The Darker Side of Love

Ink Flash walked down the hallway of the hospital with her head held low, her mane covering her eyes. Her wings drooped. Her hoof-steps were uneven and shaky. She had no presence, no substance to her existence. She just seemed to be there, a ghost.

Her world was falling apart around her and continued to do so. The floor had been ripped out from under her in the span of less than a few hours. Memories blurred through her mind as she numbly plopped herself on a bench in the hallway. The images were dizzying, confusing, as all the colors blended into one ugly shade of grey.

This was her life now, and that was what it should have been. But it would never happen now. She would always be the apprentice, always be the weak one. Pain. Pain and shame in his eyes, that was all she remembered. The look in Silent Shadow's eyes had been unbearable when he apologized for not being able to finish her training. The weak sound of his normally confident voice had shot through her and left a burning hole which she thought, she knew, could never be filled again.

Slipping during a lesson and Silent rushing forward to grab her hooves and pull her up before she fell.

The smile he gave her when he knew she understood something.

The soft hugs that she worked so hard for.

That kiss that left such an empty feeling as he left her and walked into almost certain death, facing danger alone for her sake.

Coming back on death's door, barely able to look at her.

Screaming.

His screaming.

Tears.

Rivers had flown from the midnight blue orbs that Ink thought she knew so well.

Ink wrenched her eyes shut, trying to fight back the twisted images as tears pooled up in her own turquoise eyes, threatening to spill down her face at any moment. She felt so alone. So cold. So empty. She shook her head and hugged herself, doubling over and letting a miserable sob rip its way out of her chest. Doubt. Anger. Guilt.

Why didn't I stop him?

I could have. I could have made him stay with me. I could have stopped him....I...

“Ink Flash!” she heard the doctor call from down the hall, his voice distant to her. But she had fallen into a haze, a fog. The world blurred away, the air neither warm nor cold.

No pain. No fear. No regret. Nothing. Just nothing. It was better this way, better if she just let go and accepted that it all had happened. For a moment, she was alone. The smell of antiseptic was gone. The constant nagging and beeping of monitors was finally silenced.

Silence.

More tears hazed her vision. That word. That thought. Another sob ripped its way out of her chest, dragging itself up her throat and leaving ugly lines in its wake. The sound echoed down the hall, passing nurses pausing as if to ask her what was the matter then moving on once they thought better of it. She didn't want to be alone, though. Couldn't they all see that? Couldn't they see that was what was making her fall even deeper into the darker side of her that she had been fighting back for so long? But there was no reason to fight back the shadows anymore. She had lost everything she had hoped for, she had lost her reason for living and standing up each time she got knocked down.

She had become a disappointment to Silent. She had become the one that brought him shame, a painful reminder of what should have, could have, been. She had become what she feared most: A regret.

Urgent hoof-steps.

A hoof on her shoulder, pulling her out of the shadows.

She couldn't help but gasp as she shot upright, her eyes flying open suddenly as if bracing herself to fight. Her heart raced. She wasn't breathing, she was gasping and each desperate breath only dug deeper into her throat than the last. Ink finally realized that she was shaking. Her entire form was trembling with enough force that she could hear the clicking of her teeth coming together. For a second, she was shivering and then heat flooded through her, painting her face red the next.

“Ink Flash,” Dr. Red Cross whispered gently although his red eyes were urgent and all business, “We need to talk about your master.”

Falling. Farther and farther. Darkness. Ever deeper. Ever closer. Her eyes flittered shut and she fainted from the stress of it all, the doctor catching her with a patient sigh. He shook his head and just waited, knowing she would come back around in a few moments. And sure enough, Ink's eyes slowly opened a few minutes later.

She looked around warily for a few seconds before realizing where she was. Violent shakes vibrated through her again. The fear in her eyes would have made any other pony doubt her assassin status. She looked so young, so frail. She looked completely unlike Ink Flash.

Red Cross sighed and tried to keep his voice even but urgent, trying to meet Ink's eyes but finding it hard since she kept looking away out of fear. But fear of what? “Ink, this is serious. I know you're scared, but you have to stand up and be the assassin Silent knows you are.” Ink's eyes flew to his face and he smiled at the slight sparkle in her eyes, “There may be a way to save him, but we all have to talk about it, alright?”

The glow that shone from somewhere deep within the shadows in her eyes made him smile. She nodded, the action definite. She was standing on shaky ground, he knew, and he began to realize that there was more to Ink Flash and her master than they were both letting on, or even aware of. He could see it in her eyes, the way he acted around her. The way she had crumbled the second guilt had consumed her. As she went to Silent's room ahead of him, he found himself wondering if they were aware of the way they acted around each other. He had to wonder if Ink had admitted to herself, that in one way or another, she most definitely loved Silent Shadow.

