Roses And Thorns

by a guy with many hats

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Prince Blueblood, Sex, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Roseluck, Romance, Original Character
Length: 19440

A vexillophile human moves to Trottingham. Unfortunately for her, her hobby is seen as rather disrespectful and she quickly gains the attention of a rather angry town.

A vexillophile human moves to Trottingham. Unfortunately for her, her hobby is seen as rather disrespectful and she quickly gains the attention of a rather angry town and a nerdy stallion. And when a small mistake leads to a strange relationship the two set off to find the source of the town's xenophobia.

Published 2014-07-27 16:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-04 10:06:46 UTC

Trottingham

I sat on the bench near the train station out of Canterlot. The platform was rather crowded since a recent development. Something about ponies and humans having babies, it really wasn't any of my concern. I had to focus on my work, my boss was somewhere on this platform and I wasn't about to act like a complete psycho.

"Little shit." I muttered, pulling at my skirt. A small low buzzer was working away at my lower body, just enough to keep me from getting bored. Luckily enough I had set it low enough not to show or be audible, just enough to cause a slight tickle and an occasional jolt.

I crossed my thighs, bouncing my leg and letting my calf and knee jitter. I spotted my boss, a white unicorn with a blonde mane. He was a pompous prick, but good at what he did. Losing friends, ruining dates and cartography. Blueblood was a stuck up, snooty little shit, but he could map a ridge and could paint a portrait like a master.

"Em...hello." he muttered, stepping over to me and staring at my twitching leg. "Are you alright?"

I turned my head towards the incoming train, "Hmm? What exactly do you mean?"

Blue looked around my bench, "Well I was going to ask why your leg is kicking, but I think a better place would be all of this. How do you have so many bags?"

I looked at my five or so luggage cases. "What...I have things."

Blueblood rubbed his face with his hoof, "The last time I was in your apartment you had maybe a single case's worth, now all this?"

I stood up, watching the train roll to a stop before me. "And you wonder why you never get invited back."

"What?"

I started hoisting my bags up, "I don't judge you on your lack of stuff. And I had it all packed up still. I was only staying there until I could move out here." I turned to the train, holding my bags precariously. "What, you thought I was going to unpack my stuff for that little crap house?"

Blueblood just groaned and followed me to the door of the train, "Well would you like your ticket before you go?"

I stopped at the entrance to the train, a bored looking mare in a hat holding her hoof out. I craned my head around, glaring at Blueblood. "...Yes, please."

Blue turned his nose up. "I thought so."

I shook my head, glaring at him as he walked past and passed off two tickets. "You think a lot of things...not all of them true." I hoisted my things up, following after the pompous pony through the train and towards the private seating. A small corridor with a bunch of doors waited in one of the cars. "Blue I--"

He ignored me, pulling one of the doors open and stepping inside. I joined him, finding myself in a rather large room. It looked like a college dorm, all compact into a small train car. "Jesus, Bloody, all this just to go to Trottingham?"

Blue found a seat, staring out a window as I stowed my bags. "Do you know who I am? Traveling in coach is for plebs and...commoners."

"Pfff, god forbid you have to sit next to someone normal. God forbid you act like a pompous prick and piss off another person. Oh- oh, god forbid you accidentally sit next to someone cute and make a complete ass out of yourself!"

Blueblood started sputtering, "Me- with a- oh you must be joking."

I started laughing as I found a seat, "And that's why you're single. Stuck up prick."

Blueblood grumbled, "You're suggesting I lower myself for some, harlot? Some common pony--"

"Who said it had to be a pony," I asked, joining him at the window. "I mean don't get me wrong, you're gross...so, no thanks. But who said it had to be a pony? Why not a human, or a dragon, or a griffon?"

Blueblood grew a bit pink around the cheeks and stared out the window, "You're implying I haven't...tried."

"I guess." I pulled at my ponytail, the length of which let my bring it over my shoulder and down my bicep, twirling it between my fingers. "Well, all that aside I do appreciate this."

Blueblood rubbed his face, adjusting his false tux. "Well I'm sad you're moving, work will be more difficult, but I'm sure we'll figure things out." He turned to face me, drawing my attention from the passing landscape. "Speaking of, do you have the designs?"

I pulled my backpack over, the satchel chock full of papers and folders. "A few flags, some shirts, paintings, and a few sketches."

Blueblood smiled wide and took the bundle of papers from me. "Excellent. So you'll just keep sending me what you come up with, I'll make sure the money gets deposited and everything will work like normal."

I let out a long hum as the vibrator in my panties hit a soft spot, "Hmmmmm, yea--" I stopped myself, eyes popping open as Blueblood lifted his hoof up. "Uhhh...bathroom...where?"

Blueblood lifted his hoof, jutting it towards the door. "Down the hall to your right."

I stood up without another word, hurrying down the hall and finding the bathroom. The place was tiny, barely able to fit a pony and giving me just enough room to sit down and pull up my dress. "Stupid thing." I reached into the top of my frilly stocking, turning off the vibrator and letting out a sigh, "Jesus." I leaned back on the toilet, legs spread wide. "Alright...I- fuck." I grumbled, looking at the plastic control in my hand. "Whelp."

I turned to vibrator on full, nearly kicking the door as I let out a shrill yelp, "Jesus- fucker." I continued to mumble and squirm as I waited for the soft release I'd been building up. I tightened up my legs, lifting my feet up off the floor and letting my shoes tap against the ground. My black stockings started to bunch up as I slid my pearly white fingers down my legs. "Come on...." I moved as much as I could, trying to hit the sweet spot.

My orange dress was half flipped up, my pure white skin cold against the black of my stockings and the off white of my panties. I was a mess of sharp colors, all save the soft pink clutched between my fingers. "Come on you little shit--" I kicked my leg out, pressing it against the door and feeling the vibrator hit the spot. "Fuck- fuck-- mmmmhm--" I tipped over, letting a peacefully joyous sensation rattle around my groin and up into my belly. It was warm, just enough to be pleasurable and leave me in a calm afterglow.

Not the greatest, but for what it was, where it was, it was better than I could have asked for. I let my leg fall, sliding my panties down around my thighs and pulling the joy buzzer away. "Oh god...what would I do without you?" I mumbled, turning around and standing on the toilet with my hands and knees, trying to push the window open.

I must have looked a sight, my panties down around my knees as I bent over the back of the toilet and tried to sort out the window. My dress was down, my stockings were bunched up around my lower thigh and one of my shoes had started falling off. I let out a few quick laughs as I forced the window open, "Oh g--" I stopped dead as I turned around, a stallion peaking his head into the bathroom.

He froze, his eyes lingering around my knees, "Uh...it said it was unoc--"

"Get out!" I cut him off, kicking the door closed on his neck and watching him fall to the side, "...Holy shit." I muttered, yanking my panties up and stuffing the toy in my stocking. "Don't be dead, please don't be dead." I mumbled, ducking down and pressing my head against the downed stallion's chest.

Thump thump thump.

He was alive, maybe winded and a bit hurt, but he was fine. "Oh thank god." I muttered, fixing my stockings and picking my fallen shoe off the ground. I tiptoed daintily through the hall, my panties riding up as I snuck back into Blueblood's room.

Blueblood just stared at me, ears held against his head. "Did you just--"

"Shut up." I pointed at him, my shoe hanging off my finger. "It was a rough day, I just wanted a little fun and I don't need you making a big deal out of it!"

Blue just glared at me. "We're supposed to be profes--"

"Bah bah bah bah!" I shouted incoherently, "Sush."

"But I-"

"Shh."

"Stop--"

"No you."

Blue went back to glaring. "...Put your shoe on, we're almost there."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Figured you'd wanna smell it first, ya' perv!"

Blue just stared at me, eyes unwavering. "You really are rather incred--"

"You know staring at me put my shoe on doesn't really help your point much." I snapped, slowing down and every so softly pulling my shoe on, making sure to slip my toes in first and make a bit of a suggestive face as I did. "Oh shoe, you dirty bitch."

"You're not funny."

I scoffed at Blueblood, pulling my shoe on in one quick sweep. "Says you. I mean honestly you're the least humorous person I know, so I'm not about to let you tell me what's funny and what's not." I sat down across from Blue, staring out the room's window at the passing landscape. Things were already growing rather damp and cold, the smell of fresh pine and oak seeping in through the poorly sealed window. "Here, just let me--"

"No don't!"

I yanked the window up, causing a rush of cold air to swirl around the room. Blue Blood looked like he'd just caught a load to the face, bringing a hoof up to defend against the cold. I just sat there, weathering the cold. "Hmm, it's nice out."

Blueblood took his time, slowly acclimating to the damp air of the winter woods. "Unbelievable. How are you fine with this!?" He snapped, grumbling angrily.

I looked down over my bright white skin. "Man, the sun sucks. Cold nights and forests are my babies."

Blueblood just continued to grumble, "I was going to ask why you were so pale...I should have known you don't go out in the sun."

I started laughing as I rubbed my arms, "Bloody, I'm whiter than a freaking albino."

Blueblood started scratching his head, "...Are you albino? It honestly wouldn't surprise--"

"My hair is jet black...my eyes aren't screwed up, what do you think?" I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair, "I don't know why I'm so white...I just am."

Blueblood cocked an eyebrow, "What's so bad about being white?"

"I can't go out in the sun very long. Summers are hell. People always called me, Snow White, which got really old around fifth grade. But, I do look great in bright colors, so that's a plus." I straightened out my dress. "Speaking of, why do you never wear blue?"

Blueblood leveled his expression, looking rather unamused. "Because of my name?"

"No, because it would probably look good on you. I mean, you ruin any chance at a relationship by being a mean stuck up prick, but you could get a mare...I mean, not permanently, but you could stop being such a sad bastard if you tried." I poked his back leg with the tip of my shoe. "I mean honestly, you look good. I'm at least ninety-five percent lady, and you look alright. But damn, you just know how to kill a mood in two words."

"Ninety-five percent lady? What about the other five percent?"

"Lesbianism. I had this...thing, in high school, let's not talk about it. Just saying I can appreciate a hot girl...when they're not bitches, which is never." I hissed, turning to the window and laying my head against the wall. "Not bitter or anything."

Blueblood just shook his head. "You are the strangest human I've met--"

"And I'm relatively normal. You should meet actual crazy people." I stopped as the train station filled up our window, "Oh hey, we here?"

Blueblood joined me at the window. "...Yes, seems we are," he turned to me with a worried expression. "Are you going to be alright? Did you study up on Trottingham before--"

"It's fine. I'll figure it out. Can't be that different than Canterlot." I stood up, starting to collect my bags. "Besides, the house was way too cheap to pass up, under a quarter million for six bedrooms! That's just- I'd be an idiot to pass it up."

Blueblood followed me as I started off towards the exit of the train. "Did you ever think maybe it was cheap for a reason?"

I tightened up my lips, pouting angrily. "Don't ruin this for me. Just, don't ruin this for me." I carried my stuff off the train, stepping onto the concrete platform. "Besides--" I stopped as I bumped into a pale pink unicorn.

"Are you Marylin?" he asked, looking me up and down.

I smiled wide, "I am, but you can just call me Em--"

The stallion spit at my foot, just missing and splattering a viscous bogie against the concrete platform. "Foreigner." he threw down a small key ring. I just stared in shock as the stallion wandered off.

"What the hell was that!?" I shouted, snapping my head back to the train, Blueblood staring from the train. "Seriously, that was just so rude!"

He shrugged, "Welcome to Trottingham. You're going to get a lot of that."

Author's Note

COMMENT YOU FOOLS

Foreigner

I looked around the entry to my new home, the large manor bare and hollow. It felt like something I could make a home, but it would take a lot of time. It was a start though, and that's all I needed.

I kicked my biggest bag over and yanked it open. Inside sat a mass of folded cloth, ranging from bright yellows to deep reds. It was a sight to see, and soon enough my new home would be glowing with beautiful displays. But before I could hang up the first a loud knocking came from my front door.

