The Romantic Misadventures of Spiced Tea

by Yokal

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 48618

You are stranded in Equestria by means unknown. Now as a pony, you try and make a living in a town called Ponyville

You are stranded in Equestria by means unknown. And now by a stroke of luck or an incredibly suspicious offer you are now a citizen of this great land and turned into a mackerel...no you silly, a pony! So, in the meantime you find yourself trying to live a simple life but in a town like Ponyville and anything can happen!

So join, Spiced Tea as he battles mood swings, the seasons, a deceptively sneaky perverted and otherwise all around royal monarch, the longing for meat of any sort, biological clocks, mishaps and your basic set of comedic romance cliches as you journey in and around Equestria [well not really as you dont really travel anywhere because I did not click on the adventure tag] and perhaps you might find the love of your life to be the pony next to you...or ponies next to you.

[Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the OC. Everything here is by Lauren Faust and HASBRO]

Published 2012-04-13 17:34:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-19 06:13:44 UTC

Prologue - It's go time!

Prologue – It’s go time!

Nothing, is what met you as you neared the rift coming from your world. Neither rhyme nor reason as the rift closed before barely explaining your presence in this world. You were about to tell them of it, the way back to Earth. But sadly you had to seek their help , you knew somewhat that the portal only goes one way. And as your fate has it, the portal closed even before they lay witness to the world beyond its vortex.

"It seems there is nothing more we can do about the portal now."

"There is a faint trace of the rift sister. I could feel it still pulsing."

"As do I dear sister, as do I."

It is ironic really.

One night, you decided to read up on vortices, wormholes and trans-dimentionalism. Your desire to read stemmed from a heated discussion with a colleague at the college. And being the bitter type in a losing argument, you decided a little research is in order. So, upon reaching the library, you head off to the wing with most forgotten titles and motes of dust. A little while later, with the help of a cute librarian, you found what you were looking for. Giving her a most generous thanks in her assistance, you head to one of the nearby reading tables

As you were about to open the dusty tome, it is when everything blacked out. You then found yourself moments later in a swirling portal heading to this world.

"It is alright. And if a door closes most certainly it could still be opened right?" you say.

"But it also means that we all have to find a “key” so to speak," the dark pony said, her eyes dimly glowing as she checked the ground around the former rift.

So that is it.

You are now on your own in a land that seems to have come from a fairy-tale of sorts. Marooned. The portal has deposited your body onto their garden and they look as if they are not surprised to see a human. And by the initial reaction before these Princesses, you feel as if you are a living specimen. What is a stranded human to do now?

"What now?"

Well, with your luck, they might offer you a place to stay-

"Well, it seems there is none we can do...for now."

"Indeed. For as long as we know that we can open a portal, that means prior to do all this work, you would need to find a place for yourself here in Equestria, hmm?"

Huh?

"Sister, are you implying-"

"-Yes. It has been a long since a species, such as yourself, has graced our presence. Though, I would think our little ponies would panic if they beheld a living human for the first time in centuries."

"So that means I can-" Vertigo then starts to claim your consciousness but you held on.

Tired, you sit down on the gazeebo floor, finding a good spot on the lain red velvet carpet on the marble. The acceptably comfy red carpet seems to insulate you from the floors natural cool. Giving in to the desire for a well needed stretch, you do so. And as you look up, you find both ponies staring at you. You stare back at them with a more than blank expression; albeit a bit goofy as the smaller of the two gave out a light chuckle.

You happen to notice a glint in the eye from the regal white pony before you.

"I wonder…It has been so long that…survival is promised...but of course there would be appropriated funding...."

"Celly, what art you mumbling to yourself? I have seen that look before and I feel rather uncomfortable with you staring at our guest...with that expression."

"Luna if I may, I have thought of a plan that could help our guest here."

"I am afraid to ask. But surely whatever you thought of would be more than enough, dear sister."

Hmm?

Celestia trotted toward you with that 'smile' of hers, gesturing you to stand. She probably wants you to bugger off or something but no one is that cruel. But you feel that whatever she says could be a good thing...you hope.

