What's this? An unguarded story? Oh this is just Simply Wounderful!

by Discorded Q

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Other, Comedy
Length: 2538

What's this? An unguarded story? Oh this is just Simply Wounderful!

GUYS HELP! DSCHORD HAES HESCKEF MY ADCCKBnT ANE IS NJEIW BFBG JH<JDIY F qihof e K #*OP O:k

o[uujlK Q#]

rcdytufvib gonhpjm#Q@%$ W^VT*N7tb9iuhjlk

* jowm * * hiwk s

qihnkdsm thja I habve thaht out of the way...

Weirdly long title? Check!
Amazing self portrait? Excellent!
Desperate plead from the Author? All there!
Incorrect image source? Favor done!
Strange description? Oui, siÃ±or!
Out of order chapters? All good.
Inaccurate, conflicting story tags? Accurate!

Seems like you're in for a strange story lads, with slow updates and Silly variations in short and long chapters, welcome to my story of chaos... Do enjoy your cage!

Published 2012-04-20 22:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-24 08:59:11 UTC

Certainly not that ONE Prologue

"Well, well, well, now that I have that out of the way." The God-king of Equestria and everything else declared as the description vanished from his view, "I have to say, checklists are one of the most boring things I have ever done, but they do help to pull off a plan!" The God-king of Equestria and everything else then laughed at the irony, "Imagine that! The God of chaos using a device to keep an order to something! Now that doesn't make any sense!"
"Yew wont git awai with dis Diskord!" Cel- no, the sad excuse for a protector exclaimed from behind her magically enhanced cage. "Jus wate for mai stuednt to git hare!"
"Do you realize how ridiculous you sound Celestia?" The God-king of Equestria and everything else said as he rose from his throne. He glided down to his captives, "'You won't get away with this Discord!' 'Just wait until my student gets here!'" He repeated with sarcastic mirth. He slid his talon across the bars of her cage, making dinging sounds of different pitches. He then was struck with a brilliant idea, he continued with his previous statement, "Your voice is just far to squeaky and high pitched to be taken seriously."
"Wut arr u talkn abowt?" The sad excuse for a protector responded with the most delightfully cute and squeaky voice. She then heard her own voice and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

The God-king of Equestria and everything else laughed with the most tremendous laugh accompanied with some lightning without noise, "OH! It's good to have the roll of Author! Everything just goes your way!
"Wut doo yew meen?" The sad excuse for a protector asked with her squeaky voice.
"Just look Celestia! I mean, the original so-called 'Great and powerful' creator has had his powers drained and stolen from him!" The sad excuse for a protector turned her head towards where The God-king of Equestria and everything else's talon pointed. What she saw baffled her pitiful mind, in a cage much like her own there was one of her ponies, except he was devoid of all his color and sat in the corner with a lifeless expression, and a bipedal fur-less diamond dog looking creature, what he was doing, or more like trying to do, baffled her even more so. He was slouching over a piece of parchment with a pen, struggling to even barely write a single word. His face was strained with a painful grimace as the pen he was holding shook with anger, he then looked up and reacquainted his view with his surroundings, he then locked eyes with the sorry excuse for a protectors eyes and then towards The God-king of Equestria and everything else's. His face distorted with a pure anger and he rushed at the bars. The bars made a delightful dinging sound as his hands connected with them, he then attempted a threat, "You won't- You! Away... This! Act! of... Evil! Get... FUCK!" He then punched at the bars over and over, only ever making two separate dinging sounds. Then the grey scale unicorn he shared the cage with came up behind him, reared on his back legs, and made his forelegs come crashing down on the angry creature. He then rolled the thing over and proceeded to repeatedly punch the creature's stomach, after the seventh or ninth punch he then bent down and yelled into the creature's ear.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRYING TO THINK!" He then went back to his corner and sat down, and resumed his deadpan expression. The creature writhed around in the floor of the cage where the pony left him. He coughed and sputtered, "Q-quillo... Why?" The creature looked back towards the paper on the floor, he rolled onto his stomach and crawled his way to it, the blood streaking out of his mouth making a line of red to his destination, "Must... Right... Make..." he proceeded to pick the pencil up with his hands a returned to straining to write a single word.