"Damn...hold on!" I shouted, stuffing the flags back into my bag. I hurried through the large entry, sliding over to where I had left my shoes and yanking the door open. A grey mare was standing on my porch, her expression dull as could be. "Hi, did you need something?"

The mare blinked lazily, slowly looking up at me. "Marylin?"

I nodded a few times. "Yeah, how can I--"

The mare craned her head back, making a disgusting ripping sound before spitting on my foot. "Foreigner." She swept her head around, dragging her thick mane through the air as she turned to the road. "Equestria doesn't need you monkeys, and neither does Trottingham."

I stared in awe at the audacious mare. Such a pretty pony, golden mane, bright teal eyes, had just spat on my stockings. "...You fucking bitch." I hissed, slamming my door closed and looking at the multipul doors that lead away from the entry. "That fucking bitch!" I shouted, hastily taking my stocking off and throwing the semitransparent sock towards my bags. "What the hell is with these ponies!? Freaking- frick- ass!"

I stood in my new entry, looking around the nicely stained wood panels and high ceiling. I let out a quick huff and stormed over to my bags. My first moments in Equestria were amazing, the ponies were so nice, and now I was exploring a new place and I get to find out just how racist ponies really are.

But I wasn't about to let a few weirdos ruin this place for me. It was only two so far, and I had an entire town to explore. And it made sense that the racist weirdos would come out first. I was sure that soon enough a group would show up that would apologize and explain everything.

Another knocked came from my door as I slipped a new pair of socks on. I walked up to the door, hiding behind it and slowly opening it. "Hello?"

A rainy looking blue stallion was standing on my porch. "...Mail." He grumbled angrily, quickly levitating out a few letters. "Foreigner." he promptly spat on my floor, courteous enough to miss my door. "...Eh...better than a bird I guess...." He mumbled, quickening his pace and leaving me to stare at the slowly growing puddle of spit on my porch.

I felt a horridly powerful grimace crawl across my face. "...Even when they say something nice they still sound like dicks...." I grumbled, closing the door and looking through the rather fat stack of letters. I walked over to the middle of the room and plopped back down on my bags. I flipped open the first letter and looked it over.

"...Dear Ms. Anderson...enclosed is a pot-- are you serious!?" I snapped, shredding the letter. "I just got here and they're already asking me to move!?" I grabbed the next letter. "...That's just a picture of a dick!" I looked at the letter, "There's not even postage on this!"

I continued to skim through the letters, most revealing nothing outside of asking me to leave or calling me a monkey. All I could really gather from it all was these ponies were rather racist, if that wasn't already painfully apparent. I couldn't help but feel a little off put, even if this was a new guy thing. And like Blue had said, there might have been a reason I got the house so cheap.

I crumpled up the vile letters and tossed them aside. I needed to set things up, I wasn't about to end up sleeping on my luggage in an empty house. But I wanted to get my prized possessions up first, this was my first home big enough to really give them some space and I wasn't about to let them sit around my bags forever.

I hurried into a small workshop attached to the house like a garage, the previous owner having left some basic stuff behind. I grabbed a box of nails and a ladder and lumbered back into the entry. But before I could start hanging up my flags a loud ruckus drew my attention outside.

I slowly opened the door, watching as two ponies in uniform dragged away a rough looking colt. Another mare in uniform spotted me and trotted over. "Ma'am...vandals...don't worry."

I stared at the ornery pony getting dragged off. "Well, I mean at least--"

I was cut off as the constable spat at me, slamming a thick loogey into the door. "Foreigner."

I glared at the mare. "...Really? I mean fucking really? You said that guy was a vandal, then you spit at me!?"

The mare looked back at the mass of any pony and coughed. "He was trying to throw eggs at your house...we don't tolerate vandalism in Trottingham...so watch yourself."

I froze in place. "You're shitting me right? How is spitting at me not vandalism!?"

The mare just shook her head. "We'll make sure somepony stays out to make sure you don't get hurt.... But don't expect us to like it, you damn monkey thing."

I snapped, thrusting my hand out and waggling my middle finger in her face. "Screw you!" I slammed the door shut up kicked my leg out, "Raaugh! Unbelievable!" I charged over to the ladder and got it upright. I grabbed Czech flag and the Flag of Canterlot and started up the steps.

The walls were just high enough to let the flags hang down and not obstruct the door. I had a terrible time trying to hammer in two nails in my dress, the whole ordeal more of a jeans affair but I wasn't in the mood to change. I just wanted to hit stuff, "Em smash!" I shouted, pounding a nail into the wall.

My feet hurt a bit from the rungs, but I felt stable enough to finish up. Before two long two beautiful flags were hung, beautiful red white and blue and a celestial combo like Equestria's royal crest. It was great, a beautiful display that was only going to grow as I found a way to hang more flags up.

I slowly made my way down, setting the hammer down on my bag and running my hands through my hair. I looked around the freshly renovated home. "...I wonder what they did before electricity...."

My musings were cut off by another knock, and as tempted as I was to not answer I wanted to have hope someone would apologize. "...One sec." I fixed my hair and accidentally wiped my mouth, streaking orange lipstick across my forearm, "Oh damn...."

I let it go and pulled the door open. A royal blue pegasus was waiting calmly. "Oh hello...foreigner."

I felt a familiar heat rise up in my gut, tempered only by the fact the mare hadn't spat at me. "...Hi there, local...."

The mare nodded, pushing her glasses up. "Yes well...I'm sure you'll be getting this a lot...but I hope you move."

I smiled wide. "How nice...now you wanna leave or should I slam the door in your face?"

The mare shrugged. "It's up to you. But, I do appreciate you not being a griffon or a dog, those vile creatures are just rabid." She tapped her hoof. "I simply came to see just how civil a human might be...as of now you're the least egregious--" The mare stopped dead and slowly cocked her head. "Um...what is that?" She lifted her hoof towards my freshly hung flags.

I looked back, smiling proudly. "Just some flags. Ever been to Earth? I know ponies have them for towns but--"

"Oh...I see...." The mare turned away with a huff, spitting off the side of my porch, "A foreigner and a traitor...raising your sick enemy nations above Trottingham.... Even griffons have some loyalty!" She charged off, steaming.

I scratched my head and slowly closed the door, oddly insulted by being called a traitor. "...I don't- it's just a flag...what's the big freaking deal?" Before I could go back to settling in a small tap called me back to the door. I strolled over, cracking it open and spotting a rather large lineup of ponies. "Uh...can I help--"

The first pony in line walked up and spat at my door. "Traitor...." he quickly turned away, prompting the next to come up and attempt the same. "Trai--"

I cut him off, slamming the door in his face and letting out a flustered scream. "Screw you!" I ran back to the door and flung it open. "Leave me the hell alone! I just got here you animals!" I slammed the door again, pressing my back against the door and sliding down.

I could feel my eyes tearing up, my oversensitivity always a problem. I felt bad, not bad enough to cry but enough to tear up a little. I didn't want to wipe my eyes, I had put on makeup for the first day in a new town but it seemed like it wasn't going to matter. "Stupid ponies...." I mumbled, sniffling softly. "Jerks...."

I sat on the floor, playing with my socks and waiting for about an hour. Things went quiet as the sun went down, leaving me to sort out a bed. But before I could change and bathe a loud knocking snapped me back into reality. I spun around in a flash throwing the door open and revealing a beige pony with a bright wine red mane. He swung his head around, "For--" he stopped dead as he spotted me, "...F-...foreigner...." he mumbled, mouth hanging open slightly. "Um...foreigner...you're a...a...uh...."

I glared at the rose maned pony, "Gawk more jackass!" I spat at him, finally returning the favor so many ponies had been showing me. "Screw you!" I slammed the door in a snap, feeling good about finally fighting back. But just as quick as I had opened the door a softer knock rang out. I pulled the door open, spotting the same pony just standing there with a spot of spit in his coat. "What!?"

The stallion just stared at me, looking me up and down. "I uh...Cork...hi...hi...I'm...Coc- Cork! I...am Cork." he stated nervously. "You're...the...the foreigner."

I glared at him, trying to burn a hole in his head with my eyes. "Get out." I growled, slowly closing the door, keeping constant eye contact with the green eye'd stallion. The door clicked shut, quickly being assailed once again, but by a small bell instead of a knock. "Aaaauaaaaah!" I yanked the door open, leaning out of my house and hovering over the stallion. "What the hell do you want!?"

The stallion just stood there, mouth agape, eyes wide. "Uh...I didn't mean it...." He stated, leaning forward slightly, "...You...smell nice.... I'm Cork...by the way...I mean if I didn't say that."

I stood full force in the doorway, legs spread aggressively and body leaned forward like a piss off wolf. "Go--away--now."

The stallion continued to stare at me, eyes darting around. "Uh, you're...you're not what I was expecting...you're like...way better than a bird- griffon...I mean, they're foreigners too but you're- you- I mean--" The stallion looked behind him, a small group of young stallions watching us. "Uh...I- like.... Foreigner!" he shouted, snapping his head down. "You're a traitor and- and I hate you!"

I just stared at him, "Well screw you too!" I spat into his mane, "Now get out!" I slammed the door, locking it and finding a seat on my bags. I let out a long huff and started getting changed, my orange dress and fancyish clothes swiftly being replaced by snug panties and a loose tee shirt. My first day in Trottingham had been a British accented mess, and all I could hope was the next would be better.

A loud bell caught my attention as I started unrolling a sleeping bag. "I swear to god!" I stormed over, throwing the door open and stepping out onto the cold stone landing. "What!?" I shouted into the cold damp night, "What do you want!?"

Before long the red maned stallion slowly started crawling out of a bush that lined the steps up to my house, a scraggly plant with dirt hanging off the roots hung from his mouth. "Uh...hi...these are for you...." He stated, letting the flowers rest in his hoof, his accent soft and vaguely English. "I uh--"

"You dug those out of my garden." I stated, turning my head to a new dug up patch in my lawn. "...You just pulled my plants out of the ground like nothing...."

The stallion froze in place. "...I did do that.... That's...not good is it?"

I let out a long sigh and sat on my threshold. "I hate you all so much...." I growled, grabbing my head. "You're such dicks, even when you're not trying."

The stallion chuckled nervously, chucking the plant onto my lawn. "I uh...seriously though, I'm really sorry about yelling at you. You're really pretty and- but my friends were there...and I--"

I rubbed my eyes, "What do you want?"

The stallion looked around nervously, dawdling on the edge of the porch lamp light. "Nothing...."

"Then go away." I stated coldly, not in any state to tolerate some kid with a crush. "You ponies have been nothing but terrible to me, so just leave me alone."

The stallion's ears went flag, "Uh...so.... You know my name right?"

I let out a tired huff and threw my hand up, "Cork?"

The stallion smiled, still nervous. "Yeah- yeah...I'm Cork. Can I- your name is?"

I breathed deeply. "Marylin...but everyone calls me Em." We sat there, watching each other. I couldn't help but notice a soft pink creeping out from under his stomach. "Now seriously, can you go away?"

Cork stood there, locked in place. "Uh...yeah, I'll uh- we can talk later...." He slowly started backing away. "You're...I like your lip things...and...those." he waggled his hoof at my chest. "I uh...you're like- you're white as Celestia...and I just...."

I thrust my arm out, "Go, now."

Cork nodded and started wandering off. "I'll talk- we'll talk later...dinner...with the- uh...I'm gonna go." he limped off, his little thing sneaking out as he ran off.

I rubbed my forehead. "Nervous little shit called me cute...then called me a traitor...." I stood up and started wandering back inside, ready to clean up and go to bed. "Well...at least they're not all dicks- complete dicks." I corrected, not absolving the nervous stallion of dick status.

Cork Board

I sat on my porch, waiting for Blueblood and weathering the petty insults hurled at me from the occasional angry pony. It was rather dull, the insults boring and rather uninteresting. "Foreigner."

"Yeah, tell your momma to suck eggs." I shot back at a passing mare.

Another young stallion shook his head as he passed by, "Foreigner."

"Man, you must really like your virginity." I hissed, flipping him off.

