Ain't No Pony in the 'Verseby ThatOneGuy92ChaptersPrologueHappy Unification DayReturning HomePrologueThe ‘verse can drive a pony mad, what with its empty, fathomless expanse. And it has driven many a pony mad. But we don’t know any better, because it’s all we know. Equestria. That is what it was called. The original home of ponies- and of zebras and griffons, I suppose. But, it ain’t our home any more. Hasn’t been for centuries. Now it is just known as the Equestria-That-Once-Was. They taught us all in school that we all had used up the resources on Equestria-That-Once-Was. And that, when all was bleak, chaos erupted. To ensure everypony’s survival, the Princesses Celestia and Luna ordered that we take to the skies; that all were to leave the Equestria-That-Once-Was, because there was nothing but chaos remaining. And not just the pegasi, but earth ponies and unicorns also. With the aerial knowledge of the pegasi, the magic of the unicorns, and the technology of the earth ponies, ships were forged. Ships that not merely could soar the skies, but could go where nopony had ever been before- space. And so, everypony piled on up into the spacecraft, and we took off, leaving behind the desolate world that we had ravaged. Traveling the stars, we discovered planets and moons that could be lived upon, provided the right circumstances. But, of course, ponies had the technology for that as well. And, besides, they had the Princesses Celestia and Luna to back them. No pony in the ‘verse could stop’em. So, ponies went about terra-forming planets and moons to be suitable for livin’, and folk settled on down. And life started again. Taking the center-most planet as the new base of operations, Princesses Celestia and Luna gave it the name of New Canterlot. From there, they sought to bring harmony to a tough way o’ living. Most of the planets everypony settled, while remaining on good enough terms with each other, were functionally independent. Course, there was the symbolic leadership of the Princesses, but it was just that: symbolic. They were a connection to the Equestria-That-Once-Was, and a unifying emblem amongst ponyfolk across the stars, but not much more. The center-most planets surrounding New Canterlot, on the other hoof, formed an inter-planetary organizational structure called the Alliance. Placing themselves under the direct rule of the Princesses, they sought to help usher in an age of stability. Sought to help everypony adjust to life out in the wide ‘verse. Which was all fine and dandy. Ain’t nopony had any problem with’em. Until the talks began. Some ponies began talking about bringing all the settlements under the rule of the Princesses. Said that the time of independent self-rule had come to an end. Said that we ponies needed to return to our way of living under the benevolent rule of our Princesses. They said a lot of things. It didn’t rub the right way with any pony outside the Alliance. Princess Luna was the one who spoke against it, ironically enough, her being royalty and all. She said that there was nothing wrong with holding alliances and good-will amongst ponies, and that to a certain extent that was necessary for order. However, she argued that each settlement should be entitled to autonomous self-rule, and that the age of monarchy had come to an end. Princess Celestia didn’t agree. At first the fightin’ was all words and ideology. Those who were on Celestia’s side became known as Imperialists, while those who lauded Luna’s model were dubbed the Republicans. If this division in politics separated even the sister Princesses, you can bet every star you can see it divided society as well. It weren’t no straight down the middle division either; you found ponies on every settled planet and moon voicing their opinion. If only it had stayed all strong words and thrown curses. Suppose that’d be too easy, and life ain’t meant to be easy. Under orders from Princess Celestia, armed forces from the Alliance landed on New Dodge Junction, and declared to be under the rule of Her Majesty, Princess Celestia. They had come to “bring harmony and order”. What they brought was subjection. The shot had fired, and ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could have stopped it. Ponies everywhere were roused to anger. Declared the Imperialists really were staying true to their ideology of all ponies being subjected under one rule, and that they would stop at nothin’ to complete Celestia’s Solar Empire. Princess Luna herself spoke out against the movement by her sister. Said (on inter-planetary vidcom, mind you) that Celestia’s actions were “grievous, insulting, and an affront to galactic harmony”. And that was the spark that everypony needed to light the fire, and ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could have stopped it from spreadin’. In retaliation, ponies everywhere rioted. Every settlement had protesters, and every major city had violent outbreaks. In an attempt to restore calm, Celestia sent out more forces to put down the riots, despite Luna’s pleas to the contrary. In their zeal, one of the “peace ponies” shot a filly on Appleloosa Moon. And all hell broke loose. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could’ve stopped it. Rallying to the cries of “freedom!” and “for the New Lunar Republic!”, Republican ponies launched an attack on Manehattan X, one of the major city-planets in the Solar Empire. And it weren’t pretty. A bloody massacre- they say somewhere about a hundred-thousand ponies were killed. In response to the “Manehattan X Massacre”, the Imperialists nuked the Everfree Moons. And so on the war went. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse that could’ve stopped it. Even the Princesses took sides against one another. And there were times when they even fought in battle against each other. Those were the terrifyin’ times, and the battles that don’t ever leave a pony’s memory. Celestia came to be known by ponyfolk as the “Sorrowful Sun”, on account of her raining fire and sulfur on her enemies. And Luna was given the title of “Nightmare Moon”. If I shudder to describe the actions of the Sorrowful Sun, I dare not give expression to what Luna did to be given that name. And so went on the bloodshed, ponies killing ponies. Even the zebras and griffons were pulled into the fray. During the whole time Luna, even after leading and directing her forces, still called for peace talks with Celestia. And every damn time, they’d break down. I even hear this one time, three assassination attempts were made on Luna at one of’em negotiation meetings in a manner of five minutes. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was true, given the circumstances. Five years. Five long, ruddy years that war lasted. But it, as all things do, came to an end. The fiercest battle fought in that whole hell of war was at Serenity Valley, over on Hera. The deadliest battle in all five years of fightin’. Just as it seemed the Republicans were going to push the Imperialists back, the order was given to stand down. Then it took’em a week to finally get to the soldiers left in the pits of dead ponies. Gave them the news: the war ended a week past, with the New Lunar Republic surrendering to the Solar Empire. Ain’t no damn power in the damn ‘verse could’ve stopped that either, I suppose. The Republicans were scattered ‘cross the settlements, heads hangin’ in shame. Good number of’em went off and killed themselves. And what of Princess Luna, defender of independence and the Republicans' beloved leader? Some say she was executed. However, the most popular story is that Princess Celestia banished her to some moon, “sealing her away”. