Pooka tries to take over Equestria

by FaelaArts

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 8367

A mythical shapeshifter tries to take over Equestria because Ponies are mean.

A Púca is a legendary shapeshifter, said to bring both good and bad fortune. One has not been seen in Equestria in nearly a thousand years. Ponies thought them extinct, dead, deceased. Celestia had even stopped teaching about them, having herself forgotten they could still exist. So naturally, when one shows up in Ponyville, ponies mistake it for a black goat.

Pooka isn't going to let this insult slide. Ponies must be taught a lesson.

Published 2014-07-28 12:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-28 12:00:03 UTC

In which Ponies realise their folly.

It was another dark and gloomy day in the Everfree. The birds were screaming in terror, the plants were attacking smaller creatures for nourishment, it was all really annoying and bothersome. And to be honest, Pooka was tired of it all. Why should he have to deal with their ruckus? No, no he does not. Why all he has to do is stand up right now and he could very easily stop this noise at-

Oh, then again he was still quite tired. A thousand years was nowhere near long enough for a nice, restful, peaceful slumber. Why, his dragon friend had been asleep for nearly three! Why should he, the excellent, magnificent, charming Pooka have to get up because the wildlife irritated him? It wasn’t his fault a forest had grown over him during the sleep.

Something growled below him, and a plant passed his body and grew upward. Pooka could tell they were seeds of Chaos, they had taken quite a long time to sprout. Ahh the sweet silence as Discord worked, truly wonderful. Now Pooka could finally get some-

As if instantly, the plan withered and died, and he covered his ears and groaned. Within a day, the birds were once more chirping and howling and growling and shouting and he really could not, would not, should not take this a moment longer. Pooka was done, it was time to go up there and ask the creatures in charge to keep their forest quiet, some creatures were trying to sleep.

Pooka breathed a sigh, and slowly his body shifted into a smaller shape with powerful paws for digging. Cracking his joints, he began to dig his way out of the ground. It took only a month for him to reach the surface, and as he exited, he shut his cave with a simple thump of his bunny foot. Stretching out, he took the more pleasurable form of a goat, and bleated once as he checked his body was still in working order.

“I wonder if the creatures still speakest thy native tongue,” he pondered whimsically. Turning, he saw a large wolf-like creature slowly walk toward him, taking in his black coat and glowing eyes. As the creature approached, Pooka could tell this was not the dominant specie of this era. Stifling a yawn, he turned and leapt at a tree, jumping straight into the air with little effort and landing at the top.

Looking out over the forest, Pooka quickly spotted what looked like the residence of the dominant species. The tree creaked slightly at his weight, but he paid it no heed as he raised a hoof to block the sun, and looked at the town. It looked like they were definitely, positively, absolutely equines. Pooka was mildly surprised by this turn of event.

“Well well well, tis strange to see such bright skies over yonder.” Turning his head, Pooka looked directly at the bright sun in the sky. It was bigger than he last envisioned it, and was definitely stronger. Leaping down from the tree, he startled the wolf-like creature, who dashed away in caution. Pooka watched it go with a tilt of his head, that creature would only get itself into trouble if it ran away like a chicken. No matter.

Turning, Pooka began his walk through the forest at a slow pace, watching the night fall and the creatures around him change. Ears flicking, he listened in as the sounds of laughter and joy reached his ears. Pooka smiled eagerly, it had been a long time since he had met creatures that had a sense of humor.

Parting the leaves, he stepped out of the forest and headed for the town, looking at the brightly colored buildings and neatly paved roads. Pooka could tell this was a society that felt safe, despite the lack of protection from the forest. He smirked, they really should fix that. Why, they could let all sorts of dangerous animals in if someone happened to know how to lead them.

“Excuse me, but are you lost? We don’t get many goats in these parts.” Turning, Pooka took in the purple mare and the small dragon standing beside her. This was rather curious, dragon eggs were hard to come by, let alone steal from dragons. What was more, the speech was definitely Equestrian, but it was more...Uncivilized?

“Pray tell me pony, does thou not recognize thine glowing eyes and black hair?” Pooka gave a practiced smile to the mare. What he found most curious was her horn and wings. Were they more common in this era? From what he knew, those born with both were very rare, and quite strong.

“Uhh, I recognize you as a regular goat?” The pony looked at him weirdly, and glanced briefly to the moon in the sky. Pooka pondered the action, and wondered if there was some meaning in his words that connected him to the moon.

“I am Púca.” Speaking softly, he returned his gaze to the town, taking in all the sights. For their race to have spread out so quickly, it must have been ancient intervention. But whose intervention had it been. The rare ponies from before his slumber had the time to change it yes, but nowhere near the power.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Púca, my name is Twilight Sparkle, welcome to Ponyville.” Interesting, this place was with a name, and these ponies had two names during this era. Pooka wondered what other subtle changes there were now that they had moved into the dominant specie. How had they done so? They were not on the top of the food chain, despite some being adept at magic or flight.

