T.I., Lil Jon, and Eminem Go To Equestria
Lil Jon
T.I.
Eminem
Legends Recording Studios:New York City USA 2010
"Yo! What up my nigga?" T.I. called to Lil Jon.
"What up to you man! How you been and what you been doin?" Lil Jon called back.
"I been finishing up on my new album "King". I think this is gonna have some number one hits fo sure!" Before Lil Jon could reply a voice called out from the main entrance to the studio "Where da fuck is T.I.P.?!' The voice came from Eminem(the only good white rapper to ever become famous).
"T.I.P. ain't around no more, now I'm just T.I.! And what da fuck you want Eminem?" T.I. called back. As Eminem walked over to Lil Jon and T.I. he tripped over a drum set. "Smooth move dumbfuck!"
"Alright i'm sorry about that, but I just came over to show you my new album Recovery, before it came out."
"Well isn't that ironic, 'cause I was about to show Lil Jon here my new album King before it comes out."
"Well why don't you go first T.I. since you were here first." Lil Jon said.
***
Little did the rappers know on a planet just like earth 3 billion light years away, everyone's least favorite unicorn Twilight Sparkle was conjuring up a teleportation spell that will allow her to transport things from very long distances away. Of course as always she messes up.
***
T.I. had just finished showin his song What You Know
to Eminem and Lil Jon, when Eminem was about to show his song Not Afraid
, when a portal opened up and began to suck the two rappers and one King of Crunk into it. "What the hell is going on? And is that a portal?" Lil Jon asked. Eminem was screaming like a little girl, Lil Jon was flailing his arms, and T.I. was trying to grab three Glock 18's he kept in a cabinet for instances where some mothafucka tried to rob the studio. As soon as he had a tight grip on the guns he grabbed five extended mags for each gun. Then he was sucked in along with the others!
***
Twilight had just finished preparing the spell, and was in the process of activating it and explaining it to the rest of the girls and Spike what the spell would do. "This spell will allow me to teleport objects from long distances." She explained.
"So if I wanted you to teleport something from my shop you could do it?" Rarity asked. She was very happy with the fact that if Twilight performed the spell correctly, then maybe she could use it if she ever left something behind.
"Yes, Rarity it will."After she said that her horn lit up and a portal opened, and out came three hip hop/rap artists. The Mane Six and Spike stared at the three biped creatures in awe. Surprisingly the first one to move was Fluttershy.
"They're so cute!" she said. None of them expected one of the bipeds to reply.
"Who the fuck are you calling cute?! I'm straight up Gangsta! I should kill you, you bicolored horse bitch!" Rarity fainted, Fluttershy screamed and flew out an open window faster than Rainbow Dash, and Twilight put up a shield around herself and everyone who was still in her tree. Then Eminem woke up, and looked around, and saw all the colored horses. He also saw that Lil Jon was still out. He shook him up and when he couldn't get him to wake up he grabbed a G18 shot a few rounds into the ceiling, which woke him up.
"I'm up, i'm up!" He too looked around. One question was in all three rappers minds. "Where da fuq are we?"
Author's Note
I think in the next chapters i'm gonna do it from different points of view.
T.I., Lil Jon, and Eminem Go To Equestria
Golden Oaks Library, Ponyville Equestria
Twilight POV
I sat there and looked at these biped creatures. I didn't think they were real. I had only seen them in legends, and books. The one who had called us horses had black aviator sunglasses, a black jacket with a plain white T-shirt, jeans, and a silver cross. The one who asked where they were had braided hair, a red hat with an S crossing with an L, a white t-shirt, and a gold chain that read "Crunk ain't dead", big white sunglasses, and jeans, the last had lighter skin than the others. He wore a grey hoodie with a white t-shirt(what is with these guys with their white shirts) a silver cross, and a hat with another biped stretching out. All three had these weird objects like the one with one with the blonde hair shot into the ceiling. I finally built up enough courage to talk."Who are you?" was all I could say. The one with braids answered.
"I'm Lil Jon, the blondie here is Eminem, and the guy who yelled at that yellow horse is T.I.. Now i will ask a few questions. Where are we, who are you, and how did we get here?" He spoke so fast I had to take a few seconds to think about what he had said.
"In order, you are in Equestria, I am Twilight Sparkle and these "horses" you speak of are ponies and they are my friends. The orange one is Applejack or AJ, the rainbow one is Rainbow Dash, the pink one is Pinkie-" I was interrupted so rudely by "T.I." as he was called.
"Those names are sooo original!" He said sarcastically.
"Like your name is!" I retaliated back. I already knew that these three would be very annoying. "Anyways like I was saying, this is Pinkie Pie, and the white one who fainted is Rarity. I somehow brought you here with my long distance teleportation spell." Not one of the three dared to speak, in fact Eminem fainted. "So anymore questions?"
