Screwball: Chaos Strikes Back

by Discorded SheepcityUSA

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Adventure, Tragedy, Main 6, Discord, Screwball, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 7153

Discord's hold over Ponyville has been broken. Harmony has returned once again, and the Chaos he created has vanished...save for one of his more beloved creations. Now Screwball is out to create enough Chaos to release her Daddy Discord.

Hiyas! I'm Screwball!

My daddy's kinda unavailable at the moment, on account of him being turned to stone (AGAIN) so it looks like it's up to me to spread enough Chaos to break him out. Might as well start with the jerks that put me on the "Pay No Mind" list by leaving me without my daddy. Ponies always say that revenge is a dish best served cold. If that's the case, I wonder what it tastes like? Ice cream? Popsicles maybe? Guess it's time I found out.

So...ya wanna play?

This is an Ask Fic! Ask questions to Screwball to affect the course that the story will take.

Most of the credit for this story goes to my friend Fluttercord45, for basically starting a majority of it and setting up the main plot, but handed the project over to me.

Published 2014-08-13 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-12 13:48:40 UTC

Anything for Daddy Discord

There was no debate that Equestria was one of the most harmonious places to exist. The crime rate around here was fairly low, and was incredibly peaceful for the most part. Yes, it had its dangers, such as the infamous Everfree Forest, the violent race that were dragons, and the many tyrannous monsters that had attempted hostile takeovers of the peaceful land of Equestria. However, each time these world-ending threats had been stopped by Equestria’s main weapons of defense, The Elements of Harmony.

There was one creature however, that had come closer to defeating the Element Bearers than any other monster they had faced. The personal student of Princess Celestia herself, Twilight Sparkle, and her band of friends that wielded the Elements of Harmony had almost been defeated at the hands of this beast, as their friendship had been put to the greatest test yet; the monster had used his magic, and extreme powers of manipulation to turn the ponies against each other, altering their personalities into grey husks of what they had once been.

Unfortunately for the monster, their friendship had proven to be too powerful to fully destroy, and they used the Elements to trap him in a stone prison as he had once been, and restoring his ugly, chaotic wasteland back into the harmonious kingdom it was meant to be.

Never had the ponies thought that their actions would have such…horrible side effects.

Celestia’s bright, warm sun shined brightly onto the kingdom of her little ponies. It lit the lush, green landscape of Equestria in all its majesty, showing off the natural beauty that the land possessed. The green grass, bright blue sky, and the many fauna and flora that all lived in wonderous harmony. Most ponies had found this place to be the only true way to live…

But for one, it made her sick to her stomach.

“Ugggh. Gag me with a spoon” Screwball groaned as she stood atop the statue in Canterlot’s Gardens, looking over the ponies’ habitat. The statue the little purple filly stood on depicted a creature known as a draconequss. This one specifically was the reality-warping, Spirit of Disharmony known as Discord. His face and body had been turned completely white and frozen in a state of pure terror, still present from his previous defeat at the hooves of the Element Bearers.

And he was also Screwball’s dad.

Screwball’s unusually shaped eyes, purple and endlessly swirling, began to glow the same color. She disappeared in a flash of white light and reappeared on the ground in the same light. Being the very incarnation of Chaos itself, Screwball possessed quite a bit of the same power as her father.

And she was almost as big of a jerk.

“This entire thing is just depressing daddy. For a thousand years, I spent alone after Sunbutt and Lulu imprisoned you. And then after you finally escape, the jerks don’t even bother to show up. I only spent…what? Two days with you, only to lose you again to Little Miss Autism and her band of misfits. Now look at how unimaginably boring they made everything. Ugggggh.” Screwball groaned, leaning her head back with a hoof on her face. It was bad enough that those stupid mares and the Princesses kept imprisoning her daddy and leave her by herself, but they really had to go the extra mile and suck all the fun out of Equestria.

Screwball was going to converse with the statue further, but could hear another pony approaching her position. Screwball didn’t want to raise suspicion of her whereabouts just yet, so she created another flash of light with her magic and turned herself into a bush and placed herself at Discord’s side.

The pony turned out to be a royal guard, checking the gardens for any signs of unwanted guests. He turned his head and observed the area around Discord’s statue, looking for anything suspicious. Seeing nothing but a bush, the guard nodded in approval and turned to leave. Before he did though, Screwball inwardly snickered as used her magic to grow a single vine and used it to block the guard’s path and caused him to trip, landing right on his face.

With an audible groan, the guard got back to his hooves and looked back in the direction of the bush, seeing that it’s vine caused his fall.

“Mmph. Stupid shrub.” He growled before going back about his business and getting out of Screwball’s sight.