"...Foreigner...." A soft voice whispered, "...Em...Marylin...."

I turned my head sharply. "...Cork...get the hell out of that bush...right now."

The bush that sat by my porch rustled slightly, a dull beige head poking out and staring at me. "...I can't.... Can I come in though? I'll use the back door!" He cracked a huge toothy grin. "I mean...if that's okay...I know you're probably pretty mad."

I stared at the bush. "Why should I--"

"Foreigner!" A passing colt shouted.

"He-hey, lick my ass!" I shot back, making an obscene gesture. "...This is stupid fun." I mumbled, giggling slightly at the ability to shoot back worse swears. "Anyways Bushman, why would I ever let you inside?"

Cork looked around, his red mane poking out of the bush. "Um...I can help...."

"With what?" I shot back, resting my china against my chin and staring at him. "What could you possibly do to help me?"

Cork puffed out his cheeks, blushing slightly. "...I would lick you."

"What!?" I snapped, leaning towards the bush.

"I could help you build things! I- I know carpentry!" He snapped, sinking back into the bush. "Please don't kick me...."

I cocked my head, "Kick you? I'm not going to kick you...yet." I jeered, keeping a straight face and putting the fear into the nevish stallion. "Now you're either gonna come out and talk to me like a person, or you're going to leave, either way you're getting out of my bush!" I stopped, snickering slightly. "Ha...bush."

Cork looked around nervously. "...Please don't make me go. I can't come out...everyone will call me a traitor and I'll never--"

I sneered, "Oh god forbid you get called a foreigner or shouted at, or spit at, or on. Now you have my terms!"

A passing stallion stopped to stare at me yelling at the bush. "...Psychotic."

I snapped towards the street, making a vulgar thrust. "Go blow yourself you horse faced weirdo!"

"Charming." A rich voice cut in, giving way to Blueblood and a strange man in a pilgrims' hat. "Em...how is Trottingham?"

I sat down on the porch again. "...Eh.... Stallions in a bushes, getting called a foreigner, death threats for hanging a foreign flag. Not that much different from Georgia."

The man in the hat let out a raspy laugh. "Heh...same laws, that's why I'm here."

Blueblood looked back at the man. "...Marylin, this is Franko...he's here about your protection problem."

The man smiled wide, his scratchy beard a deep grey stained mess. "Scatterguns, pistols, I got what you need."

I couldn't help but feel a little creeped out as the man pulled a small crate from his back. "Uh...maybe we do this inside, everyone already hates me for no reason...better we don't give them one."

"Wait!" Cork snapped, peeking out of the bushes. "Can I come?"

Blueblood stared wide eye'd at the bush. "Oh.... Here I thought you were making a joke about cunnilingus."

I shook my head, turning to Cork. "You can come hang out if you wipe your hooves and use the front door...and stop being a prick." I walked into the doorway, throwing the door itself open. "And Blueblood, please, I would never joke about cunnilingus. That's serious business." I held the door for everyone, the creepy man and Blueblood walking inside without issue. Cork slowly slithered from his bush, bolting up my steps and sneaking past me.

"Sorry sorry sorry." He hissed prowling past and hiding behind the door. "Close it...please?"

I scoffed and kicked the door shut. "You know, I want to believe you're not a dick, but you've hovering at about sixty percent dick status." I turned to the two Canterlot types. "Yo...you gonna spill it?"

Blueblood let out a long groan, "Do you mind if I look around? I really don't need to-- alright who is this!?" He thrust his hoof out at Cork. "You said everyone was horrid, but here stands a stallion, in your house, behind you!"

I craned my head around, watching Cork duck under the window. "Him? I don't know. But it's amazing how much the non dicks stick out compared to the dickheads." I put my fists on my hips. "Him? He's Cork, he's about sixty percent dick. Those folks out there, a solid ninety-nine percent dick."

Blueblood tightened up his glare. "Marylin...stop talking about penises."

"No! You talk about dicks more!" I shot back, pointing to the hall. "Now go on, I got hardware to get my hands on."

Blueblood groaned at my joke. "Mind like a child...."

"Bloody, learn to take a joke!" I shouted, walking up to the creepy man unloading weapons onto my floor. "Yo, sup?"

The man let out a raspy laugh. "Not much, heard about your problem, had your little friend contact me. Anyways, what are ya' lookin' for?"

I looked down at the well organized guns. "Hmm...Mossberg five-hundred?"

The man cocked his head. "Oh...uninspired, sturdy, cheap...." The man pulled out a small shotgun, "You know how to handle this?"

I chuckled softly. "I grew up with a bunch of rednecks, you give me a gun I'll know how to handle it!"

The man shrugged. "Five hundred, with one-hundred shells."

I turned to Cork as he wandered over and joined me at the impromptu market. "Hmm...that's a good deal. What do you think?"

Cork looked at the shotgun. "Uh...what is it?"

I chuckled softly. "Some call it a negotiator. Others call it the debt settler. But it's actually just a gun. Oooooo." I made spooky fingers at him, hovering over him. "No, uh.... It's so if anyone tries anything stupid I can defend myself. Have you never seen a gun?"

Cork stared as I took the gun, "Um...no? What does it d--" I cut him off, giving it a quick rack, "...Okay...so, it's mean isn't it. Like it does something bad, right? That sound brings nothing good."

I chuckled softly. "No...it brings something amazing." I set the weapon down and started looking for my wallet. "Hold on...it's in one of my bags." I started rummaging through my flags and clothes, eventually finding my wallet. "Hey, you take bank cards or does this have to be a paper--"

The man let out a rough cough. "Card is fine...but.... That little weirdo right there was staring at your ass...." He pointed limply at Cork, "Figured you'd want to--"

"No I wasn't! ...What's an ass?" Cork asked, cocking his head.

I cocked an eyebrow. "...Plot? That's what you--"

"Oh! Oh...." He laughed nervously. "...Yeah...I was doing that.... Sorry."

I shook my head and made the transaction with the gunman. "For the record, the last two people I dated left me because I was, too rough." I was quickly given a brand new shotgun and a case of ammunition. "Leather and whips kinda thing, so...you don't want that." I chuckled, "I guarantee you...if you try something, the guard will be the last of your worries." I picked out a case and added it to my purchase. "Ever hear of sounding?"

Cork shook his head slowly. "No...."

"Yeah, you don't want to find out." I finished up and waved the gunman off. He lifted his hat and pulled his cases outside. "Bye! Thank you!" I waved him off, watching him nearly take out a pony who yelled the usual insult. "Oh...do it, do it, do it, please do it!" I whimpered, clutching the door and shaking my fist. "Do it...."

To my displeasure the man didn't punch anyone, and walked off peaceably. "Damn--"

"Em, what is--"

"Jesus!" I shouted, shooting bolt stiff and swinging around. "Blueblood!" I snapped, finding him standing next to me, "Hello!"

Blueblood cocked an eyebrow and lowered his hooves. "Dear Celestia...calm down. You're always so skittish."

I took a deep breath and steadied my heart. "I was...watching things."

Blueblood snickered softly. "You're like a foal caught with pornography!"

I finished slowing my heart and shook my head softly. "Blueblood, how was that date I set you up on?"

He stopped his laughing in a snap. "Ha...ha.... With the griffon? You're so funny, you know you're just so hilarious, albino."

I scoffed, "This from the Aryan horse."

Cork wandered between us. "Um...so do you hate each other?" He looked Blueblood over. "Are you dating...cause, you fight like a marri--"

"No no no!" I snapped, shaking my arms, "No.... We both work for- wait, Blueblood do you work for Pony Valle or do you just contract with them?"

Blueblood scratched his hoof on the floor. "I work for them off and on, more light moonlighting."

I shrugged. "No, me and Blueblood work for an animation company called Ponyvalle. I made him come out with me to get drinks and we kept talking." I leaned back, perching on my heels. "He always complained about being single. I thought he was hitting on me but--"

"But I'm not interested in a porcelain skinned nutcase."

"Screw you! Twilight Time is going to be a fucking hit and you know it!" I shot back, referencing a cartoon I was working on. "I will write you the best script, make you the best backgrounds, bitch I will make this happen!"

Blueblood looked unconvinced and shifted his gaze to Cork. "So really...who is this?"

I looked back at Cork, his green eyes darting around and settling on me. He gave me a wide smile. "This is Cork. Like I said, he's only half the ass hole everyone else in this town is. He actually apologized for being a prick."

Blueblood cocked an eyebrow. "So why's he in your house? Colt toy?"

"Pff, that nerdy little weirdo? He wouldn't last ten seconds with me," I put my hands on my hips and watched the nerd look around my flags. "No...he's like you I think. A friend."

Blueblood shrugged. "At any rate, did you need anymore help? You've got me out here, and I car reach a bit father than you."

"You wanna hang out, help me hang flags and assemble furniture that's fine. I mean, I'd appreciate it." I looked over to Cork. "Hey, how good are you with a screwdriver?" I watched as the earth pony wandered over. "...I have to imagine--"

"Wait...I thought you needed stuff built." Cork mumbled, scratching his head. "I was gonna ask what you wanted...."

I scratched my head. "Wait...you're actually a carpenter? With the hooves and--" Cork cut me off, nodding heartily. "Oh...that's pretty sweet."

Blueblood bopped my knee with a hoof. "Um...Em, did you not buy furniture?"

I stared at him, past him really. "...I brought a futon and my flags. Either way, you're gonna be better at hanging them than me."

Blueblood let out a tired grunt. "...Los Pegasus or Royal Hungary?" He asked, levitating a pair of flags from my bags, all still piled in the entry.

I smiled wide. "God I love that you know flags...it's so hot...."

Blueblood cocked an eyebrow. "So which one?"

I scoffed, "Both...trust me, there's room."

Cork stared at the flags hovering before me. "Um...you know it's really not nice to have a flag higher than Equestria--"

I pointed straight up. "Check, your fucking, privilege."

Cork craned his head up, looking up at the Royal Equestrian banner I had hanging from the roof. "Oh...."

"Bitch, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love this place, so don't you dare tell me I don't care about Equestria!" I snapped, bumping the side of his head with my hip. "Now if I get some wood and nails and stuff, can you make a bed frame?"

Cork continued to stare up at the banner, bopping his hoof off his forehead. "I can build what ever you want.... Just please, please don't tell anyone that I'm here."

I smiled at him. "Fine, but if you piss me off I'm gonna smack your taint with a paddle."

Cork lurched forward with a soft grunt. "...Why?"

I shrugged. "It gets me off...like you and bushes."

Author's Note

COMMENTUM

Evicted

I followed Blueblood around as he tacked up my flags. "Seriously, Blue, thanks. I'm crap with a hammer."

Blue Blood wheeled his body around, staring at the pliers in my hands. "Yes, yes...mares in distress and--"

"Gala." I stated, referencing a story Blueblood always told me. "...Grand...Galloping...Gala."

Blueblood glared at me, scanning my hands. "...Why do you even have those!?" He threw his hoof out, nearly stabbing himself on the pliers. "You don't work!"

I looked down at the needle-nose pliers and lifted them up, taking one grip in each hand. "Because it makes a funny sound." I stated, opening and closing the pliers with extreme speed. Soon enough the air was filled with an incessant tak tak tak tak. Blueblood merely continued to glare.

"...You have the mentality of a five-year old." He stated, turning back to hanging my flags. "No...four at most."

I stopped clapping the tool together and tossed it down. "Look...it's fun alright! Maybe that's why your single--"

"Stop reminding me!"

"Stop complaining about it!" I shot back, grabbing the base of his tail. "Seriously...try, I guarantee you'll find someone!"

Blueblood shook me off. "I did alright! A mare from Saddle Arabia!"

I let go of his tail, laughing gently. "That's great! Who is she?"

Blueblood took a few steps back, pulling at his weird tux thing. "...A...It's a political marraige.... I haven't even seen her yet, but I know what--"

"Blueblood...seriously...."

He stared at me, glaring at first but eventually settling into a frown. "...I know...."

