In a seemingly normal house in the middle of suburbia, (which actually was anything but) a small, blond child walked down the steps of his home. Wearing his striped pajamas and dragging his stuffed Tiger behind him, he walked up to a dinner table where his babysitter, an equally blond teenaged girl, was attempting to work on a school project.
"Rosalyn," he asked the teen, trying to sound as cute as possible. "Could you please check outside? I think I saw a monster out there."
"Calvin," Rosalyn said reassuringly, turning around. "There are no monsters out there. It was probably just a raccoon or something. Go back to sleep."
"Could you PLEEEAAAASEEEEE check? Just in case?" He made his eyes look so big and adorable Bambi would be proud.
"Oh, ok, if it'll make you feel better," The babysitter replied. She walked to the nearby back door and stepped outside, looking around into the darkness before her. All she could see was the vague outlining of various trees.
"Calvin, I don't see any..." Suddenly, She heard the door slam behind her, followed by a faint clicking sound. Rosalyn rushed to the handle and twisted it. Her suspicions were confirmed, it had been locked from the inside.
“CALVIN!!! You let me back in the house this INSTANT!!!"
"Don't worry Roz," The boy said through a closed window. "There's only 50% chance of rain tonight! Ha ha!"
"YOU'RE INSANE!!!"
Calvin laughed and left the window to go enjoy the spoils of victory. Rosalyn shouted out more threats and a few obscenities at him, but he wasn't listening. He was too busy savoring the moment. This child wasn't new to mischief, in fact it was his favorite past time. However, his rivalry with his babysitter was something special. They antagonized each other from the very beginning. She would scold him, ruin his fun and send him to bed nearly two hours early. He in turn did everything in his power to spite her. He stole her study material, said bad things about her to her boyfriend, and even called the cops on her one time!
But even with all that under his belt, he viewed this most recent event as his greatest triumph! With Rosalyn locked out of the house he could watch TV and eat cookies all night with his best friend, Hobbes the tiger, and boy was it fun! Even though the plot was eventually foiled by the return of Calvin’s parents later that night, and although he did feel bad while was being punished, Calvin grew to be extremely proud of his latest victory against his eternal adversary.
Unbeknownst to him, it would be the last time he ever saw Rosalyn ever again.
High leadership roles are always deceptive. You believe you'll be out doing things, making all the important decisions, really making a difference. Then when you get the position, you realize all it amounts to is doing a ton of paperwork. Royalty complains about this, presidents complain about this, and even principals such as Celestia complain about this. This thought just entered her mind as she was finishing the last contract that would finally cover up what was becoming popularly known as the "Equestrian Incident." When she got this job she thought she would make a big impact in young people’s lives, and in many respects she does. But she soon learned not only did this job require spending more time in a office then she would have preferred, but just the very word "principal" creates a bad taste in young people’s mouths. It’s like how most Queens in fiction take after the evil one from Snow White, the title simply implies nastiness. Celestia was able to subvert this trend and gain the adoration of her students, but it just was another reminder that leadership isn't all it was cracked up to be.
She was about to start another sheet when her phone began ringing, saving her from her eternal boredom. She took her phone off of its stand and put it up to her ear.
"Hello? Principal Celestia of Canterlot High speaking. How may I help you?"
"Tia? Hi, its me!"
"Oh!" Celestia exclaimed, recognizing her friends voice. "Hey! How are you? I haven't heard from you in forever!"
"I've been good. Incredibly stressed out, but good. You?"
"The usual. School dance drama, paperwork, aliens from another dimension fighting giant orange demon people. Its been pretty good."
"Uh huh," the voice on the line said, hoping Celestia was being sarcastic. "Anyway, I would love to chat, but I desperately need your help!"
"Is Calvin giving you trouble again?"
"Actually that's what I wanted to talk you about."
"Oh." Celestia started to get nervous. "What is it?"
"Well, you know how Calvin can be a little..." She paused to pick a proper word that would be safe for work. "rambunctious, at times.
"Rambunctious? You told me that he somehow managed to flood the house. MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!”
"OK, you have a point. Because of his... energetic personality, we could only find one person in town that would babysit him. And three months ago she moved! She went off to college and now I can't find anyone to take care of him!"
"No one? Out of all the people in your town?"
"I've been looking for weeks, but it seems Calvin has grown quite the reputation around here. Anyone who I ask just ends up bawling on the ground laughing at the very idea."
"Its that bad huh?" Celestia asked.
