Evil Genius: The New Pony Order

by Dolphy Blue Drake

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Changelings, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7869

As the finishing touches are put on the device that would enable Alexis to rule Earth, a certain man causes her entire island to disappear into the abyss. It reappears in an ocean on Equus, and the Evil Genius has a new world to take over.

It was supposed to go off without a hitch. It was a simple rocket thruster test. But of course, even an evil genius can't prepare for everything. So when John Steele sabotaged the Earthquake Beam satellite during the test firing of the doomsday rocket's thrusters, it exploded, taking Alexis and her entire island to another world. A world that didn't know her. One that would be perfect to try again on. One just ripe for the picking. Alexis will still get her adoration and glamor that she desires, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop her!

Cover art by lissa-quon

Published 2014-07-28 02:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-30 20:10:49 UTC

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Alexis adjusted her sunglasses before pressing the button on the console in front of her. She had waited almost a year for this moment. Soon, the world would be hers. With the Earthquake Beam at her command, the world would gladly accept her ultimatum of handing all of Earth over to her to prevent annihilation. The Cold War would end, Capitalism and Communism would stop warring with each other, and everyone would be united under her rule. The world would love her, and she’d finally have the adoration she deserved. And if they didn’t accept… Well, that’s why she was testing the boosters for the rocket. To deploy the satellite with the doomsday weapon, she’d have to have working thrusters, just in case the world said “no”.

Humming evilly to herself, Alexis pressed the button, and the dead volcano’s crater was filled with arcing electricity as her loyal science minions monitored the status of the boosters. The thrusters started to work, but she’d need a full minute of non-stop firing to be sure they wouldn’t fail to launch the rocket.

Suddenly, she heard a commotion from inside the crater: more accurately, in the southeast corner, where the completed satellite was being stored. She chanced a glance at the satellite, and her blood ran chill: the one man who she just couldn’t defeat was sabotaging the satellite!

“Steele,” she growled before barking orders. “Men! Seize him! Make sure S.A.B.R.E. knows not to trifle with me! Not even with their so-called ‘super agent’!”

The man in a white tuxedo coat and black slacks looked up and saw her glaring right at him.

“You’re insane, Alexis!” John Steele shouted as he tried to fend off the martial artists who swarmed him. “The world is too big for one woman to rule!”

At that moment, time seemed to slow as a stray arc of electricity sped towards the sabotaged satellite. If it struck, who knew what would happen? The Earthquake Beam used alien technology stolen from Roswell! What would electricity do to it?

Alexis and her entire base soon found out.

As electricity struck the tampered satellite, it exploded, creating a massive tear in time and space that started to suck the entire island into it.

“Curse you, John Steele!” Alexis screamed as the island fell into the abyss. “If I ever see you again, I’ll make sure you die!”

The super agent said nothing as he stared in horror at what was happening. All the minions started to run around in panic. Even the technicians didn’t know what to do to fix the satellite, if fixing it would even help at all.

After what felt like an eternity, the island stopped falling, and it shook as it landed somewhere with a loud crash.

Alexis was the first to pick herself up off the ground, holding her head as she tried to regain her balance.

“What happened?” she muttered. “Eli! Status report!”

Eli Barracuda stood up and started combing his Afro with one hand as he pulled out a walkie-talkie with the other and spoke into it.

“Matron!” he barked into the radio. “Something funky just went down! Alexis wants the sitch!”

After listening to the radio, Eli walked over to Alexis and said, “sister, no one knows where we are. Some serious funk is messin’ with the control room! We got no signal!”

“Then we’re probably not on Earth anymore,” Alexis stated simply. “Nothing to hack, I presume.” She looked around, and noticed that someone was missing. “Wait, where’s Steele?”

“He just disappeared!” Billy Bob, one of her bodyguards said after looking around. “One moment he was here, next, he’s gone! Poof!”

“Okay, we’ll worry about Steele later,” Alexis replied. “Let’s build a surveillance satellite, and use the rocket to put it in space. I know that means we’ll have to make another rocket for the Earthquake Beam, but we need to know where we are!”

“On it, sister!” Eli said with a salute. “We’re gonna get outta this funk!”

Meanwhile, John Steele found himself in a castle. One he didn’t recognize.

“This isn’t Buckingham Palace,” he muttered to himself as he walked through a hallway. “I’ve been all over S.A.B.R.E. territory, and I’ve never seen this place before. Maybe I’m in S.M.A.S.H. territory? This sure doesn’t look like anything I’d find in P.A.T.R.I.O.T. territory, that’s for sure. And H.A.M.M.E.R. and A.N.V.I.L. don’t have any palaces of this style.”

As he turned a corner, he bumped into something. After picking himself up off the ground, he blinked, but what he saw didn’t change… And it was staring right back at him: a white horse with a horn, wings, a flowing mane of pastel colors, and… What seemed to be royal regalia?

