Ponies hang out, randomness ensues.

Chapters

Suddenly tired.
Octopus hair, part one.

Suddenly tired.

Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle of Golden Oaks library of Ponyville of Equestria suddenly feels tired.

'I suddenly feel tired.' Twilight says, peaking up from reading a book with her friends nearby.

See.

A cyan pegasus totally flies up to her. 'Twilight its because you prolly stayed up all night reading, again. Books are so not good for you.'

Twilight desperately attempts to roll her eyes without falling asleep, and stifles a yawn. '.. Well I guess you do have a point. A- eeeeeyaaauuuuhhhhhuh- an average pony gets about seven hours of sleep when they ought to get nine. I- yeauhhhhhhawnnn- think in the study the parents bring down the average quite a bit. Babies keeping them up and all. Then I get even less than the average because I study so much.'

'I don' know 'bout books tirin' a pony out n all. But sleep is a might bit important. Remember when I overworked myself actin' all weird n stuff? Because I don't- sleep deprivation causes memory loss! You told me yourself this, Twi'.' Pinkie Pie holds up a sign that says if you don't know who this pony speaking is you should be ashamed of yourself.

Random pony in Equestria looks down ashamedly.

'I-eyyuahuuhauhauhooha- did?'

The cyan colored pegasus speaks again, in English- not Equestrian. 'Twilight do you even remember what we are supposed to be doing today?'

'Uhhhhhhmmm..'

A yellow one who is capable of wing-boners responds. 'Oh~ Twilight you should take better care of yourself..'

'Um, excuse me, but who are you ponies?'

Pinkie the 4th wall slayer pie says. 'Oh snap! That wasn't a random pony! That was Twilight!'

Vinyl plays a soundboard in the corner. *Ba dum ts!*

'Ba dum ts! I love the way it sounds!' Everypony stares at Pinkie, except Twilight who falls asleep collapsing onto the floor.

You awaken as Twilight Sparkle and can vaguely hear Nurse Redheart conversing with somepony.

'NO! Gummy will not aid in the recovery process!' Sound of a deflating Pink mane can be heard.

'I can walk again!' You begin walking around as Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria. Just you happen to be Xavier and you recently had your body blown apart from Phoenix herself.

Nurse Redheart busts through the door. 'Impossible! You were just in a coma! You shouldn't be awake!'

'Improbable!- Somewhat like my situation, talking ponies, what are the odds.. Oops I didn't mean to say that out loud, perhaps the nature of this place makes ones inhibitions simply, melt away!' You as Professor Charles Francis Xavier of Dr Xavier's School of Gifted Youngsters of Westchester county, of New York, of The United States of America, of Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle of the recovery wing of Ponyville's general hospital of Ponyville of Equestria, 'Begin glowing in a glowing purple radiance the likes of which have never been seen before! Floating slowly and pleasantly, going to soar into the sky-' Window is slammed shut in-

'Your face!', by Fluttershy. 'You really ought to get your bed rest.. I mean.. If that would be alright..'

'Oh my dear Fluttershy, I am sorry for intruding on the hospital's' You giggle. 'Hospitality' Ba dum ts. Vinyl waves. 'But I feel it is pertinent I stretch these sexy legs of mine. Hmph! So sexy~. Oops I mean. I have not been able to walk for years. Pity me and give me my way like your minds suggest you will do.' Everyone stares. 'Erm, I mean.. If that would be alright..'

Rainbow Dash stares at you. Then turns to Rarity 'How come he knows who we are?'

'Twilight or whoever- you got some 'splainin to do! From 'nother dimension?'

'Indeed.'

'One without ponies?'

'Indubitably.'

'You entered Twilight Sparkle of Golden Oaks library of Ponyville of Equestria's body from being decin'egrated jus' moments before?'

'Affirmative.'

'You can mind read us?'

'Certainly.'

'You can't walk?'

'Now I can!'

'And you think entirely out o' character and sometimes narrate yerself in yer own mind?'

'Eeyup.'

'And ye' were bald?'

'That hurts, Applejack.'