"I'm afraid so." The woman lamented. "So I was wondering if you could help me out? I know my house is a little bit away from the school but..."
"I'd love to babysit him and all, but I don't know much about children his age. I work with mostly teenagers." While this was true, Celestia also made this excuse because the thought of her babysitting that child filled her with a amount of fear that she never thought a six year old would be able to give her.
"I thought you might say that," Calvin's mom has learned from her past experience and can now read potential babysitters like a open book, "but that's not what I meant. You know a lot of teenagers, it's literally your job, so I was wondering if you could find someone responsible and ask them if they want the job. There has got to be somebody in your school who's up to the challenge."
"Admit it, the reason you want someone from here is that no one here has heard of Calvin."
"You got me," Calvin's mom admitted.
Celestia sighed. "OK, I'll think of someone. But it might take some time."
"Please hurry" the woman begged, "I've had to spend 3 WHOLE MONTHS without going out. I honestly think its effecting my mental well-being."
"I'll do the best I can." The bell suddenly rang, echoing throughout the halls, signaling the end of school day.
"I gotta go." Celestia said quickly. "I'll call you back."
"Alright. See you later."
Celestia hung up, gathered a few essential items, and began to walk out of her office and to her car. On the way, she thought about which of her students would be the best fit for watching Calvin. Celestia makes it her duty to get to know her students personally, it makes the learning experience more tailored for each individual, so no research was necessary.
"Fluttershy works with animals a lot," She began, "so she has experience in this sort of thing. But she's too soft; she won't be able to take Calvins insanity. Applejack is both responsible and tough, but I doubt she'd want to add a job to her workload, considering she has to balance both her schoolwork and running her family's farm. Rainbow Dash? Ha ha no. Um, who else? Who else?"
She was in the front courtyard thinking when a sharp cry sliced through her thoughts. She looked around to locate the source and her eyes fell on a student named Derpy (Celestia was still unsure if that was a just a nickname or not. If not, her parents must be very cruel people.) However, the cry did not come from her, it originated from the baby that was in her arms, which actually looked a lot like her. Derpy was trying to calm the baby girl down but to no avail. She looked like she was about to panic when another student walked up to her.
This girl was completely pink: her hair, her clothes, even her skin, was all differents shades of that color. The only area of her not pink were her eyes, which were a light blue, and a design on her skirt made to look like a bunch of balloons. Her aforementioned hair was so poofy it strongly resembled cotton candy and she mostly skipped to get places instead of walking. It was none other than Canterlot High’s resident party planner, Pinkie Pie.
She said something to Derpy (Celestia couldn't hear her because of both the distance and the child's crying) then she turned her attention to the baby. Pinkie smiled at her then began making a plethora of silly faces, many of which would be impossible for a normal human being to accomplish. The baby almost immediately stopped crying and instead started to laugh, which was so much more endearing. Derpy thanked Pinkie and walked away to her car.
Celestia began to rack her brain for everything she knew about Pinkie. She ran nearly every party related committee on campus, so she knew she was responsible. Pinkie got decent grades and rarely got in trouble, and even when she did it was only for an harmless prank. (She rarely did anything actually malicious.) She was one of the six students that stood up to the demon Sunset, so she was brave. And the moment Celestia just witnessed was prove that Pinkie was good with kids. It was a perfect match!
"Pinkamena Pie!" Celestia called across the courtyard. "could you please come here?"Pinkie cringed at her name being called by the principal, which Celestia has gotten use to. "Don't worry you're not in trouble." When Pinkie heard that, she immediately lost all her anxiety and bounced over to where the principal was standing.
"Whats up?" Pinkie asked casually.
"Pinkie I have a question for you."
"OOOO! OOO!" She suddenly burst out, "I know this one! Um, 27. No wait, 1892! No wait, Pineapple!"
"Pinkie, this isn't a pop quiz. I was just wondering, you've worked with kids before right?"
"Yeah, of course!" Pinkie declared proudly. "As a ultimate party planner, I have been in charge of a TON of kids birthday parties, plus I regularly babysit Mr. and Mrs. Cakes twins."
"Perfect! Pinkie, would you be interested in another babysitting job soon? A friend of mine really needs a good babysitter for her child."
"Absolutely!" Pinkie replied, "I'd love to help out! I need some cash to buy more party supplies anyway.”
"Great!" Celestia gave Pinkie the number she needed to contact Calvin's mom, then the party planner began to bounce away. But Celestia felt like she had forgotten something.