“What the bollocks? Did Alexis catch me and drug me?” he said while the strange horse spoke at the same time.

“What the buck? I really need to lay off the hard cider,” it said in an obviously feminine voice.

“Okay, this is making even less ruddy sense than before,” John said with a hand on his temple in preparation for the migraine he was probably about to have. “This is all kinds of impossible.”

“Either I had a lot more hard cider than I thought last night, or I’m dreaming,” the equine stated with a hoof to her own temple.

Wait, horses’ legs can’t bend like that! John thought, starting to feel the beginnings of the headache he was expecting.

“Okay, this is getting stranger and stranger,” Steele groaned. “First, horses can’t speak. Second, equine limbs can’t bend that way. Third, those wings and horn are impossible. No horse has those. And finally, where on Earth is this supposed to be?”

The equine just stared at the super agent for a few seconds before clearing her throat and addressing him directly.

“First, I’m a pony, not a horse,” she replied. “There’s a large difference between us and them. That’s why I can speak and bend my limbs in ways you claim are ‘impossible’. As for my wings and horn, I’m an Alicorn. And as for your last question, I don’t know where ‘Earth’ is, but you’re in Canterlot Palace in the nation of Equestria. Does that clear everything up?”

Now it was Steele’s turn to stare. “But, how wouldn’t I be on Earth? I can’t just have…”

He trailed off into silence for a few seconds before slapping his forehead and saying, “of course! The explosion! It created some kind of hole, and the island fell into it!”

“Wait, what?” the pony said, still not fully comprehending what was going on. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ll explain in a bit,” Steele replied, his headache vanishing in an instant. “First, this is the first encounter humans have made with extraterrestrial lifeforms, so on behalf of the entire human race, allow me to say that I’m honored to make first contact.”

“So, you’re saying you’re from another world?” the pony asked.

John nodded in the affirmative.

“Well, on behalf of Equestria, I, Princess Celestia, welcome you to Equus, Mister…”

“My name’s Steele, Your Majesty. John Steele,” the super agent said with a bow. Might as well show proper respect now that he knew he was talking to royalty.

“Well, Mr. Steele, it’s a pleasure to meet a member of a newly discovered race,” Celestia said warmly. “Now, if you’d follow me, I’d like to ask you some questions about how you got here.”

Back on the island, Alexis was preparing to launch the new satellite. She had one hand hovering over the launch button while she waited for her minions to clear the silo.

“All the minions have left the silo, and the control room is fully staffed,” Lord Kane told Alexis after surveying the crater. “We can launch at any time.”

“Perfect,” Alexis purred. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

With that, she slammed her hand on the launch button, and a loudspeaker started to count down the seconds until launch.

“Commence final launch sequence. Opening outer doors." The mechanical doors at the top of the volcano slid open, letting sunlight stream into the silo. "Three… Two… One… Ignition. Liftoff.”

Alexis watched as the rocket left the silo and flew into space, dropping one stage after another into the ocean until the rocket flew too high to see anymore.

“Okay, time to get to the control room,” she announced to her henchmen and bodyguards. “Let’s see what this new world is like.”

Alexis led the procession of herself, her two bodyguards, her six henchmen (Eli Barracuda, Montezuma, Lord Kane, The Great Mesmero, Jubei, and Red Ivan) and The Matron, her lone henchwoman. The ten of them made their way through the base to the control room where all twelve control stations were being staffed. The minions in the room all gasped to see Alexis herself had arrived, and they quickly busied themselves with poring over their stations to try to be the first one to get information from the satellite so as to please their entrancing employer.

After a few minutes of silence save for the beeping of the control stations, a lowly construction worker minion turned to look at Alexis and said, “Ma’am, I’ve got a connection!”

“Good work,” Alexis said with a tiny smile and a nod. “Put the information on the big screen.”

The worker started typing like mad to please her, and within seconds, the big screen at the front of the room lit up with a surveillance map of the new planet.

“Just like I thought,” Alexis announced. “A whole new planet. Well, since Steele wouldn’t let me get my adoration from Earth, we’ll just conquer this world, instead! I will have the fame and glamor I desire! This whole world will love me!”

She let out an evil laugh, and her bodyguards started cheering and clapping. They did that whenever she laughed. It was so predictable.

“Forgive me for speaking up, Ma’am,” a technician minion said, “but how are we going to take over this world? With nothing to hack, how are we going to get the necessary information to know what we’re up against?”

“Actually, that’s a really good question,” Alexis replied, rubbing her chin in thought. “But I already have an answer to it: we keep staffing the two hotels we built as a cover operation, and get word out that there’s a jungle island paradise in this location. The natives will most likely show up in spades to this ‘recently discovered’ island, and we’ll just abduct anyone who looks knowledgeable about this world. Who knows? Maybe they have a different infrastructure we could hack if we just knew more about their technology!”