"It seems that you have caught yourself in a predicament here. But not to worry, I am prepared to grant you an offer till that should you accept would benefit you greatly."

You feel yourself taken aback by this, as surely you feel your spirit uplifted.

"I can't imagine what is going through your thoughts, but in any event I think you might enjoy what I am about to propose."

"Honestly, anything you say would be neither be bad nor would get me to low spirits. So lay it on me."

"Yes sister, what is this you have planned?"

"I am prepared to offer you citizenship in my kingdom. And to prevent any misunderstanding and mass hysteria among our subjects, I can transform you into a pony form of your choosing. It would be awkward for ponies to notice a human walking down the streets, especially when the last humans where seen more than 2000 years ago"

The white monarch says as you notice her gesture for you to follow along with her sister.

"Though it might take some time and effort. But rest assured that while we are questing for a way for you to return, you might find living as one of us might prove a worthwhile distraction. You might even decide, if you wish to do so, to stay here instead and provide us with the knowledge of your world."

Wait.

"That is...That sounds like a brilliant plan dear sister. But...are you sure this is the right course of action?"

"It is. I find it also to be the more logical solution, for the moment at least. And I think you would benefit from this as well Luna."

A resounding ding is echoing in your head right now. Were you just offered an invitation to stay?

"Y-your majesties, you both are too kind. I mean I would not want to impose"

"Nonsense, you would not be imposing in our kingdom. Though I do not know what my sister is scheming, I don't believe that it would be of harm to you."

"True. Luna and I are prepared to grant you citizenship and transform you as you see fit."

"Then in what state of mind would I be to refuse this offer?"

They nod to each other with smiles adorning their faces. Though Celestia's smile is bigger than that of Luna's, you sense a great foreboding with it. But what harm could come from a regal, mother figure like Celestia.

"Then I would take that as a yes. So Lulu if you don’t mind retrieving us the royal seals and a couple of pages of parchment. We have some signing to do."

"Huh? Oh! At once dear sister," Luna excused herself with a bow. She moves passed her sister but then stops to face you "Before I go I would like to ask you, what kind of pony would you like to be transformed into? And mind you that the effect would persist as long as you are here on Equestria."

"You mean to not all of you are. . .like the both of you?"

"Well yes, you could say we are very, very special."

"Alrighty, what would be my choices then?"

Luna chuckled. It is then you notice her horn starts to glow. Before you had time to react, the room is engulfed by a black twinkling mass. It shrouds the room, from floor to ceiling, with a most spectacular sight. You are now floating amongst an illusion of stars and galaxies, space. Celestia too joined her sister, with a chuckle as her horn started to glow as well. Only this time, ghostly figures of small horse, a pegasus and a unicorn appear before you.

"You have the strong willed Earth Pony, the Mystical Unicorn and the Soaring Pegasi. Each tribe has their own unique properties and strengths."

"Yes and to be a little more in depth: The Earth pony is your basic hard working pony with strength and attributes that connect them towards nature. The Unicorn is aligned to use their magic and all its properties; they somewhat are a less physical pony and they depend more on their abilities, magic. And finally the Pegasi, they have the abilities of the weather which let them mold it to their will as they soar through the clouds" Celestia approaches each ghost respectively, pointing out their traits as she explains.

You stare at the three ghosts before you, each a tempting choice. You ask to approach them and Celestia steps out of the way for you. With those mentioned it seems that you have to make one of three choices-

"Unless."

"Huh?"

"Unless you would opt to be a little more adventurous, I or we could use another Alicorn to keep us company during cold and lonely nights-"

You heard something break. It sounded like someone dropped a glass.

"W-What?! TIA!"

"What?! I haven't had human before, this is a rare event! Can’t a mare have any fun at her age?"

"That is clearly not what I meant!"

"Luna, do you know how lonely I get when I realize that I am too young for any pony this day and age? Think of all the rumors that would fly around: ‘Princess Celestia, Craddle Robber!’ or ‘Royal Spinster strikes again!’ That would look very bad indeed"

"Tis not even the issue here. The issue here is that you are suggesting that our guest be transformed into you play thing? Celestia please we should be models of purity! Chastity!"

