Pony Pony Pony: The Thirty Minute Stories Collection

Chapters

2: Unnamed (Appleshocked)
3: Sorry
4: Don't Read This One
5: A House-guest
6: The Ascent
7: Oops
10: A Night On the Town
8: The Dance
1: Visiting Hours
9: The Funeral

2: Unnamed (Appleshocked)

“Ah’m telling you, the most cider ever drunk in a single sitting was mah great granny, Hard Cider! It was her freakin’ cutie mark for land's sake!” Applejack shouted.

“And I’m telling you, everypony knows that Commander Hurricane’s son, Water Spout who drank the most! He drank half the bars in Cirra dry in one night!” Rainbow Dash shouted right back

“That’s just an old story!”

“And your’s is family myth!”

The two butted heads and glared for a moment.

“So…” Applejack backed off, “How are we gonna settle this?”

Rainbow Dash grinned. “Well, the two of us could have a little competition right here. Right now.”

“Celestial sake Rainbow, it’s two in the afternoon! You might have a problem. I was thinking something along the lines of asking someone who would know. Like Granny Smith.”

“No! She’s biased, of course she’ll go with your side of things. Weave got to ask someone who knows all kinds of important information like this, but isn't involved in the argument.”

“So… a bartender?” Applejack frowned. “ We’re not going to a bar at two in the afternoon.”

“No.” Dash pouted. “I meant the egghead down the street. If she doesn't know this kind of thing, she’ll at least be able to tell us where to find it.” Maybe a bar, Dash thought.

“Hm. Fine.”

“Twi? You in here?” Applejack called as they pushed open the library’s doors. The lights were on, but no one had answered when they knocked. The two ponies trotted into the main room and looked around.

“No sign of her,” Dash pointed out. “Let’s split up. You go see if she’s upstairs, I’ll see if a book looks like it would have an answer.”

“Alright, but i’m gonna check to make sure the book really has the answer.”

Dash watched Applejack trot up the stairs, trying not to stare at her flank as she climbed. She did not succeed. She shook her head, banishing the thoughts. She’s not interested, you've been through this Rainbow, she thought as she started scanning the shelves. That drunken night was just that. She likes Rarity.

“I know, I know,” she whispered, “but I can still dream.”

Dash listened to AJ knocking on doors one by one upstairs, and she kept looking at shelves of books. This would be so much easier if I knew how these were organized. Or what I was looking for. Quickly she sighted a book with a name she recognized. “The Whinnies Book of Records.” Well, Whinnies is a brewery, surely their record book would have this.

She had reached out for the book and started flipping through pages, looking for a table of contents, when Applejack reappeared at the bottom of the stairs. Rainbow Dash looked up at her friend, trying to read her expression. She seemed to be staring straight ahead, eyes wide, with her face blank.

“AJ?” she asked. There was no response. “Was Twilight upstairs?”

Applejack nodded and started walking to the front door. Dash placed the book back on the shelf and started trotting towards the stairs, keeping an eye on Applejack. That’s kind of weird, even for Applejack. Maybe Twilight told her it was Water Spout and she can’t take the loss. That doesn't make sense though, we've argued about almost everything by now, and both won about as many as we lost, so she should have been used to it by now.

Rainbow climbed the stairs and looked down the narrow hallway, the only open door led to, of course, the bedroom. What are these other rooms even for? All the books are downstairs, the lab’s in the basement, and Spike sleeps in her room, she wondered as she walked toward the open door.

Dash stuck her head, about to ask what was up with Applejack, and her jaw dropped. Reclining on Twilights bed were Twilight and Rarity, currently tangled in each other’s limbs. She could see that they were both passionately kissing, and oblivious to intrusion of their privacy. Rainbow Dash very slowly and quietly backed out of the room, tiptoeing down the stairs. Well. That answers a few questions.

She found no trace of Applejack in the library so she opened the door to leave and found her friend sitting on the steps just outside. She closed the door behind her and sat next to the farmpony. She looked awkwardly at her friend, who had lowered her hat and looked like she was trying to fight back tears. I know the feeling partner.

Rainbow put her wing around her friend. “I’m sorry AJ. I’m real sorry.”

3: Sorry

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no-" I shook my head, this can't be happening.

"Pinkie," Twilight said from her position on the ground. "Pinkie I need you to focus."

"Twilight I'm so sorry! I didn't mean -"

"I know Pinkie, I know. But I need your help, and for that I need you to calm down, and focus."

I took a deep breath, and shuddered. I very slowly looked down at Twilight. One of her back legs was under some rubble, she had a bad gash on the side of her head that was still bleeding, and she was covered in a mixture of dust and confetti. I should have made sure it was safe first.

"Okay Twilight, what do you need me to do?"

She was breathing heavily. She tried to pull herself along the ground but grimaced and glared back at her leg. "That leg's trapped. I think I can lift the rocks off with magic, but you're going to need to pull me out. We'll have to be quick, I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it."

