Chapters We do it tha Earth pony way!
Sweet apple acres. The most popular place place to go for some piece and Quiet. If you didn't mind Having to Avoid The apple work, and you have a good reason to be sleeping there Apple Jack would grant you your piece. It is here that Apple jack happened to be Sleeping,her hat tipped over her eyes, in the shade of a tree recently bucked. It had been some time sense she had a day to herself and with big mac and granny smith at the market, and apple bloom off with the crusaders she couldn't help feel some what melancholy. The day prior had been hearts and hooves day and she didn't have a very special somepony. She Never had a special somepony....Not that Nopony had offered or asked, quite the opposite, she found herself hiding in her barn from suitors but they all lacked something,nothing she could put her hoof on but it was pretty significant if she skipped a holiday to avoid them all. The only hearts and hooves day she can remember where she had a truly good time was so long ago.
Sweet Apple Acres, night;Several HeartsnHooves days ago
"Ey apple jack?"
"Yeah six?"
"Yah Ever wonder how we get our cutie-marks?"
"Yah have to discover yer special talent! everpony knows that!"
"Yeah, I know That...But I mean how? I mean, earth ponies like ya'll don have magic right? How do yah get cutie-marks with no magic? An who gives em to us?"
"Heh, you're thinkin to much...I think We get them ourselves ya know? Aint nopony more reasponsible than me for me gettin my cutie-mark!"
"But That rainbow? Rainbows don just Fly Through the sky like birds Apps. Somethin missin...."
"C'mon Six, no need to look into it like thaat~! Cmon aint this just a pretty night? Seein all these stars?"
"Yeah...Yeah I guess their allright... How many ponys you think are looking up right now..."
"Hmmm...Maybe lots, maybe none...Ive seen this enough to know it aint worth missin."
"The Stars?"
"Aeyup. Nothing like star gazing with a friend on hearts 'n hooves day ya know?"
"So...Why drag me out here? Aint like Yah need me..."
"No I don't, chur right. But it's still pretty."
"Are there any Star apples?"
"Star apples?! What kind o' question is that?! Noooo there aint no star apples!"
The young mare laughed to herself in spite of herself
"No star apples, but sometimes There are these special apples that grow round here. Zap apples they call 'em. Granny smith knows tha secret signs and we start preparin the second she starts gettin the pans...I think We're do For some perty soon, good thing yer here, else we would have to buck 'em all ourselves."
"I don undahstand Why I gotta buck 'em. I got A horn, I could pick 'em with magic! Then maybe they wouldn't taste like ground-"
-WHAM-
A Buck to the teeth sent Six flying. He landed on his back about a foot away.
"Don't chu ever say poor bout My apples!"
"-cough-F-Fine! gosh! Just sayin! Might keep 'em off the ground, away from worms n what not!"
"Sweet apple acres has always,and will always pick apples the earth pony way! I told yah that already!"
"Yeah, yeah. 'leave yer fancy magic at that gate stallion, We don use magic On the apple farm!' I remember."
"Darn Straight! Now Let's get back home, get teh bed. Big Mornin tamarrow!"
"Big? it aint nevah Small...C'mon I'll walk ya back."
Six Stepped a hoof or two ahead
"In yer Dreams! C'mon hows bout I race ya Instead?"
"Winner Dont buck till afternoon?"
Apple Jack spat into her hoof and six did the same. They grasped each others hooves and shook firmly
"Deal! Go!"
When I think Back on that first meetin...It makes me wonder. I mean if everythin happens for a reason, then what was this ones? I mean...I aint nevah been caught stealin 'fore then, I jus' slipped inta tha crowd with nopony the wiser but that time...I don know...I gotta find out though, itll kill meh if I don...Like I said, I work on Cheddah farm, I haul things. Hay, milk, cheese, timber, anything that needs liftin' or movin, Im the pony to go to. Miss Swiss is a fine lady, She's pretty, kind and knows a ponies limits but she don tolerate laziness. She knows yer limits an if you aint workin at em then ya mine-as-well pack yer bags. She been good ta me fer the years ive worked here, but I hope she undahstands why I gotta do this.
Cheddar Ranch, Present day
Six-string lifts several boxes of Fresh cheese onto a wagon drawn by four strong stallions with a dapper old Unicorn Inspecting the work
"Careful now~ Careful Now~ Don't Drop it~ I'm paying top bit for this shipment and I don't want it to end up like the last one~!"
Goddess This Fella betta shut up 'fore I stop being gracious<
The Crates Slid Easily into the back of the wagon and the stallions had to Straighten up to handle the weight of their cargo, the Unicorn smiled and stroked his mustache with his hoof, pleased his shipment was loaded
"Ahh~ There's a good lad~ I'm glad to see you've straightened up your act from the last time I placed an order~! Now you're just an Illiterate Unicorn, not a complete waste of space~! Ohhohoho~!"
Laugh it up yah posh fossil<
Six Smiled through the insults as he subtly twisted the bolts looser on the wagon
"No prolem Sir, Ifin that's it I bid yah good day. Got allot of Illiterate Unicorn warm work to do ya see an i'de like to get to it."
"Ohohoh~! Of coooourse that's right! You haul things around like a mule~! Ohhh How Amazed You must be with my higher education~! I feel Soo bad a Unicorn has to wallow in such thilth~! Here boy, have two bits- No take three~! Get yourself a book~!"
I bit mah lip hard keeping a smile, the last time this unicorn came by and placed an order he did the same thin. Back then, All I did was Buck his fancy wagon back down the road, wife still inside. That got me inta some trouble with Miss Swiss but it had been worth it. As it turns out this unicorn was one of the only buyers left in Cheddah Ranch Cheeses, apparently He grew up on it and no other cheese would do but that didnt stop him from paradin his ignorance about like a...well a parade.
"Oh thank ya kindly sir, I'll certainly do jus that. Now you have a safe ride ya hear? Them roads back ta cantlerlot are pretty rough round here."
"Ohhh I know~! I absolutely Neeeeed to find some pegasi to pull these wagons~! Oh yes that's right, you're a domestic...You see Pegasi is the plural, meaning multiple of, the word Pegasus. And a Pegasus is A flying pony~!"
"Ohhh wow sir~! I didn't know that~! Me an my Dumb self aint nevah met No pegusisis before~! Now you get on outa here an have a save trip."
"Will do young colt~! Thank you for the chance to educate A barbarian Like yourself~! Oh yes, a barbarian is-"
THAT'S IT~!<
Six lifted the Unicorn onto his wagon hastily and gave a nod to the stallions who smirked and took off in a rush down the rough unmarked road to cheddar farms, as Six had told them to do the day prior while This unicorn and Miss Swiss Had talked Business
"AN GOOD RIDDANCE YA STUPID PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT!!!"
Six felt very good now, very very good. Proud of himself even, and all this was washed away with an angry yank of his tail. After a yelp of pain he turned to See Miss Swiss, a off yellow mare with a stringy brown mane giving him her infamous Stare
"Six...My office...Let's go..."
~~~~~~>>>
"Six Listen I'm not saying He doesn't Deserve it, luna knows he deserves it! But you cant do that! You just cant! Listen you're one of my last reliable hands, I wont fire you if you tell me whats up! I've noticed you've looked down for some time now, and don't lie to me!"
"...Ya ever have a special somepony Miss Swiss?"
"Yeah why...Ohhhhhhhhh....I get it...You're missing...Ahhh, that...makes allot of sense, Didnt she-"
"Eeyup...Element of Honesty an erything. Im just..."
Swiss sighed and embraced her Trusted farmhand, wrapping a hoof over his back and resting his head across her neck
"Honey, you need a break...Till you get this settled I dont want you on this farm."
"Wai-What?! I dont wanna leave Miss swiss! I mean jus cause I wanna see 'er don't mean I don-"
"Pup-pup! Not another word! I cant let you stay here! Heart-sick or not you're a liability! Plinko will be back to complain about what you just did and if you're here thatll make things worse! Go out there, solve this business, then haul flank back here. "
"Miss swiss..."
"C'mon, go pack your things. Ill give you the bits I owe you for this month and next and you'll be back in that time and I wont have to worry about you paying me back. Two months leave,two months pay."
Swiss went over to a picture on the wall and placed it on her desk revealing a Black safe behind it. She dialed in three numbers for the magical lock to click open and pulled out a size able bag of chinking coins, then she shut the safe and remounted the painting
"Here you go! There's a little extra in there just in case. Call it your Hearths day bonus."
Six picked the back up in his teeth and cracked a smile
"Tanks mers Swers"
"Honey dont talk with your mouth full."
Six rolled his eyes and lifted the back with magic
"Thanks miss swiss...Mighty kind of ya."