Now with no sign of anypony else around, Screwball reverted back to her normal (or as normal as you can get for a Chaos pony) form, floating in the air around her dad’s statue with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

“Did you see that dad? Can’t take a joke even when he thinks it’s coming from a non-sentient being…uuuuuggh. Equestria sucks now.” Screwball pouted while crossing her forelegs.

Screwball hated this situation. Everything about it was as bad as can be. Equestria was a bore, and her dear Daddy Discord had been taken from her for a second time. Part of her was incredibly upset that she wasn’t able to play with her dad anymore, but the other remained her usual, sarcastic and mischievous self. She stayed that way most of the time. It’s what Discord would’ve wanted.

Screwball looked back to her dad’s statue and started to think. She wanted nothing more than to get him out of there so they could go back to having fun again, turning Equestria back into the land of anarchy and disorder it should be.

From what Screwball knew of her and her daddy’s nature, the hold the Elements of Harmony had over Discord was weakened in the presence of pure Chaos and disharmony between ponies. What she didn’t know is what exactly happened to make Discord break out last time, or what ponies were involved, but she figured if she was to get her dad out, she’d have to stir up as much anarchy as she possibly could.

“Say daddy…I’m heading to Ponyville for a little while. Need me to get you anything? Candy? Maybe one of those tacky tourist T-Shirts? Ticket to freedom perhaps?” Screwball asked the statue with her usual grin.

Unfortunately, she received no answer from the God-turned-rock.

“…Right, all of the above. Of course!” Screwball giggled. She reached under her propeller hat, and pulled out a plush toy of Princess Celestia. Grinning like the madpony she was, Screwball tossed it into the air, pulled out a crossbow with an arrow flaming with purple fire from behind her back, and shot it right out of the sky. The now-flaming plushie fell back to the ground, with a singed mane, and the alabaster coat now a soot-black.

The sight made Screwball giggle.

“Enjoy sitting on your fat flank and eating out Equestria’s entire supply of cake and leaving others to do all the grunt-work while you can Sunbutt. Cause once the Element bearers have been taken care of, YOU’LL be the one sitting in the gardens serving as the pigeons’ public bathroom. See how you like it.” Screwball laughed. She then summoned one of her favorite things in the whole world; a cotton candy cloud in another light flash. She hopped on top of it and stood on her hind legs, preparing to ride it like a surfer would a surfboard.

“Don’t worry daddy. You won’t need to stay like that much longer. I’ll spread enough Chaos that it’ll have you out of there in no time! Once that’s done, you and me can get back to the REAL fun…and maybe get you to a chiropractor, because that position you’re in can NOT be good for your back.” Screwball said, gesturing to the current state of Discord’s body. Screwball’s cloud then took off in the direction of Ponyville, leaving a giant trail of pink smoke in its wake…

Now looming in the air above Ponyville from the view of her cloud, Screwball looked down at the small town. Many of the ponies were continuing their usual, mundane routines of which they had become so oblivious as to how boring it truly was.

To say the least, Screwball felt like she was going to be sick.

“Blech! How can anypony live like this?! It’s appalling just how boring and predictable this town is!...Well, won’t they be surprised when they see what I have ready.” Screwball giggled menacingly. She started to rub her chin as she dwelled on her plans for vengeance. Does she take the direct approach and turn everything insane right away? Probably not, considering that when her dad did that, it landed him back in rock-prison. No. First, she’d need to take care of the Element bearers so when Discord was free, nopony would get in the way. Perhaps deceive a few ponies in aiding her in her quest for vengeance? Trickery for her is always an option.

“Hmmm…what to do first? Soooooo many options…”

Author's Note

And thus begins Ask Screwball! This was a project originally started by my friend, Fluttercord45, but the fic was later handed to me to work on. The general storyline is Fluttercord's work, while most of Screwball's dialogue and her attitude is my style of writing for her.

Anyway, this story is an Ask Fic. Talk to Screwball through the comments to aid in her quest for vengeance, Chaos, and Discord's release.

Also, notice the tags. This is mostly a fic that will have those "Feels" moments, but with Screwball's sense of humor, also has a comedy tag.

The Perfect Sucker

From her perch on her cloud, Screwball stared down at the ponies of the small little town, her child-like, chaotic imagination trying to piece together what she could do. Obviously, if she went straight away and started plunging Ponyville into total anarchy, the Element Bearers would catch onto it almost immediately, and then SHE’D be the statue that tourists would end up making fun of in the gardens.

“Hmmm. This is the one downside to being a demi-godess. Too many possibilities.” Screwball said to herself, while idly spinning the propeller on her hat.