I took a few more deep breaths, trying not to panic again. "Okay. Okay. I can do that."

"Yes you can Pinkie." I took ahold of her shoulders. "Just start pulling when I say now."

Twilight screwed up her eyes and strained for a moment, both her horn and the large rock began to glow. Dust fell from the rock as it rose just a tiny bit from the floor.

"Now!" Twilight shouted, grinding her teeth and breathing hard.

I pulled with all my might until I was sure she was clear of the rock. I fell back and sat near her as she let the rock fall with a resounding crash. She lay there, panting with her eyes still shut tight for a few minutes.

"Twilight," I start to say, "I'm so-"

"I know Pinkie. I know."

She winced and rolled over, from her side to her stomach, and tried to stand. She gasped in pain and fell back down.

"I think... I think my leg's broken." She said calmly.

My eyes started to water. She looked up at me.

"Pinkie, it's not your fault. I need you to keep it together until we can get out of here."

I set my jaw and nodded. She started to look around, trying to work out a plan. Twilight always comes up with a plan. I tried not to look too hard at her but I couldn't help it. The leg that was under the rubble was definitely broken, splayed out behind her at an odd angle. One of her wings looked to be in really bad shape too, it hung limp by her side. The gash on her head was still bleeding, and it was starting to run down the side of her neck.

"Pinkie? Pinkie I need you to pay attention."

"I- Twilight, how are so calm?" I couldn't take my eyes off her wing.

"It doesn't hurt that bad, not unless I try to stand on the leg. I think that means I'm going into shock, so we need to move quickly."

I nodded again, and brought my eyes to meet hers.

"Are we in the basement right now? Did the cannon knock out the floor?"

"I think the roof knocked out the floor," I said, looking up at the clouds floating past overhead.

"Okay, okay," She muttered, looking around again. "Pinkie, I don't think you can get me out of her on your own. But you can get out, and go get help, someone has to have seen or heard something."

"No! I'm not leaving you here Twilight!" I cried at her, fighting back more tears.

"Pinkie it's the only option. I can't even stand, let alone climb this or crawl under it to find a way out. You have to go find help. Find Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They can carry me right out through the hole."

I shook my head and sat down hard, sending a cloud of dust into the air. "I'm not leaving you here, this is my fault and I-"

"Pinkie please!" She snapped, and I looked at my hooves. "You can't get me out on your own, and pretty soon I'm going to pass out. Then it'll be even harder for you. You have to go get help."

I slowly started nodding and stood up, my eyes were watering again. "I'm sorry Twilight. I'll go find Dashie, she'll help."

Twilight thanked me breathlessly and lay back down on her side.

I turned and started looking at the rubble, trying to find a spot to climb up. It was slow going, climbing from tiny ledge to tiny ledge. It felt like an eternity but really couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes.

There were two other ponies in the square outside the bakery, or what remained of it. I pointed at one at random. "You! Run to the hospital, get them to send a doctor, or a cart, or anything."

He seemed surprised, but nodded and ran off in the right direction. I pointed at the other one. "Do you know where Rainbow Dash is?"

"She's, uh- she's near the square I think," he stammered, and I started sprinting towards the square.

It didn't take long to get there, and took even less time to spot Dash, she was overseeing some repairs to the town hall. Again? Already?

"Rainbow!" I called out, but she didn't seem to hear. "Dashie!"

She turned towards my voice and her eyes widened in shock. "Pinkie? What's- what happened to you?" She flew towards me.

I took a deep breath. "IwasworkingonanewcannonandIwantedtotestitsoIgotTwilighttocomehelpbutthenitexplodedandwewereinthebasementandherlegwashurtandit'sallmyfaultand-"

Rainbow put her hoof on my shoulder. "Pinkie calm down."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes, I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

"What was that about Twilight?" She asked gently.

"She's trapped in Sugarcube Corner. I can't get her out. You probably can, but I- I-" I started crying again.

"Take me there Pinkie, she's gonna be fine."

I was sitting in the waiting room of Ponyville's hospital, trying hard not to think about the events from earlier that morning when the nurse walked out.

"Pinkie?" I sat bolt upright. "Twilight's alright, and wanted to see you." I nodded, and she lead me down a hallway to her room. The nurse opened the door and ushered me inside before disappearing down the hall.

I looked at Twilight, sitting up in her bed, one of her legs and wings in a cast and a bandage on the side of her head. She smiled at me, and I started crying again.

"Pinkie, stop that," she said firmly from the bed. "If it weren't for you I'd still be in there. This wasn't your fault, it was just an accident."

"I'm so-"

"Don't even say it Pinkie, you're forgiven."