Six trotted out of the small office cabin and across a field, the cows grazed happily over a stretch of land that wasn't nearly what a cow should have for grazing but it was all they had now and the cows respected that. He waved to them and continued on to the Workers cabin, and by workers cabin he meant His cabin. He was the only resident worker. He looked around, admiring the simple comforts of a bed. He trotted over and pulled a saddle bag pair out from beneath his bed, loaded the Money into one bag, and a few flowers for the road into the other. The Only thing that belonged to him in the room was a guitar with a broken string, with an iconic apple cutiemark as frets. he floated it down and plucked a hair of his own and restrung it, strummed it and tuned it then slung it across his back.
"Gud bye little room of mine...Be back soon..."
Six trotted out of the cabin, past the cows, past the Office, past the Rough dirt path and down the virtually unused road that led up to the farm. He took a look back at the farm as the wind picked up and blew his mane in front of his eyes. It was dying. It didnt look entirely dead but soon.
"Be back soon..."
With that he started to trot down the road, heading towards the grand city in the distance. Phillydelphia.
{quick note, uhh i mention equestria daily in here...I don't mean anything by it, i just dont know a good cannon newspaper...well...i do...but its run by children...so...not reliable}
Sweet Apple Acres-Several Years ago
"Six! Six! Six let Big Mac Get it! It's fine he wants ta! Don't go anotha branch higher!"
A very young applebloom had been flying a kite and it got stuck in a tree,granny smith had taken her into the house to make a new one and stop her crying but seeing as how apples need to grow on trees it was hardly effective to have a kite stuck in them, before the decision of how or who would remove the kite was actually determined Six had Took it upon himself to get it...with no experience in climbing.
"Six-String you lunatic! Get Down!"
"Sorry Ma'am. But I gotta get that kite, lil apple bloom cryin like that don make me feel good."
"She'll get over it! Get down!"
"She shouldnt needa get ova it, gettin ova it is what ponies like me gotta do. Innocent lil ones like that, betta off not havin to learn that lesson till latah!"
It was Bic Mac who spoke next, not quite a stallion yet but easily twice the size of anypony his age
"Get down from there, Dontcha believe I can get it?"
To hear bic mac leave his vocabulary was something six hadn't ever heard before
"Six! Just grab it with magic!"
"No! ya said no magic on yer farm!"
"Ferget what I said! Grab it with yer magic then get down!"
"Not till I get that Kite!"
"If you don come down, I'll make ya come down!"
"Oh really? You an what army?"
Applejack smirked and turned around slowly and lifted a hind hoof and tapped the tree
"The army of me! Now git down!"
"Big mac! C'mon buddy! Help uh brony out!"
The large Red stallion approached the tree, laying his hooves on its trunk
"Eeee-"
A death glare from applejack brought the Great bucker away with a small twinge of knowing what that look meant
"Nope."
"Augh! Some help chu are! Ey! Hold on Aj! I almos got it!"
Applejack frowned turning herself to look back up at the tree, but before she could speak a loud -SCNACK- Echoed down from above, big mac leaped to push his sister out of the way of the falling debris but Six had no such luck, his fall was broken by broken branches,leaves,dirt, and apples. The Kite, torn into fine ribbons, was lodged mostly in his mouth, the rest floated out of the tree peacefully.
"Six!"
"Im...ohhhh...celestia, that tickles..."
"Shudup ya darn foal! What were ya doin?!"
"Climbin...climbin an-augh...climbin and fallin...Hey listen aj...When did big mac dye his coat? Heh heh...He looks sooo bad in tapioca jam pudding blitz..."
Sixs' eyes fluttered as he lost consciousness and he fell into the blackness of comatose
The outskirts of Cheddar Farms-present day
Six woke up from his nap underneath a tree, he had been having these dreams lately, reliving his experiences at sweet apple acres and more precisely, his memories of Applejack. He struggled to get up off his haunches, fighting the atrophy of a long nap in an awkward position.
"Eahhhawww~ New day, new...new...Skunk it I'll just go."
He readjusted to gravity and ground as he took short easy strides, his limbs waking up and losing their tingly feeling, he gave each a good shake once they had returned to normal and smirked as he scuffed the grounded and took off in a hard gallop
"Applejack! Here I come!"
Fillydeplhia docking yard-present day~before six woke up
"Get outa here yah lazy gud fer nothin!" [Please vacate the premises, you inactive,ner-do-well]
A white pegasus with a golden blonde mane found herself flung out of the window of the Equestria Daily, filldephia offices her belongings soon following behind her. A rather gruff looking pegasus with far to much stubble and coffee stains on his lips popped his head out after her, shaking his head of confetti
"I got ernough to welly about wirf all da papas comin in an nopony to dever 'em! cemprenda?" [I have enough to worry about with all the papers being printed, and no equine to adminester them to the public. Have we reached an understanding?]
"Uhhhmmm...No? I'm sorry printing press but you reeeeeeaaaaalllly could use some speech lessons, I mean I'm nopony to do it but I'm sure somepny would! I mean, its just reallllly hard to understand you sometimes...Allot of the time...Ok all the time, but reeeeeaaally! I don't mean to mess up! it's just not really my thing! I'm more-"
"Barfoons and pertnys! Erf know!" [inflatable air sacks and galas. I am aware]
"Balloons and Parties! Right, exactly! It's my special talent! I mean c'mon i did a great job in there!"
"Youf sperft mih confee!" [you have caused my hot cocoa like beverage to splach itself on my person]
"Yeah I did throw you a party! See it's in there!"
"GEEEEEEETTT OOOOOUUUUUTTT!!"[vacate the premises]
Surprise understood that much, she flew below to gather her tossed belongings, a suitcase filled with bobbles and toys, a compass that always pointed south...
"or was it west? Maybe Southestneast! That's the best Direction!"
Can I continue pegasus protopinky?
Can you?
If I stop doing this for shear entertainment value
But...That's what writers do silly! well...maybe not YOU but most do!
Ok im done...sorry everyone...couldnt help it...
Back to cannon...
Surprise picked up her things, astonishingly nothing had broken. Small black marks on a few things like socks and wing gloves (because everypony knows wings double as hands...) but everything else seemed just fine. She stuffed it all in her suitcase and smiled as she flew off towards the carriage hub. Cloudsdale was a ways out, and there was NO way she was going to make that flight without food...or money...
"Huh...No money...Ohhhh well that won't be a problem!"
Her eyelid twitched lightly as she smiled
"Twitchy eyelid, means A new friend!"
Cloudy, with a chance of friendship.
Applebloom,sweetybelle,and scootaloo sat in the middle of sweet apple acres. Literally, in the middle. They had measured.
"Applebloom..."
"Yeah scootaloo?"
"I'm bored..."
"I know..."
"Ooh ooh! I have an idea!"
"If you're about to make a chicken joke-"
"Let's play chicken! oops, I mean scootaloo~!"
"That's it!"
And with that, the little orange chicken did give chase to the snarky, witty little marshmallow.
"Aww c'mon girls! don't do thaaat~! C'moooon now we're never gonna get our cutie marks this way!"
"How do you know that?"
"Because! We've already done it! A bajillion and a half times!"
"Yeah but not in the middle! Not the middle middle! We measured!"
"And that was boooooring!"
"Yeah! And who wants a cutie mark in measuring things anyway?"
The little white filly had a point. Not a one of the legendary crusaders wanted to be a mathematician.
"Hey! I know! Let's go find Rainbow Dash! She always has a good story!"
"..."
"..."
Sweetybelle stopped chasing her friend and applebloom sat up to give her Purple maned flightless pegasus friend a true stare.
"What?"
"You, do know it's Sunday right?"
"An Rainbow don't work on the weekend right?"
"Wait...Rainbow Dash doesn't work weekends?!"
"Seein as yer the president of her fan club we thought you knew."
"No! I thought-"
"Wait...How could you think Rainbow Dash worked the weekends? She's always whining about work."
"Rainbow doesn't whine! She...Procrastinates! And when all you have to do is clear skies, and you do that in ten seconds so why bother waiting any longer than that?"
"Because then you could get more work done?"
"Oh? What about Rarity! She alllllways waits until the last possible moment!"
"What?! You did NOT just compare my sister to Rainbow Dash!"
"You're right, I said she was WORSE than Rainbow Dash!"
"Why you-!"
And the dynamic, non-earth pony duo proceeded to chance the other in circles as applebloom rolled on her back and looked up at a tree
"things used to be exitin around here...it ain't fair..."