Still in her state of thought for revenge scheming, Screwball almost didn’t notice the flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned around slightly to see that in the light’s absence was now a block of text floating not too far from her head.

To Screwballs: Hello Screwball, allow me to present ourself, we are bipedal monkey aliens that don't have anything to do but to talk to random ponies about stupid things and annoy their lifes as a result, and we are happy to announced that you has been chosen as our next vic.. pony friend, we will be accompany you averywhere at anytime until we get bore, or the author does, what can you expect from us? mmmm... not much really, we may tell you some secrets or predictions from time to time, there a lot of things about Ponyville and Equestria that we can tell you, anything that can help you really, or not, anyway, please take care of us, and we might take care of you.

P.S. Everypony can see us too, you are just our principal pony, be carefull what you say to us and where you are, we will appear out of nowhere regadless who may be with you and accidentally blow your cover, but I think we can works something out.

Screwball cocked an eyebrow.

“Well well well. It seems that I’ve attracted the attention of interdimensional beings that wish to aid in my revenge quest huh? Well, you’d better know what you’re doing, cause I’ll need as much Chaos as possible if I wanna get daddy out of that statue.” Screwball responded to the block. Upon answering it, the text disappeared in another flash of bright light.

“Hehehe. This should be quite fun shouldn’t it? I’m pretty sure there are those of you that have many of the same, demented thoughts that I have, so go on. Shoot. Help a filly out here.” Screwball said to the beings watching her.

As if on cue, another flash of light occurred, and another text box was in its place.

Hello Screwball... I was wondering if I gave you this Medusa whip how would you use it?
(Note it can turn things struck to stone temporarily)

Accompanying the text box in the same light, a strange whip had appeared and landed on the cloud in front of her. Screwball eyed the weapon curiously and began to think of the possibilities. Of course, the most enticing thing in her twisted little mind was thinking of Celestia being turned into her new lawn ornament. Just the thought made her unnaturally giddy.

“Hehehe. I think you know very well what I’ll do with this.” Screwball giggled, taking the weapon and sticking the entire thing under her hat.

To Screwy yes I am going to call you that, but that's beside the point we are magical all powerful beings that control your fate. since we can't directly interact with your world you well do our dirty work. I suggest you take out the element of magic first she is the most powerful of them. now go free discord he is so funny and I want him back.

“Ah yes. Sparkle-Butt. The most elusive and strongest one of the bunch…and the dullest. Besides ol’ Celly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger stick in the mud…how much are any of you willing to bet that she just might be some sort of failed clone of Sunbutt? The way I see it, nopony can naturally be that boring.” Screwball said, all the while chucking darts at a dartboard that just so happened to have Twilight’s face on it.

Wouldn't spreading chaos be a moot point? it only relese discord because the spell luna and celestia had on him weakened because of the elemetns changing hooves. not only that but the spell on him now is far more powerful than the one before, cause it even reversed his chaos at the same time, which even the regal sisters could not do.
Speaking of them, wouldn't doing anyhting at all to the mane six simply draw theri attention? they would come and beat you up.. or kill you if you actually hurt somepony.

“Okay first of all…Spelling. Learn to do it. Second, Celestia? Hurt ME? PFFFFHAHAHAHAHA!...Oh…you’re serious…Let me ask you this buddy, if Celestia is SOOO incredibly capable of hurting me and dad, then what was stopping her from taking us out BEFORE she got the dues ex-machina of plot devices, AKA the Elements of Harmony? In short terms, Celly can’t catch this!” Screwball said, pointing to her flank and laughing. Afterwards, she reached up, and swiped the box out of the air. She stuffed the entire thing into her mouth and started to chew it like bubblegum.

“Mmph. And third, I think I know a little more about the only-mmph- artifacts in Equestria that have the potential to stop me than you do, so quit being-mmphy-condescending and freaking let me do what I was made to do here.” She said with her mouth full. Screwball started to blow incredibly hard and a large, blue bubble started to form out of her mouth. Once it reached to about the size of a manticore, the bubble decided it couldn’t take it anymore and popped. When it did though, instead of making a natural “Pop” sound, it let out an extremely high pitched screech, which sounded similar to what a monkey in agonizing pain would sound like.

“…Oh I’m sorry. Did I bust your eardrums? I Didn’t mean to do that…much.” Screwball said, her swirled pupils looking from side to side with a smug grin on her mouth.

Hello there, Screwball.

Oh, who am I? Just one of the many voices in your head. I, and the rest of your fellow voices, are here to help you free your equally crazy dad. Or try to, at least, as long as Sunbutt doesn't catch on to us. But, we're getting off-topic.