"Yea! I got two. What did you say you were again?' T.I. asked.
"I am a unicorn pony."At this he starts laughing. I was generally confused by this. Didn't they have unicorns and ponies in their homeland?
"Can you do magic?" he asked sarcastically, which at that I levitated the book next to him and put it back on the shelf. His face went from a smile to a frown. "Can you do magic on me?"
"I should be able to." When I tried to levitate him nothing happened. "What in Celestia's sun is going on? Why won't my magic work on you?"
"I don't know, and I don't care. Now for another question. Do you have radios? And if you do is there any way the three of us could get a recording/radio station?" is all he said.
"Yes we have radios and radio stations, but I don't know about getting you your own stations, we would have to ask Celestia. Girls you can go home now if you like." The only one to leave was Rarity because of their "foul language" is what she had said.
"Who's this Princess Celestia you keep speaking of?" Lil Jon asked. Me and the rest of the girls all gasped. They didn't know who Celestia was? That was horrible!
"What country are you from?" Rainbow asked.
"Uh U.S.A.. Why?" Eminem who just woke up replied. What was U.S.A.?
"What's U.S.A.? We are in Equestria, on Equis, silly. Are you from another planet?" Pinkie questioned. If they were indeed aliens that would mean I had brought them here, and could cause an invasion of humans.
"I knew we weren't on Earth anymore. It was really obvious." So yep time to send a letter to the Princess.
***
T.I. POV
So while Twilight went and sent a letter to their princess the others started to ask questions. Rainbow Dash went first "Do you like to race?"
"Depends on what kind of racing you're talking about little gay looking pony." This bitch has such an ego I just wanted to shoot her with a full mag.
"Who are you calling "gay" mr?!" She was all up in my face with her wings since she only reached my knees on her hooves. I grabbed my Glock and put it in her face.
"You want to meet my friend here? He likes to cause a lot of pain for people." Is all I said. At this she backed up and said shyly "Flying or foot racing?" Lil Jon beat me to the punch.
"We don't fly, most humans race in cars which are motorized vehicles of transportation." Nigga must sound like a scientist to deese stupid things. I didn't like any of them, with their stupid colored coats and the fact that we weren't in New York.
"What are them there black thingies?" AJ asked. Eminem answered before I could and I was glad. I hated talking to these ponies. They were so far behind technologically speaking.
"These are guns. They are weapons that our world has invented, and they shoot projectiles. I think T.I. would like to test it on your flamboyant friend right there." He had no idea how much I liked that idea, and for a second I thought they would except but of course...
"After the size of the hole in the ceiling, I think we'll have to decline, 'sugarcube." Of course that's a reference they would use.
Now the pink one speaks, "Whatkindoffoooddoyoulikedoyoulikecupcakesandsaladsand-" I had to interrupt her nobody could understand her like that.
"What the flying fuck did you just say. I'm going to need you to repeat that much slower." That was just insane, how was speaking that fast even possible. Of course then Twilight comes in.
"Pinkie said 'What kind of food do you like, and do you like cupcakes'." How- must be the fact that they are friends.
"Well you are ponies which means your herbivores, but most humans are omnivores which means we eat meat and plants. If we don't get enough plants or meat we die." I'm surprised that none of them fainted, but they were taking it well. Only one jaw fell. "Why so shocked AJ? Doesn't the dragon eat meat?" Shocking answers this place has.
"Na he eats gems, like emeralds and fire rubies." What the fuck? A dragon that eats jewelry, this place will give me nightmares. Things only got worse from there once the door opened...
"Princess! Welcome." said the librarian. Herself and her friends bowed and the three of us just stood there. "Don't you guys bow to your ruler?" She asked us. Ha! Bowing to Obama! Classic. All he's done is make America worse.
"No we don't we just- what do we do when the president shows up?" Lil Jon replied/asked.
"We take pictures to raise our publicity." Eminem answered. So true.
"Welcome to Equestria young humans. I've heard you have threatened and scared my ponies. I will ask that you apologize." No fuck that they brought us here, and the whole world is probably like 'What happened to Eminem, Lil Jon, and T.I.?' god that's just set in too.
"On behalf of me and my friends we would like to say we are sorry." Eminem said.
"Now then I would like to ask a few questions, if that is alright." The princess said.
"Lay um down." I told her. This would be fun.
45 Minutes later
So she asked things like what was earth like, and what our favorite this and that was. Stuff like that. Now we got to the important thing.
"So I understand that you three want a recording studio that doubles as a radio station, correct?" Celestia asked.
"Yes ma'am. I would like Equestria to be introduced to rap, and hip-hop if they don't already have it." Eminem answered.
