of Pinkie’s ‘super special party.’

Fluttershy didn’t like crowds, but her friends always convinced her to attend parties.

Pinkie Pie dropped from the roof of a makeshift gazebo. “Fillies and gentlecolts!” She announced as loud as she could. “I have a very special guest here today!”

The crowd collectively held its breath in anticipation.

“I would like to introduce, Fluttershy!” She finished.

Fluttershy’s face couldn’t turn red enough to display her embarrassment. To make matters worse, a banner unfolded from the edge of the gazebo’s roof that touted: Fluttershy, will you go out with me?

Everypony turned to the red-faced pegasus, awaiting an answer.

She couldn’t speak; her emotions wouldn’t let her, but finally, her excitement of being with Pinkie Pie won over her embarrassment. “Of course I will!”

The crowd let out a cheer. Same sex relationships were as much accepted as straight ones, so Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie weren’t viewed in negative light after their coming out. They embraced each other and the party continued until early the next morning, leaving the two mares happy in their new status.

<>

“There you go, a nice one-shot on shipping, exploration, and love.”

Brushie. Brushie.

“Ahem.”

Hm? What?

“Could you stop brushing Fluttershy’s mane long enough to read this?”

Oh, ahem, sorry. Let me read it.

“The laptop’s yours.”

Hm. M-hm. Okay. Wait a minute. Is this some sort of fantasy of yours?

“What?”

Well, you suggested that Fluttershy is attracted to you, and then you write this.

“It’s fan fiction!”

That’s another thing, I’m the brony here. You’re actually a part of the universe, so it’s not really ‘fan’ anything if you write it.

“Oh, technicalities.”

Well, it’s not bad, but it feels very rushed and sort of follows the whole ‘bing-bang-boom they’re in love’ thing.

“What’s wrong with that?”

There really isn’t any depth to it.

“Look, if you want depth, you’re going to have to write a long-format story.”

Not entirely.

“How so?”

The story could be a little longer. I don’t need to write a billion chapters to flesh out depth if I don’t have to. You barely wrote two pages worth of a romance story.

“Well, do you have any other ideas, wise guy?”

Hmm, not at the moment. You?

“Writing that story really made me want to throw a party.”

You’re not throwing a party here.

“Aw, why not?”

First, I don’t know how my roommates will handle a party in our room. Second, you’re a cartoon character, and as much as I like having you here, I don’t know how everyone else will handle the idea. So, back into the internet with you.

“Hey! You can’t just pick me up like that!”

Sorry, Pinkie, but you’re going back to Equestria. OW! Hey, no need to punch me in the face!

“No! I must write more!”

Come on, back to the internet with you.

“You expect to push me through the monitor?”

That’s how you got here! Now…get…back…in there!

“Fine. Put me down. Come on, Fluttershy. We’re going home. But, know this; I can come back any time I want to, now that I know how to get here.”

Phew, glad that’s over. Huh? She wrote something else.

“You suck and I’ll be back.”

PINKIE PIE!