Fillydelphia-five minutes after sixs' nap
Six trotted into the city, he had been here once before some time ago. Things back then were different. Smaller. Now, every time he looked up he saw a pegasus fly by, carrying mail to some unknown location as earth ponies dragged carts full of miscellaneous parts and pipes to and from large factories. This really was the heart of the industrial equestria. Even blimps hung in the sky, aloft and waiting boarding.
"Aeyup...Look's like that's mah ride..."
Six smiled to himself, how would applejack react to him landing in the middle of sweet apple acres...well...I guess...that would depend on if she even remembered him...Or...If she even liked him...Well...like him THAT way anyway...
"like Ma'am always says. Yah ain't nevah know till yah find out."
It was at that moment he saw the kind of ponies that boarded on the balloon.
"...Aw no..."
Fine,pampered,clean,rich ponies...not a single true country pony amongst them. The bits they poured into the ushers collection box was much more than he had in his pocket.
"oky doky loky. New plan. Just gotta find the taxi station...Bet applejack don't even care fer flyin ponies, to...well...I don know! Six stop talkin to yerself! It's o.k!...Ok...yer done...Just...Taxi...Yeh..."
He trotted onwards, following signs that were about as confusing as an epileptic rabbit high on sugar and he got a fair bit of strange looks from the hoity toity ponies, most likely cause he was undoubtedly blue collar and he wasn't working... Or maybe it was because he was just so faust-damned handsome...
"Excuse me young sir. Are you lost? I'm not quite sure where you're supposed to be, but I could point you to your foreman no doubt."
Six turned to the young mare, she was younger than him and yet still had a sort of...maturity, noooo definitely not...It was the stuck up arrogance of every other pony in a suit he had ever met.
"scuse me?"
"Oh how how cute. You have an accent. Well then you're most likely employed in the west district. Maybe..."
"Lady. Back up. I ain't nevah hit a mare, and I ain't nevah gonna. But by celestia you are temptin me somethin fierce! Point me in tha direction of the txi stop an I'll be gone outta yer precious air space."
"Well I never!"
"Course ya haven't."
Six decided not to give the mare another chance to press his buttons and cantered off to find the taxi depot.
Taxi depot-a minute of so after Surprises' premonition
"Ohhhh where could my new friend be? Hmm...Old friend, old friend, old friend, yelly friend, jelly friend, jingle friend, no new friends! How am I going to get...Where was I going? Hehe I don't even remember~ isn't that funny? Hehehehahahehehohhehe~~!"
Ponies looked up to see the hovering,giggling,pegasus as she floated through the crowd as if she weren't upside down and flying backwards.
outside the taxi depot, as surprise started giggling
Six troted into the station, looking around it became aware to him these too were meant for rich ponies. It surprised him how much transportation was ready for the rich and how few were ready for the poor, of course he was only going off looks. It wasn't like he had asked but his pride wouldn't let him be shut down and if he made a scene, which he would, he may be arrested. Then things would become really difficult.
"So...I'm walking...How did I expect I'de be walkin..."
"Ahehehehahahahoohooheheheha~! Ooooh look out~!"
With a loud and crashing thud the white pegasus with a golden mane and the grey unicorn with an orange mane collided, knocking them both to the ground
"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-HHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUU~!!!!!"
"Taint nothin...Just watch it next-...Why are you jumpin?"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!"
"Hey...ya'll ok? Didn't...Didn't hit yerself to hard did ya?"
"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH~!!!!"
"Ok...Now you're kinda creepin me out..."
"YOU'RE THE NEW FRIEND! Icantellyou'remynewfriendbecauseiknoweveryponyinFillydelphiaandI'veneverseenyouintownoroutsideofitbeforeandthatmeansyou'renewtoFillydelphia! Ohhhh and that means you need a party! OhI'dthrowyouapartybutIjustgotfiredandIcan'treallysparethebitsbutohhhhifIcould! Itwouldbesoooocoool!"
"SLOW DOWN!!! Gad dang! You Fillydelphia ponies can sure talk!"
"OhamItalkingtomuchortofast? Igetthatallotfromnewponieswhodon'tquiteknowmeyetanditmakessomereeeeeeaaaaallllyyyymadbutsomethinkit'squirky."
"Do yah have corn in yer ears?"
"nooooooooo silly! Of course not!"
"Now...I don't know if yah actually stopped yammerin...Or yer just waitin fer a longer sentence..."
"Was I really yammering? Like, Blahblahblahblah? Or blahblahbleeblewblah? Ooooh! Or maybe yammeryammeryammeryammeryammer!"
"You...Are crazy."
"Noooo I'm..."
She was gone...in a puff of white smoke she was gone...then she popped out of Sixs' mane,sawed her way into his hat and jumped out with it still on her head.
"ssssuuUURRrrPRISE~!"
Six clutched his head, sifting for how exactly she had managed to get into his mane in the first place
"Ohhhh don't worry about that. It's just a writing device used by the author to make connections to the post production version of me! Ohhh I love her! She's soooo random! It's like the 4th wall isn't even there!"
"...Ok...So...First, yer givin me back mah hat...then...I'm gonna turn an leave...An I'm gonna try an ferget this ever happened. And I'm gonna pry to celestia you're just...in need of bucktape...lots of bucktape..."
Six snatched his hat,in the time it took for his hoof to pass from the front of her face and onto his head something had changed. The White mare was crying,her eyes at least twice their normal size brimming with tears as she rubbed her hooves together.
"I-I'm sorry...I-I just...I just wanted to be your friend...I...Don't...Well...Bye..."
As she turned and flew slowly away,weeping sixs' heart tore. He hadn't meant to make her cry, what kind of stallion makes a mare cry? She was just being friendly in her own weird, invasive, talkative way. He slowly trotted up to her and stuck his hat on her head, being dragged by her slowly by the undercord which he held on to with his horn... Not magically...
"Awww don't...Don't go. I'm just on edge, I ain't familier with this city an I just discovered I gotta walk to see this girl I like an she's all the way in ponyville an-
The whitemare made an about face, a smile spread accross her cheeks
"A giiiiiiiiirl?! A very special somepony kind of girl?!"
Six blushed an apple red and dipped his head to hide it, knowing that hiding it from this mare was just out right futile.
"Ohhhh it IS a specialsomepony! Noooo problem Mr.Hat! I can sooooo foresee a pony being mad about walking! I HATE walking. But I mean, what am I gonna do right? It's like mama surprise said, 'Surprise get your head out of the clouds...No literally sweetie the weather team needs to set off some lightning!' Hehe, good times..."
"...I don't know how-"
"Heeeeeyyyy! My mane is bouncing! That means I'm gonna come with you!"
Her mane was indeed bouncing of its own volition, bobbing up and down to a beat that Six was sure only Surprise could hear.
"What? I aint lookin fer comp'ny."
"Ohh yes you are! No reason to find your special, your VERY special somepony if you're not lonely! I'll follow you there! I need to go someplace anyway so I figure it's where you need to go too."
"...I'de talk you out of this...But...You'd just follow me anyway wouldn't you."
"..."
she looked up at her bouncing mane a moment,then back at six
"Yes."
"I'm-"
"Says that your name's six string."
"What?! How did you-?!"
"Says on you're guitar."
"Oh...Yeah, well it does..."
"Hehehehahahoohooohehe...We're gonna be better friends than derpy and the doctor!"
"Who?"
"Exactly."
"I...I don think I undastand..."
"Don't understand what?"
"...Nevah mind..."
"What mind?"
A loud ringing in the distance and the tit-tit-tatting on the roof of the depot made six sigh...it was raining...
Song-What I learned out on the road, by Kid Rock. Please support the official release.
[Note, the song has been modified for pony usage. Thank you.]
It was raining.
"Sooooo...Rain...Whatta ya plan to do now mister?
"...I plan ta walk in this here rain, get ta ponyville."
"What? That's a pretty dumb idea. Why would you walk in this rain, it's dumb."
"You callin me dumb?"
"...Mayyyyybe..."
"Ah don hear you commin up with any good ideas."
"That's cause you can't hear what I haven't ever said~! Duh, Silly~!"
Six shook his head and sighed, the white pegasus was about as bright as a dark,cloudy night but she did seem to be...Earthbound. In the sense that she wasn't at all uppity toward him, which meant she was ok in his book. However she was crazy, an unhealthy level of crazy at that.
"Oooh! I know! Let's go to the soggy bucket!"
"The soggy bucket?"
"It's a inn in town and in the inn in town is a nice bed with my name on it! Ohhh and the best muffins this side of the...something...C'mon let's go!"
Surprise grabbed his horn and started dragging him out, he protested by putting his hooves out and using them to brace in the ground. This yielded no effect in the muck of the mud that had become the streets of Fillydelphia and the only thing he accomplished was getting his hooves covered in mud.