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. Frankly, I don’t care very much what happened to her. Don’t care that much what happened to any Republican. The war is behind me now. After all was said and done, I got me a ship and got me a crew. We drift, avoidin’ the Empire as best we can, taking on jobs (legal or otherwise) wherever we can find’em. The war is behind me now. I still may be a solider- damn, I might even still be a Republican- but the war is over now. I’m just Big Mac, nothin’ more or less. What ponies see is what they get. And I aim to survive, and I plan on doing just that. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse can stop me. Happy Unification Day“And it was upon this day, this glorious day that the Great War of Unification was ended! When the rule of the Most Mighty and Benevolent Princess Celestia was stretched forth across the galaxy, and the wayward ponies who sought to foolishly be independent were returned to the herd. Upon this day, the so-called New Lunar Republic fell, and the great and magnificent Solar Empire shone forth its beauteous glory upon all the stars! The naive Republicans…” Big Mac sighed, taking a sip of his cider. Sitting on a wooden stool next to him, Applejack laughed. “Some ponies just don’t know when to give it a rest. Eh, Big Mac?” Turning towards her, Big Mac gave her a look. “I don’t care much about what those ponies are goin’ on about. We’re here to get a job done, and we’ve gone and done it. I intend to leave here, and soon. Ain’t nothin’ for us left here, but the ramblings of drunken ponies using U-day as an excuse for getting drunk.” Applejack nodded, getting off the stool as Big Mac did, and followed him out of the bar. “They’re mighty luck we heard about their need, and they’re mighty lucky we were able to fill it”, she said. “Damn shame though- I will miss my nightly partakin’ of cider. Especially what we had. Ain't nothin’ in the ‘verse like Apple Family cider to sooth the parched pony after a day’s hard work.” It was Big Mac’s turn to give a chuckle. “Honestly Applejack, what would ma say? Look at you, drinkin’ and swearin’. She’d tan your flank for the amount of cider you ‘partake of’, and she’d wash out ‘yer mouth for using them curses.” Applejack gave him a smug look and replied, “Yeah, well, ma would have ‘yer flank for lettin’ me do those things!” Before Big Mac could give her a proper retort, a rock hit his head. “Hey, you two!” Big Mac and Applejack turned to see a red stallion staring at them. The stallion continued, “How come I didn’t see you two join on in the U-day festivities?” Applejack gave her brother a look, which he returned. Turning towards to the rock-tossing pony, Big Mac spoke. “No time, I’m ‘fraid. See, we were just here to drop off the cider for the celebration. Passin’ through, as it were. We merely stopped to quench our parched throats, and now we’re movin’ on.” By this time, a gang of ponies had gathered outside the bar. “Big Mac”, Applejack whispered, “I think it is about time we just leave.” A yellow unicorn, who seemed less drunk than the others, pushed his way through the crowd. Glaring at Big Mac for a few moments, he then shouted. “Aha! I knew there was somethin’ strange ‘bout you back in the bar. But with the lightin’ in there, I couldn’t see it. See now here, the reason they ain’t celebrating is because they’re Republicans! You can tell by that there brown coat that the big red one is wearing! Them Republicans were too poor to outfit their soldiers properly; only could afford to give’m dusters. The cheap bastards.” “Now look here, folks”, Big Mac said, “the War is over. Been over for years. I just want to move on with my life, and that is what I’m doin’. Now, if y’all will kindly excuse us, we’ll be leavin’ now.” “Not so fast”, a pegasus mare in the crowd cried. “We ain’t done with you two Browncoats quite yet. See, we has a special way we celebrate U-day with Republicans. We give y’all a taste of your loss. Remind y’all of just how weak y’all are. Bunch of damn cowards!” The gang of ponies nodded and jeered in agreement, and began advancing on the two. To everypony’s surprise, however, Applejack approached the group, her eyes dead-locked on the pegasus mare. Pushing through the crowd, she went right to the mare, never once taking her eyes off of her. Applejack came to a standstill in front of the pegasus, and glared at her. And just as suddenly as she had come over, she turned around. The pegasus laughed. “See, I told y’all! Bunch of damn cowa…” She did not finish her sentence, however, on account of Applejack bucking her in the jaw, and sending her flying back. Turning back around, her eyes were different now. They were hard and cold, and full of fury and death. “Maybe that’ll teach you to keep yer mouth shut”, Applejack yelled. “Ya shouldn’t be talkin’ about things ya don’t know a rat’s ass about! Coward?! HA! Maybe that’ll teach you to think twice ‘fore ya go on and open yer jabber-jaw again!” Big Mac saw what was about to happen, and rushed forward to help Applejack. Just as he arrived, the gang of ponies sprang on them, attacking wildly. Acting on instinct, the siblings fought together as a seamless whole, using their hooves to deflect incoming blows whilst throwing their own attacks. Before the fight got very far, however, they heard a shot. The fighting immediately stopped, and everypony glanced to the source of the sound. Hovering in the air was a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane, aiming an assault rifle at the lot of them. “Now see here”, Rainbow Dash spoke, “this is how its gonna go down! You’re gonna let the cowgirl and red stallion go, or I’m going to start shootin’. And I promise ya, the next one ain't gonna be no warning shot. So, move out of the damn way, and get the hell back to your drinkin’!” After the ponies had cantered off, Big Mac and Applejack continued their trek to their ship, Rainbow Dash flying over to them. “You dumbass”, Rainbow Dash yelled at Applejack. “Going off like that! Could have gotten yourself seriously injured!” “Rainbow Dash, I had everything under control”, Applejack retorted. “Besides, do you expect me to sit on by while they mock us? And, more importantly, while they’re makin’ fun of ‘ma brother?!” “And speaking of your brother” Rainbow Dash said, turning to face said pony. “Some brother you are! Letting your little sister go deal with a pack of drunkard all on her own! And some captain you are! Letting a subordinate rush off without orders! Why, if I were captain…” “Enough, Rainbow Dash”, Big Mac finally said, just as the three of them reached the ship. “Fact is, you’re not the captain! And no matter how much you complain, you ain’t getting’ the position. Now come on! We’ve got to get going!” Mumbling what sounded like “jackass” to herself, Rainbow Dash went off to her room. “AJ, you wanna get the engine running, and then meet me up