Everypony has to get tired at some point. Rainbow Dash was always vying for some "me" time, so she could go nap. Twilight Sparkle was at ease about going to bed after a long, tiring day in which work got done. Pinkie Pie was even fine with going to bed every night.
However, when something possessed Pinkie to just go to sleep, even in the middle of a glorious, sunny day, she was more confused than anything. It's not that she was on an infinite amount of coffee or something, despite a very misled popular opinion. It was the natural flow of her body, disallowing her to enter sleep with any ease.
This feeling began invading her in a sunny afternoon, at a time close to the Equestrian equivalent of June. A fine morning to go out, enjoy the weather, and, as Mr. and Mrs. Cake said, stop and smell the roses. She was going to go check on Rainbow Dash when this odd phenomenon came to be. An overwhelming shockwave burst through her, leaving her dazed and surprised. She had most of her thoughts seemingly replaced by one:
"SLEEP."
Pinkie, being Pinkie, decided that disobeying this would be for the better at this point. After all, she still wanted to talk to Dash. If anything, she noticed Twilight's library was very close to the route she was taking, and she knew that Twilight could probably cure her of whatever ailment it was that happened to entail her.
Well, hopefully.
The feeling resounded and pulsed through her, causing her to relax and become drowsy. She collapsed under her own hooves, falling under the feeling's influence.
"SLEEEEEP."
She felt herself crumbling, falling. She felt as though she was a mere passenger in her own mind, just brought along for someone to torment. She couldn't reach Twilight's library. She couldn't see Dash. In fact, she couldn't see anything now.
She hit the ground, eyes closed. And then, she passed into a dream.
The reason I state she went into a dream is because what happens for the rest of this tale honestly confuses me. This dream-like state seemed to mask her senses. She couldn't be reached and couldn't be helped. Ask Luna; she understands why more than anypony else. But above all, it baffles me to no end.
I'll continue with Pinkie's odd state of mind later. For the moment, I want you to glimpse the thoughts of our other equine friends.
Rainbow Dash had the coincidencial luck to wake up just then. She had been lazily drifting along on a cloud, snoozing away blissfully. She woke up because she was startled by... well, nothing she could see. She briefly swiveled her head around, confirming her thoughts. She attempted to shrug this off, but only succeeded in shrugging herself off her temporary bed.
Surprised, she managed to flip herself right-side up. She landed in front of a passed out pastel pony known not quite only as Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie!" called Rainbow to her friend, left discarded by the aforementioned disease (of sorts). She shook her, eyes wide, but still nothing. Pinkie and Dash had been good friends for quite some time, and Dash knew this wasn't natural. Ponyville's hospital might have been able to explain Pinkie's condition, but Dash had what she thought was a better idea.
Dash took Pinkie in her hooves, carrying her to Ponyville library. A small note posted there said "Be back later. Twi" in a quick scrawl similar to Spike's.
Rainbow Dash glanced at the note and quiet displeasure quickly grew into her expression. She flew off, leaving Pinkie at the front door. She knew nopony from Ponyville would do anything to Pinkie. Except, perhaps, call in the Royal Gaurd.
Rainbow went first to the Carousel Boutique. She figured that would be somewhere Twilight could be, Rarity might know where their royal friend was, and she could fly somewhere else as fast as lightning if there was signs of her elsewhere. Speaking of said signs, Twilight just happened to walk out of the Everfree Forest at the exact moment Dash flew in. Not that Dash noticed.
"Rarity?" called Dash. She received no answer from the vast depths of the shop that lay before her. "Sweetie Belle?" Another possible answer could come out of that, but didn't."Twilight?" Major long shot there, she thought to herself. It was both dark and a Saturday, meaning it wouldn't be unlikely that the sisters were off getting groceries or something similar. Also meaning there wouldn't be anyone around to help. She decided this probably was a waste of time, and she needed to check somewhere else. There were no signs suggesting they were going to be gone for long, but Rainbow Dash wanted her answers now. She decided to just bolt for wherever, and see what would happen.
