Ponyville Noire

by CoolGuy83

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 945

Matthew is a fan of the show My Little Pony, he is also one of the most laziest people on the planet at times, but he gets the job done.(Sometimes poorly, but he gets it done.) This the story of how Matthew became a detective in Equestria.

This is a story about a young man named Matthew. Matthew is a slacker in school, barely helps out around his house, and just sits around watching his favorite show, My Little Pony. However, there is one thing that Matthew is good at, and that is playing detective. Of course, I use the word playing quite literally, as he is not, in fact, a detective. At least, not yet. As of now, he is your average 16 year old brony, just wanting to escape the world and go to Equestria, and that, is exactly what he is going to get. Hopefully.

Published 2014-07-29 00:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-29 00:10:03 UTC

Introductions

Chapter 1: Introductions

Hi there, my name is Matthew. Welcome to my story in which I embark on a heroic journey, filled with amazing...amazingness...and stuff. Oh, also can't forget the sheer amount of bone breaking action packed goodness that is maybe probably not in store for you. At this point, I think I will let you decide for yourselves. Onward...to my story....

I turned over on my side and sighed. "God damn it, why can't I just...I don't know, defy the laws of the universe and go to Equestria, it would be so much easier there. No more having to clean the house EVERY damn day, no more doing dishes, no more work, just relaxing and having a great time with everypony." I sighed yet again. I sat up in my bed and looked out my window. It was extremely dark outside tonight. I came in my room while it was still light out, I must have been sulking in here for quite a while then. I live on the second story of my house so I can get a pretty nice view of our lawn and driveway, as well as our shed. I hate that shed. Just looking at it makes me want to tear it to the ground.

My Dad and I built it around a year ago, and by "my Dad and I" I mean just me. He never helps me with any sort of project anymore, and the shed was a big one, and I had to do it alone. That's why it turned out so shitty, everything I do is terrible. I put a lot of god damn effort into that shed, and all my Dad does is pat me on the back and say, "Well, at least you tried."

Yeah, sure, "at least I tried". I wanted to punch him so badly, just once, to get my point across and hopefully relieve myself of some anger. Anyways...I'm getting off track here, what was I going on about just a second ago? Oh right, looking out the window. Wait...no it was...ah, screw it. I'll remember it later. I'm too tired to think about anything right now anyway.

I laid back down and closed my eyes. Just for a day. Just one. That's all I ask for. As I began to doze off, I heard a voice come from the other side of the room.

"I suppose I could arrange that." Wait a minute...My eyes shot open and I sat straight up again in my bed.

"John de Lancie? Is that you?" I looked around my bedroom and squinted to find anything in the darkness. I saw what appeared to be a shadowy figure in the corner of my room.

"No, try again." Then it finally struck me.

"Ooooh. Q, from Star Trek, right?" I heard a facepalm in the corner of my room and then my lamp on my desk turned on, its light shining directly on Discord. "Oh, okay. I see what this is." I started. "This is one of those lucid dream things isn't it?" Discord then sighed and walked over to my bed. He sat down in my chair and looked me in the eyes. Then he slapped me and got up.

"No, it isn't." I rubbed my cheek and looked at him in disbelief.

"Okay, um...I was drugged then!" Discord put his claw and paw on his temples and sighed.

"Okay, you know what? Forget it. I won't take you to Equestria." I then started to laugh at him. "What's so funny?" He asked me.

"I'm just joking with you, man! I'm trying to get a rise out of you, and its working!" I got up out of bed and grabbed his claw. "Nice to meet you, I'm-"

"Matthew, yes I know. Look, I've got a very tight schedule to keep, so if you will follow me, please." I nodded and followed him to a corner of my room. He touched the wall and it turned into a portal. "After you." He gestured for me to walk through the portal. I looked between him and the portal a few times. Then I held my breath, ran forward, and closed my eyes.

Nothing. That was all I felt, or didn't feel, for that matter. Just a large, open feeling of nothing. I opened my eyes and everything was black. I tried to move my body but it felt like I was being held back. Almost as if there was chains around my entire body. Each time I pulled to move a limb, the chains just got tighter. I relaxed and calmed down my breathing. I then shouted out one name that I hoped would work. "Discord!" The name echoed on and on for quite a long time. Suddenly the chains broke, and I began to fall. It felt like I was covered in quick sand while I was falling though. Every movement I made was difficult and I really had to try to make a small movement.

Suddenly, a sharp pain had risen all the way up my spine. It stayed for a good 10 seconds before it vanished. As soon as it did, I was blinded by a large white light. The light surrounded me more and more, making me have to cover my eyes more and more, and thus, making me crumple up into a ball and keep my eyes shut tight.

"Come on, get up already." I slowly got up from my crumpled up position and squinted my eyes, hoping that they would adjust. After a few seconds, I was standing straight up, with my eyes open wide. Ahead of me...was Ponyville.