The Elements will be a constant threat, along with little miss Dimlight's friendship lessons.

How do you plan to deal with that while also spreading sweet and lovely chaos?

If I may make one suggestion, perhaps you could convince the ponies of Cloudsdale that their weather factory has a dark little secret involving the creation of rainbows...

That would surely create some madness.

Good luck, you insane little filly, we're here in the back of your wonderfully twisted brain, ready to offer guidance when needed.

Until then,

"Alright other voices, who wants to play poker while we wait?"
(All of them.) "Me!"

Screwball :so screwball, what plans do you have for the mane 6?

Screwball turned her attention back to the town below her and got back into her thinking mood. Her instincts were screaming at her to bring down the hammer on Ponyville right then and there. Maybe finding some of the local animals and fusing them together into aggressive, horrendous-looking freaks of nature could be fun.

Who wouldn’t want to see a shark head on a bear’s body? That’d be awesome!

“Alas, I can’t go to those lengths just yet. If just ONE of those stupid mares catches wind of what I am, I’m screwed. I’ll need to corrupt the Element Bearers before I try ANYTHING. The question is, how do I go about it? Hmmmm…”

To Screwball: Why don't you try to do something chaotic against your own nature? If you act through subtlety and deception wouldn't you be being chaotic against your own nature, which is to do things in the most loudly chaotic way possible? What I mean is that if you subtly plan your way to the top wouldn't that be chaotic?

“Subtlety?...Acting chaotic against my own nature through deception…Yessss. Chaos isn’t just black and white. There’s a lot of different kinds of Chaos. Little chaos, big chaos, good ol’ mortal chaos… Seems like you’re asking that I perhaps ~~trick~~ convince some unwitting pony onto my side. Now…who would be the proper turkey hmmmmm?” Screwball said to herself. Reaching under her hat again, taking a telescope out from under it, putting it up to her face, and searching Ponyville for a somepony that would make a decent minion.

The first two ponies she spotted were two mares, one a unicorn with an electric blue mane and purple shades, and the other appeared to be a grey earth pony wearing a bow tie. From what Screwball observed, they appeared to be arguing over the other’s taste in music.

“And I’m telling you Vinyl! That uncelestialy mess of sound you call dubstep simply can’t compare to classical!”

“At least I can handle the tracks on my own and don’t need an entire orchestra of ponies backing me up for my music to sound good!”

“You take that back right now!”

“Why don’t you make me?!”

Both ponies in their rage lunged towards each other and started to repeatedly punch their opponent. Octavia had to resort to mane-pulling on quite a few occasions, and as it turns out, Vinyl was a biter. The struggle got to the point where the ponies were barely visible in the cloud of dust they had kicked up in their struggle.

Screwball’s grin grew ever wider at the sight of the disharmony between these two. Watching the entire thing unfold was pretty hilarious.

“Well, the Unicorn looks like she has the mindset of your average high school dropout, and the Earth Pony gets…eh…third place for the “Biggest stuck up your ass” award…meh. Next.” Screwball said, aiming her telescope in a different direction, this time seeing a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane, and a cutie-mark of a flurry of bubbles. While said mare was mid-flight, a bird passed idly by her, prompting her to turn her head towards it.

“Oh, hello birdi-oof!” the Pegasus didn’t even see the lamp post that was almost right in front of her crossed eyes as she had slammed into it at full force. The impact of her body colliding with the lamp post was so powerful that it made the entire thing fall over and smash a vendor’s cart below.

“MY CABBAGES!!!” The vendor pony to whom the cart belonged screamed in agony.

“Oops. Sorry Mister!” the Pegasus mare apologized with a sheepish grin.

Screwball took her eyes off this pony for one moment to consider.

“Destructive and stupid. Quite a dangerous combination. And here I thought Ponyville WASN’T filled to the brim with Chaos. Celly sure has been slacking off on keeping her subjects in check.” Screwball said to herself.

Screwball, Have you think about get allies? I think three little fillies in Ponyville could help you to do a little chaos until your daddy is back, and there could be other beings out there that hate Princess Celestia, Your daddy was six versus one after all and that is unfair

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CLIFF JUMPERS!”

That certainly caught Screwball’s attention. She turned her telescope into the direction of the cheerful yelling and spotted a large lake with a humongous cliff sitting above it, where three fillies were standing at the top, wearing goggles on their foreheads as well as snorkels.

“We’re sure to get our Cutie Marks for this! It’s too awesome not to work!” The orange Pegasus of the group declared.

“Ah hope so. Cause, if Ah end up in the hospital and Ah STILL don’t have mah Cutie Mark, Ah’m totally blamin’ you Scoots.” Another one, an Earth Pony filly with a yellow coat, red mane, and a pink bow said back to the Pegasus.

