The misadventures of Steelwing

by 8-bit Bacon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance
Length: 3175

3 Royal Guard from Trottingham was tasked to protect the princess protege, undercover

Another "Secret mission" is planned, and Captain Steelwing's one goal is to protect the Princess protege and avoid getting killed, so he plots ways to get out of it, but his schemes always land him back in the to his previous mission. Steelwing is joined by his batman Private Baldrick (Earth Pony) and idealistic twit Lieutenant Bright "Sky" Skies (Pegasus Pony). General Melchett rallies his troops from Canterlot, a thirty-five miles from Ponyville, where he is aided and abetted by his assistant, Captain Shoeshine, pencil-pusher supreme and Steelwing's nemesis.

Published 2012-04-13 14:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-13 14:14:02 UTC

Chapter 1

(A/N: Credits for Bronymaster in editing
and my friends who help me construct this story, which btw done just for fun)

Please enjoy

“Oh no no no no! I’m late at the summer sun celebration.” I said while flying with all my might to get to the Rising Sun platform in Canterlot.

I absolutely had to make before the captain starts roll-call on our names. Oh by Celestia’s name, another 500 laps at the track if I’m late, or worse, he will literally string my neck.

Shoeshine is our captain, and yes that’s his name, literally. We don’t know why his parents name him that. It’s kinda funny when you think about it. A very strict and serious captain, then your name is a kinda wimpy one. There was one time that he made us fly across Equestria for 2 whole days. It all started when this new guy called “Steelwing”, suddenly blurted out loud “Captain Shoeshine” while with his company in the mess hall. Half of the pegasi inside the mess-hall laughed their flanks off. While the other, well, was drained of their colors because they all knew that someone broke the taboo and that it wasn’t gonna go well for their company.

And what happened to Steelwing? Well here I am, now an official member of the royal guards. I was new back then, and none of them told me about that taboo. I was a laughing stock for one whole month, and I got the corporal punishment along with my nickname. Well, that was my past as a cadet.

So now, I barely reached the end of the line of my journey with a few seconds to spare. I was hovering above the Canterlot courtyard and looking for a pegasus, more specifically, Captain Shoeshine.

Seeing that the area was clear, I swooped down like a bird hunting prey, looking for an empty spot to land on. Lucky me, I saw this spot near a light blue pegasus. After landing, I felt a light tap on my right wing.

“Not now, I was almost late and I don’t want to get caught by the captain.”

“Ahem” he replied.

Hmm... that sound seems familiar, now where did I heard that before?

Then I look in front of me, and there’s the light blue pegasus looking at me with a giant grin on his face. He mimicked some words using his lips, but the only thing I understand was-

“Good luck” which I said out loud.

Oh bucking apples, please not be Shoeshine, please not be Shoeshine...

I look back and I almost shout “Shoeshine!” but I instantly block my mouth with my hooves.

“Steelwing sir, reporting for duty” I said with a quivering voice and a salute.

He just stood there, glaring at me for what felt like an eternity. Cold sweat running at my back and forehead, shivering legs. Then all of the sudden, there’s the sounding of a trumpet. It’s a signal that Princess Celestia will raise the sun to mark the start of Summer season.

He looked up in the sky, then back to me and said, “Report at my office at 0900” Then he left without another word.

“I told you he was behind you.” Said the light-blue pegasus.

“But the only thing I understood was Good Luck”

“Well too bad for you.”

“Meh” I said while turning my head to have a good look at him.

“Anyway, the name’s Bright Skies, but my friends call me Sky” while gesturing for a hoof shake.

“Steelwing” I replied while shaking his hoof.

We talk about a lot of things while we're on our break. He was a city boy, and used to be in the weather control team in Manehattan before he joined the Royal Guards. I was amazed when he told me that he was scouted by the Wonderbolts.

“Really? You were scouted by the Wonderbolts or are you just pulling my leg?”

“Spitfire came to the weather control office and she suddenly looks for me. I guess she saw me doing some free-flying stunt that I always do above Manehattan. I rejected the offer Spitfire gave me, though.”

“Why reject the offer?”

“I hate crowds, because they make me somewhat uneasy.” he replied in a gloomy tone.

