The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King

Chapters

1) Hail the King
2) Hunk of Burning Love
3) Love Me Tender
4) Cry Me a River
5) There's Tears in My Ears
6) Devil in Disguise
7) Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes
8) Jailhouse Rock
9) Heartbreak Hotel
10) Burning Love
11) Suspicious Minds
12) Return To Sender
13) Hard Headed Woman
14) Love Me Tender
15) Party
16) New Guardian, With Peanut Gallery
17) Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear
18) In the Ghetto
19) Don't Be Cruel
20) All Shook Up
21) How Great Thou Art
22) Dainty Little Moonbeams
23) There Is So Much World to See

1) Hail the King

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Hail the King by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer at the end.

The warehouse in Baltimare was ordinary, even prosaic. That was intentional. The collection of unicorns had assembled, with many earth ponies and pegasi to support them. Even a thestral, diamond dog, and a griffon here and there among the crowd. All of them Newfoals, and all of them came as close to hating their new condition as their condition allowed. They meant to do something about it, again as much as their condition allowed. Many had been shocked that much of the 'knowledge' and 'practices' of magic that had been so much falderal on Earth, had real and substantial power and effect in Equestria. Circles and sigils and candles, crystals and spices and metals, singing in foreign tongues and sky-clad dances and invocations to ancient names all had increased the power of the spell far beyond what any mere unicorn could accomplish. And the might of dozens had been melded into one.

Tonight the powers that be of Equestria would understand that their power was not absolute. They would understand that power molded itself to the hand that wielded it. They would understand that humanity would not be ground under the hoof of a conqueror. And they would live in fear of what next their inducted foes would hurl against them.

That the Newfoals would be detected was not a worry for them. After all, the Equestrians knew any magic the Newfoals learned would have to be of Equestrian basis. They knew Newfoals couldn't really do anyone any harm, that part of them had been excised. They knew human religions were all lies so they couldn't possibly call on any old powers. The Newfoals assumed when they were arrested, it would be time in a 'reeducation camp' for each and every one of them. They would endure, because that was all they were capable of now. They couldn't be angry at the mistreatment they received every day, they couldn't take up arms against their masters, and they couldn't feel fury at what had been taken from them and every other Newfoal who had survived the Conversion, and every human who hadn't.

They had decided on one name, one force, one entity. It was one known worldwide, but not really worshiped by any human nation, tribe or culture. The original suggestion had been flippant, a joke that failed or a snarker pointing out the inherent impossibility of what they were doing. But it had the right feel to it. The Equestrians would treat it as a joke, would ignore the danger until it was too late. It would be perfect.

Twilight Sparkle had arrived with a detachment of Royal Guards almost the instant she'd detected the spell casting. That the spell was over and was winging its way across Equestria was lost on her. The Newfoals were laughing and dancing, like the children she knew they were. Twilight regarded most Newfoals as she had the Cutie Mark Crusaders: full of weird ideas and never sure of their place. That so few had cutie marks she suspected was why they never grew up. Princess Celestia had engineered their change and had assured all that Newfoals were incapable of violence, or even anger. While it irritated Twilight that many took advantage of the Newfoals because of this, Princess Celestia had reminded her that they were not her problem.

Still, she thought, This was a massive spell. All that magical energy had to have gone someplace.

She looked at the paraphernalia assembled and shook her head at the Newfoals and their crazy ideas of how magic worked. Yet she couldn't shake a nagging suspicion that somewhere amid all this nonsense was something that might actually be real. She made a note to investigate this during the interrogations, but that would be for later.

I'll send the Princesses a letter in the morning, she thought, Then we can question them. They can't have done something really important. But that magic had to go somewhere.

She rolled her eyes as the Newfoals began arguing. An officer had asked what they had done. Now they argued, like polite, little foals, over the correct pronunciation of the thing. Neither name told her anything, and she'd studied all their so-called religions. That was no god I ever heard of, she thought.

I am awake. It is hardly the most shocking revelation on its face. But moments ago, there had been no me. Now there was, and I am awake. Ten thousand faces blur through my memories, ten thousand lives lived in my past. Different skin tones, eye color, gender, and skill sets. But all are me. There are no gaps, no flaws in my personality. All the disparate pieces flow over and around each other. There is a blending beyond the Equestrians and their talk of Harmony.

Now a flash of anger. A soldier dying to protect a child, only to have the child convert and kill him. A young mother ripped from her family by an auto accident by the death of a driver killed by an Equestrian. Faces burned as they were shoved into the Barrier by laughing ponies. Thousands more, but over in an instant. I pause, as if waiting for the legion cry for vengeance, but nothing comes. With the unification came the desire for no more bloodshed, no more needless sacrifice, only a desire for a new life, a new home for those few who have retained even a shred of their humanity.

I open my eyes, and regard the sea. Its depths where the ponies will not come. Its darkness that even the Princesses fear. Its cold, deep embrace that nothing in Equestria understands and fewer still can survive.

Knowledge of Equestria also comes. Knowledge of their society, its customs and hierarchy. Its prejudices and its follies. And one fact known yet ignored by all. Lips skin back from teeth as the thought comes, Vengeance will be mine. I will enact a vengeance on Equestria beyond anything they could ever hope to achieve. Not by slaughter, at least not on my end, but by highlighting their lies. By doing what they never did. By proving how humanity conquers, not by the sword and slaughter, as the Equestrians do, but by out-thinking, and forming communities. By defeating a foe on their own ground, by their own rules.

I will destroy you, by being all that you claim but aren't, and by being better than you.

My destination is set, and I find travel automatic. In my myriad lifetimes, there is an archeologist. That is what I shall do, along with engineers and simple plumbers and ditch diggers, I will lay the foundation for the destruction of the ponies. Using what they cast aside and never took up again. Recycling. I enjoy the irony.

In one of the tents where interro - interviews were being held, another 'interviewer' heard the same story repeated, and began to wonder if the Newfoals had gone insane, or had she? "A character from a movie?" Sunset Shimmer asked the grinning Newfoal who nodded enthusiastically.

I know Princess Sparkle has a sense of humor, but this is beyond absurd, she thought as she made sure she hadn't misspelled any words or misused any punctuation on the report she would file with the princess. The princess had a bad tendency to focus on that to the detriment of the subject at hand. I still can't imagine how the twit beat me.

"You may return to your cell," she told the Newfoal and signaled the next to remain where he was. She trotted over to the main table, where several other 'interviewers' must have gotten the same story. The princess was becoming frazzled at their reports, never a good sign.

"I have three interrogations," Sunset Shimmer said as she added her folders to a growing pile which probably all pointed in the same direction, "All of them told the same thing. So unless they rehearsed their answers, I think we have a good idea what they were trying to do."

"A movie character?" one of the interrogators said and snorted, "What was it supposed to do, turn sideway and cut us all up?"

"Maybe it was supposed to scare us into turning them back into humans," another, a brassy mare, said and chuckled.

"This is asinine even for Newfoals," another from the capital's intelligence division said, "Ugly fella in any case. Of course it has to walk like them. Stupid Newfoals."

"And I was worried they'd actually done something," the princess said. She stared at the drawing, turning it this way and that. "Discord is scary. Tirek is scary. This thing looks like an oversized, misshapen duck. A plucked one at that."

The team chuckled at the princess' joke, because the boss' jokes were always funny.

The wave that crashed against the wall of ice had no witnesses, and no victims. Nothing lived here. Even the Windingos, who were responsible for the ice, were long gone. Despite the temperate clime, the pleasant winds, and the seas teaming with fish and sea life, nothing lived on land.

His head broke the surface and surveyed the ice cliffs that towered over even his substantial height. The arms were shorter than a human's, and the long tail would not aid in climbing this mountain of ice. The claws would carve through the ice easily enough. But within were cities, towns, roads, aqueducts, the lost art and science of three entire civilizations. And they would be humanity's blood price for what the ponies had done to them.

But the summit would be safe to start. A quick survey of memories: climatologist, archeologist, engineers, and a woman who'd lived her entire life in the snows confirmed what the gestalt had already surmised. A bastion of ice that had withstood a millennium of the Tyrant Sun would fall in minutes to the new god, the new king that strode Equestria's broad expanse.

Let the others know me, I thought, Let them leave me and my people be, or live in dread. I was forged of mankind's darkest fears. Empowered by his most fearsome weapons. The only one who ever beat me is dust and shadows, if he ever existed at all. Let the ponies know a true nightmare walks their world. Let them know their powers are my bread and butter. Let them know that all they have wronged will be avenged.

The great, plate-like, dorsal fins along my back and tail began to glow blue. The fire in my heart roared. And for a moment, the sun had not an equal, but a superior.

My Little Ponies is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

2) Hunk of Burning Love

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Hunk of Burning Love by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Ponies is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Rainbow Dash didn't know why everyone was so excited. Newfoals were always doing stupid things. Of course, they're probably pranking Princess Sparkle, she thought as she flew high over the ocean carrying nothing but a water bottle and a camera. She chuckled as she remembered Twilight's reaction that this mysterious something was in the vicinity of the ancient pony homeland. And that she couldn't do the investigating. Rainbow nearly giggled at the memory of 'overexcited Twilight' trying to fly.

The long flight had tired her out, and she knew there'd be few places to land once she arrived. But I figure I can . . . what is that? she thought as she banked slightly. The path cloven through the miles-high ice was straight as a ruler, and wide enough you could have sailed Ponyville through it without scraping the walls.

"Oh, wow," she said. Impressed by something not airborne.

A few miles in, she saw it. That thing looks like Twilight studying something, she thought of the massive creature carefully carving ice away from a building. A torrent of melt water ran down the ice-free path and several dozen buildings were clear of ice and snow, but the creature caught her eye. Not as long as some dragons, but burlier. It had no wings, and it seemed to be happily wagging its tail as it worked at freeing another building by removing the ice from the area around the building. She remembered her mission and unslung the camera. She took several shots, of the creature working, of the creature ignoring her, and of the huge building it was digging out of the ice.

That's pony property, she thought as she watched, No monster has a right to go poking around in there. She lined up down the long, ice-free corridor, and charged at her best speed. I'll show that thing who's in charge here.

She bounced off and staggered through the air. The creature completely ignored her. It kept wagging it's tail and working on the building. Well, I know how to get its attention, she thought as she maneuvered to give it a buck in the face.

She never saw the tail sweep in behind her. After it hit, she could only hear her own screaming because the sound conducted through her bones. Sky and sea tumbled over and over as she sailed through the air. The sky growing dark, the air growing cold and it getting hard to breathe as she tried to get her flight under control. Once she got her tumbling stopped, she spotted the lights of a city far below her, so she dove for it before the lack of breathable air knocked her out.

As her descent accelerated, she began realizing that her wings were not in the best condition to control her flight.

Princess Cadence had not expected the arrival of one of Twilight's friends through two walls and halfway through the boardroom table where the monthly budget meeting was being held. The rather battered pegasus waved a hoof as she dropped the rest of the way through the destroyed table and terrified crystal ponies ran in all directions.

"Hey Cadenza, wha'chu you doing in Los Pegasus?" the addled Rainbow asked her.

"Rainbow, this is the Crystal Empire," she told her and signaled for the guard to fetch the medics.

"Wow, I bet nopony ever flew that fast before," Rainbow said and looked around, "You don't see a camera do you?"

Cadence didn't have a chance to answer before Rainbow passed out.

Rainbow facehoofed and leaned forward in her hospital bed as Applejack started laughing. Not just at her awful drawing of super-lizard, but her story as a whole. The trip from the Crystal Empire's hospital to Ponyville General had been bad enough. A week unconscious in traction and another two with nothing to do but read hadn't improved her mood.

"Y'all had one job, Rainbow," Applejack said between hoots of laughter, "And ya couldn't do it."

"I didn't expect it to hit me with its tail!" she countered, then glanced at a throughly disgusted/frustrated Twilight.

The newest princess was facehoofing and shaking her head. Rainbow wasn't sure what she was mumbling, but it didn't sound happy.

Rainbow returned her gaze to Applejack, who looked ready to bust a gut to keep from laughing more. "Sugarcube, the blimp that went looking for you, no carved trail, no giant monster, no nothin'. You sure you didn't just git lost? And a little fib ta cover it?" Applejack lost it at that point.

Rainbow grumped. "I know what I saw! A giant lizard carving buildings out of the ice . . . " Rainbow's voice faded as both Applejack and Twilight's silent laughter drove home how absurd it sounded.

"Rainbow." Snerk. "The spell was." Giggle. "Supposed to make a spirit of vengeance." Snort. "Not a sandcastle monster." Twilight fell over laughing.

"I know what I saw," Rainbow folded her arms over her chest and grumped. She made the mistake of looking at the drawing and felt even more depressed. "Okay, maybe my drawing is that awful."

Celestia listened to the report. Fortunately, Discord had 'turned down his volume' when he'd entered the throne room unbidden, to listen to the report from the blimp captain.

"No Highnesses," the pegasus said as she stood at attention, ignoring the gawking nobles, and the draconequus looking like a snake being fried in a pan. "There was no evidence of a trench, nor of the buildings being exposed."

"Thank you," Celestia said, and glared at Discord. "Do you have anything to add?"

Discord straightened up, put on a professor's mortarboard and began discussing. After a few moments, he turned a knob on his chest. "Sorry, had the volume off. Don't you see? This is all a prank. They can't get mad, so they get funny. A big spell to attract Princeless Spackle's attention, which she'd report to you, and then the gigantic lizard hunt. And all of you going more and more crazy the less and less you find." Discord wiped away a tear. "True artistry. The very Zen of the Prank. The less they do, the more hilarious it gets. You'll all go nuts searching for something that isn't there."

"So you're saying there's nothing to this?" Celestia asked.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Discord said.

"It is not like you to ruin someone else's joke," Princess Luna said from her place next to Celestia.

"Oh, I haven't ruined anything," Discord said, "I don't expect you to believe me. The very fact I told you how the joke works, ensures you'll just stumble into it further." Discord smiled. "Well, I have to give the news to Spackle that Rainbow Crash is pulling her leg. Sheer brilliance sending the prankster of the group to get evidence. Brilliance." Discord tied himself into a granny knot and vanished.

Celestia let out a frustrated snort. "Do we believe him that there is nothing?" she asked, "Or do we assume there is something and he's trying to mislead us?"

"Only one scout found anything, and Rainbow lost the camera and its pictures. There are no dreams in the area, so I don't know what better than hooves on the ground could tell you," Luna said.

"Even if it is there, what terrible vengeance could it be, to excavating ancient buildings?" Celestia asked, "Why not march on Canterlot and sweep the Royal Guard aside?"

"It would face us," Luna pointed out.

Both alicorns nodded.

Stupid arrogance, I thought as I glanced up at the hastily placed 'camouflage nets' over the town. Great sheets cut out of the ice and positioned over the excavation and the tunnel mouth. Thick enough that even the investigation by ponies, who seemed to spook at anything, hadn't broken through. Their spells also failed to penetrate deeply enough to find me.

That, and I'm the same temperature as the air in here, I thought as I looked over my handiwork. Enough buildings excavated that several thousand people could be housed. The port facilities weren't back in working order, nor were the fishing boats or cannery, but the building and equipment were there for people to make a start. The piece of me that were Third Worlders saw opulence, while the First Worlders complained of the lack of 'proper' amenities. The entire disagreement amused me. It told me that the people would survive. Harder on some than on others, but they would survive to establish a foothold.

That's what matters. Humanity will survive, I thought as I carefully walked the track back to the underwater gap in the glacier. The ground here was pressed down under my tremendous weight. Another reason I stayed to the various 'Godzilla highways' that would also continue channeling the melt run off out of the city.

Entering the sea felt vaguely like being welcomed into the home of an old friend. I swam easily, my weight buoyed up by the water. Only the vast tail moved as the rest of me rested. Speed was not paramount, but I had it in spades. My knowledge of the coastline told me where it would be most efficient to land, but I wanted to avoid the 'screaming people and destroyed cities' cliche.

I remembered the infamous 'Godzilla vs. Hedorah/Smog Monster' scene and wondered if I could actually fly in that manner. It would save time. And it would be screamingly funny, I thought and resolved to test it as soon as I made landfall away from any major sites of habitation.

Fish and other sea creatures scattered at my approach, but I felt no urge of hunger, nor had I felt a need for sleep or all but the briefest rests. The place seemed to provide me with all the sustenance and healing I required. Like a plant with water and sunlight, I guess I don't need anything else, I thought and considered several thought experiments to perform on the long hours before I made land fall.

3) Love Me Tender

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Love Me Tender by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Ponies is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Making landfall south of Smokey Mountain put me a long way from Los Pegasus. But Canterlot or specifically, the Canterhorn was my aim. I'd spent several weeks getting things ready, hiding myself and my intentions. Now is the time to advertise, I thought as I watched the effect of my approach. I'd slowed my speed dramatically, and rose slowly out of the sea. The surge was only a few feet, and I advanced inland with no casualties. The sound of wood scraping across sand caught my attention.

I turned very carefully, and saw the dory with the lights at the bow and stern aimed down to attract fish, and the little colt in the middle of the boat staring at me. I checked myself carefully, and found the fish hooks caught on my hip. Pulling them out proved beyond my dexterity. Instead, I snapped the line and proceeded forward leaving the colt and boat behind. No terrified scream followed me. I looked at the bright moon light and wondered how long my luck would last.

Conflict will come, but the ponies will have not a leg to stand on claiming I either provoked or escalated it, I thought as I advanced through the woods with the Unicorn Range in the distance. I walked softly, and tried to keep an eye out for villages, homes and even occupied carts as I walked. The ponies will panic enough once they spot me, I thought, Better it happens farther inland. The closer I can get to my goal before they start throwing bodies at me, the better.

But one set of eyes had already seen him, and she was desperately spreading the alarm.

Luna woke Celestia out of a sound sleep. "Discord lied," Luna paused, "Of course he did, but Celestia, there is a giant lizard, and it is headed this way!" Luna blurted out to the sleepy Solar Diarch.

"Wha?" Celestia said, and Luna repeated herself, careful to annunciate each word clearly.

"I've called out the Guard, and sent the Wonderbolts to investigate. It seems to be avoiding any settlements, but it will be in sight by morning, and here by midday at the latest," Luna said. She stepped back, allowing her sister a chance to analyze the situation.

"Have one of the Wonderbolts hang back, I want to know what it does when they attack," Celestia said.

Luna stared. "Perhaps I have not made clear how immense this creature is."

"The Wonderbolts will attack it, and I want to know what it does," Celestia repeated.

Luna nodded, leaving Celestia's chambers and moved off to give the orders. I'm sending those foals to their deaths, she thought as she sent one of her thestral Night Guard to take the order to carry out an attack on something that dwarfed most dragons. She idly considered that the thestral she'd chosen was a Newfoal. She looked around her guards, and noted the few Newfoals among them were actually excited by the news spreading through the darkened capital.

They know, she realized and pointed at several of them.

"Come with me, I want to know what this creature can do. Stories, legends, myths, anything to give us a clue," she ordered.

"Unless you have a giant butterfly handy," one eager, coltish guard said, "You're going to need an Oxygen Destroyer."

"What in the name of Harmony is an Oxygen Destroyer?" she asked.

Luna turned a very pale shade of teal when the guard told her. She was very glad they had destroyed the ability of humans to feel anger when they had converted them to ponies. She couldn't conceive of a more horrific weapon.

"And it's better if you use it underwater. If you use it on land, you'll turn an entire city-sized patch into a ghost town," another guard offered, "Then fifty years later, the Destroyah will be born."

Luna almost didn't want to hear. From her 'eye' of the moon, she watched the creature pick its way forward. She wondered what hope they had against it. Then she watched it emit a long flame from its mouth and its bulk lifted from the ground.

"Tell me everything," she told them.

I picked myself up off the ground and ruefully looked at the rather mashed terrain where I'd landed. Well, it's good to know. Rocket-zilla sort of works, I thought as I tried to decide if a powered jump and a less than soft landing were worth it. Keep your options open. There's also the need for lessons that will let the Newfoals know they have something to offer me. Give them a sense of power when dealing with me.

The butter-yellow pegasus arrowing toward me told me that trouble was finally showing its head.

Fluttershy let her bat friends lead her towards the 'living mountain'. She'd heard the earthquake and now she saw they had exaggerated not one bit. Her terror grew, until the creature stopped, and seemed to be waiting for her. At least it's not a dragon, she thought, then she gathered her courage and approached.

"Uh, excuse me," she said, and shied as the creature regarded her.

She took a deep breath. "Uh, if it's not too much trouble, would you be able to head out around Saddle Lake. I'm afraid you're shaking things up. I know you don't really want to scare anypony, so would you mind going around?" She smiled to the creature.

It pointed towards Canterlot in the distance.

"Oh, the lake isn't that big, you can get around it to Canterlot," she assured it, "But you might want to keep your distance if you don't want to scare anypony important."

He nodded his agreement and headed towards Saddle Lake, rather than heading towards Ponyville, and scaring everypony and possibly shaking up the dam outside of town.

The creature's odd gait reminded Fluttershy of something. Then she heard the footfalls. They were far softer than they should have been. She smiled. What a thoughtful monster.

I continue using the 'mine-walker' pace of keeping my weight on my back foot and advancing my unladen foot, then putting my weight on it. It slowed my approach, but 'slow' still exceeded 30 mph/48 kph. That put my arrival at the Canterhorn at an hour before dawn.

My foot encountered something, and I bent down to get a better look at it. Something screamed over my head like a swarm of artillery shells. I straightened up to glance around, looking for the guns. Only to have the same sound scream by in front of me. I looked around and tried to see the guns.

Unable to find the artillery, I continued my advance although I hastened my steps. Ducking occasionally to see where the shots were coming from. Did she lead me into some kind of ambush? I wondered as I continued to advance. It bothered me no end that I could be under this kind of fire and still be unable to see the muzzle flashes in the darkness.

Long-range rockets? They could fire them from Canterlot and they'd burn out before I spotted them, I thought as I raised up to peer into the darkness to see them. Nothing, this is weird.

Fleetfoot's jaw had dropped so much, she was afraid it would detach and fall off. Eleven passes her fellow Wonderbolts had made. As if some instinct, and senses keener than a pony's, warned it and it had deftly dodged their every attack. A counterattack never came.

She turned to the thestral Night Guard. "Take what we've seen to the Princess. It is advancing on Canterlot, and there seems nothing we can do to stop it."

"What would happen if you actually had hit it all those times?" the guard asked.

When Fleetfoot glared, the guard took off into the night. A high, wingover pass sailed directly over the creature's head as it stooped, as if to look across the face of Saddle Lake. Fleetfoot sighed, torn between joining her friends in this ridiculous dance, or staying back as ordered, to pray it continued to take no offensive action.

She looked at the lake and an idea occurred to her. Let's see what this thing's character really is. She stripped off her blue Wonderbolt's uniform, swung wide around the creature and dove into the lake.

Ah screaming, it couldn't last, I thought as I advanced. I could easily pick out the source of the splashing, someone in the lake. This is going to move me into Gamera territory dammit. But much of the gestalt would not permit a call for help to go unheeded. I frankly agreed.

Dipping both massive hands in the lake, the struggling pegasus, and a fair amount of lake water was transferred on shore and set down on the bank. I stepped over the pegasus and wished there was someone to contact to get the pony some help. With artillery whizzing around like angry gnats, opening the distance seemed the best policy.

Canterlot was still a distance away, and I wanted to be on my way back 'home' before daybreak. The panic I'd cause on being seen would help no one.

Soarin' landed near Fleetfoot who was staring at the monster who still bobbed and wove like a master to keep away from the other Wonderbolts.

"Are you insane?" Soarin' asked.

"He saved me," she said quietly, "He didn't have to, he didn't hesitate, and he didn't have to be so careful. He just did it."

"Well I can tell you what Spitfire is going to do if you don't get back in the air and track that thing. It's less than an hour from Canterlot, and who knows what it's going to do there."

"I don't think it means to hurt anypony," Fleetfoot said.

Soarin' shook his head. "It's a little big for a first date, isn't it." Her glare sent Soarin' scurrying off into the sky.

Angrily, Fleetfoot snorted. It could have hurt me, and it didn't. It could have ignored me, and it didn't. What is it, and what does it want?

She shook out her wings and clumsily clawed her way into the air to follow it. She could see that Canterlot was preparing its defenses. The great dome shield formed over the city, but in Celestia's colors rather than Shining Armor's. If she thinks that'll stop it, Fleetfoot shook her head and chuckled as she fell into formation as the Wonderbolts quit trying to dive-attack the thing and just followed it.

4) Cry Me a River

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Cry Me a River by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Ponies is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The city of Canterlot lay glowing under the great semispherical shield. That suits me fine, I thought, Shields work both ways, and can keep things in as well as keep them out. Less I can accidently step on.

The lanes and avenues leading up to and surrounding the base of the mountain were empty. Either from the earliness of the hour, or a determined evacuation. Either one left the path empty for my approach to the base of the mountain. All good. Better to get in, and get out of here.

Celestia stood with Luna, her ministers and generals atop the ramparts of Canterlot's great gates. She exulted as the creature approached and showed no attempt to climb the mountain and gain access to the city. "It knows that it cannot penetrate our defenses."

Celestia frowned as Discord appeared beside the two Pony Sisters. "Feeling a little shell shocked?" he asked, and recoiled from Luna's haggard and hunted expression. "I see you heard all about him." Discord giggled and rubbed his hands together. "Did anyone tell you what a good burrower he is?"

"How do you know that?" Luna demanded as she turned to face Discord.

"Oh, I had them screen a film festival for me before the end. I actually think the Rhomboid Burr version was quite respectful," Discord said and put a pipe in his mouth.

Celestia glared at Discord blowing bubbles. "What did you say about him being a burrower?"