“Then don’t get hurt.” Scootaloo said with a slight chuckle.

“Because that’s soooo easy in a stunt like this.” The white unicorn of the group said.

Scootaloo put her hoof to her face and sighed in an annoyed manner.

“Bloom. Belle. Relax. I’ve seen Rainbow Dash do this plenty of times. It’s perfectly safe” Scootaloo assured her friends.

Screwball took the telescope off her eyes and blinked once.

“…These three are PERFECT. Not only are they out of their minds, but they have ‘Gullible’ written all over their faces. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure those three are in relation to three of the Element Bearers. They just have that sort of…’look’ about them.” Screwball said to herself. She flipped her telescope into the air and in a flash of white light, it had changed into the shape of a small bird that had the wings of a bat and flew off into the skies of Ponyville.

“Alright. I’m getting those three on my side. Hehehehe. Let’s see how well this goes.” Screwball giggled as she kicked her cotton candy cloud with her hind hoof, causing it to propel forward into the direction of Ponyville’s lake to do some ~~deceiving~~ convincing.

Author's Note

Apologies to anypony who didn't have a question answered. If I DID use everyone's questions, this story would be a clustered mess. Even though it is a story about a pony that doesn't make sense, the story still needs to have some form of structure.

Anyway, questions to the CMC are open now, as well as Screwball. Perhaps talk the the CMC about Screwball, seeing as they will be meeting next chapter. Or whatever. I kinda work around whatever is asked.

Anyway, keep asking everypony. :D

...Trustworthy???

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

One by one, the Crusaders had dived from the cliff into the water below. Having made their successful jumps, they all popped their little heads out of the water, taking a deep breath of air. Unfortunately, they had not thought the entire act of diving through, specifically their time of doing so.

Winter Wrap-up had just concluded not too long ago. The lake had only just gotten warm enough to thaw out, although the water was still not quite at “Spring-level warm” just yet.

So what does that leave our heroines diving into?

About twelve degrees.

Coldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcold!” Sweetie Belle whined as she held onto her torso with her forelegs, slightly shivering at the temperature of the water.

Scootaloo had noticeably not taken much liking to the cold water either, as her teeth were chattering and her wings appeared to have been frozen in place.

“Y-Yeah. P-Probably not one of my better ideas. Probably should have c-checked the water first. B-But at least we didn’t get hurt this time!” Scootaloo said through her chattering.

“I-I wouldn’t exactly c-consider t-this a better substitute Scoots…D-Did we at least get our Cutie-Marks?” Applebloom asked.

In response, all three fillies brought their flanks out of the water to check on their progress. Unfortunately, the results were the same as the last few hundred attempts at getting their Cutie-Marks.

They were all still blank flanks.

“…Nope.” Scootaloo sighed.

“Still nothing.” Sweetie Belle responded.

“Same here” Applebloom said.

All three fillies sighed in defeat. They try harder than most fillies and colts have the attention span for in getting their Cutie-Marks, and yet while nearly everypony in their class had their mark already, these three were becoming quite despondent in the fact that they were still remained markless.

Eager to get out of the freezing water, Sweetie Belle was the first to dog-paddle her way to shore and climb her way out.

“Well there goes attempt number…uhhh, where are we at on crusades for today Applebloom?” she asked the yellow filly, who followed suit in getting out of the water, Scootaloo coming right after her.

“17… Ah’ll tell ya’ll what, this is gettin’ pretty ridiculous. We’ve tried nearly everything under the sun to get our Cutie-Marks, an’ we still come up short. Ah’ don’ get what we’re doin’ wrong.” Applebloom whined as she dried herself off by shaking her entire body in a similar manner of a dog.

“Yeah neither do I. You’d think with all the stuff we’ve done, we would’ve gotten them by now.” Scootaloo griped.

Sweetie Belle was about to involve her inevitable complaint about how she too still had no Cutie-Mark, when without any warning, a bright flash of light appeared in the air above the fillies, it’s brightness intensifying with each passing second.

“Agggh! What is THAT?!” Sweetie Belle yelled, holding a hoof to her forehead, trying to shield her eyes from the intense light.

The light started to let up after a few seconds, and in its place were the following words…

(To the CMC) Watch out, somepony's about to drop in on you! She's nice, though!

Applebloom was the first to question this…whatever it was’ motives into appearing and asking this of them.