"Oh wait! Pinkie!" Pinkie stopped and turned around. "I forgot to warn you, the kid you'll be babysitting, he's can be a bit... misbehaved at times. So be ready for anything.”
"Don't worry Principal Celestia!," Pinkie said "I've met a lot of different kids in my life. And if I can handle the Cakes twins, there's no kid I can't handle!"
‘She has obviously never met Calvin.’ Celestia thought.
"IT'S SATURDAY!!!!" Calvin screamed, as he and his tiger Hobbes jumped up from their bed in joyous celebration! It was Calvin's favorite day of the week, the one day they were truly free! What were they free from you ask? Today they didn't have any school or homework, and there won't be any tomorrow either. (Not that Hobbes ever had to worry about such things, but that's besides the point) That means a whole day of no stress or dread, a whole day of spending time as best friends, a whole day of nothing but fun, fun, fun!
Calvin quickly changed from his pajamas to his usual red striped shirt and black pants, then grabbed Hobbes and rushed down the stairs at speeds that would make the Roadrunner jealous. He quickly made cereal for the both of them then plopped down in front of the television and put on an animated comedy.
"OK," Calvin began as he listed the plans for that day, "first, we are going to watch these cartoons while eating these Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs until we get super wired and Dad throws us outside. Then we'll do a relay from the tree house all the way to that stream in the woods while having a contest to see who can find the most disgusting bugs along the way. Then we'll..."
Calvin's mom, while walking by her child, overheard his conversation with Hobbes (She thought it was cute how he always had conversations with his stuffed animal) and interrupted him. "Calvin, if you're going to play outside today, you have to be back by four, alright?"
"What?" Calvin asked, "Why do we need to be back by then? It's Saturday and our bedtime isn't until seven, remember?"
"I know all that, Calvin. But Dad and I are going out tonight, and the babysitter will be able to keep a better eye on you if you're inside."
"Well I don’t see how that’s a good reason to...," Calvin paused. “Um, wwwhhaat did you say?”
“I said you’re getting a babysitter tonight.”
Calvin was speechless. After a few seconds, however, realization hit him, and it hit him HARD.
"BABYSITTER!!!" Calvin practically launched from his chair in fear and surprise. "Bu bu but... It can't be Rosalyn, can it!? She went off to college! Left town! Blew the coop! Hasta luego!"
"Do you even know what half of those mean?"
"Does it really matter Mom?! WHY IS ROSALYN BACK?!?!"
"She isn't," his Mother clarified. "It took me weeks upon weeks upon weeks upon weeks upon weeks upon…”
“I get it, Mom. Please get to the point.”
Mom shot Calvin a look, then continued. “but I finally found another babysitter for you. Her name is Pinkie Pie, a very sweet girl from Canterlot High from the next town over, and I want you to be on your very best behavior for her. I don't want you scaring her off like everyone else, OK?"
“What do you mean ‘like everyone else?’ Only Rosalyn ever babysat me.”
“Well that’s because no one else will even consider the idea of babysitting you because of all the times you misbehaved! Remember the time you crashed my car into the ravine? Or the time you made me chase you all around town to get you on the school bus? Or the time...”
“Temporary Insanity! That's all it was!”
“Convenient that you seem to go ‘temporarily insane’ every time you do something wrong.”
“I know right? I should really have that checked out.”
She sighed. “Calvin, just please behave tonight OK?”
“Alright, Mom.” Calvin said begrudgingly. But when his Mother left, he dropped the act, looked over to his feline friend, and started to unleash all of the panic that has been building up inside him for the past few minutes.
"Hobbes, WHAT are we going to do! This is HORRIBLE! I thought we were done with stuff like this once Rosalyn left! This is going to be a disaster! A DISASTER I TELL YOU!!!"
"Pinkie Pie," Hobbes restated, "That name sounds very... unthreatening, to say the least.”
"Oh, thats just to throw us off, I’m sure." Calvin started. "Its probably just a codename to make us lower our expectations so we aren't prepared when she actually shows up and turns out to be our worst babysitter YET”
“Huh, I suppose that would explain why her name sounds like it came out some some girls cartoon." Hobbes said. But Calvin wasn’t done ranting in fear.
“She'll send us to bed early, she won't let us eat cookies, we won't be able to watch TV, OUR SATURDAY WILL BE RUINED!!!" In his hysteria Calvin grabbed his friends collar and began shaking him furiously. "Hobbes, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!!!!!!"
"Uh..." Hobbes said, still dizzy from Calvin's assault.