"Well, there were some arguments about it. But he wasn't really a burrower, but she definitely was. Hmm." Discord paused and scratched his chin. "Never thought of that. I guess Twillg Squarkle will have to get some ooze to test if he's a he, a she, or a them." He shrugged. "But in the meantime."

Canterlot shook gently beneath them. Celestia's eyes went wide as all the others began looking at the ground and pavement beneath them.

"You didn't armor the floor. Now, did you?" Discord asked. His laughter at the Diarchs' horrified expressions grated, as the feeling of stone being ground away vibrated under their hooves. "Maybe you can surrender."

The message cut into the mountain in letters nearly as tall as I was, was simple. 'No kill I'. Both a request not to waste time and resources attempting to kill me, and a promise I won't start the killing, I thought, Then what will cause consternation. I began carving, 'A new human homeland. Leave from Los Pegasus.' I carved a date three month's in the future. Enough time to sell businesses, say good-byes and buy supplies. Then I signed my name in Japanese Hiragana. I sighed and under it I added 'a.k.a. Godzilla'. I'd almost written 'nee Godzilla' but that would have been too obscure a joke.

I stood, stretched and proceeded to head away from the city. The farther I got before sunrise, the better off everyone would be. I could move a lot faster since I had my previous footsteps to use to retrace my steps. Unless some moron climbed down inside them to examine them. But I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

I was deep in thought about what would happen if more than the few thousand I planned on decided to emigrate, when some idiot shot me in the head. I ignored it, despite the power of the spell bolt. I had discovered that while I consumed radiation, magic here was essentially radiation. So some Duffus has basically assaulted me with cake. What was Voltaire's prayer? 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' Seems I got my prayer answered too.

The second shot was just irritating. Somebody had too much time on their hands, hooves, whatever. I turned back to see just who was shooting, and a third shot in the face made it clear someone needed a lesson in the difference between being unwilling to hurt someone, and being unwilling to defend yourself. Hit the person, allow yourself to be hit, or take the stick away.

The shiny shield was impressive, but I could probably blast through it. That would send entirely the wrong message. And I didn't want them to know about my trump card just yet, I thought and looked over the defenses again, But you let all the water run out. Someone flunked 'Siege 101'. If you have an impenetrable defense, you don't make holes in it.

One of the cascades of water was easy enough for me to reach the outlet of, and conveniently near the palace and all those guards in their Corinthian helmets and hasta spears. Ye gods. I walked over towards it and saw a huge collections of peacocks in pony form. All those majestic ponies trying to look fierce and resolute in their baroque, bemedalled armor. I recognized Celestia, and Luna. Discord was the only one who seemed to be taking me seriously. Odd, the mightiest among them was the more concerned.

He's smarter than I gave him credit for, I thought. I took a deep breath.

"My shield will hold, even against his breath. Even a dozen dragons could not broach our defenses," Celestia informed her ministers and generals who watched the creature approach. She glared at Luna who seemed to want to take cover behind a merlon. Discord had a foot-and-a-half thick slab of metal armor in front of himself, clearly labeled as 'Plot Armor', and was cowering behind it.

"I don't think you can be sure of that," Discord said.

"I can," Celestia said and looked at the stupid animal looking for a way in.

"Like your solar beam was supposed to kill him? All three times?" Discord asked and began stuffing cotton in his ears.

Celestia glared at him and looked out at the pathetic beast who seemed so fascinated by the waterfall.

Another thing about super shields, you really should make them sound dampers, Right up against the opening, I let off a full-throated roar that went on, and on and on. The cascade vaporized, filling Fortress Snowglobe with fog. I saw the shockwave race out of the cascade's aqueduct and rebound repeatedly off the shield. I saw all those proud, pony soldiers drop to the ground clutching their ears, and I saw the Princess Luna faint and Discord's shield wall melt and the cotton he'd stuffed in his ears blow out so Her Solar Highness wound up wearing the earwax-laden, smoldering cotton mass draped over her head.

Said Diarch stood straight and tall, glaring at me the entire time, while her mane and tail whipped in the resulting wind driven by my continuing roar. After a long interval, I stopped. I heard the roar echoing off the mountains in the distance. I was rather surprised I could hear anything at all after that outpouring of noise.

The echoes still rang within their fishbowl, although the shockwaves in the foggy air were fading, and Celestia was taking my defiance very personally it seemed. It'll be a lot worse when she realizes I blew her entire mane and tail off, I thought, Too bad for her.

I turned back and walked toward the sea, using my old footsteps as a guide. No one was investigating the foot prints. The sun didn't seem to be rising, I wonder why? So I had more time in the darkness to get back to the coast and 'home'.

Discord plunged his still smoldering ears in the stream of water that was refilling the aqueduct, creating a greater depth of steam in the vicinity. He glanced at Celestia, giving the hairy eyeball to the creature slowly retreating into the darkness. He held his ears near his mouth. "Testing one, fish, electroplate, testing one, fish, electroplate." He shrugged and placed his ears back on.

"Sister! Your mane!" Luna cried.

"Doesn't Celestia continuing to stare make her look ferocious?" Discord asked.

"Sister! Your tail!" Luna shouted.

"Doesn't Celestia continuing to stare make her look ferocious?" Discord shouted.

"What?" Luna asked, putting a hoof to her ear, "I can't hear you."

"Thought so," Discord whispered, and waved a paw in front of Celestia. When she didn't react, he poked her in the shoulder. When she fell over, Discord shrugged and told Luna, "Thought so."

"What?" Luna shouted.

"Oh, that joke is going to get old real quick," Discord said.

5) There's Tears in My Ears

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
There's Tears in My Ears by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Ponies is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

"So what did the Princess' letter say?" Rarity asked as she stared at the badly delayed sunrise. The Mane Six rode aboard the Friendship Express on a special mission to Canterlot.

"That a horrible monster attacked Canterlot," Twilight said, "And the Princesses want us in Canterlot. They are even calling in Cadence and Shining Armor."

"Oh no!" Fluttershy exclaimed, "I hope the horrible monster didn't hurt him."

"Who? My brother?" Twilight asked.

"Well, that too, but the nice gentleman I met this morning. Some of my animal friends were nervous about him, so I went out to talk with him." She hid her face in her mane. "He was very polite and accommodating."

Twilight stared at her in confusion.

"Aw, just let me at it! I'll take care of it," Rainbow said, then winced as she moved her wings.

"Maybe if they fired you out of Pinkie's cannon," Twilight said.

"Ready whenever you are," Pinkie offered as she wheeled her cannon into sight.

Rainbow, Twilight and Rarity facehoofed. Twilight looked over to Applejack who stared out the window towards Canterlot through a large pair of binoculars.

"Applejack?" Twilight asked.

Applejack sat back with a thoughtful expression. "Twi?" Applejack asked as they approached Canterlot. "Why'd they translate it 'Godzilla'? Technically, it would be Gojira, although the j is close to a dz sound, and the r is somewhere between our r and l sounds so why . . . ?" Applejack noted Twilight's amazed stare. "Well boy howdy don't mah mouth jist go runnin' off t'all over the place." She grinned nervously at Twilight.

"Thought so," Twilight said.

"I for one am impressed by the bold lines, and the strikingly good penmanship," Rarity added as she looked through Applejack's binoculars at the message, "I wonder, without the Elements, what does the Princess expect us to do?"

"We'll find out when we get there," Twilight said.

Luna spotted the Mane 6 as they entered the castle proper. "TWILIGHT SPARKLE," Luna said, pinning their ears back and sending the ponies slowly sliding back across the polished marble floor, "I AM VERY GLAD YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WERE ABLE TO COME SO QUICKLY."

"I thought we cured her of that," Rarity whispered to Twilight as she scrambled for grip, but kept smiling at the princess.

"THE MONSTER'S ATTACK WAS FEROCIOUS, ALTHOUGH FORTUNATELY, NONE WERE SERIOUSLY HARMED," Luna told them.

"Night Light," Discord said happily. Luna and Twilight glowered at him. "And you, the cute, accident-prone one," Discord said as he patted Rainbow on the head. Rainbow bit him. Discord took a deep breath and 'blew', a bubble traveled down his bitten arm. Rainbow's wings suddenly inflated until they burst their casts.

Rainbow fluttered her balloon-like wings and looked confused at the lack of pain that had been part of her wings since her earlier encounter with the monster. She released Discord's arm, and started to thank him. Instead, an odd drone came out of her mouth as her wings deflated to normal.

She glared at Discord who laughed uproariously.

"WE APOLOGIZE FOR DISCORD'S ANTICS," Luna said, "HE DRAWS THE MOST PERVERSE PLEASURE FROM THE CONTEST BETWEEN MY DEAR SISTER AND THIS BLASPHEMOUS MONSTER."

"Yer Highness," Applejack began.

"YES APPLEJACK?" Luna said, and sent Applejack sliding back several feet.

"What's with the Royal Canterlot Voice?" Applejack asked.

"EXCUSE ME?" Luna asked.

"What's with the Royal Canterlot Voice?" Applejack shouted.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, MY EARS ARE RINGING FROM THE FIRST BATTLE," Luna shouted.

"That explains it," Applejack said.

"WHERE'S PRINCESS CELESTIA?" Twilight asked, then glanced around, "When in Roam."

The sea's cold, supporting embrace surrounded me. The few pony ships that had tried to pursue me were lost as I dove deep and outpaced them. I vaguely wondered what would happen if I led the ponies to the work I'd done. But I discarded the thought. What I'm making is for the humans. If they decide the ponies need that refuge as well, it will be their decision, not mine.

I continued on, observing the natural magical radiation surrounding me, and wondering what next the ponies would do. I hardly need to 'eat' anymore, the three high-powered shots will sustain me for the foreseeable future.

"The HORROR! THE HORROR!" Rarity shrieked as she ran around in circles in Celestia's dayroom, too offended to even faint properly. The source of her distress stood unmoving and unreacting in the middle of the large room.

"Your Highness," Twilight said, looking everywhere except her mentor's denuded form.

"How'd he get your eyebrows too?" Rainbow asked as she fluttered close to the furless wonder.

"I LOVE WHEN YOU COMB MY HAIR! OH, MY HAIR LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. MY WINGS ARE SO PRETTY! MY BARRETTES LOOK SO PRETTY! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" Celestia said, staring vacantly straight ahead and sending even Princess Luna scrambling for purchase on the marble floors.

"Dashie, I like hugs, but you're hurting me," Pinkie said as she turned purple.

"Oh, sorry."

"We must avenge our princess' dignity!" Twilight announced with a fist in the air. She paused, took the prosthetic off and looked at Discord with disgust as he arrived.

"We must ignore that she started it!" Discord announced, mirroring Twilight's pose as he entered. "He carved that message, and was leaving when Naked Sol Rat shot him in the back. Several times." He looked at Celestia and cringed. "Eww. Wrinkly."

Luna glowered at him. He materialized a button on her head and dialed it down from 11 to 3 on the included scale.

"You can thank me later," Discord said, then looked around as everyone cringed at the idea of Luna speaking.

"I," Luna began, and realized she wasn't blowing everyone to the exits. "Thank you," she said to Discord. "I believe that as desperate as the attack has made us."

"Show of force, not attack," Discord said, "Let's keep the record straight."

"Why do you want to keep decent records all of a sudden?" Applejack asked.

"I want you to keep the record straight. I just want to point out, again, that ponies started this. Ponies even summoned that creature. And now you're all going to plan some horrific revenge without talking to them, against someone who was just doing his job," Discord said.

The shamed ponies looked around. Several scuffed at the floor with their hooves.

"Like me," Discord said and sniffled. They rolled their eyes and looked at their princess.

"Well, we still need to deal with big, white and wrinkly." He threw a bottle at Celestia. As everypony shouted and failed to catch it, it broke over her still form.

Suddenly, there stood a giant, bipedal rabbit with the name tag 'Harvey'. "Oops, boy. Wrong bottle." He threw another one. The bipedal, redheaded Rabbit was definitely a mammalian female very obviously. Discord's jaw dropped, he picked it up and commented, "Wow, Celestia, you never, woah."

"Can we leave her like this, it would be such an improvement?" Discord looked at the frowning ponies.

"Change her back before she falls over!" Rainbow shouted as she and Pinkie struggled to keep the figure from falling on her, face.

"I don't know what went wrong," Discord said from behind his Derpy mask. The ponies advanced a step. "But I'll fix it!"

"Y'all didn't use a spellchecker didya?" Applejack asked. Discord and even Celestia winced at that.

"Fine." Discord held out the bottle to Fluttershy. The label read 'Hair Restorer'. When Fluttershy nodded, he dumped the bottle on Celestia.

The doors to Celestia's dayroom burst open and a great cascade of etheric nimbus flowed out with ponies trapped inside.

"HAIRVALANCE!" Except Rainbow who surfed out of the room on the vast deluge of mane.

"Little much I admit," Discord said.

Rarity gathered up two forelegs full. "When you clip it, Can I have the overflow?"

"Certainly not," Luna insisted.

"Just for dresses for her valiant Elements, and yourselves."

'"No," Luna told Rarity.

"Please!" Rarity said trying to look as cute as Fluttershy.

"No. We auction this off to fanatical admirers. How else do you think she afforded all this without exorbitant tax rates?"

The ponies nodded sagely. Discord face palmed.

"While I did not agree to the use the potion was initially put to. I think we must consider that it must be used on Godzilla."

Twilight and the others nodded.

"Luna," Discord said with an odd aura of seriousness, "You have a choice no pony has ever faced. You have your fear which might become reality, and you have Godzilla, which is reality."

The ponies looked at each other in confusion.

Discord caught up with Luna as she marched through the castle's corridors, trying to give the shaken populace a sense of security.

"Quite a mission," Discord said, "And of course, using the potion on such a big, strapping buck has nothing to do with you well." Discord pulled down a curtain labeled 'privacy curtain'.

After several moments of increasingly heated debate, the curtains rattled back up into their holders. "That's disgusting!" Luna shouted, "I did this for the good of Equestria. That he might become an Alicorn stallion is utterly -"

Discord had produced a yardstick and measured to the top of the arc of her tail. Luna had fallen silent when Discord showed her how much higher she was holding her tail than normal. "'Utterly' what?" he asked.

Luna snorted and marched away.

"Just remember to get him before your sister does," he called after her. "Ah, my work is never done." He twirled the yardstick like a baton as he walked off whistling Ravel's Bolero.

6) Devil in Disguise

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Devil in Disguise by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

It was not just a library I'd found, but a library associated with a university. Inside, preserved by cold and magic, was a treasure trove of both ancient texts and modern scientific thought, all from over a thousand years ago, when pony warred on pony, and technology was embraced.

It called for my most diligent and careful efforts. My most stringent concentration. This would be a tremendous bargaining chip. As well as a huge boon to the humans who would be coming here. No more guesses about the nature of this world. Here would be the scientific research, as well as the unexpurgated history of our benevolent masters.

"Hi there! I bet you never thought you'd have a friend like me!" Discord said as he appeared in front of me, and did a very poor version the genie's act from Aladdin. I mean worse than Homer Simpson's in Return of Jafar, he at least brought his A-game. As his act wound down, Discord floated before me. "So, I offer the three, traditional wishes. Just say the word."

I began to understand why ponies all thought he was irritating. Instead, I began scribing into the massive ice walls that encircled the settlement I have been carving loose from the ice. I pointed to it once I was done. Discord stared at the pony-high letters through a pair of granny glasses.

"Wow, you must have a lawyer or two in there with you," Discord said, "But, you've been giving me so much fun, with more fun to follow. I'll do it."

In an instant, the entire city was clear of ice. Just as I wished, several years' work done in a moment. He'd also reforested the park lands, cleared a couple of outlying towns, laid out several areas of land for tilling. Even put up several orchards. By exceeding my wildest imagination, he'd also proven who had the biggest stick on the planet.

"Now look. I like the nice, low-key approach," he told me as he leaned against my snout, "No real trouble, you playing the misunderstood underdog. But Celestia's mine. Keep her guessing, keep her depressed, even break her down and make her sob her heart out, and we live together in amicable chaos. Go beyond that, and we, you have a problem."

I nodded. The city was clear, which was my first wish. He'd gone far beyond my wishes, but I wasn't complaining. I looked at him expectantly.

"Sorry, you still have two wishes left. I can't let you talk, those were horrible movies. And as much as it pains me to admit it, humans can't live here. Something about the unfavorable catalyzation of reverse transcriptase or something. You use magic, or you die. Simple as that. But, you've got all you need to make some changes. Enjoy." He leaned close and elbowed me in the cheek. "I certainly am."

With that he vanished. I checked over the town as carefully as I could. He seemed to have done a masterful, and professional job restoring the place. No unwelcome surprises. At least none I could see or sense. No Plunder Vines or barrels full of Windingos. He had unroofed the place, so I suspect that I'd be receiving visitors. That would be unfortunate, for them.

I'd been expecting the refusal to return the humans to their native form. Shame about the voice, I thought, I would have liked to be able to talk to the pony authorities. But I suspect he would have made me sound like a Chipmunk on helium. Carry on.

It was several days later just before sunset when the first pony boats appeared. The old notion of 'spy trawlers' came to mind as they were to a one fishing boats.

"Ahoy the land," came the cry from the lead boat.

I stuck my head out of the valley between the ice sheets. Two of the boats immediately tried to reinvent hydroplane racing. The others just stared in awe.

Be interesting if the ones staying are all Newfoals, and the ones retreating are standard ponies, I thought, Good test for casual infiltrators.

The leader, an older man and his young grandson? right out of Hemingway's 'Old Man and the Sea' approached. "My name is Michael Goodman, this is my apprentice Jose Sanchez."

I nodded. The guy had guts, but he was also a natural leader. The other boats were closing as he rowed in closer.

"These are all who're left of my company, all the rest went pony." He waited for my nod. "We were wondering if there was any place for a fishing fleet in your new country."

I nodded, and wrote 'cannery' in English and Spanish in the ice wall. Jose looked like I'd just announced Christmas. The boats drew in together and they all chattered excitedly. I left them to their discussions. I'd already figured out where this would go, and my answer. They'd either retreat, or want a tour. Either way, I would accommodate them.

Celestial stood on the balcony and waved to her adoring ponies as she lowered the sun. Her brief 'vacation' was being conveniently forgotten. Once the cheering ended, she headed back inside as the council of war convened. There in the rapidly converted grand ballroom, the former Elements, all her generals, admirals and archmagi had assembled with their staffs. Despite the immensity of the room, it was rather crowded, except around the main table. The 'spear carriers' might have been nearly cheek to jowl, but the real decision makers had room to maneuver. The map at the center of the center table showed their target. She approved of the predatory expressions on the faces around the table.

"It is clear that this creature is planning another foray into Equestrian," Celestia said as she spread photos of the creature from its attack on Canterlot, including the message carved on the mountain almost directly below them. "We must ask ourselves if we should await its arrival, and engage it, or take the fight to it."

"Oh, I vote for an all out attack, with flaming ponies in each hand and great gouts of magic and the Elements of Harmony in the vanguard," Discord said as he arrived, on hearing the grumbling, he added, "Fashionably late. After the opening bloodbath, dump a massive potion bomb on him. After all, something half-a-million times larger than a large human will become quite the pony."

"Discord," Luna said.

"I am curious," Discord continued, ignoring her, "Do you have half-a-million doses of potion left? Do you have a way of lifting and launching half-a-million doses of potion? That's around 12000 gallons or 290 tons, including a reasonable container." He looked at the confused Newfoals standing guard around the room. "Forty-four and a third kiloliters and 260 tonnes, learn the Imperial system like civilized ponies."

Discord smiled as the enormity of the task assailed their warlike fervor. "Oh, Sparkly-poo."

The alicorn in question glared at Discord.

"Don't be so dour." Discord put a party hat on her head. "Godzilla just unearthed the Great Library at Monoceropolis."

"The lost library of Monoceropolis?" Twilight asked as her eyes grew wide, "The greatest collection of lost books in the world?" The littlest alicorn's eyes glittered with a lust undreamt of by most mortal lovers. "We have to kick him out of there and reclaim the library!"

"And endanger all those books?" Discord asked and shook his finger at Twilight. "The book bindery and printing presses there in the city wouldn't mean one copy of the lost books, but dozens, even hundreds. Copies of all, for all the major archives. And by allowing the troublemakers who want to leave to do so, and the price of their leaving would be copies of those lost plays, commentaries, histories, literature and science."

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," Twilight sang as she pronked around the warroom.

"Someone else want to pick up the thread?" Discord asked as his head spun around watching the happily dancing Twilight.

"Allowing the troublemakers to see peace is possible, " Luna said eagerly, "That the pony way of tolerance and Harmony triumphs their warlike tendencies and history."

Discord nodded. "And after a few decades of seeing ponies as their true selves they will begin to accept the inevitable, and accept their ponyness. Then they will be more amenable to Equestria, becoming good friends as the scars fade. On Earth, Britain had the Commonwealth: former colonies who stayed loyal to the mother country even after they'd 'grown up'. Imagine how good it will feel having them ask to come back, rather than dragging them back kicking and screaming. After all, true friends, true family have their arguments and tiffs. But they always come back together in the end, in love and mutual respect."

The others looked at Discord with pleased expressions, or slight confusion. But all shared the dream as he'd laid it out.

"No," Celestia said.

Even Twilight stopped hopping around and joined the others in staring at the Solar Diarch in confusion.

"They are our subjects, we are their sovereigns," Celestia said and nodded to Luna, "That is all they need to understand. The ancient pony homelands are pony soil. They will not be ceded to this monster."

"But," Twilight began, "Books."

"They will be ours again," Celestia assured Twilight. She glared at Discord. "Thank you for that amusing diversion. For once, your joke was funny."

"Thank you," Discord said, turned and left. Fluttershy and Rarity excused themselves and went after him.

"While he pointed out several, major problems, none of them are insuperable," Celestia said, "Our airships can easily carry that load. We have the stockpiles, and I doubt that we need concern ourselves with the safety of what we use. Many of the rejected batches can be used. Dropping it on target is the next problem." Celestia looked around, confirming they were back on track with her vision of events.

Fluttershy caught up with Discord first, and hugged him. That slowed him down enough Rarity could catch up without galloping down the corridors of Canterlot.

"I will admit, I'm not the world greatest expert on friendship. But was I wrong, was I that far off base with what I proposed, or was it that I proposed it?" Discord asked.

"For a po - person ill-experienced with friendship, your plan was well thought out, and played to our people's strengths," Rarity said, "I would say it was an excellent plan. I don't think Princess Celestia rejected it out of hand simply because you proposed it. I don't understand why she rejected it."

"Don't feel bad," Fluttershy offered, "We all know you tried. Maybe when Cadence arrives, she'll champion your idea."

"Thank you," Discord said, he glanced down the corridor, "I think you two better get back to the meeting. Can't hang around with persona non grata without some of it sticking."

Both ponies frowned, but did as he suggested. When they could no longer see him, he grinned.

I watched as Goodman and his team walked out of the cannery. Their stunned expressions at the complete and comprehensible systems told me that Discord had done expert work. I couldn't get into the buildings even to sniff around. The mustiness of these structures was gone. So evidently was the rust and corrosion I'd worried about. He'd restored them to as-built condition, all ready to go back into production.

"I think it will work," Goodman said.

Sanchez waved his arms until I looked at him. "Look, my parents were both union organizers, real rabble rousers."

That sat well with no one, but I worked especially hard to hide it. We'd need those kind of people.

"So they know how to get the word out, when management doesn't want the word spreading," the young former-human said. "You gave their royalnesses an easy target, date and location. I say you start slipping out the ones who are ready now, as an underground railroad. Her Highness hasn't started the crackdowns on dissidents yet, or rather again. Now is the time for those ready to run to run. We can get this place ready for when the first wave of refugees come in."

Here's the first test. Can I let go? I wanted to oversee this, to bring in the first wave myself, I thought, But it's already being taken away from me. I know they aren't smugglers. Newfoals are intellectually crippled that way. I guess, do I let a good idea stand, even though it's not mine, even though it goes against my plans? Or do I force my vision on them?

I carefully extended a hand to Sanchez. He took a finger in both hoofs and shook it.

That done, some of the weight of the world raises off of me. I nodded, and they returned to their boats.

7) Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Eighty-five families, I thought as I sat amazed, Eighty-five, and more being slipped in every night. It made it riskier for me to tromp around, and for some reason the littlest ones with the least self-preservation instinct seemed to want to get the closest. Very much a case of 'I appreciate the hero worship, but can you let me walk?'

Apparently not. My foray back into Equestria is in three days. So two weeks ago, I moved down the coast of the continent that didn't have lots of people in it, and have been fashioning the 'ark' that will take the potentially thousands of immigrants from Los Pegasus. With the ability to breathe a blast of star-hot plasma, cutting the rough shape out of the ice was easy. What's taken a week was the cutting the inside. What I wound up with was an oversized canoe. It would have to do, based on the skill sets I have, the tools available, and the time. Given a year, I could make a vessel more fitting. But I don't have what I'd need.

Ironic, when anything super heavy needs to be moved, I can do it. I could build the pyramids out of blocks myself, but the fine work is beyond me. I'll have to ask for some tools to overcome that, I thought.

There are times you just feel something is wrong. During my musings over improving my canoe, I spotted a cloud. It wasn't traveling against the wind, or moving too fast or too slow. But everything about it screamed 'wrong, danger'. Clouds in this area didn't come in small groups, they came in Earth-like storm fronts that the weather teams had to break up. A few clouds were just too peaceful. Peaceful meant Equestrian. Maybe if they'd studied the local weather, they wouldn't have given themselves away, I thought as I took careful aim, and fired.

The clouds burnt away, revealing a trio of large airships carrying an immense sphere. Immense for ponies. For me, it would have been large softball.