“…What? Ah don’ see anypony else here but u-“

“They mean me, junior.” Applebloom had been interrupted by the sound of another pony’s voice. The fillies all turned their heads to under a nearby tree, where they saw a pony that none of them recognized sprawled out on a lawn chair wearing sunglasses, blocking out any view of her eyes. The unusual, purple filly was also holding a glass of chocolate milk in her hooves, and was sipping it through a crazy straw.

“Whoawhoawhoa! How long have you been there?!” Scootaloo asked. She had been pretty sure she didn’t see anypony else around only a few moments ago, and now all of a sudden, here was this filly sitting here as if she’d been doing so for hours.

“Oh, long enough to see your rather hilarious misfortune. The looks on your faces when you hit that freezing water. That stuff was GOLD!” Screwball snickered.

The Crusaders had taken enough verbal abuse from a certain pink filly and her minion at school to know when they were being laughed at, and they didn’t like it in the slightest; from Diamond Tiara, or anypony else.

“That wasn’t funny! We could’ve gotton hypo…hypo…uhhh” Applebloom stumbled over her words.

“Hypothermia.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh, thanks Sweetie. An’ what kinda’ pony laughs at other ponies’ getting’ hurt?!” Applebloom asked with a raised voice.

Screwball stood up and raised her hooves defensively in the air.

“Alright, normally around this time I’d make some sort of snarky retort like, ‘Somepony with a good sense of humor’, but starting trouble’s not what I’m here for...Name's Screwball, thank you oh so very much for asking.” Screwball said sarcastically

The Crusaders slightly lowered their guard, but not completely. The filly said she wasn’t meaning to bring them any harm, but she sure wasn’t acting like it. That smile she had on her face stretched nearly a half-mile long, and it looked like it was for all the wrong reasons.

“Well, what DO you want then?” Scootaloo asked.

Screwball got out of her seat and instead of trotting like a normal pony would do, she appeared to SLITHER in the Crusader’s direction, and popped up in-between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, taking off her sunglasses, which revealed her swirling, purple eyes. Just the sight of those orbs made them flinch back in surprise and fright.

‘Oh mah gosh, what’s wrong with her eyes?!?!' Applebloom thought to herself.

“Well, I just happened to overhear your conversation regarding your Cutie-Marks…or lack thereof…” Screwball said pointing too Sweetie Belle’s markless flank, making her face turn red from embarrassment.

“It got me thinking, ‘Here’s a determined group of fillies. Ponies that go to any lengths to get what they want…no matter how nuts and irrational the plan may be. Jacks of all trades, but masters of none.’”

“Okay, can you just get to the point already?” Scootaloo asked.

A displeasured frown crossed Screwball’s features.

“Sheesh. Try to get a point across in an overly-complicated manner today and everyone just wants you to shut up. I feel like I’m getting the politician treatment.”

Hello from the voices in your head again,
Allies are always a good thing, Screwball; and these three fillies seem perfect.
They appear to be willing to do almost anything to get their cutie marks.
Perhaps you can use this to your advantage...?

Well, if you're going to get the CMC the question is, how? Are you going for the "I'm also a filly without a cutie mark and I think that this chaotic thing is a good idea" or the "I have the perfect way to get your cutie-mark". I personally think you should go the first option because you would have a thing you wouldn't have with the second. Their trust. If you go with my suggested option, than you should probably take a lot of time to build up their trust. I have seen too many similar plans ruined to know that that the infiltrator usually starts the plan too early, and gets found out because the didn't trust him/her enough.

“Seeing as how you girls seem so intent on getting your Cutie-Marks, I was hoping that I could be of some assistance. Cause…well...just look.” Before any of the Crusaders could question what that meant, Screwball turned around and blatantly waved her flank in their faces.

“Uhhh, do you min….wait, you don’t have your Cutie-Mark either?” Sweetie Belle asked. The other two had also taken notice of Sweetie’s observation. Screwball’s flank was indeed, completely blank, sans the baseball/screw mark that was usually emblazoned there.

“Unfortunately, that’s the case. I’ve suffered many an insult because of my lack of a butt-picture. It’s my only shame.” Screwball said, lowering her head. She hoped this was act was convincing enough. She was normally used to feigning despair in a sarcastic manner and not having to act legit sad. That came across to her as more difficult than hiding her Cutie-Mark with her magic. That wasn’t a problem.

The three fillies exchanged a few nervous looks. They did start to feel sorry for Screwball. Heck, they felt for ANYONE that had to go through the same pain and frustration that came with being a blank flank. But something about Screwball seemed…off.

“…Girls. Huddle.” Applebloom said to her friends, who all then proceeded to get into huddle formation, whispering to each other.

“Alright, I’m gonna say what we’re all thinking…that filly kinda creeps me out.” Scootaloo said.