The whole room burst into applause, and Alexis soaked in the adoration. It was something she craved. No. It was something she needed! And here was a new world, entirely unaware of her existence, just perfect for getting her required adoration from!

Look out, new world, the New World Order is coming, and I’ll be at its head! Alexis thought with a sinister grin.

Author's Note

This is just a story that popped into my head after playing most of the way through Evil Genius as Alexis. If you have questions relevant to the story that the links don't answer, feel free to ask me in the comments (however, if you're wondering what the acronyms stand for, the game never says, but click this link for some pretty good backronyms for them). This story is mainly for my own enjoyment, but I hope you like it, too. If I get serious about this story, I'll probably seek out editors, but for now, spell check will suffice, since I'm not serious about this one. It's just to help me cope with my writer's block.

Also, no points for guessing who John Steele is a parody of. It's freaking obvious.

However, doesn't Alexis remind you of a certain pony? If you get what I mean, feel free to comment on that, and see if you've got it right! I might do something special for whoever is the first to get the connection, but I'll have to think of something first.

EDIT: The chapter 1 challenge has been solved by Evilhumour. Congrats on a second challenge solved (chapter 2 was solved by them before this one)! For those of you who are okay with me giving the answer now that the challenge has been solved, the answer is Diamond Tiara.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and happy reading!

First, You Need Sugar

In the palace gardens, Celestia was treating John Steele to a cup of tea while they chatted.

“So,” Celestia said after sipping her tea, “you’re telling me that in trying to save your world, you accidentally caused an explosion that caused an entire island to vanish, as well as placing you in my castle?”

“That’s correct, Your Majesty,” Steele replied, taking a sip of his own tea. It was good tea. Better than any tea he’d had back home in Great Britain. Then again, he’d always preferred a nice cocktail instead of tea, so he wasn’t even close to being the best judge on the quality of tea.

“And you have no idea what happened to that island?” the Princess inquired.

“None whatsoever, Your Highness,” John admitted with a shake of his head. “It could be anywhere in the universe, for all I know.”

“Well, just in case we have to deal with this ‘Alexis’, could you tell me some things about her?” Celestia asked next.

“I don’t know all that much about her, but I’ll say what I know for sure,” Steele replied with a nod. “You see, she was the daughter of the owner of a media empire and the heiress to a massive fortune. From what I’ve heard, her father constantly spoiled her, but he also made sure she was well-educated. When he died, she took over his company and quadrupled global profits with her understanding of how the world worked.

“Due to her being constantly spoiled until her father died, I’ve heard that Alexis has a huge ego and utterly craves adoration and glamor,” Steele continued. “The praise from her employees soon proved to be not enough for her, so she took on acting roles herself, and soon won over her entire country with her charm. But even then, the adoration of hundreds of millions of people still wasn’t enough. She disappeared after a few years, and no one knew what had happened to her.

“I met her for the first time in her base after being captured by her henchmen,” he continued. “She laughed at me while one of her minions spun me around in a huge mixer bowl. I got so dizzy, I forgot pretty much everything about the incident, but I still remember that laugh and the mixer. I may have encountered her other times, but like I just said, she has ways of making people forget what they’ve seen, so if I met her other times, I don’t remember any of them until when I tried to thwart her plans by sabotaging her device. And that’s when the explosion happened that dropped me in this world.”

“So, she’s a spoiled brat with a big ego,” Celestia said, summing up pretty much all of that long monologue in one sentence.

“In short, yes,” John replied with a nod. “She seemed bent on ruling the world, so if I had to guess, I’d say she wants the adoration of an entire planet to sate her colossal ego.”

“Well, if she is in this world somewhere, at least we know a few things about her now,” Celestia said. “We may have to assemble some forces to stop her, just in case. Since you seem to be an expert in the field, Mr. Steele, do you think you could help me to train some ponies in how to take her on?”

“I’d be glad to, Your Highness,” Steele replied with a nod. “If Alexis is here, we’ll need to be ready for her.”

“Good,” Celestia said, nodding in approval. “I think we’ll start recruiting right away. I’ll inform the other nations about this possible threat, and we’ll go from there.”

Lord Kane stood at the helm of Alexis’ speedboat as it traveled across the ocean towards the closest landmass indicated by the map. Hopefully, the natives would speak at least one of the languages he was fluent in. If not, he could always focus his psychic powers to try to bridge the language gap. Admittedly, serving as a translator wasn’t his area of psychic expertise, but he could always make the attempt if he had to.

Soon enough, the boat docked at what looked like a simple primitive port town.

If they’re this primitive all over the world, conquering should be an easy task, Kane thought to himself as he and a handful of social minions stepped onto the wooden docks. The wood creaked beneath their feet, indicating the age of the docks.