"Great idea!" said Calvin, "We'll go on the offensive. We need to be ready to strike before she even has a chance to start anything. Come on, lets go get our stuff ready!" He started to run off to his room, with Hobbes quickly chasing after him.
"But what about all the things you said we were going to do today?"
"It can wait. We need to prepare for tonight!” Calvin almost immediately came up with a list of thing that they would need for the night ahead. “Alright, we need two liters of sewer water, a five and a half foot ladder, purple duck tape, our wagon, and a semi automatic."
"We don't have a semi automatic," Hobbes pointed out.
"Do we have any rifles?"
"Nope."
"Grenades."
"Nope."
"Missile launcher?"
"No!"
"Then what do we have?"
"There's a leaf-blower in the garage."
"Close enough!" Calvin smirked devilishly as he ran into his room. "This 'Pinkie Pie' character won't know what hit her!" he said as he slammed the door behind him.
"Well that took longer than expected." Hobbes said as he sat down on their bed after a long days work. It had practically took forever to gather the items they needed, because A. sewer water is hard to obtain without making yourself smell like last years garden manure, which inevitably leads to early baths, B. they were out of duct tape so they had to go to a nearby department store, where the workers were all distracted by some sort of Rock and Roll competition on TV, and C. Calvin was still dead set on getting that semi automatic, despite not being able to find one all day.
"I mean come on! We checked the department store, Dads tool shed, even the police station!" Calvin complained.
"Well, those guys wouldn't let us in the into the police armory." Hobbes pointed out.
"I'm not sure why not. I mean, we got a emergency on our hands! But apparently stopping criminals is more important than saving me from my babysitter.”
“Yes, apparently.” Hobbes said while rolling his eyes.
“But, never-mind,” Calvin said “we got enough supplies for the battle ahead. And look, someone's pulling up in front of our house!" Both boy and beast quickly ran up to their bedroom window to catch a first glimpse of their new opponent.
Outside their house was a fancy white car with two teenage girls in it, one in the passengers seat, the other in the drivers seat. They spoke for a minute, then the one in the passengers seat left the car and waved frantically to her friend as she drove away. Once she left the car, the two troublemakers could better see Pinkie.
The first thing Hobbes said was “Huh, didn't know babysitters came in decorative colors.”
“Must be a glandular problem.”
This babysitter was completely pink, the only area that wasn't were some blue designs on her clothes, which matched her light blue eyes. Speaking of her eyes, they were huge, taking up a large portion of her face. She carried a small handbag over her shoulder and had large goofy grin spread across her face. Her entire being begat an aura of adorableness that Calvin didn't want to admit. Hobbes however, had no qualms about doing so.
"Woo! She's a cutie, isn't she?" Hobbes asked, always the one to notice such things, much to Calvin's annoyance. But this time he didn't answer.
"But that's not going to stop you though, is it?" Hobbes asked Calvin. He still didn't respond; he seemed to be deep in thought.
Hobbes sighed. "I guessed so. I'll go set up the stuff." Hobbes attempted to walk to the closet where they stored their supplies, but Calvin put up a hand to stop him.
"Wait a second, Hobbes. Maybe we shouldn't do what we have planned. This babysitter seems nice," Calvin said.
"NICE!!" Hobbes exclaimed, shocked at how uncharacteristically his friend was acting. "Since when have you ever stopped your plans because someone seemed nice! It never stopped you from bugging someone like Susie, so why is it stopping you now!” He then realized what he was encouraging Calvin to do and realized he probably shouldn't do so.
“I mean, I'm not complaining or anything,” he added “but still, this seems kinda unlike you.”
"Hobbes, if this babysitter is nice," Calvin began while running to the bedroom door, "That means we will be able to mooch off her! We’ll have her do stuff for us! Come on!"
As Calvin rushed down the hall towards the stairs, Hobbes stared after him with a blank look on his face. "Yep, there's the Calvin I know," He said.
"Come on, Hobbes!" Calvin called back, "She might even be gullible too! We might be able to get away with stuff we would never get away with when Mom and Dad are home! Oh boy! This night is going to be better than I thought!"
As Calvin and Hobbes left their room to greet their new babysitter, Calvin's parents were giving Pinkie Pie the usual rundown. This time, however, they seemed to be rushing through it, as the prospect of finally having a quiet night out for once was just too irresistible to delay.
“And help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.” Calvin's Mom said, wrapping up. “There is also food in there for Calvin’s dinner. We should be back by eleven.”