She raced off to Fluttershy's cottage, still searching for the elusive purple alicorn, without finding any signs of her. She blazed through the door to the cottage, hoping for somepony to be inside.
"Hey, Angel." She let a sigh escape her as she came to a smoldering stop. "Do you know where Fluttershy is? Or Twilight?"
Angel nodded his tiny, fluffy head. He pointed to a picture Fluttershy had placed over her fireplace. It was all of their friends, all laughing and smiling together. Including Pinkie Pie, the source of it all, she thought heartwrenchingly. "So, everyone's in one place?"
Angel nodded and kept pointing to the picture. Captured in the library.
"Should I go back to the library?"
Angel gestured to the door. Rainbow Dash flew as nopony else could.
Yet, the very instant she was out the door, she heard a familiar voice beside her say, "Rainbow Dash! Quickly, come with me, you have to see Pinkie Pie!"
She was grabbed and pulled to the library, forcefully rushed through the wind, and when she got there she was no less astounded than she was upon first noticing Pinkie's collapsed form. She could observe no wounds, no pain, and no consciousness. That was it. Absolutely no signs of any rare condition causing the turmoil she was putting everyone's emotions through.
"I don't know what to do." Rainbow Dash felt like dirt, just watching her friend, unable to help. She could only hope Twilight, who had surprisingly good grip, knew what happened.
"Neither do I, honestly." Words to strike terror in the heart of any patient's friend. "I wonder if she can hear us."
"Probably not... I wonder what happened," Fluttershy spoke up.
"I'm sure some ruffian just bashed into her and went on his merry little way, not even caring about the damage he caused," Rarity said through her teeth, steaming in (near) silence.
"Well, we gotta figger out some'n. There's a reason she's like this, an' we're gonna fin' ou' why." Applejack had a gleam in her eye, ready to tackle some new challenge.
And then Pinkie woke up.
Well, okay, Pinkie woke up in her dream. Which happened to be the exact same situation as what happened to be happening outside of her mind.
"Ugh.. what was that?"
Her friends weren't answering her. They stood, still as statues, worriedly down at her. She got up and jumped approximately one million feet in the air before coming down just behind a carcass looking like her. I'm sure you'd have gotten scared too if it looked like you'd just come out of something's body. Particularly, Pinkie saw, when that body is your own.
Then, her whole view went black. She stumbled, but managed to keep her hoofing. A shape like a gloomy cave emerged, seeming to be controlled by darker forces. She cautioned a "Hello?", but was met with nothing, not even a muffled grumble. She entered the cave, assuming it was safe.
Two eyes pierced the gloom as she trotted through the cave's opening. Triangular and yellow, it was like a staring contest with a demon. She felt - no, she firmly believed she couldn't look away. The eyes were entrancing, making her continue struggling towards - no, away from them. She realized how slim her progress was, but it wasn't preventing her from attempting an escape. Through all that, she still managed to fire off one question:
"What do you want?"
A figure appeared from the shadows. A cloaked pony, and a tall one at that. It wielded a voice that slithered through its mouth like a snake through a garden of roses, gently pushing through the musty air of the cavern, "Rest. The one thing I can never have, but always cause, whenever I try to see anypony, any creature. I cause torpor."
"Torpor? Is that some new sauce? Does it taste any good?" Pinkie stopped being pulled as she came up just in front of the hooded silhouette.
The shaded pony bit its lip and sighed. "Do you know the legend of the seven sins, traveler?"
"Umm, no..." Pinkie was beginning to feel creeped out by this whole ordeal. Plus, she was tired again.
"There are seven sins that ponies possess. Greed, envy, gluttony, wrath, pride, lust, and I, the embodiment of sloth. I cause laziness, sleep, and unwillingness wherever I attempt to go. It's a burden, a curse, and I want to be rid of it. And I need someone to help me."
"Why me?"