“Remember Alexis’ orders,” Kane told the minions. “Just talk to a few of the peasants first to see if they understand us, and if they do, start handing out fliers. If they understand our writing as well…”

Kane trailed off as he got his first glimpse of one of the natives. It appeared to be a small horse with a shortened snout, a horn, massive eyes, a yellow coat, a green mane and tail, and a picture of a sailboat adorning its flanks.

Kane cleared his throat and continued as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “If they understand our writing as well, find whatever they have to serve as a post office here and use a few gold bars to pay them to ship the boxes of fliers to travel agencies all over the world. I’m sure money talks, even here.”

“Yes, sir!” the minions all said in unison while giving him a salute.

And so, they wandered the town, engaging random “ponies” in conversations before handing out fliers advertising trips to the “newly-discovered Tiki Island”.

It soon became apparent that these “ponies” spoke unbroken English, and could read it as well. They were quite confused at the appearance of humans, so Kane used his powers of persuasion to convince the denizens of the town that humans were incredibly rare, and most of them had gathered at Tiki Island. Being the smooth operator that he was, Kane easily won them over, and within an hour, they were making a deal with the postmaster of the town.

“So, Mr. Delivery,” Kane said to the navy blue pegasus stallion at the counter. “I have a proposal for you.”

“Please, call me Speedy,” the stallion replied, already falling to Kane’s charisma. “What do you propose?”

“Well Speedy, we, the denizens of Tiki Island, would like to make you our exclusive distributor of advertisements for trips to our island home,” Kane answered. “Will two hundred gold bars suffice as an early investment for us to make for our potential contract?”

Speedy Delivery gasped as a group of minions showed him the contents of the bag they’d brought with them: two hundred gold bars, just like Kane had said.

“Of course! That’s perfect to start with!” the stallion blurted out, happily letting the minions drop the bag behind the counter. “Where do I sign?”

“Right here,” Kane replied, holding out a contract. “The terms are that we will supply you with twenty gold bars per month, as well as a monthly shipment of fifty thousand fliers and other advertising that we wish to see distributed. Your end of the bargain is that you’ll ship the advertisements to every travel agency in the world. That’s all. Keep your end of the bargain, and we’ll keep you supplied.”

“You have yourself a deal!” Speedy said, taking a quill in his mouth and signing the contract. “So, when will I have to make my first shipment?”

“Shortly,” Kane answered, motioning over a group of minions carrying cardboard boxes full of fliers. “Please have these distributed within a week. We hope to see tourists at Tiki Island soon. We get very lonely out there, you see.”

“O-of course!” Speedy replied, tearing open the first box. “You’ll have your tourists, Mr. Kane! Don’t worry about anything! We’ll get it done!”

“Make sure that you do,” Kane muttered to himself, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

“Alright, men, we’ve done what Lady Alexis asked us to do,” Kane told the minions. “Let’s go home and prepare for company!”

The minions saluted before following Lord Kane back to the ship. Once back on board, they started up the engines and departed, heading back to base.

Lady Alexis, we’ve completed Phase Two, Kane thought to himself as the boat sped through the ocean. Now, for Phase Three: how to deal with the tourists from Earth who were brought along for the ride.

Author's Note

Okay, no one's been able to figure out the answer to the challenge from chapter 1, so I'm just going to give you guys more time.

Anyway, this chapter's challenge is: where did I get the name "Tiki Island" from? The island has no name in the game, but I picked it using one of the items you can build. If you can figure it out, I'll feature an OC of yours, regardless of race (doesn't even have to be a pony. Just has to be a show-related race) in a role of your choosing, whether it be agent, tourist, recruited minion, whatever (just don't choose super agent or Alexis' killer. Those are off-limits). This is actually going to be the prize for the first to solve each challenge, so this applies to chapter 1's challenge, as well.

EDIT: The chapter 2 challenge has been solved by Evilhumour. Congrats! For those of you who can't figure it out and don't care about me just telling you now that it's been solved, here's the answer: The bars in the hotels say "Tiki Bar" on their signs.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Happy reading!

Add Some Water...

After arriving back at the island, Lord Kane and the social minions who went with him disembarked at the dock and walked back to shore, where Alexis was waiting for them.

“So, how did it go?” Alexis asked, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

“It went perfectly, my lady,” Kane said with a bow. “We should be getting our first tourists in a week or two. Now, all we have to do is prepare for them.”

“Well, there’s still the tourists who were on the island when the satellite exploded,” Alexis said simply. “But I think I know how to deal with them. Come along, Kane. I’d like to show you the solution I thought of.”

“At once, my lady,” Kane replied with a nod before falling in step behind her.

The pair headed inside the base carved into the volcano, waiting only a couple of seconds for the disguised door to open up and allow entrance.

Alexis led Kane to the mess hall, where all six mixers were already being used to torture some of the tourists who had been taken along for the ride.

“I decided to try my hand at reconditioning their minds,” Alexis explained. “They’d only cause trouble if we left them as is, so I’ve decided to ‘convince’ them that they’d be better off joining us than trying to flee into an alien world they have no knowledge of.