A second, more focused blast to the dead center of the sphere. The explosion was what I was trying to avoid. The lead airship lurched upward as its tow cable was severed. The two side ships each were still attached to the twisted wreckage of the sphere and were drawn togther. Their impact was anticlimactic, being two bags of gas crashing into each other at running speed. The two didn't recover well from the impact and began a steady descent to the water, without rudders or engines compensating for the loss of the third ship.

I suspected whatever confusion or disability had gripped the crews of the airships would prevent them from rescuing themselves or each other. The 'ark' was on soft sand and thus unlikely to float away. I swam out and collected the blimps while they were still airborne, and cut their cargo loose. I dragged the stricken ships through the air to shore. There was nothing to moor them to, and it was clear the explosion had punctured a fair number of the lifting cells. Neither blimp was going anywhere except down without extensive repairs.

The crew had also been caught in the explosion, and now I understood the lack of coordination on their part during the emergency. Nearly all of them were thestrals, griffons, the odd hippogriff and diamond dog scattered among them. The only members of the crew who seemed well enough trained to overcome suddenly becoming another species and body shape were several handfuls of soldiers who surrounded the seven who seemed to have take the worst of it.

The unicorn was the weirdest. He wasn't an Equestria unicorn, but one out of human legend: goat's hooves and beard, horse's body, lion's tail. The looks he was getting from a young female dragon indicated he had a suitor the instant he wanted one. The unicorn seemed more interested in looking after the Breezy it had on its back wrapped in its tail. The second trio was almost as disturbing. An absolutely ordinary Earth pony had rolled herself into a fetal ball with her tail covering her body. The Changeling Queen beside her stared down with real malevolence. "See here! There ain't no shame in bein' an Earth Pony!"

The other was a grab-bag of different parts. Hawk's head, a tentacle, a bear's arm ending in a gorilla's hand, an orca's torso and tail, a turtle leg, and a starfish's limb. "Ooo! Opposable thumb."

In the center of it all was the biggest, meanest looking red and black alicorn stallion I could imagine. The fangs alone would give a grizzly bear pause. "Umh, hi, we met earlier," it said in a stunningly timid voice. "Could you direct us back to the mainland?"

"Books!" the Breezy suggested.

"Not now," the unicorn said, "Just be glad he hasn't flash-fried us."

I growled a bit at that. They tried to attack me, judging by the way their cargo exploded. I rescued them, and now they were speculating about what horrible thing I'd do to them. I decided to do the most horrible thing I could think of. I walked off and left them, taking their nearly deflated blimps with me as possible sails for the ark.

They could starve or freeze to death for all I cared. Or they could accept their new forms and take themselves home. They were not my problem. If the other airship got itself under control, I might let it pick them up. Or I might let it pick them up, and then shoot it down over open ocean.

In any case, I headed off to work on the ark.

Discord watched Celestia go into a towering rage at the absolute failure of all three of her plans. First, the immense stash of potions was expended to no end, and it was clear they had potions to change even ponies into other forms.

That will be a nice rumor to spread, he thought as Celestia stomped around in circles around her scrying pool, Let the others know what the Sun Princess had in mind for them.

Second, the use of the Elements of Harmony on the creature hadn't even occurred.

And our friend doesn't even realize he's got the Elements in the remains of those two airships, Discord thought and nearly squealed with joy. And third, she doesn't get a plate of martyrs to set before the populace. He rescued the damaged airships, and while he stranded them on the coastline, he left a very clear trail for them to follow. Or Appleling, Fluttercorn and Pinkie-cord could fly the entire crew home on their own power.

"You are enjoying my humiliation," Celestia told him as he giggled.

"Go back to Equestrian ideals, and extend the hand of friendship," Discord said and extended his hand.

"They are my little ponies. They will always be my little ponies. Neither you, nor Sombra, nor Nightmare will ever take them away." Celestia stomped towards the door, then turned and gestured, "This is my room. Get out!"

Discord vanished, then reappeared atop the ark as the huge creature worked. "Oh, good job."

Godzilla looked at him warily.

"Oh stop, don't you trust me?" Discord asked and got the absolute flattest stare he'd ever gotten from anything. "Oh, fine. Spoilsport. I forgive you, because you being you is going to make Godzilla: Equestria Wars the biggest thing since, well you. We're even getting Octavia to score it. Of course Vinyl Scratch's work will be on the album released six months before the actual soundtrack comes out, but marketing is marketing. Look, I happen to know that there's some of my property in those two airships. Something they took, and it could be very dangerous for you and your humans to keep it. An Equestrian superweapon, The Elements of Harmony." Discord waited for the reverb to die down, and noted the creature had returned to working on the boat. Irritated, Discord snapped his fingers and there was a pony-scaled ice sculpture of the Titanic, sitting atop a huge sheet of ice. "There, you're done, now will you listen?"

Godzilla nodded.

"I don't want to demand them. I want to buy them from you. Say, every painting, sculpture and piece of music from old Earth." Discord nearly shied from the creature's focused attention. "Okay, now that you're listening. The Elements of Harmony are Equestria's big gun. They used it on me, they used it on Nightmare Moon, and they were planning to use it on you. So, I'll take the Elements, and those poor ponies are the Bearers. Now they won't be. I'd appreciate it if you took them back to Equestria and let them off safely, preferably where lots of ponies can see you."

Godzilla crossed his arms and stared at Discord.

Discord leaned against Godzilla's cheek. "Look Godzy, sweetheart, you and I are trying to establish a brand here. You, the heroic and gentle defender of humanity. Enemy to no one. What do you say?"

The spikes along Godzilla's back began lighting up, one at a time. Starting at the tip of his tail and advancing slowly up his back.

"Okay! Okay!" Discord said and waved his hands, "Some of them are my, ah, friends. I want them out of this fight and you did it. I'm grateful, and I want to make sure they don't get dragged back in. Self-serving sounding enough?"

Godzilla scribed in the icewall 'Let us design a proper museum, with proper tributes to you for restoring what was lost.'

Discord smiled so widely his head nearly fell off. "Tribute, to me?" he squeaked happily, and let off a Fluttershy-worthy squeal when Godzilla nodded. "Whatever shall I wear? A heroic pose, or more sophisticated? The thinker?"

He realized he was alone as Godzilla had retreated and was taking the Titanic for a test cruise before he picked up the refugees. Discord quickly summoned the Elements to himself and vanished.

Reappearing in the grove of the Tree of Harmony. "No one will ever find them in here," he said as he replaced them on the tree. His plunder vines shrank back, but he wasn't worried. He grinned at the tree. "I must say, your 'champion' of Harmony is the tyrant you always wanted. Even a group who tries to 'agree to disagree', she won't stand for it. You must be very proud."

The glow of the tree faded noticeably as Discord left.

The ponies had camped out on the lee of the ship, rather than going inside. I wondered what they were thinking of their predicament. They are at my mercy, I thought, And they don't know they're under Discord's protection. He never mentioned who his friends are, so I look after all of them.

After a few hours, we arrived near the port of Los Pegasus, where I'd told people to assemble, in three days time. Evidently, there were always those who would try and jump the gun. There was a massive internment camp, armed guards, towers, barbed wire, a moat and a net overhead to prevent the fliers from trying to escape.

I looked at the crew and Bearers I'd just rescued from their fate and pointed at the camp. Many of them at least looked ashamed.

"Why do you want them to leave Equestria?" the Breezy shouted, "They should be happy serving Princess Celestia."

The Changeling Queen collected the Breezy in her hat. "Eh, she's jist excitable," she said nervously. She tried to smile, realized how creepy it made her look and stopped.

The alicorn flew up to confront me, no not confront, there was too much of a pleading tone mixed in the strong statements. "I know you promised those ponies a new home, but the guards are only doing their jobs."

So did lots of other people. Didn't keep them from performing atrocities and genocide, I thought.

"So, please don't hurt them."

Okay, I don't have to hurt them. I'm essentially invulnerable, and physically stronger than anything else. Freeing them should be easy. But I'm getting sick of these ponies assuming I'm going to hurt someone, when they are attacking or locking people up.

I advanced on the internment camp leaving the crew and the Bearers behind.

8) Jailhouse Rock

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Jailhouse Rock by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The camp was large. There were no buildings within. Just ponies and a few others shoved in and penned up. If they are lucky, they still have a blanket or two. No latrines, and no shelter from the night, the rain or the sun. A distance away were barracks and office buildings. For the guards.

If they are trying to piss me off, they are more than succeeding, I thought as I advanced. I could tear the wire apart, fill in the moat and get the captives moving to the boat. Despite every instinct to flatten the guards' barracks and offices, I stay on target. Getting these people to their new life and making that life successful is a better, deeper revenge.

But the ponies don't want to make it easy.

"You will halt your advance and surrender, or the captives will suffer," the voice over the camp's loudspeaker system told me.

The 'captives' were young females. Young mothers or 'hot girls' to make the stallions in the camp feel protective? I wondered, Makes no difference. My job is to rescue as many captives as I can. Losing a few for all the others is an acceptable loss.

Problem was, I heard the cries from the camp. They'd picked mares from large or close-knit extended families. Plenty of throats demanding mercy for their family member.

"Your choice," the voice teased.

There's a rule when with dealing with giant, unstoppable monsters, which was why in most of those movies, the general's headquarters was a tent with vehicles close behind. So he could move quickly when the kaiju spotted him. He didn't take up residence in the fanciest building in the camp.

I leaned over, missing all the other buildings, and closed my jaws around that one. The ponies inside didn't even have a chance to scream. I straightened up and began spitting out pieces of building. Doors, filing cabinets, smashed desks and chairs sailed down several hundred feet to impact on the guards' encampment. The ponies were soon panicking, and those who made the connection were abandoning any thought about torturing the mares, or even remaining in the same district.

Oh, that taste like work sweat, I thought. I leaned down and spat out a sergeant, followed by two privates. That tastes like fear sweat. A pair of lieutenants were added to the ground. Ah ha! Hair care products, too much cologne . . . and he soiled himself, I thought as I reluctantly made sure I'd throughly slobbered all over the commander, before I spat him out from a safe distance. I could gargle later.

He let out a wail of anguish befitting one of the victim of the darker hells of Dante or the Chinese. I advanced towards the captive mares, and began dismantling the cages to release them.

"Hold on a second, bucko!" Miss Mismatch announced and put herself between me and the guards' camp. "Time to cut you down to size!" She gestured, and instead of looking down from high above, I was looking almost straight across to the mare. Miss Mismatch folded her arms across her chest. "What are you gonna do about that?"

That's it. Wiping out an entire alien race I could almost put aside as Lovecraftian morality. But when rescuing a bunch of ponies who were going to be tortured, by scaring the crap out of the guards was labeled a 'bad thing', that tore it. I didn't even go for the slow warm up. My blast hit her right in the face, and then burned the rest of her to ashes as she stood there.

Once she's 'gone' I feel the spell on me breaking. As I am returned to my normal size, I collected up the ashes, and mixed them with dirt. I also absorbed the magic within as I mixed. Then I stood back, and hit the mix with a blast, fusing the entire mass into a solid slab of glass.

It clinked as it cooled, and I carefully tore the cages holding the captive mares apart. They scampered from the cages towards the camp at their best speed. Some ran, a couple limped along, with some carrying those who could no longer walk on their own.

The troops in the guard towers and the gate readied themselves. Then they saw my spines starting to light. In a show of their true loyalty to Princess Celestia, to an equine, they abandoned their posts and ran for it. The bravest among them unlocked the gates before running away. Brave in that the prisoners could have gotten the soldier.

There were several heartfelt and tearful reunions. And a few cooler heads were getting every prisoner up and moving. Fortunately, there were not the tens of thousands of my nightmares. But there were a couple thousand. Jose, his parents, or their agents had done well. There were 'sergeants' in each group with under officers keeping the groups together and moving. The young, healthy and strong had been dragooned to help the more frail, and to move wagons and carts that had been confiscated by the guards.

I stood out of the way as this got organized. I also scanned the skies for reinforcements, and to watch the guards as they boiled out of their barracks and armories to deal with the prison break. The boiling stopped the instant they saw me, and panic set in among them. Ironically, among the Newfoals, there had been concern, but a sort of awed reverence had replaced it. They had the job I'd set for them, and they set about doing it. That job being escaping to the port and seizing their freedom. Any who'd wondered about the attitude towards Newfoals by the native Equestrians had been shown what it was in crystal clarity.

"Pinkie Pie!" the alicorn stallion cried and landed near the glass cenotaph.

I looked at the glass and blinked. Somehow someone had labeled the inside with a sign: 'In Case of Party Break Glass'. Okay, I'm not a killer, yet, I thought and felt an odd relief.

The alicorn was kicking the glass in a way that wouldn't have knocked over an ant, let alone shattered a foot-thick slab. Then he had another problem.

"Marry me!" "Let me have your babies!" "You look tired Let's go back to my bunk and lie down!" The guard mares, at least I think most of them were mares, swarmed Mister Red and Black with expressions I remembered from Sinatra and Beatles' concerts. Expressions I remember having on one or two occasions. Red and Black looked around, more terrified than the guards had been at my approach, and leapt into the air to take refuge in the one place the guards wouldn't follow. Although quite a few of them strongly considered it, and not just the pegasi.

I looked up, Red and Black looked down. "Sorry about this," Red and Black said, and despite the smoothest bass since Alvin Sanders, I heard the cringe in it.

Geeze kid, lighten up, I thought and checked on the guards who were torn between staring at the escaping prisoners, and climbing Mount Godzilla to 'rescue' Red and Black. If I was that angry, I could stomp all your admirers.

"Please don't do that," Red and Black said, "They frighten me, but I am kind of striking. They can't help it."

My eye twitched, but I decided to see how long it took for the other shoe to drop. A sentient being picks their own path and is responsible for their own actions. One reason I have avoided inflicting casualties, when I could easily lay waste to all of Equestria in a single night. I internally repeated the lyrics of Chris de Burgh's Revolution, and then I waited.

It took an unfortunately long time for the pony to stand on my brows and look over. "You can talk!?"

Various snide remarks ghosted through my mind. I settled on, Of course, no pony has bothered to listen before. I scanned the prisoners, and the guards. Nothing going on there. The Changeling Queen had changed into an orangish Earth Pony. She kicked the glass with her back legs so hard she shattered the whole slab. Miss Mismatch reassembled herself out of the wreckage. She spat out dirt and bits of glass for a while, and shook more off her skin/coat.

"That's too rough a party for me," she announced.

My 'toupee' lets out a relieved sigh. "You knew that wouldn't hurt her," Red and Black said, "Didn't you?"

I knew she'd survive. Sometimes pain is the only warning people pay attention to. If she avoids such in the future, it served its purpose. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an evacuation to oversee, I thought 'aloud', I had hoped for a peaceful emigration of those who didn't fit in. Your Princess decided that force was the only acceptable way.

Red and Black squirmed at that. "I'm sure she had her reasons."

Avarice, what is mine is mine forever, and I'll hurt you if you take it, I replied, I refuse to give her the benefit of assuming benevolent motives, and judge her as I would any other person. Someone wants to leave so you lock them in the closet? That is neither a good host, nor a friend. If you cannot allow others to do things, and experience them for themselves, you do not desire adults, but helpless children. Of all the things that weakened the people of Earth and crushed their souls, that is the worst. It is disturbing to have those things exalted in Equestria.

I continued on to oversee the loading of the glacier-ship. Some of the Newfoals broke into laughter as they saw what awaited them. It was good to know they still could laugh.

None of the military even tried to hold them up. They might have thought I was chasing them. I hoped none boarded the vessel, it would be a pain to separate them and send them home. Several hours, and some of the Newfoals escorting some caught up in the stampede off the ship, and we were ready to set sail. All going ashore had departed, and while a number of armored pegasi orbited high above, none drew close enough to have any effect. Their greatest weapons, the potion and the barrier, were useless, and I was simply too big for their other weapons to have any effect.

We began the trip to our new homeland, and our new life. Red and Black remained behind, although, I got the distinct feeling that the attention received from numerous mares made it a near run thing.

Author's Note

Note, there are three songs, Fluttercorn only heard the first. Light a Fire and Liberty are for later.

9) Heartbreak Hotel

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Heartbreak Hotel by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Offloading the people was a chore. The iceberg boat was a lot more massive than anything else on Equestrian, even me. So getting it close was the best I could do, and then I cut a 'raft' loose to ferry people across. Having Godzilla act as a tugboat had the little ones in stitches. The medics treated the wounded, and the seasick. How does anyone get seasick on a 300,000 ton 'boat' on a glass-smooth ocean I don't know, I thought.

I left the ponies to get acquainted and situated. I took the ice-tanic out of the shipping lanes and dragged it onshore to melt of its own accord. I noted several pegasi making high-altitude overflights. I briefly considered knocking them down, but decided against it. I wanted to keep the full range of my abilities secret for now. Hitting them now would reveal my maximum range and accuracy.

The summons to return to Canterlot had come by pegasus courier. Pinkie had decided to 'Spike' them there. The entire pile of them arriving like a letter in the middle of Celestia's court had the expected effect.

"Ouchie," Pinkiecord complained, "Applejack, my nose is caught in your leg."

"Sorry," Appleling said, disentangled herself and transformed back into Applejack. "I like being able to fly, but I really want to go back to myself."

"We can never go back," Rainbow moaned and curled up on the floor.

Appleling sighed as she looked at her. "The princess will fix it," she told her.

"We are lost, we can never go home," Rainbow said.

Twilight Breezy had fluttered around and pointed out the elephant in the room. "Where is everypony else?" She looked around the completely empty throne room.

Unicorn Spike and a love struck Rarity dragon headed out of the room. "Over here!" Spike called back to them.

The others charged to where Spike left Rarity, as he went to collect Twilight-Breezy. "Come on, you can do it Twilight!"

She growled at him as they rushed back to the door Rarity stood beside.

"You can't fight in here!" Luna shouted, "This is a war room!"

The group rushed in to find Luna physically between Celestia and Discord pressing her wings against the two growling combatants. While the Imperial General Staff hid in the corners. All three of them stopped as they looked at the newcomers.

Celestia and Discord finally found common ground. "AHHHHGUGH!" they shouted as they retreated to the far end of the room. Luna stood where she'd been, her mouth agape, staring at them. Until she looked at Fluttercorn, then her wings poofed.

Fluttercorn raised a hoof. "Um, hi."

"AHHHHHGUH!"

Appleling facehoofed.

"What happened to you?" Discord said as he appeared next to them, then looked over Pinkiecord and Fluttercorn, "Not that it isn't an improvement."

"Where are the Elements?" Celestia asked as she approached much more warily.

"Uh, they were still on the airships," Rarity-dragon said.

"And Godzilla took them," Unicorn Spike added.

"We could ask for them back," Fluttercorn offered, glanced at Luna's lascivious expression and hid behind Appleling.

"And let the fool know he possesses Equestria's trump card in his paws, never," Celestia said.

"Princess Celestia, what about us?" Twilight Breezy asked, "We can't really help you or serve as Bearers of the Elements like this."

"Unfortunately, you'll have to stay in the castle in isolation," Celestia told them, "We can't let the others know that the Elements are no longer available to us."

"Or let them see that the potion works on ponies?" Discord asked.

"The potion was a mix of failed experimental types," Celestia retorted sharply, "It should have had no effect on ponies."

"But it did," Discord said.

"Enough," Celestia said, "A team of commandos will be sent to recover the Elements, and the Bearers will be kept here for their own safety."

"But my farm!" Appleling protested, so distraught she lost her disguise.

Celestia shied back in disgust. "Is your farm more important than Equestria?" Celestia asked.

Appleling changed back into Applejack and bowed her head. "No ma'am."

"Then with that settled," Celestia said and turned back to the table at the center of the war room. "What of these other rumors of uprisings, Newfoals flocking to the coast?"

"Highness," Twilight Breezy said, "Princess Celestia, what about us? Changing us back?"

"Twilight, you failed your test, and lost the Elements of Harmony," Celestia said without taking her eyes off the table. "You have much to think about."

Twilight Breezy let Unicorn-Spike collect her with his tail, as guards collected the rest of them. Pinkiecord transformed into a breezy next to Twilight and hugged her devastated friend.

Pinkie looked at the glass of chocolate milk rain and set it aside with a frown. "This isn't as fun as I thought it would be." The rest of the group were lounging around the palatial room, although Spike and Twilight had locked themselves in a closet. Rarity dragon sat just outside the arc of the door, staring at it.

"Rarity, it cain't be that he's that FABULOUS!" Appleling said, "And Rainbow, either snap out of it or go ta sleep."

Rainbow Dash began softly snoring.

"That's jist weird," Appleling said and shook her head.

"That's very weird," Rarity-dragon said as she approached, "But you're wrong, he is scrumptiously fabulous!" She let off a Fluttershy-esque squeak at the end.

Fluttercorn, Appleling and Pinkiecord all stared at each other.

"Anyhow, what are we going ta do? Wait, fer the Princess' commandos ta get the Elements back?" Appleling asked.

"We could talk to him," Fluttercorn said, "Not tell him about the Elements, just ask for the airships back."

"How in tarnation is anypony gonna talk to a giant, fire-breathing lizard?" Appleling asked.

"I can," Fluttercorn said, "He's actually trying not to hurt any pony. He just wants the Newfoals to have a nice place to live." She looked at the stunned expressions around her. "Uh, he's not a lizard, he's a dragon." That seemed to satisfy all of them.

"Saaaaaay," Pinkiecord said, and transformed into a sneaking suit, then transformed into Pinkie Pie wearing a sneaking suit, "More practice. Why don't we go get them!?"

"Pinkie," Appleling began, then looked around at the shoreline they'd reappeared on, and the suit she'd found herself in. "Pinkie, this is a bad idea."

"Why?" Pinkiecord asked, "Rarity and Spike can talk to any guards. You and Fluttershy can sneak into the town and search for the Elements. I can search the airships, and we'll all be gone before anyone notices."

"How are we gonna do that?" Appleling asked.

"Silly," Pinkiecord giggled, "You go in as some other Apple. Fluttershy transforms into some random pony." She looked at Fluttercorn as Pinkie Pie, in Pinkie's trademark pose. Pinkiecord facepawed. "I need an adult."

Fluttercorn giggled. "I'm not sure I want to go back. I like to be able to fly, but I never felt my connection to the ground so strongly before."

"Yep, it is kinda nice," Appleling said, "Not sure how I feel about being a Changeling, but I guess that really means I can be any pony."

"Although, I don't like the looks a lot of ponies are giving me." Fluttercorn became Lyra and looked herself over. "This should work. Even if they realize I'm not a Newfoal, Lyra was always interested in humans."

"Whatever happened to her?" Pinkie asked.

Appleling considered. "I don't remember. I kinda remember asking, but I can't remember if I ever got an answer."

I thought of it as 'the king's walk', letting the people see me. A big part of me was revolted by the implications. But another part understood and accepted the pageantry some felt comfortable with. The need for something greater than oneself. I could understand it, without agreeing with it. The very world we inhabit shows where such thinking takes you. What the ponies make into 'better' shapes destroys any semblance of what was there before. And the ability to exist on its own anymore, I thought as I walked and let them cheer.

The Newfoals are just the latest example. The ponies destroyed the natural weather patterns, so they have to do the work themselves. The species called 'Breezies' cannot survive without pony interventions. Evidently the sun and the moon cannot move without pony action.

All that ponies have touched, they destroy. All in the name of 'preserving' and 'helping' it. This is the ultimate result of 'we must protect the children'. Where those best able to trumpet their weakness and the unfairness of those who have more, or do more with less, are the rulers. So it is here, the low-level bullying and 'pranks' that would get corrected in a healthy society are ignored here. And should you dare stand up for yourself, you are worse than the perpetrators. This is not a place Oscar Wilde, or Giger, or Stephan King would flourish. Nothing to shock the senses, nothing to make one think, nothing to make a pony uncomfortable. And therefore nothing to goad one into making progress. Without natural selection, without the effects of random chance and the pressure that Earth directed at all her children, the ponies too are dying out. Rumors and half-heard conversations reveal that the human race for all their warlike tendencies, have created billions. Yet, in a pony driven paradise, there are only tens of millions, and the numbers are dropping, I thought and looked at all the kids among the throng screaming 'Godzilla' and all the various songs written for the character.

It is clear to me, Celestia invaded Earth and ponified everyone who wouldn't simply die, because she would have been ruling a necropolis within a few more generations. When the ponies failed to replace themselves. Because to raise children, you must to some extent become an adult. Even If the parents do not, the police, the older generations or others must. But none of that exists here. So they avoid the decision by not having children.

Sort of it makes it clear why humanity had to be destroyed. Because humanity proved one thing the Celestia and those who support her could never accept. Magic is unnecessary and destiny is irrelevant. Both are childrens' fantasies. Adults, humans, can create without magic, needing only imagination and persuasion. If you can dream it, and convince a few others to help you build it, a human can create great things. Here, if you don't have magic, even just to make the ground flourish, you can do nothing. Here, if you don't have a destiny in accord with your dreams, you cannot succeed.

I can almost understand why they would have such an existential dread. A race at odds with all they've been taught is important, out doing them in every way they can measure. But I also realize that Celestia has already selected their replacements.

I saw around me, many children and their loving families. More than you would see in a similar-sized pony community by several times.

Celestia had grown tired of 'her little ponies" foibles, and decided to replace them. I wonder if the ponies who followed Celestia so faithfully, committing unimaginable crimes to keep her love, realize that they were ushering in their replacements. The Newfoals are the improved model. Incapable of feeling more than token outrage at their mistreatment. Yet they have proven even more faithless than the ponies. My presence here highlights that. I am here as a counter to Celestia. They intended I cut a bloody swath through the ponies to lay open Celestia on her throne. Yet even I refused my destiny, seeking victory another way. Even in my attacks on Celestia, I personify what ponies truly fear.