in the bridge?” Giving Big Mac an affirmative nod, Applejack trotted off to the engines while Big Mac headed off to said bridge. Upon arriving there, he found a pink pony in a seat, playing with a set of toy dinosaurs. “And we shall call this land… THIS LAND! And it shall be….. oh, howdy there Captain!” The pink pony swiveled around in her chair, giving Big Mac a salute. “At ease, Pinkie Pie. And I keep tellin’ ya: you don’t need to call me ‘Captain’, or nothin’ fancy like that. And ya sure as hell don’t have to give me no salute.” Pinkie Pie giggled, smiling at him. “Oh, I know that Big Mac”, she responded, her voice full of mirth and joy. “Its just that I think it is only proper to give respect to the captain of the ship.” Flailing her hooves out dramatically, she shouted, “My captain! My captain! Oh, my captain!” “Now see here, Pinkie…” Before Big Mac could finish his sentence, Applejack’s voice came over the intercom. “Engines are engaged and ready to go! Just give her a few minutes, and we can fly off this chunk of rock! And, Big Mac, could I speak to you real quick like in the front hall? Meet’cha there in a few.” With that, the intercom faded out, and the engines started revving up. “You know what that means, Pinkie”, Big Mac said. “On it, Captain”, Pinkie responded, already pressing buttons and prepping the ship for flight. Nodding, Big Mac left the bridge to meet up with his sister. Sure enough, she was there awaiting him. The ship began to ascend, with Pinkie calling over the intercom, “Leaving atmo!” Looking his sister straight in the eye, he told her, “Shouldn’t have done what you did back there. Letting’em get you all riled up like that. Thought you knew better, AJ.” Big Mac continued to stare at his sister. She wasn’t no innocent little filly anymore. Oh, how the war had changed her. How it had changed them all. “Well dammit, Big Mac, what did ya expect me to do”, Applejack said exasperatedly. “Let’em talk about you that way? Let’em talk about us that way? You know as well as I do that I’m a stubborn pony, and I only take fools talkin’ so far ‘fore I have to lay’em straight.” “I expected you to keep your head cool, and not let yer’self be provoked”, Big Mac responded. “Out of everypony, I need you to keep a cool head. S’bad enough that I have a temper; you don’t need to be goin’ on out and imitating my bad habits.” Applejack snorted at his comment. “A little late for that, my dear brother. I’ve been imitatin’ you fer years now, and don’t’cha expect it to wear off anytime soon. I keep my cool about many a things. But, when somepony goes off and insults my family or my fellow Republicans, I ain’t gonna sit around. I will show my loyalty for all the ‘verse to see, and I’ll knock sense into ponies’ heads!” “Yeah, well, the war is over AJ”, Big Mac replied. “You heard’em back there- today is Unification Day. I’d rather just let bygones be bygones, and get on with my life. If they wanna go on and on about how great their Solar Empire is, let’em by all means. I intend to stay out of the Empire’s way, and make myself a livin’. I may not be rich, but I’m free, and the ‘verse knows that freedom is all I want.” “Speakin’ of U-day”, Applejack said, “we better get a move on, if we’re to celebrate it in our way. Otherwise, Granny Smith will have both our flanks, and she won’t show no mercy to us. And while we’re there, we can get s’more cider.” “And some passengers”, Big Mac said. “Passengers”, Applejack questioned. “Why’d we need passengers? If we need the bits, we can just ask for’em…” “No, AJ. We can’t ask for the bits. Things are tight as it is, and we don’t need to be goin’ and taking other pony’s hard earned pay.” Applejack just sighed, shaking her head. “Yer a big idiot, you know that? Everypony would be more than happy to help us out. For heaven’s sake, Macintosh, we grew up there! Our friends won’t turn their backs on us.” Big Mac stomped a hoof in frustration. “It ain’t about that, though I don’t wanna be takin’ any pony’s hard earned bits. No, it’s about appearances. We need the passengers to look more reputable; let’s face it- our beloved ship don’t look nothin’ like a nice ship. Looks more like a smugglin’ vessel. Which it is, mind you. But with some passengers…” “We’d look like regular businessponies”, Applejack replied. “Exactly”, Big Mac said. “See, I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Rolling her eyes, Applejack shoved her brother. Putting himself on intercom, Big Mac said, “Pinkie, set a course for home.” Receiving a resounding, “Aye-aye, captain!”, Big Mac began walking towards his room. Before he got very far, Applejack came up beside him and nuzzled him. “It’ll be good to be home and see everypony again”, she said quietly. She then went off to her own room. Reaching his quarters, Big Mac entered his room. Taking off his barding and saddle, he threw himself down on the bed. Looking at the ceiling he thought, “Home. Home. Home. Ponyville.” Turning on his side, he closed his eyes to sleep for the remainder of the trip back. To Ponyville… Returning HomeFrom Serenity, Big Mac looked down on the planet of Ponyville. He felt a rush of emotion and nostalgia as he was reminded of his time on the planet. Growing up on Sweet Apple Acres, learning how to buck the tree from pa, ma teaching him how to be a gentlepony, playing with Applejack, Applebloom being born, and ma and pa dying…. It was always strange, coming back to visit Ponyville. The place of so many memories, both good and bad, that had affected him his whole life. And the home of so many ponies that helped shape him into the stallion he had become today. It would be good them again. As he was pondering returning to his foalhood home, Big Mac received a call over the intercom. “Um, Mac”, Fluttershy’s soft voice resounded, “could you come to the engine room? That is, if you’re not busy. I just really need to talk to you. But, whenever you can is fine. … Um, thanks!” The last part was practically squeaked out. Chuckling to himself, Big Mac disengaged himself from pondering Ponyville and headed to the engine room. Upon entering the engine room, Fluttershy asked, “Um, is that you Mac?” “Eeyup”, he responded. He never could figure out how she could hear over all that blasted machinery. “Must be on account of her workin’ with it all the time”, Big Mac thought to himself, “just like I used ‘ta hear a pony approaching the orchard a mile away.” Fluttershy turned to look at him. Her face was covered in dirt and grease, and her eyes hinted at some source of frustration. “Oh, I’m so glad you could come here right away! Not that I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t come right away. Although, I am really glad that you did. Not that I, um, wanted to distract you from your, er, captainly duties. But, this really was important…” “Huh. Something must really frustratin’ ya, for you to be stammerin’ over yer words and such. ‘Ya haven’t done that ‘round me in quite some time. C’mon, Fluttershy- tell me what’s the problem.” Said pony looked at Big Mac, and sighed. “Well Mac, it’s just that… well, um, the engine’s not doing so well. I’ve tried everything I can to keep her going, but my poor baby Serenity is simply too run down for me to keep performing these small patches.” At the words ‘poor baby’, a