"leh go of mah horn yah crazy-!"
"But...We're here?"
Six looked up at Surprise, despite the oncoming torrent of water her mane was still...poofy, the water hit it,but then it just slipped down it like it was protected by some antiwater shield. Six on the other hoof was not so lucky, his desperado hat was drooping with wetness and his mane was now dropped in front of his eyes which made surprise giggle.
"Hehehahahohehe~! You look good with your mane soaked and fallen over that eye!"
"Yeah well...Shudup! Let's just git inside."
Surprise,stil laughing opened the door with a wing as six trotted in miserably, what made it worse was as he trotted in he was hit with a blast of water that engulfed his body.
"haha! oops, Sorry there friend!"
"Yessir, terribly,unequally sorry for that little fumble. Didn't know you were walking in!"
"But hey, ya gotta admit,you're dryer than when ya came in huh?"
"Yes everpony look! Our fantastic machine had indeed used water, to dry off this kind stallion!"
"And, sense we're so sorry it hit cha by surprise. We won't charge you a thing!"
Six rubbed the water out of his eyes and whoever had addressed him was right, the water was strangely warm,clearly magically enchanted and it had done it's job, only his mane remained wet but his coat was dry and more importantly so was his hat, he floated it off and dropped it on the hat rack and ran his hooves through his mane getting the water on the floor. He looked at the room around him, rather spacious for an inn, especially when he took into account there was maybe thirty ponies excluding himself,surprise and the two unicorns mounted atop what appeared to be a giant hose. They were clad in peppermint striped suits, one had a mustache and the other had long hair.
"See for your self everpony! That fair stallion is now dry!"
"Hazah!"
The crowd was clearly enamored by the duo and six might have been too if he weren't a little too ticked they had shot him with a small lake of water.
"Hey! I don know who ya think you are but I ain't no guinea pig! Now git down here so I can buck you both in your ugly,matching mugs!"
"Wellhellwell, Brother of mine. Looks like we've got a challenger!"
"I'd say we have that indeed. Well sir, if your looking for a good, fair contest of strength-"
"We're afraid you came to the wrong place! We're pacifists you see, we don't fight like neanderthals."
"But! If you'd like to wager that guitar-"
"Show what, if any-"
"Skill you have with it-"
"We'd be more than happy to agree to a sort of-"
"A kind of-"
The word they were looking for found them both at the same time and they sang it in a harmonizing tone
"Competition~!"
Six stared at the two, that last bit wasn't them looking for the right word,they harmonized on purpose. They were suggesting a battle of musicians and they had just shown him that they could work a crowd,finish each others sentences,and sing in harmony with the other...To a musician, those things were a dangerous combination. Especially sense they already had a hoof or two on the crowd.
"Hey surprise...Can ya sing?"
"do-re-me-fa-so-la-si-doooooo~!"
"Naw I mean sing, sing."
"I've never been THERE before! I hear it's pretty bad."
"I'm bein serious!"
The pegasus frowned but nodded
"Good, yer mah backup, an that means you two are on."
The duo smiled as their horns shown a bright green light as their hose fell back into their machine
"Now, fillys and gentlecolts what has just happened here is that-"
"This stallion right here has issued a challenge to us-"
"That we have graciously accepted-"
"it is a musical competiton-"
"And the winner is decided by you fine folk-"
"Yes you! All of you decided which duo of ponies you thought was more-"
'More-"
More-"
"Non parlie~!"
And with that they shot a dual stranded magic beam at their machine and it began clunking out a sort of melody, the duo hopped on their machine and started bobbing to the beat. It only took them moments to get into the groove of their self composed beat and work the crowd like devils, spraying nonsense science about how their machine turns cider into hot water that magically drys ponies and how this was essential to everyday life. The only two ponies not on-board completely by the end were Six-string and Surprise. The duo ended with a slide through the crowd, ending at the hooves of six.
"Yeah!"
Surprsie floated to Six hesitantly and lowered herself to his ears to keep their conversation private
"I'll distract them. You go and drop a bunch of eggs down their machine while I stop nightmare moon...I think if we're quick enough, and lucky enough...We might make it look like they were actually bad up there."
"That weren't singin, that was show. No substance. C'mon. Just follow my lead."
Flim and Flam bowed to Six as the moved their machine so he could get to the tiny stage, six adjusted the microphone and Wrapped his guitar in magic so it could project to the crowd.
"Ahem, check one, check two. Mic, Mic, Mic...Okay...
Headin' for the south lands, lookin' for some fun Down below that Trxie mason I know your the one My tongue is chasin' my eyes are wide, I can see paradise I been down here only once or twice but I ain't never seen it look so nice
ahhhhhhhhh yeahhhh~
ahhhhhhhhh yeah yeah~
I like it with the grass cut low Big mountain tops, valley below I love it when you scream out my name
Surprise chimed in as she picked up her cue
Six-String,
what you say?
Six-String,
what you say?
Six-String,
what you say?!
Six-String
Yeahhhhh!
Cause I'ma bad maama jamma from Detrot city Rock from southern Applebama back to Big-Macanow city I'm raw and greedy, show me, gimme, I'll nick it Gimme a Flimmy and a Flammy I'll kick it Pick me up lady or beam me up scottie Late night shaddy let me slip it in your body I'ma scramblin' ramblin' straight travelin' colt Spreadin' Moejo Sam, please understand
From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road
You know I've tried a thousand times and I've tried to explain And I've cried a thousand times over things that I can't change I've learned a lot you know, I grow each passing day And I blame nopony but myself for mistakes that I have made
Bein' a bad maama jamma from Detrot city Rock from southern Applebama back to Big-Macanow city I'm raw and greedy, show me gimme, I'll nick it Gimme a Flimmy and a Flammy I'll kick it Pick me up lady or beam me up scottie Late night shaddy let me slip it in your body I'ma scramblin' ramblin' straight travelin' colt Spreadin' Moejo Sam, please understand
From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road
Lord knows when your not here, I get so damn bored of me And I've spent some lonely nights that didn't have to be And if you could only see, I swear I'd show you true And although I carry a load out on the road, I wanna come back home to you!
From Detrot to New Foal-leans I love the life but I never sold my soul All them late nights, and early mornings Let me show you what I learned out on the road
From Detrot to Canterlot I love the life but I never sold my soul From Ponyville down to Filly Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road Let me show you what I learned out on the road~!
The only thing more satisfying to six then watching the crowd stomp their hooves so hard on the floor of the little inn that it made the whole place shake, was watching Flim and Flam slink out the door with their machine in tow avoiding any and all ponies between them and the exit
"OHMYGOSH SIX~!"
"Aeyup...I ain't to bad..."
"Nooo not that! You didn't muddle up to many words! You should sing everything you say!"
The featured song is "Hallelujah" by...well allot of people have done this. I'll give credit to Rufus Wainright and Then leave it to speculation and of course Hush now quiet now. This is aslo modified to meet pony standards. The bold is Italic bold is six, the normal Italic is A.J. And Italic,bold,underlined is them both in tandem.
Edit: Wikipedia says the song was written by a man by the name of Leonard Cohen. Soo... There ya go...
Six and Surprise had sense stepped down from the stage, and got a room. Surprise had taken what was left of sixs' money to go buy supplies for the long walk to Ponyville. He was alone with his thoughts and his trusty instrument. He lifted it onto his lap as he lay on the edge of the bed, he took a deep sigh in as he began plucked the strings. The first song he could ever play.
I heard there was a secret chord,
"Oh that applebloom..."
She picked it up and tossed it on her bed, she slid onto her bed and let her hair down and carefully drew a hair from her mane and restrung the instrument, tuned it and struck a chord. She noticed the chord and frowned. She just meant to make sure it was in tune, the chord she played brought her back to Six, she had thought about him in increasing frequency this whole week. Sense the wedding, and that burst of love. It made her feel like...Like she was missing somepony...She continued tugging to the tune she knew all too well.
Well it goes like this The fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled girl composing Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah~
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
Hallelujah, Hallelujah~
Maybe I've been here before
Hallelujah, Hallelujah~
There was a time you'd let me know What's real and going on below But now you never show it to me do you? And remember when I moved in you? The holy dark was moving too And every breath we drew was hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah~
Hallelujah, Hallelujah~
Maybe there's a God above
Its not a cry you can hear at night Its not somebody who's seen the light Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Surprise sat in the door frame looking at six quizzically
"Huh. I dind't know you could sing pretty! I thought it was just what you did down there."
"Naw. Ah had ta work ta sang like that. Learned How to sing proper from a unicorn out in ponyville. Real proppa thing 'erself. She taught me how ta speak like some uppy folk round here do."
"Well then why don't you?"