The sad excuse for a protector had a tear rolling down her pristine pink cheek, oh yeah, Celestia is also pink now! "You know Celestia, that pony in the corner's, or Quillo's, whole existence was due to that human he just beat up," The God-king of Equestria and everything else noted, "It's delightful at how easy it is for the same soul to be turned on one another. This was the first time they ever met you know? Simply wonderful that they have to spend the next eternity within eachother's company."

"You... Discord... Style... Forget that... My... ARGH!" The human raged as he returned to trying to write anything.

I have always wondered what those are FOUR.

and covered you nose with you hands, attempting to stop the blood flow. Although the blood has stopped flowing out of your nose, the flow has been redirected to your mouth. The blood overwhelmed your senses and made you quite sick. About to throw up you turned away from your monochromatic pillow and went over to the bars, you gripped the bars and made a chord of dings, the sound of puke riddled through the halls.

"Augh! You humans are disgustingly bad at holding your stomach." Discord complained, "It's going to take Luna forever to wipe it up."

"Loonah? Wut deed yoo doo wit loonuh?"

"I dunno," Discord shrugged, "see for yourself. Oh Lulu!" Discord called.

"Yes? My leige?" Came the voice of Celestia's sister. The tall dark equine princess appeared around the corner. Discord smiled, she continued, "What is it you have called me for?"

"She is now my submissive maid, I stole her rebellious nature, she's mine to do what ever I want with."

Celestia took in her sister's appearance, she had her colors drained from dark blue to dark gray and her mane ceased to flow and was a light grey in lieu of light blue. She wore a small enticing french maid's outfit. You're thinking about her now aren't you? Well too bad, she only listens to me. So ha.

"Lulu, our new guest choked on his own blood and vomited outside his cage, be a darl' and clean it up will you?"

Luna nodded, "As you wish my thane."

"At this rate I should call her Housecarl... or Lydia." Luna bent down to clean up the mess with her hooves, she had no intention to keep herself private...

Your thinking about her again aren't you, too bad she is over there and you're knocked out in your cage.
"Yoo munstr!"

"No Celestia, I'm a draconequus."

I wonder what those SIX are up to?

"Now now, Lulu... No need for crying here!" Discord clenched his talon and the Chaos energy dissipated along with the crying image of Princess Luna. As soon as the orb vanished the monochromatic maid snapped to attention and the tear down her cheek vanished.

Discord looked over his 'guests', plainly said, he got bored. "Man, Sillystia! How do you do it? You must be one of the most boring ponies in this forsaken land!" Discord slouched in his chair, "The throne job is soo boring!" Discord groaned... Then, in a stroke of genius, an upside down candle appeared above his head and set him on fire. The blaze lasted for not a minute, then nothing but ash was left where he once sat. It was clear to his guests that he had just killed himself. Alas, such hopes can perish as his lion paw grabbed onto the side of the throne. Discord's body, however, appeared on the other side of the throne with a laugh he stepped out from behind it.

As the rest of his body paced in one direction his arms hovered in the exact opposite. His lion paw and talon made themselves into a pensive position with the paw as a fist aiming upwards and levitated steadily as his head slouched down slightly. "Well... It's clear that you lot have to be the most boring bunch of souls I have ever met..." His legs then detached from his body and walked over to stand underneath his floating arms, "It's obvious that I must find other sources of entertainment!" He exclaimed as his legs and arms walked and floated in his direction, yet his body floated in the other, bobbing up and down in pensive pacing.

Discord's body reached the other side of the dias at the same time that his limbs did the other side, however, his body stopped but his disconnected limbs kept walking. They walked into the wall and appeared to have passed through it, only for them to reappear on the side that Discord is on. He turned to face his audience of a maid, Celetifart, the grey pony, the 'author' and you. His limbs reattached to his body and his talon pointed towards his audience. "Have fun dying of boredom in those cages! I'm going to go out and find some more victims of my chaos! Talliho!" He snapped the fingers of his lion paw and they disappeared in a flash of light...

Discord's body floated in mid air, his limbs just disappeared... "Some of the times!" He exclaimed as he dived into the floor.

Author's Note

Oddly enough, where he landed was covered in yellow! In this place however, he seems disconnected to the story.

Almost as though he is in limbo between the current reader and the story...

"Wait... Damnit, this isn't where I'm supposed to be!" Discord looked around sheepishly... "So the notes section is underneath Celestia's chair? Huh... who knew?"