"And you said it yourself that this venture would benefit us all? What say you little sister?"

"I-I did say that but in a scientific sense of course! Study of a purely academic in nature, of in-depth physical examination of-"

"Oh my! Planning to experiment first with the human? My dear little sister indeed has become kinky-"

"DAMN YOU! Human, do not listen to her words!"

"Oh! So you want to be first then! Or maybe, all you needed to do is but ask if you wanted to share-"

"S-SHUT UP!"

"Or if you are willing…but I am not sure what the public would make for our scandalous incest-"

"THAT IS IT…ITS GO TIME!"

A sly smile appears as you ponder away, totally ignoring a royal rumble commencing in before you. You chuckle at that...Royal Rumble...heh.

Still, you weigh in your choices. And the truth of the matter is, you have nowhere else to go. You consider yourself lucky to have even landed in front of these generous souls, and they are this realm's royalty to boot. It could have gone far worse if it weren't the case.

"Well in all due respect your majesties, all three sound like wonderful choices," you bite you lip as you say this "though the last one leaves me confused somewhat on the adventure part. Could I just opt to transform between the four? All these tribes seem to offer promising adventures and it is hard for me to pick just one."

Both look bemused with sly grin on each face as they got off from their impromptu wrestling match. Tidying each other up before venturing the proposition even further, both pick up their crowns and wear them.

"This would make for a good experiment. But let me ask you how would you see this compromise?" Luna says as she clearly is exited about the prospect.

"Well I would choose one form. I could leave the Earth pony form out but I cannot decide between Pegasus or Unicorn. So that means I would have to choose which one would be active for a time. Or have both active for a limited time of course but at least my frame would be sturdy like an earth pony.”

"It sounds like you are considering the Alicorn-" Celestia was cut short with a kneejerk to her side, clearly coming from her sibling. Who, at the moment, is looking at nothing in particular while humming a tune.

"Alright, but if I would grant this compromise you would have to choose between Unicorn or Peagasi or even-"

"Don’t you go there."

"Aww, can’t I haf a widdle bit of fun here?"

That pout, dang....

"Remember this as there is a price from being grated this change. You would not be able to retain your human form while you are within our land and succeeding and surrounding realms, dimensions, parallelisms, and some such." Luna said after having looked away from her sister’s pouty gaze.

"But tell me, what would you chose if given a base form like you suggested."

"Well I think that my hands down choice would be Unicorn. Magic still has this hold on me since I was young. So I think I would have a pretty good understanding with its basics at least. Or what I have played with in RPGs at least."

"That sounds like a wise decision"

"It seems is though we are burning light"

"Yes, well now that we have this settled. Now is the time to work out the details on paper now, shall we sister?"

"Yes Sister. We should also prepare a private feast for our guest. I know you might be peckish after your travels thru space-time, yes?"

"You could say that"

"Well then, by your lead, dear Celestia..."

"cough....Molestia"

"cough....Lunaughty"

Author's Note

Updated as of March, 2014.

Re-reading does help sometimes when I get lost with writing the next chapters. But the nasty side effect is that I make minor edits to the story, I wonder if you guys can spot the changes?

Chapter 1 - Anything I should know about?

Chapter 1 – Anything I should know about?

“I am going to kill her someday...”

You mutter to yourself as you look towards the clear sky. The hot sun bearing upon your new pony body and is sweating profusely. You stagger a glance at that hot fiery ball and think. But alas your thoughts did not last as scientifically, anything with eye balls that stare directly into sunlight tend to go blind by searing their retinas. You put your new hooves out to carefully rub your eyes; you make sure that you don’t poke your eye out.

“...If it is even possible.”

You continue to walk along the path headed to the place that your new monarchs have suggested you could go to. They mention a small village in the countryside next to some vast expanse of forest, wherein a certain troll of a Princess’ protégé resides. They said it is a nice place to live and having to attest that as her student admittedly wanted to stay and live there.