"Why me, why me. Don't we all ask that? I reached for whoever was closest. Apparently, that was you."
That was all fine and dandy, but the real question still needed to be asked. "What do I need to do?"
"I am as I am because I had no reason to do anything. I was willfully lazy, purposely doing nothing at all. My friends left me. My spouse moved away, worried I would cause somepony to become as I was. And so I did. What I must do is reverse what I've done."
Pinkie nodded. "Sure, sounds easy enough. But why do you need me?"
Sloth sighed once more. "If I cause ponies to lose their will to be ponies just by breathing the same air as them, how will I be able to let them prove their worth?"
"Wait. How are my friends?"
"Fine. We're contacting each other in a dream, traveler. No other way for us to speak. I must say, you have an outstanding amount of energy to stay awake this whole time."
"My name isn't Traveler, you silly filly! I'm Pinkie! Pinkie Diane Pie!"
The cloak rocked back with the pony's bark of a laugh. "Mine has been lost to time. I was made into an alicorn as a punishment, can you believe it. Left to cause a fate worse than death for all eternity."
Pinkie was definitely feeling sorry for this pony, whatever the problems may be. But the whole idea just didn't feel right. She felt that this pony wasn't revealing something.
"What do ponies call you?"
"Nopony calls me anything, Miss Pinkie. If you want a name, call me Sloth. A sin forevermore."
"Well, Sloth, we should go somewhere. See if we can get somepony back on their hooves and bring a smile to their face!"
The pony let out another sigh. "Where to, Miss Pinkie? There's not going to be anywhere that I can fulfill my requirements. Nowhere I can't taint. Nowhere I can't walk out, traceless, save for the peacefully sleeping populace left at my waste."
This line alone caused Pinkie to burst, "Geez, quit feeling sorry for yourself! So you can't always see eye to eye with everypony. That doesn't mean you can't try to make things right! You could have the same conversation we had right now, and that could be that!"
"Not quite."
"Not quite! Whaddaya mean not quite!?"
The pony gave her a look with eyes that suggested sadness beyond recognition. "Miss Pinkie, if I do this to anyone, they don't wake up again."
"Well, you..." Pinkie stopped herself. Did that mean...
"Yes. The same for you."
"But... but..."
And Pinkie bawled, bawled like the demise of the world was upon her shoulders, bawled as though she had caused a war lasting for dozens of years to spawn at the drop of a hat. She bawled, believing there was somepony in front of her, willing to take her from the life she lived, just to see if she had an idea to help it's own sorry rear.
"You... monster..." she sobbed into the cave floor.
"Well, that escalated quickly." Sloth cracked.
Her hair flopped off the side of her head, a shade or two darker than it's usual. Her entire skin became less saturated, leaving it black in the light of the cave. A gleam of murder drew into her eyes, her incisors just a tad sharper.
"You. Evil. Monster."
Now, Sloth was not stupid, just desperate. Sloth knew this girl was probably about to leave the shattered form of one poor imprisoned soul battered and beaten around the cavernous lair it had developed for this, so a crazy idea couldn't go too wrong.
Sloth attacked.
The alicorn drew its hoof back, throwing it at Pinkie in an attempt to stop the incoming potential for destruction. It connected, causing her to step back in alarm. The sin tried the same hit, trying to get her off balance, which sort of worked. Sloth managed to get it's hoof to Pinkie without a hitch, but Pinkie got one in too, putting a wrench in the olden pony's plans.
Now Pinkie had the offensive. She threw her front hooves up, tipping Sloth onto its back. She held it there, each of her hooves on one of its limbs, and watched it thrash.
She smiled a devious, dark, freaky smile, and promptly had it wiped off her face. Sloth got up, ready to go at it again. Pinkie flung herself at Sloth, pushing it back. It tried to fire a fist at the off-pink mare, but she sent its hoof away with hers, aiming a hit at its head.
They had backed into a cave wall, and Pinkie held each of its hooves against the edge. For whatever reason, she began to spit out questions.