“Hate to break it to you, but aren’t the Royal Guards a crowded place too, especially the barracks and mess-hall?”

“Well, technically yes, but they tend to keep to themselves and their group. I’ve had enough of the city noise.”

I looked up in the sky, thinking why a good or rather once-in-a-lifetime offer to become famous was rejected without thinking twice about it. It’s not like I care about fame (I was born in a noble family) but I always left the house and live in the countryside. Well I guess we share the same traits. Eh.

“Well, it’s time to end our conversation. I need to report to the Captain and I hope I ain’t gonna be chewed out.” I sighed

“I’ll come too. I was also called by the captain”

“Then come along with me, we’ll talk on the way”

Now this time, we talk about my life’s story. It’s fair enough that he always talk about himself, at least he has a cheerful and carefree personality, which makes it easier to talk to him.

“So, where ya from?” he asked gleefully.

“I was born to a noble family in Trottingham” I replied.

“No way! You’re from the House of Steelwing? The only house that produces top notch generals?” he asked with a starry eyed expression.

“Yes”

“Wow, I now have a friend from a noble house which I admired.”

I was flattered and at the same time sad. I was the black sheep in the family. My father always told me to train harder not only in Combat, but tactics, because he knew that one day, I’ll be the one who will carry our family name.

“Dude, you okay?” he asked.

I was taken aback, because he was already in front of me, looking very close to my face.

“Sorry, I thinking.” I replied.

“Ok, if you say so. Anyways we're here”

He knocked three times before we enter. Once inside, Sky noticed the white unicorn with blond mane and a Open scroll and quill as her cutie mark. Sky leans towards me and whispered.

“Dibs on the unicorn” then dashed off towards the unicorn. I followed him while smiling, because I know what the outcome of any flirting with her would be.

“Hey sexy” he said, in his smoothest voice possible.

I almost burst into laugh. Good thing the discipline training pays off.

“You know, I can treat you to a very romantic dinner with candle lights and-” he was stop by the unicorn, who shut his mouth with magic.

“Dude, I’m a stallion and if you’re looking for a mare, try the medic corps” said the unicorn in a deep voice while chuckling.

I burst into laughter which roared inside the office. Sky came back to me and smiled sheepishly.
I already knew about the unicorn because I, too, was captivated by his looks. He was a Androgynous unicorn, a stallion with a characteristic of a mare. (Not gay, just a pretty boy)

“Aw, don’t be sad. Just take HIS advice and find some girl in the medic corps” I said while still chuckling.

“And I thought I got a new hot date with a mare.” he sighed.

“So, what can I do for you boys?”

“Where here to see the captain”

“Okay” replied the unicorn.

He took out the intercom and placed his hoof on the button

“Captain, 1st Lieutenant Steelwing and Private Bright Skies want to see you, sir.”

“Let them in.” the captain replied through the intercom.

We enter the Captain’s private chamber. Everything was huge starting from the giant globe to giant mirrors and even a giant pile of books. Then I saw the captain standing in front of the window, looking at the cadets training in the field. Without looking at us he commanded us.

“At ease”

“Now, you’re wondering why I called you here, right?”

“Yes, sir” we said in unison.

Please be R&R, Please be R&R... or much better, put me in another company just to get away from you.

Suddenly, Shoeshine glared at me.

“As much as it pains me to say this, Steelwing, you are promoted to Captain and will receive your first mission as a captain today.” he said reluctantly.

Wow, this is much better than R&R. I knew my hard work would pay off, but I didn’t expect the mission. They could’ve given me a promotion AND R&R

“And you, Private will accompany Steelwing on this mission” he continued as he return to his desk.

Both Sky and I look at each other and smiled. It’s like we read each other’s mind.

“General Melchett will be here at any moment. When he arrives, leave the talking to me, alright?”

Both I and Sky nod.

“I would like to keep this informal, but today, you must only speak with my express permission. Is that clear?”

We don’t know what to say. He didn’t give any permission for us to speak.

“Is that clear?” the Captain asked again.

“Permission to speak.” he added.

“Yes sir, absolutely sir” we both replied in unison.

