Mes Petits Miserables (Les Miserables Ponified)

by Andulin

Masters of Morale

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Applejack and Sweetie Bell weaved through the streets as fast as they could. They kept running until long after anypony could follow them. They finally settled down in an alley somewhere near the Public Shelter. Applejack sat down, keeping an eye out for any guards or worse thugs. The last thing she wanted was for Sweetie Bell to experience what she went through.

Suddenly, Sweetie Bell started sobbing uncontrollably into her worn party dress. AJ put a gentle hoof on her shoulder, "You ok sugar cube?"

The young unicorn sniffled," I'm scared for Rarity. S-she's going to prison isn't she? The Princess, she..."

"Shh. It'll be alright young'un. Rarity's tougher than she looks. She's gonna be just fine. It's them prison guards I'm worried about."

Sweetie Bell managed to smile a bit. Her eyes were still a little teary though.

"Come on now. We gotta get ya outta that dress. Don't want ya stickn' out round these parts. Then we can go find a Pinkie Pie."

They hid the dress in a rubbish pile and rolled around in the dirt for good measure. Despite the circumstances, Sweetie Bell seemed glad for the rare opportunity to get dirty. After they looked sufficiently downtrodden, the unicorn started leading them down the mountainside towards the Canterlot rodeo grounds where the circus was camped.

After a few minutes of walking Sweetie Bell asked Applejack, "How can you deal with it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"How do you deal with all this? Apple Bloom, the mines, and now Twilight. I don't know how you can stay so strong through it. I've just had a taste of what this is and I can barely take it. So how can you?"

Applejack lowered her head and allowed a single tear, "The truth is I can't sugar cube. All this... trouble is tearin' me ta pieces. But my folks taught me to never let yer problems become somepony else's. That means I have to keep a strong face and act brave. Even though I'm more scared than anyth'n."

Silence hung between them for a few moments. Then Sweetie Bell asked, "Do you miss them? Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and the others."

Applejack looked her companion, "More than anything." They continued to walk.

[Applejack]
Suddenly alone
Suddenly shes gone
One strike of a gavel
Then there's one
One day I was home
With my kin right beside me
Then a stir in the heart
Caused them to depart
With me alone

Suddenly the world
Seemed a different place
Everypony mak'n haste
Towards war
I suppose I should've known that it
Would eventually reach me
What is past 's gone
Now we journey on through the night

How was I supposed ta see
When tragedy started stalk'n me
When they showed up at my door
I could no longer ignore
With guns set blazing the night
They all fell for their good fight
They have no future of love and care
No more memories that we can share

Forever alone
Forever apart
The Princess broke my heart
like a glass
Just one word ta spare a life
That's all I ever wanted
Suddenly she leaves
My friend abandoned me
And then suddenly
I'm alone

The pair finally arrived at the carnival grounds. The random assortment of attractions bore Pinkie and Discord's special brand of entertainment. Over the natural sounds of the night a Discord's voice spoke over a PA system.

Do you want a break from Equestria's endless stream of holidays? Well too bad because here we party every day.

The place was dark and empty save for a yellow pegasus tending a nearby animal pen. AJ and Sweetie Bell approached her. When she saw somepony approaching Fluttershy hid ducked behind the fence. She peeked her head out to say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed right now. Come back tomorrow if that's ok with yo-" Fluttershy gasped and tackled her friend," Applejack!"

AJ chuckled,"Howdy do, Fluttershy. How've ya been?"

"Oh I'm fine. I just take care of my little animal friends around here. Celestia also told me to keep an eye on Discord, but I don't think he needs watching."

Drink Flim/Flam cider, because who cares if it tastes horrible if everypony can have some.

Applejack raised an eyebrow, "If ya say so. Look Fluttershy, we need a place to lie low for a while."

"Oh dear, what happened? Please come on in. Tell me everything"

They all went to a large tent near the center of the grounds. Along the way, Applejack and Sweetie Bell gave a brief explanation of the events of that night.

"My goodness, that IS horrible. I hope Rarity and Twilight are alright. I'd hate to see all my friends fight again." Fluttershy open a flap to the dark interior of the tent, "now please be quiet. Pinkie's been working so hard and I'd hate to interrupt her sleep."

As soon as the trio entered the tent Pinkie Pie burst out in an explosion of confetti and streamers screaming "Surprise!" Fluttershy passed out in shock to the party pony's sudden appearance.