"Why did you do this if you knew it what it would mean?"
"I think it can be reversed, I dunno thou-"
"Just for your own selfish desires?"
"Is my death selfish?"
Pinkie blinked, looked at Sloth, and her tone was surprised. "What?"
"That's what will happen. I've lived too long to remain here. I'll become a regular pegasus again. Then, I'll die."
"Well, I..." Pinkie's coloring returned to it's normal self, as did her hair, as did her teeth.
"Ready for reasoning again?"
"That's terrible!"
"No, it isn't. Immortality has it's own issues, and for everything I've caused, death is the easy way out."
"But..."
"My time came long ago, Pinkie. Peace lies after this. I'm ready to leave this world, bidding my farewells. If somepony reads a poem at my funeral, that's what it should say."
"I don't understand. I mean, I know you're really old and all..."
"Everything I cared about in the times I did care isn't here anymore. It's gone. It's dead. Just like I should be."
She sighed. "If that makes you happy. Let's get going. We need to find someone to reverse the process so we can get out of here."
She let go of her captor, watching it slide calmly to the floor.
"If you believe that will help." It carefully dusted off its face with its hoof, and they began a journey onward.
Meanwhile, Pinkie's body was being carried into Ponyville hospital.
"What are the symptoms?"
"She's unconscious, doesn't appear to be in any pain," Twilight informed the Doctor.
"Did you check for a pulse?"
"Yes. She is most certainly alive."
"Well, we'll need to keep her around for awhile. Make sure she can get up on stable hooves."
Twilight nodded. "I understand."
"Hopefully she wakes up soon," said Fluttershy faintly.
"We all agree on that," nodded Twilight.
The friends walked out of the hospital with a large degree of sadness. In fact, most of Ponyville looked at least a tad depressed. Pinkie had that effect on ponies, bringing joy to the world around her, thusly bringing joy to her. In her own words, “Smiling is contagious!”
"Well, Twi, can we look fer clues or some'n? I don' wanna sit here jus' doin' nothin’." Applejack was looking severely worried.
"I'm not sure what we'd be looking for."
"We can try anything!" Dash said. "Go looking for hoofprints, see if we can find some magic spells to get her back, something like that."
"Rainbow, it's not that easy."
"The hoofprint checking is."
"No, it isn't. They have her under constant supervision, and we aren't supposed to be there until she recovers, however slight the recovery is."
"Should we be sneaking in? I'm sure I can make some fabulous costumes for the occasion." Rarity had a huge smile on her face, as if she was begging for it.
"Rainbow's already in trouble with the law. We don't all need to get that way." Twilight had a stern look on her face.
They continued walking, hoping to come up with ideas.
"OH!"
Everyone turned towards Fluttershy.
"It's obviously either a spell or a disease. We'd see some marking if it was anything else. Now, I've never heard of a sickness doing anything like this, so I'm going to think it's a spell. And it can probably be reversed!"
The other four looked at her intently.
"To the library!" they shouted, and ran for the tree doubling as house and library. It was quite a large shape in the distance, not to be missed. "Based on the Seqponia tree, but much wider," Celestia said to Twilight the first time she questioned her new home.
They rushed in the door, and for the purpose of terribly stolen material, accidentally knocked over Spike.
"Oh, Spike! Are you alright?" asked Rarity, helping him to his claws.
"I am now," he replied, looking at her with what she didn't know as longing. "What's going on?"
"Alright, we're looking for a spellbook that contains a sleeping spell, possibly a coma spell. Let's get looking!" said Twilight, bubbling with happiness. She would be able to save her friend. Amazing.
They scoured the library quickly (Twilight and Spike especially knew it like the back of their hooves/ claws) and found spells that were close, but not enough.
"This is ridiculous! We have spells to shut ponies eyes, edit something they see, walk into their dreams, but no spells to make anypony sleep!"
The library had every last book piled on the floor. The alicorn had been staring at each page carefully and intently, finding no notes to bring her to the spell she was looking for.
