I Will Always Wait For You
I gotta remember to keep my head on straight this time. No more mind games! Last time I was here I started hearing Scoots like she was right next to me, like she was still here. What hurt the most was that even then I could only hear her for a few seconds; guess I can't even be happy in my hallucinations anymore.
These past few couple of years... I'd say they've been awesome; I mean I finally got into the Wonderbolts after all that useless training I didn't need and those tests... Never again. Got captain too! Not like that was a surprise though. Sorry, Spitfire, you'll always be my friend but there was no way you were winning that race! Guess the better Pegasus really did win. All my records also came down too like they were nothing, which thinking about it now, they really were just that. I remember when just one rainboom was called special.
Still though, I'd be lying if I said I was anything close to happy. Being the fastest of all time's cool and all, but knowing you messed up as big as I did... smiles are hard to come by.
I'm standing right now looking down at the waterfall that started it all. How many years ago it was always confuses me, but that night's one of those things that ain't ever leaving me. Rarity and Applejack's idea of a camping trip, Scoots acting all weird, the sound of her scooter taking off, her falling down, so close, my save. The whole thing could be replaying in my head and I'd believe that it was happening right now. Why can't it?
It'd been a while since I was that mad at a pony; I mean, you act all weird for the entire trip and then I catch you running off in the middle of the night and falling off a waterfall! What do you expect me to be like?! Still, I'm glad I went on that trip; I didn't know it at the time, but she was the greatest gift a pony like me could've been given.
We did the usual sister stuff together, going on adventures, pranking, sometimes just chillin'; I even had to go to her Cutie Mark Crusader whatever meetings sometimes; thank Celestia Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle found theirs. Hanging out with my friends will always be awesome, but doing it with your sis, just the two of you, that's just something else though; nothing can compare. We'd even get all personal sometimes and tell each other secrets and just say things we would never ever say in front of anypony else. I miss that.
It was cool; we'd hang; sometimes I'd hold her up so she could pretend to fly. The flying was what she was into the most. Not a first, but after a while it was like me holding her up was all we'd do.
"Wanna go catch the race?"
"No!"
"Wanna go up this super dangerous mountain that nopo-?"
"No!"
"Pick you up again?"
"Duh!"
I didn't mind... in the beginning at least. She was happy; we were hanging; what's not to like? Actually no, she wasn't happy; she was something crazy! Sometimes I didn't know who I was seeing when I blasted her through the wind; it was Spike with his gems.
I obviously got annoyed after a while and asked her what's up. She said she wanted flying lessons. "Alright," I said. Those wings weren't the biggest, but I'd be a hypocrite if we didn't try.
I gave them to her. The first day stunk, but whose didn't? Well, except mine. Second day, just as bad. Third, same stuff. Everyday she'd get all pumped up and flap her wings until I was sure she'd pass out. She even did a few times! I thought I was intense, but every time she'd fall she'd try even harder to get back up and just fall again. I'm all for proving the impossible but I could tell that flying just wasn't something she'd be able to do, not with wings like that. At first she ignored what I'd say but as the weeks passed she'd get angry and even yell back. I could see it on her, a look of determination I'd seen in myself, a look that wouldn't take no for an answer. I knew I had to break the truth to her though; her heart would be broken, but I wasn't about to let her kill herself over something that couldn't be done.
Her answer was what I expected. She yelled and cried; I'm still not sure which one hurt the most. I took it; it was what I had to do... for her. Scoots stayed alone in her house a lot after that; wonder what that was about?
I knew she'd still be mad for a few weeks, but once that was over I was ready to start hanging again. The two of us had made this list of things we'd do together, and the coolest stuff was still waiting!
We did the stuff, yeah, but right off the bat I could tell that she wasn't as interested as she should've been. She barely said a word the entire time and just kept on glaring at me. I figured she was still mad so I made sure not to say anything to avoid getting into an another argument, but every time an adventure was done she'd just seem madder at me; her glare just got worse. Because of that I made sure not to look at her as much as I could; that glare, I can still see it like she's right in front of me. It was the only thing that ever made me tremble, the only thing that ever made me feel like a failure. I had failed her.
Now that I think about it, that list was the only thing keeping us together; the moment it ended the less I saw of Scoots; she was always in her house or with her friends. Sometimes days would pass before I'd see her, sometimes months. I was pretty busy too since all the work to get into the Wonderbolts had suddenly turned up to crazy! One day I'd be practicing a trick, another at Twilight's learning Wonderbolt history and then another with Spitfire as her "apprentice." Of course I still made the effort to see Scoots, but she was never around; it was like when I was in one part of Ponyville she was in another no matter where I went. One time I barged into a Crusader meeting but got kicked out by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle for accidently seeing some club imitation ritual thing; Scoots didn't say a word and only gave me that same cursed glare.
Months passed like that, a year maybe, and then... she just disappeared. One morning, completely the same as any other one, everypony crowded around town hall and got news that Scootaloo hadn't been seen for a couple of days. We all searched, every single one of us; for months and months until it was like all we were ever doing was going to some far off place and coming back sadder than when we left. For me it was like my life had just stopped; racing, the Wonderbolts, none of it mattered anymore. Twilight and Mayor Mare called off the search after a year, but they were crazy if they thought I'd give up after just that. I kept going at it for years, until I was ordered by Twilight to stop. Can you believe her mouth; she thought I was going crazy! Yeah, okay pony who went all pyscho over one late report. I did stop though; the rate I was going I was going to forget to eat so I could search some more.
Ponies started to move on, and for years no reason was given for what happened. Then one day a report from Canterlot came in saying that a fillynapper had just been arrested who said that he took Scoots, and of course everypony believed him. I saw right through the horseshit though; there's only one pony that's responsible and that's me! I don't care what any official report says; the only pony you should be sending off to a dungeon is the one I got to live as now.
I remember those eyes, those eyes that couldn't take no for an answer, and I was the pony to say it. From the moment I got her... the privilege to have her as my sister, I filled her head with the fantasies and took them away from her. Instead of trying to find a way for her, something I would've done no doubt for myself... I told her she couldn't be happy, only makes sense I don't deserve to be now. I would've cut off my wings in a second for her if I had the chance, but there's no point in making my own fantasies anymore. I had my shot and the only thing I did is the one thing I can never forgive myself for.
And of course there are other so called "theories" about what happened! According to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, Scoots had gotten over not flying quickly and had issues at home. Nice try guys, but you ain't fooling me! She never had any cuts or bruises or anything; if she was being abused I'm pretty sure somepony would've figured it out. And why wouldn't she have just told me?! I was always by her if she needed anything. So just shut up before you say any other lie.
My friends do comfort me, but that stuff ain't working. Sorry, Pinkie, but a party isn't gonna free me from this, same goes for the rest of you. I'd say I keep my mask on pretty good in front of everypony; look at me flying or just being how I am and I'd look like the first pony who had gotten over it. Here, watching the water drip down into the pool like she almost did, this is the only place where I can really be me, at least the me that I've created. I'm still waiting for her, waiting for her to come back, back to when we first became sisters, back so I can do everything different.
I'll always keep waiting.
Author's Note
Hope you all liked the story 
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