Pledging Your Pie

by ValdimarGreen

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Maud Pie, Sex, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 1531

It's time for Maud Pie to tie the knot and do her part to expand the Pie family, or so her father believes. With rising panic, Maud watches her marriage being arranged. Was this really happening?

It's time for Maud Pie to tie the knot and do her part to expand the Pie family, or so her father believes. With rising panic, Maud watches her marriage being arranged. Was this really happening?

Wait... Did this get featured while I slept? ...no way.

Published 2014-08-01 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-04 22:04:00 UTC

Chapter 1, Stupidity

Pledging Your Pie

by Valdimar Green

Sitting in his the kitchen, Pickaxe waited for the sun to rise, so he could finally get to work. He glowered at his plate of hay and apple slices. He disliked eating early in the morning, but the Goddess herself had her breakfast right before raising the sun. Not joining her with their own breakfast at the same time would be sacrilege, or at least in his mind, it would.

He glanced to his left, his wife Garnet Beatrice Pie, who was eating in silence. Her mouth moved mechanically, her mind was somewhere else, considering prices and inventory. His gaze moved over to his right, to the four empty spots where his daughters should be seated. Or three of them at least, Pinkie Pie hadn’t shared breakfast with them for almost 5 years now.

He grunted, “Where is Inkie and Blinkie?”

His wife chewed unhurriedly and swallowed before replying, “They are picking up Maud at the trainstation. She will be back today, remember?”

Pickaxe grunted again, then his mouth quirked in a tiny smile. His eldest daughter had taken her rocktorate in rock science the day before and was now coming home. She had grown up so fast... she probably knew even more about rocks now than he did. He couldn't wait to show her the two new additions to his sedimentary rock collection.

His wife smiled a bit when she saw him smile. “How do you think she will react our idea?”

Pickaxe smile turned into a firm expression. “She will abide by our decision and do what is best for the family. I will bet my right hoof on it.”

“Please don’t, we both know what happens you try to gamble.” she said flatly.

He frowned at his wife. “It’s hardly gambling if I’m completely sure she will agree.”

“Agree to what?” came a monotone voice from the doorway. Maud Pie, the eldest daughter of the Pie family, entered the kitchen. Her face was locked in her customary emotionless expression. Though, Pickaxe could see her curiosity in the way she blinked, the lids closing just a tad faster than normal.

He exchanged a quick glance with his wife, before looking back to Maud. “You are early, Daughter.” Maud only shrugged in response. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, when Maud got like this, there was no stopping her. If she had one flaw, it was that monstrous curiosity of hers. “Your mother and I, think its time you got married.” he said simply.

Maud’s eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch, For her it was a reaction of epic proportions. Any other pony would probably have stood frozen in slack jawed amazement. Maud blinked slowly a couple of times, trying to compose herself. Pickaxe waited patiently. Finally she seemed to get her emotions under control and she went over and joined him at the kitchen table.

“Why?” she asked, in her normal monotone voice.

“You mother and I won’t be around forever. As our oldest daughter, it’s your duty to carry on the Pie name. However, raising foals can be hard, so you should do so while your Mother and I are still around to help you,” he replied.

Maud shifted ever so slightly in her seat, something that outside their family would have gone completely unnoticed. But in that movement, Pickaxe could see that his daughter was extremely uncomfortable.

“Come now,” Garnet interjected briskly “There is nothing to be embarrassed about, everypony does it. I remember the time your father and I made you. True, I whimpered a bit in the beginning but then...”

“Mom!” Maud groaned in a slightly louder voice than normal.

Pickaxe eyed at his daughter with interest, she had covered her eyes with a foreleg and… wait, was she blushing? He had never seen her do that before. He cleared his throat. “In any case… Maud, do you have any stallions in mind?”

His eldest daughter opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a sound from the doorway. “What about the stallion who sells tools in town!?” Blinkie asked as she entered the kitchen, followed by her twin sister Inkie.

“Tool Shed?” Inkie asked, frowning at Blinkie’s back. “Sis would break him like a twig.”