“And how many are there, Lady Alexis?” Kane asked.

“Twenty,” Alexis replied. “Half are women, and unless there are other humans in this world, we’ll need some women besides myself and The Matron if our organization is to survive for eons.”

“From what we gathered, there are no humans here besides us,” Kane informed her. “The dominant race are a race of equine-like beings who call themselves ‘ponies’. There are others, but the ponies are the most dominant.”

“Interesting,” Alexis hummed to herself as the six tourists were finally let out of the mixers and led away for some verbal convincing. “This should be quite the interesting endeavor. Well, that was the last of the tourists, so we should have twenty new minions soon. The more, the better. It’ll be easy to take over this world and gain the adoration of its inhabitants once we have enough minions.”

“Ma’am,” a martial artist minion said, causing Alexis to turn around. “We found this… thing sneaking around the base, and you gave orders to capture anyone who found their way inside before we’re ready, so we captured it. What do you want us to do with it?”

The ‘thing’, looked like a cross between an equine and a very large insect. It was gray, had huge purple monochromatic eyes, a curved horn, veined wings, fangs, and its legs were riddled with holes.

“What is that?” Alexis asked in surprise. “Kane, is this one of the ‘ponies’ you spoke of? I didn’t think they’d look like that!”

“No, my lady, that is not a pony,” Kane said with a shake of his head. “I have no idea what it is, myself, or how it got here.”

“Stop talking like I’m not here!” the creature snapped, drawing all eyes to it. “Normally, I’d prefer to be ignored, but after hearing what you plan on doing, I want in. I’m a changeling. I can change my appearance to look like any being I’ve seen. I’m sure you’ll find my abilities quite useful. As for how I got here, I snuck aboard that boat of yours by copying one of those guys in red bathrobes and waited until you’d all left the boat before following you inside this place.”

“And why would you want to help us, Mister…” Alexis trailed off, indicating that this ‘changeling’ should finish her sentence for her.

“Actually, it’s General, Ma’am. General Mimic,” the changeling replied. “As for why I want to help you, I was a member of an army that tried to take over the ponies’ kingdom a while back, and after we were exiled from the Changeling Jungle by Emperor Carapace, we’ve been starving. Most of us have died, and our Queen’s whereabouts are unknown. We feed on love, you see. And being around a being who is adored by the entire planet would provide me with enough nourishment to last me a lifetime! Also, I want Carapace to pay for tossing us out of the Jungle, so helping you take over the world would give me the perfect opportunity to strike back at him.”

“Men, set our guest down,” Alexis commanded. The martial artists carrying him did just that. “Now, General Mimic, I need someone who can serve as an operative to help me learn more about this world and recruit new minions. Since you can easily disguise yourself, would you do the honors of helping me with that?”

“Of course, Ma’am,” the General replied. “It’d be an honor to serve you, Alexis, Future Empress of the Planet Equus.”

“I like the sound of that,” Alexis said, rubbing her chin and smiling deviously. “Welcome aboard, General. You’ll be serving as a henchman among my forces. All my minions will listen to you as if your orders were my own.” She held out a hand for the changeling to shake, and he met it with a hoof and they shook.

“It’s my pleasure,” Mimic announced happily. “I’ll get you those recruits and information, Ma’am. Don’t you worry. I’ll get them to you within a few days.”

“Perfect,” Alexis purred. “Things are coming along nicely.”

Meanwhile, back at Canterlot Palace, Celestia and Luna were working on organizing a new special defense force to protect all ponies as per the advice of John Steele.

“Sister, I think we’re ready to start assembling ponies to serve as agents for E.C.L.I.P.S.E.,” Luna said as Celestia filled out yet another sheet of paper to add to the stack piling up on her desk. “Besides, it’s time for you to lower the sun so I can raise the moon. Can you at least take a break long enough to do that?”

Celestia sighed before nodding and walking to the balcony so she could lower the sun. Once the fiery orb was gone from the sky, Luna sighed in relief and performed her task of raising the moon.

“If this Alexis is as dangerous as Mister Steele claims, we’ll need to ensure that we’ve left nothing out,” Celestia explained as she returned to writing. “I’ve already sent letters to Queen Tiamat of the Dragonlands, Emperor Carapace of the Changeling Jungle, Lord Canis of Canida, High Chief Zaman of Zebrica, King Triton of Trotlantis, and King Frederick of the Griffon Kingdom, but there are other nations that need alerting. I need to make sure that all of them know of the possible danger, so they can also prepare themselves. Add to that all the forms I need to fill out to authorize a pony special defense force, and that makes for a lot of paperwork.”

“I still don’t see why this is necessary,” Luna stated as she sat down beside her sister. “Can’t we just send Discord? Or Twilight and her friends? Either should be able to defeat her, if she’s even here at all.”