‘If there is any way to get you back home she may find it for you,’ she said.

‘And if not then at least you have made a very good friend. We know we did,’ the smaller of the diarch said with a smile.

'Also, if you feel like returning to Canterlot, I might have a position for you in my royal entourage-'

WHACK.

'Or you may even be part of the night court as Luna's consort-'

THWACK.

‘Well, at least it beats having to become a royal guard at their every beck at and call.’

Being used to read and look at porn has led your thoughts to this strange and terrifying notion. A notion regarding the equestrian army, specifically the ones required to serve royalty. That thought includes a princess, several restraints, a whip and a mattress. A sudden chill went up your spine at the thought, sending your eyes and mind to shut itself down, like a self-defense mechanism.

“N-nope, will not enlist! Never!” you shout out as you continued, hastening your pace. The cart hitched to you made clattering sounds as you go.

They have been kind enough to see you off with a cart and some provisions in them.

A few days worth of apples and oranges, a bedroll, some flint and steel, your basic survival knife made easy for muzzle manipulation, a small oval shaped you-don’t-know-what-is-this-doing-here locket containing a picture of Celestia and Luna, a copy of a book containing professions and livelihood ideas, a hastily written manual of sorts on how to be a pony, smaller trinkets and the like, a decent pouch of bits and some important documents. Which include your citizenship papers, a map, and a well written character reference from Princess Luna. Just in case.

The cart is somewhat heavy but does not bother you, due to the innate abilities of ponies perhaps? Whatever the case, you find yourself respecting their equine equivalents back home.

'If I ever get home.'

*sigh*

You take a moment to slow down, breathing in some air to take your mind off your panic attack. Filling your thoughts with the surrounding countryside, you view it all like its brand new. Everything looks right by your standards, lots of lush green vegetation with a whole lot of pure fresh air. Which makes the thought of living here pleasant, to say the least. For you that is.

Picturesque.

‘Think of it like a vacation. A long needed and sudden vacation away from all the pollution, the noise, the people, the well missed technology, your bed, your stash under your bed and in your pc, and most importantly MEAT!’

You have accepted the reality that you are now a pony.

‘No more meat...Crud.’

You decide to make camp for the night. Up a ways away, you notice a nearby fork in the road that has some travelers around who already made camp. And luck would have it that a small sign by the fork:

‘Travelers Fork: Don’t forget to pack your spoon!’

“Uhh...” you say to no one in particular.

You look around the campsite in search for a good spot to setup. Unfortunately, most of the good bits are taken and the only spots left are near a road sign and a spooky cave. Being the cautious type, you choose to settle right next to the sign.

Moments later after having setup, you decide to read the sign near you. There is some sunlight left to burn after all and signs of dusk letting in the night seem evident. Looking up to it, the sign says:

‘Back: Canterlot, Left: Ponyville, Left: Sweet Apple Acres, Left: Everfree Forest, Center: Whitetail Woods, Right: Diamond Dog Quarry: KEEP OWT!’

The last bit looking like it was written over using a claw. Pondering if this sign would signify of a nearby danger, you decide that it is the least of your concerns. As you walk back towards your cart, you can smell what the other travelers are cooking up at their respective spits. Even for a vegetarian race the food smells wonderful when cooked.

‘Perhaps it really is not so bad,’ your stomach reminds you of this fact as it growls.

“It seems as tho’ you need somethin ta eat there pardner.”

You swing your head around as a big red stallion with a cutie mark of a green apple approaches you, cart in tow. You give him a nod as you fetch some apples and oranges in you cart. Grabbing some, you settle near your fire. Which you remember, was quite the challenge lighting one with hooves gave you. You move a bit to find a comfy position, you then notice the stallion prepare his own fire. You call to him and motion that he is quite welcome to your fire. He approaches with a look of gratitude.

“Much appreciated,” he says with a hint of weariness as he unhitched himself from his cart that he parked next to yours, grabbing some of his own food as he joins you by the fire.