“Atten-TION”

We all stand and to turn and salute the general.

“Excellent, at ease” said the General, whom happens to be my uncle too.

Then the general came at me.

“By gum! Steelwing, how are you?”
I was waiting for the Captain’s permission, so I didn’t instantly reply.

“I’d say son, how are you?”

“Permission to speak.” said the captain.

“Absolutely, Top pulse with a ying and a yang and a yibidi doo” I replied boisterously.

(Quick Author’s note: think of them speaking in a British accent, since they came from Trottingham)

“Splendid! And your aunt sends her regards. I told her you can have a week off. We don’t want you missing the boat race do we?”

“Permission to speak” expressed the captain again.

“Certainly not” then I leaned towards the captain “Permission to sing boisterously sir?”

“If you must.” he hesitantly replied.

Both me and the general sing:

Row, row, row your punt
gently down the stream
Belt off, trousers down
isn’t life a scream?! OY!

“Fabulous. University education; you can’t beat it!” The captain said sarcastically.

“Well now” the general gave me a tap on the side and he turn towards Sky to speak to him.

“What do we have here? Name?” he asked sky.

“Permission to speak”

“Bright Skies, sir”

“Ah, tally-ho, yippety-dip and zing zang spillip! Looking forward to bullying off for the final chukka?”

“Permission to speak”

Sky still looking at the general and didn’t answer.

“Answer the general Bright Skies”

“I can’t answer him, sir, I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

I was keeping my laugh in check, then I look at the captain, he was doing those mental facepalm expression.

“Ha Ha! Are you looking forward to the big BUSH?” the general said again.

“No sir, I’m absolutely terrified” Sky replied with an honest and innocent face.

I was on the verge of dying by suppressed laugh. This is gold! you’ll never get to experience this moment for a very long, long time. My eyes were watery, my cheeks are flaming red and hurts too. Even the most Trained Royal Guard will laugh at this. Sky didn’t get the meaning of what the general said. I guess I’m gonna explain it to him later.

“Hmmmm.. the healthy humour of the honest tommy. Ha Ha!” replied the general with a smile.

“Sir, the mission?” captain whispered to the general.

“Ah yes, this is a tip-top secret mission that only you two, must know” he paused for a while and continued.

“This mission was a request from Princess Celestia. She wants you two to guard her protégé”

“What’s the name of the package?” I asked

“The name is Twilight Sparkle. We don’t have a picture to give you, because I don’t want any spies to get their hands on her.”

“So when will we start?” Sky asked.

“You’ll start immediately, I already made arrangement on your departure to Ponyville”

Then he looked at me.

“I know you have a history in Ponyville, but don’t let them know why you’re there. Just tell them that you’ve been given a 6-month R&R because of your exemplary behavior here in the Hoofcamp.”

“Once on the station, find the brown earth pony named ‘Baldrick’ and he will give you, your allowance and more info about the mission. From there, you’ll start a new undercover life in Ponyville; don’t fail me now captain.”

“You can count on us sir!” I excitedly replied.

Chapter 2

(A/N: again, credits to Bronymaster for editing and ideas to my friends)

Please enjoy

“Well, where the bucking apples is that ‘Baldrick’ which the general speaks off?” I sighed while looking for the specific earth pony in the crowded station. I already ordered Sky to search from the sky, while I search from the ground. I may be a pegasus, but flying around metropolis isn’t my thing.

Out of the sea of crowds, there’s this light blue pegasus walking with a brown earth pony wearing glasses. Assuming that these are the ponies I was looking for, I met them halfway of their journey.

“Private Baldrick reporting for duty, sir!” he barked at me as I stood in front of him. Everypony in the immediate vicinity started looking at us with mixed expression. I, not wanting to attract more attention, drag him to a nearby alley with Sky following us.

“Where did you see Private Baldrick?” I ask Sky

“In one of the pubs downtown.” he replied while keeping a vigilant watch on the alley.

“So Private Baldrick, I suppose you’re going to give me what I want?”

“Alright sir!” he gave me a letter which he took out of his saddlebag.

“And one more thing, sir. I was reassigned to your mission, sir.”