Speaking of fear, I thought as I neared the end of my 'walk' and approach the harbor. I thought the awe versus terror reaction would come in handy.

I scooped up the two ponies to paralyzed to act, and head off into the harbor.

10) Burning Love

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Burning Love by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Appleling was so frightened she'd dropped her disguise. She would have dropped a lot more, but all her other muscles had frozen in place.

"Uhm, hi," Fluttercorn said, "We're here to collect the Elements of Harmony . . . oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

It wouldn't matter, I traded them to Discord for a museum, Godzilla told her.

"You WHAT!?" Fluttercorn briefly regained her former vocal range.

I traded them to Discord for a museum, Godzilla said, He said some of you are his friends and he wants you out of this fight, and to make sure you don't get dragged back in.

"Ah, beg pardon," Appleling said, "But why kin I hear you? And why're you sayin' such mind-breakin' stuff?"

As a Changeling Queen, perhaps because your soul hears the resonance of my love for all life, including Changelings, Godzilla told her, And Discord may have meant one of the other Bearers.

"Makes sense," Appleling said.

Or it could be you're standing on my head.

"Well, you did put us here, ta hear," Appleling said and grinned to Fluttercorn. Fluttercorn shook her head.

You are also now alicorn-level creatures, Godzilla said, With enhanced empathy. That may be another reason.

"That sounds like a Twilight answer," Appleling said.

"Can you imagine what would have happened if the potion would have landed on him?" Fluttercorn said, "Uhm, why did you bring us out here?"

I would have turned into a three-headed, gravity-beam spitting monster who would have eaten the moon. Godzilla's head moved slowly, pivoting upwards until he looked at the pegasus patrols. I have a message for you to take back to Celestia. We merely wish to live in peace, away from the ones who attacked us. Without the barrier, and the potion, Equestria has no defenses against us, save our continued goodwill. We are willing to leave them alone, if the leave us alone.

A resumption of conflict will serve neither nation, and without the advantages you had last time, it will not go your way.

Appleling stomped her hoof. "Sorry. But you expect us ta tell Princess Celestia that?"

Would you prefer I tell her in person? Godzilla asked.

"No," Appleling said.

Pinkiecord arrived next to the pair. "Nothing, if the Elements are in town, you should be looking for them there," Pinkie said and looked around, "Not out in the middle of the ocean."

"Pinkie," Fluttercorn warned, "Be very careful."

She's the one I zapped earlier, Godzilla said, She doesn't learn very fast, does she?

"I think we kin handle this," Appleling said.

"Who are you talking to?" Pinkiecord asked.

"You didn't just hear that?" Appleling asked.

Maybe a lack of empathy, Godzilla told them.

"I'll buy that," Appleling said, "Pinkie, Discord has the Elements. And we have a message from . . . "

Godzilla.

"Godzilla to Princess Celestia," Appleling said, "He and the Newfoals jist want peace. And if Equestria starts something, they'll finish it."

Colloquially expressed, but essentially correct, Godzilla replied.

"I'll doll it back up fer the Princess," Appleling said.

Pinkiecord began grinning. "Oh, I get it. You don't want us starting something we can't win," she said and winked at Appleling and Fluttercorn. "Something big and fluffy!" she shouted before she stomped down with all four limbs on Godzilla's head.

"NO!" "NO!" NO!

But Pinkie's powers went ahead.

Pinkie looked around. "A giant butterfly?" she asked and looked at her forelimbs, "This stuff really takes some practice."

"Pinkie Pie," Applejack and Fluttershy said in unison. They looked very different. Not just that they looked like a very attractive cross between humans and ponies, not just that their skin and hair tones where a 'compromise' between what each had before, but they had the most gorgeous, butterfly wings. "You have summoned the spirit who is guardian of the Earth, and the Earth is very displeased and offended by what Princess Celestia has done. Earth will take its vengeance on the Princess."

"That's a spooky duet you two have going there," Pinkiecord said. She noted the butterfly had soared well over the pegasus patrols and the sky was growing darker despite it still being the afternoon. "How high are we going, and why isn't it cold and how come we can still breathe?"

"We are under Mothra's protection," the pair said, "And as such you do not feel the full effects."

"Okay, so this was a very bad idea?" Pinkiecord asked.

"Yes," Applejack and Fluttershy said together.

"Fine," Pinkiecord said, "I'll fix it."

NO! "NO!" "NO!"

Good Lord! Godzilla thought, This is a pony's way of helping? Maybe Celestia really did want to help!

"I don't want to die!" Fluttercorn squealed as they dropped like a meteor towards Equestria.

"Silly, you can fly," Pinkiecord said. Fluttercorn smiled.

When I hit, the wave will probably swamp everything inland to Ponyville and the central geyser will reach 10 miles.

"I don't want to die!" Fluttercorn squealed.

Appleling facehoofed.

We're down into breathable air, firing retrorockets, Godzilla told them, Hang on or bailout.

"I don't want to die!" Fluttercorn squealed and hung on for dear life.

The sound exceeded the thunder of the heavens, or any mythological being of Earth. Only Saturn could claim a noise like that, and only as it boosted men into space. They slowed their descent and their forward motion came to a standstill. Then they settled gently back into the ocean.

Splashdown, Houston, Godzilla thought.

"It's a Stetson, not a Houston," Appleling said. She glared at Pinkiecord as Fluttercorn did. "Never do that again!"

Never say 'never', Godzilla warned, Now since she can't hear me, please relay the following. Next time she attacks me, I'm going to stick my finger somewhere she really doesn't want it, and turn her into a fractal.

"If you attack Godzilla again, he's going to stick his finger somewhere you really don't want it, and turn you into, a fractal?" Fluttercorn said.

Both Pinkiecord and Appleling shuddered at that.

"Is that bad?" Fluttercorn asked.

"I doubt even Twilight would understand it, so yeah, it's bad," Pinkiecord admitted.

Appleling rolled her eyes and looked down at Godzilla. "Would you be willing to help us regain the Elements from Discord?"

Would you be willing to guarantee safe passage for any Newfoals who want to emigrate from Equestria? Godzilla asked.

"I think the answer's 'no' to both," Appleling said sadly, "We apologize for the trouble. Pinkie take us back."

With that, they were gone, and I began my swim back to the Newfoal city. I suddenly realized I could have demanded the ability to speak from that new draconequus. No, I realized, With her questionable control, I might have ended up as the world's largest, talking wood louse. Or an alabaster milkshake.

The swim home let me consider the ponies' real problem: Discord. He seems to be playing his own game and is trying to play off Celestia. But the unexpected keeps forcing him to alter his game. Or is he orchestrating these wild swings? I have much to consider on the swim home.

"What do you mean the colony is just gone?" Celestia asked the messenger from the NewLands, "An entire town does not just disappear under a mud slide."

The guardsmare knew that Celestia didn't kill the messenger, death would have been preferable to the hurt, disappointed look she was getting from her sovereign right now. "I pray that my news were different, but that is what we found. The town is gone, a mud flow of great depth is all that remains. We've been searching for survivors, but - "

"Enough," Celestia said as she looked around the war room. "Begone."

The messenger retreated.

"Another one?" Discord asked, "Once is an accident, nineteen is pure carelessness. Maybe that forest fire had something to do with it. I did warn you."

"The humans seem to have built their cities and towns in the most inhospitable places," Celestia replied.

Discord began ticking off cases on his fingers. "Mare's Cow, they all froze to death, including the weather team; Seaddle covered by pyroclastic flows, I'm sure the humans had an evacuation plan; Celcelestianci, eaten by roaches from Detrot; Detrot, eaten by roaches; Mare Waii, that volcano goddess sank the islands; Saddelaide, rabbits ate the crops and spiders ate the ponies. Funny, Luna York seems to be doing quite well. Maybe because she built the city on the Brooklyn Heights rather than around Jamaica Bay so when that hurricane came in -"

"Enough, Discord," Celestia said, and raised her head to show her tears, "I am mourning the death of so many loyal subjects."

"Right," Discord replied, "That you put them there has nothing to do with it. Have you ever considered sending your dissenters to these colonies instead? With your track record, you'd be out of enemies instead of friends inside of six months. And you'd save oodles on mascara."

"Discord, if you cannot be of assistance, begone," Celestia told him.

The three arrivals on top of the map table prevented his departure.

"We know who has the Elements!" Pinkiecord said, and pointed at Discord, "HIM!"

"You know maybe they set up all their cities as traps for the less cautious and technologically advanced," Discord said.

"I said Discord has the Elements of Harmony," Pinkiecord said.

"Someone would take over their planet and try to move right in and get wiped out. Do you send ponies to vacation in Yellowstone? It's beautiful. You should go there yourself," Discord suggested.

"It's an active super volcano!" Celestia said, "I'd go there, and you'd detonate it to try to get rid of me. I'm not stupid Discord."

"Discord has the Elements of Harmony," Pinkiecord, Fluttercorn and Appleling said together.

"If true," Celestia said, "They are unobtainable, and you should return to your cell."

"I have the Elements?" Discord said, and took an innocent pose, "I suggest that is base slander, and a lie. I don't have them. You can search me."

"Not without a hazmat suit and a gasmask," Appleling said, "Godzilla said he gave them to you. Because some of us Bearers are your friends and you want us out of the fight."

"Friends?" Celestia asked and raised an eyebrow.

"I lied, to get my hands on the Elements. But I don't have them now," Discord said.

Appleling turned to Celestia. "He also said that the Newfoal city merely wishes to live in peace, away from the ones who attacked them. He also pointed out that without the barrier and the potion, Equestria has no defenses against them or him, save their continued goodwill. They are willing to leave us alone, if the leave them alone. A resumption of conflict will serve neither nation, and without the advantages we had last time, it will not go our way." Appleling took a breath after delivering the message.

"You expect the Equestrian Crown to bow to threats?" Celestia asked, "They are our little ponies, they are ALL our little ponies. They will be returned to our protection. Return to your rooms, and remain there until you are summoned."

Appleling was ready to protest, when Fluttercorn and Pinkiecord led her away.

"You too Discord. You may have deprived us of the Elements, but you haven't won," Celestia told him.

Discord saluted, and vanished.

11) Suspicious Minds

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Suspicious Minds by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The glow from the Tree of Harmony was dimmer still. Discord smiled. "So, Harmony means the crushing of all dissent? Rampant chaos caused you to act. Now you see what rampant Harmony and order will do. I must say, simply standing out of the way and giving you everything you desired has paid greater dividends than fighting you."

The glow of the tree dimmed further.

"The humans, they had an entertainment with a spectacular recurring character. The same entertainment had a recurring villain. Do you know what this most hated and feared enemy's war cry was? Not 'exterminate', because death would be an end. It was 'you will be assimilated'. All hope was stripped away, and you'd be made to serve the ones who destroyed you. The entire army composed of nothing but those mentally screaming at their endless rape of spirit and soul. Celestia has taken the first step and it was like a sip of water in a desert. She'll want to bring all into your light. To force all to submit, and be harmonious. To serve the goddess over all. Even death will not be a bar to Harmony."

The light of the Tree of Harmony faded more.

Twilight went over the equations again as she fluttered before her chalkboard. Unicorn Spike kept moving in case she got tired, and Rarity dragon was moving with him with the grace and artistry of a dancer. Twilight would lecture Spike on how he used to make Rarity feel, now that he was on the receiving end. But he's not taking advantage, she thought, Good for him.

"It is impossible for such a creature to even exist," she pronounced and let the small piece of chalk down. "It would burst like a balloon if we could use the Elements of Harmony on it."

She barely noticed Pinkie, Applejack and Fluttershy arriving. She did notice and was a bit glad they'd all resumed their normal appearance once the guards shut the doors. "So how did your idea go?"

"Discord has the, had the Elements," Fluttershy said, "Thanks Applejack, I like being myself again."

"Twern't nothing Fluttershy," Applejack said, "Little selfish on my part. I was startin' ta look at you that way. You're as handsome a buck as you are adorable a filly."

Fluttershy blushed but grinned.

"Why won't the Princess listen to us?" Pinkie asked, nearly tripped over Rainbow Dash, then realized Dash wasn't napping but wide awake. "Hey! I can give Dashie her wings back!" Pinkie said, and shied from Applejack and Twilight Breezy's stare. "With everypony's help of course."

"We aren't ponies anymore," Dash said.

Celestia arrived, and Twilight beamed as she displayed her work. "We can beat it, with the Elements. Once we get them."

"Ah, how misguided," Discord said as he arrived. He stared at the blackboards covered with Breezy-sized equations. He made a face and shook his head sadly. Then put it back on his neck.

Twilight looked from the equations to his dull expression and back. "What is it? What do you see!?" she demanded as she glared at him.

Discord sighed and looked at Celestia. "I see a rather dim child throwing a tantrum that the sparkly toy doesn't work after she murdered the previous owners, and that her betters somehow took their secrets to the grave." He looked at Celestia as she glared back at him, then he told Twilight, "That's what I see. A master parasite, a maggot feeling superior for feeding off a corpse."

Twilight was shocked, both with his comments, and that he had voiced such a low opinion of Princess Celestia.

"I have nothing to lose, more than I've already lost," Discord said to Twilight, "You weren't picked by Her Highness for your brilliance. Like her, you are a rather dull intellect. You were selected for your credulity and pliability to be molded by Her Highness. There's nothing special about you. She wanted a protegee incapable of asking the hard questions and thinking any thoughts Her Highness didn't put in there." He pointed at her head. "Your expertise in magic is that of a superb mechanic. Well able to play the notes, but unable to make the music. There is no original philosophy to anything you do or think." He gestured at the blackboard Twilight had spent hours slaving over. "Everything is a mere technical exercise of fitting it into the right box. The creativity, the ability to play with ideas or even new realms of knowledge is lacking in you."

Discord pointed at the others as they glared or growled at him. "She would have never picked Rarity, because a quick mind like that would wonder about the interplay of things she had never tried before. Would wonder about exceeding what had been done before or striking out into territories untrod by others. She wouldn't have picked Blueblood, who would always have space in his heart for himself and would wonder how something would redound on him. She wouldn't have Pinkie Pie or Applebloom, for whom play, and new ideas and experiences are to be embraced and mixed with existing lessons to create the new and unexpected."

Discord stared at Twilight as she withered under the lash of his scorn. "You merely want to understand what your betters have done. You are exactly who and what Celestia wants, a clockwork wind-up toy who will do as and only what she's told, will go as far as ordered but no farther, and will never demand any explanations or information beyond what has been provided. Applejack and Rainbow Dash I had to crush under the full weight of their Elements. Rarity I had to beguile with her love of beautiful things. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie I had to twist into a mirror opposite of who they were. But you, all I had to do was change the rules, and you flew apart like an overwound watch. It wasn't until Celestia retaught you all the things you supposedly learned on your own, then you recovered."

Twilight was near tears at the leaden delivery, and that Celestia hadn't spoken in her defense. Even Spike stared in pity at the Breezy and in fury at Discord.

"All of this is wrong, and meaningless, because it stems from an underlying lie," Discord said.

"Discord," Celestia said angrily.

"Oh please, even if I tell them, will they remember? Poor Dash seems the only one who is starting to remember. That airliner full of refugees."

Dash whimpered and drew her tail tighter around her body.

"But Pinkie and Applejack don't remember setting out food for starving fugitives, then potion bombing them while they ate. Twilight doesn't remember what she led her brother into against that group of tanks, or what she did to that team of operatives who were immune to the regular potion. Or what happened to all those scientists, ponies and humans, who were trying to develop a reversal formula. Poor Lyra and poor Trixie trying to reach 'the real you' or your 'better nature' while you were destroying them. Never realizing they were seeing the real you the entire time," Discord laughed as all the others stared at him in horror. "Poof, all gone, scrubbed clean."

Twilight felt a growing horror. She looked to Unicorn Spike, who wasn't looking at any pony in the room, but staring at the tip of his tail as is it were the most important thing there was.

Discord gestured at the chalkboards. "Do you wish any further help with your problem? I need to fix lunch." He stared at her. Waited until she shook her head. When she did, he excused himself.

"My Little Ponies," Celestia said quietly, "Don't believe his lies. Sowing discord is what he does."

Twilight smiled as she fluttered up to her equations and began spelling out her plan.

In the kitchen, Fluttershy confronted me. It made me glad she was my friend, and that it gave me a way to undo what Celestia had done to her and the others.

"Discord, why did you do that?" She glared at me.

"Because she wants what was never hers and demands the humans assist with her quest," Discord said, "None of you deserve what the intellectuals among the Newfoals know. And demanding they give it to you is not going to change their minds."

"What are you talking about?!" Fluttershy demanded as I made the sandwiches. Each pony got their favorites.

"Celestia told all of Equestria that humans couldn't survive here, because of the high magic? How did ponies survive there? How did drab nothings like Jet Set and Upper Crust, to say nothing of Flim and Flam suddenly become tank busters? How did mediocre fliers like Cloudkicker suddenly become able to dodge missiles coming in at mach five? Because Earth is filled to bursting with magic. Humans would starve to death if they came here. The reason they're so advanced is because they can imagine like blank-flank children, and organize better than Twilight. That's their magic. Are you honestly telling me that you, who has tea parties with bears, and pulls thorns from the paws of angry manticores, couldn't come up with a better solution for saving the humans than extermination? Please, my friend Fluttershy may be timid, but she's not stupid."

"No," Fluttershy said.

"Do you know why every Newfoal, every one, holds their foals close when you walk by? Or most when they just see you?"

"No," Fluttershy pleaded.

"Because you specialized in children," Discord told her.

"No," Fluttershy said and shied back.

"Oh, you were convinced that making them ponies was the kindest thing you could do for them. But even after the conditioning the Newfoals get, they still remember 'child-stealer'."

"No," Fluttershy said and shook her head, "I wouldn't." She raised her head. "Why are you doing this?"

"For the same reason I took the Elements and put them . . . never mind. I don't want you as part of the cannon fodder for Celestia's new war. Dash is starting to remember all the things that happened, all the terror, all the blood, and how joyous you were to be agents of it all. The Newfoals could have created a Krell machine to show all you ponies, all at once, what you're really like inside, but they didn't. They did not assist those who exterminated their culture for the crime of being nonequine in destroying themselves. They summoned a protector, one willing to negotiate and be gentle, to a point. Think about that. Ninety-thousand tons, ex nilhio, out of nothing. Completely alien biology, psychology and it all works. The Elements would be useless except to make him angry, and single you all out as targets."

Fluttershy had gone beyond tears into stunned incredulity by this point.

I knelt down and took her cheeks in my hands. "Fluttershy, I know it hurts, but understand, this is for the best. This is like cutting flesh to pull out an infested splinter. Except this splinter is in your mind, and the minds of your friends. Rainbow got hers pulled when she got transformed, and she may never recover. You and I are going to have to pull it out for the others. And it's going to hurt, and hurt a lot, if you're going to save Equestria."

"Save it?" Fluttershy asked.

"Do you think the other nations are going to accept being ponyfied? Do you think Celestia is going to stop with the humans?" I asked, "The Newfoals' protector just needs to know there's more people to protect than he was summoned to. That's what you and Applejack need to do."

Fluttershy nodded. "I - need to lie down."

"Can you take the sandwiches?" I handed her the platter and let her go.

12) Return To Sender

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Return To Sender by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Discord watched from a distance and felt the reminder of why he loved humans so much. Beyond their entertainment value, they were a form of chaos he had neglected. The Royal Guard were idiots. When they'd closed in on the 'coven' of Newfoals in the Badlands south of Appleoosa, who were attempting to escape by mass teleport to 'Newfoal Island', the raid should have gone off without a hitch. Adult Newfoals regularly lost snowball fights to native foals.

But the human technique of aikido 'the Way of the Harmonious Spirit' had been redeveloped for ponies. Since it emphasized not harming the opponent, the Newfoals' conditioning did not prevent them from becoming experts, or using it on the Royal Guards who'd come to arrest them. That they been surprised by Newfoals 'fighting back' was understandable, that they'd reacted with utter incompetence to facing skilled opponents was utterly inexcusable. And utterly hilarious.

The only injuries were to the pride of the Guards. The Guards were locked within a palisade made of their own armor and weapons. Then the Newfoals retreated into their compound, and erected a shield while the Guards freed themselves.

Now a human commander facing basically an uprising of Quakers would have stationed a platoon of soldiers, possibly with a forward observer for some light artillery, and left it at that. He would have trusted starvation to do his work for him.

Not so the Equestrian Royal Guard, not a direct slap in the face of Princess Celestia's authority, Discord thought as he watched the calls for reinforcements, Archmages to batter down the shield, and more troops to 'deal' with the revolt. Oh, it's too bad I can't show up, but I know, well I can guess, what those Newfoals are doing. They are either going ahead with their escape plan, or they are going to make the Guard slaughter them to the last mare and foal.

Discord grinned and prepared a few press releases about the incompetent Guards' action, and their reaction to being gently shown the door. And speculation about the Guards' actions. I'll play up the 'we're all friends and Equestrian' angle, so when the slaughter comes, it'll be that much more shocking. Oh, this is going to be wonderful! He giggled and erased the viewing plate.

"Oh those poor ponies of Celestia's inner circle, they'll have a perfect chance to show the Newfoals about peace and Harmony, and Celestia's forces will steamroller the Newfoals into a bloody mess, and I won't have to do a thing besides make sure everyone knows." His laughter literally shook him to pieces. "I love humans!"

"Then you should be on my side!" the unicorn shouted at Twilight-Breezy as she rode atop Unicorn Spike, "Those weirdos are an abomination that even Princess Celestia couldn't cure."

"Please," Twilight said, "They are ponies, like us. They are just having trouble settling in."

"Then throw them all out, don't 'let them go' to their damned island, round them up and throw them out!" another government minister shouted, "All of them! Damn blank-flank weirdos!"

Twilight looked around from angry face to angry face. All I suggested was that the Princess needed a little time to reason with them, Twilight thought as Spike's tail wrapped around her.

A moment later he leapt out of the circle and trotted out of the audience chamber with the baying pack at his heels.

"This is insane," Twilight said, "Those Newfoals are throwing a tantrum and the whole world starts going crazy."

Spike's silence bothered her. Too many of his increasingly infrequent responses lately had been monosyllabic.

"Spike, we'll find a way to turn you back into a dragon," she assured him.

He didn't react at all. Until he saw that Rarity dragon and Fluttercorn were coming in the other direction also making a hasty retreat to their quarters. Then he broke into a gallop so they'd arrive in tight sequence. With his hooves being the last thing the pursuers saw before the door slammed in their faces.

Twilight reinforced the locking spell on the door and looked around. Applejack, who'd remained behind, was looking utterly despondent. Discord was sipping tea beside her, and fending Pinkiecord from the small barrel of cider that was the keystone of the 'care package' from Ponyville.

"I said wait until the others have arrived," Discord said, "And each of you can have some." He leaned over to Dash. "Even you."

Even the promise of Sweet Apple Acre's cider didn't raise the former pegasus' spirits.

"I was just telling Applejack about what a marvelous job Applebloom and Big Mac are doing running the farm. How proud she should be of them stepping up and growing up," Discord said, "And how they want her to come for a visit as soon as she can."

Twilight was about to congratulate her, when she noted that hearing that drove Applejack deeper into depression.

"Well, must go. I know I'm a damper on you having a really, special party," Discord said and vanished.

"They don't need me no more," Applejack said as she stared at her hooves. She took off her Stetson and turned it around in her hooves. "I guess I need to send this to Applebloom. It's fer who runs Sweet Apple Acres after all."

Before she could react, Applejack vanished, leaving the hat behind on the care package. The door to her room closed and a magical field formed over it.

"Has everypony gone crazy?" Twilight asked, "Who said anything about giving up our lives?"

Rarity gave Twilight a tolerant look. "You were always the Princess' protege. Applejack and I were independent businessmares." She sighed. "At least Applejack has someone to take over her business."

"Rarity, I'm so sorry," Twilight said, "I'm sure if you asked the Princess, you could go home."

"Fluttershy and I were coming from an audience with Princess Luna." Rarity raised herself up. "The crowns' needs must override your own. At least Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo have been doing a fair job looking after Fluttershy's animals. I've already had an offer for the boutique. I think it's best if I take it."

"Why is this happening?" Twilight asked.

For some reason, Rainbow started laughing. Really laughing. Even Pinkie moved away from her as the creepy laughter continued. The sudden stop was even eerier. A hint of the old Rainbow looked out at them from the earth pony with the multicolored mane and tail. "Why? Because we aren't people. We are the Elements of Harmony, Celestia's Hammer. The moment we found those things, we lost our right to do as we chose. I was NEVER going to be a Wonderbolt while I was a Bearer." She looked at Rarity. "You always knew you'd be yanked away from your shop on missions." She stared at Twilight. "And you were willing to do anything, just because the princess asked. The missions were more important than our lives. This is just us all realizing it." Rainbow walked off to her room and slammed the door.

Twilight looked around and realized nopony, nobody, would look at her.

I looked at the skies and watched the pegasi and airships scatter. The attack on the Newfoal flotilla had ended, but I was beginning to think these attacks, and the increasing size and scale of these refugee flotillas was to prevent me from relieving the force in the Badlands. The one rescue mission I was able to achieve was the Baltimare coven who summoned me in the first place. Why them? Pure numbers. One-hundred eighty-five in the Badlands, eight-hundred and seventy-three in the Baltimare camp.