I scratched my head with my pinkie nail. "Why didn't you ever try to get back with that white mare? The one from the gala?"

Blueblood scoffed, "Rarity? Last time I spoke with her she never wanted to see me again."

"And that was how long ago?" I asked, tugging on a freshly hung Aland flag. "Like three years?"

Blueblood lowered his head. "Three and a half."

"Blue, go talk to her. I mean, even if you just apologize it's worth something."

Blueblood pulled a hammer from his saddlebags and set it down. "I told myself I'd move on, and--"

"Well then move on. But Jesus Christ, you talked about this girl to me, like two years after it happened, something about her must bug you!"

"...I told you what happened...she insulted me, threw pie in my face...and...I got laughed at, went home, grumbled about it then...I just thought about why she did it. I wish I had been drunk then, it would have given me an excuse."

I put my hands on my hips. "Seriously? I mean, are you gonna bite the bullet or you juts gonna sit there like a sad sack?"

Blueblood growled angrily and started off towards the entry, leaving me behind in the spacious hall of my racist fort. "That brings up the question, is it better to take advice from a lunatic, or remain a sane sad sack. ...I'll think about it, see if she even remembers my name."

"All I'm saying is, it couldn't hurt. You're starting from zero, so you really can't go any lower." I flicked my nails off my palm. "My advice, tell her she's pretty. And treat her better than you treat yourself."

"I'm trying!" Blueblood yelped, stomping his hoof. "I'm here helping you! I'm trying to make a television show! I'm doing good things now!"

"Stop telling me and start telling the people you're trying to get at!" I shouted, reaching down and poking him in the tux. "Get--your dick--wet."

Blue just stood there, a sour expression on his face as he gingerly brushed off his fake shirt. "So what...just tell her I've decided to move on with my life, tell her about--"

"No, don't boast! Just bring it up casually, ask her what she's been doing, stop being so self important. Shit like that."

Blue stopped as he reached the front door. "You're insufferable, you know that right?"

"Yet you keep coming back." I laughed, "Seriously though Blueboy, good luck."

He nodded a few times. "And what about you? You seemed to have problems keeping someone in bed, what are you doing with that little stallion who was hanging around?"

I rubbed my hands together, "Cork? Well he went home...but he's literally the only one who actually apologized for being a huge anus. I don't know...it's probably just a crush, so...yeah I don't know." I rubbed my arms, my skin starting to pinken up from the contact. "...Damn I'm white...."

Blueblood scratched at the ground, "Well that's all fine, but you're pushing me to actually settle down...I feel like it's only fair I do the same."

I laughed loudly, "Ha, I'm not- I- not romantic...I mumbled, "I like to play dressup...have a little fun...but I'm not the...I don't date, besides...dinners are way too boring." I wrung my hands together. "I tried to actually date a griffon, he took me out for coffee and I ended up drawing on the napkins. Besides, I don't complain about it. You were the one that was bitching about getting turned down by a commoner."

"Yes...yes I did. Still don't like it, but I've been working on it since before you were here, since before humans were around. It's been a long time, and- I mean...I'm from Canterlot damn it, I'm not some hick that got dressed up, I have expectations to fit!"

"For who?" I asked, slipping my hands into the sash that ran around my waist and kept my dress from flying up. "You do realize anyone who likes you when you act like that is going to be an equally huge dick...like...bigger than...bigger than Mr. Big Dick, and he had a big dick."

"Stop saying dick." Blue commanded, putting his hoof on my thigh. "Just...stop."

"I've got dick on the brain! like you've got white mare pussy on yours!" I shouted, overexaggerating. "No but I know how Rarity looks and...well, I'd tap it."

"You're a lascivious manic with a fetish for bright colors!" Blue shot back, leaning towards my chest, my being short and Blue's being a bit tall meant he was head height with my neck. "And you're pale!"

"You're a stuck up asshole that complains louder than a leaking anus!"

"You can't go past the second date without sticking a metal tube into somepony's urethra!"

"And you can't get to second base!"

Blueblood glared at me, our usually well meaning spats could sometimes get a little intense. "...You have a fetish for flags."

I locked up, glaring down with a cartoonishly large scowl. "...Get out."

Blueblood leaned towards me, a snotty smile on his face. "I can admit I've been a prick, but oh, insult my flag fetish and suddenly--"

I cut him off, reaching out and grabbing the tip of an East German flag. "This is not a fetish!"

Blueblood looked around the room, stopping to scan each of the flags that hung from every available wall. "This looks like a fetish."

"It's not a sex thing!" I shouted, "Blueblood you're being a dick, and not the fun, campy kind of dick!"

"Well I'm sorry!" He shouted back, "...I'm just sick of you talking about her! I know she's pretty, I know I was a dumb, I'm trying to unbecome that!"

"Fine...." I ducked down and started to hug Blue. "But unbecome isn't a word."

"Could you just agree with me for once?!" Blood yelped, trying to escape my hug.

"Could you be right once in a while!?"

"Could you--"

"Hug me bitch!" I shouted, quickly ending our spat with a soft hug. I pulled Blue's head over my shoulder, rocking for just a moment before letting go. "There...we good?"

Blood took a deep breath. "Fine, I'm fine...."

"Good, now start with something nice. Like, buy her something small as a peace offering. Ice cream...chocolates, something like that."

Blue tapped his hooves on the ground. "You know it's not as easy as talking to you...with you there's nothing at stake."

"I'm sure you could say something to make me legitimately mad at you."

Blue nodded, "Yes, but I'd have to actually try. With her...there's a decent chance I'm just going to stick my hoof in my mouth and have to walk out like an idiot!"

I put my hand on his golden head. "Look...don't wear a tux, wear something a little more casual, bring her a gift, say sorry, ask for a number then go. You'll either get another chance or you won't, and all that's at stake is a five dollar box- sorry...five bit, box of chocolates. Ten if you mean that apology." I laughed, the joke nearly going right over his head. "...Anyways, you sure you don't want to stay? It's late, Cork already went--"

A loud banging cut me off. "Hey!? Hello!? Come on I need some help here!" Cork's voice cried out, followed by another round of loud knocks. "Please!"

Blue cocked an eyebrow. "Didn't he go home two hours ago? Seems odd for him to just show up like this, no?"

I felt my lips tug into a small grimace. "Well he's yelling at the front door, so...I'm gonna guess it's important." I slowly walked around Blue, taking the door handle in hand and slowly pulling it open.

Cork was sitting on my porch, eyes bloodshot and tear stained, a small sack next to his flank. He slowly picked his head up, "...I got kicked out!" He blurted out, nearly leaping at me. "They saw me go inside, they told my damn parents and they kicked me out!" He yelped, lowering his entire body to the ground. "Please...I've got no where to go...."

I locked up, slowly turning my head to Blueblood. "...Hey so...sorry, but it looks like I won't have an extra bed...."

Blueblood nodded solemnly, "To be honest I'd rather not stay in this town longer than I have to." He stepped onto the threshold. "I'll let you know how it goes with Rarity...and...don't sound or dock or whatever you do to stallions...."

I glared at him. "Blueblood...."

He rolled his eyes, walking off into the night and leaving me alone with the softly sobbing stallion. Cork looked up at me, pleading with me. "Please...I won't call you a foreigner, I won't bug you, just please...I need someplace to stay before I can call somepony!"

I felt a bit guilty, and with a bit of sorrow I held the door open. "Sure...I've got an futon somewhere." I let the short stallion in, closing the door behind him and sealing my fate for the next few hours. But if it was eve a little bit my fault, I felt obligated to help. And I couldn't just like an adorably halfhearted racist to freeze in the fall wind, I wasn't heartless.

Kink

I looked around my entry, the large room still littered in bags and strewn about blankets. Most of my bags were still packed, and only my clothes and a futon were unpacked. Makeup, nicknacks, my writing and drawing equipment was all still packed up along side my special bag. Cork's had joined the pile, sitting open with a stuffed dog sitting half in and half out.

Cork was roaming around my entry, looking around like mad. "...I saw a phone around here...I know I did." He muttered to himself, walking up to me. "There is a phone, like an old phone, pony phone, right?"

I stretched my arms, my joints popping loudly. "Phone...why do you need a phone?"

Cork shook his head sadly. "...I need to call my sister...she might be able to get them to let me back home...."

"Oh...I think it's in the hall with the green flag with the squiggly text." I pointed towards the hall into the main den. "...This place is so huge, I don't even know."

Cork frowned softly. "Well...I'll find it. I don't 'ave much choice." He turned to the hall trotting quickly off.

I couldn't help but stare at his flank. He was strong, still short, but he had a nice look to him. "...Back that ass up...." I mumbled, framing him with my fingers. "...Fucking destroy that ass...." I bit my lip, running my hand over my stomach. "...Easy Em...easy."

I rubbed my wrists and started digging through my clothes and finding a pair of sport shorts and a frilly bra. "...God damn it...." I grumbled, quickly realizing I was out of proper sleeping attire. "Hey Em, let's sleep dressed up like a whore! Good idea, Em, great way to keep from breaking that nerd's heart! ...I need a washing machine...."

I pulled my shirt off, tossing it into a pile and quickly flinging my pants off into it as well. I looked down, my black underwear making my skin blinding in comparison. I felt a bit of shame being able to see my toes, the curse of being not only short but tiny meant I didn't have much up top. Just enough to make me wish I had more and enough to jiggle. I let out an angry huff and undid my near pointless bra, pulling on the oddly comfortable lace one.

I felt a little exposed changing in my entry, but it was late, I had brushed my teeth, I wasn't leaving this room until I had eight hours. I yanked my old panties down and swooped on the shorts, pulling them tight and letting out a tired sigh. My day was finally done, now all that was left was sorting out the bed situation and getting to sleep.

I lumbered over to my bags, my futon laying in the middle. I only had one place to sleep, but I wasn't above sleeping with the harmless nerd or across my bags. Cork had started on a bed frame in the back, but he was working with scrap wood and I wasn't expecting miracles within the few hours he'd finally walked inside.

Either way I needed to sort out my bed. I collected my clothes in a pile and set them near the hallway to the back yard. I had more clothes in a storage unit back home, but I was going to end up wearing bondage gear if I couldn't sort out some way to wash my stuff.

I hurried back to my futon, cleaning off a few crumbs and thinking of what to do. I really didn't feel right leaving the little dork sleeping on my toys or my drawing equipment. I didn't really like the idea of sharing my already cramped bed, but hugging a pony for a night could be worse, and I really couldn't throw him out after he got kicked out because of me.

As I bent over my bed something started tugging on my panties. "...What the fu--" A loud snap and a sharp pinch made me jerk forward, nearly tripping on my bed. "Fuck!" I shot forward, my body jiggling as I bolted away from the sudden snap. I spun around, finding Cork with a bright red band over his muzzle. "Did you just snap my panties!? You little shit!"

Cork shop upright. "I didn't--"

I slapped him across the cheek, making him wobble off to the side. "Asshole!" I whirled around and pulled my pillow up. "Touch my ass!? You have a death wish!?"

"I--" I cut him off, slamming the pillow into the side of his head. "Hey! I- ow, stop it!"

I assailed the short stallion, backing him into the door as I wailed on him with the pillow. "Psycho, nutcase, weirdo!"

"Hey hey hey, stop it!" He yelped, batting at the pillow with his hooves. "Stop!"

"Touch my ass, balls the size of grapefruits but a brain the size of a chickpea!" I screamed, swinging the pillow into the side of his head and causing him to stumble backwards. "You got five seconds to give me a reason not to kick your ass out!"

Cork took a few steps back, shaking his head and tossing his mane about. "Oi, I get it, no touch! I'm sorry, alright!?"

"No, not alright!" I shouted, stomping my foot. "You don't touch people you don't know! I let you inside because you're not a terrible person, and you turn around and snap my shorts!? Do you want to die?!"

Cork backed against my door. "No! I just...I- you were bending over...and you have...I mean, I thought maybe we could--"

"I know what you want! Believe me, you're a little obvious about it!" I threw the pillow at him, storming up to the flustered stallion and glaring at him. "There's a lot of reasons it won't work, but starting by snapping my shorts is a surefire way to get plugged by a twelve gauge!"