“No problem,” you say before taking your first bite.

Both of you eat in comfortable silence and before you got to finish your last apple.

“Here, t’help wash that all down” he offers you a bottle of apple juice.

“Thanks,” you say before hastily chugging down what the bottle has to offer.

“Eeyup.”

You set the bottle aside after it’s all spent; you then cleared away what remains of your chow and the red stallion, likewise, doing the same. You then remember what manners are. And they are important but then again eat first ask anything later, a classic male weakness. You both then sat back down near the fire before you spoke up.

“Thanks again for the juice. My name's Spiced Tea.” you offer your hoof

“Eeyup. The names Big Macintosh, but you can call my Big Mac. It’s much simpler that way,” he responds with a hoof as well.

“By th’looks of your kit, you must be new on the road.”

’Remember your cover at all times.’

"I-It's that obvious huh?"

"Eeyup an'specially noticeable that there new cart of yours"

“Y-Yeah, I’ve recently got out of the university at Canterlot and heard of this quiet village next to the Everfree forest. Ponyville, ever hear of it Big Mac?” remember to stick with your background story.

“Eeyup.”

"I hear that nice things about it."

"Eeyup."

“I also hear of the scenic farmlands around.”

“Eeyup”

“Is it a good place to settle down?” a reply. That is good.

“Eeyup.”

“Heard anything bad that happens near on in the village?”

“Nnope.”

"Anything particularly bad in the forest next to the town?”

"Nnope."

"Um, nothing dastardly and bloodthirsty comes out from the forest and stalk about the town hungering for hu...um, pony flesh at night, right?" you say while tapping your hooves nervously together.

"Nnope."

“Can’t you describe it without replying in one word?”

“Nnope.”

“Anything I should know about?”

“Well, aside from the locals, the frequent parties and town wide festivals, the mass food poisoning a year ago, our resident librarian turned national hero, the occasional animal stampede, the chance of near fatal experiences from the local fauna who comes into the town, a recent visit from a god of chaos and discord, tabloid gossip, an incident with a stuffed doll, random pranks, the recent enslavement by bent on revenge but now apologetic showmare, environmental hazards and the occasional break into song. I hear tha’ place is quite nice”

"Oh an' the friendliest townfolk you'll ever meet."

You just stand there dumfounded.

Scratch that, you feel as though the look on your face shows signs of a mental breakdown. It is the kind of breakdown that could be attributed to a horrific realization. Like for instance, the realization that Princess Celestia has led you into a trap, serving her as her personal slave. But that is not the look that Big Mac sees. The look you have on you right now is a mixture of panic, disgust, some of diarrhea, a hint of an eye twitch and the essence of a post-modern painting. Which by some degree has impressed the red stallion, his muffled chuckles can attest to that.

‘Ah’m just kidding ya, ah live near there on a farm at the outskirts of the town. Ponyville is as quiet and as peaceful as anypony can dream of. It’s a great place t’settle down.”

You let out a much needed sigh of relief. You did not notice that you held your breather that long. Probably because you are the type that seldom believes in anything.

“How about the townsfolk?” you say with interest. Aside from the previous remark of the number of hazards which sounded totally like a joke, a place like that does not sound too bad. Right?

“Tha folk are pretty friendly all around. You can pretty much get along with anypony and everypony respects you.”

“That sounds...perfect.”

“Eeyup.”

“Yeah.”

You two spend a bit of time talking and trading tales about the town you’re heading to. Occasionally, you scurry around the fork for some fuel for the ever dwindling campfire. Keeping it lit for the luxury of comfort and security. You enjoyed your amicable companion until that is you face this question:

“Tell me one thing tho, why leave Canterlot?”

“Uhmm...”

“It’s has to do with a mare ain't it?"

"W-What makes you say that?"

"Well, Ah didn't mean t'pry. But the way Ah figure, you left Canterlot because it looked like you didn't have any choice. And it looked to me that a mare gave you that choice."

“You can say that.”

"Hmmm."

"Uhh, what is it?"

"It’s not a mare but mares, ain't it?"