"Ain't who I am."
"Yes it is...Kinda! You leeeeearned how to do it! So why not right?"
"Cause-It-Ain't-Me. Plus, it stresses mah...Teeth..."
"Your teeth?"
"Yeh, mah teeth. Now drop it."
"Ohhhh touchy touchy! Annnnnyway Mr. Cranky pants, I got a whole bunch of stuff for tomorrow. Assuuuuuming you don't eat like a pig,or a cow...No...You SHOULD eat like a cow! If you could eat the same thing for a day than that would be great! We'd have enough stuff left to throw a party! Like a 'Welcoming the welcome party party!' Ohhhh that'd be so cool!"
"Calm yerself girl. Ah don think that'll be a problem. I figure, long as we stay on thah path, we'll git there in about three days. Worse comes ta worse we eat some of the grass long the way."
"Wait...You mean like WILD grass? Woah! That's so-"
"Barbaric? Neanderthalic?"
"Coool! I didn't know you could THAT!"
"Healthier than shovin cupcakes down yer maw erry day."
"Maw nom nom! Heheha! ... So... That song you were singing."
Six rolled his eyes and layed the Guitar against the leg of the bed as he drew the covers over himself
"Drop it."
"But it was pretty! Who taught it to you?"
"A friend! Now go ta bed!"
"But I'm not sleepy!"
"To bad!"
"Play me a lullaby?"
"No."
"Pleeeeeease?"
"I don know any."
"Awwww yes you do! I KNOW you do! Everypony does!"
"Aw celestia not THAT one."
"C'mooooon~ Hush now-"
"Quiet! Now, Go ta bed!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease~! Please, please, please, please, please~!"
At this point the white mare was jumping on the top bunk of the bed, sinking in so much that Sixs' head was being pummeled with plush mattress.
"FINE!"
"In your Handsome voice please!"
Handsome? Mah singin voice is handsome?<
"Oh goddess stop sayin please..."
"Forever? Or just right now?"
"Git in bed!"
"O.k o.k....Cranky Doodle Donkey..."
"Who?"
"Nopony."
"Ya done?"
She nodded and pulled a small stuffed bear from her mane, six conveniently missed this as he floated his guitar back onto the bed and lay back on the pillows and sighed as he gave a quiet note that would be his tempo.
Hush now, quiet now it's time to lay yer sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now it's time to lay yer sleepy head
Driftin' off to sleep
"...You only know that much? What about the rest."
"Ain't never heard the rest."
"Ffft, some musician."
"Awww jus go ta bed!"
Six floated the guitar under his bunk and threw the covers up over him with a grunt. He couldn't get any sleep though. Memories and thoughts of apple jack ran through his mind.
"I miss yah girl...I'll be home soon..."
Six tugged at the borrowed suit next to big-mac and braeburn, across the room apple jack would shoot an occaisional look over to him. The Annual Apple Family barnhouse bash Was in full swing and the dreaded slow dance had started. The adults (save Granny Smith) were already dancing but the kids were a little reluctant to move an inch
"Well ONE of us has to go there!"
"Yeah but who? Can't be big-mac, celestia forbid he talk to a girl."
"...Aeyup..."
"So...What? Rock, Paper, Scissors?"
"I could jus kick ya?"
"No! C'mon Six...Let's be fair! How bout a coin toss?"
"Ugh...Fine, fine...Heads..."
Six reached into the breast pocket and took out a coin, tossing it into the air with a short jolt of magic. It Flipped once,twice,thrice, and it traveled a good distance. To the other side of the barn, it then landed in a bucket of water with a -thunk-. And that added weight on the full bucket sitting haphazardly on the rafters of the rickety old farm caused a little bit of physics to occur...The bucket tumbled from its place and would have landed and soaked an oblivious Applejack, were it not for six galloping in its way, knocking her slightly to the side. The bucket landed instead squarely on Six's head, drenching him and the borrowed suit in lukewarm water. He didn't say a word. As the laughter rose high into the rafters he didn't say a word. He just clopped out, his head high and his hooves heavy. Applejack followed him.
"Six! Six! Wait Six!"
"Oh. Boy. Tit's you. Whadda want A.j, can't ya see I taint rerly in the mood fer whatever joke ya was plannin to-"
She embraced him, wrapping her hooves around his neck firmly and pulling him close to her.
"Why did you do that? You dummy."
"Ah...Ain't done nothin a real colt wouldn'ta done...Aint no fret."
"I woulda been soaked. Yer soaked."
"Aw really? Didn't Notice."
The music echoed from within the barn and the two broke their embrace just barely, just enough to look into each others eyes awkwardly.
"So...Now that it's just us...Care to dance?"
"You can dance?"
"i'm full of surprises cowboy. Whadda say?"
Six smiled and wrapped his arms loosely at applejacks neck, letting her lead
"Uhhhhmmm, errrr....A.J?"
"mmm,yeah six?"
"This is our secret k? Last I want is big-macs crap fer lettin his lil sis lead me ina dance..."
"Hehe...Ok, yeah...Our secret."
She leaned up and kissed him gently on the tip of his muzzle, as she departed from his lips they both blushed a big mac red and looked at each other deeply.
"O-O-O..."
"Aeyup...Our secret..."
"Can I Have-"
They giggled and realized they were thinking the same thing as kissed once more, dancing in an odd square-circle as the music faded into the back of their minds.
Six Stretched out in the small cot. He thunked his head on the Top bunk but he didn't mind. His dream had been to good. In fact, not a thing could ruin his day. He slowly worked out of the bed and looked at the top bunk, Surprise was still fast asleep. Most likely she wasn't used to waking up on farm hand time. Six grabbed his hat and silently moved down stairs. The inn keeper was up and about, and so was his wife. He was portly, like a cake and she was thin like a twig. Six smiled and greeted them with an honest smile and a tip of his hat.
"Mornin y'all two...Say...You two need any help?"
The bat pony with a for a cutie mark smiled and shook his head and his skinny little wife mimicked him
"Alright then...I'ma grab a shower, Holler if y'all need anythang."
They bid him a short farewell as he trotted towards a door reading "Bathing" and stepped inside.
Six walked out and grabbed his hat, hung on the rack outside the now wet stall. He magically dried his hair, and sat it atop his head as he walked out. When he did, he looked upon the main room. The inn was smaller than he thought, the machine the con artists had held in here must have been magically shortened because the room only had four, pony sized tables. Each with only room for maybe three ponies, four if one were small, more if they were all small, even more if they were all pegasi...Perhaps they could fill the whole barn comfortably with a hundred small, pegasi...Was this what it was like to be Surprise? How strange.
"Howdy."
It was the only thing he could think to say, seemed polite enough and the ponies he had addressed though so too, they smiled at him as he trotted back over the couple behind the large wooden beam that was supposed to be a counter.
"What's fer breakfast?"
"Welp, we gots yer pancakes, yer waffles, yer eggs, yer breakfast salads, yer-"
"I'll take twelve pancakes, extra syrup."
"Hokay mac, that's 36bits."
"Yup, got it up in mah room. Could ya wait a spell?"
"I'll get 'em started partner."
The Chubby Earth pony walked back to a door and popped it open and the pent up smell of The breakfast foods wafted into Six's nostrils. The heavenly aroma of the pancakes particularly pushed to the forefront, the mixed batter drawing his muzzle up in a dream like way. He practically floated up the stairs to Surprises' bag. He sifted through gently and removed his money sack. 40bits left...
"hmm...This'll be worth it..."
He trotted back down stairs and placed the small bag on the counter just as the Earth pony returned, he took the bag and dropped it into a register with a particularly deep slot.
"Ain't gonna count it?"
"Nope. We the trustin type. Didn't feel like ya were too light, think there might be more than asked in there, 'ats why we gave ya few extra. Fer yer lady friend upstairs."
"Heh...Thanks partner."
Six waited just a few moments as the pony went back to the kitchen room, when he returned a tall,steaming stack of pancakes hovered next to him, his wife's amber magic field keeping it steady
"I-I-I-I"
"An ta thank ya fer geetin rid of them flim flams, ponies buyin dryness ain't good fer business ya see."
"A-any time..."
Six took over the levitation from the mare as she trotted back to the kitchen, her husband in tow. Six trotted up with the enormous stack of delicious pancakes floating cautiously above him. The high ceiling proved a benefit as he came close to connecting with it. He made his way up the stairs and into the room, laying the plate on the floor and floating off a few pancakes. He tore into them like a hurricane, just as Surprise began to stir awake.
"Murrrrrahhhh~ Goooood morning world, how are you?"
"World's fantastic Surprise. Jus plain awesome. C'mon I got us some pancakes."
