Eat My Shorts!

by Syeekoh

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy
Length: 744

A succubus raids Carousel Boutique.

Escaped from Tartarus, Braca the Succubus breaks into Carousel Boutique looking for a commodity lost to her home — SHORTS!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-26 01:23:11 UTC

aerthq

Queen Chrysalis carefully powdered Tirek’s cheeks with blush, then smiled at Nightmare Moon. “This was so worth summoning you from the depths of Tartarus.”

“Oh, yes.” Nightmare Moon delicately threaded Tirek’s mane through several curlers. “The makeover will last...”

“Excuse me,” Tirek interjected, “but I didn’t agree to this.”

Nightmare Moon smacked Tirek across the face, whereupon he yelped and rubbed his cheek. . ”Silence, whelp!” She went back to her mane-threading. “If I wanted the opinion of a weakling—”

“Who wants the opinion of a weakling?” Chrysalis asked as she resumed the cheek-powdering, at which they both cackled. “Alright. Blush is done. Now pout your lips, Ms. Tirek.”

Tirek crossed his arms and turned his head away, throwing off Nightmare Moon who growled and  put Tirek’s head back in place. “Stay still!”.

Chrysalis grunted, then grasped a rather pointy rock in her magic and held it to Tirek’s throat. “Listen here, you little ingrate, either pout out your lips so I can apply gloss or—” she poked the rock at Tirek’s guts ”—or I’ll rip out your entrails and feed them to Cerberus. Are we clear?”

Tirek groaned. “I don’t approve of this at all.”

Chrysalis made a sharp incision at Tirek’s midsection and blood dripped onto the ground. “Are we clear?”

Tirek touched his wound and stared at the slick fluid on his fingers, then looked at Chrysalis. “Whatever you wish, my Queen.” He pouted his lips out.

“That’s a good boy.” Chrysalis patted him on the cheek, pulled out the tube, and proceeded to apply the gloss to Tirek’s lips. “Alright, Moony, now you apply the eyeliner.”

Nightmare moved into position and pulled out the eyeliner brush. “It would be my pleasure. The application. Shall Last. FOR—”

Chrysalis gnarred. “Will you quit saying that? Not everything has to last FOREVER!”

“But it’s my thing—hold still, Tirek—it’s my thing, that’s what I do. Say things last forever and seek immeasurable power.”

“Well, Moony, we all seek untold power,” she said as she applied the finishing touches of gloss to Tirek’s mouth, “we just don’t go yammering about our plans at the top of our lungs until we’re pretty sure we’ve won.”

Nightmare Moon continued drawing the eyeliner onto Tirek. “Hmm. I might have to try this, ‘not announcing things until after you’ve won’ thing one of these days.”

“Yes, it really lets you get far closer to victory than you normally would.” Chrysalis wiped her brow. “By the way, is it getting a bit muggy in here?”

“No, I’m too busy applying makeup to worry about mortal concerns like humidity.”

“No, I swear it’s getting a bit stuffy in here and I haven’t the—” Chrysalis started before turning around and coming face-to-face with Cerberus, his warm breath and slavering tongue punctuating his narrowed eyes. “Aheheheh, Moony, we have a problem here…”

“Not yet I’m not quite done—”

“I said we have a problem!”

“What could have gone so awry as to—” Nightmare started before turning around herself and facing the guardian of the underworld. “Oh.” She looked at Chrysalis. “Why don’t we just kill him?”

Chrysalis shot a glare at Nightmare. “You can’t just kill Cerberus! He’s like, part of Tartarus! Anyone with enough power to kill Cerberus could destroy the universe!”

Nightmare Moon hummed. “Well, that is an issue.”

Tirek ripped out one of the hair curlers, winced, rubbed it on his wound, then ran in front of Cerberus. “Here, boy!”

Cerberus snapped to attention and wagged his tail, smiling at the new game. Tirek then shook the curler and ran out of Tartarus, Cerberus hot on his heels.

Chrysalis blinked. “... What just happened?”

Nightmare chuckled. “The whelp saved us. How subservient of him.”

“No.” Chrysalis took a sharp breath. “Tirek just escaped Tartarus.”

“What’s the worst that could happen? He’s so weak and powerless.”

Chrysalis grabbed Nightmare. “He was in here for a reason!” Chrysalis paced around. “Ponyfeathers, how do I keep the Princesses from finding out? I suppose I could invade Canterlot to distract them.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Nightmare said before she sat down. “I mean, what’s he going to do? Drain all of the ponies of their magic?”

“That’s the thing! We don’t know what he’s capable of! You stay here while I set up an invasion.” With that, Chrysalis left Tartarus, leaving Nightmare Moon alone.

“Okay. I’ll stay here, I guess.”

The corners of Nightmare Moon’s mouth turned up.

“Forever.”