“But you heard her! The poor pony is in the same boat as us! She’s been made fun of for not having a Cutie-Mark just like we were. Besides, we can’t just tell her to go away when she came to us for help, can we?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Sweetie Belle’s got a point Scoots. It just wouldn’t be right for us ta just turn er’ away.” Applebloom said.

“And think of it this way. From the looks of it, she’s a little…eccentric. So maybe she can think of all sorts of ways to get our Cutie-Marks that we’d probably never think of. Everypony wins!” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“Well…if you guys think she can be trusted, then I guess I can too.” Scootaloo said. All three fillies nodded in mutual agreement and turned back to face the still forlorn-looking Screwball, who had at this point was just dragging herself across the ground with her face pressed against it.

“Ummm, Screwball was it?” Applebloom asked.

Screwball immediately stopped moving and her ears sprung back up.

“Yeeeeeessss?~” Screwball drew out the word as long as possible with an ever-present smile growing onto her face.

‘Oh jeez, that smile again. I can’t get over how creepy it is.’ Scootaloo thought.

“Well…we were talking… and we’re inviting you to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” Sweetie Belle said.

Screwball’s Cheshire Cat smile grew from ear to ear. She bound up to her hind legs and grabbed hold of the entire group in a death grip that would rival Pinkie Pie’s.

“Oh goodie! I just know we’re gonna have soooo much fun together!” Screwball laughed.

“S-Screwball…we need…air.” Applebloom gagged.

Seeing as how the fillies were starting to turn blue, and that Screwball didn’t want to kill off her new allies before any her plan was fully set in motion, she released them from her forelegs and dropped them back to the ground, gasping for air.

“I feel that you didn’t enjoy that hug as much as I did, Applebloom.”

Still recovering from Screwball’s “Hug of Suffering”, Applebloom looked at Screwball, confused.

“Ah…don’t remember… tellin’ ya mah name.” Applebloom said.

Screwball put a hoof on her chin and looked innocently away.

“Oh dear. I’m NOT supposed to eavesdrop then? Well that’s no fun.” Screwball said.

The Crusaders facehoofed at what they thought their new friend should have found obvious.

“Wooooooow.” Scootaloo groaned

Author's Note

Screwball is attempting to gain the trust of the CMC. Even though she's disguised her Cutie-Mark and managed to join their ranks, she hasn't quite come across as...too genuine.

Also, there are some questions I want to go over that have been posted in the comments of previous chapters, but just didn't fit here. I'll see what I can do with those next chapter.

Anyway, keep em' comin'. :D

New Plans

“So ummm…where do ya live Screwball?” Applebloom asked the Crusader’s strange new friend as they trotted through the streets of Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres, where Screwball could only assume was where they normally operated.

“Hmmm…I suppose you could say that I live everywhere and nowhere.” Screwball giggled as she trotted in front of the Crusaders…walking backwards.

“Wait, you’re homeless?!” Sweetie Belles squeaked in shock.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Screwball said with a tilted head.

“It IS a bad thing Screwball! I’ve been homeless before, and it really isn’t fun.” Scootaloo said.

Screwball certainly hadn’t expected that. How would this filly know anything about that?

“Wait, YOU? You’ve lived on the streets? Do tell.”

Scootaloo’s face, as well as the rest of the Crusader’s, all of a sudden looked a little uncomfortable. They all had been aware of Scootaloo’s life situation before she moved in with Rainbow Dash, and none of them wanted to bring that back up in front of her again.

“Uhhh…that’s kinda personal Screwball. I don’t think I feel very comfortable telling my life story to somepony I barely know.” Scootaloo said with an uneasy look on her face.

Screwball scrunched up her face into some sort of face that none of the Crusaders could label as legitimately angry, or just some sort of grumpy pout.

“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Screwball grumbled, crossing her arms.

Don't hurt them screwy, they did cause enough chaos by your fathers statue to cause the spell to crack, also can't you just throw the elements into a volcano or something?

All of the Crusader’s ears perked up at the sound of the textbox appearing behind them and it opted them to turn around. Luckily, Screwball picked up on the sound, grabbed onto the bubbled and held it behind her back, wearing a sheepish smile.

“Ummm…Did ya hear somethin’ Screwy?” Applebloom asked curiously.

“I honestly have no clue what you’re talking about.” Screwball responded, rolling her eyes, hopefully to throw off the Crusader’s suspiciousness. All three of the Cruasders looked at each other with raised eyebrows and slight frowns.

“Ummm…Alright.” Scootaloo said. She jerked her head back towards the direction they were trotting to their clubhouse. The other Crusaders nodded and followed her there as she trotted forward. Screwball stayed behind for a moment though, and let out a sigh of relief.