small rabbit appeared and gave Fluttershy a rather angry glare. Said rabbit had several bandages applied to him. “Oh, Angel”, Fluttershy exclaimed, “I am not saying that you aren’t my poor baby. And to think, you got hurt because I asked you to help me. You’re such a good rabbit; I’ll see if I can get you some carrots when we get back to Ponyville. How does that sound Angel?” Giving what seemed to be some sort of satisfied look, Angel vanished back to where he came from. “Thanks again, Mac, for having Applejack start the engines up earlier. I would have, but Angel got hurt because he was helping me try and do some repairs and….” “S’quite all right, Fluttershy”, Big Mac replied. “I understand that you needed to take care of Angel, and that you needed to without delay. ‘Sides, Applejack was mighty happy to have helped ‘ya out. Now then, can ‘ya tell me what exactly we’re gonna be needin’ to do ‘bout the engine?” Blushing, Fluttershy exclaimed, “Oh! Yes. That. Well, simply put, we just need some new parts. We can’t make do with what we have for much longer. If we try and push it, I’m afraid Serenity simply will not be able to fly like she is supposed to. And, to top it off, we need….” “I think I understand what yer sayin’”, Big Mac said. “But see here, Fluttershy, I trust you. You can make Serenity fly like no one else can. No better mechanic that I know of. Now, I need ya to make her fly just a lil’ longer. Just ‘til we get down into Ponyville. We’ll deal with them parts then. Okay?” “Um, okay Mac”, Fluttershy spoke, barely above a whisper. Smiling, Big Mac cantered over and gave her a small kiss. “I believe in ya, Flutters. I believe in you. You can take care of them critters, and you sure as hell can take care of my ship. Keep Serenity flyin’, Flutters. Keep us flyin’ free.” Blushing fiercely, Fluttershy responded, “Yes, my captain.” Seeing that everything was taken care in the engine room, Big Mac headed up to the bridge. On the way, he encountered Rainbow Dash. “Heya Big Mac, sorry about earlier”, she started off. “I was just worried and whatnot, and more than a little frustrated at the situation. ‘Ya know how I can get.” “Your ‘pology is accepted, Rainbow,” Big Mac replied. “Ya just get ahead of yer’self sometimes, and that gets you into barrels of trouble. Especially”, Big Mac grinned, “when it comes ‘round to certain claims of bein’ a better captain.” “Such your damn mouth, Big Mac”, Rainbow Dash said, grinning back at him. “You know that someday I’m going to get you good, and then this ship’ll be mine! That’ll be the day!” Snorting, Big Mac continued his trek to the bridge. “That’ll be the day indeed”, he muttered to himself. Upon reaching the bridge, he questioned his pilot. “Pinkie, we ready to land?” Said pink pony pilot swiveled around in her seat to look at him. The look she gave him was a knowing one. “You know we aren’t ready to land, Captain”, she exclaimed. “We’re still one crew member short, silly! Rarity just sent me a message that she going to dock her shuttle before we land, and that she’ll be in any minute!” “Right”, Big Mac replied, “Rarity. I, er, thought that she was goin’ to dock after we landed.” As soon as he spoke, an elegant voice can over the intercom. “This is Rarity speaking. Requesting permission to dock to Serenity.” “Permission granted, Rarity”, Pinkie Pie said happily, pressing several buttons frantically. Getting on the intercom Pinkie announced, “ALRIGHT EVERYPONY, LISTEN ON UP! OUR FAVORITE HIGH-SOCIETY LADY HAS RETURNED, AND WE SHOULD GRACIOUSLY RECEIVE HER PRESENCE AND WELCOME HER HOME!” Grinning to Big Mac, she started heading out of the bridge. “C’mon now, Captain”, she said, “Time to welcome back Serenity’s Queen.” Giggling, she trotted off. “Dammit, Pinkie Pie”, Mac shouted after her, “I keep tellin’ ya- there ain’t no queen on ‘ma ship!” Shortly after everypony had gathered in the loading dock, the pony of the hour appeared. Beautiful and elegant as ever, Rarity gracefully made her way down the staircase towards the rest of her comrades. Looking at them all, she spoke. “Why, it is simply wonderful to see you all again! It simply has been much too long! How are all you darlings doing?” Before anyone could reply, however, Fluttershy flew up to meet Rarity, and embraced her in a tight hug. “Oh Rarity”, Fluttershy said, “It is so good to see you again!” Breaking the hug, Fluttershy looked at the white unicorn with a sly and slightly embarrassed look. “So, Rarity, how many stallions fell madly in love with you this time?” Without missing a beat, the mare replied, “Why, all of them of course! Poor things.” They both collapsed into a fit of giggles. “Why, I’m mighty happy to see your pretty face again, Rarity”, Applejack said, smiling all the while. “It’s good to have another gal back on ‘tha ship. Macintosh was gettin’ something rather unbearable, to be honest. We need someone to keep’em on his hooves.” “Thank you, Applejack”, Rarity replied, wearing a slight smirk. “I can only imagine what the lack of my presence has done to this ship, especially the Captain. However, you have nothing to worry yourself about. Now that I have returned, things will surely regain their equilibrium.” Grinning at this comment, Applejack tipped her hat in response. “Good to see you again, Rarity! I would have made you a welcome back cake and thrown you a party and it would have been so much fun but you know how it is on the ship and I figured thatwecouldjustdoitwhenwegetbacktoPonyvilleand….” Pinkie Pie at this point was talking so fast that it was getting hard to understand her. “Pinkie Pie, dear, no need to string your words together like that”, Rarity said. “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, and I do, you were right on not choosing to do it here. We will simply have to wait until we arrive in Ponyville for any proper celebrations to occur. Besides, I’m sure that the townsponies will want to throw us a gala in any case, for our return.” At this comment, Pinkie Pie seemed to explode with energy. “OH MY GOSH THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I SHOULD THROW A PARTY FOR REUNITING WITH THEM AND THEY COULD THROW US A WELCOME BACK PARTY ANDTHENITWOULDBEANAWESOMETWOFORONEPARTY OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” There was a silence as they all looked at Pinkie, who was breathing heavily after her verbal cacophony of words. Rainbow Dash coughed. “Yeah, er, well then… good to see you too, Rarity. I take it you racked in some good bits, then?” Rarity looked over at Rainbow Dash. “Dear, you want to hear of my work? Why Rainbow, that is simply something I cannot do. Excluding certain extenuating circumstances, it is simply not something that I am allowed to divulge.” “You better darn well not talk about such things on my ship”, Big Mac finally spoke up. “We don’t need to hear ‘bout your profitable trysts. Well, at least I don’t, anyways. Now then, since we’ve all gone and had ourselves a happy reunion with our bejeweled unicorn, can we please get ready to land? I would rather like to see my Granny Smith if y’all don’t mind, thank you very much.” As he began to walk away, he heard Rainbow Dash say, “Yeah, because if he doesn’t see her, it’ll be the last thing the Mighty Macintosh does!” Rolling his eyes, he continued onward to the bridge. It would be good to finally return home.