Cork reared up, plastering his back against the wall. "I'm sorry alright! I didn't think you'd get so mad about it!"

"You thought I'd like it, just like everyone else I knew!" I shot back, slapping the wall next to his head and spinning around. "You're such a prick...."

Cork shook his head, a chain jingling against his neck. "I'm really sorry alright..you're walking around like that...you invited me over, I made assumptions. Look...if you want to kick me out I won't blame you, I can sleep on a bench until my sister gets here."

I flopped down on my futon, pushing my dyed hair away from my face. "Look...just, don't be an asshole. I--"

"Can I ask...what would you have done?" Cork asked, walking slowly over. "I mean...I heard you when you were talking about me."

"When I joke about you? You thought I was serious about all that?" I asked, my brow flat as could be. "I mean seriously...you're asking me if I'd snap someone's panties...aren't you?"

"Well I said what if I--"

"You wear panties?" I jeered, "That's cute...." I groaned, mocking him and testing his demeanor. "Little frilly kinds?"

Cork took a deep breath, his voice wavering between proper English and pissed off cockney. "Right...I deserved that, but I'm- okay...so, can I ask it?"

I flicked my wrist, holding my hand out dismissively. "Sure...then I'll show you why it wont work, besides you being a xenophobic prick and a pony."

Cork flinched back slightly. "Uh...alright.... Would you...since I got kicked out and all, let me stay here?"

"Oh...not what I thought you were going to ask." I snapped, aw bit of happy surprise in my words. "Sure, but you have to help make this place less shitty. I need furniture, stuff, I mean...if you want to help pay rent this place is big enough that we could both live here and never see each other."

"Right...right, I knew the people who owned this place before that they did the same thing. But...second question...would you...ever, if we got over this little bump in the path, ever see--"

"Holy shit...just ask it." I groaned, throwing my head back and staring at the ceiling. "Grow a pair!"

"Well I don't know how to ask it! I've never done this with a human!" Cork shouted, stomping his hoof and causing his red mane to jostle. "Mares are easy! You just ask, but griffons always expect something, and I don't know toss about what--"

"Ask it!"

"Date!? Hang out!? Shag!?" Corked shouted, jerking forward with each yelp. "That what you wanted?!"

I held my arms out, "Yes! Was it so hard!?" I reached over towards my special bag. "Now let me, in two simple words-" I found one of my old employers crafts, "-ruin any thought you had of being with me." I held the fantasy tongue dildo in my hand, gripping the fake tongue hard and letting the smooth material grace my palm. "Bad, Dragon!" I shouted, slamming the dragon tongue dildo against the floor and leaving it for Cork to see. "This, all this stuff in this bag-" I waved my hand at the special bag, "- leathers, whips, toys, everything in there has ruined any relationship, because they always get scared when I pull them out!"

Cork stared in awe at the molded dragon mouth, tongue jutting through the lips in a lewd fashion. "Uh...I don't...what is that thing?"

I looked at the black monstrosity, "A dildo, a dishwasher safe anal dildo. I have about three of these, color coordinated for where they go, and they're great nice and slathered!" I shouted with a decent amount of ire in my voice. "Grinding my hips, letting two work my insides like I deserve! And then there's the one I use on my partners!" I crossed my arms, looking at my bag. "...I've dated three ponies, ten men, two women, and a griffon, each one pussied out when I tried to get serious." I shook my head, "They say they love me, then when I try to get them into something new they split, too afraid to trust me and let me have some fun!"

Cork swallowed hard, causing a large lump to travel down his throat. "I- ...are you talking about--"

"Sodomizing men, dressing them in drag, putting makeup on them and riding their faces, which might I add I only got to do once!" I pointed back at the bag. "I've had one girl with enough stones to keep up with my kink, and I guarantee you if you ask me out, and we do end up in bed, you're going to run, and I'm never going to forgive you!"

Cork coughed softly. "But...why? I mean, if things don't work out later then, that's later!"

"But I'm warning you now!" I shot back, "I'm warning you now it won't work, and if you get my hopes up and pussy out we're done as friends, as- as- as lovers, as anything! I won't even speak to you again, because I won't have my heart broken again! No more fake promises!" I screamed, tearing up ever so slightly. "No more!"

Cork slowly tapped his hooves against the ground. "Uh...I'm not- are you crying?" He asked, slowly stepping over. "Are you alright?"

I tried to push him away, only batting at the air. "I'm fine! Just...you're a prick."

Cork stood before me, shifting left and right. "Um...so, if I- like...how far do you usually go? Can I like...if I try, can I still say no?"

I took a deep breath, holding my hands out to brace myself on some invisible walls. "Cork, if you made it past the first day, you'd be braver than half the other men I've met, but it won't happen."

Cork took a deep breath, slowly walking up to me and throwing a hoof around my back, pulling me against his torso. "I uh...you're really cute, if you couldn't tell...and maybe I- I mean, what's it like? What would you do to me?"

I pushed him away. "You smell like woodchips...." I scooched back onto my futon, leaving place for the short stallion. "Look, I'll, you- I- it's tight, hot, starts out painful but after a while you get used to it and it's just so nice having something so warm and slippery sliding in and out of your tender little hole, your body trying to make room and- I- ...it's hard to explain without- I mean you especially, you don't have an inny, just a tiny little pecker."

Cork shifted his backside carefully. "Uh...I have to admit, the prospect of having something up my ass isn't exactly pleasent, but maybe I can--"

"Cork, you try to date me, either something is going up your ass at some point, or you're going to get thrown out on your balls." I pushed my foot against his chest, "I'm not one sided, I'd...trust me when I say you'd get yours, but this is what I do, who I am, and if you can't adjust, don't expect me to do the same."

Cork shifted about like mad. "I just- look, I've played dress up as a foal, had a few weird times, but never anything near my asshole. I'm, pretty open minded, but that--"

"Are you willing to let me do whatever I want, so long as I don't stick something up your ass?" I scratched his chest with my orange painted toes, "Damn I'm pale...I should tan...."

Cork looked down at my foot on his chest. "Oi, can I ask, do all humans paint their thingies? I've seen like three, but you're the first one to actually come by. I mean, is it like hoof painting?"

I shrugged, "I don't know what that is, but I'm gonna guess yes." I looked down at his beige hooves, hiding just under his matching fetlocks, "Tell you what, you want a chance?"

Cork nodded softly, "I'd like to...try? I mean, I'd like to try."

"Can I paint your hooves and dress you up?"

Cork looked around nervously. "Is this--"

"Just clothes, nothing around your junk." I stated, continuing to scratch his chest with my toes, "Oh my god this feels good...uh, no, just clothes girls clothes, but nobody but me is gonna see."

Cork stared down at my feet. "I- so if I do that we can date? I can have a shot?"

I looked up at him with a soft frown. "Sure...but that doesn't mean you can just touch me out of nowhere, this is a tentative alliance at best."

Cork lifted his right hoof up, looking around for a bit. "Hardly an alliance...but if you want to dress me in mare's clothes, I'm gonna do this." Cork leaned his head down, pecking the top of my foot.

Things fell to a frigid level as he stepped back, "...Ballsy, stupid, and I should hit you for that...."

"Are you going to?" Cork asked with a nervous smile.

I shrugged. "Kissing my foot after asking to date me is a little different from randomly touching my ass. And you pretty much just sealed your day tomorrow to me." I pulled my foot back, "Ever wear a skirt?"

Cork laughed gently. "Does a kilt count?"

I snickered gently. "A miniskirt is a bit different, but you'll look good. A little lipstick, some nail polish and a bikini and you'll look great."

Cork popped his head back. "Wait...lipstick?"

I nodded. "I'll let you pick the color. Now, two rules before I knock out," I stood up, waving my hand at my breasts. "Don't touch here," I moved my hand to my waist. "Or here. You saw that shotgun I bought, I wake up with you hovering over me I'm going to end you."

Cork coughed roughly as I sat down. "Well you'd probably go to The Rock, I mean who is going to believe that you killed me in self defense?"

I stared at the little pony. "Was that a threat?"

Cork shot bolt stiff. "Wait, wait, wait, no! No!" He shook his head hard, "I'm just- I--"

"You're a dork." I stated coldy.

"I really am.... But I meant, you're in Trottingham...you've seen how we treat foreigners...you'd be sent to a cell even if you did nothing wrong."

I shook my head. "Why? Why so racist?" I asked, laying down and making room for Cork again. "You can lay down if you want, I don't have another bed, just face back to back alright?"

Cork took a deep breath. "I don't know, just, always been ponies, and we're not supposed to allow anypo- any other race. I mean, even pegasus aren't exactly liked around here."

"That's weird dude, that's like, really weird."

Cork walked up onto the futon, laying down with his back pressed against my own. "I know."

I stared up at the lights. "...God damn it...."

"What's wrong?"

I got to my feet, pushing off Cork's wither and walking to the lights. "Why aren't clappers standard!? Bullshit non-wireless functionality." I flipped the lights off, "I wish my phone still worked." I grumbled, flopping down on my beck next to Cork. "I wish I had a lot of stuff."

Cork leaned his head around. "I wish I didn't get kicked out."

"You're the one who came out here on his own. You knew what could happen."

"I know, I'm starting to be glad it happened." He pushed his back against my side, rubbing his soft coat against my skin. "You're really pretty, for a human."

I looked over at him. "Why'd you have to qualify it with, for a human?"

"Uh, because I find ponies...generally more attractive--"

"Cork, shut it, before you end up with a ball gag in your mouth and a ring around your dick." I threw my arm out, stretching my limbs.

"...I like your wiggly things." Cork mumbled, looking up towards the fort of bags that surrounded our heads. "The painted wigglies."

"Toes, and fingers." I clarified.

"Sure."

Things grew a bit quiet, Cork breaking the silence like a bunch of restless kids talking through the night. "Hey, what's a Bad Dragon?"

I chuckled softly. "It's a company I used to work for. I bought a bunch of their stuff before I came over, and I'm still technically promoting them...with an assumed name of course." I shifted against him. "Can't have a children's show creator be affiliated with an adult toy company."

Cork hummed, "Okay...so what do they do?"

I locked up. "They make special dildos. Like, the tongue one you saw, they have dog dildos, dragon dildos, sharks, ponies, aliens, all sorts of stuff." I chuckled gingerly. "They even have these things that go over a dick, and make it all funky, like a sleeve thing that makes it feel different."

Cork leaned his head around, staring at me with a single green eye. "You live in a fascinating world."

"Bitch, they make them here too now! They make them in Canterlot, and most end up going to Manehattan."

"I meant more that, it's something that exists, when here if you wanted to you could just shag a dragon."

I laughed loudly. "Oh, and they- they make these things that are like, like pussy flashlights." I held my stomach as I snickered, "Oh man, I wonder if they did research over here, they totally should!"

"What, like molding-"

"Molding actual dragon dicks and pussy, yes! I mean, they make asshole versions, pussy versions, dildos, why not spend the money to get it right and just rake in the cash!?"

"Because they have really, really sharp teeth...and a lacking sense of humor--"

"Oh my god, and the mouth one! It's so creepy, just a pair of silicon lips in a flashlight!" I shivered and rubbed my back against him. "Butch watching a cock slide through it, watching it up close...it's so--"

Cork slid away from me. "So you're like, a super pervert, aren't you?"

"Oh big time." I pushed closer to him. "Regretting your choice yet?"

"Not gonna lie, a little scared." Cork cornered himself against my bags, trying to escape me. "But...you seem nice, and interesting to say the least."

I nodded, "You take a dildo up the ass for me, you get something amazing. Or, I like to think I'm pretty amazing."

Cork laughed nervously. "Awesome is a better word, amazing is a bit too positive, and it's rather awe inspiring to hear you talk so adamantly for sex toys."

"Oh shut up...." I turned away, keeping him pinned against the side of the futon as I tried to fall asleep.