4: Don't Read This One

Pinkie Pie was bouncing, well, bouncing faster than usual, as the carriage pulled through the gate. She was speaking too, but it had turned into a rambling river of words quite some time ago, and the other pony in the car had stopped listening, other than to reply to the countless “thank you’s” still coming.

“Please, Pinkie you need to slow down, you wouldn't want to be exhausted before the festivities even begin,” the other passenger said.

Pinkie stopped in place, several inches above the floor before slowly sinking back into her seat. “You’re right princess! There’s no point going to a late party if I’m already tired! It would be just -”

Luna sighed and returned to looking out the window. Pinkie was talking again, and didn’t seem like she’d be stopping any time soon. Is she always like this? It’s exhausting to just watch her, how does she do it?

Luna watched the buildings of Canterlot skim by outside the window as they were whisked away to their destination. Luna had pulled some strings as a thanks to Pinkie for her recent services in a crisis situation, and both of them were going to be attending Studio 54, one of the most exclusive clubs in the entire city.

Luna hadn’t been yet, but was very much looking forward to it. Since her return as Nightmare Moon and subsequent rescue by the Elements of Harmony she’d been hard at work trying to adapt to the new world and society she found in place of the Equestria she had lost. To date this had had… mixed results. Luckily, after the events of last Nightmare Night she’d made some progress and a delightful discovery. Ponies no longer avoided the night in the ways they had a thousand years ago. In fact, some ponies actually preferred spending time out after dark, and this had lead to a phenomenon she had truly enjoyed “researching” recently. The nightclub.

The princess was very excited for tonight, although she didn’t show it the same way Pinkie did. Tonight would be the first time she’d visited Studio 54, and even better, tonight was the release party for the famous DJ-PON3’s latest album, who had quickly become her favorite musician from recent history. That reminds me, she thought. “Pinkie, I need you to promise me something…”

Pinkie stopped halfway through a word and her head snapped to look at the princess. “Anything!”

“I need you to promise me you won’t interfere with the music. I’m really looking forward to tonight’s performance, and I don’t think either of us want a repeat of the grand galloping gala.”

Pinkie blushed. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she gleefully responded. Luna winced as her companion stuck her hoof directly into her wide open eye.

“Besides, DJ-PON3 is one of my favorites, I’ve got all her music and I’d never try to show her how to do her show or it could just -”

Luna stared in wonder as Pinkie resumed speaking at her superequine speed. The Princess tried to keep up but the speech quickly became white noise.

It wasn’t until the carriage pulled up outside the club that Luna’s calm demeanor started to crack under the pressure of her excitement, and she found herself bouncing alongside Pinkie as the guardpony opened the door, revealing a red carpet leading straight to the gilded doors of Studio 54. Luna cheered as she hopped out of the carriage and practically skipped down the carpet to the door. Two well-groomed stallions in suits threw open the doors for the two of them and Luna stood for a moment to take in the scene.

Circling the room was a raised area with booths, bars, and several restaurants. In the center was a dance floor with a crowd of dancing ponies, and directly across the room from her was the stage, with the DJ’s booth positioned in front of a massive television screen and in the center of an intricate array of speakers. She tried to take in as much of the room as possible, but could feel herself overloading as the strobes flashed, the lasers spun and waved, and the bass throbbed.

The princess cheered loudly as she made her way towards the dance floor.

“That… That did not go as I thought it would,” Luna said as she pulled the blinds down across the windows in the carriage.

Pinkie sat across the carriage from her, looking down at the floor. Not saying a word for what was surely the first time in the night.

Luna looked at her. “Really? No comments?”

Pinkie grinned slightly before looking up to meet Luna’s gaze. “Well, I’m not the one who got up on stage. But I’m also not the one who jumped into the crowd, or started a fire, or knocked over a speaker tower, or -”

“I suppose I owe you an apology,” Luna said, blushing. “This was something you wanted to and I may have ruined it.”

Pinkie started giggling, and then she started laughing until she fell out of her seat. “Oh princess,” she said wiping a tear from her eye, “‘Ruined?” That was hilarious!”

5: A House-guest

“But, why is it in my house?” Rarity asked tiredly.

“Well,” Fluttershy started quietly, hiding behind her hair. “I think he liked the colors of the fabrics.”

Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Keep calm Rarity, it’s just a bird. It can’t be worse than the parasprites. Just be patient with Fluttershy. “Why would he like my fabrics?” she asked without opening her eyes.

“Umm… I think he wants to build a nest.” the pegasus trailed off.

Rarity could feel her heart beat faster. Fluttershy did that when she knew somepony would be angry. That was never a good sign. “He what dear?”

“He, uh, might want to build a nest,” Fluttershy squeaked.

Rarity’s eyes shot open and she stared over her fence and at the boutique. “You mean to tell me,” she started, struggling not to shout, “that there is a bird in my home because it wants my fabric for a nest?”

Fluttershy tried to make herself as small as possible. “Probably.”