“According to Mister Steele, Alexis found the weaknesses of four of his world’s best agents and used those weaknesses against them to completely defeat them,” Celestia replied with a shake of her head. “Twilight and her friends are formidable, but they each have flaws that she could most likely exploit. And as for Discord, he’s unpredictable. His idea of defeating her could be to just turn her lair into chocolate, and I don’t think that’d stop her. No, we need ponies who are trained specifically to take on threats such as her.”

“Very well, sister,” Luna sighed. “Just don’t stay up too late, please?”

“Alright,” Celestia huffed. “I’ll go to bed in an hour, happy?”

“That will do,” Luna replied with a nod. “Good night, sister.”

Speedy Delivery wiped the sweat from his brow as the last set of fliers were marked for shipment the next morning. It was a difficult task, but he had accomplished it in a few hours, and those ‘humans’ had promised more gold bars in exchange for him making this a monthly thing. With all that money, he could easily provide for his wife and family, and maybe even help renovate the entire town!

Coltland was a small port town, but with all that money, he could help make the small town into a flourishing port city that everypony would know about, finally putting them on the map!

This is the beginning of a new life for not just my family, but all of Coltland! the postmaster thought to himself as he locked up for the night. Soon, everypony will know where Coltland is!

Author's Note

General Mimic is one of the OC suggestions from Evilhumour, who solved both the chapter 1 and chapter 2 challenges. His other OC will show up later.

Well, it's time for the chapter 3 challenge! Here's the question: Coltland is a parody of the name of a real-life city somewhere in the world. Which one is it?

EDIT: The challenge has been solved by Darksonickiller. Congrats! For those of you who don't care about me giving away the answer now that it's been solved, the answer is: Portland, Oregon

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and happy reading!

Juice the Lemons

The next day, Speedy Delivery opened up the Coltland post office to get ready to send out the fliers. There were about one hundred destinations, but he’d already contacted other post offices in the general area to help out, so the packages were bound to get delivered quickly.

As Speedy finished opening for business, several mailponies streamed in through the door to the office, and he smiled.

“Thank you for coming on such a short notice,” he informed the pegasi. “You and your respective mail services shall be reimbursed for this, so please don’t worry about payment. It’ll be taken care of.”

“Excuse me,” a gray pegasus mare with wall eyes cut in, holding up a wing.

“Yes, Miss…” the postmaster trailed off, forgetting her name.

“It’s Derpy Hooves.” the mare answered. “When do you need these delivered by? I have a mail route of my own back in Ponyville, you know.”

“Today would be preferable,” Speedy replied. “This is going to be something big for the entire world, after all. A new race has been discovered, and they’re advertising trips to their island home. I think it’s in every nation’s best interests to start relations with this race.”

“Wow, that does sound important,” Derpy said with wide eyes. “Okay, then. Just give me my packages, and I’ll be on my way!”

“I love your enthusiasm, Miss Hooves,” Speedy said with excitement. “Your packages are by the door. Just find the ones for the agencies in your area and have them delivered by the end of the day. Your compensation will be delivered to you tomorrow.”

Derpy and the other pegasi scrambled to grab their boxes and stuffed them into their mail bags before darting out the door and taking to the sky.

I’ll be giving up some of my new funds for this, but I don’t care, Speedy thought after the last pony left. We’ll still have more than enough to renovate the town.

A few hours later, two mares burst into Princess Twilight’s library at the same time, each one carrying a flier.

“Hey, Twi! You’re not gonna believe this!” Rainbow Dash blurted out before the other mare could say anything.

“Believe what, Rainbow?” Twilight asked as she looked up from the book she was reading. “Oh, hello Rarity.”

Rarity nodded, but let Dash continue speaking.

“There’s this new organization that’s being assembled in Canterlot called E.C.L.I.P.S.E.!” Rainbow exclaimed. “They’re supposed to be superspies or something! This’ll be my chance to show the Wonderbolts how cool I really am!”

“That’s great, Dash,” Twilight said enthusiastically before turning to Rarity. “So, what brings you here, Rarity?”

“The trip of a lifetime, that’s what!” Rarity gushed. “There’s this newly-discovered island paradise advertising trips for anypony who wants to go! I was about to buy tickets for all six of us!”

“That sounds fun,” Twilight replied with a smile. “Going to new places, learning new things… Oh! I’ll need to pack some paper and quills to take notes!”

Before Twilight could bolt upstairs, though, Rarity stopped her and showed her the flier. “Take a look at this, darling,” she said as she levitated the sheet of paper over to Twilight.

It read:

Newly-Discovered Island: Tiki Island

This small jungle island paradise is home to a newly-discovered race: “humans”. The humans wish to meet beings from all over the world, and have opened up their island home for tourism. With two high-class hotels and many sights to see, Tiki Island is perfect for a quick getaway for a few days!

A three-day trip costs 15 bits per ticket, with an extra 5 bit charge for each extra day.