“Okie Dokie!” Pinkie replied with her usual wide grin.
“Oh, and I almost forgot!” Calvin’s Dad exclaimed. He quickly dug into his wallet and handed Pinkie a large sum of cash. “Here’s your advance on tonight’s visit. We’ll pay you the rest when we get back.” Pinkie looked down at the cluster of bills in her hand with a confused look.
“But I didn't ask for any advan…”
“Thankyousomuchbye!” The parents spat out simultaneously as they blasted out the door. They went by Pinkie so fast that they caused her to start spinning out of control like some sorta neon colored dreidel. Meanwhile the couple went out the door, climbed into their car and drove off into the night.
Pinkie was eventually able to stop herself from spinning, though not without accidentally knocking down some of the surrounding furniture, of course. As she got less and less dizzy, she slowly began to notice the spiky haired blond child staring back at her from the bottom of the nearby staircase, the child looking very confused.
“”Ooo!” Pinkie squeaked. Ignoring Calvin’s look, she immediately bounced over to where he was standing and kneeled down so they could see each other eye to eye. (How she was still about to jump correctly after just being spun around like she was about to play “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” is anybody’s guess)
“Hi there! You must be Calvin.”
“Uh, yeah. That’s me.” Calvin said, as he cautiously extended his arm for a handshake. This proved to be a mistake however, as when Pinkie grabbed his hand she began shaking it so rapidly his entire body was being flung up and down. Not helping was the fact that while Pinkie was doing this, she also started to go into a rant about whatever subject entered her brain.
“Well it’s really nice to meet you Calvin I’m Pinkie Pie your new babysitter I don’t know what other babysitters you’ve had but you should know I’m going to be your best one! We’ll play games, eat snacks and just have a lot of fun! Do you like having fun? Oh of course you do everyone does! For fun I throw parties spend time with my very very bestest friends and make cupcakes OH! Do you like cupcakes? I love cupcakes! They are so sweet and delicious and…”
“Coooouuuullldddd yyyyooooouuu ppppllleeaaaseee stooooopp nnooooww?!” Calvin begged in between Pinkie’s run on sentences
"OH! Sorry!" Pinkie smiled sheepishly as she let Calvin go, and after vibrating for a few seconds he began to regain his footing.
"Well it is nice to meet you. I bet we’re going to be the very best of friends. Hey!" the pink haired party planner exclaimed, suddenly forgetting that she just swung Calvin around like an ameuter knight flailing his sword. (Or like a fish flopping around in a fisherman's hand, whatever metaphor works for you.) Pointing towards the stuffed animal Pinkie asked "Who's your little friend?"
"That's Hobbes, my man eating tiger. I won't get too close if I were you."
"Aw, why not?" Pinkie asked, pouting. "He looks so snuggly."
"That's just on the surface, but in reality he's a cold, calculating killer. He mercilessly stalks his helpless prey, usually myself, and attacks with cunning accuracy. He'll rip your organs out in a second! He's a monster!"
"Well, he's the cutest threat to my life I've ever seen!" Pinkie said as he picked up Hobbes and started to playfully squeeze him.
"HEY!!!! You cut that out!" Calvin yelled as he swiped Hobbes out of her hands.
"Oh, come on Calvin!" Pinkie replied. "I'm just having a little fun."
"I suppose I can respect that." He looked over to Hobbes. "And you wipe that grin off your face."
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Both of the humans looked up startled.
"Wow! What was that?" Pinkie asked.
"It was probably Hobbes growling to warn you about hugging him again."
"Actually, I think it was your tummy."
Calvin looked down at his stomach and realized this was true. He hadn't eaten since lunch and he was pretty hungry.
"Lets get you something to eat, kiddo." Pinkie said as she began to walk towards the kitchen with Calvin and Hobbes in hot pursuit.
Pinkie remembered Calvin's Moms instructions and went directly to the fridge to take out Calvin's ready made dinner. What she found however was a plate of green sludge covered with plastic wrap. She looked at it and cringed.
"Ugh. Is this what you eat for dinner?"
"Sadly yes." Calvin said. "That is none other than my mother's signature dish, veggie glob."
Pinkie lifted up some of the plastic wrap and inhaled, doing so caused her face to become as green as the food was. (The smell reminded her of the farm she grew up on, never a good sign.)
“Ewww!!! This stuff is disgusting!!! Who would want to eat this?”
“I know right? That’s what I tell Mom and Dad all the time. FINALLY someone who understands!”
Pinkie smiled then looked back into the fridge.
