Your Human And You: Feet First Into Hell

"Son of a bitch," Maelstrom cursed as Black Eye picked up the unconscious pony.

"She literally came out of nowhere and I reacted, sir," Black Eye said. "What was I supposed to do?"

"That's got to be the largest one we've seen so far, though," Icepick said.

"And apparently they have the capability to teleport," Melt noted. "Just what we need."

"Do you think they know we're all here?" Sputnik asked.

"Doubt it," Blind said. "This one came in here alone and out of nowhere. If this was some kind of jump on us or an ambush, they would have synchronized their assault to keep this one safe."

"Hey, she's got a little tiara on her head! Check it out," Cowbell said.

"Nightmare!"

The ODSTs straightened their posture as Maelstrom walked up to the unconscious pony. He cupped its cheek and turned its head about before sighing.

"We just hit a major snag in this operation."

\\\//////

Luna stopped in her trek as she sensed something in the back of her mind. The familiar matrices of spells she had cast on her chambers rang inside of her mind as she closed her eyes to examine who was in there. She could sense the magic of her sister, but seven other figures. Six of them carried no magical presence, but the seventh she could recognize.

"Did Tia find them out, then?" she panicked.

"Um, Princess?" a scientist said.

Without so much as another word, she vanished in a flash of azure, leaving behind a very stumped team of experts.

"Um... back to work?"

\\\//////

Maelstrom shook his head as Nightmare positioned around the unconscious pony, Black Eye sitting next to her head while Cowbell seemed to be entranced by her tail.

"Is this why people take drugs?" he said, waving a hand around the multi-hued hairs.

"Why, to get fantasies about alien ass?" Icepick said.

"Hey, I'm just looking at this thing's tail, alright? It's moving on its own, without any wind or anything! How is it doing this?"

"Do us a favor and don't try to find out," Melt said.

"Why not?"

"Battle of Cleveland."

"Right, moving away now."

As Cowbell switched places with Sputnik, Maelstrom returned to examining the knife he had found prior. He took a look at the pommel, and noticed that the sapphire had faded to a dark navy. He squinted his eyes to study it closely, until something odd happened. A skull similar to the brand of the ODST insignia etched itself into the gem, the eye sockets burning a bright cyan.

"What the fuck?"

CRACK

Once again, the ODSTs found themselves leveling their weapons at another mysterious intruder, this one, however, smaller than the first, with blue fur and hair and was lucky enough to not be within punching range of any of them.

"Okay, seriously, how!?" Cowbell said.

Maelstrom slid the knife into the back of his belt before approaching the pony.

"Princess Luna, I presume."

The Princess nodded.

"Indeed, Maelstrom. We sincerely apologize for Our sister's undue visit whilst We were escorted about the Castle and her secrets. It calms Us seeing that minimal harm has come to her."

Fire-team Nightmare lowered their collective weapons as Maelstrom spoke on their collective behalf.

"She came in the same way you just did, so we acted on instinct. Let's just say that we're all at fault here and call it even. I believe that you have something you wanted to share with us?"

"Mayhaps mine sister shalt help with thine conundrum. We believe that this situation involving the Human population of this world would be a most pressing concern for her."

\\\//////

"Ugh... my head," Celestia said as she slowly came back to her senses.

She could feel the dull throb in her left temple as her mouth held the taste of iron. The Princess slowly stood up on her front hooves, another pair coming into contact with her shoulders.

"Sister, do not be alarmed," Luna said. "Our guests were merely startled from thine method of arrival."

"O-oh, I apologize then, whoever you are," Celestia said as she rubbed her eyes. "I had the strangest vision when I was kno-"

The Princess of the Sun paused when she looked up to see seven tall, thickly built Humans in advanced combat armor, holding weapons that caused varying degrees of worry to spike through her.

Celestia's jaw dropped when she saw the silver plates of their helmets fall to reveal their scarred faces, glares and sneers directed at her. The one in the middle walked up to her before speaking.

"Apology accepted," he said. "I believe you have some information we're in need of."