Rarity’s nostrils flared. I will not stand idly by while a bird destroys my fabrics. She threw open the gate and started to march across her yard towards the front door. Fluttershy followed close behind her.

“Rarity wait! Don’t scare him!” she pleaded.

“I want it out Fluttershy. I’m going to get rid of it before it causes any more damage than it already has.”

“But–”

“No ‘buts’ Fluttershy. It’s leaving.” Rarity threw open the door. “You listen here!” she called inside, “It’s time you left. There’s plenty of fabric elsewhere! I don’t want to have to…” Rarity trailed off as she turned and caught sight of the invader. Sitting in the corner of her boutique and on top of a pile of brand new reams of cloth was a bird. Rarity had expected that much. She had not been prepared for it to be easily twice her size.

Rarity stared in confusion and the bird stared back. Eventually it flared out its wings and screeched angrily in her direction. Catching sight of talons as long as her foreleg Rarity quickly moved back outside the boutique and slammed the door.

Fluttershy looked timidly up at her as she breathed heavily.

“Fluttershy, dear, what. In Equestria. Was that?” she asked as calmly as she could manage.

“He is a roc,” Fluttershy answered very matter-of-factly.

Rarity now saw that her yard was pockmarked with deep gouges, no doubt a souvenir of the bird’s journey to her home. “A roc… There is a roc in my house.” She turned back to the pegasus. “Why?”

“Well, he liked the fabric and –”

“No, why me? Why, out of all of the homes in town, is it in my home?”

“Well rocs are naturally from the arctic, he must have thought all that cloth looked like it would make a warm nest and then your door was unlocked and –”

“But I’m not the only one with fabric!” Rarity whined, throwing her head back. “Your house is full of wool! You could have knitted the bloody thing a sweater! You could have –” Rarity slowly brought her gaze back down to her friend. “Fluttershy… how did it get into my house?”

Fluttershy looked away.

Rarity’s jaw dropped. “Fluttershy, you didn’t!”

“I– I’m sorry. He just looked so happy seeing the–”

“Fluttershy! No! I’m willing to put up with a parasprite swarm every now and then or the occasional cockatrice attacking my sister, but you never meant for those things to happen! You let a giant bird into my home so that it could steal my fabric! I just bought most of that!”

Fluttershy did her best to turn invisible, but that never actually worked for her.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Rarity slumped to the ground. They both sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the roc rummaging around inside the boutique. “What do I do to get rid of it?” Rarity finally asked.

“Him.” Fluttershy corrected. Rarity glared at her. “Well, we could always just wait for him to pick what he wants…”

“No. Not an option. Not even on the table. Give me something else.”

“Umm… We could try to lure him out with food.”

“What do rocs eat?”

“Sea serpents.”

“Having a sea serpent in my yard and roc in my house sounds like the opposite of a solution.”

“We, um… we could try scaring him out.”

“And how, pray tell, would we do that?”

“Well, a roc’s only natural predator is a dragon.”

“But we– Spike. You’re proposing we use Spike, the Spike that lives in the library, the Spike who makes nachos in a pink apron, the very same Spike who was chased across town by a ferret just last week, to terrify a ten foot bird into leaving my house.”

Fluttershy nodded.

Rarity sighed. “Let’s go find him.”

6: The Ascent

Twilight was running. She’d been running for a while now. It had to be close, they hadn’t walked that far. She could still hear running beside and behind her. Spike was beside her, down on all fours. Behind them was that… thing. The thing from the dark.

“Twilight look!” Spike shouted, his voice echoing off the tunnel walls. “Light up there, that must where we came in!”

Twilight didn’t respond, she just ran faster. Spike was right though. She could see the light up ahead that must be where they’d made their descent. The two of them emerged into the better-lit area and slowed down. They were standing in a very wide circular room that stretched up far above them. Twilight’s head snapped side to side, looking for the section they had used to make their descent. Spike stood up next to her and looked up. Above them he could just barely see the moon, and knew that it was setting. Suddenly a loud scraping came from behind them and he turned, nervously watching the tunnel they’d just come from.

Twilight tried not to notice his height but she could never help herself. He was almost as tall as she was now, with a longer, more athletic form than when they’d first arrived in Ponyville so long ago. They might not be going back. Don’t think that way, she chided herself, you’re going to get out of here, just find the part you climbed down.

She took a deep breath and looked again. There. “Spike, over here!” She cantered towards the portion of the cave wall that was webbed with cracks, divots, and small ledges. She launched herself at the wall, hooking her hooves into the highest crevasses she could reach. Climbing as quickly as she could she felt the wall shake as Spike did the same.

She could still hear it. That horrible scraping, slithering sound. She shuddered and tried to suppress thoughts about its source as she climbed higher. She was maybe fifty feet off of the cave floor when she’d reached a larger ledge. She remembered this, there’d been a few of these large, flat platforms that indicated an older civilization may have carved this out of the mountain. They must have made this to contain that thing, she thought as she pulled herself up onto the platform.