“You misunderstand, my name is not Púca, I am one.” The confusion on the mare’s face was enough for Pooka to realise that according to their history, he no longer existed. That was mildly insulting. They had wiped, erased, made him cease to exist in their records. Well, he would have to change that while he discussed the forest.

“Oh uh, I see? Well what’s your name then?” It seemed this pony was slightly above average intelligence, for it had recognized his aura of mystique that marked him as a Púca. Of course, it would be too easy to prove he was what he said he was, but Pooka did not really care enough to prove that he was one, he had a complaint to file.

“My name is Pooka.” Tilting his head, he noticed the mare once more express confusion, and point to him as she began to object to his name.

“But you just said that’s your race.” Pooka was insulted by this Twilight Sparkle. Could she not hear the silent hoo sound when he said his name compared to the uu sound when he said his race. Pooka stood up and turned, moving to walk away. This mare was obviously of no use to him, he needed to find out who the leader of this race was.

“Uh okay then, see ya.” Pooka turned his eyes inside out and looked through his head to see what the mare was doing, blinking them back to normal a moment later. The mare was shaking her head, dismissing her confusion. It was not his fault if this Twilight Sparkle was uneducated, stupid, imbecile.

“A pony outside said you are in charge of this domain.” Pooka spoke slowly, working out the new rules of the language. It seemed for the most part to be intact, however certain words were shortened, or extended to become clearer. It seemed to be working for the most part, and each creature he talked to gave him less and less weird looks.

“Ah yes, I am Mayor Mare, I handle most of the paperwork for Ponyville.” This tan colored pony lacked either wings or a horn, and would probably be the first to be eaten if she lived a thousand years ago. Pooka had always found ponies curious in that way, three different races but part of one.

“Very good. I wish to file a complaint on the lack of knowledge about my race, and also request the forest be removed from over my home.” Pooka made sure to keep his words short and too the point. He had no clue if these ponies possessed enough brainpower to comprehend larger words.

“Uh, excuse me? You’re a goat, we know quite a bit about your race.” So he was right in assuming this mare was also uneducated. He supposed it made sense then why his wonderful, serene, perfect race had been forgotten from history.

“Precisely, for you see I am not a goat, but a creature called a Púca. A being, I might add, should be treated with respect, lest you anger our ire.” Pooka smiled and stood up tall, showing off his black fur as it rippled along his back. Looking down, he realised the mare was not convinced. How insulting!

“Right, okay then. Now you said something about a forest also. Do you mean the Everfree?” Ah, so this mare had been listening to his entire conversation. That was good, great, excellent. This would make things easier. These beings were uneducated, not stupid. Pooka would have to fix that soon. It was starting to hurt his wittle heart.

“Everfree, that is familiar yes.” Pooka had not heard that name in a long time. It was obvious these ponies knew their history, but that left the question on how they had forgotten his race. It was starting to get beyond a joke with how many thought of him as a goat.

“Right, well no one is in charge of the Everfree, the forest does what it will.” Pooka’s tail twitched, what did this mare just say? This was unacceptable, indisputable, unremarkable! These ponies couldn’t take care of a single forest!?

“This misdeed must not go unpunished, I must talk to the leader of your race this instant.” This atrocity must not go unpunished. If the leaders of an eon ago had seen the mess their children had made of their world, they would roll in their graves!

“Uh, riiight. I don’t think you’ll get an audience with Celestia.” The mare hid her mouth behind a hoof, trying to hide her obvious amusement at the thought. Pooka’s tail twitched once more, and he stepped forward, eyes narrowing as they began to glow brighter. For once, the mare showed signs of uncertainty.

"Why," he asked simply.

“Because you’re a goat that is acting insane enough for the mental asylum?” At her words, Pooka growled and his eyes flashed, blinding the pony for a brief moment. As she fell over, something knocked her hair, transforming it into a jumble of mess that would make Pinkie Pie brush her mane out of shame.

“For this insult to my person, and once more forgetting my race, I hereby curse you with bad hair for 50 years.” Pooka stood over the mare as she sat up, and looked to a mirror nearby, trying to fix up her hair. However, each time she almost had it, it sprung out like a bouncy ball and returned to the state it had starred in. Mayor Mare’s face slowly dawned with realization, and Pooka almost thought she might learn her lesson.

“The joke is on you pal, I’m not likely going to live another 50 years, so good luck giving me bad hair when I’m dead.” Pooka sighed with immense irritation, his tail flicking as he turned to leave, motioning to the air as he left. Of course, what had he expected. Creatures never learned their lesson about messing with unknown magical artifacts or creatures.

“Fine fine, I extend your life 50 more years so you can properly mourn over your new-found curse. I have a Celestia to find.” As Pooka left, he would not notice the surprised smile that slowly rose on the mare’s face as she stood up. He would also not know that during those 50 years, Mayor Mare was never seen once without a hat. Or maybe Pooka did know these things, and just let it go.

“I am looking for a Celestia, do you know where I could find one?” Pooka was slowly growing more and more irritated with these ponies. Most laughed at his questions, and others simply looked at him like he was a fool. And every single pony thought he was a stupid goat.