“Uhh…”

And with a strategic move that would make any field commander proud. You deploy a tactical yawn.

“Hahahahaha! Well, since your new to tha road might as well you get some shut eye. Ah know ah do after hauling them apples all day, heh” Big Mac says as he stood to fetch his beddings for the night. And you opted to do the same. Though, you caught the feeling that Big Mac saw right through that. He probably knows not to pry too much on the subject.

Who are you kidding, that was an obvious ploy.

“Hey do y’mind if ah called you Spice?”

“Umm, sure?”

“Just so you know, if y’want to settle in might as well make it first to the mayor’s office. So you can get a house straightened out as soon as you can.”

“Is that right.”

“Eeyup. Because you might never know if somethin’ might happen an’ you might end up homeless before you start.” The red stallion says before lying on his laid out cot. “In the town of Ponyville, you jus’ best accept whatever happens, especially the weird.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“Eeyup.”

And with that both of you settled for the night. You stay awake a bit to reflect on your first major dialog with other than the royals. And by what you can pick up from what Big Mac said about Ponyville, it might be the perfect place to lay low in the meantime.

And you still need to meet up with the Princess’ protégé.

‘What was her name again....does it have something to do with glitter......uhmm sparkly vampire....’ you think to yourself, your thoughts trailing off as the fatigue from the days travel wears you out. And before long the campfires and travelers all around settled in for the night. A handful or hooful stayed awake to keep watch or play some kind of instrument. What would make this ironic is if harmonicas exist in this world.

*Harmonica plays in the background*

‘heh! Well at least this guy plays good..........yawn’

Author's Note

Updated as of March, 2014.

Fixed the flow of a few part. Nothing serious.
Starting here, I will try my best to create and abuse the heck out of running gags!

Chapter 2 - My lips are sealed

Chapter 2 – My Lips are Sealed

The cool morning air feels refreshing, its breeze moving across the travelers’ campsite. It coaxes one out of their slumber like an alarm clock. It chills your body and yet wakes you gently. But alas, that is not the luxury nature has given you.

You awoke to the sound of nothing.

Absolutely nothing, but then again, you covered your head with your pillow last night. To drown out that blasted harmonica that nearly sent you over the edge. But in the middle of the night, you decided against murder. You can’t really blame the pony. By the loud sobs you hear every time he pauses to take a breath [and take a full hard swig of his...cider?]. The pony most likely has lost something dear to him like a family member or something.

‘At least the sound of that harmonica woke me from that accursed nightmare!’ You think to yourself as you try to shut out that dream as much as you can.
Long story short, what happened in that dream has you on edge. Whatever you dreamt about, you will never be able to see cucumbers the same way again.

“Mental note: Never accept an offer from a nerdy mare who has cucumbers”

“What’s that about cucumbers?”

“Aaah!”

You have been startled, congratulations. Now is the time to act like a fool by flailing your hooves in the air. Then comes the part where you return to Equestria. Your realization of this causes you to figure out your current situation. You are now covered in your bedroll and currently seeking refuge under your cart. You are now a beaming example for colts and stallions everywhere.

Achievement unlocked: An Easy Wuss.

“Tha way Ah see it, them ponies here won’t be remembering what ya did back there” Big Mac says while hitching himself to his cart, chuckling as he remembered you hiding under the cart turned into an impromptu skit.
It drove most travelers around camp to give you some bits, like a street performer looking for some tips. In total you received 43 bits, not bad.

“I think I’d rather die right now. This amount of embarrassment can kill a guy- I mean pony.”
Whoops! Nearly let that slip. That was a lousy save, a yellow card for you.

“Hmm?”

And now that there is some light out, you can clearly see the load the red stallion is hauling.

“Never mind...S-so Big Mac, what have you got there?”

“This? This here is tha crop Ah'm about to deliver to Canterlot. They pay a mighty hefty fee for these here tart apples.” He finishes with a grunt as he takes his first step onto the road.