"What? Are you going to sit here and tell me a cock up a stallion's ass isn't terrifying?"

I locked up. "I- uh...I mean like, I can't imagine it would be too bad."

"The thought is already horrid, I can't imagine the act would be much better."

"Ever ask your girl-mare- person friend for anal?"

Cork didn't answer. "So...goodnight...."

"That's what I thought, nerd."

Phonecalls

I finished up in the bathroom, turning to the mirror before leaving. I looked like an absolute mess, no makeup, hair a mess, stallion saliva on my ear from the sleeping nerd. Normally I would have exploded at him, sucking and nibbling on my ear while I slept, but the dork was knocked out cold while doing it, asleep and suckling out of comfort instead of sexuality. I patted down my head, sorting out my hair and pulling it down and running my thumb over my bright orange highlight. "Oh ballsacs...."

The bright orange streak in my hair was slowly fading, my black hair taking over. "Hmm...maybe orange or...something nice." I didn't generally like having black hair with such pale skin, it just felt bland when compared to the bright colors the ponies had.

I did what I could, changing into my last pair of panties and pulling off my bra. "...Damn you mom! Damn you- dad...." I felt a bit bad about calling out my dad to the unlistening gods, it wasn't his fault I had no idea how to do laundry. I didn't mind too much, but I couldn't go outside, I couldn't really call my business partners, I was stuck in a house with a dork of a stallion and a pair of panties.

"Cork, enjoy the show...you're gonna earn it." I mumbled, stepping out of the bathroom and hurrying towards the den. Cork was still passed out in the entry, and he was going to stay like that until I could sort out my bags and find everything I needed. I would need makeup, the clothes I kept in case I needed to be a pony or had a good date. It struck me as odd, the ease of turning from human to pony, pony to human, griffon to pony and pony to diamond dog. It seemed like if you wanted to be something else, you could be something else at will.

It was just a matter of one-hundred bits and a trip to a qualified unicorn and you could be whatever you wanted to be, from a pure pony to a hybrid dragon griffon, all depending on your fancy. I even turned into a stallion a few times just to try out some clothes, make sure they would fit and turned back the same day, just to eventually dress up a sexual partner and trot them around before getting into it.

I hurried towards the living room, where I was preparing to send Cork into a world of femininity. But as I crossed the hall, my breasts barely bouncing and causing me to feel a little self-conscious, the phone rang. I had no idea what to do, no one had my number besides Blue, and I wasn't expecting anything from him for a day or two. "Oh god...please don't be a death threat."

I walked up to the phone, slowly pulling the receiver up and to my ear. "...Hello?"

A sharp voice snapped across the line. "Cornelia? Who is this?"

I wrapped the cored around my finger. "Uh, I'm not...who is Cornelia?"

There was a high pitched whine from the other end of the phone. "Thorn stop it! Leaf, give that back to him!" The phone went scratchy as the sound of hooves filled the background. "Hello?"

"I'm still here." I let the cord go, moving my hand to the table where the body of the phone sat. "Who is this?"

"Roseluck, who's this?"

I scratched my head, looking at my nails in the time between our chatting. "Emmy, Em, Marylin. How did you get this number?"

"Look, I got a call last night, my brother--"

"Ooooh," I smiled wide, "You're here for Cork."

The phone went silent, the background static almost like crickets. "Cork? Is he still calling himself that?"

I stifled a laugh, "Is that not his name?"

Roseluck chuckled loudly. "His name's Cornelia, he always told everyone to call him Cork."

I laughed softly, covering my mouth to keep from being loud. "Oh god...that's amazing."

"I know right? But, who are you again?"

I bit my knuckle, debating on what to say. "Uh...we're.... We're kinda dating, starting to date, but I let him stay here when he got kicked out."

A babbling voice took over the phone, "Momma- home--"

"We're gonna go visit Uncle Cork, okay?" Roseluck mumbled, "Oh, uh...so, you're dating, he's staying there.... Uh, do you have room for three?"

I scratched my head. "Uh, three?"

The phone went gravely. "I'm gonna come over to sort out our parents, but I can't leave the kids in Ponyville alone."

I coughed roughly, my throat growing dry. "Kids? I can't really--"

"My husband is out of town, my friends are busy, and this is just a little bit of a problem. So...we could get a hotel, Grimm could help us."

I twirled the cord with my finger. "Uh, who's Grimm?"

"Grimm, the griffon. he runs a hotel, hostel, thingy."

I drew a rough breath through my teeth. "I'm sorry, did you say griffon?"

"Yes, I mean, that's why I was calling. I didn't know if he was going to end up staying at Grimm's. It's nice of you to--"

"So he had somewhere else he could go?" I asked, grinding my teeth when I was done speaking.

"Grimm? Oh yeah, if you get in trouble he's always got rooms. And he's been around so long nopony even cares what he is anymore!"

I smiled wide, my teeth groaning as I bit down. "...Good to know...thank you." I switched hand, my fist starting to hurt as I pressed it into the table. "I don't really have beds, but there are plenty of rooms, and I've got the money to move in. I just--"

"You're not a pony, are you?"

I shook my head, "Nope, I have hands."

"Ah, that makes sense. Trottingham is like that, I hope it wasn't too bad for you."

I looked to the window, spotting my Zulu flag on the wall. "It's been...interesting. There's a lot of spit on my porch."

Roseluck chuckled. "I'll see if I can't help out. Wait, so you don't have any beds?"

"I have money," I flicked a finger out, "a home," another finger, "work and friends," two more fingers, "but I can't go to the store."

"Trottingham...you'll never change." Roseluck snickered softly. "I'm sure I could help out...just, can't really- are you good with kids?"

I smiled wide. "I'm the creative director of Twilight Time, have you--"

Roseluck gasped loudly. "Oh wow, that's great! My kids love that show!"

I pulled off an equally perky gasp. "Oh my god, that's awesome! I- do you--"

"I let them watch it all the time! Can I ask, when's season two!?"

I pushed the phone away, giggling to myself. "Okay, when can you get here? Because we're gonna- I- this is gonna be so fun!"

"I'll probably get there in an hour or two. Should I bring lunch? We could--"

She was cut off by a loud, thung, "Jesus-fuck!" I shouted, flinching away from the window. "What the hell!?" I set the phone down, hurrying over to the window and spotting a few ponies throwing eggs at me, not at the window, or the house, but at me. I felt my gut burn at the extremely aggressive display. "Oh fuck no." I ran back to the phone. "Roseluck? I'm gonna have to call you back!"

"Oh...okay, is it--"

"It's the manor with the sales post outside, just be careful, ponies outside, angry, need to go!" I slammed the phone down, running towards the entry. "Sons of bitches...swear to god!" I thought back to the shotgun, wondering how far the pellets would go into the sky. Or a baseball bat to the done, or I could slam a high heel into their head.

I stopped before reaching the entry, my feet slapping against the floor. I looked down, finding my tits bare and bouncing softly. "...Oh...right." I looked up, spotting a few piles of dirty clothes. "Uh...revenge...or decency...revenge...decency...." I held my hands up, teetering them left and right. "...Damn it...."

Author's Note

ROSE CHILDREN DOTH COMETH!

Toes

I sat in the den, staring at Cork. "So...griffons?"

Cork pursed his lips, deep red lipstick across his face. "...Aye."

I nodded, reaching forward and applying a thin coat of blush to his cheeks. "Probably shouldn't try to hide stuff like that from me." I finished up with his face. "There, such a pretty filly."

Cork groaned softly. "So, ya don--"

I set my makeup kit before me and packed it away. I pulled out a few bottles of cherry red nail polish. "Oh no, your family is coming to come take care of you, you're gonna look pretty for them." I shook the bottle, staring devilishly at the pretty colt. "So, what did we learn?"

Cork sighed loudly and held his hoof out. "Kill Grimm before trying to do this again?"

I leaned my head back. "Wow...well that was dark."

Cork looked to the window. "It wouldn't take much. Crotchety old bastard that he is would fall over dead if you breathed on him."

I stared at Cork. "Do I need to slap you?"

Cork snorted. "Please don't...." He looked to me with a broken frown. "Haven't you done enough?"

I chuckled and reached out for his hoof, taking it in my hand and dragging a bright red streak over his hoof, just under his fetlocks. "Nope." I painted along his hooves, bright red sat against his cream coat. "It looks good."

Cork looked down at his hoof and mewled loudly. "Please don't make me answer the door--"

"Naw. I'll get it." I finished up with his hoof and move on to the next. "I hid all my naughty stuff and kinda washed my outfit. I'll be good." I stretched my legs, Cork sitting between me. "You know I do love meeting people, just because your people are mean to me, doesn't mean I hate you."

Cork groaned as I finished up with hooves. "Celestia no... I look like a strawberry."

I scratched my head. "A little." I capped my polish and looked down to my toes. "Hey, so you have a foot fetish or something?"

Cork snapped his head up to me. "What?!"

I curled my toes, drawing his eyes down. "You've been looking at my toes since I sat down."

Cork swallowed hard, the knot traveling down his gullet rather noticable. "Uh...no--"

"Liar." I lifted up my foot, scooting back and pressing it against his chest. He reared up, straightening his forelegs to try and get away. "...You're a perv--"

"You've got a box of dildos!" he shrieked, sitting up and lifting his forelegs up. "What's your issue?"

I took a deep breath. "A lot. Less than Maine, more than you." I scratched his chest with my toes. "Now are you gonna lick my toes?"

Cork locked up and stared me dead in the eyes. "What--"

"You can if you want." I slid my other foot under his ass, warming them. His soft coat and fat ass pressed hard against my toes. "I'm showered, we're alone. You made it pretty clear you're interested. Now's your shot."

Cork grew red. "Uh, I don't--"

"You got a few hours, now or in a week, jackass." I smiled at him, rubbing his chest with my foot. "Besides...giving a footjob to a pretty little filly would be pretty cute."

"I'm not a--"

"You're in lipstick, and guess what, unless you want to have your sister to see you with two tails, you're gonna do what I want." I rubbed his chest. "Did I ever tell you about Maine? She used to work with me, she always said I'd never have a boyfriend." I pushed my foot up to his chin. "I think she's getting taken down by a mare now, so look how that all turned out. We both got mares, only mine has a pretty little penis."

Cork was glowing, made all the worse be the blush I'd applied. "I don't--"

"You said you wanted to date me, to stay here, you've been pretty clear about what you want." I moved my foot down, sliding it down his chest and over his warm belly. "Maine liked to be on bottom, me...not so much." I felt my heel brush Cork's cocktip. "So, you've got two options, get out, or get ready."

Cork caught his breath as I pressed my toes against the base of his cock, hot and cozy. "Really? I don't think this is the best time."

"Then leave. I already told you, if you want to stay here, with me, you're going to earn it." I slid my toes down his cock, letting the ball of my foot rest against his slimy cock tip with my toes curled around the edge of his head. "So, what's it gonna be?"

Cork stared at me with a heavy frown. "Is this because I lied?"

I smiled and rubbed his cock with my foot. "Kinda, and plus this is actually kinda fun. Kinda sticky, but warm." I flexed my toes under his ass. "By the way, when I get a bed, you're sleeping on my toes. That's not even a question."

Cork dropped down to all fours, lowering his head to watch my foot. "Can it wait? Somepony is gonna end up at the door and--"

"You did lie about all this, and called your sister to take care of your lie." I slid back, my right foot slimy with precum. "God I'm horny.... Always at the worst times." I adjusted myself, something not great happening between my legs. "I'll be good, perfect little happy girl, but you're going to put out."

Cork took a deep breath and watched as I pulled my feet together, forming a small slit between the soles of my feet. "What? I don't-- are you in heat?"

I scoffed. "Pff, no! It's like, the opposite of heat, sorta...." I scratched my head and laid my feet on the ground. "Reproductively speaking, I uh...." I cocked my head. "I'm not actually sure. I usually get pretty emotional later in the day, so...that'll be fun. Hope you like getting yelled at." I laughed softly and held my stained foot for him. "Alright, enough of that crap. Here, clean up."