“Why don’t you ask her student,” snorted one as he passed Pooka. Growling quietly, Pooka flicked his tail, and silently cursed the man with the inability to tell the time. He found it fitting, considering his hourglass flank mark. Pooka turned and asked the next pony that walked by.

“Where would I find the student of a Celestia?” Pooka watched the mare actually notice him, and tilt her head. After a moment she smiled and pointed to a large crystal palace in the center of the town, glowing brightly in the sunlight.

“Princess Twilight lives in there now since her tree house burned down.” Turning to where the mare pointed, Pooka smiled deviously. That castle was much too heavy to be supported by a single stalk. It would be a shame if the weight shifted ever so slightly…

“Uh, ok, see ya.” The mare spoke to his back as he slowly walked toward the castle. Pooka wondered what pony royalty was like. Were they graceful swans, or stern figureheads with an unrelenting glare. There had been many in his time on the world, and yet, he had yet to meet an honest one. Pooka walked to the door and knocked gently, but loudly.

“Uh, hell-Oh it’s you.” The door opened to reveal the purple mare from before, one of the few ponies that had actually been a help in this angry, putrid, revolting town. Pooka was positive they didn’t even know what a bath was. This mare wasn’t exactly the peak of cleanliness either, but at least she didn’t smell like a goat’s behind.

“Uh yes, I am looking for the student of a Celestia.” Pooka saw this Twilight do a double take, noticing his fluency in the new tongue. The mare opened her mouth, eyes narrowing, before she closed it and shook her head. Was the mare mute? Pooka knew she was not, but she should really learn to talk more.

“That’s a strange way of saying it but yes, I am Celestia’s top pupil.” Twilight pointed to herself and stood tall, a beaming smile on her face. Pooka could tell this mare took pride in her subservience, and winced in response. Slavery was one thing, but to be so happy about being one was simply unnatural.

“My apologies. I wish to speak to this Celestia about a most pressing issue at once, and I would appreciate it if you could direct me to them.” Pooka took a brief moment to notice the six large chairs, and the single small chair near one showing the mark on the Twilight’s flank. There was deep magic throbbing through the place, almost ancient in source. Pooka would have loved to mess with that flow, but he had more important problems.

“Well I can arrange that but uh, why? Celestia is a busy pony, and I can’t interrupt her just because you want an autograph.” Twilight seemed to hold disdain for him, directed at his appearance. Pooka’s tail twitched, just what was up with these ponies? Surely goats should be on equal terms in their society? However, if that was not the case, it would explain some of the stares he has received.

“A forest has grown over my home due to their negligence, and I also need to punish them for excluding me from all history books of this era.” Pooka growled silently once more. This was unspeakable, inexcusable, unforgivable! However this Twilight just gave him the same glance as the Mayor had. Pooka’s tail twitched once more.

“Alright, that’s enough horsing around. Stop pretending you’re some mythical creature, or prove you are this ‘Púca’.” Twilight fixed him with a confident gaze, and once more Pooka’s tail twitched. Why should he have to lower himself to this pony’s level? Turning around he made to leave, snorting in anger as his tail flicked once more.

“Fine, but for your ignorance I curse you with 42 years of being unable to get up stairs without tripping at least once.” Pooka waved his hoof, and slowly his form collapsed in on itself and turned into the shape of a rabbit once more. If these ponies were going to be ignorant, he would dig up the forest himself. This Celestia could wait a few hundred years.

Behind him, Twilight stood stock still, mouth hung open and eyes wide.

“U-Uhm e-Excuse me but yo-You’re digging up my garden.” This pony was yellow with pink hair. Pooka faintly noted she was also a Pegasus. Pausing in his digging of the ground, he turned and regarded the pony.

“No, I’m digging up the Everfree.” Really, it wasn’t that hard, difficult, laborious. The mare backed a step away, and a white rabbit, slightly smaller than he was, came in front, as if to defend the pony. Pooka smiled; animals were so silly at times. It was always the smart ones that couldn’t read a situation and tell he meant no harm. More brains equals less instinct, he supposed.

“U-Uh well, you see th-that’s my garden. It connects to the Everfree but isn’t actually a p-part of it.” Hiding behind her hair, the mare winced slightly as the rabbit pulled on the pink curl, demanding action. Pooka yawned and put the dirt back in the hole. It wasn’t like he has wasted a lot of time on it, only two hours.

“Oh very well, I’ll dig up the Everfree just outside your borders then.” Pooka turned and began hopping, leaping over the fence and starting to dig once more. However, when the mare once more approached he heaved an exasperated sigh and turned. Why is it the quiet ones were always the most annoying, irritating, pushy ones.

“Z-Zecora lives in the Everfree. If you dig it up sh-she loses her home.” Wait, so their race lives in the forest? Were they insane? That place was drenched in so much magic an earth pony could cast teleportation spells if they were born and raised there. Pooka was starting to wonder if it really was ignorance, and not stupidity, that drove these ponies.