Pinkie Pie bounced around them gleefully, "I knew it! I knew my Pinkie Senses were right. An itchy knee means an old friend will come looking for help. Madame Le Flour said it meant a volcano was erupting, but she was totally wrong."

Applejack once again gave the low down of what happened. Pinkie Pie did not look the least bit surprised, "So you came over here to have a super secret, hide from Twilight slumber party!"

Applejack yawned, "eeyup." She noticed Sweetie Bell looked tired too. "Look Pinkie I'd love ta talk more but it's gett'n late. We can talk more in the morn'n."

The pink pony nodded, "Okey- dokey, the beds are over here.


AJ woke up to a cold shower of water soaking her. She jumped out of bed and landed face first of the dirt floor. She quickly got up to find Discord laughing hysterically. "Why the tarnation did ya do that for?" the earth pony yelled, waking poor Sweetie Bell up.

"Wh- what's happening?" the unicorn asked groggily

Discord snapped his fingers and the shower head soaking the bed disappeared, "I just happened to come to work when I found a little fugitive that absolutely reeked of honesty. So I thought a nice shower would wipe that honesty right off her." her eyed her closely, "Clearly that stain is much tougher than I thought."

"Gee thanks a lot Discord." Applejack said sarcastically.

"Now thats more like it Applejack. Take out that annoyed tone in your voice and you should have no trouble lying to everypony you meet. You don't want Princess Twilight to catch you right?"

"I ain't lyin' ta nopony and how'd ya find out 'bout that any way?"

The Draconicus manifested a newspaper into his claw, "It's all over the news my dear. 'Republican Mad Mare Attacks Prince,' 'Princess Twilight Issues Warrant for Fugitives arrest' congratulations you are now the most wanted mare in Canterlot."

Applejack sighed, "Twilight always knew how ta organize things quickly."

Discord rolled his eyes, "Oh yes, Twilight Sparkle. I don't know if you've noticed but she has become such a bore since your... imprisonment. She's always keeping harmony this and they all betrayed me that. Like she has any clue what betrayal is."

"Speak'n of betrayal how do I know ya ain't gonna snitch on me?"

"You can trust me pal. I already promised Fluttershy to tell nopony where you are, Cross my claws hope to fly stick a cupcake in your pie hole." a halo appeared above his head as he stuffed a cupcake into Sweetie Bell's mouth.

In that second Fluttershy came into the tent in a clear rush, "I'm sorry to interrupt but Discord? Pinkie says we have to start in a minute. Ponies are already starting to come in."

Sweetie Bell squeed at the prospect of seeing one Pinkie and Discord's legendary shows. "Can I get a front row seat Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy shrugged, "I guess its ok." The pair exited to secure their seats.

"I'll be there in a minute," Discord called after them.

Applejack couldn't help but ask, "How is it y'all came round to runnin' a circus anyway?"

Discord gave a mischievous smile, "Oh ho ho, I'll tell you." AJ immediately regretted the question.

[Discord]
My life was dull, with nothing for me to do
No funny jokes, and no chaos to ensue
All that war made everypony glum
With only tea for fun (no offense to Fluttershy)
I told Celestia how I feel
And so we made a deal

Discord snapped his fingers and suddenly they were in the stands of the rodeo arena. Which was painted gaudily with pink and blue stripes. There were already dozens of ponies with more flooding in and they were all looking at the two who just materialized.

[Discord]
Welcome, Madame, sit yourself down
And see the best showcase around
Here we have fun, smiles drawn wide
Bringing out the filly your hiding inside
Courtesy of me
And my pal Pinkie
By Celestia's command
We both get to be

Masters of morale, Jesters of the crown
Turning all your problems upside down
Playing every night, selling out the house
And we do it better than any talking mouse
Everypony needs some madness
To cut their daily woes
Mix some magic with a song
And well you can see how it goes

Masters of morale, Jokers till the end
None can resist a simple reality bend
Going back in time, shattering the wall
Twisting up your mind till you lose it all
Everpony loves Discord
Always a your best friend
I can do what I please
Trust me we'll be laughing in the end

[All]
Masters of morale, Keeping spirits high
Courtesy of Discord and Pinkie Pie
Always there for you, always with a smile
Helping out even when its out of style
Everypony needs kindness
Everypony needs a laugh