PrologueThe ‘verse can drive a pony mad, what with its empty, fathomless expanse. And it has driven many a pony mad. But we don’t know any better, because it’s all we know. Equestria. That is what it was called. The original home of ponies- and of zebras and griffons, I suppose. But, it ain’t our home any more. Hasn’t been for centuries. Now it is just known as the Equestria-That-Once-Was. They taught us all in school that we all had used up the resources on Equestria-That-Once-Was. And that, when all was bleak, chaos erupted. To ensure everypony’s survival, the Princesses Celestia and Luna ordered that we take to the skies; that all were to leave the Equestria-That-Once-Was, because there was nothing but chaos remaining. And not just the pegasi, but earth ponies and unicorns also. With the aerial knowledge of the pegasi, the magic of the unicorns, and the technology of the earth ponies, ships were forged. Ships that not merely could soar the skies, but could go where nopony had ever been before- space. And so, everypony piled on up into the spacecraft, and we took off, leaving behind the desolate world that we had ravaged. Traveling the stars, we discovered planets and moons that could be lived upon, provided the right circumstances. But, of course, ponies had the technology for that as well. And, besides, they had the Princesses Celestia and Luna to back them. No pony in the ‘verse could stop’em. So, ponies went about terra-forming planets and moons to be suitable for livin’, and folk settled on down. And life started again. Taking the center-most planet as the new base of operations, Princesses Celestia and Luna gave it the name of New Canterlot. From there, they sought to bring harmony to a tough way o’ living. Most of the planets everypony settled, while remaining on good enough terms with each other, were functionally independent. Course, there was the symbolic leadership of the Princesses, but it was just that: symbolic. They were a connection to the Equestria-That-Once-Was, and a unifying emblem amongst ponyfolk across the stars, but not much more. The center-most planets surrounding New Canterlot, on the other hoof, formed an inter-planetary organizational structure called the Alliance. Placing themselves under the direct rule of the Princesses, they sought to help usher in an age of stability. Sought to help everypony adjust to life out in the wide ‘verse. Which was all fine and dandy. Ain’t nopony had any problem with’em. Until the talks began. Some ponies began talking about bringing all the settlements under the rule of the Princesses. Said that the time of independent self-rule had come to an end. Said that we ponies needed to return to our way of living under the benevolent rule of our Princesses. They said a lot of things. It didn’t rub the right way with any pony outside the Alliance. Princess Luna was the one who spoke against it, ironically enough, her being royalty and all. She said that there was nothing wrong with holding alliances and good-will amongst ponies, and that to a certain extent that was necessary for order. However, she argued that each settlement should be entitled to autonomous self-rule, and that the age of monarchy had come to an end. Princess Celestia didn’t agree. At first the fightin’ was all words and ideology. Those who were on Celestia’s side became known as Imperialists, while those who lauded Luna’s model were dubbed the Republicans. If this division in politics separated even the sister Princesses, you can bet every star you can see it divided society as well. It weren’t no straight down the middle division either; you found ponies on every settled planet and moon voicing their opinion. If only it had stayed all strong words and thrown curses. Suppose that’d be too easy, and life ain’t meant to be easy. Under orders from Princess Celestia, armed forces from the Alliance landed on New Dodge Junction, and declared to be under the rule of Her Majesty, Princess Celestia. They had come to “bring harmony and order”. What they brought was subjection. The shot had fired, and ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could have stopped it. Ponies everywhere were roused to anger. Declared the Imperialists really were staying true to their ideology of all ponies being subjected under one rule, and that they would stop at nothin’ to complete Celestia’s Solar Empire. Princess Luna herself spoke out against the movement by her sister. Said (on inter-planetary vidcom, mind you) that Celestia’s actions were “grievous, insulting, and an affront to galactic harmony”. And that was the spark that everypony needed to light the fire, and ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could have stopped it from spreadin’. In retaliation, ponies everywhere rioted. Every settlement had protesters, and every major city had violent outbreaks. In an attempt to restore calm, Celestia sent out more forces to put down the riots, despite Luna’s pleas to the contrary. In their zeal, one of the “peace ponies” shot a filly on Appleloosa Moon. And all hell broke loose. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse could’ve stopped it. Rallying to the cries of “freedom!” and “for the New Lunar Republic!”, Republican ponies launched an attack on Manehattan X, one of the major city-planets in the Solar Empire. And it weren’t pretty. A bloody massacre- they say somewhere about a hundred-thousand ponies were killed. In response to the “Manehattan X Massacre”, the Imperialists nuked the Everfree Moons. And so on the war went. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse that could’ve stopped it. Even the Princesses took sides against one another. And there were times when they even fought in battle against each other. Those were the terrifyin’ times, and the battles that don’t ever leave a pony’s memory. Celestia came to be known by ponyfolk as the “Sorrowful Sun”, on account of her raining fire and sulfur on her enemies. And Luna was given the title of “Nightmare Moon”. If I shudder to describe the actions of the Sorrowful Sun, I dare not give expression to what Luna did to be given that name. And so went on the bloodshed, ponies killing ponies. Even the zebras and griffons were pulled into the fray. During the whole time Luna, even after leading and directing her forces, still called for peace talks with Celestia. And every damn time, they’d break down. I even hear this one time, three assassination attempts were made on Luna at one of’em negotiation meetings in a manner of five minutes. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was true, given the circumstances. Five years. Five long, ruddy years that war lasted. But it, as all things do, came to an end. The fiercest battle fought in that whole hell of war was at Serenity Valley, over on Hera. The deadliest battle in all five years of fightin’. Just as it seemed the Republicans were going to push the Imperialists back, the order was given to stand down. Then it took’em a week to finally get to the soldiers left in the pits of dead ponies. Gave them the news: the war ended a week past, with the New Lunar Republic surrendering to the Solar Empire. Ain’t no damn power in the damn ‘verse could’ve stopped that either, I suppose. The Republicans were scattered ‘cross the settlements, heads hangin’ in shame. Good number of’em went off and killed themselves. And what of Princess Luna, defender of independence and the Republicans' beloved leader? Some say she was executed. However, the most popular story is that Princess Celestia banished her to some moon, “sealing her away”. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. Frankly, I don’t care very much what happened to her. Don’t care that much what happened to any Republican. The war is behind me now. After all was said and done, I got me a ship and got me a crew. We drift, avoidin’ the Empire as best we can, taking on jobs (legal or otherwise) wherever we can find’em. The war is behind me now. I still may be a solider- damn, I might even still be a Republican- but the war is over now. I’m just Big Mac, nothin’ more or less. What ponies see is what they get. And I aim to survive, and I plan on doing just that. Ain’t no pony in the ‘verse can stop me.