“Phew…Nice going guys. You almost blew my cover. You’re acting like you WANT me to get caught.” Screwball scolded with her hooves on her hips and facing the readers. After letting out another annoyed groan, Screwball took the question out from behind her back and gave it another look.

“Pfffft, trust me. I’m not gonna hurt my hired help. And also…” After looking at the question again, she let out another annoyed groan. “I WISH it were that easy. The Elements are pretty much indestructible as long as the bearer’s spirits are intact. Nightmare Moon already tried just smashing the dumb things remember?” Screwball said, putting a hoof to her forehead in annoyance. She took it off after a moment when she seemed to come to a realization. “…Waaaaait…how do I know that? I wasn’t in that episode…as a matter of fact, I was only in one for a few seconds…wow that’s sad, even by background pony standards.” Screwball said to herself.

Congratulations for finding the Crusaders, if you win their friendship you could have a "free pass to get out of jail/stone" after all, they are the sisters of a couple of Element bearers and they could not like if "their friend" is transformed in a statue.

Screwball smirked a little and evily rubbed her hooves together. “Oh, the benefits of having devoted, chaotic, and overly gullible friends~” She snickered.

Hey, screwy, why don't you try to have them fight in front of discord's statue again, that worked the first time...

“It’s a good plan indeed…Buuuut, that plan is not ready to be put into motion juuuuust yet. Elements are still “wholesome” and all that harmonious junk.”

Screwball: Now that you have the CMC as your allies, you should totally use them against their idols! How, you ask? By telling the truth, of course! Especially to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo! Why, you are probably wondering by this point, is that a good idea? Because Apple Bloom has lost her parents, and with the many fanfictions out there that have Scootaloo being an orphan, it's a pretty safe bet that she is one! So, you'll gain their sympathy, as well as their trust, a lot faster than if you continued to lie to them!

“…Woooow. That is some very underhanded, and very evil thinking…I love you guys so much.” Screwball said with a big smile, now hugging the textbox to the point where the bubble popped and appeared to deflate in Screwball’s hooves. “…Awwww.” Screwball sighed. “The plans are good and all guys, but I really would appreciate a hug back sometimes…but you guys are incapable of doing that…Nnngh.” Screwball said, her face starting to look a little sad and she started to whimper a little.

To ScrewBall: Ok, now that you have tricked them into joining their little shit of a club by making them believe that you don't have a cutie mark when in fact you are Discord's Daughter, you have access to Ponyville, access to their families who are the bearers that you hate so much, and as a result, their houses, you can then spy on them, put some dark evil magical artifact to know their every move, and mind control rape them (I strongly suggest you do that to spike, Twilight's dragon slave pet that AppleBloom love so much, you know, the one that writes and sends letters to Sunbutt, it’s a good idea to control and manipulate the information that your enemies have), and then.......... the crusaders I reading this aren't they?, or well, my bad, just erase their minds and it will be good, no problem, and put some secret magical abilitis in them while you are at it, the chaos will be doubled.

Screwball looked up at the question and came out of her slightly upset state, only to switch to a slightly confused “Wait. Dragon slave? What’re you guys talking ab-“ Screwball stopped midsentence when she saw something in the distance; the exact thing that the textboxes mentioned. It appeared to be was a very small purple, reptilian creature walking down the street, licking an ice-cream cone several times over and smiling big.

“Ooooh boy. I can’t believe Pinkie managed to get me emerald-flavored ice cream!” he said to himself, continuing to lick his treat.

To say the least, Screwball was on the verge of laughing her head off at the sight of this creature. It was so unbelievably short and ridiculous-looking. It didn’t even have wings. In Screwball’s eyes this thing could barely even be considered a dragon.

“PFFFFT, THIS is the all-powerful Twilight Sparkle’s assistant? I seeeeriously think she needs to reevaluate her choices in minions.” Screwball giggled. “Anywho, if this guy is close to Twilight, it probably would be a good idea to get a little-

Also... Is true that your eyes are hypnotic or is that false?

Screwball had an ever-growing smirk on her face at the thought of her new plan, and her purple eyes started to swirl and glow in preparation.

“-Chaotic~” Screwball giggled to herself.

Author's Note

Oh look, an update. :twilightsheepish: So basically, other projects got in the way more than anything. Real-life stuff also played a pretty big factor, but still. Sorry about the long wait. Hopefully won't take as long next time.

Anywho, look at that. Screwball seems a little sad that she's kind of alone. Awwww...

Not gonna stop her from being chaotic-evil though. At least not now. :derpytongue2:

Anywho, continue to ask questions pleaaase~