“Oh fine pushyfoot, what do you suppose I do to get silence over my home then? I was trying to sleep you know.” Jumping into the air, Pooka turned into a goat once more, and flicked his tail in annoyance. Honestly, this world was needlessly complicated. A thousand years ago if he had of said ‘I need this forest gone’, ponies would salute him and do it in a year. Pooka loved how fast they worked.

“Eeep!” The mare jumped back and hid behind the wall, wings upright in fright. Pooka gritted his teeth, this was getting annoying. Heaving a sigh, and lowering his head, he walked over to the pony and (im)patiently waited for the mare to stop jumping at his shadow. After a moment of peeking through her hooves, she slowly stood back up and looked away, stuttering an answer.

“Y-You could tr-try finding a n-new home.” The pony had a point, he brought a hoof to his chin. If he found a new place of residence, far away from this pesky forest, maybe under a mountain, he would have at least 5000 years before the ground would shift enough he would have to change. That would be plenty of time to sleep. Pooka nodded, turning to give a smile to the pony, she deserved a reward for being smart, useful, cute.

“Yes, that idea does me nicely. As gratitude for your help, I grant you uh…” Pooka paused, and made a circle motion with his hoof, looking around for a good gift. Looking toward a tree, he exclaimed and pointed to it, turning back to the pony as he bestowed his gift.

“I grant you the ability to talk to trees. Granted they’re not very good conversation but hey, this is for life so I’m being pretty generous here.” Pooka chuckled and thought back to a few thousand years ago, when gifts normally meant not killing someone. Good times, good times. Turning, he began to head around the edge of the forest, heading toward the closest mountain. There was a castle on top, but hopefully he found somewhere nice along the way.

Behind him, the yellow pony with pink hair looked toward the trees, and gasped, eyes sparkling and wings folding as she darted toward the closest tree. It would be five years before she understood that trees only spoke a single letter a year.

Along the way, he passed a pink pony who was bouncing along. Upon seeing him, she gasped and turned, standing in his way and speaking in a different language. Pooka’s tail flicked once, and he tilted his ears as he slowly translated the language into something understandable. After a moment, he realised this was also Equestrian, just sped up and put in a high pitched voice.

“-andweshouldtotallymakeapartyforyouMrGoatanditwillhavecakeandicecreamand-” This pony was speaking about a Party of some sort. Finally someone who wanted to celebrate his greatness. However there was the problem this pony still assumed he was a goat. There was only so much he can forgive in ponies.

“I am not a goat!” Pooka interrupted the mare, stomping a hoof to silence her with a single glare. The pony merely tilted her head and closed her eyes, giving another high pitched giggle. Pooka’s tail was nearly wagging, his eyebrows beginning to twitch.

“I know that silly, I just like calling you Mr Goat. I know all about your plan to take over Equestria too.” Once more, the mare giggled with silent glee. Pooka tilted his head, his tail falling still once more.

“Take over Equestria? Is that what this realm is called? And that is not my plan, what would lead you to assume that?” Pooka watched the mare giggle once more, and pull him into a hug and point to the top of the page.

“See that underneath the chapter title? That’s the name of this story. You must be going to take over Equestria, otherwise why would your story be called that?” The mare had a fair point, and possessed the rare ability to break the fourth wall. Pooka turned his eyes back to the mare as she waved goodbye and left. Putting a hoof to his chin thoughtfully, he mused for a moment.

“Hello? Ahm sorry ‘bout Pinkie Pie, she’s a few eggs short of a basket if ya’ know what ah mean.” A voice interrupted him, and he turned to see an orange mare with a wide brim hat approach, holding out what appeared to be an Apple. Taking the fruit, Pooka was surprised to see how juicy, vibrant, delicious it looked. Whatever these ponies were doing to get their fruit to look like this, they were doing it right.

“It is quite alright, may I ask you a question?” Pooka took a bite of the apple and turned to look at the pony, who nodded and pointed to herself. This was obviously similar to the slave ponies from earlier. It seemed those lower were always smiling and happy, it must be one of the rules that kept them alive.

“Of course, just call me Applejack. What can ah help ya’ with?” So this pony had a name relating to the fruit. Pooka wondered if it meant her ability was stealing apples and selling them for exorbitant prices. It seemed likely, the apple he had been given was likely a bribe to keep him quiet about the pink one’s involvement.

“I was wondering if you could tell me where Celestia resides.” Pooka made sure not to put an ‘a’ before Celestia this time, as per the purple one’s suggestion. It was hard to tell for sure, but these ponies were definitely finding him less and less strange the more of their language he adopted. That was good.

“Ah think ya mean Princess Celestia, an’ she lives in Canterlot.” This Applejack was certainly useful, he was finally closer to the end of his journey. Pooka gave a smile, and asked his final question. This was it, he was close to finally finding the villain responsible for the forest over his home.

“Ah yes, that would be her. Could you please tell me where to find this Canterlot?” Pooka saw the pony give him a weird look, before turning and pointing to what looked like a platform for something. There were metal lines along the ground. Just what was that building for?