Happy Unification Day“And it was upon this day, this glorious day that the Great War of Unification was ended! When the rule of the Most Mighty and Benevolent Princess Celestia was stretched forth across the galaxy, and the wayward ponies who sought to foolishly be independent were returned to the herd. Upon this day, the so-called New Lunar Republic fell, and the great and magnificent Solar Empire shone forth its beauteous glory upon all the stars! The naive Republicans…” Big Mac sighed, taking a sip of his cider. Sitting on a wooden stool next to him, Applejack laughed. “Some ponies just don’t know when to give it a rest. Eh, Big Mac?” Turning towards her, Big Mac gave her a look. “I don’t care much about what those ponies are goin’ on about. We’re here to get a job done, and we’ve gone and done it. I intend to leave here, and soon. Ain’t nothin’ for us left here, but the ramblings of drunken ponies using U-day as an excuse for getting drunk.” Applejack nodded, getting off the stool as Big Mac did, and followed him out of the bar. “They’re mighty luck we heard about their need, and they’re mighty lucky we were able to fill it”, she said. “Damn shame though- I will miss my nightly partakin’ of cider. Especially what we had. Ain't nothin’ in the ‘verse like Apple Family cider to sooth the parched pony after a day’s hard work.” It was Big Mac’s turn to give a chuckle. “Honestly Applejack, what would ma say? Look at you, drinkin’ and swearin’. She’d tan your flank for the amount of cider you ‘partake of’, and she’d wash out ‘yer mouth for using them curses.” Applejack gave him a smug look and replied, “Yeah, well, ma would have ‘yer flank for lettin’ me do those things!” Before Big Mac could give her a proper retort, a rock hit his head. “Hey, you two!” Big Mac and Applejack turned to see a red stallion staring at them. The stallion continued, “How come I didn’t see you two join on in the U-day festivities?” Applejack gave her brother a look, which he returned. Turning towards to the rock-tossing pony, Big Mac spoke. “No time, I’m ‘fraid. See, we were just here to drop off the cider for the celebration. Passin’ through, as it were. We merely stopped to quench our parched throats, and now we’re movin’ on.” By this time, a gang of ponies had gathered outside the bar. “Big Mac”, Applejack whispered, “I think it is about time we just leave.” A yellow unicorn, who seemed less drunk than the others, pushed his way through the crowd. Glaring at Big Mac for a few moments, he then shouted. “Aha! I knew there was somethin’ strange ‘bout you back in the bar. But with the lightin’ in there, I couldn’t see it. See now here, the reason they ain’t celebrating is because they’re Republicans! You can tell by that there brown coat that the big red one is wearing! Them Republicans were too poor to outfit their soldiers properly; only could afford to give’m dusters. The cheap bastards.” “Now look here, folks”, Big Mac said, “the War is over. Been over for years. I just want to move on with my life, and that is what I’m doin’. Now, if y’all will kindly excuse us, we’ll be leavin’ now.” “Not so fast”, a pegasus mare in the crowd cried. “We ain’t done with you two Browncoats quite yet. See, we has a special way we celebrate U-day with Republicans. We give y’all a taste of your loss. Remind y’all of just how weak y’all are. Bunch of damn cowards!” The gang of ponies nodded and jeered in agreement, and began advancing on the two. To everypony’s surprise, however, Applejack approached the group, her eyes dead-locked on the pegasus mare. Pushing through the crowd, she went right to the mare, never once taking her eyes off of her. Applejack came to a standstill in front of the pegasus, and glared at her. And just as suddenly as she had come over, she turned around. The pegasus laughed. “See, I told y’all! Bunch of damn cowa…” She did not finish her sentence, however, on account of Applejack bucking her in the jaw, and sending her flying back. Turning back around, her eyes were different now. They were hard and cold, and full of fury and death. “Maybe that’ll teach you to keep yer mouth shut”, Applejack yelled. “Ya shouldn’t be talkin’ about things ya don’t know a rat’s ass about! Coward?! HA! Maybe that’ll teach you to think twice ‘fore ya go on and open yer jabber-jaw again!” Big Mac saw what was about to happen, and rushed forward to help Applejack. Just as he arrived, the gang of ponies sprang on them, attacking wildly. Acting on instinct, the siblings fought together as a seamless whole, using their hooves to deflect incoming blows whilst throwing their own attacks. Before the fight got very far, however, they heard a shot. The fighting immediately stopped, and everypony glanced to the source of the sound. Hovering in the air was a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane, aiming an assault rifle at the lot of them. “Now see here”, Rainbow Dash spoke, “this is how its gonna go down! You’re gonna let the cowgirl and red stallion go, or I’m going to start shootin’. And I promise ya, the next one ain't gonna be no warning shot. So, move out of the damn way, and get the hell back to your drinkin’!” After the ponies had cantered off, Big Mac and Applejack continued their trek to their ship, Rainbow Dash flying over to them. “You dumbass”, Rainbow Dash yelled at Applejack. “Going off like that! Could have gotten yourself seriously injured!” “Rainbow Dash, I had everything under control”, Applejack retorted. “Besides, do you expect me to sit on by while they mock us? And, more importantly, while they’re makin’ fun of ‘ma brother?!” “And speaking of your brother” Rainbow Dash said, turning to face said pony. “Some brother you are! Letting your little sister go deal with a pack of drunkard all on her own! And some captain you are! Letting a subordinate rush off without orders! Why, if I were captain…” “Enough, Rainbow Dash”, Big Mac finally said, just as the three of them reached the ship. “Fact is, you’re not the captain! And no matter how much you complain, you ain’t getting’ the position. Now come on! We’ve got to get going!” Mumbling what sounded like “jackass” to herself, Rainbow Dash went off to her room. “AJ, you wanna get the engine running, and then meet me up in the bridge?” Giving Big Mac an affirmative nod, Applejack