“Huh, that seems to be quite the haul there. Are you sure you don’t have a partner to help you with these deliveries?” you ask as you clean up your camping kit.
Seeing as everyone else has settled down from watching your antics, you decided that it would be best to do what everypony is doing.

“Nnope!” giving what you picked up as his trademark reply.
Sensing that he might have a reason, you press him for it. You take a position opposite from him before speaking.

“Why not?”

“Well, it’s a matter of principle really. Ah need the exercise and a break from all tha farm work back home.” he then points to cart.
“In any case, ah just like going around. Seeing new sights and meetin’ new ponies like yerself. It helps expand how y’look at tha world.”

‘Deep. Real deep.’
That simple statement has left you speechless. Such insight for somepony like that is rare. Well, such insight for anyone you know is rare. Big Mac, noticing you staring blankly into nowhere, takes his queue.

“Welp, it looks like ah best be going now, Spice. It was a pleasure meeting ya!” He offers his hoof and you gesture to reply.

“You too”

“Oh and if ya ever need somethin ta eat with apples, Trot on down to tha town square an’ look for an orange mare with a blonde mane an’ three apples as her cutie mark. Tell ‘er that Big Mac send his regards!”

You give him a nod. On the road, now hitched to your cart, you both faced your destinations, mirrored to the other. Hearing his hooves clop against the dirt, you set off on your way to Ponyville and he to Canterlot.

‘I’ve never met anyone so polite. Then again, most humans I know are douchebags. It’s a fact, so don’t go denying it. I never got an answer out of him, but at least he lives near the town.’ It is either your luck, or the will of some great deity that has lead you to meet this pony.

It has been 4 hours or so of travelling. So far, you’ve figured that you’ve covered the equivalent distance of half a day. You then decided to take a break and refer to the map you have. Feeling a wee bit peckish, you opted for lunch as well.

“Now, what would be a good spot?” you say to yourself as you put aside your cart.
Pulling out your map and your canteen, you scout around for a place to settle down.

“How about that glade over there, by the tree stump? Nah.”
“The edge of the road would be nice. Sure, under the sun again.”
“Well, how about the hill over there? Wait, why am I talking to myself?”
“No, you’re not. Yes you are. You sure? Positive. So, I am not taking to myself.”
”Well, you are now.” You hear yourself say in a feminine voice. But then you realize that it was not your own.
As you were clearly talking to yourself, your body went ahead toward the hill. Upon arriving you hadn’t noticed that the hill is already occupied. There sat a white Pegasus mare with a long icy blue mane and a sun with a sparkly water droplet for a cutie mark. She’s eating her lunch, by the looks of it.

“Uhh...Hi there.” Yellow card number 2.

She took a bite of her sandwich, chewing slowly and thoughtfully. She eyed you the whole time before swallowing, measuring you with her deep purple eyes.

“Are you Spice Tea, by any chance?”

“Yes, that would be me. And you are?”

She smiles. Then she stuffs what’s left of her sandwich into her mouth and stands up. After swallowing, she then does something completely unexpected. From behind a rock she pulls out a set of armor, donning it and tossing a salute in your direction.

“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna send their regards. My name is Morning Dew, from her majesties air courier division. I am here to deliver a parcel that her majesties forgot to give you the day before.”

“I see…” you nonchalantly reply.
Holding out your hoof, she pulls out the parcel from behind the tree.

“Uhm...what is this?”
You eye the parcel. It is a small cardboard box wrapped in twine, with a royal seal on the top. There also seems to be a letter attached to said parcel. You take it out and started reading the lovely cursive on it.

‘Dear Spice Tea,
I hope this finds you well. We are so terribly sorry for forgetting this crucial part of your transformation. Since you chose a unicorn as your base form, in this parcel is a crystal ball and an amulet. The ball is to unlock the magic of your unicorn half, whilst the amulet we have enchanted for another purpose. The amulet when worn will ask you if you want to change forms. Using the amulet will be self explanatory, as it will speak only to you. And as a little bonus I snuck ‘Alicorn’ as a choice as well. So that means you have 4 choices.
And if you ever get lonely, the crystal ball acts as a medium for communication. So if you ever want to talk, or just have this URGENT desire to have some heated verbal discussions, and when I say heated, I mean that since the ball also shows images, we could—’

“O-okay....” you say to yourself.