Then, she got two bright ideas.
The first was Discord. Fluttershy had watched him eat all that paper, and the sleep spell could've been among them.
The second was Zecora. She was a great magician, and could inform them of a sleeping spell.
"Alright, I've got an idea or two. Fluttershy, do you know where Discord is?"
"Um, maybe. I think so," she muttered quietly.
"Good. Take Rainbow Dash and get him to talk about which spells he ate."
"He won't remember, Twi. He's Discord. He's not exactly going to be the most helpful friend," said Rainbow Dash.
"He might. Tell him the fate of the world is in his hands. Claws? Paws? Whatever, it might do the trick. Applejack, Rarity, you're coming with me."
"Where're we off ta, Twi?
She had a smile on her face that'd make Pinkie proud. "Zecora's hut."
The friends parted ways. "If you find any info, try to go where the others are!"
"Okay! See ya, Twilight!"
"Take care."
The Pegasi flew off, and the others took off running.
"We should have kept Fluttershy with us. How well do we know this tacky old forest?" Rarity said breathlessly.
"Well enough to get to Zecora," responded Twilight.
They navigated through the tangling weeds. Jumped over a low-hanging branch or two. Ducked and weaved around the natural barricades. Rarity was personally lucky to miss a sudden vine that Twilight nearly cut through her perfectly styled mane. Suffice to say, Zecora was not proving to be easy to find.
"Twi! Ah'm seein' some'n!"
She slowed to a halt and felt something bump into her.
"Sorry, Rarity."
"It's quite alright, Twilight. What is it, Applejack?"
"Her hut.. Ah hope."
Indeed, a small hut could be noticed just to the left of their current path, most likely as a result of the forest's constant change. There was previously a path straight to Zecora's abode. Now, the forest had overwritten it.
They climbed through the last sprinkle of trees, and came to rest at Zecora's doorstep.
The zebra's voice came from behind them. "Welcome ponies, walking far. Why are you here at this hour?"
"Hello, Zecora. Pinkie Pie is in major trouble." Twilight held a grim expression.
"Trouble, Pinkie Pie is in? What could, pray tell, cause such a din?"
"We don't know. We're here in case you can help," Rarity said hopefully.
"Perhaps, perhaps, though might I ask, what trouble's come of that pink lass?"
"She fell asleep. No signs of anything causing it, just a quick dip in her senses and she went under." Twilight maintained a solemn look, hoping it could help their more than worthy enough cause.
"I certainly see your problem here. Her final curtain can't yet draw near. Please bring me to the victim and, I'll prevent her from leaving this land."
"She is NOT gonna die!" Applejack said, furious at such a notion being brought up.
"Listen ponies, tales of truth, told to you throughout your youth. Tales that you've seen come true, to Pinkie this has happened too. Bring me to the joy that springs, and I will tell you of the sins." Zecora had a surprisingly dark look on her face. A face suggesting "Hey, she might actually die."
A silent thought of "Sins? What sins?" spread through the minds of the ponies gathered around the zebra. Twilight figured they'd find out soon enough. "Sure, Zecora. I bet the hospital will let you in."
Then she remembered the others.
"Applejack, mind getting Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash?"
"Cert'nly, Twi'." They came to the edge of the forest, parted ways with a quick hoof-wave, and went about their tasks.
Twilight, Zecora, and Rarity came to a halt at the doors of Ponyville Hospital, finding their friends at the door.
"Discord remembers nothing."
Twilight sent a gasp of air out of her lungs in such a way to suggest disappointment. Or however else you describe a sigh. "Well, we tried." Then she got another idea for him, but she figured Zecora could do very similar.
They walked back through the doors, itching to see Pinkie Pie.
"Who are you here to see?" The receptionist looked very tired. Anyone would, with a position like that.
"Pinkie Pie. Zecora here planned on seeing if she could suggest a condition."
The zebra nodded assent. The receptionist didn't look quite so convinced. "Why?"