trotted off to the engines while Big Mac headed off to said bridge. Upon arriving there, he found a pink pony in a seat, playing with a set of toy dinosaurs. “And we shall call this land… THIS LAND! And it shall be….. oh, howdy there Captain!” The pink pony swiveled around in her chair, giving Big Mac a salute. “At ease, Pinkie Pie. And I keep tellin’ ya: you don’t need to call me ‘Captain’, or nothin’ fancy like that. And ya sure as hell don’t have to give me no salute.” Pinkie Pie giggled, smiling at him. “Oh, I know that Big Mac”, she responded, her voice full of mirth and joy. “Its just that I think it is only proper to give respect to the captain of the ship.” Flailing her hooves out dramatically, she shouted, “My captain! My captain! Oh, my captain!” “Now see here, Pinkie…” Before Big Mac could finish his sentence, Applejack’s voice came over the intercom. “Engines are engaged and ready to go! Just give her a few minutes, and we can fly off this chunk of rock! And, Big Mac, could I speak to you real quick like in the front hall? Meet’cha there in a few.” With that, the intercom faded out, and the engines started revving up. “You know what that means, Pinkie”, Big Mac said. “On it, Captain”, Pinkie responded, already pressing buttons and prepping the ship for flight. Nodding, Big Mac left the bridge to meet up with his sister. Sure enough, she was there awaiting him. The ship began to ascend, with Pinkie calling over the intercom, “Leaving atmo!” Looking his sister straight in the eye, he told her, “Shouldn’t have done what you did back there. Letting’em get you all riled up like that. Thought you knew better, AJ.” Big Mac continued to stare at his sister. She wasn’t no innocent little filly anymore. Oh, how the war had changed her. How it had changed them all. “Well dammit, Big Mac, what did ya expect me to do”, Applejack said exasperatedly. “Let’em talk about you that way? Let’em talk about us that way? You know as well as I do that I’m a stubborn pony, and I only take fools talkin’ so far ‘fore I have to lay’em straight.” “I expected you to keep your head cool, and not let yer’self be provoked”, Big Mac responded. “Out of everypony, I need you to keep a cool head. S’bad enough that I have a temper; you don’t need to be goin’ on out and imitating my bad habits.” Applejack snorted at his comment. “A little late for that, my dear brother. I’ve been imitatin’ you fer years now, and don’t’cha expect it to wear off anytime soon. I keep my cool about many a things. But, when somepony goes off and insults my family or my fellow Republicans, I ain’t gonna sit around. I will show my loyalty for all the ‘verse to see, and I’ll knock sense into ponies’ heads!” “Yeah, well, the war is over AJ”, Big Mac replied. “You heard’em back there- today is Unification Day. I’d rather just let bygones be bygones, and get on with my life. If they wanna go on and on about how great their Solar Empire is, let’em by all means. I intend to stay out of the Empire’s way, and make myself a livin’. I may not be rich, but I’m free, and the ‘verse knows that freedom is all I want.” “Speakin’ of U-day”, Applejack said, “we better get a move on, if we’re to celebrate it in our way. Otherwise, Granny Smith will have both our flanks, and she won’t show no mercy to us. And while we’re there, we can get s’more cider.” “And some passengers”, Big Mac said. “Passengers”, Applejack questioned. “Why’d we need passengers? If we need the bits, we can just ask for’em…” “No, AJ. We can’t ask for the bits. Things are tight as it is, and we don’t need to be goin’ and taking other pony’s hard earned pay.” Applejack just sighed, shaking her head. “Yer a big idiot, you know that? Everypony would be more than happy to help us out. For heaven’s sake, Macintosh, we grew up there! Our friends won’t turn their backs on us.” Big Mac stomped a hoof in frustration. “It ain’t about that, though I don’t wanna be takin’ any pony’s hard earned bits. No, it’s about appearances. We need the passengers to look more reputable; let’s face it- our beloved ship don’t look nothin’ like a nice ship. Looks more like a smugglin’ vessel. Which it is, mind you. But with some passengers…” “We’d look like regular businessponies”, Applejack replied. “Exactly”, Big Mac said. “See, I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Rolling her eyes, Applejack shoved her brother. Putting himself on intercom, Big Mac said, “Pinkie, set a course for home.” Receiving a resounding, “Aye-aye, captain!”, Big Mac began walking towards his room. Before he got very far, Applejack came up beside him and nuzzled him. “It’ll be good to be home and see everypony again”, she said quietly. She then went off to her own room. Reaching his quarters, Big Mac entered his room. Taking off his barding and saddle, he threw himself down on the bed. Looking at the ceiling he thought, “Home. Home. Home. Ponyville.” Turning on his side, he closed his eyes to sleep for the remainder of the trip back. To Ponyville…
Returning HomeFrom Serenity, Big Mac looked down on the planet of Ponyville. He felt a rush of emotion and nostalgia as he was reminded of his time on the planet. Growing up on Sweet Apple Acres, learning how to buck the tree from pa, ma teaching him how to be a gentlepony, playing with Applejack, Applebloom being born, and ma and pa dying…. It was always strange, coming back to visit Ponyville. The place of so many memories, both good and bad, that had affected him his whole life. And the home of so many ponies that helped shape him into the stallion he had become today. It would be good them again. As he was pondering returning to his foalhood home, Big Mac received a call over the intercom. “Um, Mac”, Fluttershy’s soft voice resounded, “could you come to the engine room? That is, if you’re not busy. I just really need to talk to you. But, whenever you can is fine. … Um, thanks!” The last part was practically squeaked out. Chuckling to himself, Big Mac disengaged himself from pondering Ponyville and headed to the engine room. Upon entering the engine room, Fluttershy asked, “Um, is that you Mac?” “Eeyup”, he responded. He never could figure out how she could hear over all that blasted machinery. “Must be on account of her workin’ with it all the time”, Big Mac thought to himself, “just like I used ‘ta hear a pony approaching the orchard a mile away.” Fluttershy turned to look at him. Her face was covered in dirt and grease, and her eyes hinted at some source of frustration. “Oh, I’m so glad you could come here right away! Not that I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t come right away. Although, I am really glad that you did. Not that I, um, wanted to distract you from your, er, captainly duties. But, this really was important…” “Huh. Something must really frustratin’ ya, for you to be stammerin’ over yer words and such. ‘Ya haven’t done that ‘round me in quite some time. C’mon, Fluttershy- tell me what’s the problem.” Said pony looked at Big Mac, and sighed. “Well Mac, it’s just that… well, um, the engine’s not doing so well. I’ve tried everything I can to keep her going, but my poor baby Serenity is simply too run down for me to keep performing these small patches.” At the words ‘poor baby’, a small rabbit appeared and gave Fluttershy a rather angry