On a darker note, I know that the coming massacre in the Badlands would cover up the same kind of massacre in Baltimare. It's numbers, pure unfeeling numbers. The news media was talking up the plans for negotiations. With Celestia demanding as a first condition that they drop the shield and submit to her authority. The obvious question then is 'what bargaining chips do they have in the resulting negotiations?' I thought as I watched the boats heading for the 'safety' of Newfoal Island. The Royal Guard had been probing the defenses, trying to discover what will be the threat level when they do invade, and to numb the populace. The problem was that they learned those tactics from Human members of the Guard. The locals knew those tactics too. And so do I. I've 'dropped in' on their camps, outside their coastal cities, and near a few of their dormant volcanoes. The message is clear, they don't have a monopoly on terror raids, and my escalation will be to depopulate a large swath of their country. Actually, it will be to level their capital, kill every noble there and annihilate any army in the field. The nobles were more horrified by the idea of 'the sheep' living on without them than the loss of any amount of the sheep. It's good to periodically line the ruling elite up against the wall and shoot them. It's the only lesson too many politicians understand. Watering the Tree of Liberty with the blood of tyrants and patriots.

I knew it would eventually come down to destroying Celestia. But I first wanted to destroy her standing with the average Equestrian. To make her display the ruthlessness she and her troops did on Earth. Without the Barrier, the news would flow to the average ponies. Without the Barrier, questions will be raised, and will have to be answered, officially denied, or officially ignored. I was hoping for a cover up, those always lead to more uncomfortable questions and more dissatisfaction and distrust.

Ashore, the group on watch settled into their nightly routine. They don't huddle in the cold with binoculars, but in groups around scrying pools and crystal balls. They also retained one pony characteristic: they sing. Patriotic songs at first, then movie themes, then more popular tunes were sung. I doubt Guns and Roses was meant for choral arrangement, but they make it work. That alone was a bit of human defiance. The human music had not been forgotten. The pony conditioning made them sing like a Busby Berkeley stage event, but that seemed a fair trade off to hearing the old songs again.

Of course they had to sing Blue Oyster Cult's Go Go Godzilla at least once every night. Such is my fate, I thought, I would prefer Mothra's Song actually, but no one sings that.

In the halls where the leaders had gathered every night since the Badlands situation began, they went over plans of what they could do. As the days passed, as more refugees took advantage of the Guard's distraction, as the few guards available became more ruthless, the conclusion became 'nothing'.

13) Hard Headed Woman

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Hard Headed Woman by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The airship commander was preparing to disgorge its cargo of armed pegasi. Dozens of similar airship 'carriers' were in tight formation. Their night attack would put an end to the exodus. She had considerable experience in these attacks from the 'Earth War' as they called it.

"Sir, are we getting an escort?" her lieutenant asked as she scanned the darkness below them with a powerful telescope. "There's pegasi way below us, lots of them."

The commander displaced her lieutenant and scanned the force. "None was authorized."

"What is that?" the helmsmare asked, staring as the giant, glowing, floating, reptilian head that seemed poised to consume the entire air armada.

Fleetfoot missed her uniform. But she knew that once her part in this stunt was made public, she'd be thrown out. Better to leave quietly, she thought as she looked into the darkness at the collection of ponies she'd assembled once she'd learned of the 'seek and destroy' mission that had been aimed at the massive emigration fleet that had been assembled. Every boat and coaster had been bought, begged or borrowed for a massive sealift from every town and fishing village on the Western Ocean. It was allowed, so the Guard could hunt down and destroy the fleet in deep water, Fleetfoot thought, How have we fallen so far?

She looked at the pegasi, the occasional thestral, griffon, even some unicorns on flying carpets who flew above the armada, as close escort. No, not all of us, she thought then looked at the immense head, far larger that Godzilla's entire body. What is that for?

The head spoke loud enough for everyone to hear clearly. "Soon we shall be engaged in battle. To protect our fellow citizens, we must fire on our fellow citizens. This is the price of liberty. Long live Liberty!"

Fleetfoot watched the head wink out, and looked at the airships, shadows occluding the stars high above. Instead of the tremendously powerful war machines they had been, they suddenly looked small and delicate. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around, she thought as the airships plodded forward.

The bolt was almost too bright to look at. Fleetfoot cringed at the damage something like that would do to an airship. It continued on past the ships, and she thought it had missed.

Then she heard the noise of the explosion. The airships aren't going down, what's happening? she wondered as more bolts raced up to the airship fleet and more thunderous booms shook the pegasi escorts.

The last of the windows of the control gondola shattered. Several of the crew had minor cuts and scratches, but nopony was seriously hurt.

"It's missing?" the helmsmare shouted.

The entire airship shook as the 'miss' exploded near enough the ship that its 1000+ ton mass shifted violently.

"I think it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do," the commander shouted back. "Our shields might deflect that beam, but they can't completely tune out the noise or the shockwave, or we'd suffocate." She grabbed the sound powered phone, a Newfoal innovation. "Pegasi commander?"

"The commander's out cold, what kind of storm are you flying us through?" came the reply.

"Godzilla seems to be shooting at us," the commander shouted.

"Well get us out of here, most of us have minor injuries, and about a quarter are iffy on flying. If this beast rips open, we'll be too busy rescuing our own to help your crew."

"Understood," the commander said and hung up.

The commander shook as several more blasts exploded nearby, the fierce wind was racing through the gondola, and the other ships were similarly affected. "Signal for withdraw," she ordered.

"Commander, we have no orders," the lieutenant said.

"You can report me later, but that thing has us down 25% without scoring any hits. We press on, it may decide to sharpen its marksmanship. I don't even know if the shield spell is holding."

The lieutenant was a fanatical believer in Celestia, but even he saw throwing the squadron away as useless. "When the Guard finishes off those troublemakers in the Badlands, we'll be back."

"With more ships and better shields," the commander agreed and watched the lieutenant signal the other ships to turn away. "This one is yours. Next time, oh, next time."

Fleetfoot watched the airships begin turning, and the fire from the speck in the distance stopped. She let out a breath and smiled.

"Did we win?" the wall-eyed pegasus who was carrying a unicorn foal of all things asked, Fleetfoot was ready to say 'yes'.

Then one of the airships suddenly pointed its nose straight up rather than turning.

"Damn," Fleetfoot whispered then shouted, "Seems we're doing rescue now." She looked at the worried, mother pegasus. "Get down there, get anything that can fly, we've got to rescue that ship, and failing that, we have to evacuate the crew and troopers."

The pegasus saluted and dove for the deck. Fleetfoot raced upwards with the entire escort to wrestle the airship into a correct trim. As she looked in horror, the ship was straight up, nose high, and was slowly descending tail-first. They'll never recover from that, without help.

Help was coming in the form of the 'rebel' escorts, and thousands of fliers from below.

" 'The best way I can describe this vast armada and the frantic urgency of the traffic is to suggest that you visualize Manehatten on its busiest day of the year and then just enlarge that scene until it takes in all the ocean a pony's eye can reach clear around the horizon and over the horizon. There are dozens of times that many,'" Applejack read, "I never heard of this Earny Piles fella." No one in the palatial apartments responded to the description of the 'armada', or their rescue of the force sent to destroy them. The Mane 6 glanced around in shame.

"I'm shocked that there could have been that many boats," Spike said to try to lighten the mood, "I didn't know Equestria had so many."

"Well, they've got them now," Applejack said, "Mighty neighborly of them Newfoals to rescue the airships that were planning on swatting them down like flies." Shamed silence answered Applejack's attempts to break the atmosphere of mortification.

Discord appeared among them. "Oh goodie! You're reading the news. I just had to make sure you saw the other events that were taking place last night." He gestured and the lights went off, everyone in the room had a large bowl of popcorn. Twilight's was only the size of a cupcake, but she could have almost taken a bath in the bowl.

As they got comfortable, Discord sang.

"In the south part of the badlands, with an Appleloosa tone,
There's a fortress all in ruins that the weeds have overgrown.
You may look in vain for markers and you'll never see a one,
But sometime betwixt the rising and the setting of the sun,
You can hear a ghostly bugle as the ponies all march by;
You can hear them as they answer to that roll call in the sky:
Sprawling Trellis, Shining Dancer and a hundred eighty more;
Glinting Carapace, Fred Mule, present and accounted for.

Out on Newfoal Island there, 'zilla said to Trellis:
"Get some volunteers and go, occupy El Dorado."
Well, the 'foals came from 'Hoover and from Manehat' city,
And they joined up with Trellis just to stand for the right to be free."

There was some mechanical clattering and an image formed in the middle of them. It showed Celestia giving orders. The subtitles read 'Blah Blaw Blah, Bleagh.' Shining Armor saluted and formed a shield over the shield the Newfoal camp already had.

"That makes no sense," Rarity said.

Discord shushed her and sang some more.

"Stallions with their staffs ashine, mares with hooves and shoulders,
Stood together heel and toe to defend El Dorado.
"You may never see your loved ones," Trellis told them that day.
"Those that want to can leave now, those who'll fight to the death, let 'em stay."

In the sand she drew a line with the thing that named her,
Out of a hundred eighty five, not a soldier crossed the line.
With her banners a-dancin' in the dawn's golden light,
Ole Celestia came prancin' with a heart that was black as the night.

Sent an officer to tell Trellis to surrender.
Trellis answered with a shell and a rousin' rebel yell.
Ole' Celestia turned scarlet: "Play Degello," she roared.
"I will show them no quarter, everyone will be put to the sword."

Celestia fired a bolt of light. It easily penetrated both shields. A small patch of thatch on a house caught fire. Celestia fired again and again, setting more of the roofs on fire and setting those inside scrambling to contain the fires. But with Celestia's power, there were too many. The smoke began to fill the dome.

Discord sang.

"One hundred and eighty five holdin' off five times that.
Five days, six days, eight days, ten; Trellis held and held again.
Then she sent for replacements for her wounded and lame,
But the troops that were comin' never came, never came, never came.

Twice she charged, then blew recall. On the fatal third time,
Ole Celestia breached the wall and she killed them one and all.
Now the bugles are silent and they lay where they're gored,
And the small band of soldiers lie asleep in the arms of The Lord."

The inner shield dropped, and the smoke filled Shining Armor's shield. Other archmages began firing into the shield, duplicating Celestia's spell while she reinforced Shining Armor's shield.

"No," Twilight said as she covered her eyes.

The Newfoals cast counterspells, threw themselves against the shield, and one even held up a sign offering unconditional surrender. The smoke became too thick to see individual targets. The archmages quit firing.

"Good thing nopony ever taught them fire-resistance or air purifying spells," Discord said, "Or none of this would have worked."

"No," Twilight sobbed as Spike comforted her. Pinkie set her popcorn aside and curled up in a ball on the floor. Applejack kept staring at the image with an expression of desolation. Rainbow just frowned and watched it, ignoring her popcorn. Rarity and Fluttershy stared at it, as if trying to memorize every bit of the event.

"Oh, Sparkle, you have to watch," Discord called, "This is the best part!" When Twilight didn't, he snapped his fingers and Twilight hung before the screen with her eyes wide open.

"No!" Twilight wailed as Armor dropped the shield and the dozens of smoldering fires suddenly roared to life, setting everything in the town ablaze.

Discord sang.

In the south part of the badlands, with an Appleloosa tone,
Like a statue of a Pinto rides a cowmare all alone.
And she sees her cattle grazin' where a mere few weeks before,
Ole Celestia's horn was blazin' and the Guardsmares used to roar.
And her eyes turn sort of misty, and her heart begins to glow,
And she takes her hat off slowly to the dead of Dorado.
To the thirteen days of glory at the siege of Dorado.

Discord gestured and Twilight Breezy returned to Spike's care. "I don't understand what you're upset about. My singing is quite good, and your brother took care of all those evil separatists, without a single pony life being endangered. He'll probably get a stained-glass window right beside yours."

"No!" Twilight moaned as she curled up in a ball on Spike's back.

"Oh, it's not like this is new. They could have been spared all of this, if they'd just surrendered like good, little ponies when Celestia first showed up. You know that and so do I. At least their children might have survived."

"There. Were. Children. In there," Rarity gasped.

"Of course," Discord said, "Family is such a comfort in times of trouble and confusion. I left that out of the song to not upset ponies. I can imagine how Sweetie Belle must be feeling as your noble ruler obliterates these unscrupulous renegades, who rescued a Guards' airship from a disaster. A Guards' airship sent to sink their boats and leave them adrift on a nighttime sea to drown or be eaten."

Rarity looked like she might be joining Twilight in the fetal position.

"Don't forget to be ready to cheer Shining's incomparable victory over incredible odds. Tah," Discord said as he vanished.

"No," Twilight whimpered as she drew her limbs in tight against her body.

Author's Note

Ballad of El Dorado, based on Marty Robbins - Ballad of the Alamo

14) Love Me Tender

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Love Me Tender by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The tasks, if they were done, were done in a desultory fashion. The few 'prisoner/defectors' were allowed to walk amongst the regular people, and except for their reaction to him, were indistinguishable from the Newfoal populace. The Ballad of El Dorado had arrived with a few newcomers, and the shock of the events depressed everyone.

Godzilla carved on a flat piece of stone. The quote by Richard Boone from John Wayne's The Alamo seemed appropriate. Odd, I wonder if Discord knew that I'd feel this way, and that Richard Boone voiced Smaug in The Hobbit cartoon?

He finished carving and carefully made his way toward the center of one of the major parks. What energy there was in the town, was expending itself in angry exchanges over whether the 'government' should have sent aid to the 'El Dorado' siege. Ignoring the fact that their sole military asset had been fully involved defending refugees.

The people scattered at his angry growl. Even they were loathe to face their defender in anger. He carefully placed the stone between the 'government' ponies, and the protesters. Then he pointed to it, insisting both sides read it.

I hope they understand that the decision . . . the decisions, that each side made, had a rational reason in the calculus of war, he thought as the ponies looked from the stone, to each other, then to him. The crowds came forward and then dispersed.

'Tomorrow, when your troubles make you whine and bellyache, you tell them that a hundred and eighty-five of their friends . . . neighbors . . . fellow citizens, holed themselves up in a crumbling fortress in the Equestrian Badlands, buying them this precious time. I hope you remember. I hope Humanity remembers "

Rainbow hadn't attended the gala welcome for the Princess and the returning army. The number of ponies who'd turned out to cheer for all of them left a sour taste in Rainbow's mouth. She knew better than most how harmless that pack of Newfoals was.

And Celestia just stomped on them like a poisonous snake in her baby's crib, she thought as she walked through the prison cells.

"Hey Fleetfoot, long time no see," Rainbow said to the despondent pegasus in the cell.

"Here to gloat?" Fleetfoot said, then stared, "What happened to your wings?"

"Same thing that happened to your aggressiveness. Potioned right off," Rainbow said, and wished she could feel the bitterness that such a loss deserved. "All you can feel is happy, or empty. Not much of a choice. But I'm still a war hero, so they let me in to taunt the prisoner. Hooray me."

"Is this what's to happen to anyone who doesn't hoof the line?" Fleetfoot asked.

Rainbow fished through her mane. "You want to stay and find out?" she asked as she held the key to the cell.

Fleetfoot's eyes widened. "We'll never get past the guards. Even a war hero."

"Full marks," Rainbow said, "You already figured it out?"

"We're both Newfoals, there's only one place left for us."

"Okay, I've got a question for you, from the same guy who told me how to get out of here. 'Are you more loyal to what Equestria is supposed to be, or who embodies it? Are you willing to struggle to prove a lie, or are you going to insist on the truth?' Sometimes the guy is so random he goes through the other side and comes up in profound," Rainbow said.

"If you mean, do I want to live the lie that Equestria, and ponies, are about love and friendship, yes. If you mean, do I want to strive to make it the truth, versus what we really have been, then yes a thousand times," Fleetfoot said and approached the bars. In her eyes was a fire Rainbow envied with her entire soul, for there was nothing like it in her anymore. "They came. Ponies who were trying to kill them. They came in their thousands on the word of me and a couple of other pegasi. The whole crew of that airship would have died. But they wouldn't let it. People who'd been out to kill them, and they wouldn't let them die. You better believe I want to be part of that. That's not being a Newfoal, they have a spark that ponies never have had. Maybe that's what frightened Celestia about them so much. There was danger to other, and they charged towards it! They didn't faint or panic, they charged!"

"Okay, I get it," Rainbow said, "But keep your voice down." She unlocked the cell door.

"How do we get out?" Fleetfoot asked.

"They'll catch us if we go the way I entered, so instead we go deeper in," Rainbow said, "Discord promised we'd be needed."

" 'Needed', in the catacombs, what could be in there?" Fleetfoot asked as she trotted beside Rainbow.

"Something besides celebrating ponies," Rainbow said as they followed Discord's paw prints, and walked into the darkness.

Discord burst into the apartments the Mane 6 had shared. Twilight Breezy and Unicorn Spike were the only ones in evidence. "Ah, no disguise magic, can't have the others Equestrians learn you aren't a pony anymore," he said.

Spike stepped up. "Discord, not now. Haven't you done enough?"

"Mou? I didn't potion bomb hospitals. I didn't mastermind the brilliant idea of setting up 'safe zones' that were then crushed under the full weight of the Princess' forces." He brushed Spike aside and towered over the distraught Twilight. "I didn't skip out on my own brother's wedding, just to ensure the Smithsonian Institute was destroyed before its treasures could be evacuated."

Twilight cringed at that. All of them had begun to remember what they'd done during the war, and more importantly how they'd felt about doing it. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just to remind you of why neither your brother nor his blushing bride have any time for you," Discord said, "And, just maybe, to offer you a chance at redemption."

"Why would you do that?" Spike asked.

"Because I'm a great guy!" Discord said, and then his eyes narrowed, "And I rather enjoy showing you 'morally superior' ponies what monsters you are when the cultural restrictions come off. Your big sis has bloodied her own hoovseys far beyond anything I ever did. With just her rather minuscule powers and sense of righteous poniness, all in only a couple years. So yes, I enjoy rubbing their noses in the fact they haven't evolved from the ponies who obliterated their old home with war and ice. For all their claims to the contrary. Harmony might be a wonderful thing, but cancer doesn't fight itself either."

"What do you want me to do?" Twilight asked.

"Same thing I asked Rainbow Dash when I sent her on her mission, are you more loyal to what Equestria is supposed to be, or who embodies it? Are you willing to struggle to prove a lie, or are you going to insist on the truth?" Discord asked, "Same for you, Spike, although you actually do live the lie, of peace and friendship to alien beings." Discord made a disgusted face.

"I lost my mother a long time ago," Spike said quietly, "All I have left are my friends." He looked over at Twilight. The Breezy was almost literally running in circles as she struggled with the question of Equestrian ideals, or Celestia.

Finally she looked at Spike. "I'll go with you. I - I can't abandon all Celestia taught me, but she's lied about so much, I can't know what's right and what's wrong anymore."

Spike sighed and stared at Discord. "I don't trust you, but I want to rescue my friends."

"Good enough," Discord said and extended a paw. Spike buffered Twilight in the coils of his tail, and took Discord's paw with his hoof.

They were instantly plunged into darkness.

"Discord!" Twilight squealed.

"My bad."

"Is someone out there?" came another voice. A faint light appeared around Discord, illuminating the area.

"Princess Cadence!" Twilight shouted and fluttered free of Spike's tail. "Cadence, it's me, Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!"

Cadence looked at Discord. "Is this a trick?"

"Yes, but not on you," Discord said, "Just a reminder of what you giving up has cost the world."

Cadence hung her head. "What else was I to do?"

"Take Celestia off the damn pedestal you all put her on and start living as if she didn't matter," Discord said, anger and frustration tinging his words, "You see evil, but unless Celestia approves of the crusade, you all stand around to be mowed down. Stand on your own for once."

"Then they'd stand up against you," Spike said.

"What do you think I wanted!?" Discord shouted back, "Do you know how tedious it was making my own fun all that time?"

Spike shut his mouth with a snap and just glared at Discord.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake," Twilight said, and grinned as Cadence seemed to come to life. The pair nuzzled.

"It is you," Cadence said.

"Ah, heartwarming," Discord said, and made gagging gestures.

"If I could still breathe fire, I give you heartwarming," Spike said.

"Ah, good, honest hatred," Discord said, and kissed Spike, "You don't know how I've missed that. And, so wonderful that none of you has said 'we have to tell Celestia about this', because you all suspect she not only knows, but approves." He grinned as all of them looked at each other in dismay.

"You are correct. What now?" Cadence said, "I've explored the entire cavern, there's no way out they haven't blocked."

"Patience. Try not giving up, this time," Discord said and put a paw to his ear.

Twilight was about to say something, when Spike waved a hoof at her. They all listened.

"Why'd I ever trust him, this is the stupidest, ewww! spider webs!" came a very familiar voice. "Yeah laugh, you're just lucky there's no spiders in them." A door opened about 20 feet from them, "What -?"

" 'Whatever made me trust Discord?'" Discord said, "I add a little spice, a little adventure to your lives and all you do is complain." He pointed at the stunned Rainbow Dash and Fleetfoot who'd arrived through a hidden door in the cavern wall. "What you do, is follow the intrepid explorers, back down the corridor, through the maze of spider-infested corridors, to a branching tunnel where . . . eh, who am I kidding?" He snapped his fingers.

The entire group was standing beside a wall of ice, which wasn't so intimidating as what occupied the rest of the vista. The ponies, and once-ponies looked up, and up and up.

The growl they heard was not encouraging.

"Yo, G-ster! Can the D-man deliver or what?" Discord asked.

They were treated to the sight of the latest nemesis of Equestria doing a face palm.

15) Party

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Party by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Rarity-dragon, disguised as a pony, sat beside Princess Cadence, just down the table from Prince Shining Armor and Princess Celestia herself. The horror, this is. The. Worst. Possible. Thing. I'm bored. These, the glittering jewels of Equestrian Royalty, are boring! Where is the refined thrust and riposte of conversation and wit? Even Applejack at her mulish 'down home'ness can still hold her own with the linguistic give and take, jab and parry, even the kick and gouge. But these ponies are dull!

Applejack looking entirely pony was barely picking at her meal, and she was returning the occasional glare from Princess Cadence with one of greater intensity of her own.

I can't for the life of me understand what they're fighting over. Even Prince Armor is boring, Rarity thought, And I had so hoped Prince Blueblood was an anomaly.

Even Pinkie Pie is being well behaved, she thought, It's as if everyone is afraid of saying the wrong thing. That's it! Celestial may have proven her power, but she's also proven her ruthlessness. Our transformation may be kept secret from the populace, but those whose business it is to be in the know probably have enough facts to sift through the rumors. The nobles are wondering if they're next.

"Prince Blueblood, what do you think of the events of the last few days?" Rarity asked the stallion sitting across the table and a few chairs down. By some signal Rarity for all her social climbing prowess couldn't detect, the entire hall fell silent.

Blueblood looked from Rarity, to Armor, and finally settled on Celestia. "A brilliant campaign, masterfully planned, and superbly executed. A perfect mix of diplomacy and military skill." He chuckled nervously, but the diners returned to their meals and conversations.

Rarity felt eyes upon her, for once she treasured the fact she was regarded as a parvenu. She giggled. "Of course, I knew that. I was referring to the dreadful action over the Western Sea. The expedition to wipe out the emigres on the open sea, then had to rely on them for rescue."

Blueblood was visibly sweating now. His eyes went straight to Celestia this time, and all but the hardiest stared at their plates. Pinkie helped herself to Applejack's untouched food and happily, though mannerly, gobbled it down.

Blueblood cleared his throat. "We must take stock of what has happened and be prepared for two courses: first, to throw another team across the sea immediately, to remind them that where they are squatting is pony property."

"Aren't they ponies?" Rarity asked.

Embarrassed silence answered her more eloquently than any orator. "Forgive my ignorance, please do go on. Step two?". Her stomach sank as the others forgave her faux pas and awaited Blueblood.

"The second is to improve the capabilities of our ships, to either evade the creature, or batter through. I'm certain their Highnesses and Captain Armor are hard at work, or already have a strategy. But lose lips sink ships," he said and chuckled again, with the nervousness of a colt awaiting his final grades.

Celestia gave him a passing one, barely. She also gave a sympathetic look at Rarity, as if her new condition explained her intellectual or social incapacity. Applejack looked at Rarity as if she'd just wrestled a Timberwolf with her bare hooves.

Rarity made her decision. There is no place for me here anymore, she thought, and realized that Applejack seemed to have come to the same conclusion. I wonder if she realizes she's thinking those thoughts about Equestrian, or is she just thinking of Canterlot?

Twilight looked over the 'barricade' formed by Unicorn-Spike's protectively coiled tail at the crowds of ponies below. "I don't think they're happy to see us."

"Oh pish-tosh," Discord said, "People are never happy to see me, but their lives are always so much better for having met me."

"Really," Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh come now, a stained-glass window in Canterlot, finding how much your friends care for you, what's not to love?" Discord said, and looked over the edge of Godzilla's palm. "Wow, what a long way down. And you're right Sparkle, they don't look happy. You could send Spike down, no he looks too much like an Alicorn now."

"Never thought there'd be a time that would be an insult," Spike said. "I think I'll trust where our chauffeur is taking us."

Godzilla set them down among a crowd of otherwise ordinary Newfoals. Then Twilight looked into their eyes and saw a fire there usually missing from Newfoals, rare among ponies, but the humans she had begun to remember fighting had it without exception.

"If our courts had standing, you would all be tried for war crimes," the leader said. The surreal calmness of the Newfoal made him infinitely more frightening. He had passed through the rage that Newfoals were denied, and would logically and dispassionately dispense justice. No species subjected to what ponies had done would have any other reaction, but death.

"Point of order," Discord said, "While I fully understand 'I was only following orders' is not considered a defense, the accused must be able to understand that their crimes are wrong, or at least unacceptable to the 'common man' at the time they were committed. Everyone here has felt the effect of Equestrian alchemy, none of you have faced the Elements of Harmony, nor Celestia's powers. As one who has suffered both, I can assure you that temporary insanity should be taken into consideration."

Twilight was stunned that Discord of all people had come to their aid.