"She's-"
"An expert in this situation, I could show you how her preservation, may be completely possible, just let me in to catch her fall."
"Ooh. You're that shaman! I remember you from Nightmare Night! Come on in."
She showed them to Pinkie's room. "Please, be quick in your visit and diagnosis." She closed the door behind her, leaving them with their fallen comrade.
Pinkie Pie heard the whole thing. Sort of. She heard voices outside of her range, sneaking in as though they were just far enough away from her eardrums.
"Do you hear that?"
"Yes. It's your friends, speaking to you. I happen to be using you as a sort of host. As a result, things that happen to you, happen to me."
Pinkie remained as confused as ever. How was all this working? Then, the voices became recognizable, and she could hear the voice of Zecora weaving her tales:
"The legend of the sins, among the oldest of the myths. Causing ponies any harm in any way that fits. The sins were previously average ponies, who were fine, but in the end an evil nature stole them from that time."
Pinkie could hear illusory magic being thrown around above her, most likely Zecora's doing. Creating a play of sorts for her friends.
"They traveled 'round and passed their ways down upon the masses. Some say another mare is cursed for each sun and moon that passes. The sins had numbered seven, and that has never dwindled. There's a sad tale for each of these; a world they have once swindled."
Sloth slowly nodded.
"Greed, among the first sins found, can cause somepony to, hoard anything they saw, gems, gold rings, you."
Pinkie was certain she looked at Rarity when she said this. She wasn't sure why, but she had a feeling it was about the time Spike grew bigger than Ponyville.
"Lust is the love that pushes us together, but unrequited leaves us under the weather."
Spike, she noted silently.
"Pride makes us unable to see, not giving in, not reasoning."
"Hold on -"
"Let her finish, Pinkie."
Pinkie bit her tongue.
"Envy makes us jealous, pits us against each other. It causes us to steal from the hearts of one another. Gluttony can make us simply intake just too much, causing us to get more and more and more and such."
"When will she-"
"Let her finish, Pinkie!" Sloth said, expressing traces of the next sin.
"Wrath causes anger, fights, bad moods, death and war. Without it we'd have peace at last, and we'd be pleased forevermore."
Pinkie held her breath for the next part.
"Sloth causes laziness, unwillingness and such. He seems to have visited Pinkie Pie, or so I have a hunch."
"So, what do we do?"
"Twilight!" screamed Pinkie Pie. "Twilight, I'm right here!" She was sobbing again.
"We can do nothing, Miss Sparkle, for despite all your powers, Sloth can trap without a trace, he doesn't need flashy powers."
Pinkie kept sobbing. Weeping. Making a small lake in the floor of her Dream Land.
"Come on, Pinkie. Let's get going." Sloth looked sad as well. The truth can sting, it thought to itself.
Several minutes later, Pinkie's tear ducts dried out. She went over and walked alongside Sloth, wordless.
"You aren't very chatty anymore."
"I don't wanna talk."
"I'm trying to make it up to you. I'm trying to find someone who feels pushed off their hooves. And when I do, I know you can help me push them back up."
"That's nice."
"Wow. You really are feeling bad, aren't you?"
She gave it the hardest look she could muster. (In all honesty, it would've been enough to make most bronies feel like they were under the gaze of Medusa.) "Yes. Yes I am. You've taken me from my friends, you've left me here so I can help you kill yourself, you've left my friends with no way to help me and we probably aren't going to find anyone to help. Of course I'm in a rotten mood."
She sulked along with Sloth at her side. The alicorn knew it wasn't like her. She'd proven that well enough. It remembered once upon a time, the sins were made to counter the Elements of Harmony. Was that who this mysterious mare was? An Element? Kindness, perhaps? Laughter?
"Have you heard of the Elements of Harmony?"
In a low tone, she replied, "Yes."
"The sins were made to counter them. There would always be a backup sin, in case the Elements broke through one. That was the original idea."
"So?"