“Well tha’ train will take ya right ta Canterlot. But I doubt you’ll get an audience with the Princess, she’s mighty busy ya’ know.” The mare spoke of something called a train. Pooka admitted, he was curious what a train was. In his time, if you couldn’t fly, you walked. Either that, or you found alternate methods.

“Thank you, Applejack was it?” Pooka turned as the mare nodded, and headed toward the station. The mare had been helpful, but had shown him disdain. What was it ponies had against goats? They were perfectly functioning animals of society that had an eating disorder.

“And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your black market trades. You really didn’t have to bribe me you know.” Pooka headed toward the building the mare had pointed out, wondering just who were the authorities in charge of ensuring there was no black in the market. Pooka wasn’t going to tell the authorities of course. Well, for now. It depended what amusement he could receive from it in the future.

Behind Pooka, Applejack was open mouthed, hoof half out as if to stop Pooka. After a moment, she quickly packed up her stall and headed toward the large crystal castle where a purple pony was still inside.

“What do you mean I cannot get on board!” Pooka was at the door to this train thing! It was a large, long contraption with a hollow belly. It’s horn was constantly emitting some sort of steam, and he would have loved to have a look at it’s inner workings at such a time that he wasn’t otherwise trying to take over Equestria.

“I’m telling you you can’t get on without a ticket!” This pony was insufferable! Just what did he mean a ticket? Pooka growled and turned to march away, when another pony approached and gave him a sweet smile. This pony was pure white with purple hair. Pooka noticed her flank mark was of three diamonds. Was she royalty?

“I’ll buy you one, come with me.” This mare obviously knew her manners, and Pooka smiled, following the mare. Did this mare know who he was? Unlikely, she probably thought he was some ‘poor, dumb, stupid goat’ according to her mind. Sadly, his race had lost the ability to fully see into other races minds about 15 thousand years ago when the freedom of thought was signed in a treaty. Pooka had been against that personally, but his race had been vetoed.

“Thank you miss. Could you describe to me the reason we must ‘purchase’ one of these ‘tickets’?” Pooka wondered if the mare would consider his question stupid, and give him strange looks like the remainder of her race. However, she merely walked over to some sort of box with a pony inside, putting some gold on the counter before giving him a gentle smile.

“Well running a train isn’t free. So they have to make the money somehow, and charging for a ride is normally the easiest way of doing so.” It wasn’t free? Was this mare implying that these ponies had started an economy? Amazing, their race had really grown. Pooka remembered a time when earth ponies just dumped their food in a large pile and people took from it without prejudice. It had often started wars.

“Here’s your ticket.” The mare handed him a small slip of something. Looking at it, he could tell it had come from a tree, but not much other than that. How long had ponies had the ability to write? Were they no longer using old animal skins? Pooka had always wondered how they had gotten those skins in the first place. No matter.

“As thanks for your help, I gift you with five years of good luck.” Pooka waved a hoof, and gave a bow. This was a gift he had not bestowed in a long time, and even then it was often for something larger. This mare however, belonged to a time when both his race wasn’t known, and goats were considered a lower species.

“Uh, thanks.” The mare held an awkward smile, not quite believing his words, but accepting his graces. Pooka turned to leave for his train, but paused when a pony landed with a gust of wind, and approached the lovely mare from earlier.

“Rarity! We’ve got big problems! A Changeling has been seen running around Ponyville asking about Celestia!” This mare was a bright blue, and had a mane of rainbow. Pooka couldn’t help but stare, how did her hair do that? What sort of rare hair pigmentation did she have? Was this due to the ponies mixed genes?

“Excuse me, rainbow mare, what is this Changeling you speak of?” Pooka watched the mare turn and roll her eyes, and instantly knew this mare didn’t care if he was a goat or pony if he was asking ‘stupid questions’. Pooka began to think of a few curses that would absolutely ruin this mare’s day.

“Changelings are shape shifting monsters. They steal love from ponies. This one’s in the form of...a...goat.” Pooka ignored the fact the mare had trailed off at the end, and was now staring intently at him. Stole love? Were they a form of Succubi? Fascinating, their breed had evolved to take on the dominant specie. It always surprised him to hear they were still thriving. Were they still solo monsters, or had they formed groups?

“Hey, what’s your name?” The rainbow mare asked him a question, and Pooka paused in his musing, raising his head and noticing her glare. Behind her, the kind pony was also watching him suspiciously. Hearing the sounds of galloping, Pooka turned and saw the purple mare; followed by the orange mare, the yellow mare, and the pink mare slowly coming toward him.

“I am Pooka Von Fuzzlebrand IV.” Pooka watched all form a defensive line between him and the train, and his tail twitched. These ponies sought to keep him from this Celestia. They will pay for this! This is an outrage, aggravating, foolhardy!

“Stop right there Changeling, you can’t fool us with the disguise of a stupid goat!” What? They thought he was a- But the purple one knew he was a- And the kind ones had already told him that- And what did him having to be a goat have to do with- Were they really this stupid?