Blinkie rounded on her twin sister, “Would not.”

“Would too,” Inkie countered, before glancing at Maud, “Right sis? You would break him like a twig, right?”

“That’s enough you two!” Garnet snapped. “Sit down and be quiet.”

Sounding sheepish, Inkie and Blinkie replied, “Yes Mother.”

Having dealt with the twins before their argument spin out of control, Garnet turned her attention to her husband. “Inkie and Blinkie makes a good point. Maud needs a stallion that can handle her. It won’t do to have her break him on the wedding night.”

Inkie started giggling and was soon followed by Blinkie. Except for that faint blush, Maud’s face was a frozen mask, giving nothing away.

Pickaxe frowned at the twins, this was no laughing matter. Celestia had blessed his eldest daughter with enough strength to crush diamonds with her bare hooves. It was an incredible and dangerous gift. He had always believed that the goddess must have some great purpose planned for her in the future. But for now, it was a serious concern, since it most likely would make it really hard to find a good match for her.

He turned to Maud, “So what you need is a very strong and well built earth pony. A pony that could handle a rock farm. ” Pickaxe scratched at his chin with a hoof. “So it would be good if he already had experience with farming of some sort.” He turned to his wife who had been observing in silence. “Garnet, what do you think? Do you know of any stallions like that around these parts?”

“No I don’t think so...” she replied slowly. “Or at least no one who is still a bachelor.”

Maud blinked.

Garnet’s eyes focused on her eldest daughter, “Did you just think of somepony?”

“No,” Maud replied in her usual monotone voice. But no matter how good her pokerface was, she couldn't hide the sweat drop sliding down from behind her ear.

“Don’t lie to me, young lady. Now spit it out,” Garnet commanded.

Maud glanced at her sisters and at her father, probably hoping for support. When none was forthcoming, she looked down at the table and murmured. “Pinkie Pie’s friend runs an apple farm... There was a red stallion working there…”

Outside the sun crested the horizon, and filled the dimm kitchen with light. Pickaxe stood up, “Excellent, we will go and meet with his family tomorrow.” He moved his right forehoof in a circular motion over his chest and intoned.” Celestia warm us and light our path.” His family did the same, except for Maud who was just staring at the table.

**********

After entering her room, Maud closed door with a rear hoof and then simply stood there with her eyes closed. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I say that? I’m so stupid... stupid, stupid, stupid. She needed to vent, or at least she thought that she needed to. She had never done it before, but she had seen Pinkie’s friend Rainbow Dash do it.

She stepped over to one of the thick oak beams that connected the floor with the celier. Standing up and grabbing it with her forehooves, she slammed her forehead into the solid wood. STUPID! The beam shook, releasing a smattering of dust from the ceiling. She slammed her forehead forward again. STUPID! The beam cracked, small oak slivers spun through the air. STUPID! The third strike of her forehead against it, caused the heavy beam to explode in a shower of splinters and broken wood. Throughout the house, the other beams groaned as their burden increased.

Maud blinked at the shattered beam. Damn it… That hadn't happened when Rainbow Dash had done it. Why is this happening to me? I’m not ready for a relationship! The entire house groaned as if in sympathy. Is father really expecting me to go along with this? The groan of the house turned into a shriek. Mauds ears perked up in alarm, and she hurriedly placed a forehoof on each broken end of the beam and pushed gently. The house went silent. Great... now she had to stand here and literally prevent the roof from falling in. Her day just kept getting better.

Father, Inkie and Blinkie would be out in the fields all day, and Mother had gone into town to buy food and a new hinges. Maud would be stuck here all day.

Just because Maud didn’t express her emotions, didn’t mean that she didn’t feel them. And right now her emotions were a jumble she couldn't even begin to unravel. Fear bordering on terror, frustration, uncertainty and helplessness all fought for her attention. But below them all, there was a feeling she couldn't quite put a name too, as if she had swallowed a thousand butterflies.

She closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer to Celestia. What do I do?