"So, perhaps you were meant to be here. For me to find you."
"Maybe." And so they continued.
They walked along the settings the dream felt like conjuring. An old mansion. A lush forest. A ghost town. They continued through these places, aimless, reasonless. Trotting on through the abysmal settings, trudging, wordless, bored.
They stopped in front of Ponyville.
"Finally had enough of me, have you?"
"No."
"Well, go ahead, keep me, we'll cross the world again."
"The world is ever changing, Pinkie Pie." Sloth maintained a look of boredom. It's easy to be bored after thousands of years.
"We still found no one. We've dragged this journey on forever. There's nothing left. We can't create something out of thin air. Or thick air."
"Yes there is, Pinkie."
The mare shot the sin a look of pure annoyance. "Where are we going to find them, the afterlife? And how do you plan on getting there, Sergeant Smartypants Sloth?"
Sloth smiled coldly. "Remember when I told you that I needed someone to push back to the surface from some unfortunate depression?"
"Yes..."
"Well, I think I'm looking right at her."
She gave it a confused look. Then, that confusion turned to dawning realization. "Of course," she said thoughtfully. "If you made someone depressed, then brought them back, it would mean you'd be normal and you could be happy again!"
"Yes, yes it would." Sloth smiled to itself.
"Just one problem."
"Problem? What problem?"
"How do we tell the princesses?"
Sloth's face suggested it had just seen agony in it's purest form. "We... uh..."
"All this for nothing, huh?"
"Well... Maybe they could get out of this situation?"
"If I can't see my friends, why should the princesses be able to?"
Sloth sighed a great, magnificent, all-encompassing sigh. "We need to try. It's a children's cartoon. The main character always gets the happy ending."
"If you really think so..."
Sloth mustered his magic, and after a few seconds of huffing and puffing, a portal, partially past proportional to Pinkie Pie's pony body, appeared. Sloth poked its head through, then pulled back and gestured to the party pony.
"Tell them quickly."
Pinkie hopped through, and found herself in Canterlot Castle, among a regiment of slumbering guards and Princess Celestia. She bowed, as per the usual, and said a simple, quiet, "Hello, Princess."
"Pinkie Pie? What... how..."
"Are you tired?"
Princess Celestia gave her a look. You know those looks you get when you've done something silly and your female caretaker (be it wife or mother) gives you a glare for good measure. (And if you are either of those, you know the look even better.) "No..."
"Good! Come with me," said Pinkie, pulling the precious princess through the portal, and heard her gasp.
"You're alive still?"
Sloth nodded. "I'm sure we all are. You made us this way, all those years ago."
Celestia regarded it with odd curiosity. "It still amazes me. Alicorns may not die with age, but they have the capacity for suicide."
"You tried to kill me."
"I did."
Pinkie clapped her hooves. "Well, no need for this killing stuff now. We've got ourselves finished with your punishment thing, so we were planning on making Sloth a pegasus again."
Sloth nodded his head in agreement. Princess Celestia asked, "You understand the consequences?"
"Death, I believe," replied Sloth.
"Well, if it's what you wish to become... because you have earned alicorn status."
Sloth smiled, but there was no humor behind it. "I think I want to see my friends of old above all else. This new life isn't the one for me." He laughed his standard mirthless laugh. “I mean, where am I going to get a decent bite to eat?”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie Pie jumped in her seat. “Sugarcube Corner, Silly Slothy!”
Ignoring Pinkie’s outburst, Celestia stated, "There isn't any coming back once you change."
"Just make me a pegasus before I go."
Celestia nodded. "Okay."
She began her spell, when Pinkie interupped with a "Hold on a second!"
"Yes, Pinkie?" the alicorns asked in unison.
"Why aren't you falling asleep?" She gestured to Celestia.
"It's an enchantment I've kept around ever since the sins began their invasion. I have ones for stopping every sin on my hooves. When I heard of your condition, I believed that they were ready to attempt another attack on Equestria, so I made sure to get them working again."