[Pinkie Pie]
Wait a second Discord
I'll start off the next half

Come on my friends,lets have some fun
This Pinkie Party has only begun
Start up the games, blow up the balloons
Pull up a chair and watch some cartoons
Break out the party cannon
Watch as everything explodes
Put your happy faces on
And we'll have laughter by the loads

Have a couple snacks, something nice and sweet
Try a Rainbow cupcake they can't be beat
Doughnuts, chocolate mousse, delectable eclairs
Cherrychunga, lollipops, and gummy bears
We love hearing new jokes
Even a few honest pranks
Every ounce of joy
Earns a special thanks

A pony in the crowd somehow managed to scrunch his face in to a cyclops pony look for a minute, earning a huge applause.

[Discord]
Hooray for you Monsieur, have some lemonade
By the way have you seen Princess Promenade?
Oh you have not? Are you sure that's wise
Everypony in the audience gets a prize
Don't think nothing of it
I'm just doing my job
Not that I get payed, but hey
pastries are easy to rob

[All]
Masters of morale, keeping spirits high
Courtesy of Discord and Pinkie Pie
Always there for you, always with a smile
Helping out even when its out of style
Everypony needs kindness
Life can be such a trial

[Discord]
And we will hold you over
At least for a little while

[Pinkie Pie]
I used to fill the town with joy
But now its like looking at a broken toy

Master of Morale, is very very hard
Everypony smiles but has a broken heart
I do what I can, wipe away their tears
Keeping them going when they get out of here
Leaving with gleam of courage, hoping they would stay strong
One thing I know for sure they won't be gone for long

[Audience]
Masters of Morale

[Discord]
Plus a Fluttershy

[Audience]
Most considerate of friends

[Pinkie Pie]
Now its time to say goodbye

[Audience]
Always there for you, always with a smile

[Discord]
Such formalities are not my style

[Audience]
Everypony loves Discord
Who doesn't like Pinkie Pie

[Pinkie Pie]
Everypony make a toast

[Discord]
To your humble host

[All]
We will always be your pal, the Masters of Morale

snap! The arena was instantly cleared of all the visitors. Sweetie Bell and Applejack stomped their hooves in applause. "That was amazing," shouted Sweetie Bell.

Pinkie jumped to their place in the stands, "I know, right? You should have seen last years Nightmare Night party. Haha, Discord brought the scariest cave in Equestria right in the middle of Manehattan. It was great."

Fluttershy shuttered at the memory, "please don't mention that again."

Suddenly a thunderous, distant boom rang through the air. The mares looked up to find a piece of paper drifting down to them and a rainbow trail fading into the distance. Pinkie quickly grabbed it and read it over. She gasped," It's a super duper secret letter from Rainbow Dash."

Applejack's eyes widened, "by golly, she's still alive. Noth'n could take down that pony.

"She must have been very far away for all this time. I've never heard a sonic rainboom that faint," said a concerned Fluttershy.

"Well Pinkie, what does it say?" asked AJ.

"Calling all freedom fighters. The time has come to act. Meet me at the beginning of the end.," Pinkie Pie smiled, "oh boy I love riddles. Lets see... the oven, no... the hospital?... I know! the climax!"

Applejack stuck a hoof in the pink pony's mouth, "I think I got this sugar cube. If Rainbow's talk'n about the war then there's only one place she'd go. She's goin' home."

"Ponyville?! That's where the Summer Sun Celebration is," Sweetie Bell provided, " remember Applejack, I was supposed to sing there this year."

"What?!" cried Pinkie, "they're having the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyvillle without me? That's it we're going."

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asked, "I mean I miss Rainbow Dash too but the letter it sounds like ponies are going to be fighting again.I don't think I can take it." She started crying

AJ comforted the pegasus, "I understand Fluttershy. I ain't exactly beat'n the war drums either, but I have a few words for that blue devil."

Pinkie nodded "It's settled then."

"Hey where did Discord go?" Sweetie Bell inquired. Sure enough the draconicus had disappeared.

Applejack looked around frantically, "where did that lizard go?"

Pinkie shrugged, "oh he'll be alright. Come on we have some packing to do."


Author's Note

This chapter was a pain to write. I hope you like it. Please like, comment and critique

PS For the sake of your sanity do not watch Princess Promenade or any other G3 MLP no matter what Discord says.

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