Cork stared at my foot. "What--"

"I got cock stuff on my foot. Clean it up before it tracks on the carpet."

Cork's frown turned even further downward. "Ple--"

I stared at him flatly. "Lick my foot."

Cork huffed and sputtered. "This is bloody pissing weird." He leaned forward and pressed his nose against my foot, slowly opening his mouth. "I'm sorry--"

"Oh shut up." I slid my foot down, his tongue wet and warm against my soft skin. It only lasted a moment, but I managed to send his miniload right back into his mouth. "If your sister can stop the town from hating me, we'll be eve--"

"Ah Celestia no!" He rolled back. "Bloody salty!"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my legs. "Oh don't be a baby. You're the one who got all excited about me teasing you--"

"I taste death!"

"It's your fucking cum! If it tastes that bad you're never gonna get anything from me...." I laughed and stood up. I looked towards the window out into the back yard. "Oh god...I miss the outside...and people." I put my hands on my hips. The outside was calling to me, my humor lost to the empty rooms. I needed ponies, people, anything that wouldn't spit on me.

I turned to face Cork, spitting and sputtering on his back. "I wonder if he could blow himself--" A loud knock came from deep in the manor. "Hmm, test for another day."

Bed

I walked back into the den, left to wipe spit from my eyes as I stepped towards Cork. "Cork...why do they hate me?"

Cork looked up, his hooves bright red. "Because you're different...."

I wiped my sleeve off on my hip. "Eeuugh. I don't think your sister is gonna make it tonight." I walked over to him and sat on the floor. "I thought that was her...just another pony to yell at me." I held my hand up. "Is it because I bought a house instead of a hut? I mean, come on!"

Cork whistled softly. "Um...no, they'd probably burn a hut down." He scratched at the carpet. "Also, I do kinda like my hooves like this. It's growing on me."

I sighed loudly and laid down on the floor. "Cool. Is it because I'm a pervert? Or...the cartoon thing? I know I'm kinda weird at first, but I managed to get Blueblood to stick around." I crossed my arms. "And you're here."

"I'm here because you're beautiful." Cork walked over and stood over my head. "And I think you could be nice...and, you know, guilt from the spitting thing." He scratched at the carpet next to my head. "So, they just spit at you and left?"

I sighed loudly. "Drive by spitting.... I mean it's not like they're trying to kill me, it's just making me slowly want to kill myself." I rubbed my face, my eyes burning lightly. "I don't know what I did to piss them off!"

Cork cringed and cocked his head. "Well...you did buy a gun."

"After your village friends started spitting at me!" I rolled onto my stomach and got onto all fours. "Seriously! The worst thing I did that day was acidentally close a door on someone's head!"

Cork leaned back. "Why!?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "I was.... I was in the bathroom--"

Cork's eyes flattened out. "You didn't lock the door?"

I turned away from his rough gaze. "I forgot. I was in a hurry, I had a vibrator inside me, it was a long day and I just.... Look, stuff happens, I'm not a perfect person on bad days, and I enjoy busting Blueblood's nads over an anvil. Okay?"

Cork rolled his eyes and laid down, belly facing me. "Sure. And mine apparently--"

"You came into my house and begged me to stay! After spitting at me!" I rolled back onto my ass and laid my head across his side. "You know exactly what you did."

Cork leaned his head around to face me. "I brought you flowers and said sorry!"

"You ripped them out of my garden!" I elbowed his stomach. "You lied about having no place to go!" I shifted around until I was laid neatly on his side, his hooves surrounding either side of me, forelegs and backlegs on opposite sides of my head. "And you keep looking at my toes!" I curled my legs up under me.

Cork sputtered a bit. "I do did that! ... I did do that, I mean." He shook his head. "Ugh, that paint stuff is giving me a headache."

"Too bad. I'm not moving." I wiggled around until I sank into place. "You're a pillow, try to move and I'll...I don't know, sounding sounds like fun."

Cork looked down at me. "What's sounding?"

I took a deep breath, slowly letting it slip past my lips. "The worst pain your will feel followed by the best orgasm of your life."

Cork jerked in place. "What?"

I shook my head. "I'll show you later...maybe tomorrow." I leaned against his belly fully. "God you're warm." I turned my head until my ears were pressed against his tender underside and left to steal his warm.

Cork wiggled around and stretched his legs. "Right, but now what?"

I licked my lips. "Like I said, I don't think your sister is going to get here today."

Cork licked his lips. "So.... I uh...."

"If you ask me for sex you're going to get something put somewhere unpleasant." I opened my eyes into a narrow glare. "Now is not really the time."

Cork huffed. "I'm sure you could--"

I sat upright. "Are you serious right now? How old are--"

"Twenty." He looked down at me with a frown. "Only twenty."

I cocked an eyebrow. "You know you're going to whimper if we do this, right? And it's not really going to last if this is all you want." I looked towards the window. "I do want something more one day, someone who will go with me on walks and--"

"You don't think I would do that?" Cork smiled at me. "I would do that in a second."

I sat upright. "You're trying to get laid pretty hardcore."

Cork laughed gently. "I know.... But I'd totally--"

I stood up and looked towards the window. "You take me camping in the woods, I help you tonight. Deal?"

Cork sat upright. "Uh, I don't think that's the best idea right now."

I turned to him with a scowl. "I'll call Blue, your sister will be here, they can watch the house. I really just need to get away right now. I can't work locked up like this."

Cork's eyes fell into a soft gaze upon my face. "Aye...I suppose. Means a lot to you?"

I let out a long breath. "I used to live in upstate New York. It was nice, if a little red neck. I miss it, and I thought this would be kinda close."

Cork bit his lip. "Then I'll take you, no bargains." He looked towards the window. "If you really want, I could take you somewhere quiet."

I took a deep breath and watched as droplets hit the glass window, the vast walled in garden of the back yard grew lush and damp as the rain started. "I want to draw again, I wanna mess with Blueblood again, I want things to be normal again." I rubbed my arm. "You promise me no one will follow me, or try to hurt me?"

Cork stood up. "Well, they do, I'm a big pony." He stomped his hoof and thrust his chest out. "Right?"

I smiled down at him. "Sure." I looked off towards my luggage. "Go find a towel...from the bathroom." I walked over and started taking my shirt off. "Leave my stuff hanging...it's sorta washed so just leave it."

Cork coughed into his hoof. "Why do I need a towel?"

I reached down into my bag and pulled out a few things. A dragon tongue molded dildo found it's way into my hand along with one latex glove. I turned to him and kissed the tip of the dragon tongue. "I think you'll figure it out."

Cork flopped down, hanging under his belly. "Uh.... Twoel-- towle-- sheet." He turned away and limped off, her back leg lifted off the ground with each step.

I laughed and shook my head. "Oh geez...I hope he moans." I pulled the glove on and stretched my fingers. "I can only hope."

Curl

"It's lube."

Cork shook his head. "That doesn't look like lube...."

I nodded and sat down behind the dragon tongue dildo sitting on the towel. "Hey, you wanted this. Be glad I didn't break out the mare panties."

Cork's face was precious, meek and worried, his hooves knocking together softly as he stepped in place. "Um, this isn't what I agreed on."

I nodded slowly. "You wanted sex...I warned you plenty of times, now are you gonna sit and let me have some fun, or are you gonna bitch out and find a hotel?" I smiled at him wide. "Your move, bingo."

Cork took a deep breath, his right hoof still scratching at the carpet slowly. "I'm bigger than that...."

I nodded. "Oh I know, I started you off small. It's also pretty squishy, nice and wiggly in your ass." I felt my stomach heat up. "Nice long tongue in your ass, all wet and slippery."

I watched Cork's face turn from afraid to horrified, his eyes wide, his body trembling. "I don't think I want to do this!"

I shrugged. "Okay." I sat back, my legs shot out like a V. "Beds are in the foyer still, I'll stay in here for the night."

Cork frowned at me. "But, I slept really good last night...it was all warm and--"

"Adorable." I leaned forward, the dildo poking my bare chest. I propped myself up with my wrists. "I actually slept pretty well too. You drooled on my hair, but hey, warm sleep is always worth it, right?"

Cork crossed his back legs, his cock peeking out slightly. "Can't we just, I don't know, do normal stuff?"

I shrugged. "This is pretty normal for me."

Cork trotted quickly with his forelegs. "So, I can stay if I don't do this?"

I shrugged. "Until your sister gets here, sure."

Cork frowned at me. "But, you're really not going to go with me if I don't do this?"

I shook my head. "I'm not looking for squishy huggy coltfriend, I have Blueblood for my squsihy hug friend, even if he doesn't like it." I smiled. "No, you want to stick around, you're gonna put out."

"That's fine! I'm offering!" Cork stomped his hooves. "I'd love that! What I don't love is having a cock up my ass!" He shook his head like a rearing stallion. "I don't want it up my ass!"

I laughed softly. "That was really horse, give a little whinny."

Cork stomped the carpet. "Stop it! Be serious!"

"I am!" I sat back and held my arms out. "There's the bed in the entry! But you're still standing here."

Cork lowered his head, his deep red mane spilling over his neck. "You were gonna use your hand things...right? I've been with a griffon once, back when I visited Ponyville. It was pretty...weird."

"Good weird." I leaned back, my hands scratching the carpet behind my back. "Always good weird with griffons--"

"But humans are soft! I know, I mean look at--"

I slapped the carpet. "Are you gonna sit on my fake dick or not?"

Cork scratched the carpet. "I thought it was a tongue--"

I threw my hands up. "You did--"

"But I don't want jelly in my ass!" He ran up to me and stomped his hooves like a little filly. "Please!"

I stared at him and leaned in, pressing my nose against his own, cold to the touch. "I'm not making you do anything." I wiggled my nose against his. "Do something."

Cork narrowed his eyes. "Oh I will--"

My stomach churned as he stepped over me. My skin burned, muscles tightened up as I swung my arm up into his chest. "Back up!"

Cork took the hit hard and scrambled back. "Oi!" He pressed his hoof against where his neck met his chest. "Ow! Why!?"

I felt myself twitch. "Don't! Don't threaten me okay! Just don't!" I hugged myself and curled my legs against my chest. "That's not okay...."

Cork's face flashed from anger to confusion, his face going from a thick bitter frown to a soft simpering one. "But you're--"

I shook my head and rested my forehead against my knees. "No...I don't force things." I grimaced, unseen. "Don't joke about that." I felt queasy. "It's not okay."

Cork stepped up to me. "Hey, you alright?" He scratched the carpet near my toes. "Marylin?"

I took a deep breath. "Just go, go sleep, you can stay and all that, just go." My voice was quick and quiet. "Just go."

I could smell the soap on my bra. "Em? ... You alright? ... Is this because of the dildo--"

"No." I shook my head, nuzzling deep into my knee. "It's not your fault. Just go."

"Em? Hey? Hey?" I felt something tap against my back. "You--"

I jerked upright. "Don't touch me!" I pushed him back. "Don't!"

Cork jumped back. "Hey! Hey...sorry--"

I shook my head, my eyes burning. "Just go--"

"Just tell me what I did!" Cork sat down. "Please, I didn't--"

"I said it wasn't you!" I pulled my legs up against my chest. "I told you it wasn't you now go!" I pointed to the door, still holding myself in a tight ball. "Go! Fucking get out!"

Cork stared at me. "No...." He stood up. "Just tell me what happened?"

I shook my head. "No. Door's over there."

Cork shook his head and walked up before me. "Tell--"

"I'll throw you out on the street!" I looked up at him, he was standing right before me, staring down at me. "I will fucking shoot you! I have a gun--"

Cork turned around and sat down behind the dildo, his back pressed against my knees. "Tell me what happened."

I took a deep breath, my body trembling as he leaned back against my shins. "You saw it! I will kill you!"

Cork wiggled his way between my legs, back pressed against my chest. "Tell me what I did--"

I started shaking my head as the warm pony flattened out against my chest and stomach. "You don't fucking get it! You don't--" I reached out and pulled him against my, my head met his and I lost my vision in his red mane. "You just don't get it...." He was warm, his hair thick. "Don't pretend like you get it."