"Alright. Go on then." Pinkie sat down and waited.
And Celestia fired a spell that beat down like a cannon, blasting Sloth with magical beams of horn-removal. But it was more than just that. It tore his connection to the magic of Terra itself, ripping it out of him, removing his magic from the universe's very being. He cried out, tears of joy and longing, tears of pain and anger, tears to see the love of all lives it had known again...
"Sylvan..."
And Sloth watched Sylvan descend, watched as the angel it once knew wrapped hooves of light around the neck of unworthiness.
Redemptive unworthiness.
And so Sloth felt the essence that once held together its mortal form drift away, and muttered its last words almost to itself.
"Thank you..."
It felt itself drifting up, carried by the wings of Sylvan, the glorius one that had become Sloth's ambitions all those years ago. It had forgotten what love truly meant to it. Immortality had that effect.
Pinkie and Celestia stood back and watched the events unfold. Pinkie Pie sniffled back tears, watching as Sloth passed on.
"I'll almost miss that pony..." she said.
"It's alright, Pinkie Pie. It is where it wishes to be."
They stepped back into their life just as the portal closed. "Say, how are my friends?" Pinkie asked.
"You can go back and see whenever you wish, Pinkie," Celestia said nonchalantly, smile gleaming down. "Although I'd like to point out that despite being a murderer now, I still don't mind company."
Meanwhile, Twilight was the last one sitting by Pinkie's bedside. She felt useless. Absolutely useless. Her friend was dead, or she may as well have been. She couldn't help, she couldn't sleep, she was useless.
Eventually she decided to walk out of there. Walk away from Pinkie, from her friend, because she couldn't face what had happened for one more minute. The harmony that once held them together was gone.
"Hey, Twilight."
She turned towards the voice, saying, "Oh, hello- PINKIE PIE!"
And she hugged the pink mare, almost choking her to death, which would have defeated the purpose of moping around her bed for the past several hours. Pinkie attempted to tell Twilight this, but she was busy talking.
"Oh my gosh, I was so worried!" Pinkie felt the air in her body slowly leave her without replacement, draining her.
"We were all so worried when you wouldn't wake up!" Pinkie attempted to heave in a breath unsuccessfully. This may be how it would end.
"Yay!"
Then Twilight noticed Pinkie frantically pointing to her neck with her hoof, and finally let her grip slacken. Pinkie breathed a massive sigh of relief, deflating like a popped balloon. Twilight, guilty as charged, said, "Umm, hehe, woopsie."
"It's good to see you too, Twilight. I'm getting kinda tired though."
"It's okay, Pinkie! You're alive, that's what matters!"
"Heh, yeah. Sure."
"Come with me, quickly!"
The party pony was pulled toward the library, and thrust down in a chair next to the journal.
"We've got an entry to make."
"Well..." Pinkie coughed, and began telling this tale as dramatically as she could muster.
"I was pulled into sleep by unseen forces. Dark, dark forces. I couldn't see anything, and I couldn't feel any friendship, and no love. Then, the forces revealed themselves as the legendary sins! Sloth himself brought me to depression, but at that point, I learned something extremely valuable."
She looked into Twilight's eyes.
"Your friends can help you with anything you need. And you should always be ready to return the favor."
She closed the book up. Twilight smiled at Pinkie.
"It's so good to have you back."
"Aw, Twi..." Pinkie blushed and turned, honestly embarrassed by the attention.
The unicorn came over and hugged the earth pony lower than her neck so as to avoid her earlier outcome, and the favor was happily returned.
"And while the path is unknown and the future is uncertain, one thing remains clear...
Man is free at the moment he wishes to be." - Voltaire
Author's Note
Dear Celestia,
I'm a terrible pony. I made you a terrible pony. I feel terrible. This is sad.
Also, I can't write regular, show-style fics. They come out like this.
(Can someone please let me know if I should add the Comedy tag or not? I just feel like the jokes fall too flat for me to add it.)