"That is not to say that actions here in Equestria and on Earth don't deserve punishment. But I think community service will satisfy the judicial part, and the specific community service will more than fulfill any desire for revenge."

"What community service could do that?" the leader asked, "The populace is rather peeved, and even more upset they can only be peeved at such an outrage against the mind, body and soul of an entire species."

"A full and comprehensive understanding of the crime committed, not just against Humanity, but against the Harmony of the entire Earth," Discord said, "And she was the leader of the Element Bearers. Rainbow Dash was a member."

Twilight began wondering if Discord had saved them from the fire, merely to throw them to the wolves. Then she realized that Cadence and Fleetfoot were not garnering the looks she and Dash were. He told them about Fleetfoot and Cadence? Twilight wondered, How did I never know about Cadence?

The leader nodded and the ponies withdrew to canvas among themselves.

"Discord, we don't have -" Twilight started, only for Discord to shush her.

"There are things it is better not to know," Discord said.

A pony approached Discord with what looked like a portfolio. Several other ponies with portfolios or sketchbooks waited in the wings. "Come, come, she won't bite. Except me, and I kind of like it," Discord said, nauseating Twilight.

"We've got some designs for the columns for the museum, Discord, sir," the filly said as she opened her portfolio. Several others approached and displayed their work. Discord suddenly started whining and dancing like a duck in a skillet.

"Oh, Sparkley Poo, they're all so good, I just can't decide!" he Discord said.

Twilight looked at them and realized these kids all had real talent. Despite being blank flanks to a pony. The drawing, and even photos of sculptures were all Discord either as or interacting with a pillar. They went from Discord in thoughtful contemplation, to him blowing a raspberry at someone. Twilight smirked. "Why not use them all," she said, "There's only got to be a few hundred."

"Oh Sparkley Poo, that's why I love you," Discord said as he looked at every sketchbook and portfolio and tried to absorb all the designs. Then he gestured. If not for the flash of his magic, she wouldn't have seen it. A mountain was suddenly cleared of snow and ice, and a huge building appeared atop it. In the distance, it looked vaguely like a pair of octopuses on a termite mount, limbs draped seemingly at random on the flanks of the mountain. "There. One museum. Nobody can say Discord does not deliver."

A couple of the ponies gasped. Some fell at his feet and cry happy tears. Some galloped a short distance towards the build before they realized how far away it was. A couple kept cantering, some galloped off in all directions. Cadence looked into the distance and cantered along with one group. No one tried to stop her. Not so when Spike tried to follow.

"So, Discord, what's the real point of this 'community service'?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Just a moment, guards, relax." Discord looked at his wrist. "Three, two, one."

Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy all appeared in their midst. The guards tensed, but on Discord's glance and pointing his thumb at the 100,000 ton 'elephant' in the room, they relaxed.

Fluttershy squealed with delight, became an Alicorn-stallion from her disguise as pegasus mare, and raced up the side of Godzilla. She landed on his head and let out a sigh. "Thank you for looking after my friends."

Twilight's jaw dropped as Fluttershy had a conversation with the monster.

"Yes, I know they are prisoners, but I think we can still be glad they are being treated well." Fluttershy paused to 'listen', then replied, "Well, I do." She snuggled down on top of the creature's head. "I haven't felt this safe and loved since the butterfly swarm. Maybe my community service can be as your interpreter."

Discord grumped. "It's always the famous movie star who gets the prettiest girl."

"Discord?" Fluttershy called down, "What are buy-planes? And who is Fay Rae?"

Twilight giggled as Discord facepalmed. "What I really mind is she's going to ask me to be one of the maids of honor," Discord said.

Twilight was back to being stunned.

"Them?" Rarity said as she stared up at Godzilla's head and his talking hat, "Fluttershy seems to enjoy his company, but I don't even see as how they'd be compatible."

"Rarity," Appleling said to the dragon, "Immortal, master spellcaster?"

Rarity blushed. "Oh, dear," Rarity said softly.

Rainbow shook her head to try to discard the image there. "Okay, can we get back to the community service?"

"You want your wings back?" Discord asked.

Rainbow Dash stared at him like a starving door at a steak.

"You want to really understand flying in a way that you never could before?" Discord asked.

"How is any of that a punishment?" Rainbow asked.

"Simple, you're tied in with the Earth, and I don't mean dirt. Mind, body and soul," Discord said, "You stop being a pony."

"If I can fly, that's okay. What's the real catch?" Rainbow asked.

"There is an egg involved," Discord said.

A low rumble shook the area, like a weak earthquake. It took most of them a moment to realize that Godzilla was laughing.

16) New Guardian, With Peanut Gallery

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
New Guardian, With Peanut Gallery by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Cadence walked with the frightened colts and fillies who'd made the journey. She offered comfort that she could. She could feel their curiosity, dread and terror. But over it all, she could feel their love. They passed more masterpieces than existed in every museum in Equestria, yet they pressed on. Some stopped for a moment to gaze at a painting or sculpture, before bursting out with happy tears. Then they galloped a short distance to catch up with the herd. Their leader had eyes for nothing but his eventual goal. He cantered on, as if drawn by a path only he could see.

We destroyed all of this, Cadence thought, Why? What is so threatening about this? We've had 'mad artists' of our own. Couldn't Celestia have told that lie, and let us keep this?

Their leader slowed. He shied back. "I - I can't," he admitted.

Cadence looked at all the Newfoals who likewise seemed to have lost all their courage. Time for Cadence the Foalsitter! she thought and grabbed the leader by the scruff of the neck and dragged him, scrabbling hooves and all, into the room.

If the building was a temple to Human art, this was a holy of holies. Discord had made little homages to himself everywhere else. Signs indicating direction had Discord pointing, the bathrooms were labels with Discord, or Discord in a skirt. But here, he had touched nothing, as if realizing he was so outclassed, he didn't want to invite comparison. The very starkness of the room made the art stand out all the more. A few books in display cases, the sculptures were masterpieces each and every one. But the paintings, oh the paintings, Cadence thought, then fixed on one in particular, her jaw dropped, incidently dropping the terrified colt. He scrambled to join the cloud who sheltered in her wake and stared at the painting in religious awe.

Cadence approached, the Newfoals staying close behind her. "You knew?" she asked the oddly smiling woman in the painting, "You knew you'd win? We'd grind Humanity into dust and you'd make us you! You knew! You were what Celestia was so afraid of?"

Cadence fell over and laughed for the first time in months.

Twilight recognized the Baltimare circle of mages. They were scattered among the huge crowd. Odd that Appleling, Fluttercorn, Pinkiecord and Rarity the Dragon are all accepted as part of the ceremony. 'To ensure the best of their friends carries over.' I want to tell them magic doesn't work this way, but I feel the power, she thought as the crowd sang a song together, even Godzilla was humming along.

She glanced at Fleetfoot who stood at her side, and Rainbow who lay quite a distance away. They both smiled. The pair had no misgivings or doubts. Twilight kept wondering if her sacrifice would spare Equestria, would somehow balance the scales between the two worlds. Am I good enough? she wondered, oddly it had been Discord who'd explained, 'None of these deeply flawed beings will demand you be perfect, except the idiots who never do anything themselves. And the humans have a tremendous ability to accept the apologies of the truly contrite. Accept their forgiveness, and their help. They also like a bit of weakness in their heros. Makes them 'more human." But can I really do what needs doing?

Fleetfoot nudged her, and pointed to her own ear.

Right, just listen to the song, feel it, like an Equestrian song, she thought and let the music take her away, and do what needed to be done.

It was the touch of Fleetfoot's mind that told her the spell was working. That awareness and Fleetfoot's boundless enthusiasm gave her confidence. She felt the touch of Rainbow's mind, and felt Rainbow's filly-like terror at messing this up. She felt both herself and Fleetfoot give Rainbow confidence. Rainbow relaxed, and let the magic do its work.

Discord watched the goings on. He'd left the circle when he couldn't contain his giggles any longer. The humans had meshed Harmony and Chaos magic. And done it seamlessly, even made them complementary. He took a moment to consider and enjoy the absolute fit Celestia would have when she found out. But he realized there was someone else who would need to know.

He stood in the grove of the Tree of Harmony. He banished his encroaching Plunder Vines, he'd won, there was no need for trappings and scorecards. "Your champions have embraced Chaos magic, and managed not to reject yours. The plan to 'harmonize' the humans has failed and you, my old enemy, have failed utterly. You had sway for a thousand years. And this is what your champion of champions has wrought. You know what you must now give up."

The Tree agreed, then asked the question he'd hoped for.

"Oh, I am far stronger, and neither of the human avatars will allow their ascension," Discord replied.

The Tree then asked the final question Discord would have prayed for, had he believed in any power greater than his own. "Oh course," he assured the Tree, "Do you think I want to run the risk of becoming you?" He laughed.

He rolled up his arms and began his own spell. Knowing all attention would be drawn to the spell being cast on Newfoal Island. "And Equestrian will be nothing but a bad memory. Hello my Titans."

The huge caterpillar burst out of the egg, and let out an aggrieved chirp. Even for so huge a creature, it sounded plaintive.

"You have to be a caterpillar first," Twilight told her, and heard Fleetfoot say the same.

"It is a normal process," Fleetfoot said, and Twilight said in chorus.

Godzilla let out a rumble, which Twilight was amazed she understood as 'It'll only be a few days in the cocoon.'

The sun rose above them, and Twilight some how knew Celestia looked down upon them, and was appalled.

She also knew what her mentor would do next. "Celestia will mass the guard, of both Equestrian and the Crystal Empire." Fleetfoot said the same.

Godzilla growled low again, 'What 30000 troops, against what you've seen here? It will take days to coordinate. Or she'll send them over in easily dealt with penny-packets.'

Twilight felt her very humanlike jaw drop.

Godzilla frowned at her and chuffed his response.

"There's no reason for that kind of language," Fleetfoot said, and Twilight repeated.

The answering growl was more eloquent. 'Amateurs study tactics, professionals study strategy, experts study logistics. Celestia is an amateur: 'if the troops win every battle, I win the war."

She looked at Fleetfoot and both 'realized' together he had a point.

"This two linked minds stuff is confusing," they said, and laughed.

Then Fleetfoot looked at one of the group of stallions who'd been hanging around since their transformation into butterfly-winged bipeds. The stallions had grins that made Twilight's knees knock, then Fleetfoot gave a smile of her own and approached the crowd.

"Fleetfoot, you wouldn't!" Twilight exclaimed, and Fleetfoot said it too.

"You know better," she said, as did Twilight, as Fleetfoot scratched under the chins of two of the stallions. "With no Spitfire around, you better believe it."

As Twilight said the words, she felt Fleetfoot's frustration at always being the odd mare out. She still shuddered at the thought even as she blushed.

"Well, come on," Fleetfoot urged, "Honey, you're going to be part of this, whether you're there or not." Twilight could barely manage the words she was stammering so hard.

"I was trying to save myself for somepony special," Twilight said, and heard from Fleetfoot.

"Magic powers linking all the web of life, remember? Why do you think I picked them?" Fleetfoot said, and Twilight repeated.

One of the mouth-watering, absolutely stunning, heart shattering, utterly adorable stallions turned to look at Twilight. Her knees shook, her eyes watered at how gorgeous he was, how soft and intelligent his eyes were, how his lean muscled body cried out to be held and to hold a mare, how his -

"I have a Master's Degree in Library Science, and a Bachelors in History and Ethnology," he said, "I'm working on a doctorate in Equestrian Studies and Magic Theory."

"That's why you're single, bro," the other stallion said.

"Not anymore," Twilight and Fleetfoot said, though with very different inflections.

Rainbow looked at Fluttercorn and Godzilla for help with spinning a cocoon.

17) Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Celestial charged into her innermost sanctum, a place no pony was permitted to go. Her back legs collapsed and she slid across the floor at the sight of Discord and the Titans of Chaos. She looked around and realized Discord must have affected the room to allow the huge creatures to exist within the relatively small room.

"Well, I think we can skip the introductions," Discord said as Celestia backpedaled and regained her feet, "And any protests to my plan. At least out of you."

"It can't be," she said as she looked at horrors she'd been assured the Tree of Harmony had banished ages ago.

"Much as I'd love to say this is you going insane," Discord said, "I think we all know their arrival was not the cause."

"Then what do you want, Discord?" Celestial asked angrily.

"I want to have never met you, you vicious nag," Discord shouted at her, making her retreat, "But since not even I can manage that, I give you one last chance to surrender. Abdicate. Absent yourself from the throne, let Luna take over. I don't care if you 'escape justice', you being gone is enough."

"And leave my little ponies to your mercy? Never," Celestia replied.

"What about your mercy? We just watched what that's good for. Massacre of hundreds of millions, because you didn't approve of them and their ways. Quick fry almost 200 adults and another 135 kids because they stood up to you, and they were your 'little ponies'," Discord replied, he shook his head. "Nevertheless, I have offered clemency, and been refused. I will now take, instead of asking."

"I'll fight you!" Celestia said as she took on a combative stance.

Discord restrained himself from responding as he often did, but took a lesson from the Newfoals and politely, quietly asked, "How?" As Celestia struggled for an answer, he and the Titans left, restoring the room to normal.

Discord heard the rumblings of mutiny.

"Rumble, rumble, rumble, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny."

I'm beginning to remember why I let the Tree lock them up, Discord realized.

"Don't make me stop the car!" he shouted at them.

A moment later they were on Earth within a category-4 hurricane, then standing atop the Toba Supervolcano, then looking closely at Sol, then back on earth in the Marinas Trench subduction Zone, then the Rift Valley in Africa, then the basalt of the Siberian Traps, and finally at the former site of Washington, D.C., specifically the IRS headquarters. The 'oo's and ah's from the other chaotic creatures told him he'd won them over. "Now do you see why my plan is the best?!" he told them.

The five, mighty beings kowtowed to him.

"Not too much, people will confuse me for Celestia," Discord said, "Go, look around, enjoy the place. I've got some errands to run, but be ready for my signal. Nopony is going to be ready for what we do."

Discord laughed, then reappeared near a cloud house. "I don't know what Pinkie meant by 'I read it in the comments', but I should have thought of this myself." He opened the door. "So, Tank, you want to help your master?" Discord waited a while for the tortoise to slowly smile and nod.

"So, this lets you organize books the same way, across every library in the country?" Twilight squealed happily. Fleetfoot managed to filter out most of Twilight's boundless enthusiasm when she repeated it.

"Nerd pillow talk," Fleetfoot's stallion High Octane murmured. Then he looked up at the evilly grinning Fleetfoot. "That turns you on?"

"Turns her on, so enjoy the side effects," Fleetfoot said, Twilight repeated and blushed. Twilight got a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle. Fleetfoot felt her stallion move around underneath her.

"There's also the ISBN numbers," Bookworm murmured to Twilight and nibbled her ear.

"You ponies are insatiable," High Octane said.

Book Worm gathered Twilight against him and grinned, "Ain't it the truth."

Fluttercorn watched all the weird fish, like tiny bits of color in a world of absolute darkness. Considering who was with her, none of the predators of size got anywhere near her.

"It's so different from the surface. Yet, in many ways the same," she said.

True, she heard his thoughts, This seems to be the only place in Equestria that is 'Earth-like'. Even the Everfree Forest is a softened version.

Attracted by the light of Fluttercorn's horn, some fish swam closer. In, through and out, a shadow darted, and the remaining fish scattered in the wake of the predator's attack.

"It seems harsh, but fair," Fluttercorn said, "Maybe when I go to Earth next, I'll be able to see what's there, and go look at what I want to look at."

Just remember, Celestia didn't lie about how dangerous humans can be, she just lied that their entire environment isn't that dangerous, she heard him think, They are one of the kindest creatures in their environment, because they are the deadliest.

"And we've fought them," she said.

How do we make peace? she wondered, The Newfoals can't get angry, but it's clear they can clearheadedly and cold-bloodedly plan to defend themselves.

The boats from the last sealift had been returned. The fisher ponies and sailors grumbled as the Royal Guard confiscated every one of them for their trip across the sea. None of the owners were happy that the Guard had earlier planned to bomb these very boats out of existence. Many wondered when they would be permitted to again ply their trades and earn their livelihood.

The commander was aware of the tenuous hold she had over the populace, and the angry rumblings from the crowd. She blamed the Newfoals entirely for this. Stupid ideas that they are anything but Celestia's ponies, she thought, then looked up at the rapidly approaching pegasus guard. The guard looked as panicky as a regular pony.

"Show some spine kid," she ordered, only to get a mulish look from the pegasus.

The guard drew himself up and saluted before reporting. "There is a large pinwheel approaching from the east, I mean really large," the guard said.

The odd sound and sight did look like a fireworks pinwheel. The flames pivoted down and the thing came to a landing several hundred yards outside the harbor's breakwater. It stood up and let out a scream.

"Look at the tusks on that thing," several of the officers around her murmured.

"It's a giant, saber-toothed tortoise," the commander gasped.

"Turtle," the pegasus guard said, "Are they manufacturing those things now?"

"How many buckin' monsters can they create?" one of the commander's aide gasped.

"From Toho, eighty-two if you count all the minor monsters that are up to the size of an Ursa Minor. If they're adding the Daiei crowd, that's another 17, but they're generally about half the size of the Toho crowd. It's Ghidorah I'm worried about. The old joke was what's got three heads, no brains and flies around destroying things? Either Ghidorah, or a Senate junket from the States," the pegasus said.

"How do you know so much about these? You're no Newfoal," the commander said, she knew, she'd purged her command of Newfoals.

"My wife was a publicist at Toho, She told me all about them when they first showed up," he said.

"Well, as long as it stays out there, we've got nothing to worry about. Just a giant tortoise."

"Turtle, fire-breathing, saber-toothed turtle," the pegasus said. "If I remember right, he could burn up the whole fleet from where he is, and duck down behind that breakwater if we start firing at him."

The commander briefly offered a prayer to Celestia for strength and wondered what else could go wrong.

Tank was still feeling a little queasy about the flight. But Discord had said Rainbow needed help, a few days distraction until she was in a shape to deal with these crazy ponies.

Tank didn't trust Discord, but if Rainbow needed a few days to rest and regain her strength, Tank would buy her every minute of that time.

Appleling spotted Discord. The draconequus was walking a little funny. She trotted over, followed closely by the guards who'd essentially volunteered to keep her out of trouble. Surveying the nearby farms and orchards hadn't given them any trouble. Although it had made Appleling terribly homesick. Ya can't go home, Appleling thought, Not with all that's happened.

"Y'all right?" she asked.

Discord sat down heavily. "Never again," he said.

"Got into Granny Smith's Zap Apple cider?" she teased him.

"No rode on the back of a turtle," he said, then seemed to focus on her, then her guards. "Ah good. I need you to deliver a lecture."

"That's more Twilight's bailiwick," Appleling said as she shied back from Discord's calculating look.

"Don't play the illiterate, country bumpkin with me," Discord said, "Neither of us have the time. Besides, the lecture I need you to deliver regards the harvest."

"Which harvest?" Appleling asked.

"Doesn't matter," Discord said, "But they need to know, and understand. They don't, not really."

"Who?" Appleling asked. Discord pointed behind her. Appleling turned, and realized her guards weren't Newfoals. "Ah, buck."

The ships, just a handful, were trying to break out, to get past him. Tank roared at them. He looked at the ships and realized they thought he was bluffing. He wasn't. Rainbow Dash was behind him, and she needed time. It was not the first time he'd rescued her, and it wouldn't be the last.

Two huge gouts of flame moved him to the center of the channel through the breakwater. The ships didn't appear to be veering off, and several airships were trying to line up on him.

This would not stand. The fireballs were some of the weakest he could throw. The airships all took one, as did each of the sailing ships. The airships turned so they would crash-land on dry ground, the ships abandoned their approach and began fighting the fires that were consuming their rigging. An arrow or spell would hit him occasionally, but he could ignore them.

He moved back to the breakwater and watched.

Author's Note

Nikas pointed out a very 'Discord' thing to do, but Discord wasn't driving the monster action. When Pinkie told him about Nikas idea, he just had to do it.

18) In the Ghetto

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
In the Ghetto by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

While the monster occupied the armada at Los Pegasus, additional fleets had been assembled at Van Hoover, with smaller squadrons in little ports up and down the coast. The Guard would storm across the sea in numbers rarely seen, and put an end to the uprising.

Such was the plan. But several of the squadrons had seen the writing on the wall in the capital, and while they would proceed to 'Newfoal Island' at their best speed to make landing. Whether they would fight or not, and on which side was an open question.

Airships were also massing, those with upgraded shields. But the one of the first with the upgrades had been at Los Pegasus, and was now twisted wreckage a short distance out of town. The aircrews were also considering their options.

It was simply a point of faith that Celestia would destroy these arrogant Newfoal creations. But how well the guard and their levies would fare was the unasked question occupying every mind. In the Earth War, they would potion bomb a group, and let the resulting Newfoals handle the brunt of the fighting. That the newly-created Newfoals would often suffer 70% casualties was immaterial. Newfoals weren't real ponies. Now facing the massed Newfoals in Equestria, the guard was suddenly considering just how badly outnumbered they were. They whispered among themselves that in the Badlands, a three-to-one superiority of guards to Newfoals had the guards stripped of their armor and weapons, and set outside the Newfoal compound. Nopony knew how many of the Newfoals there were on the island, or moving up behind as a 'fifth column'. Treason was not a new concept for Equestria, but rarely did it affect the commoners.

With the many units who'd never seen one another, there was a substantial number of guards who were not what they seemed. A third to half of their numbers were escaping Celestia for reasons similar to the Newfoals', and they would fight, alongside the Newfoals, if that was what was required.

So when the seagoing roadblock to Los Pegasus suddenly lifted off on two columns of incandescence, and raced towards Newfoal Island, thus removing the only block to launching the attack from all points, no one was sure whether to cheer, or cringe in terror.

Tank didn't know how he'd felt it, but he felt it. Rainbow needed him. A good pet, and a good friend at a time of crisis and uncertainty. He was through spinning, at least for a while. He could do it if necessary, but this way was quicker. He'd spin the last few minutes to slow down without crashing.

That was secondary, Rainbow needed him, and he was eager to see her. He also wanted to understand this new connection they shared. He liked it, but wanted to understand it.

He transitioned to spinning, which let him go directly to vertical flight as he appeared over the island. The cocoon was his destination, and he landed on the high ice walls above it, so he could look down, watch, and be ready when Rainbow needed him.

Rainbow was actually wishing for a book. The last few days had been ones of vague pain, disorientation, and utter, intense, concentrated boredom. She'd tried to sleep through the whole thing, but some itch or ache would drag her back to the waking world. That and all the strange feelings. Knowing where the people, the sea and the forests were without going to look. Feeling where her friends were, without moving. It frightened her a bit. She honestly wished there was someone she could share it with. She had an irrational notion that Tank might understand. She felt a pang of worry, and hoped the once-Crusaders were looking after the pets, as well as Fluttershy's animals.

One thing she'd been getting loud and clear was Twlight and Fleetfoot's activities. She understood Fleetfoot's frustration at always being overshadowed, passed over and ignored. Dash quietly wondered if she had done the same to her friends. They've never come close to her awesomeness, and some would never come close to what she could do.

Do I make them feel the way Fleetfoot felt? she idly wondered. She considered that thought, and realized she felt something new. That she'd be leaving the cocoon soon. Not hours or days, but minutes. She was ready. But she had to stay in until the very last moment. That was going to tax her patience, never her strongest quality.

Discord looked around at all the changes to Equestria and Earth, and squealed happily, doing a little dance. Perfect, perfect, he thought, Even if I do say so myself. He was outside the normal time-space he generally occupied and was preparing the last bit of his plan. Everything is in place, I just need one last thing. Where is she anyway?

"Whacha doin'?" Pinkiecord asked as she appeared.

"I'm not even going to ask how you did that," Discord said, "I have the Equestria Royal Guard ready to invade. I have the Tree of Harmony slowly fading away. I have the Titans of Chaos, blissed out of their mind on the chaos that is Earth's Harmony, and now there's only one thing left to do."

"PARTY!" was the all too predictable response.

"Origami," Discord answered.

"The spice you use on pizza?" Pinkie asked.

"That's oregano," Discord replied, "That's oligarch, that's ogive, that's oblivion, that's obstetrician, that's obsequious, that's origami."

"Oh," Pinkiecord said.

"Watch and learn." Discord snapped his fingers and smiled.

"Ah, I'd better tell everypony there's nothing to worry about, bye!" Pinkiecord said after she'd vanished.

"She's pinking this up . . . oh joy, now she's got me doing it." At the culmination of his perfect victory, Discord facepawed.

Rainbow felt the shaking even inside the cocoon. There was no danger, but there was change. She rolled her eyes that the 'timer' ended, just as the shaking subsided and she began tearing herself out of the cocoon. She was overjoyed to see a friendly face the moment she broke through. "Tank! Woah! Looking good big guy," she said and felt the turtle's deep affection, "So want to go racing?" she asked. "It'll be the only time you'll stand a chance of beating me," she said and checked out her wings.

Tank nuzzled her, then walked back and took off in a gout of fire. Rainbow grinned and took off after him, feeling her wings again after too long.

Celestia raced around the nearly empty palace. Servants, guard, even the bureaucrats were all gone. She and the other princesses suddenly found each other in the Long Hall that led to the throne room.

"Sister!" a nimbus of lightning traveled over Luna. "The moon, it's gone! I can no longer feel it."

"Because it isn't there," Discord said as he appeared and entered the throne room. Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Shining Armor charged in after him. There was a buffet set up, and the set up for musical chairs for four, but nopony else.

"What have you done with our ponies!?" Celestia demanded.

"Is that the Royal or Collective plural?" Discord asked. His voice was leaden, but his gaze threatened each of them in turn. "Royal, you wouldn't share with anything, let alone them."