She turned around and pulled Spike up behind her. The two sat, panting heavily for a moment. The climb down had been hard, but not nearly this fast. Spike quickly stood back up and gestured for Twilight to keep climbing.

That was when they heard it. The thing had reached the chamber they were in and let loose a terrifying roar. It sounded like metal grinding on metal. And it sounded angry.

Twilight sprinted along the platform they stood on until she reached another point that appeared climbable and began to scurry up, not daring to look down. It was getting darker. Twilight looked at the moon in desperation but it hadn’t moved at all.

She gulped and slowly turned her head to look back at the thing that was chasing them. The entire floor of the pit was covered in shadow. Twilight could see the darkness slowly creeping up the walls like a fog. She didn’t know what that thing was, or what the darkness that was claiming the chasm was, but she knew she couldn’t let it catch them.

Climbing faster than she ever had Twilight found herself on a second platform. She started to run for the next climbable section but stopped in her tracks. She turned back to the edge she had just crawled over and looked down to find Spike still some distance below.

She called out to him and he grunted in response. She could only watch helplessly as he struggled up the rock face, away from the darkness below. Spike finally pulled himself over the edge, breathing hard. “Shouldn’t… have moved… all those rocks… at the bottom…” he panted.

Twilight looked over the lip at the advancing shadows. “Spike, get close,” she said. “I’m going to try and teleport higher up.” Spike complied, and the two looked up. “I don’t think I can make it to the top, I’m too tired. But about a hundred feet up, does that look like it will be enough room to buy us some time?”

Spike nodded wearily. Twilight screwed her eyes shut and furrowed her brow. Her horn sparkled and the air cracked. There was a blinding flash, and Twilight collapsed. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was definitely higher up. She went to nudge Spike and cheer only to find empty air.

She sat bolt upright. Her heart felt like a jackhammer. “Spike!”

“Down here!” a voice called from the pit. She threw herself at the edge, hanging her head down, searching frantically for the young dragon. He was sprawling on a platform about fifteen feet below her. The magic in the shadows must be interfering with teleportation.

“Spike, just– just hang on!” Twilight frantically searched for a way to get the dragon up to her.

“Twilight?” he called out. “Twilight, just go. You need to stop this thing from getting out. Fly out, and collapse this thing. Bury it down here.”

“I can’t! I’m not leaving you!” Twilight shouted.

“Twi, please. Just–” she wasn’t listening, she was preparing another spell. There was flash and a loud crack and suddenly spike was lying next to her. She fell to the ground next to him, with tears in her eyes.

“I’m not going without you Spike. I don’t even think I’d be able to fly all the way up.”

Spike stared up through the pit at the night sky, so far above them. “So what do we do? We can’t let it reach the top.”

Twilight stood shakily and swallowed hard. “I know,” she whispered, “I’ll have to bury it.”

Spike struggled to his feet and put a claw on her shoulder. He looked into her eyes and spoke firmly. “Do it.”

Twilight screwed her eyes shut again, grunting and straining as her horn began to glow brighter and brighter, bathing the entire pit in a bright red. Spike put an arm around her shoulders as the walls began to tremble.

7: Oops

“How couldTwilight Sparkle be so stupid?” Spike asked incredulously. The five mares with him stood frozen in horror.

Spike sighed and tried to see the scope of the devastation. Sweet Apple Acres stretched to the horizon all around them, but there were no apples to be seen. Instead, there were millions and millions of spiders. And flying around erratically was the purple princess, desperately firing bolts of magic down into the orchard to try and undo what she’d done.

Spike saw Rarity staring at a nearby tree and watched curiously as several small spiders approached one the size of his head. Rarity fainted and he grimaced when it darted forward and devoured them. What was she thinking? How do you even mess up a spell this bad? his thoughts were interrupted when Twilight landed in a heap next to him.

Spike stared expectantly at her as she stood up. “Are they still stuck?” she asked, looking at their friends.

“Rarity fainted, but other than that none of them have moved a muscle since the spiders showed up,” he replied as casually as he could. He watched as Twilight looked left and right at the hopeless amount of spiders she had unleashed on the orchard. “So… What exactly happened Twi? I’ve seen you create some abominations before, like that sentient bird orange, or unleash hordes of tiny creatures to devour the town, but filling Sweet Apple Acres with spiders? This is a step up. You ever consider becoming a supervillain?”

“Spike this is serious.”

“I started serious, that first question was serious.”

Twilight started trotting in place, about to panic. “Umm… I– I think a spider was in my mane, it threw off my focus, so instead of thinking about butterflies for the spell I was–”

“–thinking about, and releasing, spiders. Wow. So what do we do?”

“Ideally?” She thought for a moment, weighing options. “Burn the entire orchard and neighboring farm down.”