"Awwww, breakfast in bed...Wait...Did we...Did we do it?"
Six took a pancake into his mouth as surprise floated down leisurely and looked at him blushing
"Der waft?"
"Cause if we did...You should know...It was amazing...I...I think...I think I love you..."
Six spit out his half eaten pancake out the closed window on the opposite side of the room
"WHAT?!"
Surprise stopped blushing and put her hooves up to her mouth as her eyes rolled in a slow circle and a low giggle flowed from under her breath. Six face hoofed and pointed at the stack with his free hoof.
"There....Pancakes, yummy...Eat..."
"Oh! Don't mind if I do!"
Surprise Opened her jaw and flew down the entire stack vertically, swallowing it all in a single gulp, leaving Six twitching in awe
"T-t-that was...How could you..."
"Pegasus magic."
Six coughed and grabbed his guitar from under the bed, putting on the belt that kept it firmly locked on his side.
"Alright. Erything We need in that bag o' yers?"
Surprise nodded and slid on her saddlebags and looked at Six
"So...Ponyville...What's the plan?"
"Plan? Plan is we leave Filly, hit tha road, git to ponyville as soon as Equinely possible and Ah get a very important question answered...Then...Well...Then we can find out togetha huh?"
"Awesome! I like that plan! But...Says here 'Adventure' Don't you think it should be a little more exiting than there and back again?"
"Ain't nothin wrong with ther and back again."
"I don't know...I mean...It's a little boring...And time consuming. I mean Three hours per movie just to drop a ring down a volcano? C'mon! Has to be a better way!"
"What are ya yammin 'bout now?"
"Ohhhh nothing silly. C'mon! Let's go!"
View Online
You know what time it is? That's Right-ADVENTURE TIME!! ok maybe not.
Six and Surprise had been away from Fillydelphia for at least six hours, the sun was at it's highest and six trotted on at least a yard or so ahead of surprise who was floating just about six inches off the ground. Sweating.
"Siiiiiiiixxxx~! This is soooo boring!!!! And it's so hot!! Can't we just go back and steal a balloon?"
That thought hadn't occured to six, he could have most likely have stolen a balloon and floan it to sweet apple acres...No, no he couldn't have. Apart from The fact stealing was against his moral compass for the most part, he didn't know how to fly one and He was almost sure the fillydelphia employed pegasus guards would have caught up with him and his bubbly companion in no time at all.
"No. We can't. So quit yer whinin'. Least yall don't gotta hoof it."
"But I'm not whiiiining~! I'm a marshmellow~!"
What?<
"Yer a marsmella?"
"Oh! Oh! Is this where I say 'Aeyup'? Ohhh but i do wanna say 'nope' though...Ohhh! I. Am. Just. About. To be brilliant!"
"oh goddess-"
"YOPE~! Ahehehahuhuahohahe!"
"You makin fun at tha way I talk?"
"NUP~! Aahahahahehehuhuhoheheha~!"
"Somepony. Anypony. Shoot meh now."
"Hey siiiiiix?"
"..."
"Can we sing again?"
"Why yall so keen on mah singin?"
"Cause you're so good at it! I mean, if you're good at it why NOT do it? Heeeey~ We could make money off your talent~!"
Six stopped dead and turned on surprise, who was hovering just about a foot off the ground
"No! I don' care if I soun' like' Saphiah Shores! I ain't nevah gonna play fer bits!"
"Well why not?"
"Cause it aint right chargin folk fer somethin I'de give to anothah pony fer free!"
"...I don't get it?"
Six took a deep breath, she didn't know why he had a distaste for his "special" talent, and therefore why he wouldn't charge somepony for a "performance". He tipped his hat back and craned his head to look towards the slowly setting sun.
"It's like...Well...Like A party I s'pose...You wouln't charge a pony fer a party right?"
"Of course not silly! That'd be dumb!"
"Xactly. That's why ya won't see me openin fer the wondah bolts."
"...Sooo...Music is like...A party?"
"Yeeah."
"So...Then...I could be good at music too?"
"Well now I ain't sayin-"
"Maybe even..."
"Don' jump tha barrel here kiddo-"
"THE BEST AT MUSIC EVER!!!"
Six lowered his head and shook it listlessly as his compatriot exploded into confetti and smiles
"I ain't nevah gonna undahstand why yall can do that."
"Who's yall? Only me and Pinkypie can do it. Hehe...Do it..."
"Who in tarnation is pinkypie?"
"Who?"
"Pinkypie."
"Who's that?"
"Pinkypie...The Pony ya jus' mentioned."
"I didn't mention anypony."
"Yes ya did! I jus' heard you!"
"Heard? Where?! Six look out for the heard!"
"There ain't no heard!"
"Now don't lie to me six, there's a heard reading this right now."
"There's a...What?"
"C'mon silly! We need to progress with the story! I'm waiting to see if you and Applejack get together!"
"Wait...What? How d'ya-?"
"Six...Which sounds better? Chimmysherry, or cherrychanga?"
"What kinda questioned is that?!"
Six was leaning on his front whooves, his hat tipped far back on his mane, threatening to fall onto the nape of his neck
"Six...You're really close to me...Do you have the feelings? Should we make ze magiks?"
And then he promptly fell face first into the dirt as the little bundle of plot device wispfully floated over him.
"Cmooooooon~! Don't trail behind! My plot senses are tingling! Oh, not THAT plot sense."
Six pushed himself out of the dirt road and staggered back. Winded, not from the fall, but from the nonsense that he foresaw would be his companion till he made it to ponyville.
"Tha' pony is crazy."
Applejack smiled and looked at the now setting sun, a regular day had gone by without a hitch. And by regular she meant truly regular. No whacky crisis that seemed to test her and her friends, no malevolent being intent of plunging everlasting [insert bad stuff here] on equestria, and far more unbeleviable... No cutie mark crusades. Not a one.
"Damn fine day in mah book."
A loud crash, and shouting came from the barn...Well...What is a day without a crusade anyway?
"Applebloom! Don't be a bitch!"
"Don't chu use that language in mah house!"
"But it isn't your house! It's a barn!"
"Yeah, but it's mah barn!"
"No it isn't! It's your sisters!"
"So? You say its your house when we play at the boutique! And that aint even a house! It's a store!"
"An expensive store!"
"For good reason!"
"She doesn't even get THAT much business?"
"That's not true! She gets business from loads of ponies!"
"More like her business is getting loads from ponies."
"You take that back, chicken!"
"Oh I'm deffinately not taking it back now!"
The crusaders were arguing, in a much more vulgar and adult manner than normal. They were sitting in an odd triangle pointing hooves, or leaning in and sometimes both.
"Now scoots, that aint fair, Rarity would never charge for somethin like that-"
"See!"
"not when she does it fer free."
And with that applebloom took off from an enraged sweetybelle as scootaloo watched and cheered for the one that didn't have a horn, of course, everything was put to a halt when applejack damn well near bucked the doors down. Giving her sister and her friends 'the eye'
"What in tarnation do yall thank yer doin?! Messin up my barn, and cussin like sea ponies?! Applebloom, geet in tha house! Tha rest of ya, get on outta here! And I'm tellin yer sister whatcha said here today too."
"Awwww"
"But I didn't say anything! Nothing like scoots and your-"
"Git!"
With a hard buck to the side of the barn, the two non-earth ponies took flight...well...not really...They just ran quite quickly, leaving an applebloom hanging her head as the elder apple looked down on her with a mix of disappointment and sisterly anger.
"Now, care to tell me why in sam-hell you was cussin?"
"I wasn't cussin! It was scootaloo!"
"Alright, maybe I believe ya. But that don't explain why you were tarnishin my good friend's name?"
"Cause...It. was. funny?"
Applejack looked at her sister sternly, then softened her glare into the apple family "ya learned yer lesson" smile.
"Now Applebloom, ain't nothn funny 'bout Rarity's nymphomania. It's a real problem."
With that the apple sisters got to share a good laugh at the expensense of their dear friend, with applebloom not really learning a lession at all. With a pat on the rump, applejack sent applebloom off to dinner while she stayed to admire the barn. It was a new barn. The old one destroyed by rainbow, on her request and painted by pinkypie. It still had her portrait on the side. It wasn't the same barn. But it was identical.
Six pulled Applejack down and rolled with her, ending up on top, pining her on the soft grass, he nuzzed her mane with his horn and shifted himself to more or less sit on her
"Six! Ya goof! Whataya doin!"
"Ravishin ya~ Haha~"
"Goddess- Where could we do it? House is off limits aint doinin it unda tha tree, not riskin bigmac catchin us again and them woods are right dang'rous. Rather be caught by timbers than bigmac though..."