'Sorry.'

Pinkie Pie prods your shoulder. 'What happens in Days of Future Past?!'

'Oh Pinkamena Diane Pie, you know I'm not at liberty to say that.' Her mane deflates again, this time with the sound of a whoopee cushion.

'Oh, Ms Redheart, might it be fine if I take a walk? I understand you have a job to do, but surely my vitals are normal?'

'It would appear they are. But..'

'I assure you madame nothing strange will occur while I am out of your care.'

'Well.. Alright. You may need to come back in a few days for another check up on this event to see if you are still doing fine. I will get the discharge papers filled out.' Rainbow Dash snickers. Rarity glares at Dash.

'Pardon me madames' Professor Charles Francis Xavier of-

'You can stop that now you know! I am sure the readers don't appreciate it!' Everypony stares at Pinkie Pie. She grits her teeth furious and walks outside muttering to herself.

'..4th wall inferiors..' She walks into Vinyl's corner and orders a drink. Vinyl is confused, gets a fuming Pinkie a drink anyways and cranks up the music. She hopes Pinkie doesn't start binge drinking the cider. Her cider! She saved it up too. Vinyl shows an expression of deep defeat. Where is this anyways?

'Ah it feels relieving to finally walk on all fours again!- I mean!- To finally walk again.. yes..'

The mane 5 walk through Ponyville at a refreshing pace, their sights set upon some hills and a tree in the distance where they occasionally picnic.

'The memories this brings back.'

'..Um.. What kind of memories?.. If you don't mind my asking?'

Rarity speaks up as well. 'I am curious as well. You are a stranger in our friend's body after all. Not that you are ungentlemanly or anything of the sort.'

'Ah'm plum curious myself.'

'Well if you all insist. I on another planet, from another realm or dimension, am a hominid bipedal species with hands, much like the griffins or Diamond dog's versatile claws, only more useless in combat and hunting, and more agile. It has been many years since I could walk. And I have not walked around on all fours for even longer. When I was a toddler and first developing my unique ability of mind reading- telepathy- I was in a day care of which there was an unusual amount of babies crawling around or crying. I was heavily influenced from their behaviors, and started gaining existential crises from their lack of parental cuddles. So needless to say I was crawling around doing my best impersonation of everyone near me at the same time, and collapsed on the ground drowning in my own spittle.'

'Oh my.'

'It was later on in the day that- Oh would you look at this marvelous tree! Why it reminds me of the time whe-' You collapse on the ground passing out.

Somewhere in a metaphysical plane of the psyche:

'Get out of my head you bald psycho!'

A floating Charles Xavier in an M. Bison outfit floats menacingly overhead. 'With my psycho-power I will never die! I can possess those whose bodies I enter after my forms are destroyed! In this Xander zone I remain an unstoppable force who can control space-time itself, with a technique known as Tsukuyomi! You will fall to my psycho power!'

'I don't know what any of that is but don't think you can take me without a fight!' Twilight growls.

'Your resistance is futile, but irritating, I mean look, I collapsed down now. And what better person to take over other than one whose destiny is to control all of the magic within the realms. You are possibly destined to be the most powerful being in existence, and I will have you under my control!'

Twilight makes a thoughtful or confused face 'But if I am destined to be so powerful wouldn't fighting me be worthless? It would mean I am destined to win!'

'Not likely, there is no way for your friends to interfere in here, and I will weaken your mind with Tsukuyomi!'

'There you go monologuing again, you know if you explain everything to me its going to be so much easier to defeat you.'

Xavier Bison Charles appears to be deep in thought, then sadness etches into his vile face. 'Truth is I have been wandering soul to soul for countless aeons friendless in my nature!' His eyes produce manly tears. 'You are the key to compassion! I can finally find true happiness instead of wandering planes of existence ignored for the rest of eternity!'

'Well, you know, you could just ask for a pony body to be made for yourself by myself or the other Princess' selves, you have no reason to fret!'

'Truely?'

'Truely.'