I kept the letter inside my saddlebag “Alright, you two listen” I looked at them both in turn, making sure they were paying attention. “We will be doing an undercover mission, and I don’t want you two blowing our cover.” I look at both of them intently, just to show how serious I am about the mission.

“Oh sweet! 6 month R & R!” Sky chimed in.

I looked at Baldrick to see if he got my point. He nods, and assuming that he understood the importance of our mission, I told them to start packing up so we can head off to Ponyville.

We reach station, pay for our ticket and got on the train. We got this pretty spacious private room. Sky suddenly barged in and jumped on the couch “My, this couch is comfortable. Unlike those in the barracks. Those couches were stiff as a board.” He said while changing his sitting position about every 5 seconds.

Then Baldrick came in second. He was quiet when he entered, seemingly observing every nook and cranny of the room. After half a minute of observing, he sits besides Sky, whom is still changing his position upon the couch.

I knew this would be a very long and boring journey, so I decided to reread all the info and objectives on my journal about 5 times. As I read the name ‘Twilight Sparkle’ I remembered something that I couldn’t quite put my hoof on.

Twilight Sparkle, I do know I heard the name “Sparkle” somewhere. I’ve got a feeling that this will lead to a bad start, but I need more info-”

My train of thought was interrupted by Baldrick, who was tapping my side. I was annoyed, I don’t like it when someone interrupts me while I’m thinking.

“What is it?” i ask in both angry and annoyed tone of voice

“It’s your turn now, sir” said Baldrick.

“For what?” I ask him back while maintaining my posture. it’s no use getting angry at my two subordinates.

“Alright, again. I spy, with my little eye, something” Sky was looking around the room to find that something. It was pretty obvious that he stopped to look at a mug for 2 seconds. Then he finished his question. “beginning with M.”

I did a facehoof, to my dismay. Then, suddenly, Baldrick tries to answer the ‘I spy’ question of Sky.

“m-m-ma-ma-” he was stuttering, and Sky tried to help by gesturing his head towards the mug. To no avail, he took the cup and placed it between them, still helping Baldrick to finish his word.

Me, not wanting to keeps this stupid charade forever, i shouted “MUUUGGGG” at the very top of my lungs. The two of them were surprised by my sudden outburst, though Sky was smiling and Baldrick still had this neutral expression.

“I’d say, well done sir. Your turn.” he praised my sudden outburst of an answer. Thinking about the train, I say “I spy with my bored little eye, something beginning with T.”

“Breakfast” Baldrick answered without hesitation.

“What?” I ask in confusion.

“My breakfast always begins with Tea, then I have a little dandelion sandwich, then a pancake with honey.” he answered while daydreaming about that breakfast.

“Baldrick, when I said it begins with ‘T’, I was talking about a letter.” I replied with great annoyance.

“Naaww, it never begins with a letter. The mailpony don’t come till 10:30.” he replied with the same expression as before.

I closed my journal out of frustration and looked at Sky. “Sky, take over. I cannot cope with this.” I stand up, to get out of the room filled with the air of stupidity.

“Ok, sir. Now I spy with my little eye something beginning with R.” Sky asked another question.

With raised hoof Baldrick answers “Army.”

“For Celestia’s sake Baldrick, the Army starts with an A.” Then I pointed at Sky. “He thought of something that starts with an R; rrrrr” I tried pronouncing the letter R so Baldrick could get the idea of what I said.

“Cat!” he exclaimed as he stood up.

“Wha- What?”

“A cat starts with a ‘purr’.”

“Alright! Alright!” I was trying to interrupt him on his mimicking of sounds.

“My turn again. What begins with ‘Come here’ and ends in ‘Ow’?”

“I don’t know.” answered Baldrick.

“Come here” then I punch the sense out of him in the face. “Ow!” yelp Baldrick before he was knocked unconscious.

“Well done.”

Sky, seeing my frustration and anger, kept quiet in his seat and tended to the unconscious Baldrick. It was my very first time that my anger gone out of control because of their stupidity. I used to laugh at stupidity, but now my anger got the better of me. I do feel bad about hitting Baldrick, but it was the only way to stop the senseless game. I’ll try to apologize once he wakes up.