"Welp!" He looked around again as he pulled out a pair of aviators from his hand-tardis and placed them on his snout covering his golden and red eyes, "Might as well have some fun here before I decide to write again!"

setting Fire to hIVEs

After Luna had cleaned up the mess and I bothered to continue writing, she eagerly awaited the next command of her master.

"Oh lulu, go sit next to your 'sister' I'm sure she'd love some company!"

Luna complied, she moved her way to the multicolored cage that held her older sister as sat next to her. Celestia examined her sister and attempted to snap her out of her monochromatic state.

"Luna!" She yelled with her delightfully squeaky voice, "Luna, snap out of it! Come back to me Luna!"

"Shh, I won't be able to hear his next command if you keep yelling." The sun's sister simply said.

Discord laughed, practically swimming in the chaos flowing from the royal pony sisters, "Oh, Celestia," he laughed, "You mean, this Luna?" Chaos energy surrounded the draconequus' talon as he thrusted it out in front of him. Within the ball of chaotic energy lies the transparent face of the former sun monarch's sister. The face caught sight of her sister. It tried to reach out to her, unfortunately, it was just a face. It looked towards the Luna sitting next to the cage, a single tear escaped down the face of the captive princess and promptly down the face of the servant maid.

"Simply said Celestia, you lose." Discord smiled devilishly over his victory. Chaos was simply reigning over everything, and discord is winning.

Nothing can stop him now.

Am I missing a wall? One, two, THREE, ah here it is!

Incorrect chapter break: √

"...This must've confused you right?" Discord asked you, "Oh what am I saying, I don't need your input, you are the reader after all."

4th wall broken

"There we go, now I just need to reach out and grab you!" Discord moved his talon toward the screen and eased through it, he grabbed you by the shoulder and dragged you through your device, he held you up in front of him, "Wonderful! At this rate, all my jail cells would be full!"

You attempted to voice your thoughts before he cut you off, "I'll just put you in with the authors! How deliciously evil!" He thew you towards the pony and human. You hit the ground hard and landed next to the monochromatic equine. You turned your head around and saw me attempting to write words. You tried to comfort me but I was too focused on the page in front of me to notice you. Before you could say anything else Discord appeared next to the cage you were trapped in. "Wait, wait. I can't let you in there like that!" He reached through the bars and grabbed onto your head with his talon, he began to squeeze and dig his talons into your mind, you could feel his magic work around your undefended brain, twisting and removing something you hold dear, your imagination. Just as he removed is talon you felt drained, the world around you seemed so dull. He moved back and showed you his claw, what he held was a colorful ball, it was a portal ball of sorts, you could look through it and see into another world. You could see all the things you enjoy, your friends, some of your enemies, and the one you care about, they were against the wall of the ball, they had their hands on it and they were looking towards you, they looked worried and sad, the one you loved was in front of them and they all mouthed the words "Don't go..."...

Not that you cared, you don't need them, you're in a cage, no, you're in a mansion, a ginormous mansion with tons of diamonds, the greatest form of jewels are all yours, everything you ever wanted is there with you. You looked to your left and saw that your loved one was there cuddling you, looking at you, you were happy, your lips were about to connect with theirs and...

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

The yell of the monochromatic pony snapped you out of your stupor followed by the grey hoof that broke your nose, you hunched over

You don't know what you have gotten yourself in 2

Discord turned back from watching the cage to Celestia, "Well well well, Celestia, Your so called magnificent author lost his power, his position AND his friend!"
"Ur horybal," Celestia stated.
"You mispronounced hilarious!" Discord exclaimed, Discord smiled a wicked smile full of fangs. Celestia was shut down, she had NO reply and so she stayed QUIET. You got that Celestia?
"You really are annoying," Discord continued, "Especially with that squeaky voice you have."
Discord turned to look out his magnificent window, he stared upon his world of chaos. Everything was falling to place, the 6 pests were out on a wild goose chase searching for their respective elements, even though they were with them, what better place to hide them then with themselves, of course they would never know it, it's all simply delightful. "Hmm..." Discord wondered to himself, "The authors' cage seems a bit too big for one two creatures don't you think Celestia?"

"Wut do u meen?"

Discord smiled as he looked towards the screen, "Well, it seems I might need a small chapter this time round... But anyway..."