Six turned towards the large red structure about five yards away
"Hmmm...How 'bout the barn?"
"No.Way.'
"Awww c'mon apple-snack~"
"I told yall not to call me that~ Ya damn theif!"
"Ain't stealin ifin it's givin~"
"Uh hun, riiiight~"
"C'mon! With yer little sis around we aint neva got time fer fun around here. Barns teh only place she aint 'loud to go into...An tha forrest..."
"Yeah but-"
Six Gave his rougish smirk and kissed her
"C'mon...It'll be fun."
Applejack, frowned,looked at the barn, then to six, then sighed and smiled and kissed his cheek
"All righ... Just this once!"
"Awww c'mon now...Don't lie to me~"
She smacked him playfully as he rolled off her and galloped toward the barn, applejack close on his hooves mocking lovingly about his storied past.
Apple jack looked around the barn. Paying close attention to the pile of hay.
"Heh...Wonder ifin that counts as that 'food play' pinky was tellin me about..."
Ok, NOWWWW It's adventure time!
Six was at a brisk trot, Surprise trailing behind him, hovering just about a foot off the ground. He suspected the pegasus enjoyed just hovering, it's what she did more often than not.
"So. Ya always hovah? Ah seen ya fly."
"Hehe, course you did silly. I flew into you!"
"Well... Naw, naw ya realeh din't. Ya was hoverin then too."
"Was I? Huh. I don't recall."
"I migh' be wrong here, just... Be tough to fly inta me ifin you were... Well, flyin."
"No no, I see your point... I knew I was giggling..."
"Giglin? Ya call that giglin? Ya was flat out barkin mad!"
"But... But laughter is nothing more than a momentary loss of sanity. So... I was mad, well not MAD Mad, just like... Crazy mad... Not Like being crazed and therefore mad, more like... Mad crazy..."
"Wha?"
"For reals dog. It's how I roll! Hehehahahuhohohehe!"
"An you ain't carrying tha element o' laughter cuz?"
"Ohhhh some wishy-wash about rights... Doesn't matter! My successor does a great job! Hehe, giggle at the ghosties!"
"Don' believe in ghosts."
"That's the point."
Six shook his head, he was done trying to figure out his surely insane companion. She was too... Well... He was done. Period. Instead he looked to the plains ahead of him, if they kept this pace they'de reach apploosa in maybe a few days, from there he figured he could borrow some money from Braeburn, hop the Friendship Express and be in ponyville in just over a day. That meant... Five days tops before he'd see applejack again.
"Brill'ant"
"What's brilliant?"
"We're makin' good time. 'Sumin shit don't hit the fan, we'll be in ponyville in jus' unduh a week."
"Oh that's great! I'll go pack my bags... Wait... Ponyville? This is the way to Appleoosa, not Ponyville."
"We're gonna hop a train."
"Oh... Wait... Why didn't we hop a train back in philly?"
"Cuz they can't get ther manes out ther flanks."
"And? Bits are bits."
"Ah was gonna borrow some bits from a pal."
"Why didn't we just do that in philly?"
" 'Cause... Well... I ain't got friends in philleh."
"Noooo~ You have a friend in philly! Me!"
"Stric'ly speakin. We aint in philleh no more."
The duo found themselves staring at the ground, for whatever reason things had reached that point in a trip where you have a disgusting awkward silence. The kind of which you really wish wouldn't come, but you know inevitably must. Then... Rumbling.
"Suhprise."
"Yes?"
"Ya hear tha? Or... is it jus me?"
"Yeah, no it's ok though, that's just my stomach."
"Rerly? Cause thas a mighty sound commin' from yer tummy."
Six looked around, indeed surprises' stomach was rumbling but that wasn't what he was hearing. It sounded much more like-
"Uhhmm... Six? Do you maybe think you were hearing buffaloos?"
"What's a buffaloo?"
"The plural for buffalo."
Sixs' head turned to a ridge where a healthy sized pack of buffalo stood.
Thas what it sound like-a heard o' buffalo. A heard o' angry looking buffalo.<
"Suhprise... Reckon they've-"
"Hey!! Buffaloos! Hi! I'm Surprise, and this is my friend Six-String! We're traveling to Ponyville! Whoops, I mean Appleoosa! Anyway, do you think you could help us get there!"
A heard of angry buffalo that now had a keen knoledge of where he was. A vaguely familiar heard of angry buffalo.
"Suhprise! Now I ain't nevah told nopony this buhfor but uhhh... When Ah was a foal, I pissed in a buffalo tribes waterin hole..."
"So?"
Six facehoofed as the heard stomped their hooves on the ground, whooping in anger.
"THIS IS THA' HEARD!"
"Oh... What do we do?"
"We run!"
As the words escaped Sixs' lips the heard charged down the red rocks of the ridge, barreling down after the defiler of the sacred watering hole and his profligate compatriot. Six didn't start at a trot, he was on full gallop. The heard, he knew, was likely to impale him on thier horns... Or at least that's what he figured they'de do. They could easily just trample him, or go the 'eye for an eye' route and piss on him... The more he thought about it, the more he'd rather be impaled. Surprise just seemed to disappear, a vaguely pony shaped dust cloud in her place. Six looked back only once in his mad dash to try and escape a heard that could out run a train. Surprise was sitting, as if in a chair, atop the chiefs head-dress.
"Hey Six! Look what I can do! I learned it from my friend lyra! Isn't it neat?!"
Six probably would have face hoofed, or sighed, or told her what a terrible idea that was, or, quietly contemplate Surprises' desire to remain alive. But instead he just kept galloping, his foalhood life of crime flashing through his head, side-by-side with memories of running through the fields of sweet apple acres. And then. A memory. A memory of running. A memory of running, even faster than he was now.
Dodge Junction-
Six looked about the dusty little town, the Cheddar Farms wagon sitting at the end of the long street. He was there to trade for some berries from Miss Swiss' old friend Cherry Jubilee.
"Welly well well! Look at chu! You got all them cherries up on that all by yourself? My, my! Aren't you talented!"
Six tipped his hat, trying his best to hide the blush that had slowly crept across his cheeks.
"Tain't nothin... Will ya be needin an mo' help? Or can I ge' goin?"
Cherry smiled lusciously and nodded, having seen the colt try and cover up his blush.
"I can always use help round here handsome~ You don't mind workin with others dooo you?"
"I uhhh, well not 'xactly errr..."
"Oh pleeease? She's really a good worker, wouldn't slow you down a bit! Got second in every event at this years rodeo, ohhh an' she's a cutie! I'll bet you two'll hit it right off!"
Cherry had begun dragging Six by his hat, he wasn't actively resisting, but he certainly didn't want to have to work with some mare he didn't know, working with mares led to sweating ponies, and sweat on ponies trails down to places that weren't very polite to just stare at. And the biggest problem was, was that Six wasn't exactly to opposed to not being very polite. Then, as he blushed and murmured his less than firm refusal he felt a chill up his spine and his blush faded. It faded until he was about as white as a marshmellow.
"Hey Ms.Jubilee, I gotta use the lil' mares room. I'll jus' be a minit."
Oh goddess no...can not be here!here ! Not now!<
Six tipped his hat low and went silent, he wasn;t sure whether his heart had stopped beating or if it was beating faster as she pasted but it was doing something it wasn't supposed to. He prayed to Celestia it wasn't her. He prayed and prayed. As she pasted he hazarded a look at her flank.
Apple
Six fell unconscious. Waking up from the sound of a train entering the station.
"Oh dear! Are you ok?!"
"YeaI'mfinegottagonowbye! And thanks fer tha cherrehs!"
And he pulled that wagon like hot lightning outta dodge. He ran like he was out running devil, hell, and death itself. Tears almost blinding him to the rabbit on the road, almost.
Instead he jackknifed left and the wagon spilled over, sending crates of cherries toppling out of the wagon, exploding into wood chips on the ground and spilling their delicious contents across the desert. Six just sat in his own fear and sadness, his hat brim becoming soaked from his tears.
"Gad-Dang it! Gad-Fucking-Dang it! Fuck these cherries!"
With a burst of magic several cherries flew off into the distance, one rolling to a shrub... With a bunny hiding within.
Six had begun pounding his hooves in the ground, doubled over in a heap.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Jus' go back! Jus' fuckin' go ba-hack!"
He kept telling himself this until he couldn't speak. He was breathing deeply and exhaling loudly. The years of holding back what he had felt spilling over... Then a tap on his side. Six looked under the shade his hat had made. The rabbit that had been in the bushes had come to his side... Offering him the cherry.
Six stared for what felt like eons before he began laughing.
Somewhere in the desert-
"Fuck this!"