“Alright, that’s it. My patience is officially worn out. Hath thou understood? This is thy warning: Move, or I shant hold back.” Pooka took a step forward, and the ponies lowered their heads, preparing for a fight. Taking another step, Pooka saw the unicorns charge a spell, and the rainbow one prepare to charge. They were serious then.

“Here is my ticket.” Pooka passed the ticket to the stunned usher, and walked onto the train, all six ponies taking a moment of stunned silence to realise he had vanished and appeared behind them in an instant. Turning, they quickly charge after him, the usher letting them pass as he was currently dealing with the fact a goat had teleported in front of him. Pooka took a seat, and the train began to move.

“Hey!” The purple mare stood her ground despite the fact the train was shaking them, horn holding what looked to Pooka like a spell designed to entrap, not kill. These ponies were so mellow, they really couldn’t hurt a fly. Pooka pulled open a book he had found on a vacant seat, and began to read.

“Don’t ignore me!” The mare fired the spell, incinerating his book and firing a second one that held a greenish energy, designed to break illusion magic. Pooka rolled his eyes, it was such a pity he didn’t use illusion magic. It always left a lemon tang in his mouth, blegh. Pooka shifted in the seat, and looked through the window, touching the invisible material keeping him from the outside. Fascinating stuff these ponies created.

“Fine! I warned you.” The mare fired a third spell, this one designed to cause actual damage. Pooka turned and let it hit his face, waiting for the dust to clear before giving a yawn and looking at the purple mare with a bored expression on his face.

“Just how long is it going to take for you to realise I’m not one of those Changeling creatures you speak of?” Pooka waited, and counted exactly 29 spells before the mare paused, gasping for breath. It was at that moment the train arrived, and he stood up. The mares tried to stop him, but he merely teleported behind them with minimal effort once more. Stepping outside, Pooka wondered how he would find out where this Celestia lived.

“You’re not getting to Princess Celestia! Dash go get the guards from her palace.” Looking toward the ponies, the rainbow one saluted and headed off for a large castle at the other side of the city. Pooka watched her go, now knowing where this Celestia lived. He really should thank these ponies, they had been such a help.

“Yer not getting away!” The apple pony tossed a rope, lassoing Pooka by his neck. Pausing briefly, he turned and looked at the group holding the rope, and merely continued on his way, dragging them along. After about five meters, they released him and turned to each other. Pooka glanced back at them, ear twitching as they spoke of some sort of power.

This sounded interesting. So the ponies did possess some sort of power, he was correct. A giddy glee made him turn away, and skip toward his location, closing his eyes and humming a tune. Oh he could not wait to see what power the ponies had discovered. Was it dark, or light? Chaos, or Order? Oooh he could not wait! There was so much fascinating stuff to discover every time he woke up. Why, he was starting to forget he was still tired under all this excitement!

“Halt right there!” Opening his eyes, but not halting, Pooka saw the line of guards in front of him, and the rainbow mare as she passed him and headed for the spot her friends had paused. The guards saw Pooka wasn’t stopping, and waited for orders. The stallion in front faintly reminded him of the purple one.

“Seize the intruder!” The guards pointed sticks at Pooka, however he merely jumped on top of one, and over the guards, continuing on his way. These ponies were quite amusing. Was this their attempt to prove they could defend themselves? Why, this supposed power was probably a cheap magic trick as well. Pooka stopped skipping and returned to a regular walk, his mood soured with disappointment.

Opening the door, he saw guards try to dive him, and nimbly leapt out of the way with a quick kick to the ground, once more resuming his skipping. Following the line of guards, he soon found a large set of doors guarded by no less than 30 guards. Pooka had to admit, they certainly had the numbers. Against any creature of non magical origin, they would probably succeed.

Pooka teleported behind them and opened the door, revealing a large throne room with 50 more guards. Pooka walked in and slowly the forces surrounded him. A glint of amusement entered his eye, before a light on the throne commanded his attention, displaying a show of power with bright magic from her horn. So this was Celestia?

“You have 30 seconds to explain who you are, and why you barged your way in here before I teleport you to the sun.” Pooka examined the figurehead. This Celestia was commanding, regal, and fierce. He could also sense the quiet, playful side she probably showed only to her subjects. In terms of a leader, she did ok.

To her side was a second mare, a dark blue with a moon flank mark. This mare was less practiced in her form, but she did an adequate job for someone so young. Pooka paused and looked to the source of their magic, and was mildly surprised to see the elder one was actually attached to the sun.

“Ah yes. I wish to file a complaint about...Three things, yes three.” Pooka paused and nodded to himself. Yes, he best not reveal what he was planning just yet. These ponies wanted him to posture to their formality of thirty seconds. Pooka could play along, for now.

“The first, that my race, Púca, has been wiped from your history.” Pooka watched the two mores show surprise, and share a glance. The elder one paused, narrowing her eyes as she mused. After a moment they widened and she returned her eyes to Pooka. There was a sudden fear in them. Aha, so they DID know what he was.