“No, that’s just not happening Twi!” Applejack shouted, finally snapping out of her trance at the threat of burning down her home.

“Why not?” Spike asked, “The barn gets rebuilt, like, twice a month. In a good month.”

Applejack glared at him. “The barn yeah, but we can’t go and rebuild the trees. Unless ya can make the trees fireproof, it’s not happening.”

Twilight stopped to think again. “No, too risky.”

Spike giggled at her. “Creating millions of bugs is fine, but fireproofing trees is too risky?”

“I might make the spiders fireproof.”

Spike stifled an even bigger laugh. Applejack looked nervously at the spiders that were quickly covering the trees in webbing. “So uh.. What’s option B?”

“Abandon the farm, and Ponyville. Start new versions a few miles down the train tracks and pretend the old one doesn’t exist.”

“That’s not happening either Twi.”

“Maybe a tornado? Pull them all off the trees and move them out of here.”

“No way!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she jolted back into movement. “What if it broke up? or just scattered them? Besides, what if they start ballooning? Who knows where they would all end up?”

Twilight sat down and thought long and hard. “I could try and use magic to make them want to leave.”

“You mean like you tried with the bats?” Spike asked. “You remember what happened when you tried that? Do you really want to risk turning someone here into a spiderpony? That would somehow be even worse than what we have now.”

Applejack stomped her hoof. “That’s it! The north orchards, the part the bats run so we don’t go there anymore. Can ya send them there?”

Twilight pondered the question and watched one of the larger spiders chasing a smaller one. “I can try to teleport them all there, but I’ve never teleported this many things at once, I don’t know if it would work. I don’t even know how that would work.”

“Just act like you’re teleporting one giant spider that weighs as much as the millions you put here,” Spike offered cheerfully.

“Spike!” Twilight shouted, intending to reprimand him. “That– that might actually work,” she trailed off.

“Well then what are you waiting for!?” Dash demanded, “Pinkie’s still not moving and I’m not even sure if Fluttershy is breathing.”

Twilight nodded and screwed her eyes shut. Her horn began glowing, and soon so did all of the spiders. Spike watched in wonder as her horn’s glow became more and more intense before there was a blinding flash and a deafening crack.

The remaining ponies began to move again and Applejack ran to Rarity. Spike turned to Twilight. “Did it work? Are they all up in the north orchards?”

“I think so Spike.”

Spitfire was flying above the main boulevard in cloudsdale, heading out to lunch at a pizza joint when it happened. She didn’t know it at the time, but that day would go down in history as one of the most bizarre things to ever happen in the city.

Everything began to glow purple and she slowed to a midair halt, looking down at the confused mass of pegasi trying to figure out where the glow was coming from.

That looks like Unicorn magic, she thought, but there aren’t any Unicorns in Cloudsdale that’s just– her thoughts were cut short by the deafening crack that normally accompanied a powerful teleportation spell. She rubbed her eyes and looked down at the no longer glowing streets below her. At first it just looked like the clouds had gotten bigger, and then she saw them. She started to scream, and so did the ponies on the streets and in the buildings. In fact, almost everypony in Cloudsdale started to scream, and most of them wouldn’t stop until the problem was finally solved by the royal guard several hours later.

10: A Night On the Town

Sharp Eyes was not enjoying his night. Granted, he should have seen that coming, he was the one who volunteered for extra duty tonight, and he was the one who had applied to be one of Celestia’s bodyguards. But surely he couldn’t have been expected to anticipate this. When he volunteered for the Royal Guard he was expecting a lot of standing around, paranoia, and trying to watch things without being seen. Tonight, he found himself at a bar.

When he’d reported to Celestia’s private chambers at sundown he had expected to be standing guard in the hallway all night, but as soon as he knocked on the door a white unicorn with a bright pink mane had thrown it open and announced “We’re going out tonight. Leave the armor here.”

Three hours, two bars, and a half dozen mojitos later he was watching her order another. “Cel– er… Sunny? What exactly are we doing again?”

She spun to face him on her stool and nearly fell off. Steadying herself with a hoof she said, “I haven’t had a good chance to unwind since the whole Tirek thing.” Sharp watched nervously as she teetered back and forth for a moment before continuing. “So, I managed to clear my schedule for tomorrow morning, and decided that tonight I was going to go out on the town and have a drink or two. Now, I’ve decided I’m going to have several more. And then perhaps dancing. I like dancing. Have you been to any of the palace’s balls?”

“You had me on security last time.”

“So you didn’t dance?” She sounded very upset. “Not even at the Guard’s Ball?”

He tilted his head to the side and replied, “The Guards don’t have balls.”

Celestia struggled to keep a straight face before breaking into laughter. “You actually said it!” she managed to say between laughs.