A massive crack appears in the Xander zone's fabric itself. Something Pink crashes through pulling a modified party cannon.

'Party cannon has been upgraded to level four: can now fire bass cannon ammo!'

'NOOO NOT THE WUBS!'

Pinkie Pie fires Pink and Blue wubs at M. Bison formerly known as Professor Charles Francis Xavier of Dr Xaviers school for the gifted of Westchester of New York of the United states of Earth, of the Xander zone, of Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle's mind, of Equestria gets blasted into oblivion, leaving behind the smell of two types of bubblegum.

Twilight breaks down into tears. 'Pinkie what have you done!? You just killed somepony!'

'Correction, I killed somebody, he wasn't even a pony anyways. But what I have done is get drunk with Vinyl because thats when I can invent s#!t and get really hardcore, and Vinyl was all like I KNOW you can upgrade it to level four with my broken amplifiers and s#!t.' Yes, it was bleeped.

'So I was like rock on dude! And she was all like don't mention it! But I noticed she was always hiding behind her sunglasses so I tried to look at her eyes through them then noticed she was blushing. So I thought maybe I could kiss her, you know, some fan-service wouldn't kill this series!'

'What are you even talking about!?'

Vinyl blushes in the corner visible from the split in the dimensions rubbing the back of her head. 'And so I went and kissed her full on the lips! She tasted like a dry blueberry alcoholic beverage with cream! It was amazing.'

Meanwhile in Equestria. Twilight clutches her head in agony.

'PINKIE WON'T SHUT UP!'

Rarity speaks somewhat offended and startled. 'Well we all know she can be difficult but that was just plain rude!'

Twilight stops writhing around, and catches her breath, looking slightly manic. 'Oh it stopped, Thank goodness it stopped! hehehehehe.' She says stroking her mane going cross eyed.

Pinkie Pie falls out of the sky with Vinyl dressed in what can only be described as a disco styled jump suit of blue and yellow, and wearing sunglasses, firing off Pinkie bass and bass cannon respectively into the sky capturing Ponyville's resident's attention and bringing everypony around.

'Saved the day again!' Crowd cheers and applauds and whistles. Vinyl and Pinkie land side by side and bump hooves several times and pose arms folded leaning on each other symmetrically facing away from each other.

Twilight is crazy furious. 'I HAVE BUCKING HAD E-BUCKING-NOUGH TODAY! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS BUCKING NOISE CELESTIA DAMN IT!' All the ponies of the audience gasp and cover little foal's ears.

It doesn't take long for her to be re-emitted into the hospital.

'Twilight be a dear and get some well needed rest.'

Twilight in a straight jacket responds agitatedly with a sigh. 'Not like I have much choice..' She also has something rubber over her horn, it being an insulator probably explains why it would stop magic from being performed.

Spike walks into the room with some balloons and a get well card. 'Heya Twilight- What's with the condom?' He bursts into a fit of laughter.

'Its a magic deterrent!'

Rarity speaks up. 'Well it is technically a condom dear, you of all people should know as you have a horn.'

'Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that. He is too young.'

'Well.. Thing about that is.. Um, me and Spike have been seeing each other'

'Oh Celestia no.. I mean, Good, for you guys..' She goes cross eyed very briefly.

Awkward silence then Dash speaks up. 'So, why do horns need a condom anyways?'

Rarity remains silent for a moment, then speaks up so Twilight doesn't have to. 'It is so upon climax we don't accidentally shoot magic over everything, it can start fires, it can make messes, really its a bit random with its effect, so its better to be safe than sorry.'

Dash tries to close her wings. More awkward silence ensues

'I think we ought to give Twi' a rest.'

'I agree Applejack, lets get going.' Rarity says. Fluttershy briefly stays behind.

'..Sorry.. Get well soon.. Okay?'

Twilight nods, the door closes, then she finally rests her eyes. She will probably be getting a visit from Celestia tomorrow for her misbehavior. What would she say?

She yawns, and closes her eyes, quickly falling asleep.

Octopus hair, part one.