“The second, a forest called Everfree has been allowed to grow over my home. Thus, the animals chatter so loudly I cannot sleep an ounce of sleep.” Pooka’s ears flopped down and he expressed his sadness. It wasn’t his fault the leaders had failed to uphold their bargain. Once more, the two shared a glance.

“And the final complaint is thus: The atrocious mistreatment of-” Both leaders backed up, wings flaring as he paused for a brief moment. Pooka was going to make them pay for this most of all. How dare they be like this.

“Goats.” Pooka finished and looked at them, a small feeling of pleasure entering him as he waited for their reactions. However, they merely blinked, looked to each other, and sighed in relief. Pooka’s tail twitched, and both immediately realised their mistake.

“Please Púca, we mean you no disrespect. We were expecting you to mention to Gryphons or Zebras.” Celestia looked to Luna, who gave a nod, bowing once in sync with her sister. Pooka nodded, finally someone in this place knew how to treat his kind! Pooka looked toward the guards, and Celestia quickly moved to remedy it.

“My apologies Púca. Guards, fall back. You are neither not needed or able to defend against this threat. I’m afraid this duty falls to me and me alone.” Celestia gulped once, and stood up, approaching Pooka, her sister following close behind. After the guards had cleared, taking up positions around the corners of the room, both Princesses kneeled before Pooka.

“So you are mistreating not only goats, and other specie, but your own? I am disappointed in you Alicorns, your ancestors would be dying of shame if they were still alive.” Pooka watched the two lower their heads, and nodded to himself. Finally someone that actually listened to the words coming out his his mouth. He didn’t speak them because he liked talking you know!

“Stop right there!” It was the purple mare, Pooka groaned and turned to face her. Couldn’t she see that adults were talking? Oh? Something was different, they all had more color to their hair and were radiating magic. Was this that power they spoke of? Pooka smiled, finally he could see what had brought these ponies to the top of the food chain.

“Alright, I’ve stopped, now what?” Pooka raised his head to the sky and laughed. Oh how much fun this was! He could see why his friend loved it so. There was only so much small time curses and gifts could do to keep a guy entertained through eternity. It was such a pity that wasn’t his gig. No matter.

“Now we beat you, once and for all!” As the purple mare spoke, the group come together to form a circle around her, and their magic connected, forming a rainbow. It flew into the air, and circled down, hitting Pooka from the top. Swirling around him for a few moments, it vanished and the mare’s landed, their magic fading.

“Mm a little too much purple to be a proper rainbow, and your red needs a little less yellow, it’s almost an orange at that taste. But overall not a bad Order spell. I needed a shower.” Pooka brushed off the dead specks of Order that still hung to his cloak, and shook his body once. Looking to the gaping mares, he wondered why they were so surprised their magic had failed.

“It’s a perfectly well designed spell, made to eliminate all evil. It tastes too much like a recycled power however. Have you had any other forms of it?” Pooka paused and saw the purple mare mutely nod. Turning back to the two Princesses, he motioned toward them and chuckled.

“Now a spell like that would great against my good friend. Order and Chaos often don’t go together well. I’d say that spell mixed with his own brand of magic would probably result in stone.” Not waiting for a nod, Pooka pulled the crown off of Celestia’s head, who was still bowing before him. Turning, he headed for the throne, and took a seat.

“Right then, I am now the Princess. Any objections?” There was a moment of stunned silence as Pooka spoke, before the entire room erupted into an outroar. Pooka listened to each one carefully, watching as both Princesses stood up and glared at him. Wait, so they were angry? He supposed that was a valid emotion, but rather rude.

“You can’t just do that!” The purple one dived for him, but was held back by Celestia. Pooka supposed he should begin calling them by their names. But it was such a hassle, most of them would be dead next time he woke up. And if the purple one was still alive then he would make a slight effort to learn her name. Pooka yawned quietly.

“I’m afraid he can Twilight, we don’t have the power to stop a Púca.” Celestia fixed Pooka with a glare, before turning and looking to the purple one. Pooka watched them both, before giving another yawn. Man he was tired. These ponies moved so fast. What was wrong with taking a year here or there to just stop and watch the grass grow?

“Wait, I know what’s happening here! Discord, you’ve had your fun but the joke is over now.” Once more, the purple one turned to Pooka, who tilted his head in response, and pointed a hoof.

“If I was Discord, I would be stone right now.” Pooka’s knowing gaze saw the purple mare raise a hoof, opening her mouth, and lower it a moment later. As she tried to think of another solution, a light sizzling in the air caught Pooka’s attention. Was that? No, it couldn’t be.

“You called? Why, if I knew you were going to miss me, I’d make a clone of myself for you to have.” This creatures was an assortment of many different creatures, sporting a goatee and two horns. Pooka took the creature in, standing up as a smile fell on his face.

“Well well well, look who cracked out of his stone.” The Draconequus turned and took in Pooka, a smile breaking out on his face in response as he opened his arms and swiped the Púca out of his chair, and into his arms.