Cadence let out a screech. "What have you done?" Cadence shouted, before her disguise faded and she stood revealed as Chrysalis. That didn't stop the spasms.

"I cut you off. The swarm is rid of you, and good riddance," Discord said.

"Then you have condemned them to death," Chrysalis spat as she collapsed to the floor. "They cannot survive without - without a queen." She twitched and convulsed in pain as her magic consumed her. "As I cannot."

"They have a queen. One who understands the care of the harvest far better than you," Discord said. His gaze and tone were colder than the harshest winter. He showed no sympathy for the bug writhing and dying in agony.

"Applejack," Celestia breathed.

Discord kicked one of the chairs away. "And the game goes on." He looked at Luna who was going through what appeared to be the symptoms of withdrawal. "And another to follow."

"Be strong," Celestia told Luna, then watched in horror as she dissolved into the miasma of Nightmare Moon.

"Without the moon, there is no way for her to be strong," Discord said without pity for the convulsing cloud who seemed to be racing Chrysalis to discorporate first.

Shining Armor shied as Discord's gaze fell upon him.

"No words for your sister-in-law, or your bride, Sombra? I would have thought you might have learned enough to feign caring about them," Discord asked.

"I will not beg from the likes of you," Sombra disguised as Shining Armor said.

"You'll have no need. Your hatred sustained you," Discord said and threw a potion vial at Sombra. Celestia's purple gift crashed into his armor, destroying his disguise, and leaving his physical form. His expression became one of peace, then dawning horror. He beat the other two writhing entities as he winked out the moment his anger did.

"So you've finally killed," Celestia said in triumph.

"I will submit myself to the court in the Hague, when they get it reestablished," Discord said, "I suspect they will consider it self-defense."

"What of me?" Celestia said and grinned, "The potion won't work on me. If it did, my real sister and niece would be at my side."

"I am going to give you your fondest wish," Discord said, "You may now strive for perfection, with no hindrances."

Celestia narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You are alone here," Discord said and disintegrated the other chairs. "There is no one to hold you back. No distractions. No petty squabbling or politics. No great enemies to face. Even Tartarus is removed. You can do anything and everything without worrying what your ponies think. Even create your true master race, without incremental steps to avoid panicking those who believed they should be independent of you, if only in the smallest ways. You have your books, art, literature and music to entertain you. You have the castle's larders to store whatever food you grow. And you have yourself. Detached. Peerless. Isolated. Alone. Forever."

Celestia trembled at the prospect. "You will return, to torment me." She wished she hadn't sounded almost hopeful.

He shook his head. "No," he said softly, "When I walk out that door, that ends it. You've won. Even the Tree of Harmony begged to be replanted on foreign soil. As we speak, in the Canadian Shield, arguably the oldest rock on the planet, your former student and group of friends are seeing to it that it is safely planted. We may have had our differences, but we never would have conceived of this." He gestured around Canterlot, now empty of ponies.

"You'll be back," Celestia said, "I know you."

"You knew me," Discord said, "It seems neither of us ever knew you." He stepped through the door and closed it.

She ran to the door and wrenched it open. Nothing but empty corridors greeted her eyes. "You'll be back!" she shouted as she galloped through the castle, listening for his taunt. "You cannot help yourself."

She raced for the highest battlement and looked over her kingdom. And realized how quiet it sounded. How empty it was. "No."

She raced for Luna's observatory, trained the most powerful telescopes on city after city, town after town. "No."

She raced to the labs where the potion had been developed. The animal cages were empty. She grabbed a slide out of the rack and slid it under a microscope. "Ha! I'm not alone Discord, you failed! I'm not alone." She danced a little jig and peered through the eyepiece again. "I'm not alone! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!" She laughed and laughed and laughed.

19) Don't Be Cruel

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Don't Be Cruel by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Appleling watched the Changelings helping the Newfoals set up barricades and traps for the invaders. There's gotta be a better way, she thought, But Celestia jist won't listen ta nopony else. The workers sang, giving a rhythm to their work, but it chilled Appleling how deep the hatred the Newfoals weren't allowed to express ran.

Oh, I'm an angry human, now that's just what I am,
And for this pony nation, I do not give a damn.
I'm glad I fought agan'er, I only wish we'd won.
I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done.

I hates the pony nation and everything they do.
I hates her little sister and Queen Celestia too.
I hates Hearthwarming's Evening, it's dripping with our blood.
The lyin', thievin' ponies, I fit'em all I could

I rode with human armies, for three years, thereabout.
Got wounded in four places, and I starved at Point Lookout.
I caught the Rheumatism a'campin' in the snow.
But I killed a chance of ponies and I'd like to kill some more.

Three hundred thousand ponies are stiff in Terra's dust.
We got three hundred thousand before they conquered us
They died of Terra's fevers and human steel and shot
I wish there were three million instead of what we got.

I can't pick up my rifle and fight 'em now no more
But I ain't gonna love 'em now that is certain sure
And I don't want no pardon for what I was and am
I'm not no 'little pony' and I do not give a damn

Oh, I'm an angry human, now that's just what I am,
And for this pony nation, I do not give a damn.
I'm glad I fought agan'er, I only wish we'd won.
I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done.
I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done.

"Three hundred thousand?" Twilight asked in horror as she approached, "Even if that's a gross exaggeration, it would have caused riots if Celestia had let that out."

"Now y'all know why she didn't," Appleling said, feeling an eerie connection with all the workers and soldiers, as if in an odd way, they were all her.

Better keep some of my opinions ta myself. There's lotsa stuff I cain't stand that other folks slip into like a comfy pair a work duds, speakin' of duds, Appleling thought as Rarity sailed in and came to a landing.

"I must say, Fluttershy is an excellent teacher," Rarity said and folded her wings, "If either or both of you would care to turn those into something other than a fashion accessory."

Twilight smirked. "I'm still getting used to feeling Rainbow and Fleetfoot in my head. I think flying would push me over the edge." Twilight reeled slightly. "Like her and Tank having a flying competition. Rainbow may be used to those maneuvers, but I have to keep telling myself it's not me doing loop-de-loops. Excuse me!" Twilight covered her mouth and rushed off.

"Oh dear, so much to get used to," Rarity said and put her tail in Appleling's way as she moved to follow Twilight. "There are some moments a mare wants to keep to herself. Oh, I thought of a new flag for the nation. It's a map on a field of teal. I must say I wanted stripes, but this has some precedents."

Appleling peered at the cloth banner. "I never have figured out how they get seven outta that. I always counted five, now there's eight. Making it 'more fabulous'?" Appleling asked.

"I did use the diagram Discord gave me. You suppose he wanted me to do something embarrassing?" Rarity dragon asked.

Appleling just stared at her.

"Yes, well, maybe I'll ask someone else," Rarity said, skipped a few paces and flew into the air.

Appleling looked at her own wings. "Yeah, need some training on using these."

The team were spread thin. Half the satellite's crew were redistributing Discord's 'Care Package', even the six crates of whoopie cushions were being repurposed to patch the micrometeorite holes. The rest had long since given up on the 'that's a space station' jokes and all their variations. The thing was too damned big, and until a few moments ago, had been on a collision course.

"Confirmed, it is now approaching at 1 meter per second. Wait, decelerating again. Point 3 meters per second," the radar operator reported. "Distance two four zero meters and closing."

"I've got what looks like a standard docking ring on the approaching surface," crackled over the internal communication from one of the repair and restocking teams near one of the satellite's few windows.

"Distance two zero zero meters, closing," the radar operator reported. The rest of the eight humans of the command crew looked at each other. All had lost family on Earth, and had feared the ponies would either swat them out of the sky, or let them run low on food, air or spare parts and watch them die on reentry or be waiting with potion.

"Bozye moy!" came the cry over the intercom.

"Piotr, S Vami vsye normaljno?" the commander called, to find out if the crewman was all right.

The string of Russian baffled even the radar operator who was a native speaker. "Something like extra continents, beats me skipper. Distance one five zero meters and closing."

"Piotr," the commander said, "Try it again in English."

"Sir, we are going to need new maps. There's more of Equestria down there, I think. Tak nye bivayet!" came the reply.

"Collins get down there," the commander said, "Piotr, Collins is on her way."

"Object now six zero meters and slowing, point one meters per second. Looks like we aren't going to be smashed to flinders," the radar operator replied., "We wait."

"Skipper," came Collin's voice over the intercom, "Looks like more of Equestria showed up, Lemuria and Mu are real now. I have no idea how the planet and the planet's orbit haven't been affected."

"Not our problem unfortunately. Maybe Discord actually read all those text books on geology Nabi lent him and they sunk in," the commander said, "I'm more worried about what or who is aboard that mini moon trying to dock. Okay, Collins, get back up here. We have to figure out what to do next."

Without word from the crown, the fleets surged forth. Most ponies noted their stronger magic, but took it as exhilaration on crushing the enemy. Eyes scanned the skies, and from the airships above, they watched the water. The spotters in the air saw the fins, and sent the warning.

"Fins, lots, from the north west and south," the signal officer watched the flags from the airships.

"Did they say what color?" the captain of one of the swift scouts asked.

"Black and white," the pegasus said, the dread the pair of veterans shared swept through their boat. "Orcas."

None of them understood how the monsters of Earth's seas had gotten to Equestria, but terror swept the fleet from the old swabs to the Grand Admiral. Orcas hunted ponies. They could overturn smaller ships. They took a malicious pleasure in 'playing' with their food. And the worst, they could sense the difference between Newfoals, and regular ponies. The captain remembered an attack she'd witnessed, a scout like this one overturned, and the orcas had dragged all the ponies under, but then flipped the terrified Newfoals onto the overturned boat, like a spider-toss game. But none of the native Equestrians had surfaced.

"Those poor bastards," another officer pointed to a column of pegasi and other fliers, accompanied by an unbelievable number of birds of prey. Maybe the Newfoals couldn't attack, but they could screen the birds, and they could carry incendiaries to damage the airships.

For the first time, making the humans more attuned to their environment seemed a really bad idea.

The Grand Admiral of the Los Pegasus fleet saw the columns. "We're on Earth, somehow. If the VanHoover force is with us or not is immaterial for the current crisis. It means those approaching Newfoals have every advantages we had, and the potion won't make them switch sides." He lowered the binoculars. "Battle turn, the entire fleet, get us back to harbor."

"We can take them," one of his aides cried.

"They outnumber us thirty to one, and that's just the ponies. The sea will consume any who fall into it. Have the cutters and shallow freeboard vessels go ahead, they are the most vulnerable." The admiral watched his orders take the fleet out of harms way. The columns in the air, and the massive pods of whales in the sea seemed willing to simply assert their authority. A hot-headed pegasus or two raced out from the airships to try to dominate the Newfoals. The birds of prey would swarm the fool, and neither they nor the Newfoals would allow them to regain the refuge of the airships. Whether they were consumed in the air, or they fell into the hungry maws in the sea mattered little. The Grand Admiral needed orders before he'd commit his force to the meat grinder of that force.

He had received no reports of the giant monsters, but appreciated their strategy.

Someone had posted a note on each of the two small portholes on the space station's access hatch. One was filled with the most precise small hand writing and purported to describe the conditions on the other side of the hatch. The other was an admission she was an alicorn, and a plea, that even if they didn't want to open the hatch, could someone just talk to her.

The entire staff had assembled in the command center the last humans in the entire star system. "And we have a royal pony right outside the docking hatch. One powerful enough to burn through that hatch in about two seconds," the commander said.

"Or reverse the push her moon has been giving us," the radar operator said, "It's only a tenth gee, but it is pushing us to a more stable orbit. It's well within the safety margins for all systems and it's being applied to one of the systems best able to handle the load."

"We need to check all systems," the commander said and turned to the draconequus munching popcorn in the command chair, "Are you going to help us with this Discord?"

The draconequus paused and put the bag aside. He moistened a finger and held it aloft, then told them, "I know you'll do the right thing."

"Can we fire him out a torpedo tube at the sun?" Collins asked.

"What has sun done you wrong?" Piotr replied and walked over to help himself to some of Discord's popcorn. "Already told us he lies, he tells half the truth, and we are entertainment. So whatever says he, it raises complications, not lowers them."

"I'll call you Ivan-Luka," Discord said and grinned, then he considered, "Look, she's a member of a herd species who has been locked up alone by her beloved sister for 14 months before the war started. The threat of just being alone forever sent her sister off the deep end. She may be just a clingy cuddlebug for a few days, she may do a complete rewrite of King's Misery, I don't know, but I do want to watch."

"And you just left her there, or did you visit?" Collins asked, he looked around, "Look I taught kindergarten for three years. And I've had plenty of refresher time dealing with all of you, so I'll go talk to her, if that's what we decide."

Discord sat back and continued munching his popcorn. "I knew all this would be worth it!"

"Not to deviate from the question at hand," Nabi said, "But why are you carrying a mouse?"

Discord froze, picked up the very angry mouse and stared at it. "Oops, your right, I have to give this back to Sparkley Poo!" he vanished.

"Piotr, start building a torpedo tube," the commander said, "Collins, get whatever you think you'll need. Everybody's personal effects are open, even mine."

"Then I'll need your Slinkie," Collins said as she stood.

20) All Shook Up

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
All Shook Up by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The Vanhoover fleet was less than a third the size it was as it returned to harbor, harried the entire way by the legions of Newfoals and their allies. Not a single one of the lighter ships had returned, and none of the airships. The Newfoal flying force had included groups of unicorns seated on carpets that flew through the air. Those unicorns 'assisted' their Orca allies in making a meal of the ponies aboard the lost ships, and what had happened in the air did not bear thinking about. Few airships had crashed, most had simply stopped and drifted with the wind. The idea of recovering what were likely floating abattoirs appealed to no one.

"Send a signal to Los Pegasus commander, we need to coordinate strategy, before they decide to make landfall," the surviving commander said. The Grand Admiral's ship had been lost, when it had been pushed underwater by a team of unicorns. When it bobbed to the surface, nopony was aboard.

"Outriders report that the enemy has returned to the mainland, and they are caring for their wounded."

"Thank you . . . Discord," the commander said as she sighed and returned the draconequus' sloppy salute, "Is that true or just another of your games?"

"It is true, and another of my games, just a little lesson in why the humans reached the pinnacle of land power, why the orcas will not mess with them, even as Newfoals, and now that Equestria is on Earth, playing by Earth rules, you had better prepare documents of surrender, and pray that the Newfoals are more merciful to their fallen enemies than you ponies ever were. All they need do is say 'you're on your own', and this planet will eat you all alive," Discord said, and grinned. "So please, be the stuck-up, arrogant Little - Ponies I know you can be. It'll be more fun to watch that way."

The commander sighed as Discord disappeared. "Get my message off, and assume that what he said is true about the enemy restoring their wounded." She sighed again. "I hate Newfoals."

Luna waited, she'd gotten very good at waiting. Too good, she thought she sat in her antechamber in clear view of the little, windows of the door. She'd heard someone approaching several minutes ago, and she had almost all that she could stand to not wrench the door open and throw herself into the creature's arms. She didn't care what the response was, cuddling or beating, it would be someone other than herself paying attention to her.

Instead, she sighed and waited. Every click and creak and groan beyond the portal fed her fears and doubts. She thought it might be welding equipment, that they would seal themselves in, rather than deal with Celestia's sister. Or worse, they might have finally give up hope, and what she was hearing were their corpses and equipment bumping around in the space-borne cenotaph. The last vestige of the human race, ending at its own hand.

Such fancies made her heart pound with every noise, with every shadow that passed over the little windows. She briefly considered a scrying spell, but realized that any show of magic would frighten them worse than she was frightening herself. So she waited, endlessly long minutes, tantalized by noises, and flayed by her own fears.

The sound of the hatch unbolting nearly made her jump. What she heard next sent any hopes or elation crashing down in fiery doom to the planet below.

"She opens the hatch to what may be a ravening, soul-sucking monster such as this world has been scourged with," Discord said from behind a video camera.

Why is there a crank on it? Luna wondered, To match the crank behind it?

"Will Luna break the fragile truce, by leaping into Collins' arms, Collins, the most motherly of the crew standing alone and troubled facing what she fears is the scion of Equestrian Xenocide? Luna, wanting, needing in way humans don't yet understand, the contact with other creatures. To be held and cuddled, to feel the warmth and scent the aroma of others beginning a comfort few humans could understand," Discord said as he moved about the corridor to get the best views. "And Collins, holding the harmless toy, will it be perceived as a weapon, with this attempt at connection be perceived as an act of war and result in the death of the human crew, and the death of hope in the pony princess. Yes the tension here can be cut with a knife."

The human turned and gave the most ponylike scowl at Discord. Luna couldn't help it, she laughed.

"Oh, Luna makes a noise, will Collins interpret it as the anguished cry of a madpony and fear for her life and soul, will she -"

"Stuff your camera in your mouth so you won't record for posterity that you actually assisted in this meeting being peaceful and having common ground. We can talk about how irritating you are even if we have no other subject on which to agree," Collins said, holding the camera firmly against Discord's tonsils.

"N prblm," Discord said and vanished.

"So," Collins said as she put the more advanced books on science and psychology away. Books Luna wold love to go through later. Collin set a rug down on Luna's side of the barrier. "Let's see what an ear scratching session does for interdimensional diplomacy."

As Luna nearly quivered in anticipation, the human woman sat down awkwardly in the gravity she wasn't accustom to, and let Luna place her head in her lap. "Don't worry," Collins said, "The history books will clean it up."

"Traitor!" the Grand Commander from Vanhoover screamed at the Grand Admiral from Los Pegasus, "You turned back?"

"So did you," the Grand Admiral replied, "Only after losing two-thirds of your forces." He was the epitome of calm, in stark contrast to the sputtering wildcat across the table. "And that was before we hit the Equestrian Newfoals' defenders. I did not bring all these soldiers here to throw them away in a show of loyalty to a crown that will not respond to even the most urgent messages."

"Then we should redouble our efforts!" the Grand Commander insisted.

"Excuse me," Discord said, then he arrived. "Have any of you thought to send an emissary to Canterlot."

"It is no longer there," the Grand Admiral said quietly, "So, since you've decided to grace us with your presence, and this was all no doubt your plan, feel free to brag. I think I prefer you to - other alternatives." The Grand Commander stared daggers at the Grand Admiral.

"Celly's alive, just off in her own world." He rolled his eyes. "She's discovering that making new people isn't as easy as stealing them, and from what you humans and ponies have shown, isn't nearly as much fun as the old-fashioned way. Princess Cadence is with the Newfoals, Princess Luna is with the humans in the space station. And yes, I did bring most of Equestria here, and rearranged things a bit. You two are facing England and Portugal, rather than the Eastern Seaboard of the United States and the Maritime Provinces of Canada."

"You turned the continent around?" the Grand Commander gasped.

"Of course he did you ignorant toff!" the Grand Admiral said, "Do continue."

"Well, I added Newfoal Island as you call it. It's in the Indian Ocean. The other continent is in the Pacific. All very neatly done I might add. Equestria is here, and you're playing by Earth rules now. I suggest you get down on your knees and ask the Newfoals how they did it. Because a lot of migratory animals are going to be very interested in the new source of food. You."

"What makes you think we can learn anything from those crippled half-breeds?" the Grand Commander asked.

Discord grew angry, he glanced at the Grand Admiral, who bowed and slid the tea tray over to him, then he focused on the Grand Commander.

"Let us look at you ponies for a moment. In terms of ecological damage: You engaged in a war over stealing resources from the people who actually made them, to the point that you exterminated all life on an entire continent. That's something humans have never done, and short of an all-out nuclear bombardment, something humanity couldn't do. And after a thousand plus years, there is no sign of you ponies either taking responsibility for cleaning up your mess, or actually starting remediation efforts. The Newfoals' superweapon started that effort within hours of coming into existence, so the separatists could live in peace. And the once-human Newfoals have continued it."

"You ponies talk of friendship, kindness, etc. Let's see how that works out. You enslave the cows and sheep, who are as sentient as you are. Buffalo, mules and donkeys are treated as second-class citizen in their own lands, as are the Newfoals. So that kind of gives that entire concept of ponies being friendly a black eye. In ancient time, humans became friends with dogs, their greatest competitor, and leopards, another hunter competitor. Once they had agriculture, they added small, hunting cats to protect their food stores. Now, they've added orcas to that list and are expanding it. The simple fact is, as far as making friends is concerned, HUMANITY IS BETTER AT IT THAN YOU PONIES!" Discord thundered, driving the Grand Commander back on her hooves.

"Cream?" the Grand Admiral asked.

"Two lumps," Discord replied. The Grand Admiral shrugged and winged him with a couple of glass ashtrays before sliding the cream to him. "Thanks."

"Let's look at a few high-points in your history. Icing over an entire continent and completely denying you had any part of it, until you started doing it to another continent, and the leaders weren't the ones who fixed it. And no effort to undo what you did. One of your Diarchs let an omnicidal spirit take control of her, because she was jealous of her sister. Another magical pony enslaved his entire population and kept them in terrified thrall until either they quit having children, or all the children died."

"So all in all, which is the worse species, who are the monsters? Does every single leader you raise up eventually become a slaver or a genocide, or in Celestia's case, both? It does seem to make it clear that she saw humans and was jealous, so she didn't just wipe them out and erase their existence from history, but attempted to enslave them to her will."

"Let me clairify that for the slower among you. You ponies weren't what she wanted, so she had to try to destroy another race to hammer them into the form she did want. You aren't better than humans. You're even a disappointment to your own god."

The Grand Admiral applauded. His staff soon joined in. While Discord bowed, the Grand Commander and her staff stared aghast.

"How do we bring this to a successful conclusion?" the Grand Admiral asked, and sipped his tea.

"You're taking advice from him?" the Grand Commander shrieked.

"He seems more invested in our survival than you are. I don't care if he suggests a mass assault with foam rubber swords and water balloons full of custard, as long as it prevents the effusion of blood," the Grand Admiral said, "And in case you didn't notice, our target is 4000 miles distant, not two hundred. Assuming that the nearest approach would take us to the Newfoals' city."

"It doesn't," Discord said.

"I thought not," the Grand Admiral said, "Our enemies are content to pen us in, and have vastly greater numbers. I am content to attempt to live up to Equestria's ideals, rather than our past perversion of them. How do we extend the hand of friendship, and failing that, how do we equitably surrender?"

"I'll have a delegation here tomorrow morning," Discord said and vanished.

"You can't do that!" the Grand Commander said.

The Grand Admiral shot to his hooves. "Clap that foal in irons!" he ordered, "When Discord is making more sense than one of my junior officers, it is time to take steps. Find some Newfoal who remembers the works of Monty Python's Flying Circus and have them recite it to the prisoner until she comes to her senses or get a sense of humor."

"You can't do that," The Grand Commander said, but she and her staff were overpowered by marines.

"Earlier commission, so yes I can," the Grand Admiral said, "Finally got a promotion and it took bloody Godzilla and the Conversion Bureau to do it, so I am not messing this up. Now, what kind of terms are we to come to?"

21) How Great Thou Art

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
How Great Thou Art by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Fluttercorn clung to the top of Godzilla's head. While a 'weak' flier, she was a nimble one, and the subtle maneuvers and changes to Godzilla's method of flight came easy to her. Tank and Rainbow were higher up, almost too high to see, and Rainbow had another mission. Tank didn't like it, but he was Godzilla's back up. Fluttercorn glanced at faerie Twilight and Fleetfoot. Normally they would be with Rainbow, but her mission made their inclusion impossible.

As Godzilla slowed on his approach to Los Pegasus, Fluttercorn saw the ships in the harbor, the airships tethered around the city and she cringed at the idea that this army might be thrown against the Newfoal city.

"I hope we can come to an arrangement," she said as they landed very gently in a field that had been cleared for them. The nearest unit was the reviewing stand, and a very large marching band. Fluttercorn wondered what was going on, and was glad she was safe up here.

The bandmaster began to thank Celestia she'd found some 'Knew Foals' who'd been able to teach her band this piece, but considering that Celestia had caused this disaster, she decided thanking the Princesses would be a better option. The major brass was in the reviewing stand, hoping, praying that the creature who'd just landed could be convinced to see reason, and spare their lives.

She raised her baton, hoped a few hours practice would be enough and began. Offering ruffles and flourishes to welcome a head of state was old hat, but none of the old national songs would apply. Fortunately, this monster came with some truly beautiful theme music.

Notes:

Godzilla could smell the fear even from here. Discord had described to him what had befallen the fleets, and which fleet commander had prevailed in the political wrangling that followed. He'd also spotted the troops who were creeping up on Los Pegasus, and bearing Celestia's banners. He'd already decided that a show of force would be appropriate. To make it clear that his intention was to be protector of all the peoples of Earth. And if that meant a bit of a scare, then so be it.

As the band played, Godzilla drew himself up straight, and offered the best salute he could.

The stench of terror abated as the echos of the song faded away.

Now it's time, he thought, and per their agreement, Fluttercorn, and the two Shobijin Twilight and Fleetfoot didn't exactly sing, but made music. It was most like throat singing, although it also had a very strong telepathic content.

Note:

Many of the soldiers in the reviewing stand broke down weeping. Others hugged their neighbors. Some seemed almost exalted, as if the weight of their deeds were lifted from them. Of the advancing army, too many simply lost heart, others became even more angry. Some looked like they had gone insane.

As the song faded, the ambushers shouted and nearly half of them charged. From the marching band to the reviewing stand, they all blanched. Godzilla clearly heard 'Godzilla, weapons are free!' from someone in the reviewing stand before they started calling up their own forces.

Godzilla knew Equestrian battle tactics. Most of the lives within him had died of them. There would be the airship command post, and the small assemblies of officers far back behind the front lines.

Once command and control is down, they will more likely listen to you, he told Fluttercorn.