A free train ride to Coltland will be provided for all participants, and a boat will take ticket holders to the island from there.

Don’t miss this chance! Rates are subject to change, so act quickly! Tiki Island awaits!

“Wow, a new race…” Twilight whispered. “This is even more groundbreaking than I thought! As a Princess, I need to meet this new race! Rarity, you buy those tickets. I’ll get the rest of the girls.”

“Wonderful, darling,” Rarity said with a nod. “Well, I’m off!”

With that, Rarity left, and Twilight was alone with Dash.

“You guys enjoy your trip,” Rainbow said as she turned to head out the door. “I’m joining these E.C.L.I.P.S.E. guys today! Later, Twi!”

Before Twilight could protest, Dash was gone, leaving a rainbow trail behind her as she sped towards Canterlot.

At Canterlot Palace, a large group of ponies was assembling outside the castle, all with the intent to apply for positions in the new organization created by the Princesses.

Dash touched down near the back of the crowd and craned her neck for a better look.

After what felt like ages, Princess Celestia exited the palace and after saying some things Dash couldn’t hear due to how far away she was, motioned for all the applicants to enter.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia greeted the cyan pegasus warmly as Dash flew past. “I had a feeling you’d show up.”

“Of course you did!” Dash replied, beaming with pride. “This is the chance of a lifetime!”

“Well, your instructor will be in the first conference room to your left,” Celestia told her. “Just follow the other ponies, and don’t be alarmed at his appearance.”

Dash shrugged and followed the other ponies to a large room filled with desks and chairs. She took a seat near the front, and waited for their “instructor” to show up.

I wonder why Celestia asked me not to be alarmed, Dash thought.

She soon found out as a tall, lanky biped entered the room and walked to the front to address all the ponies.

“Greetings, future defenders of Equestria,” the creature said. “My name is John Steele. I am a human, and I have knowledge about a possible threat to the peace and well-being of the entire world: a self-styled ‘Evil Genius’ named Alexis.”

Several ponies in the room gasped, but Dash was filled with excitement. Saving the world as a superspy would surely get the Wonderbolts to beg her to join them!

“Alexis is a human, like me,” Steele continued. “She has a colossal ego, and wishes to stroke that ego by conquering the world and gaining the adoration of the entire planet. Your mission will be to locate and stop her. I can’t guarantee that all of you will survive, but more than just your own lives are at stake, here. This entire world is at stake!”

Many ponies gasped again, but Rainbow was now on the edge of her seat.

“I have knowledge of how to train agents in four separate fields,” John added. “These are: soldiers, thieves, investigators, and saboteurs Alexis’s forces are formidable, and we’ll need ponies who can fight, and fight extremely well. She also has a tendency to send out minions to steal valuable items from around the world, so we’ll need ponies who can recover those items if she manages to pilfer them. Of course, we also need ponies who can bring back evidence of her actions, to ensure that once we think we’ve found her base, that we’re right. Finally, she’ll likely have her base loaded with traps, so some ponies who can eliminate those hazards will be important, as well.”

“Now, I’ve assembled a team of experts on pony abilities to help me determine which field each of you should train in for best results,” Steele continued, motioning several guradsponies and doctors over to join him. “We will evaluate each and every one of you, and then assign each of you a field to train in.”

After that, the applicants were led to another room, where each was tested on all sorts of things: speed, endurance, precision with ranged weapons, stealth, strength in hoof-to-hoof combat, alertness, intelligence, and many other things that made Rainbow’s head spin.

After several hours of evaluations, John Steele himself walked up to Rainbow and took her aside.

“You’ve shown great potential, Miss Dash,” Steele informed her. “But we can’t seem to find a field to fit you.”

Dash looked down sadly. Was she being rejected? Was Steele telling her to go home?

“Normally, one field is enough to fit an agent’s expertise,” John continued. “But in your case, you show great potential for being both a soldier and a saboteur. We can’t pick just one, for that would be an insult to your abilities.”

“What are you saying?” Dash asked in confusion.

“I’m saying that you can’t just be one, Miss Dash,” Steele replied. “You need to be both, if you are to be a successful agent. I didn’t inform the others in the briefing, but there’s a fifth kind of agent. One so special, that an organization can only have one. Where I come from, the agency I worked for had me in that position. I’m referring to the special title of ‘super agent’. A super agent is fantastic in two fields, not one, and is the best the agency has to offer. What I’m telling you is that you have the makings of a super agent in you, and the only one who can train you to be one without you discovering your potential for yourself, after months of rising through the ranks, is me. Do you accept my proposal, Miss Dash? Will you let me train you in the art of the super agent?”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped, and she couldn’t form words for several minutes. If she really could be a ‘super agent’ like Steele claimed, there’d be no way the Wonderbolts wouldn’t want her after this!