\\\//////

Shining Armor groaned as he began to recover from being knocked out, trying to pull a hoof up to his face.

He tried and failed, however, when he felt something keep his hoof down.

Slowly shaking his head, Shining Armor opened his eyes in a brief panic as he fiddled against the restraints on his body. He tried to look around, finding that he was strapped to something vertical to the ground, his legs splayed out in different directions while something held his head in place.

The Captain of the Guard began to take deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. He had been through worse in training. This room was very sterile and was sparsely decorated, a sheet of glass between him and the metallic surfaces of the outer hallway.

'This is no time to panic, Shiny,' he thought to himself. 'You're strapped to some kind of wall in a prison on an alien spaceship... okay, this is the time to panic. But just think for a second...'

Shining focused his attention upward and smiled.

'They didn't get your horn.'

He focused his magic into the horn, and...

He focused his magic into the horn...

He grunted as he tried to focus his magic into his horn...

... and nothing happened.

"Wha... what? What's going on? Why can't I use my magic?"

He quickly shut his mouth when he heard hooffalls outside of his cell. The pattern, however, threw him off. There was no clop or scrape, and the pace was far too uneven for it to be a pony or Griffon. No, it was bipedal. He could tell from the space between footfalls, like a Human's own from when he saw them cleaning out latrines in the Academy.

The glass slid away as the footsteps approached. A figure turned the corner...

Shining's jaw dropped.

Standing in front of him, chin held high in the best posture he had ever seen, was a Human in a black officer-like uniform with a strange symbol of a triangle. It was an old male Human, judging from the white hair on its head and the beard. It had hard brown eyes, stern and unfeeling, burrowing into Shining with a ferocity that he wouldn't dare question.

It approached him slowly and drew out a small object before resting it on a table that was jutting from the wall.

"What are you doing in here, Human?" Shining said. "Where's your owner? Why are you in here?"

The Human sighed deeply before shaking its head slowly. It closed the distance before it spoke.

"Listen up," the Human said, "because I'm only going to say this once. You and your team are done with your search. You didn't find anything. It was just some meteor that some merchants made off with after it cracked open on impact. Nothing but ice and rocks. Everything you've seen here, will be forgotten. Do you understand?"

Shining's jaw flapped up and down, trying to formulate a response. Again, he had to steel himself internally, reminding himself that he was the Captain of Celestia's Royal Guard! He wasn't going to be made a fool of by some alien's pet Human!

"You better watch yourself, Human! I'm the Captain of Princess Celestia's Royal Guard! I can have you put away for 20 years for daring to speak to me like this! I order you to go find your master or whatever owns this thing, and tell them that if they don't release me, they'll be facing the wrath of the Sun itself!"

The Human let out a breath through its nostrils before it chuckled.

Shining's eyes widened. Was this Human... laughing at him!?

"Boy, I think you'd best think of the good of your planet before you go threatening a Commander of the Office of Naval Intelligence. I can have enough ordnance dropped on this backwater planet to leave a crater big enough to fit its moon. One wrong word out of you can have a fleet of hundreds ready to storm this planet and rescue our kind by force. I'm giving you one, and only one chance, here. I suggest you pull your head out of your anus, swallow all two inches of your pride, and wake *up**. You're no big dog in this universe. You're barely a blip on the radar. Humanity's faced bigger and far, *far badder monsters than your kind. I don't know how you managed to abduct and enslave these people, and I don't care. It ends. Now. Humanity's taken enough beatings in the last 30 years than you'll ever know, and we came out on top. Don't you DARE threaten me. Don't you dare threaten US. Because the last guys that did that are either dead or so fragmented amongst themselves that they won't pose another threat for centuries."

The Human grasped Shining by the throat before bringing his face closer.

"I'll tell you again. Tell your leaders to let my people go, or we'll do it ourselves."

This... this thing, was not Human. It couldn't be! The way it spoke, the way it carried itself, and the pure fear that Shining felt under its gaze... there's no way this thing was related to Humans.

"What are you?"

"I told you. I'm Human."