He shook his head with a sad sigh as he followed her back to the room, stepping in and smiling slightly. Ink sat next to Silent's bed, holding one of his hooves in one of her own, and her other one being held by Digger. Ink's eyes immediately went to Red Cross as he walked in, worry darkening his eyes as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

After taking a moment to gather his thoughts and delicately pick his wording, he spoke up softly, trying to be gentle. “There is...a problem that makes this all so much worse than I originally thought,” he winced inwardly as he caught the slight tensing of Ink's posture and way she tightened her grip on Silent's hoof in response. He sighed, “There may be a way to fix this, Ink, as I told you in the hallway,” he saw that she wanted to say something and he held up a hoof to tell her to wait. “It's a very rare flower called the Root Of Life that has powerful healing properties.” He paused for only a few seconds, smiling inwardly at the attention Ink was paying him. “And at this point, Ink...” he sighed sadly and lowered his head, “It's not just about him being an assassin...it's about his life.” He winced at the whimper that escaped Ink's throat as he continued quietly, “The anti-venom is now slowly eating away at him, and I do mean eating,” he sighed. “The flower, I'm sad to say, is the only was that...” he looked Ink in the eyes, face completely serious, trying to make her understand the weight of the situation, “your master will live, Ink Flash.”

The world spun. She was lightheaded. She looked at the crumpled stallion in the bed, in the midnight eyes that used to glitter brightly out of thinly hidden pride. She could see his answer in his eyes and it only drove the dagger of guilt deeper into Ink:

Don't worry about me, Ink. You have your own life to live.

Ink shook her head in response to Silent and was still meeting his gaze when she nodded to Red Cross, her voice hardened with a steely resolve. “Tell me what I have to do.”

Silent's eyes widened the smallest bit, “Ink...no.”

Ink shook her head. “No. I'm going, Silent. Forgive me, but you have too much to live for as well. Don't give me the excuse that all that really needs to be taken care of is my training and DarkFire when less than an hour ago, that's all you were worried about. Me, and how you had “failed” me by not being able to finish my training.” Ink shook her head with a sigh, “Well none of that matters if you're not even alive. So, with your blessing or no, I'm going.”

“While I'm sure he appreciates your tenacity, Ink...” Digger spoke up quietly, pulling his marefriend's gaze away from her master to him, “He has every right to be worried about you. Not that you're not capable...just...”

Red Cross sighed, “It will be dangerous, Ink Flash, I'm not going to lie. You're going into the domain of the Gods to retrieve something that is protected from us mortals for a reason. There will be trials and you may die trying, as many have before. While I'm sure that you can handle traps and poisonous flowers even as only an apprentice, I do worry about your ability to combat immortals.”

“I can-”

“There's a difference between confidence and arrogance, Ink,” came the weak voice of Silent as he gripped her hoof weakly. “Don't mistake one for the other. You are an amazing assassin even at this level, but remember what happened last time you tried to go against a divine being?”

Ink bristled, her voice growing cold. “I'm better than that now, Silent.”

He sighed softly, shaking his head slightly and closing his eyes in defeat. “Your overconfidence will be your ruin one day, Ink. Mark my words.”

In a small sign of defiance, Ink snorted in response to her master's remark, tossing her mane out of her eyes and removing her hoof from his weak grip. “I'm not letting you die,” she said in an even voice without looking at him, “You know me well enough to know that doesn't work with me.”

Digger smiled softly, nuzzling her in reassurance even though she ignored him, looking to Red Cross for answers, “So there you have it. No matter what anypony says, I going. Besides,” her voice finally softened slightly as she held Digger's hoof with both of hers, “I won't be going alone.”

Digger tensed. “What?! You can't be serious. I'm going too?”

Ink nodded patiently, not hint of emotion on her face. “Well of course. Duh. I have no ability to read a map and while the doc has confidence in my ability to handle traps, I don't. Plus, power in numbers, right?”

Red Cross smiled softly. Ink certainly was a guardian. Even when seemingly lost in the throws of despair brought on by her -he hesitated only slightly to use the word- love for her master, she paused to think about things from a rational side. He couldn't help but grin as he watched Digger and Ink go back and forth between each other, affectionately bickering over whether he should go or not. He had to admit, as he looked at Silent for a moment, catching his eye, that Silent had trained his apprentice well thus far. Or perhaps this was something that Ink was born with and the training had only brought it out of her. Perhaps she always was this cautious or that she had just learned to focus her abilities in a more constructive way than paranoia.

Sighing, he looked back at the young couple and rolled his eyes. “Ink's right, Digger. It's better for her not to go alone. I would offer, but I have the hospital to look after.”

With a defeated sigh, Digger nodded, looking at Ink with admiration in his coppery eyes. Of course she was right. She was taught to think about things from a rational perspective, even when in an emotional situation such as this one. But he did wonder, though, as Ink stole a glance at Silent, if there was more to them than she was letting on. He trusted her, though, and wouldn't question her. As long as she didn't act on whatever feelings there were between them, he didn't mind that she was so concerned about him. After all, he was her master. Her reason for fighting as hard as she did.

But he wouldn't admit to anypony that he was partially jealous of the way that Ink looked at Silent or the way she would go out of her way just to see him crack a soft smile. It almost annoyed Digger, but he wouldn't say anything about it. They were close, and had been even before he and Ink had started dating, so he couldn't expect her to just drop any feelings she had for other stallions.

But he would still wonder what was being said between the two in those moments when their eyes met for a bit longer than a second.

And probably never would know.