Amnesia

The two stallions watched in confusion as I hurried into my room, and came out with my iPod,  the Snowmint voodoo doll, and a box of matches. "Bonfire time!" I ran to the kitchen to grab stuff for s'mores, then ran to my fireplace. I set my iPod to play 'Cracknyan Extended,' threw a lit match into the fireplace, and tossed in the doll. The boys didn't have time to process who the doll was, so they could've just thought I didn't like the doll. We made s'mores, and took turns choosing songs for a few hours.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Cry said. A police officer stood there.

This had better work. After confirming that I lived here, the officer decided to take a look around. Unfortunately, she found what she was looking for. My Thrackerzod voodoo doll, and the burnt remains of the other one.

"I've seen enough here. You're not exactly sane, so you always have the option of going to a mental hospital instead of prison. Does that sound nice?" I continued to shrivel into a corner as Pewds looked at me with a 'I should've known this was going to happen sooner or later' look, and Cry just looked shocked and betrayed.

"Hasta pronto, Snowmint. Dimensional Screams are never wrong." Those were the last words I said before I blacked out.

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"Ugh... What happened...?" I woke up in the back of a car before I remembered how much trouble I was in. "Oh, shit, I got caught by the fuzz." The rear-view mirror told me that the police officer rolled her eyes. "Hey! Eyes on the road, dipshit! I'd like to get sent to the mental hospital in one piece, thank you very much." She growled, but did as she was told.

"Look, I don't really get you, ma'am. You slaughter someone in one of the most graphic ways possible, using a voodoo doll of all things, then set the corpse on fire using said voodoo doll. Then, when I find you, the stunningly bright and beautiful mare that committed the acts, and you look depressed. Paler, dirtier mane, and dead looking eyes, along with your starved physique. Why?" I just smirked. "The stallions you were with verified the large amounts of freshly junked empty food containers, so I'm just confused."

"Well, miss, that's just how my body works. I eat like crazy and keep the figure of a supermodel, and if I start eating like a normal mare, I lose weight. I actually have been depressed, because my best friend was dating the victim, even though she was a slutty bitch, and he hasn't looked past his resentment to remember my rage issues and chaotic powers. In a way, the murder was his fault. He should've shut her up..." The police officer looked mildly surprised, but quickly hid it.

"Wow, I guess that makes sense." Then my mouth decided to make a fool of me.

"I always thought she was an alien, and she was using mind-control on him." It failed miserably.

"Yes, Snowmint was actually an alien with mind control powers. Her kind are cruel and evil, so we were going to dispose of her. Of course, you beat us to it." I was about to ask a very strange conspiracy theory question when the officer answered it. "Yes, I am a member of the 'Mares In Black', known to many as the MIB." I internally fangirl-screamed.

"Cool! By the way, did the thing with your left foreleg happen on the job?" She nodded. "Okay, that's all the ques- wait!" She looked startled and confused. "I saw your wings while you were searching my place, and I see a horn on top of your head. Are you an Alicorn? And I don't mean the technical term." She nodded again. "Also, I noticed that you're a yellow-y orange, with a red and yellow wavy mane, and turquoise eyes. Are you Sunset Shimmer?" She looked very surprised at that, as if she didn't expect to be recognized.

"Y-yes. I came back to Equestria because I missed being a unicorn. However, no records said that I ever existed, so I just joined the MIB, and technically, I wasn't supposed to pick you up. However, my boss and his buddy give you two options. You can join the MIB, or you can join the group that I can't tell you anything about unless you choose it." MIB, a super awesome kick-ass group of alien police, or a random mystery group?

"I'll take mystery boss for five-hundred, please, Alex." Sunset looked giddy.

"Okay, before I tell you the details, answer me this: why are your eyes a pale green instead of pale blue, like in your photo?" I took out one of the gummy eyeballs, and chomped off a bite. "No eyes. Explains all the jars of gummy eyeballs." I made the famous  'You Don't Say' face, and we both started laughing. "To get back on topic, your new boss is Slenderstallion. Yay!"

"Wait... What?!"