Her saddened silence was his only answer. He turned so they could see his spines lighting. Of those charging, nearly two-thirds dove for the nearest available cover. Most of the rest 'lightened their load' so they could flee faster.

The airship command post ceased to exist. Several of its escorts were on fire from the heat pulse. The brief flare ahead of the ship indicated it had the improved shields, as did most of the ships currently on fire. The three auxiliary command groups were reduced to glass-lined holes.

Fluttercorn lifted off and dropped down, not incidently blocking some of his line of fire to some of the troops, not that he couldn't side step if she came under fire.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves!" the Royal Canterlot Voice thundered down on the troops. "Time and time again, he has shown all the restraint we could ever hope for. And still you see it as weakness. He came to end a tragic and troubling war. And you wish to continue it, then so be it. Your commanders are gone. Those of you who wish, go home. If you want to continue the battle, then come forward, and on your head it shall be."

About a tenth of the force screamed and charged, beasts too tormented to do anything other than inflict pain on others. Godzilla waited until a generous distance separated those on the attack, from those who merely wanted to see. It was like sweeping leaves away with a garden hose. One shot left to right. Lensing the depth of the beam as he moved to catch most, but not all in the force in its incinerating blast. Some near the rear only caught a touch and ran screaming as their very flesh burned. It was a sight the ponies who had stayed back would never forget. None 'escaped' that way out the front.

The sweep completed, the ground smoldered where it hadn't been completely glassed over. Like a crude finger-painted smear across the land. Godzilla cocked his head and looked at the army that waited behind the line he had drawn. The last of the 'chargers' had fallen screaming, and added to the smoke. The force either threw down their weapons and retreated, or stacked them to await disposition from the command staff who were bringing their own troops forward.

I'll leave the ponies to work out who was what, he thought to the trio who rode atop his head, I have made my statement. I am Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

Rainbow wasn't sure how she could still be breathing. She'd always passed out long before she reached this altitude on her earlier attempts. Now she might as well have been hugging the ground.

There's Luna's moon, she thought, What in the name of all Equestria is that! she thought as another silvery orb came into view, but this one was huge. No wonder so many Newfoals didn't believe that Luna moved the moon. If they were thinking of that monster, I wouldn't have believed it either, she thought then glanced at Sol. If what they said is accurate, I might be able to fly to that thing, but it would take days.

The tiny assembly attached to Luna's moon looked laughable, until she realized they'd put it there without magic. These guys aren't just creepy, they're scary.

She orbited the odd structure, until she found what Twilight had described. She carefully webbed the supplies to the side of the station, and departed. Twilight and the others had prepared a 'briefing' for both Luna and the astronauts on the current situation, and a request to make contact. The Newfoals were trying to build radios that would let them talk to the humans up here. That was beyond Rainbow's understanding.

She made sure she was well clear of Luna's moon when she fixed her sights on the far more distant object. Okay moon, come ta Dashie! she thought and raced for the object.

The humans were still wary of the glow of Luna's horn, but the container of supplies was all that they would need for some time. "I could have teleported it inside," she said.

"We still aren't sure where the atmosphere you're displacing goes. We can't afford to lose any," Commander Koenig said.

Luna had never considered that, and mentally added it to her list of things to check. She grinned. "How is it you know nothing of magic, but yet you know so much about it?"

"We know a lot about magic," Collins said, "We just don't have any."

Luna's mind ran over that sentence and thought it was too twisted even for Discord. How do you know a lot about something you know nothing about? She added that to the very long list of things about humans she was going to have to ask about later. I'm beginning to understand what frightened Celestia so much about these creatures.

"So, Nabi, now that you've got the ingredients, a gravity well, and a receptive audience, you can show off all those vegetarian dishes you kept talking about," Piotr said.

The geologist brightened. "That's right. There's so much you can do with good cheeses," Nabi turned to face Luna, saluted, "Take me to your Liederkranz!"

Luna wondered why they all thought that was so funny. "Discord is going to love you people," she muttered.

Fluttercorn laid out the Newfoals' demands. As practically a Newfoal herself in attitude, she was very polite and deferential.

I only have to sit and watch to remind them that negotiating in good faith is acceptable, Godzilla thought as he watched. Again the difference between Newfoals and native Equestrians became apparent as the Newfoals close within a few dozen yards. An outright refusal will have consequences. Complete replacement of the negotiating team being the first.

The terms were simple, cease attacks on Newfoal Island and continental Newfoal territories. Surrender all data and materials on the potion to the scholars at Newfoal Island. In return teachers would be sent to prepare the Equestrians for life on Earth.

Discord had suggested the 'snake-eaters' of the various Special Forces be detailed. They had the MOS of teaching as well as survival. Plus, while it would horrify and gross out the ponies, they were the best able to convey what a hellhole the ponies were in now. This detail hadn't been shared with Fluttercorn, only that the teachers were specially trained in wilderness survival, teaching and would dedicate themselves to keeping the ponies alive.

You have to let him have his fun. Especially when he's right, Godzilla thought, For the first day, the negotiations went well. Whether the Grand Admiral can maintain control and maintain the peace was another matter.

Then came the question. Will he be wise enough to call on his new allies to deal with any revolt? Godzilla wondered and glanced up. Luna's power might not reach the surface, but she and the sensors of the station give them an unassailable 'eye in the sky'. Nothing on the hemisphere is not under their direct observation and with the supplies they'll soon add the remaining spy satellites.

He looked up at the sky and saw the long trail of a comet or meteorite. He briefly wondered what it forecast for the future.

Mothra Dash climbed out of the now larger and more smoldering Wolf Crater and looked around. There wasn't a soul within sight, sound or smell. "Perfect landing." She flopped down on the desert floor and went to sleep.

22) Dainty Little Moonbeams

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
Dainty Little Moonbeams by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

Celestia watched the mineral absorb the dust she'd collected from around the palace. The tiny tadpole-like structure grew. "Ha, ha! I can master the creation of monsters too!" She put more dust in the beaker and watched the tadpole move towards it.

The would-be rioters had been in the forest setting up for a few days. Collecting signs, practicing their chants, and getting ready to make a general nuisance of themselves in New Vanhoover (formerly Vancouver). The smoldering remains of Mount Rainier in the distance gave some pause, but most considered that just a fluke.

"We don't need Newfoals to teach us how to live at harmony with nature," the leader shouted, "We are ponies, Celestia's true supporters." Murmurs of assent filled the grove.

The pack of bears had closed in on these noisy things, they'd raided the food supplies the ponies had laid out. The smell of food had attracted more bears. While these were black bears, not grizzlies, they still were bears. So the boldest of them wandering in to get the food that had been incautiously stored provoked a response.

"Hey you! Get away from there!" the pony shouted as it charged, waving a foreleg.

The bear ran back towards its fellows with a pack of shouting ponies in pursuit.

Bears aren't good at math, but even they realized that 10 ponies against 15 bears gave them the advantage. The bears proved marvelously skilled at subtraction, and division.

Discord had a much harder time summoning the Titans of Chaos than he'd expected. "So, are you chaos-glutted maniacs ready to accept our new home and . . . why are you all crying?" Discord asked.

Discord facepalmed. "What do you mean it's 'too good'?" Discord's jaw dropped as they explained. "Do you know what I had to go through to get us here after Celly went nuts? If Finagle and Murphy are kicking your butts then either kick back, or sit back and learn!" Discord threw his hands in the air, they floated down on little parachutes. "You wanna WHAT?!" Discord took his ears off and shook them. "Say that again, I can't believe what I just heard."

Discord facepalmed again. "Why would you ever want to go back there?" he asked, "I took all the good parts, all that's left there is Canterlot and little Miss Harmony-uber-alles." Discord sat down as his legs collapsed beneath him. "You - people - make me want to cry. You want back, I'll send you back, but once you're there, even I can't get you out." He cast the spell and the massive power of the chaos titans suffused him, as their essence returned to Canterlot. "I thought they'd never leave." He cracked his knuckles and summoned a chaise lounge, and umbrella drink and sat back to watch the chaos. "If you can't sit back and accept someone is better and either learn or be entertained, you just go back to your safe zone."

Dash flew over the land, and was disturbed by the vastness of the place. You could see Canterlot from Ponyville, heck with a decent telescope you could see it from Vanhoover. That moon was bigger than Equestria! she thought, And that's a moon! She saw she had a companion as Tank pulled into formation with her.

"Any trouble Big Guy?" she asked. The girliness of her squeaks made her cringe a little, but she could live with it.

The answering shriek told her all was well.

She smiled as she gave her wings a bit of a rest so her friend could keep up with her.

Arriving back at Newfoal Island, she was overjoyed to see Twilight and Fleetfoot again. "Everything going good?" she asked.

"Luna's linked up with the astronauts in the space station," both of them said together, it creeped Rainbow out a little, but she accepted that it was necessary, "Discord has been behaving himself, sort of. And the negotiations are going well."

"How come we never realized how BIG this place is?" Rainbow asked, "Oh, right, we were doing her will. No other thoughts necessary."

"I'm more worried about the increase in wildlife attacks, and a few natural disasters cropping up in clusters," Twilight and Fleetfoot said, then looked at Rainbow, "You're tied in with the spirit of the Earth, have you felt anything?"

Rainbow considered, but it was Tank who answered that it was just 'growing pains' as the spirit of Earth and the spirit of Harmony came to an understanding.

"Woah, you're starting to talk like Twilight!" Rainbow said, and chuckled at her pet's embarrassment, and Twilight's slight outrage.

"So, do we wait it out, or do something?" Rainbow asked.

"I'm plotting the occurrences, their location, frequency and area of effect versus ponies affected," Twilight said alone.

"She sure is," Fleetfoot said, without Twilight.

"Well, that proves we aren't mirrors," they said together and both laughed.

Rainbow missed being able to roll her eyes or face hoof, face-winging would knock too many ponies over. "Well, I for one am gonna take a nap, then check in with the weather team. The clouds here are a lot more resistant to pegasi than in Equestria, why didn't I say 'back home'?" She shook her head. "Any way, they can still predict weather, and I saw a couple of storms headed this way, so we might need to watch them over the next few days."

Twilight and Fleetfoot nodded.

Rainbow flew off a short distance, a short distance for her, a day's flight for most, and began settling down. Tank landed nearby and stared at her. "Yeah, sure," she said and raised a wing. Tank snuggled in beside her. Content, she was soon asleep.

"No you idiot! Don't eat the garbage dump!" Celestia shrieked as her marvelous new creature dove head, well sort of head, first into the garbage. Not the relatively clean midden, but the food garbage and sewer runoff waste.

Celestia looked around for a moment, certain somepony, or several someponies were laughing at her, but even the strongest detection spell had found nothing. What rose out of the garbage dump was everything she'd hoped for, except it was looking at her.

"I am your queen, I am your creator, you will -"

The blob of sludge forced her to dodge instead of pontificate.

"Eeeek!" came the cry as the noisome projectile nearly missed her. Celestia fled. "It's too big now to enter the corridors." A quick glance back told her what a lie that was. She shrieked, rather shouted her outrage, and fled back towards her lab. Followed the entire time by the certainty that somepony was laughing at her.

She reached her lab and closed the hermetically sealed door. Nothing could ooze in, not if this hermit had anything to say about it. She pulled out a jar full of anaerobic bacteria. "Let's see how you deal with these!" she said and plied her magic. She ignored the impression of giggling, and the almost aroma of popcorn as she worked. Steadfastly ignoring that the walls around the door were starting to melt.

"Skin sample, blood sample, marrow sample, semen sample," the commander complained. With only the doctor to hear, it was permitted, even expected.

"It's for the restoration of the human race," the doctor said, "They need uncontaminated samples from the only humans they have left."

"Yes, but what if they need more, say a sample for every human down there," the Commander said, "And the ponies who want to become humans?" He looked at the doctor. "I can live with this, but don't enjoy it. If it goes that far, I think we'll all run out of samples."

The doctor nodded, and made a note. "What worries me is the assertion that we can't live in the new magic environment, oh course one theory is that the current environment is higher in magic than Equestria. That's why their ordinary forces were so much stronger."

"That's a disturbing thought," the captain said, "That magic wasn't 'real' because there was so much of it. I wonder if the 'new and improved' humans will be able to use magic . . . "

"We have to warn Luna!" they said together and dashed from the infirmary.

Pinkiecord stole a pawful of Discord's popcorn as they floated outside the space station anchored to Luna's moon. "But all the humans I met are nice," she said as they watched the frantic explanation to the increasingly aghast pony princess.

"You don't really remember encountering humans. Just Newfoals. The power of Celestia's lie about humans wasn't that it was wrong, it was that it was incomplete. Like saying Mr. Cake was always off with some mare while Pound and Pumpkin were in the oven."

"He used the mirror pond?" Pinkiecord asked, "To cheat on Mrs. Cake?!" Then Pinkiecord face-pawed. " The 'mare' was Mrs. Cake, I get it."

"So humans are every bit and dangerous as Celestia said, she just never mentioned that only within specific circumstances, only the worst individuals, and she completely left out their good side. But there's also the human aspect of doing something because it's 'fun.'"

"What's wrong with fun?" Pinkiecord asked as an entire party formed around them.

A decommissioned communications satellite took out the buffet table. "Take Rainbow Crash's attitude towards safety versus coolness, and marry it to Sparklette's cavalier attitude towards experimentation. Now imagine the reception."

Pinkiecord cringed. "Now imagine the honeymoon."

Discord cringed.

"Got it." Pinkie sat and thought. "What's happening with Celestia? Are we going to have to fight her again?"

"Only if we look in on her," Discord said, "And don't get curious. Unlike her, when I seal evil in a can, I leave the means to destroy themselves, but not the means to break out of the can."

"You did?" Pinkiecord asked.

"Okay, I had a bunch of SF authors and guys at JPL vet the process, before they got ponified," Discord said, and sighed, "That John DeLancie was such a brilliant, handsome fellow."

Pinkie decided not to tease him about his man-crush. "So we don't have to worry about her."

"You can worry about her all you like. But nothing she does can effect us," Discord said.

"What about the Titans of Chaos?" Pinkie asked, "Without the Elements, they could cause all of us a problem."

"Nope," Discord said, "They all ran back crying to their safe space, Canterlot. Although I kept their power here."

Pinkie stared at him. "That was your plan all along," she said.

"Of course. Getting rid of all my rivals was part of the plan," Discord said.

"What about us?" Pinkie asked, looking at Discord with big liquid eyes.

"I need to teach you about the uncanny valley. Yes, much better. Quit overdoing things, that was my mistake," Discord said, "First, you're my friends, not my rivals. Two, none of you want the games to end, so we agree on that. Three, the Newfoals already created a blend of Chaos and Harmony, they can create additional 'monsters' to counter anything you or I do, and the planet is stronger than any of us, but not all of us. Four, I needed the power to deal with cosmic disasters, and there have been a bunch of them in the past."

Pinkie nodded. "What about Shining Mouse?"

Discord suddenly looked around, then smiled worriedly. "Oops."

The scuttling, crablike creatures fired their beams of micro-oxygen into the wall of sludge, until only the glowing crystal remained. Celestia stomped that underhoof herself.

"Well, that's done," she said, but turned suddenly at the flash of light.

Where there'd been 10, now there was one. A much larger one. A much larger and very unhappy one. Celestia grabbed the remains of the crystal and raced for the Royal Rose Garden. "You won't catch me that easily!" she shouted as she dodged the blast.

If I can get to the potion vault, that will take care of things! she thought as she raced through the palace corridors, zigzagging all the way, And who is laughing at me? I didn't make that thing smart enough to think, let alone laugh. I'll have to make the next servitors have less of a sense of humor!

Godzilla was enjoying the swim through the waters outside where the negotiations were coming to a close. His tranquility came to an end as Discord appeared, on his head.

"Ah, here," Discord said and set a mouse down on Godzilla's head, "I couldn't find Candy Floss, and Sparklettes was, ah, otherwise engaged. Not what a brother should see. See to it he gets back to them will you?" And Discord was gone, leaving a very angry mouse behind.

While most of the mouse's cursing involved Discord, that worthy's parentage, mating and eating habits, and not a few speculations about the Draconequus' intelligence, the erudite turn of phrase intrigued Godzilla.

Is there any animal on Equestria who can't talk? Godzilla asked.

The mouse replied with the nearly cliched 'you can talk?!'

Godzilla sighed. No, I'm a giant hallucination, he thought, You're imagining this all. Godzilla considered the near-comatose mouse and decided to head for shore. Fluttershy might be of help. At least she'll have a guess who 'Candy Floss' is.

23) There Is So Much World to See

The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King
There Is so Much World to See by Dan's Comments
Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.

The sight of a mouse 'arguing' with a full-sized human reminded Godzilla too much of all the 'Japanese Self-Defense Force Fights Godzilla' for him to remain without laughing his head off. At least the 1998 American film used anti-ship weapons against a kaiju, instead of anti-tank, he thought on leaving.

He'd rocketed back close to the port, landed in the water and carefully walked back to where the negotiations were taking place. In a piece of brilliant insight, the Equestrians had a billboard up and the current, recently resolved and tabled points of contention were being tallied, like the scoreboard of a baseball game. They also had a sand pit, like a gigantic etch-a-sketch, where Godzilla could make suggestions or request clarification, without erasing a broad sweep of the landscape.

All in all, every-pony was being reasonable, he thought as he waited for a full report. The current point was utilization of farmland and the dedesertification of areas that pony weather control methods, limited as they were, could still have an effect. The points of contention seemed to be 'yes we can, but should we'. He noted that the 'utilization of Godzilla to change the course of aquifers' had been tabled, along with whether 'request, implore or begging' was the appropriate verbiage.

When they spend time on minutiae, at least they're keeping their sense of humor.

Twilight would have been reduced to tears by Shining Armor's fury at what had transpired, if her friends hadn't arrived.

What do you mean you don't remember Sombra replacing me? You cast the transformation spell! Armor squeaked in righteous fury, You did it to prove your loyalty to Celestia! That you were more loyal to her than to your own family!

That did it for Twilight, and her friends. Spike carefully picked up the mouse and trotted off, leaving Rarity and Applejack to alternately try to soothe Twilight, and burst into tears themselves.

"They really don't remember," Spike said, "And I can't understand you, so please don't ask questions, just listen. They all did terrible things, to insure that Celestia's hold on them was strong." Spike's expression hardened. "And before you start blaming them, especially Twilight, for 'why didn't you do something before it came to this', you were the Captain of Celestia's Royal Guard, one of the few ponies allowed, if not required, to be armed in her presence. If you really had those worries, you should have stabbed her to death in her sleep. A spear through the head would have saved all of us a huge amount of heartache. But you didn't, you couldn't, and why? The same reason Twilight couldn't. You believed in her with unthinking reverence, until it was far too late. For any of us."

Shining Mouse gawked at the once-dragon, then sadly nodded.

Spike left Shining and Twilight together, alone. He walked through the Newfoal-remade city, searching for Cadence. He got a few odd looks, but some recognized him and told the others. He'd never been so glad of ponies' tendency to ignore anything not of immediate concern. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He'd been changed physically as much as the others. But mentally he'd also been changed, he suspected the others had too, and none of the others had seen the need to discuss it with any of the others. Spike felt he needed to, with somepony he knew.

He was now painfully aware of his immortality, in a way that hadn't been so overwhelming when he was a dragon. He was also aware that while he still liked Rarity, and a couple of other mares, they were alien to him now. Even Celestia was alien. They weren't as immortal as he was. As long as he remained on Earth, he could not be killed. He doubted that even Celestia was that immortal. The first thing he really had to worry about for his own safety, was the sun becoming a red giant and burning the planet to ashes. Even a 'dinosaur killer' asteroid wasn't enough. As long-lived as Changeling Queens, Alicorn Princesses, even dragons and draconequuses were, he would outlive them all.

As much as I like them, they'll be here and gone in a moment. Even Godzilla, MothraDash and Tank will be here for an eyeblink, he thought, But I can't let 'they're only mayflies' trick me into acting like Celestia. For their brief span, they are alive. They think, they feel, and they do not deserve to be treated as inconsequential because they could fall at any moment, or avoiding that, their allotted span is limited. When she stopped caring about ponies, and only cared about Ponies, that was where she walked off the track and descended into madness.

He also realized he was still a child, despite being in an adult's body. He knew things would be very difficult for some time. He'd physically skipped puberty and the craziness, but mentally, he wasn't even close. What would be his future weighed heavily on his mind.

He saw Cadence among a group of artists and painters. They were chattering about the museum, and all the cultural exchanges that were now possible. He wanted to tell her about Armor, but he also wanted to talk to the one pony who might have an inkling of what he was going through. The step from regular pony to alicorn was probably as great as the step he'd been forced into. The others hadn't had to really think about how they'd been changed, yet. Cadence had already lived through it without breaking.

He waited until there was a break in the discussion. "Cadence, they found Shining Armor, and they're working on turning him back into a pony."

Not the most gentle way, but I think she would want to know quickly, and that these others will have to understand her swift departure, Spike thought.

Cadence made her apologies and trotted away, only breaking into a gallop when she was out of sight of her friends. "Is he all right?" she asked.

"Furious, but unharmed," Spike said as he easily kept pace with her, "After you meet with him and things calm down a little, I need to talk to you."

"About what?" Cadence asked as she slowed her pace slightly.

"Being a Terrestrial Unicorn, versus a pony, versus a dragon," he said, "Considering your growing into your powers, I figured you'd know what it will be like."

"So you're different from a regular unicorn?" Cadence asked.

"You have no idea," he said as he led her back to where Shining Armor, now restored, stood among several other ponies and ponoids.

Spike smiled at the very genteel flying tackle as Cadence greeted Shining Armor with a kiss he wouldn't soon forget.

Celestia watched the huge rose gulp down the last of her anaerobe monsters. Then it stopped. This one seems more sedate, she thought, HA! I've done it again. Perfection.

"There shall be hundreds of you, and you shall help me reconquer my lands." Celestia paused and regarded the huge rose, who had turned slightly to face her, but made no threatening moves.

A definite improvement, Celestia thought.

"And I shall call you Audrey, because of your noble strength," Celestia said with a grin.

Erika, the creature thought so loud Celestia could feel it, My name is Erika.

It was polite enough it didn't warrant a full rebuke, but Celestia chided her, "I don't think you are old enough to know who you are."

I was one of the victims of the early potion testing. You buried my distorted and broken bones in your rose garden, Audrey thought, I was Erika, I was Wind Twister for a few moments, and I am Erika again.

"You are Audrey now," Celestia chided, "Erika was a human. Wind Twister was a tragic mistake, I am truly sorry we weren't successful in making you a pony, but you are Audrey now."

Audrey bowed.

Celestia smiled as her first new subject accepted her place. Then dozens of vines charged with chaos energy wrapped themselves around Celestia. An alligator head with more teeth than a family of Asmundrs emerged from the rose petals, and immediately had Celestia in its jaws.

Several moments of damp, crunching noises followed.

Erika spat out the crown and pectoral, both badly dented, and looked around. I can't see you, but I know you are there.

The Chaos Titans muttered quietly among themselves before responding that they were there, and they were waiting for Erika's next move.

She gestured at the buried bodies and restless spirits of many of the potion's first victims. Psychopomp, she told them, Then, I too can rest.

The Titans of Chaos muttered to each other, but came to the consensus that with everyone else gone, they could start from scratch.

The Newfoal fishing fleets brought in their catch. The ponies tilled the fields, although some were pegasi and unicorns, a very radical departure from 'peace, love and tolerance' Equestria. The samples from the space station were analyzed and tested, again by a mix of ponies and ponoids, horror of horrors that magical expertise was spread among the races.

There was talk of investigating the dragon, minotaur and griffon lands, to see if any of those had survived the war. The smiling Milquetoasts called Newfoals, who could not raise a hoof in self-defense against another pony, had been completely capable of fighting a genocidal war against Equestria's neighbors, as long as Celestia commanded them to do their duty. None of the native Equestrians had bothered to pay any attention to the huge numbers of Newfoals who'd been shipped out of Equestria, never to return. If they survived, the MILAGSO philosophy reigned. They killed for the land, then would farm/colonize it, but be ready to be soldiers again if someone tried to take back what had been theirs. An utterly pragmatic way to deal with excess population, and unruly neighbors at the same time. Who said Celestia never learned anything from humans.

Godzilla considered the celebration several miles away, and the peace treaty was ratified, the first, limited restoral potion successes were announced, although that they were only taking terminal or gravely-ill volunteers spoke volumes to what 'success' currently meant. But success would come, 'Erika' had reported the truly hideous numbers of failed experiments before the potion was, well finalized, something like that could never be perfected.

'Erika' had also reported to him on Celestia's demise, something he'd shared with no one. Celestia in being was too useful a club in keeping the more raucous ponies in line. And proof would require 'opening the can' she'd been stuffed in. Also, too much chance it was a ruse. He knew it wasn't, but others would refuse to be as sure. But now, the sea called to him. He could be a warrior, and a diplomat, but the races of Earth were beyond needing him as a hammer to behave. The shadow of Celestia and the hostility of Earth was sufficient. MothraDash and Tank would provide a more sufficient reminder of the power that remained in Terra's hands. The explorer in him yearned to dive into the sea, to depths unattainable to any other, and to drift and catalog what was there.

The sudden arrival of his 'toupee' interrupted his musings.

"You aren't leaving, are you?" Fluttercorn asked.

I was thinking about it, he admitted, Lots to do, lots to explore, and some rest would also be nice.

"B-b-bu-bu-but you'll come back, won't you?" his toupee landed gingerly on his snout and looked at him with watery eyes.

Eventually, he thought to Fluttercorn, But for now, the ocean calls, Godzilla walks into the ocean and the credits roll.

Fluttercorn gave the best hug the form and their relative sizes could manage before flying away. Godzilla nearly smiled, but the sea beckoned and he would answer the call.