Six yelled to nopony in particular, stretching his hooves out to make an emergency stop, then springing off his back hooves into a turn, only losing his footing(hoofing?) once in his new head long trajectory toward the raging buffalo.
"Come ge' some!"
View Online
Take a few steps back, take a deep breath, and have a laugh.
Now, I ain't gonna lie. When I think back on tha' moment... Not mah smartest move. But, it ain't like I had much choice. Now, I'm betting ya'll are thinkin pretty hard how my little charge went; I'lll spoil it for ya, I did end up livin. True shame huh? Turns out, them buffalo was just stampedin. They didn't even give a damn 'bout my pissin in their water... Heh... They uhhh, kinda had fergot bout it till I brought it up... Life got a funny way of makin ya laugh, don' it?
-Ponyville, sweet apple acres, approximately the same time Six tried to out bulrush a bull-
"Hey A.J! I bet you can't eat all those apples!"
"Buck you Dash! I bet chu I can eat all these apple faster than ya'll can get off mah farm! I'm workin!"
"Awwww c'mon jacks! Gimme a break here! I just spent the whole night filling in for some mail mare!"
"Fer a pony who can clear tha sky in ten seconds, ya sure seem ta be slow when ya aint doin yer real job."
"Hey! I could have delivered those papers in a dash! I just needed to find a translator for the head of E.Q.D! I can't understand him."
"Listen, seth is the nicest pony I evah-"
"Noooo not THAT one! The one in Filly! He needs a SERIOUS helping hoof in the voice category."
"So what yer saying is... He needs propah trainin the the way of tha voice?"
"Pretty much..."
"Rainbow... Have I evah told ya tha story of how I used to be a pegusus like you-"
"What?! Noooooo way! You were never a-"
"Then I took an arrow in the wing."
Rainbow dash dead-panned as apple jack went on bucking trees, rainbow, not being an avid user of equestrian internet was not familiar with where this phrase kept coming from, but everypony knew it, and they would often say it to her... Tooo often in fact, so often in fact, it made her rage bubble like an otherwise dormant volcano, erupting suddenly after a hundred years. Apple jack was her friend, she couldn't tear off her mane and put it down her throat.... But she could cover her friend in apples. And with a swift buck to the tree applejack was standing under, that is exactly what she did. Applejack was covered in a pile of apples
The pile gurgled something akin to "I'll kill you dash" but rainbow was far too busy laughing hysterically on her back, suspended in mid air, holding her sides. When AJ's head finally did surface, she was giving Dash the eye, then smiled and tossed an apple at her feathered friend which ended in a satisfying -SQUAPLISH- against rainbow's flank, hiding her cutie mark in crushed apple.
It was AJ's turn to laugh.
Six was doing something very similar...
"Ahehehehe! Braeburn! You son-ova-skag! What cha doin out this far from apploosa?!"
"Six? Boy, that you?! Hell! I heard chu wasn't workin' for AJ no more, didn't 'spect to find you out here in thase parts!"
The two ponies shared a brotherly embrace, braeburn's dusty duster sweeping the ground of the buffalo camp. Surprise looked between the two ponies and giggled.
"Awwwww yeah! Reunion party time!"
"Six. Who's the pegasus?"
"Surprise, this is Braeburn. Braeburn, Surprise."
Braeburn almost assaulted the off grey/white pegasus with a powerful, over enthusiastic hoof shake
"Pleasure to meet cha miss! Name's Braeburn!
"Hehe ohhhhhh I know! I love western fics!"
'Haha!"
Braeburn leaned in close towards Six, hushing his voice to a gruph whisper
"What's she talkin' 'bout?"
"Not a damn clue, just ignore it. That's what I do."
Surprise looked at her hoof, still being vigorously shaken by Braeburn, who was talking to Six, private time, buck stuff, like hoof-ball and guns and plots and wet manes... Probably stuff like that. She began humming a tune in her head.
As in the tune she was humming was being played in her head.
She was the only pony who could hear it.
Because it was in her head.
Her eyes derped out, and the two stallions, and a couple of buffalo even ,had gathered to watch her eyes drift apart as if she had some kind of mental illness
The duo decided it was best to leave her alone, and catch up.
"So, Brae, ya din't answer me b'fore. Whatcha doin out here?"
"Well, see, it's a long story..."
"And that's what happened."
"Luna's moon heat... Wish Ah'd been there."
"Me too. So, how have you been these past few years?"
"An now Ah'm here."
"Well ain't that dandy?"
They had talked well into the night, Surprise hadn't moved, the Buffalo had prepared a meal. Apple pies and a secret buffalo soup. Six lipped his lips as he approached the large pot on the fire, his magic reaching out to pop off the lid.
"What're we waitin for? Time to chow down!"
As six lifted the lid-
Unicorns can be cowponys too!
Howdy, the name's Six-String. Ima Hauler out on Cheddah ranch, a lil hamlet far outside Phillydelphia. An this is mah story. Tits bout a lil mo than Lust an a lil less than love. For yah tuh undahstand where I'm goin, yah gotta know where Im comim from. Yah see Cheddah ranch is literaly a town layin outside philly, an back in tha day it was a pretty bustlin place. Filled Fittin tah burst with custuhmahs From erry part of ahquestria all looking for anythin from cheese tah peaches tah magic powdahs. If you were lookin fo it, typically yah could find it in cheesy acres. I guess that's outta where I could begin.
Phillydelphia~One year after Applejack got her cutie-mark
Six-string peeled through the tight streets of the bazaar, a hot sweat running across his brow and a sack of apples tightly gripped in his mouth and a few more floating magically just barely behind him. And just barely behind them was A Big red stallion with a long flowing blonde mane.
"Give 'em back Thief!"
"Neva!"
He twisted around a corner that was to tight for Big Mac to get through with all the ponies moving through. The Little grey unicorn made it through pretty easily given this was a town he knew well and knew how to move around it with relative ease. He was sure he had lost the Stallion and gotten away, as he traveled down the road he managed to reach a truly colonial part of the town, it was called the Cow district simply because the only thing of note was a small cattle farm located behind the tavern. In the middle of the virtually deserted Road stood a determined young Filly,the wind blowing her golden mane about as the tumbleweed pushed themselves across the ground.She wasnt much younger than Six-string by the looks of her.
"Ima give yah one last chance to drop them apples pony. If yah do I promise I wont hurt yah too bad."
She had a determined look in her eyes, the same look that the stallion had had when he chased Six down the crowded roads and the same look six got from most farm pony familys He encountered.
"Well lookee here. Aint you brave. Muh name's Six-String an I think I jus outran yer brother. He's bout twice the pony you are. What makes yah think you can do bettah?"
"Fact that I aint bout to loose you in all tha pony traffic."
She made a good point, six knew he had only lost big mac Do to the Usual Cheesy acres pony traffic, and in the cow district there was none of that. Six knew if he doubled back he'd run right into big mac and that would probably be worse than this situation. It was then The young mare Smiled and crossed a hoof over her leg and looked him down.
"Yah know what? How bout a deal? If yah make it past me yer free to go... Ifin I buck you in yer thievin teeth, you come work mah farm till yah pay us back fer them apples."
Six nickered and spat at the ground in acceptance. He may have earth pony smarts but he was a unicorn after all, he had magic, a powerful handicap in his favor.
"Alrigh. Sounds Fair. Good Luck miss, you'll need it."
Six String backed up a few few feet, he was always sure he could slip out of any jam but the look in the young mares eyes made his teeth twitch, he had come to trust his teeth twitching as a sign he had better take a little extra precaution. He counted to three then charged, galloping as fast as he could. The little mare took a deep breath, lowered herself,pivoted on her hooves and then bucked. Six couldnt quite feel much other than the pain shooting through his twitchy teeth,then down his neck,through his spine and into his hooves. the Buck sent his flying a good three feet back from the place of the impact and he was bleeding from the nose and mouth.
"Ahhhhoooooowww~! y-yah rusted meh jraw~!"
"Well now I told yah! Shoulda just handed ovah them apples!"
She troted over to him and looked him over
"Now c'mere yah big baby. It aint to bad. Granny Smith'll Wrap it up and I bet Big mac'll let cha use his bed till it gets fixed. Then yah start workin thief. Allright?"
"nerf"
"Mah names Apple Jack by the way."
"Prezure ma'am."
"C'mon. Let's get yah up an walkin."
~~~~~~~
So ther it is. A lil piece of mah story. Imah Take a nap now. Catch some Sheep befo I go intah sweet apple acres. I don even know who I'm talkin to anymore...I just hope somepony's listenin... Im out here tryin to fix the biggest mistake I evah made, an as celestia as mah witness I aint stoppin till I gettah answer.
