Cover art by Iron Hooves. Availible for takedown upon request.

Blessed with a RAGE REVIEW by Pen Brush! Thank you!
(Link to review)

If you're reading this, send help.

I don't know what vile force decided to dump me on this planet without the courtesy of letting me change out of my PJs, but he/she/it had less than benevolent intentions. I came to that conclusion the moment I woke up next next to an irritable, jumbo-sized bird of prey by the name of Gilda.

The good news is that human doesn't seem to be on the local diet, Gilda's family are far more docile than her, and there may just be a shot at seeing Earth again if this world's magic is to be trusted.

The bad? Said chance at getting home is far too interested in picking my brains apart or otherwise using me up for comfort. Then there’s the small matter of the many crushing, stabbing, and get-blown-to-bits, hazards associated with a world full of mythical creatures. Oh, did I mention that I was allergic to the natives?

Seriously, if this is the cosmos' idea of entertainment, something's gone terribly wrong.