Cork sighed loudly and tried to shift his forelegs over my arms. "Well I don't know because you're not telling me."

I took a deep breath, my eyes getting scratched by his mane. "You wouldn't get it if I told you." I took a rattling breath and lifted my chin onto his crown, the pony awkwardly laid out under my arms. "I wasn't always like this...mean, all angry and shit." I squeezed Cork's midsection tight. "I don't want to talk about it anyways."

Cork looked up, my chin slipping off his head and down to his shoulder as he wiggled upright, sitting on his haunches. "That's fine, but I'd appreciate to know what I did to set you off--"

"I wasn't triggered!" I shook my head hard, my stomach knotting up at the word. "Triggers are for PTSD victims and fat people!"

Cork looked down at me. "Wot?"

I shook my head. "Nothing." I pulled him tight again. "I didn't get triggered."

Cork huffed. "I didn't say trigger."

I lowered my head and pressed my temple against his neck. "Don't."

"I wont."

Things went quiet as I nuzzled him. "So you do realized you're in a bad position, right?"

"You were crying. What was I supposed to do?" Cork laughed nervously, his back leg twitching as he sat on his haunches. "It's gonna hurt, isn't it?"

I shook my head. "You were supposed to leave, but since you're here." I reached past him, grabbing the slick dildo and dragging it against his balls. "...Thanks for staying." I whispers, moving my free hand from his chest to his throat. He was a few inches taller than me sitting down and I made it all the worse by forcing his chin upwards. "Probably not smart for your asshole, but thank you."

Cork let out a sharp grunt as I pulled the dildo behind him, between us. "Oh--you know--Mmm-m-- Mister good pony!" His tail shot down as I slid the point of the dildo under his ass. "Okay!" His leg started beating against the towel as he wormed around in my grip. "Easy!"

I kissed his neck and rubbed his throat. "Relax...it'll hurt less going in."

He let out a soft grunt as I wormed the dildo into place under his asshole. "Fuck-buck--piss! It's warm!"

"Cold would have been worse." I kept rubbing his throat, the taught muscle fine to stroke. "Relax."

He popped up, sliding up my underwear clad body. "Trying!"

I held it in place under him. "Lower down when you're ready. Breath and just let things happen, don't fight it when it goes in, just relax."

"You say that like it's easy!" His leg kept kicking like wild.

I made sure the tip was wedged against his ass. I reached up and got a sharp whimper as my nail touched him. "You're clenching." I pulled at his hole, the warm flesh squishy to the touch. "Relax."

He snorted loudly, eyes jammed shut as he looked towards the roof. "I'm trying alright!"

I prodded him with my finger. "Am I taking your cherry?"

"I'm not a virgin--"

I kissed his neck. "That's not what I asked." I rubbed his asshole, the stallion dropping out and letting his cock rest against the towel as he slowly lowered down. "It's okay to whimper."

Cork let out a number of strange half-grunts and whimpers as I played with him. "Oh Celestia it feels weird."

I moved my hand from his ass to his hip. I took hold and slowly guided him down. "Moan...it's okay." I listened as the grunts turned to sloppy moans. "What's it like?"

Cork huffed and whimpered as he lowered down. "Sticky--sticky--sticky--"

"Mmm, feels full doesn't it?" I hung my left hand down his withers, resting across his upper chest. "Must feel good."

Cork grunted as I pulled him all the way down with my right hand. "Oh--piss!" He jerked in place as he touched the ground. "Too deep, it's gonna kill me--"

"It's not that deep." I reached across his belly and touched the lowest part where his stomach met his sheath. "Gooey stallion ass, all full and sticky just for me." I blew up past his chin. My panties were starting to get a bit damp as the warm creature under me started to whimper and adjust to the slick intruder wiggling under his every movement. "Don't cum until I tell you to."

Cork grunted and looked down at his half-hard cock. "I don't think that's gonna be a problem." His breathing was heavy, his cock hot as I slid my hands from his belly to the upper side of his cock. "Hey hey hey--"

"Fat Albert." I slid my left hand up his throat and over his mouth. "No talk." I pulled my hand tight against his lips and wrapped my right around the base of his pony cock. "No talk...."

Cork tried to open his mouth and I quickly pulled my hand flat against his mouth. "I said no talk." I took a deep breath as the hot colt under my hands grew hard and twitched under my touch. "Pretty pony...pretty pony with painted hooves." The pony's breath rushed over my fingers as he drew breath through his nose. "Come on pony, that tongue in your ass feel good?" I squeezed his meaty cock, letting him grow slowly as he dropped out of his sheath, growing from a floppy soft colt to a growing stallion.

He let out a long groan and bucked his hips, his half hard cock warm and smooth as I worked him like putty. Cork closed his eyes, his lips scrunched up as he settled back down, his leg twitching softly as he straightened out and grew to length. "Good pony...good colt." I nuzzled his neck as he mumbled and grunted, my hand squeezing up and down his cock. "Beat someone to death with that." I laughed softly, Cork bucking gently and sliding the now rock hard meat across my palm. "Look at that...hard and ready, that dildo really must feel good."

Cork tried to shake his head, restrained by my hand. "Mmm-mm--"

I laughed and dragged my hand up his cock, the throbbing meat stick already leaking out pre. "Mmmhmm, I know, squishy. You move around it drags across your insides and it just-- Mmmmm." I buried my face against his neck. "Don't you dare cum until I let you, until I tell you to." I flicked the head of his cock, making him jump and tighten up around my toy. His legs crossed as he tried to adjust. "Oh no you don't."

I parted my legs, sneaking my heels between his legs. I forced his legs apart with my own, wrapping myself around him, forcing him to present and keep quiet. "You're mine...ten, maybe fifteen minutes and one hell of a ride later you're gonna come back." I kissed his neck. "Could have run."

Cork mumbled something into my hand. I reached back and grabbed a bottle of lube. "Slippery cock all over the place." I poured some onto my hand and brought the bottle to his cock, slathering the horse in sticky fake cum. "Feeling better?" I stroked him a few times, the thick meat throbbing as I squeezed and tugged at his spotted cock.

Cork closed his eyes and breathed slowly through his nose. "Mmhmmhm...."

"Bap-ba-bah-bap." I tightened my grip and pulled up and down, stroking him, making him mumble and buck. His legs were spread wide, his balls were sitting heavily on the towel, his cock was standing tall like a flagpole as he sat on his punctured ass. "Oh god, you're adorable."

Cork just went slack against me, gently licking my palm as I squeezed him and slid my hand up and down his now greasy cock. "Remember, you cum before I tell you I'll have to do something bad."

Cork continued to lick my palm, eyes jammed shut as her bucked and tried to gleam every extra bit of touch from my strokes. I couldn't help but smile and look down at her wiggled around under me. "Don't cum."

Cork grunted, his tongue rough as he begged me. "Better not cum, better not." The heat from his cock was shooting up my arm as I sped up, going from tip to base in a flash. A loud slimy slap started to fill the room as I squeezed hard and ground him into a whimpering mess. I watched over his withers as the beast pointed straight up at me, throbbing and pink. Each time my hand passed over the ring dividing the pink head from his beige shaft was painfully noticeable.

Everything was smooth and thick, then a ring telescoping out the rest of him stood like a speedbump. Each time my fingers passed over it I gave him a squeeze, getting a jerk and a grunt, and even a lick, for my actions. "Who's a good filly?" I asked sweetly, peeking up to find him watching me watching him. "Who's a good filly?"

I moved my hand from his mouth. "Oh--fuck!" His leg tried to kick free of my foot. "I can't--"

I held his base hard, squeezing as tight as I could and filling the room with the stallion's pained groans. "Good fillies cum hard, now who's a good filly?"

Cork grunted as I slid my hand up and down his throat, his face wrought with pain and confused pleasure. "Fuck my ass!"

"Good fillies get to cum, bad colts get punished. Now who's a good filly?" I stroked him like mad, grunts and the loud slapping filling the air as I threatened to cover his mouth again. "Better answer me--"

"I'm a good colt--"

I covered his mouth and pulled him back into place. "Wrong answer, now don't you dare cum." I leaned forward, forcing him diagonal, the dildo in his ass coming out slightly as he leaned. I pulled my hand away from his cock and pressed two sharp fingers against the thick bulge between his balls and his now lube spattered asshole.

Cork let out a mad grunt and started snorting hand huffing as I ground his taint like thick dough. "I asked who was a good filly, you'll answer right next time." Cork went back to licking my palm, harder, longer, forcing the burning in my body to spread from my groin to my chest to my arms until I was on fire. "Don't you beg...you're not even close to done."

Cork's cock bobbed and twitched as I slid him back and forth, keeping two fingers pressed against his taint hard as I spread his ass. His eyes crossed slightly as her grunted into my palm. His breathing picked up, nose straining to draw and expel air fast enough. He tried to shake his head free, but he was mine, he was staying right there. "I said don't cum."

Cork's cock betrayed him, the muscles in his taint tensing up as his balls tried to climb back up. I pulled my hand away and held his length as he came, shooting cum onto the carpet and his own chin. He grunted as a stray shot slapped his chin and my pinky. He let out a long, self satisfied groan as I let him go limp into my hand. My skin flushed hot as the thick meat went slack, twitches and throbs spurting out the failed shots. "I did say don't cum, right?"

I stood up and let him sit back onto his haunches, the tongue still lodged deep in his ass. "Oh dear Celestia I can't feel my legs...." He grunted and tried to push off the floor with his forelegs. "Uuuuuugh, tired.... Oh Celestia that was.... I'm so tired...."

I walked around before him, standing over him. "Open."

Cork looked up at me. "Uh...did you pee--"

"Open!" I put my hand under his chin and lifted him up. "Bad colts get punished, remember." I buried his face into my panties. "Come on, it won't take much." I slid myself over his muzzle, the dazed stallion flitting his tongue out mindlessly as I found myself against him. "Fuck--Fuck--" I held my breath as the heat in my body rattled around, my groin rushing with pleasure as my leg started shaking. "Fuck--" I dropped to one knee. "Oh Jesus...that really didn't take much." I swept my hair back with one hand. "Holy crap...that was fun."

Cork slumped forward, muzzle wet, stomach damp, cock limp, asshole occupied. "Uuuurgherherher...." He laughed like an idiot. "Mutha of Luna's great spotted ass I'm pissing tired." He closed his eyes and scratched the carpet, a dumb smile sitting over his face as he nickered at me, more of a horse's weird grunt than anything I'd come to expect from ponies.

"Wow...sexy. That is a sexy sexy horse noise." I shook my head and flopped down onto my butt. "You like having that--"

"Can't even feel it." He laughed. "Don't care...came."

I smiled and scooted over towards him. "I said not to--"

"I did. And you know what, worth whatever you're going to do to me." He laid flat over the towel and shut his eyes. "Dress me up, do whatever, but dear pissing moon, I almost died."

I reached behind him and pulled the dildo out. He let out a sharp grunt and opened his eyes. "You know, you wouldn't believe how roughly I have to treat these when I clean them, still, have to have different ones for different holes."

Cork looked up at me, eyes only half open but still a rather pretty shade of green. "Why?"

I shook my head and tossed the dildo past his ass. "Because ass to vagina is a really, really, really bad idea. Took me one UTI to figure that out." I sighed loudly. "Also, Jesus.... That's all, just Jesus."

Cork closed his eyes and let out a long yawn. "Isn't that your god or something?"

"Or something." I looked around the bright den, the windows near pitch black and speckled with rain. "Well...bed time I guess...shower in the morn--" A loud knocking rattled the house. "Oh...fuck...no...." I paused with my hand on Cork's head. "Is she--"

"Cork!? It's raining! Open the door!" Roseluck's voice came from the door out into my back garden. "Cork, I've been knocking for ten minutes! What's wrong!?"

I flopped onto my side. "God damn it pony! Why!?"