The Conversion Bureau: The Great Escape
"So, you want us to drive out of the city?"
"Exactly!"
"Alright, that doesn't sound like a bad plan. But why a lamborghini? Why not something better, like a ccx?"
"Dude, I'm not that rich. Besides, nothing looks better than a Lamborghini."
"Yeah, you are right about that. But what about performance? This is going to be our escape vehicle after all."
"This thing has everything. Pushrod suspension, floppy paddle gearbox, carbon fiber body, and 691, horses under the hood."
"You mean ponies?" I said jokingly.
"Shut up."
"Okay, sorry. When does it get here?"
"Tommorow."
"Shit! Are you for serious!?"
"I am for serious dude!"
"You are one awesome motherfucker!"
"Dude."
"What?"
"You know that the car is gonna get wasted in the escape, right?"
"Yeah, it probably will. But the freedom is what matters."
"Well, I'm gonna look up a good route to go through."
"Yeah man, go do your funky math thing and stuff, nerd."
"Steve jobs was a nerd and he made more money than you!" I yelled from the kitchen.
"Yeah but all nerds get cancer!" he retorted.
Several hours later, after slaving over a map of our city and the surrounding ones, I had figured out several routes. Each one had it's pros and cons. I just had had to present them to Nathan.
"Yo Nathan!"
"You get something figured out buddy?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, lay it on me."
"More like them."
"You figured more than one route out!?"
"Yep!"
"Okay, which do you think is best?"
"Uh... I prefer number two, we should have a good chance with that one." I said.
"I see you have that big straightway."
"That's in all three of them. That is where we are gonna floor it and get the fuck out of here!"
"I see, I like this. So why do you think number two is the best route?"
"With route number two, we are going to use the city to our advantage. With this things handling, we should be able to out maneuver them."
"So why two other plans?"
"Backup of course. We have to be able to roll with any punches, like blockades and stuff."
"You always come through for me man."
"I know I do. But here is where I can't. Cars have been made illegal in these cities since the P.E.R. Took over. What are we gonna do about that?"
"Dammit! I forgot! Well, fuck it, there goes the whole thing.
"Don't go that far yet."
"You think an excuse will work?"
"Yeah, how about a... Oh! A last act of our humanity!"
"Yeah! They're probably gullible enough to believe that!"
Suddenly, the telephone rang.
"Hello?"
"This is your local P.E.R. conversion bureau. Your address has been selected for conversion on; Thursday June 24. Have a nice day."
"Who was that?"
"P.E.R. We have a day or so."
"Alright. So you think this is doable?"
"Yeah. All we need to do is go over and convince them we want to do this as a last act of humanity."
"Alright, want me to go over there now?"
"Yeah, make sure to wear more than one layer of clothing."
"Yeah, yeah whatever."
The Conversion Bureau: The Great Escape
*BANG BANG*
The sound of modified rounds filled the air. going through flesh with the intent of not death, but a new life via conversion.
"*Sigh*. P.E.R. is back man."
"I can see that."
"Usual hididng spot?"
"Yeah."
My friend Nathan and I both jumped off the couch and found the little hole in the floor of our shared house (for college)
and lifted it up. Inside was a room big enough for the both of us. We hid there when ever P.E.R. decided to make, "A few random lucky converts!"
Now. Why, you ask, do we hide in a little hole for the rest of the day? Simple. The P.E.R. have adopted a new tactic. Seizing a city, and letting the inhabitants either come peacefully, or do what they are doing just now. It's like this in two other cities. What's left of the U.S. Military, waits at the border, "Asserting their superiority," but not going in and helping the trapped humans within. Of course the princesses don't care to help. Their main goal is nothing but, "peaceful" assimilation. So, with nothing but a deck of cards, and a few imperishable snack items, we hunkered down for the night.
Our eyes didn't greet the sun for we were still underground.
"Nathan, wake up."
"What the hell do you want."
"It's morning."
"Oh, okay."
We both arose from our slumbers, stiff and not really rested, due to the fact that we were too lazy to move two beds down here.
"Nathan, im sick and tired of waiting around to be converted. Lets just get it over with already."
"No dude, i got a plan."
"Dude, your last plan got us both arrested for arson."
"That wasn't one of my better plans."
"Okay Nathan, what do you have for me."
"Alright, You know how I said I've wanted a Lambo my whole life,"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, well I made an order through a proxy to our address so the P.E.R. couldn't trace us. So we can drive out of this hell hole in style."