When Princesses Don't Get Their Coffee

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE SHOOTS LASER BEAM AT INNOCENT PONIES

Princess Twilight Sparkle shot a laser beam only yesterday at innocent ponies only doing their job. Not only did she assault the ponies, she also ruined many homes and shops. We had reporters go out to interview the others reporters affected by the beam. This is what one said: "As I stood quietly by the castle waiting for the princess to come out I suddenly hear a loud noise as a laser beam soared past my head. My heart nearly exploded as everything got slower and I saw the laser beam soar by. The Princess had a deranged look on her face as death nearly took me. If I had been standing a inch further to the right I could have died. I am going to sue that crazy *****!" As you can see ponies are pissed at their new princess. Now let's hear what a shop owner affected by the princess's beam said: "It was another day at Sugar Cube Corner and nothing seemed crazy. As a customer was ordering a large beam suddenly crashed through my shop. Costumers screamed and ran off, saying they'll never go back to my shop. And now I have a huge wall in my home! Princess Twilight Sparkle better pay for my home and get my costumers back or I am going to be real mad!" Hear that folks? Has Celestia finally gone mad? Will she crown others like Twilight and let them reek havoc on our beloved Equestria? Read more on Equestria Daily newspaper! (Continued on p3)