“Pooka you pesky little scamp, how have you been?.” Discord let Pooka down and turned to look at the group of ponies in attendance, putting his fingers together in mischievous thought.

“Pretty good, sleep was horrible but I managed to get a thousand years out of that cave near the forest. I’m looking for a new home currently. Know anywhere good?” Pooka snatched a drink from the air as Discord materialized two cups of chocolate milk. Drinking the glass, Pooka then tossed it at the floor, where a small explosion occurred.

“There are some crystal caverns that lead right down to the planet’s core. It’s be a great place to...hide an army.” Discord chuckled, and glanced toward a glass window decrypting a wedding between a pink Alicorn and a white unicorn. Pooka didn’t really need context to understand what had happened. Obviously they had had rebels trying to overthrow their kingdom. It was a common occurrence in any kingdom.

“Right, that sounds lovely. I love being cosy when I go to sleep. However I have to run this kingdom first, as the new Princess and all, care to be my co-Princess?” Pooka sat down on the smaller throne, and patted the larger one for Discord, who teleported onto it, and looked toward the ponies. Upon meeting eyes with Fluttershy, he winced and looked away.

“Right, first order of business. Arrest the orange one, she is the leader of an illegal smuggling ring.” Raising a hoof, Pooka pointed to the pony, who reeled back in shock, guards surrounding her.

“Say wha? You told me you weren't gunna tell em ‘bout that!” Applejack struggled against the guards, but was quickly subdued. Twilight and the others leapt at the guards, but couldn’t do anything to stop the disciplined fighters without using magic, which would cause serious injury. Pooka supposed they were trying to be saints, he snorted once.

“So you admit to it. And I said I wouldn’t tell them anything about the black market, not your illegal smuggling ring. You should really get those kinds of deals in writing.” Pooka looked to Discord, who nodded earnestly, before glancing once more to Fluttershy and wincing.

“Why aren’t you fighting him Discord! I thought you were our friend!” Pooka flinched as the yellow one spoke, glancing to Discord as he chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. Ah, so this one had tamed the beast. How fascinating. How was it he was accepted, but goats were not?

“Listen Fluttershy, it’s nothing personal but I’d rather not get on the bad side of the creature that is slightly more powerful than I am. Besides I know what he’s planning.” Discord raised a claw and brought them close, indicating exactly how much stronger Pooka was to Discord. To the naked eye, they looked to be touching. Pooka snorted, it was nice to see Discord hadn’t changed.

“Right, onto the final order of business. Discord, I want to see your selection of candy clouds. I think this land has a bit too much Order. A little Chaos magic should even the pendulum a little.” Pooka watched Discord snap his fingers, and sure enough a rainbow of candy clouds appeared in front of them.

“I think Strawberry Shake will do nicely, that is all.” Pooka waved his hand and Discord dismissed the clouds, and both once more looked to the ponies. Outrage and fear was on all faces. After all, without their friendship and/or magic, they really had nothing. Pooka smiled, he just had to add the finishing touches to this cake and he could-

“Alright! I’m sorry!” A voice rang out through the throne room, and once more Celestia approached Pooka, bowing her head, tears falling down her face.

“I’m sorry I let barriers between races form! And I’m sorry I let some of our history slip. I just-” Celestia paused, a raking sob escaping her lips. Pooka and Discord both leaned in as she continued.

“I just cracked! I let my personal feeling get in the way of my duty due to my own negligence of my sister. I hurt my little ponies deeply. So much so they don’t even realise what I have done. The fault is mine to bear. I neglected my sister, I neglected the history, and I neglected my ponies. I’m sorry.”

Celestia lowered her head, closing her eyes as the tears finally stopped. When she raised her head, she saw both male Princesses watching her intently. Finally, Pooka turned to Discord, and Discord turned to Pooka.

“You know what to do Discord.” Pooka smiled as Discord joined in. Celestia bowed her head in defeat as Discord snapped his fingers. When the bright flash of light cleared, all ponies in attendance could only blink, once more, in mute shock.

“Now there’s this lovely lapis cave here that has quite a hard stone bottom. It’s a little close to the plates, but it should hold for about 2 thousand years.” Celestia and Luna were once more atop the throne, crown restored to it’s rightful owner. The guards were once more lining the room, and the six ponies stood openly, not being held by anyone. Close to the door, Discord was holding open what looked to be a book decrypting the crystal caverns under the mountain. And Pooka was perusing the catalog, humming as Discord went through each one.

“That bedrock one seems the most stable yes, but what if a collapse happens? You ever tried to dig out of bedrock as a rabbit?” Pooka took the book as Discord walked over to Fluttershy and quickly whispered into her ear. Understanding dawned on her face, and a forgiving smile followed soon after. Celestia and Luna were silent for a moment, before Celestia stood up, flared her wings, and pointed a hoof at Pooka.

“Hey! This was all to teach me a lesson!” Celestia watched Pooka turn, and he gave the beaming smile of a person who had finally revealed the punch line of a joke. Turning, he chuckled, and exited the room.

“How rude, he didn’t say goodbye,” commented Discord knowingly.