Pinkie Pie ponders aloud to an unwary crowd. 'I wonder like if there was a setting with no fourth wall, what would breaking the fourth wall there do if it doesn't do nothing! Its a true mystery! One of the last in Equestria! Hmmmmm. It'd probably be addressing an imaginary audience, but that means it does nothing. And IM NOT CRAZY!' Everypony, and a few birds, and a wombat all turn to face the source of the noise, oh, its just Pinkie Pie.

'I KNOW! Twilight might know! She is good with all those coin-tums psychics and stuff! I think she was at the, hmm, hospital. Hmmmmmmm.' Pinkie scratches her chin in thought with one, no two, no three hooves for the price of one! 'Hmm maybe thats why cupcakes gave me a bunch of wings and stuff, since I do stuff like this. No matter!' Pinkie hops towards the hospital in a strange direction causing her to essentially cover half the distance to the hospital in one bound.

She notices Celestia's royal carriage just outside the hospital. 'WAIT!' She holds herself back with a 5th hoove coming from nowhere to slow herself down. 'Twilight is probably having a discussion with Celestia, I wonder if she is doing fine now.. Pinkie looks up to the window that should look into Twilight's cell. 'Hm, I have to find a way to subtly peak into her window and check out whats going on'

Pinkie Pie hovers just outside the window covered in sky house and tree camo, along with her hot air balloon. 'Hm Celestia and Twilight are certainly discussing something, discussing something they certainly are. I see Celestia's lips moving and she pauses at regular intervals. Hmm' Pinkie narrows her eyes and moves her ear closer to the window. When she cannot hear any pony she decides to take action into her own hands, hooves, god if Lyra hears me think that.. She rolls her eyes and brings a camo megaphone to her mouth. "SPEAK LOUDER NOPONY CAN HEAR YOU, ITS KINDA INCONVENIENT YA KNOW!' Celestia and Twilight look in Pinkie's direction. Twilight with an annoyed look, she rolls her eyes and sighs. Celestia with a look of confusion, curiosity, then amusement. She even holds a hoove up to her face to stifle a chuckle.

'IT'S NOT FUNNY! THIS IS SERIOUS!'

'Hey Pinkie! What you doing up here?' Dash flies over chuckling. 'Pranking somepony?'

'SHHHHH! Im trying to sneak in on Twilight and Celestia's conversation!' She whispers loudly and aggressively to Dash. Dash looks over to the window of Celestia guffawing and Twilight shaking her head blushing from her embarrassing friends.

Dash chuckles some more. 'How's that working out for you?'

Pinkie narrows her eyes more, glaring at Dash, then unpacks her suitcase with high tech 007 or mission impossible type shiz including but not limited to a silenced sniper rifle, a black knife, a black spandex suit, goggles, an array of capsules from capsule corp, those things are so handy! Her favorite is the cannon one!

She pulls out from the back corner pocket a white human with short brown hair in a suit with a diamond in one of his front teeth, presses triangle, scrolls through her inventory and selects equip silencer, equip to tooth. Dash gapes at what non-sense she is seeing. Pinkie silently uses the human to cut through the glass silently with the diamond embedded in his tooth as its now equipped with a silencer. She takes a suction cup and silently removes the perfectly circular glass, tossing him aside she sneaks into the room, replacing the glass. She removes her clothes, erotically, and when she removes the camo from her head she swings her head causing her mane to dance around majestically and in slow motion for some reason.

'Twilight, might you point me to the exit?' Twilight and Celestia look to the only exit the room has. Celestia bursts out laughing her eyes almost rolling in the back of her head. Twilight with very wide pupils and a visible blush points to the exit and averts her gaze. Dash can be seen from Pinkie pie's perspective, bearing obvious wing-boners. Pinkie leaves, you can hear a tussle, and she reenters the room in a nurse outfit with a face mask.