“Sadly, I don’t really see anything else to make for your dinner…”
A shiver went up Calvins spine, but he calmed when he realized what he had to do.
“Then it's a good thing I already ate dinner.” Calvin proclaimed, lying through his teeth.
Pinkie looked confused. “Then why did your Mom leave this plate of food for you?” She looked down at the plate. If you can call it food. Pinkie thought.
“It more resembles a plate of nuclear waste, but thats off topic. The thing is, My Dad was the one who fed me earlier, so he probably forgot to tell Mom he already fed me.”
“Oh, OK. But then why was your tummy growling earlier?”
“Well, I ate dinner a while ago. I guess I got hungry again. Maybe I should have, oh I don’t know, some dessert, maybe?"
“Great idea, Calvin!”
Calvin internally made a sigh of relief. “Awesome! I’m gonna go get some cookies!” Calvin began to run towards the cookie jar when Pinkie stepped right in front of him.
“Hey, don’t do that!”
“Aw! Why not?” Calvin asked.
Pinkie giggled. “Because I already brought a very special treat for you, silly!” Pinkie patted his head then walked over to to her handbag that she left on the nearby table a minute ago. She took out of it took a large box, which was six times the size of the bag.
“Wait, WHAT!?” Calvin thought to himself. “How can someone have a box that big fit into a bag that small?! Is it some sort of magic trick? Did she and Mary Poppins go to the same babysitting school?”
“I’ve never met Mary Poppins, but I’ve always wanted to!” Pinkie responded.
Calvin was taken aback. “Huh? Wait? What?! HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING!?!?!?!?!?”
“I read your thought bubble silly.” After saying this, she paused then giggled. “Oh wait, we aren’t in a comic strip right now. Sorry, these crossovers always make me a bit confused.”
Calvin went from puzzled to disturbed in 0.8 seconds, but that disappeared just as quickly once Pinkie revealed the contents of the box in her hand.
“CUPCAKES!!!” Calvin yelled in delight. It was truly a sight to behold; over a dozen culinary masterpieces all lined up in neat little rows. Each delicacy was just the right size, not small enough to eat in one bite but large enough that you can justify eating several. The actual cake part was extremely moist and the frosting was so creamy. The pastries were of every color in of the rainbow, there was even a rainbow one in there. It all looked so delicious that Calvin's mouth started running like Niagara Falls and was forming the Indian Ocean at his feet.
Pinkie set the open box at the table and Calvin rushed to it, grabbed a light blue cupcake with rainbow frosting took a huge bite out of it. But when he did, a red gooey substance started coming out of it.
“Um, Pinkie.” Calvin asked. “What’s this stuff?”
“Oh, that’s my new invention, the Jelly Filled cupcake.”
“Jelly Filled cupcake...” Calvin repeated. “Genius!”
Soon enough, Calvin was eating one after another, shoving several into his mouth at once to get as much flavor as possible, all while Pinkie looked on, happy someone was appreciating her baking. But while Calvin was munching, he looked over at Hobbes, who looked a bit left out.
“Pinkie, can Hobbes have a cupcake too?”
“Um, sure. Why not?” She put her hand into the box and pulled out a red cupcake that had pieces of salmon sticking out. “I always put one unusual one in there just for times like this.” He put it right in front of Hobbes who looked very excited. After that Pinkie looked at her phone to check the time but that reminded her of something.
“Oh NO!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Your Parents forgot to tell me your bedtime!”
Calvin chimed in before Pinkie could react any further. “Well I can tell you that. I go to bed at midnight every day.” He was hoping to get a later bedtime then he usually does, as (obviously) he wasn't allowed stay up till then.
“You’re really allowed to stay up that late?” Pinkie said with a raised eyebrow.
Calvin, not wanting to push his luck, backpedaled, but just a little. “Oh wait, that’s only during the summer. Heh heh. Now my bedtimes 9:00.” (This was still later then his real bedtime, which was 7 o’clock)
Pinkie lost her suspicious look immediately. “Okie Dookie Artichokie!!!”
“Phoof!” Calvin thought. “She bought it. She’ll probably buy whatever I say! I could get away with so much! Heh, heh, heh heh!!! Wait…” “Um Pinkie,” He asked. “You aren’t reading my ‘thought bubble‘ again, are you?”
“Nah, I only do that for comedic effect. Why?”
“Nothing! Absolutely nothing!”