Sharp furrowed his brow. Nothing in our training even came close to preparing us for this. I can floor a griffon in two punches. I can search any room in the castle in under a minute. But the princess getting drunk? This never even came up. He watched her down another drink before ordering yet another. Where is it even all going?

He was about to ask her what time she planned to return home when her hoof shot out to silence him. She turned to face him, her hoof still on his lips and stared for a minute. “It’s time to go dancing. Do you know anywhere?”

Sharp tried to open his mouth to speak but she didn’t move her hoof. He shook his head instead.

Celestia sighed, and turned to the bartender, repeating her question. He pointed out the front door at some sort of club just across the street. Her eyes lit up and she practically charged out the door. Sharp sighed, left bits to cover her tab, and trotted out behind her.

It only took ten minutes for Sharp to prove to her that he couldn’t dance, and twenty for her to vomit in a trash can. She lamented having “that last mojito” as Sharp helped her out the front door.

Sharp stopped in front of the club, turning so that she could see the palace in the distance before asking, “So Sunny, where to now?” Please say home, please say home.

“Well…” she thought hard for a few moments. “I guess we could go back to the castle.”

Oh thank you.

Celestia suddenly jumped off his side, standing unsteadily next to him, a very excited look on her face. “OR! Or we could go see Twilight! She’s always fun on nights like this! Have you met Twilight? She’s the purpley one with the horn and the wings and the little dragon. She’s kind of–”

“She was at the palace last week Cele–” Sharp looked at two ponies walking into the club. “er… Sunny... you introduced us.”

Celestia frowned. “Oh. Well, we could still go visit her. It’s always –”

“The trains have stopped running, and you gave the chariot pullers the night off. So we can’t actually go to see her.”

Celestia frowned harder and started to wobble on her feet. Sharp stepped in to support her again as she lost her balance and fell onto his side. “What was I just saying?” she asked looking up at him.

“You were saying it’s time to go home. It’s getting late.”

“But I don’t want to!” she pouted.

“Well that’s what’s happening, so you’re just going to have to deal with it,” he said as sternly as possible. I have never felt less prepared for a situation by our training. He started to walk down the street in the general direction of the palace, making sure the princess didn’t fall on the way.

Celestia was half asleep when they finally walked in through the gates of the palace. Sharp couldn’t quite remember when but she’d dropped her disguise somewhere along the way. Luna was waiting for them in the main hall with two of her night guards.

Sharp looked up at her, trying to appear as apologetic as possible in case this was his fault for letting it happen. Before he could open his mouth to say anything Celestia spoke. “Lulu! You missed it. It was so much fun. We had some mojitos and then we had some more and then we went dancing.”

Luna chuckled and gestured to her sister. “Help her to her room.” The two night guards took her from Sharp’s side without a word and began to lead her to her room.

“Princess I–” Sharp began to explain what had happened.

“She’s a bit of a lightweight isn’t she?” Luna interrupted.

8: The Dance

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

1: Visiting Hours

Pinkie slowly pushed the door open, looking inside at Rainbow Dash. She was lying in the white bed, peacefully as always. Choking back a sob Pinkie slowly tread into the room. She pulled the flowers from the vase and dropped them in the wastebasket by the door before replacing the water from the tap and inserting the new bunch. She sat down in the chair beside the bed as she'd done every day for nearly two months now, and just looked at her.

"Come on Dashie," Pinkie whispered, "please, please, wake up."

Pinkie stared for several minutes, tears slowly filling her eyes. It was no different than it had been every day before, but she still couldn't stop herself from hoping. Leaning forward to rest her hooves on the bed Pinkie let her tears fall. She didn't want to, she never wanted to cry in front of Dash, especially if she actually could hear her. She didn't want her to feel bad while she slept.

After a long time, Pinkie sniffled and looked up. She looked at her friend's peaceful face and thought for the hundredth time /she looks like she's just sleeping./ Pinkie reached her hoof out to caress her spectral mane and fought back another sob.

"Dashie," she slowly began, "I– I don't know if you can hear me. The nurses say you can. If you can please come back. I–" Pinkie tried and failed to stop herself from sobbing again. "I miss you. We all do. And it's all just so different without you here. After the accident they said you would be okay in just a few days, that they could get you better and wake you up. They said" – the tears were streaming freely down her face again – "That you'd be back doing tricks and pranks in no time. But then – but then –" Pinkie broke off and buried her face in the sheets.

"Dashie please!" she pleaded to the unconscious pegasus, "The Wonderbolts need you, your friends need you. I need you." Pinkie wasn't sure what had happened, she never talked like this when she came here. "I just– I just want you back. I want you back so bad that it hurts Dashie. Please. The doctors don't even know what's wrong anymore, they keep telling me that you'll wake up when you're ready! Why can't you be ready?"

Pinkie stopped herself, she sounded like a spoiled kid, making it all about her. Still crying she looked at the pegasus and sat back in her chair.