"And why do you want it T.I.?"
I find my music as a stress reliever so if I have that I will shoot less peop- I mean "ponies","
"I understand and I will arrange for one to be made here in Ponyville, and it will have separate living spaces for each of you. The construction will begin ASAP."
"One last question. What kind of music do you have here Twilight?" Lil Jon asked. I couldn't say he was the only one who was curious.
"Well we have jazz which is the most common, pop, rock, metal, alternative, and techno." Well we would just have to create a new one or two. "What kind of music do you guys have on earth?"
"We have all those plus dubstep which is like techno but with more bass drops. We also have rap and hip-hop which is the kind of music we make."
"Well I can't wait to hear your guy's songs." said Rainbow.
"Oh you will once we get our station. I promise." Eminem said.
Author's Note
Criticism would be appreciated.
T.I., Lil Jon, and Eminem Go To Equestria
Life in Equestria as a famous Rapper
Three months passed with the three rappers staying at the library. During those three months they wrote new songs for when the station opens, listen to previous songs they made, and other things of the such on their phones. They also had to be kept under constant watch by the guards. They couldn't even go outside to smoke some weed or cigs. To add onto that there was always someone(pony) who had a question for the trio. “What kind of music do you make?”, “What is your world like?” etc. Gets really annoying doesn't it? But after those three months they finally got their music station. After a couple hours of arguing they decided to call it 104.8 R&B Hits. They waited a few days to get settled into their new home, before starting to record their songs that they were showing each other before the whole portal to Equestria thing. Since Lil Jon didn’t have an album to show, he made a new one. He called it Crunk Rock®. T.I. produced King®, and Em went with Recovery®.
A few weeks went by with the Mane Six advertising the station and they started to get some listeners. It worked with Lil Jon playing songs off his phone from various artists from Earth via Vevo. Soon enough as 104.8 became more and more popular, there were some ponies who became hip hop artists themselves. Since they didn’t have Equestrian currency Lil Jon would ask for donation between every few songs or right before a commercial break. Princess Celestia happened to be listening in on one of these times, and thought ‘Well I don’t think anyone else is so why don’t I donate some? Plus it will help my image too!’ So after that she donated 10,000 bits to 104.8 R&B Hits. With the money the three rappers bought albums from up and coming hip hop/rap/crunk artists and played it. They also started a record label with the remaining money. When the public found out it became one of the most famous openings of a business in Equestrian history. They called it “Equestrian Hustle”. As they began to sign good artists they made tons of money from them. Since T.I. was the only one with label owning experience, they left him in charge with the label. They also hired homeless ponies to work the station so they could have days off and not work everyday. The three began to give out money to orphanages, and charities, and homeless ponies. They became as famous if not more famous than the wonderbolts. All their concerts sold out, and they had the female “I want to fuck you!” fans too. Celestia “looked” for a way to get them home but couldn’t find one. So they figured they should continue to make friends, and music. About two months after they opened Equestrian Hustle, T.I. released T.I vs T.I.P.®. It became an instant hit and by the end of the month was in the top ten albums in the country. A year later Eminem released The Marshall Mathers LP 2. It won 5 number 1 songs in 2 months. Two weeks after the release of Eminem's album, Lil Jon released his hit single with DJ Pon3, Turn Down For What®. It earned a number one in two days, and stayed there another year. They continued their careers for many more years with Lil Jon retiring at 70, T.I. at 63, and Eminem at 68. None of the three ever found love in that world. And lived with each other until their last days, sharing jokes discussing the label, and other things. They were inducted into the Equestrian Hip Hop Hall of Fame in 2035(years are the same as earth, even if they don’t have the same tech). In 2062 they were voted into the Equestrian Hall of Fame for introducing Hip Hop, and for being some of the best characters that world had ever known. Eminem died on March 8th in 2071 at the age of 100. Lil Jon died on June 12th 2067 at age 96. T.I. was killed by a rival three days after he went out with some friends to watch a rap battle. He was challenged by an earth pony. He accepted and won so bad that the challenger had to be dragged off stage as he was so in shock that he lost that bad. The same pony saw worked with T.I. at the studio. He stole T.I.’s gun one night and shot him in the head the next day. T.I. was only 69. He died April 19 2049. Everyone in the world mourned him for months. In memory of him Eminem, Lil Jon and a few famous pony rap artists collaborated a song in honor of him. It never came off of Equestria’s top 200, always in the top ten.
When all three died they found themselves back in T.I.'s studio in New York. They looked at each other. Eminem asked "Do you guys remember Equestria?" The other two shook their heads. After that they continued on with their lives as famous rappers in America.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading, and I know this chapter was different but I kind of lost inspiration for this... sorry if this chapter sucks guys/gals.