After that, Pinkie brought out some board games from her handbag (which still didn’t make any sense) and the three of them played for some time. They were having a lot of fun, and all the while Calvin was thinking “This might be the first babysitter I actually get along with. This is great!” Pinkie was also began to enjoy Calvin’s company, and she began to wonder why his parents and Principal Celestia were filled with such contempt for him. The game eventually ended with Calvin winning, and even though Hobbes said he and Pinkie let him win, he didn't believe it.
“Lets play again!” Calvin proclaimed.
“Great Idea!” Pinkie said. But suddenly, a song started playing out of nowhere.
“Cause I love to make you smile, smile smile!” sang the music. Pinkie blushed, brought her phone out of her pocket and checked the caller.
“Ooo, I have to take this.” Pinkie said. “You two just have fun by yourself for a while, OK?”
“Sure.” Calvin said. Then, when he and Hobbes left the kitchen to let Pinkie talk in peace he asked his feline friend. “Hey, want to watch TV while we wait? I hear ‘Zombie Chainsaw Homecoming Killers’ is on tonight.”
“You’re not allowed to watch that.” Hobbes pointed out. “I doubt any kid would. Isn’t that the movie so gory it single handed invented the NC-17 rating?”
“Yep! Its allowed to be shown on TV since shows have gotten gorier as time went on, but its still legendarily gruesome.”
“Aren’t you afraid Pinkie will catch you?”
“Are you kidding me?! She’s so gullible that she’ll believe anything I say. I’ll just come up with some lie and we’ll be home free.”
Calvin sat down in his chair, turned on the screen, and flipped it to the correct station. After a few minutes of watching the program however, Pinkie came out of the kitchen.
“I’M BACK!” She declared. “So what do you wanna do now?” She walking into the room just in time to see a zombies head explode in a shower of blood.
“WHOAH! WHOAH! WHOOOAAAHHH!!!” She yelled. She suddenly dove over Calvins chair, grabbed the remote, did a backflip and landed right in front of the TV where she turned it off.
“Hey!!”
“Calvin! What are you doing!? You shouldn’t be watching something like this.”
“Well, actually,” Calvin began to tell another lie. “”I watch stuff like this all the time. My parents let me, sometimes we even watch it together for movie nights.”
Pinkie blinked and, for the first time that night, frowned. “Calvin, just how stupid do you think I am?”
“Is this a rhetorical question?”
Pinkie growled. “Calvin, no parent in their right mind would let their kid watch something like this! It would give you horrible nightmares for weeks! Are you lying to me?”
“No, no, not at all. Heh heh heh.” Calvin was caught off guard by Pinkies sudden assertiveness and started rambling.
“I find that hard to believe.” Pinkie shrugged, “I guess the only way to make sure is to call your parents and ask them.” She brought her phone out of her pocket and put some of her fingers on its screen.
“You wouldn’t dare.” Calvin said.
“Why not?” Pinkie asked.
“Um, uh…” Calvin babbled, extremely nervous.
As she started typing in the number Calvin increasingly began to sweat. His clothes began drenched in saltwater as Pinkie held the phone up to her ear. But before Calvin's parents could pick up however, Calvin cracked under Pinkie’s torture.
“OK YOU WIN!! I'VE LIED TO YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING, MY BEDTIME, MY DINNER AND EVEN THIS! PLEASE DON’T GET ME IN TROUBLE!!!”
Hobbes facepalmed.
Pinkie gasped very loudly. “Calvin, after all the fun we had and all the stuff I did you for you been lying to me this whole time!? Really!?!” Pinkie began to really feel betrayed and looked heartbroken. “I thought we were friends.” Calvin felt a little bit guilty, but his guilt dissolved into fear as, without warning, Pinkie went from sad to furious.
““If that’s the way its going to be, fine! You want me to be mean, FINE!!! Go to your room!!”
“But…”
“NOW!!!!!!!!” Pinkie yelled at the top of her lungs. Calvin and Hobbes dashed out the living room and up the stairs. When they got to the safety of Calvin’s bedroom, Hobbes finally showed his annoyance.
“We could have watched anything! We could have watched a cartoon, we could have watched a sitcom, we could’ve even watched the nightly news for all I cared, but NOOOOO, we have to sit down and attempt to watch the goriest thing on the air!”
“Oh shut up, Hobbes.” Calvin said. He then walked over to the closet and brought out a cardboard box.
“Hey, isn’t that where we put the stuff we were going to prank Pinkie with?”
“Eeyup,” Calvin replied.
“You aren’t going to prank her are you? I thought you didn’t want to get in trouble?”