"I'm sorry." Pinkie whispered looking at the floor, "I'm so sorry Dashie. This isn't about me. Take your time. I'll – I'll be here when you wake up." She barely finished before she burst into tears and threw herself on the comatose mare.

Gripping Rainbow Dash in hug pinkie sobbed into her shoulder for a long time. When she finally stopped she had no idea how much time had passed. She knew the nurses would be upset with her if they caught on the bed again but decided to hold the pegasus for a while longer.

Eventually one of the nurses walked through the hall and peeked inside the room. Pinkie pulled her face away from her lover and looked at her with forlorn-pleading eyes, a tear-stained face, and drooping pink hair. The nurse met Pinkie's eyes and whispered, "I won't tell, but don't let the other nurses catch you Pinkie."

Pinkie smiled a little and thanked her. She waited five more minutes before drying her eyes and Rainbow Dash's shoulder and climbing back down to her chair. She pulled one of the books from the bedside-table drawers, Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone, it was Dashie's favorite, opened it and began reading aloud.

It was getting close to the end of visiting hours as she finished the last chapter, Daring Do had just barely escaped peril, retrieved the treasure and was on her way home. She closed the book and took the other mare's hoof in her own.

"Goodbye Dashie," Pinkie whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." She leaned in and kissed Rainbow Dash's forehead. And she felt a hoof tighten around hers.

9: The Funeral

It was raining the day of the funeral, Rainbow Dash had made sure of it. The rain always made ponies sad, so now even the ones who didn’t know why they were supposed to be sad would be sad. She and her five closest friends in the world stood together, looking down at the hardwood coffin being lowered into the pit.

Someone was standing at a podium and giving a speech to the crowd of ponies sitting in the rows of folding chairs. Most of the town had turned out, and even more came from her family. A lot of ponies would miss Applejack. She looked over her shoulder at the crowd, a sea of ponies, all clad in black.

Rainbow turned back to the coffin, fighting back a sob and tried to focus on what the stallion behind the podium was saying. She couldn’t make out a word, it was as if he was too far away, but she could see him, not twenty feet from where she stood. She tried harder but all she could hear was the relentless pounding of the rain, and Fluttershy and Pinkie quietly crying.

Poor Fluttershy, she thought, I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. They’ve only been together for a few years now. It’s just not fair. It should have been me. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she tried to push the questions and memories out of her mind.

“I’ll be back right quick sugarcube. Ya just be careful ‘till we get back. I love ya.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head and blinked hard. I shouldn’t have even been there. I shouldn’t have heard that, and she shouldn’t have needed to rescue me. It’s not fair.

The stallion was still talking at the podium. She wanted to tell him to shut it, to move on. She wanted to tell them that AJ was mare of few words, that this ceremony isn’t what she would have wanted, she wanted to tell them she was sorry.

She wanted to run. She wanted to go and hide somewhere quiet and peaceful, somewhere away from all of this gray and black and crying where she could just pretend it hadn’t happened. She wanted to tell herself everything would be alright. She almost did. But she would never leave her friends here. Especially not here.

“But what if–”

“I’ll be fine, look, I’ve got Rainbow with me. If anything goes wrong out there we’ll look out for each other.”

“I know it’s just that–”

“I know Shy. I’ll be back right quick–”

“Ms. Dash?”

Rainbow was jolted back into the real world and away from the memories. She looked around, her friends were staring at her, the crowd was staring at her, the pony behind the podium was staring at her. She looked at her friends, now standing on the side of the grave instead of in front of it. Pinkie scooped up a hoofful of dirt and mimed throwing it in.

Dash quickly grabbed her hoofful and tossed it onto the coffin, and whispering a choked apology, though whether to the ponies there or Applejack she wasn’t sure anymore. She moved and stood next to her friends. They watched silently as pony after pony followed and tossed their hooffuls of dirt, saying farewells. For the most part they ignored the five mares and one dragon standing solemnly next to the grave, but many offered their condolences to Fluttershy.

When the ceremony was finally over and Big Macintosh had finished filling in the grave they still stood there. They watched the ponies who had come gather up their chairs and walk away, filing back through the rain to their homes. They stood around Applejack’s final resting place for a long time before someone finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry Fluttershy,” Rainbow said quietly. “I shouldn’t have–”

“No,” came the surprisingly firm reply. “She knew what she was doing. It’s not your fault.”

Tears welled up in Rainbow’s eyes as she tried to say something. She tried to explain how she felt, what had happened. She couldn’t say a word. She hung her head and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely.

Eventually she felt a light wing spread across her shoulders, and looked to the side to find her yellow friend.

“Come on everyone,” Fluttershy said, “let’s go somewhere dry.”

The six friends walked back down the road towards the town, leaving the simple tombstone behind. Rainbow cast one last glance at it’s engraving, to try and memorize it. The stone bore her name, her cutie mark, and then below that “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”