'Red Heart here, checking in on the patient.' Dash has a hard time flying outside the window, and bumps into Pinkie's air balloon causing it to float away into a nearby house and it bursts into flames catching the house on fire. Dash lifts herself up and pushes the glass causing it to oscillate at dangerous speeds and not leaving it's glass frame. Upon seeing this Pinkie speaks. 'No Dashie! Its friction-less! You are supposed to use a suction cup! Get one from my bag!' Dash forms an expression of horror looking in the direction her balloon went. And takes off.

'Noooo! Dashie don't leave Pinkie~!'

Celestia clears her throat. 'I believe we've had enough.' Pinkie Pie sad puppy dog face with a trembling lower lip. 'But, Twilight, why don't you discuss with her what I told you?'

'Very well. Some ponies from Cantelope were all like Cloudsdale is the shiz too bad we can't charge ponies for good weather! Then Flim and Flam were like, 'Heh, well why not?' So they built a castle fortress producing clouds! They decided to call it Zora's floating castle! It had a lot of radiation and experimental machinery, and it overheated from a technical error from a change in atmospheric conditions, causing it to start falling into the ocean. They was like,'oh my, well, that's not good Flam.' 'Oh I know Flim.' 'What do we do flam?' 'Why, there is only one thing we can do flim!' 'Surely you don't mean!' 'Oh but I do.' 'Okay, here goes nothing..' ''FUSIONNNN-HAAAA!!!" Now they are calling themselves Flimal Flamtasy. And the radiation is producing things like ground swimming sharks, sea-ponies, mutant turtles, buff violent toads, and a lot of ocean wildlife now have the ability to speak and sing.'

'Barnacles!' Everypony starts screaming but Patrick. 'AHHHHHH~~~!!!!!!' Some creepy lookin rectangular sponge runs around in circles, screaming while wearing square pants. Patrick starts screaming and running in circles.

Somewhere in the ocean off of Equestria. 'Buck crabby patties! Chum Bucket wants to expand its target demographic, and expand it shall!' Says some green microbe nopony knows the name of.

Some robot screen voice thing talks. 'Are you sure Plankton? We don't know much about these... SIGH, Ponies!'

'I know right! Shit is so damn girly! Ahem. Yes I am sure..'

'Are you sad about that castle landing on Mr Crabs?'

'Of course not Karen! ... Besides, we have a-'

Jasmine sings. 'A whole new woorrrrlldd!'

'That was my line!' He angrily shakes fist in the air. 'Flimal Flamtasy, get out here! We have matters to discuss! You need to tell me about these.. Sigh, ponies...'

'Oh, they are quite touchy feely- just a simple tune and dance- some theatrics such as a little prance- and in no time you will gain their dime! Ponies eat treats, beets and wheats and sweets. Its quite simple really.'

Plankton speaks up. 'I'm not cut out for this sort of crap.' With a snap he opens a can of beer.

Back in Ponyville.
'Farewell, my loyal subjects.. You know what you have to do..' Celestia looks to each of the element bearers bearing elements that they bare. They bare elements here and there, they bare elements everywhere. They bare elements near and far, they bare elements in a car.

Twilight nods, everypony stepping out of the vehicle.

Dash with narrowed eyes from the extremely slowly setting sun as they walk out onto the beach. 'Let's do this!' Everypony nods.

Some human to the side crying pathetically. 'When is that thing going to set?'

Everypony's bared element's start glowing. 'Go go power-rangers~!' Celestia calls, Vinyl at the side setting the beat, and wiping a tear away, Pinkie nods sadly.

'I'll miss you!' They all glow the colors of their elements and move through the sky in beams of light.

'Mighty morphin power rangerrrrsss~...' Vinyl frowns, then finally speaks up.

'I am such an idiot, I let this happen, you know. The new sports car, the getting in shape, the pink hair, the lies.'

'Yes, she attempts to relive the past.'

'Now I'm losing her! What'll I do! What'll I do~!'

'What are you talking about?'

'Hmm?' Vinyl sniffles, then gets slapped.

'You are Vinyl Scratch- girl! My Self! Pull yourself together! What will you do? Is this a question? Show him you remember that she is incredible, and you will remind her who you are! Well, you know where she is. Go! Confront the problem! Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.'