glare. Said rabbit had several bandages applied to him. “Oh, Angel”, Fluttershy exclaimed, “I am not saying that you aren’t my poor baby. And to think, you got hurt because I asked you to help me. You’re such a good rabbit; I’ll see if I can get you some carrots when we get back to Ponyville. How does that sound Angel?” Giving what seemed to be some sort of satisfied look, Angel vanished back to where he came from. “Thanks again, Mac, for having Applejack start the engines up earlier. I would have, but Angel got hurt because he was helping me try and do some repairs and….” “S’quite all right, Fluttershy”, Big Mac replied. “I understand that you needed to take care of Angel, and that you needed to without delay. ‘Sides, Applejack was mighty happy to have helped ‘ya out. Now then, can ‘ya tell me what exactly we’re gonna be needin’ to do ‘bout the engine?” Blushing, Fluttershy exclaimed, “Oh! Yes. That. Well, simply put, we just need some new parts. We can’t make do with what we have for much longer. If we try and push it, I’m afraid Serenity simply will not be able to fly like she is supposed to. And, to top it off, we need….” “I think I understand what yer sayin’”, Big Mac said. “But see here, Fluttershy, I trust you. You can make Serenity fly like no one else can. No better mechanic that I know of. Now, I need ya to make her fly just a lil’ longer. Just ‘til we get down into Ponyville. We’ll deal with them parts then. Okay?” “Um, okay Mac”, Fluttershy spoke, barely above a whisper. Smiling, Big Mac cantered over and gave her a small kiss. “I believe in ya, Flutters. I believe in you. You can take care of them critters, and you sure as hell can take care of my ship. Keep Serenity flyin’, Flutters. Keep us flyin’ free.” Blushing fiercely, Fluttershy responded, “Yes, my captain.” Seeing that everything was taken care in the engine room, Big Mac headed up to the bridge. On the way, he encountered Rainbow Dash. “Heya Big Mac, sorry about earlier”, she started off. “I was just worried and whatnot, and more than a little frustrated at the situation. ‘Ya know how I can get.” “Your ‘pology is accepted, Rainbow,” Big Mac replied. “Ya just get ahead of yer’self sometimes, and that gets you into barrels of trouble. Especially”, Big Mac grinned, “when it comes ‘round to certain claims of bein’ a better captain.” “Such your damn mouth, Big Mac”, Rainbow Dash said, grinning back at him. “You know that someday I’m going to get you good, and then this ship’ll be mine! That’ll be the day!” Snorting, Big Mac continued his trek to the bridge. “That’ll be the day indeed”, he muttered to himself. Upon reaching the bridge, he questioned his pilot. “Pinkie, we ready to land?” Said pink pony pilot swiveled around in her seat to look at him. The look she gave him was a knowing one. “You know we aren’t ready to land, Captain”, she exclaimed. “We’re still one crew member short, silly! Rarity just sent me a message that she going to dock her shuttle before we land, and that she’ll be in any minute!” “Right”, Big Mac replied, “Rarity. I, er, thought that she was goin’ to dock after we landed.” As soon as he spoke, an elegant voice can over the intercom. “This is Rarity speaking. Requesting permission to dock to Serenity.” “Permission granted, Rarity”, Pinkie Pie said happily, pressing several buttons frantically. Getting on the intercom Pinkie announced, “ALRIGHT EVERYPONY, LISTEN ON UP! OUR FAVORITE HIGH-SOCIETY LADY HAS RETURNED, AND WE SHOULD GRACIOUSLY RECEIVE HER PRESENCE AND WELCOME HER HOME!” Grinning to Big Mac, she started heading out of the bridge. “C’mon now, Captain”, she said, “Time to welcome back Serenity’s Queen.” Giggling, she trotted off. “Dammit, Pinkie Pie”, Mac shouted after her, “I keep tellin’ ya- there ain’t no queen on ‘ma ship!” Shortly after everypony had gathered in the loading dock, the pony of the hour appeared. Beautiful and elegant as ever, Rarity gracefully made her way down the staircase towards the rest of her comrades. Looking at them all, she spoke. “Why, it is simply wonderful to see you all again! It simply has been much too long! How are all you darlings doing?” Before anyone could reply, however, Fluttershy flew up to meet Rarity, and embraced her in a tight hug. “Oh Rarity”, Fluttershy said, “It is so good to see you again!” Breaking the hug, Fluttershy looked at the white unicorn with a sly and slightly embarrassed look. “So, Rarity, how many stallions fell madly in love with you this time?” Without missing a beat, the mare replied, “Why, all of them of course! Poor things.” They both collapsed into a fit of giggles. “Why, I’m mighty happy to see your pretty face again, Rarity”, Applejack said, smiling all the while. “It’s good to have another gal back on ‘tha ship. Macintosh was gettin’ something rather unbearable, to be honest. We need someone to keep’em on his hooves.” “Thank you, Applejack”, Rarity replied, wearing a slight smirk. “I can only imagine what the lack of my presence has done to this ship, especially the Captain. However, you have nothing to worry yourself about. Now that I have returned, things will surely regain their equilibrium.” Grinning at this comment, Applejack tipped her hat in response. “Good to see you again, Rarity! I would have made you a welcome back cake and thrown you a party and it would have been so much fun but you know how it is on the ship and I figured thatwecouldjustdoitwhenwegetbacktoPonyvilleand….” Pinkie Pie at this point was talking so fast that it was getting hard to understand her. “Pinkie Pie, dear, no need to string your words together like that”, Rarity said. “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, and I do, you were right on not choosing to do it here. We will simply have to wait until we arrive in Ponyville for any proper celebrations to occur. Besides, I’m sure that the townsponies will want to throw us a gala in any case, for our return.” At this comment, Pinkie Pie seemed to explode with energy. “OH MY GOSH THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I SHOULD THROW A PARTY FOR REUNITING WITH THEM AND THEY COULD THROW US A WELCOME BACK PARTY ANDTHENITWOULDBEANAWESOMETWOFORONEPARTY OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” There was a silence as they all looked at Pinkie, who was breathing heavily after her verbal cacophony of words. Rainbow Dash coughed. “Yeah, er, well then… good to see you too, Rarity. I take it you racked in some good bits, then?” Rarity looked over at Rainbow Dash. “Dear, you want to hear of my work? Why Rainbow, that is simply something I cannot do. Excluding certain extenuating circumstances, it is simply not something that I am allowed to divulge.” “You better darn well not talk about such things on my ship”, Big Mac finally spoke up. “We don’t need to hear ‘bout your profitable trysts. Well, at least I don’t, anyways. Now then, since we’ve all gone and had ourselves a happy reunion with our bejeweled unicorn, can we please get ready to land? I would rather like to see my Granny Smith if y’all don’t mind, thank you very much.” As he began to walk away, he heard Rainbow Dash say, “Yeah, because if he doesn’t see her, it’ll be the last thing the Mighty Macintosh does!” Rolling his eyes, he continued onward to the bridge. It would be good to finally return home.