“I’ll do it!” Dash finally exclaimed. “Teach me all you’ve got, John! I’m ready for anything!”

“That’s just what I was hoping to hear,” the super agent said with a smile. “Follow me, Miss Dash. First, I’m going to teach you about how to be the ultimate saboteur, since I actually am one, myself. I’ll need help training you in the art of the soldier, seeing as I’m an investigator, not a soldier, but we’ll get there after I teach you what I can on my own. Also, mastering the art of a super agent will render you nearly unbeatable My mastery of the art has kept Alexis from ever being able to kill me. She’s captured me, but she hasn’t been able to kill me, no matter how hard she’s tried.”

The thought of being nigh invincible caused Dash to shake with excitement. She couldn’t wait to start training!

Meanwhile, Twilight and her friends—minus Rainbow Dash and plus Spike—were riding the train to the port town of Coltland mentioned on the flier. They were trying to have a nice, pleasant ride, but one pony kept trotting through their car and wouldn’t stop gushing over the trip she was taking.

“Oh, this is going to be so great!” Lyra Heartstrings squealed as she dashed through their car for what felt like the hundredth time. “Real-live humans! I knew they were real! I mean, why else would Orion look like one if they didn’t exist?”

Thankfully, the door slammed shut behind the mint green unicorn, leaving the five mares and one baby dragon in peace once more.

“It’s too bad Dashie couldn’t come,” Pinkie moped. “She’s gonna miss out on the party I’m gonna throw for the humans! Every new pony deserves a party, and even though these humans aren’t ponies, they still get a party!”

“Sugarcube, Ah thought ya promised not ta throw them any parties,” Applejack groaned. “They’re the hosts, here. If they want a party, they’ll throw it.”

“I hope the animals there are nice,” Fluttershy whispered. “I heard they have really cute monkeys there.”

“Doesn’t this sound like something out of a superspy comic, though?” Spike piped up. “I mean, an island is suddenly discovered in the middle of the ocean, a new race nopony’s met before, a volcano in the middle of—”

Don’t be so paranoid, Spike,” Twilight said, cutting him off. “It’s just an island with a new race. Don’t start calling them evil just because of something you read in some comic.”

“She’s right, Spikey-wikey,” Rarity added before the dragon could protest. “This is a chance to see new fashion! New ideas for design! Don’t start pointing claws before you get to know them!”

That shut Spike up, and they travelled in relative silence for the rest of the train ride—excepting Lyra’s constant interruptions.

Upon arriving at the small port town, Twilight and her friends gasped at how many ponies had shown up for the trip, as well as all the other races that had shown up.

“Diamond dogs, griffons, minotaurs…” Twilight breathed. “So many different races have turned out for this! This is amazing!”

“Sorry to keep all of you waiting,” a lanky biped in a red bathrobe said as he approached, flanked by two chubbier bipeds in red suits, one on either side. “I’m Henry Parker. I’ll be piloting the boat to Tiki Island. Now, if you’ll just follow us to the docks, we’ll be on our way.”

At the docks, a white metal boat was waiting for them. It looked far more advanced than any boat Twilight had seen before, and she was eager to learn how it worked.

But before Twilight could ask, Lyra ran up to the human and started shaking his hand vigorously with both front hooves.

“Pleased to meet you, Henry-the-Human! I’m Lyra Heartstrings! I always knew your kind existed! Can you answer some questions for me? I’ve got so many!”

“Whoa, slow down there,” Henry chuckled. “There’s a little over a hundred of us back at the island. I’m sure you’ll find someone to answer your questions there. We’ve got to get going!”

Lyra’s ears drooped, but she let the human lead them into the ship, and they cast off, travelling at a speed that Twilight had thought was impossible for such a vehicle.

“It’s about a hundred fifty nautical miles out, so we should be there in a couple hours,” Henry explained when Twilight asked him how long they’d take to get there. Her jaw dropped at his response. The boat could travel at seventy-five knots? That was incredible!

As General Mimic piloted the boat in the guise of one of the minions, he started thinking about that green unicorn.

Her love of humans should provide me with a good meal to keep me satisfied until I can start feeding off of the adoration Alexis gets from her minions, he thought. I’ll be back to full strength soon, and then I can really get things started! Alexis, you picked the right henchman when you hired me. You won’t regret letting me join once I’ve got my full strength back. Carapace will pay!

Author's Note

Okay, the challenge for this chapter is special: I can't think of something for E.C.L.I.P.S.E. to stand for, so whoever can come up with a clever enough backronym for it wins the challenge, and not only will they get a featured OC, but they'll also get their answer to be the official meaning of E.C.L.I.P.S.E.!

EDIT: The challenge has been won by Darksonickiller. Congrats on another challenge won! The winning entry was "Elite Corps for Lasting International Peace and the Safety of Equestria". This is now what E.C.L.I.P.S.E. stands for, so I'll probably use the full name a few times in the story.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and happy reading!