Pretending She's Beside Me
On My Own
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A short story by Lily_the_Princess
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Luna stared out of her balcony doors as the rain poured down upon the city. The dark gray clouds covered the sky, blocking out any of the beautiful full moon's silver rays. The sounds of raindrops pitter-pattering on the floor of the balcony and the ground below did little to soothe Luna's mind. The rain merely added to her feeling of misery and loneliness. She longed for her elder sister, Celestia, to wrap a loving wing around her back, to tell her that she was there for Luna, and that she would always protect her from harm. Celestia could do no such thing, for the Solar Princess was currently in an important meeting with ambassadors from the Griffon Kingdom, the Crystal Empire, and a holographic image of the Sea Pony Queen of the Sea Kingdom.
"You should be holding Night Court," Tia had said. "The ponies of Equestria are your subjects as well, and they deserve to have you hear their voices and problems. It should not take too long." But the meeting had turned from a discussion to an ongoing dispute over land that both the Crystal Empire and the Griffon Kingdom desired. The last time the sisters had spoken was when Celestia had left Luna in the Throne Room to hold court.
Luna sighed, all to easily remembering the sinking feeling in her heart when no one pony showed up. Many were still scared of her, others demanded that she be banished once more, while the majority had gotten their business done in the day so that they could sleep soundly at night.
She glanced out the balcony once more. The rain was still falling hard, but Luna cared no more. She had always felt refreshed and more free in the rain, especially when flying. Being an alicorn, the cold would never be able to really harm her. Her horn glowed with a light blue shimmer, and she flung open the doors, stepping outside. The doors were quickly shut, as to prevent her room from becoming wet. The rain beat against her navy blue coat, soaking it even darker. Luna inhaled deeply, smiling faintly as she smelled wet pavement. That particular smell always comforted her. In fact, when she was outside, the rain seemed to accent every smell.
As she spread her wings out to her full extent, she turned around to look at her reflection in the glass. Her ethereal mane and tail shimmered and sparkled even more with the rain reflecting and landing on it. While they were a bit loaded down from the weight of the water, they still flowed like a river of starlight. She felt no pride or vanity in her beauty, merely regarding it as a fact of life. Natural born alicorns with lots of power and years of experience always had manes and tails that moved in an unseeable breeze.
Luna turned away from her reflection, shook her wings slightly to get rid of their cold, stiff feeling, and flew down. She paused briefly in the gardens, taking in their fragrant perfumes and beautiful flowers, before gliding into the town. She landed softly on one of the streets, which shined like silver in the rain. She looked at the nearby park, and saw how all of the lights were misty and rippling in the pond. Luna smiled as she took in all of the beauty rain caused. But her smile soon faded, for ponies didn't like rain much. They all hid themselves within their houses, and did not come out until the gray clouds left. Sure, the farm ponies loved the rain, for it nourished their crops, but that was only a cold comfort.
Her thoughts on how ponies never really liked rain turned into painful memories of a thousand years ago, each one like an icy dagger through her heart. Luna's breathing became slightly labored, and her steps became slower and slower until she found herself by the pond in the park. Her reflection stared up at her, eyes wide with fear, and tears in the corners. Luna sniffled as a drop fell to the surface, but one could hardly tell if it was a tear or raindrop. Luna sat down heavily, lying down as she continued to cry.
Why can't Tia ever be here for me when I need it most?
Luna had thought that as well, when she first started feeling neglected. She had always thought it, and it became the seed of her downfall. Sticks and stones may hurt, but the wounds that they opened closed. Words, on the other hoof, left deep scars that never truly healed, leaving a mark upon the memory that could either be accepted, or feared, hated, and rejected. Luna's breath began to quicken as the tear kept flowing, and she yearned for her sister to pick up her drooping head, and to wipe away her tears with a wing. She wanted Celestia to show that she did care for Luna, and that she really did forgive her.
Secretly, Luna had always blamed Celestia for what had happened. She hated herself for doing so, but in a secret part of her mind, she partially believed in it. Bad experiences can leave traces in your mind, and for Luna, there was still a shred of Nightmare Moon's beliefs and thoughts.
I wish I had never done such terrible things, Luna began to think, and I wonder what could have happened if she had been there for me. Shakily, she picked herself off of the grass, and wiped her eyes with her own wings. She looked around, seeing that the rain had began to stop. In the darkness, the rain shimmered on the trees, looking like they were full of starlight.
Luna started, almost subconsciously, to walk out of the park. She didn't pay much attention to where her hooves were bringing her, and only barely noticing that the rain had let up. Her glorious moon shone once more upon Equestria, bathing the land in an enchanting silver glow. Her stars once more twinkled in the night sky, adding to its alluring appearance. As Luna walked the empty streets of Canterlot, she pondered over what could have been those thousand years ago. Part of her mind yearned for a second chance, and to change the past. The other half, however, was angry at Celestia, and itched for a confrontation with the Solar Princess.
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"Well, I'm glad we got your dispute settled, and so, it is decided that the land is declared neutral. It will be made into a trading area with a town and a building for ambassadors from other countries. You will both have voices in deciding what laws are passed, but I will be a part of votes as well."
The Griffon and Crystal Ambassadors nodded in agreement, and shook each other's hand/hoof. Celestia sighed in relief, and smiled. The holographic Sea Pony Queen smiled patronizingly at the two, who had finally stopped arguing. Celestia glanced out the large window, her smile fading a tad as she regretted not being able to say good night to Luna. She would have to make it up to her somehow.
Celestia trotted quickly to the Throne Room, hoping that Luna had not left. She paused before entering, fixing her jewelry and mane. She pushed open the double doors, and smiled as she saw Luna upon the throne.
"Luna!" Luna looked up slowly, and Celestia was a bit taken aback by her miserable look, and how she looked as if she had been out into the rain, but poorly dried off. "Sister, what has happened to you? You look sad and cold." She flew over to Luna, wrapping a wing around her in an embrace. Her horn shimmered with golden hue as she cast a warming spell upon Luna. The darker mare smiled warmly as she finally accepted Celestia's hug.
I can never let her know of my thoughts until I am ready, Luna thought to herself.