“We’re going to get in trouble anyway, when Pinkie tells Mom and Dad what we already did tonight.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. Because you’re going to help me. Since Pinkie hates us now, we have to show her that she isn't in charge, or she’ll end up just like Rosalyn.”
“You know, if you hadn't have lied to her, none of this would have happened.”
“Hey! This isn't my fault!,” But the look that appeared on Calvin's face, even if it was just for a second, said otherwise. “Besides, there isn't anything we can do about that now. Lets just go do this.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.
For the next few hours, Pinkie stayed in the living room, sometimes flipping through channels, sometimes playing on her phone, all the while still miffed that Calvin lied to her like that.
“I mean come on!!!” She thought to herself. “After everything tonight he still went behind my back!! Who knew one kid could be so bad.”
“Pinkie?”
Pinkie turned around in her chair to see Calvin staring back at her from a dark Kitchen.
“Calvin” She said, annoyed, “I thought I told you to go to bed.” She got up and walked towards Calvin's voice, but before he could find him however, she stepped on something. This something had wheels apparently, as when she stepped on it is caused her to wobble around with one leg, trying to regain her balance. She suddenly felt someone push she, and that made she roll over towards the nearby ceiling fan. Pinkie’s big, poofy hair got caught in the propellers, and before long she was spinning around creating an even bigger pink twister then when she first walked in. Not helping was the fact that someone duct taped a leaf blower onto one of the fan propellers and put it into a position that it would blow directly into Pinkie's face while she spun. After a few minutes of flying however, the fan suddenly stopped, and the force launched Pinkie across the house into a open closet, where Calvin was waiting to slam the door shut.
“Hold it!” Calvin exclaimed. He quickly opened the door and, before Pinkie could escape, threw a water balloon right at her, leaving her soaked. He and Hobbes held the door shut and started laughing.
“CALVIN!!!” Pinkie shrieked. “Let me out RIGHT NOW!!!!”
“No way!” Calvin replied, having more fun then he probably should.
“I’m going to break down this door!!!! Three, two…”
“We’re HOME!!!” Cried Calvin's Mother, entering the front door.
“Oh, no! Run, Hobbes!” The two ran away from the doors and up the stairs. Right after they left Pinkie rammed herself against the door but since there was nothing holding it there, she crashed into some more furniture. (Her and the furniture aren't getting along very well.)
“Pinkie,” Calvin's Father asked, a little too nonchalantly “what happened?”
Pinkie took this opportunity to go into another rant.
“Oh, it was AWFUL!!!! At first everything was fine, you know? We ate cupcakes and played games and even more stuff but THEN he’s watching something whose gore rivals Mortal Kombat and I told him not to watch it then he LIED to me then he said he’s been lying to be ALL NIGHT about his bedtime and dinner so I was mad and sent him to his room but then he came out pulled a prank on he then TRAPPED ME IN A CLOSET!!!!!!” Pinkie started panting, as she was tired after all that complaining.
Calvin’s parents looked at each other, then back at Pinkie.
“That's it?” They said simultaneously.
This response underwhelmed Pinkie, to say the least. “That’s it? THAT’S IT!!!!! WHAT, ARE YOU USED] TO THIS KIND OF STUFF!??!?!?”
“Sadly, yes.” Calvin’s Dad said. He chuckled. “I’m just glad the house is still standing.” He then yawned and started walking up the stairs. “Well, I’m turning in. Goodnight you two.” Calvin's Mom then turned to Pinkie and put some more bills in her hand.
“Here’s the rest of your pay. I, um, understand if you don’t want to babysit anymore.”
Pinkie internally debated the issue. On one hand, tonight was absolutely terrible and she didn’t want to do it all over again. But there was something about Calvin’s acts of defiance that seemed like he was challenging her. Pinkie could win over any child with her fun-loving charm, and not being able to do so with Calvin made her feel threatened. She decided then and there that she will return, and she will defeat Calvin.
“Oh, I’ll be back.” Pinkie said, finally answering Calvin's Moms question after five minutes of internal monologue. Pinkie then yelled up the staircase “YOU HEAR ME CALVIN!!!! I’LL BE BACK!!!!” She then stomped out of the house and slammed the door behind her.
“Wow,” Calvin's Mom said. “That went A LOT better than I thought it would.”
“Hey Hobbes, you ever get the feeling that you just unleashed something really powerful, and now you can’t stop it?”
“I feel that way anytime you get one of your ‘bright ideas.’”