You then notice the letter cut from here. The rest of the letter seems to have been written by another hoof, a refined, yet constrained cursive, but elegant nonetheless. You continued reading the bizarre letter.

‘-Yes, well if you do wish to communicate with either of us, I have placed a note by the crystal ball. Written on it are the times that we are respectively available. Do note that there is an inscription on the ball per se. When cast will activate the ball and you can speak as you please. Do note proper decorum when using this around others but in any personal space you may speak freely.
In any event, I hope this note and parcel reaches you before you arrive at Ponyville.
The Royal Princesses Celestia and Luna’

‘Immortality gets one to do crazy things. Well, at least these will help.’
With that, you store your letter and parcel in your cart. But while you were reading, Morning Dew decided to go investigate the contents of your cart. She rummaged on with care and consideration, as it was your belongings, not hers. She was about to end her search, till she found a familiar locket.

“Lookie here, a locket! I wonder who the lucky mare is?” she says with a curious glee as she wiggled her eyebrows towards you. That is, until she opened it.

“Oh my...I mean...I’ve heard of some stallions but...both of them?!...I-I’m sorry sir!” she panics, with a mad blush apparent on her white coat. She stares at you with wide eyes.

“D-Don’t worry sir, your secret is safe with me. I do hope the lineage will continue....” she ends with a salute and carefully replaces it back into your cart.

“N-NO! I-I mean, it is not what it looks like. Please, you’ve got it all wrong...whatever that you think I did!”

“It is alright, sir. You have taken the burden of being the royal plaything. My lips are sealed” She said with her eyes closed, but the blush still there.

“The what now?!”

She then opens her eyes and watches you intently. It seems that she jumped onto a conclusion. But then again, that did not put you in ease. For a member of the guard hearing about such rumors, that means there might be some reason to be paranoid, after all they ARE goddesses.

“I’m sorry...it is just that many of the guard have requested relocation. Some even handed their resignation.”

“It’s alright I suppose. I mean working with two immortal beings, would have these certain rumors flying around, right?” you jokingly say, keeping the conversation light.

“I recently heard that...several mares from the Night guard disappearing right after the Royal court switch over...they appeared in the morning covered in sweat.” She grimaces.

“I’m sure that it’s not that bad-“

“Some of her highness’ Luna’s personal hoofmaidens have been found tied to a bed, in the guest wing of the palace, the morning after...”

“Really, I think-“

“...Then there were the cucumbers... poor lad, he was recently promoted...he couldn’t sit for a week...”

“...uhhh”

“... I’m sure that it’s nothing. Sorry to give you discomfort of any sort.” She says, her hoof pawing at the dirt, her head slightly turned down.

Quick! Do something! A stallion would not let any mare feel bad. Just do anything, as long as it’s not overly embarrassing. You have decided.

You hug her.

This action has immediate results, in a good way at least. Morning Dew seems to have calmed down. Her breathing became shallow and she seems to have stopped fidgeting. But now her face resembles that of a tomato. Alas the hug has prevented you from noticing this.

“There....you feeling okay?”

“...Y-Yes! I-I’m sorry but it s-seems I need to go....duty calls” she says with a stutter as she clumsily escapes from your hug. You take this as your cue and release her.

“...”
She stares at you silently

“It seems I got a little carried away...”

“...”

‘I think I broke her’ found suspicion of mentally breaking the mare, maybe.

“...I heard from her majesties that you are heading towards Ponyville. I-If by any chance you need some assistance...I mean I live there and...and I....aahhhh.” And there you have it, ladies and gentlecolts. Spice Tea has broken a mare.
Not really. The flustered white pegasi immediately took to the air, only returning to say something.

“You’re cute!”

The she left. Leaving you to think what has went on since yesterday. This led you to believe that some higher power is indeed pulling the strings. Like one of those authors who write in the 2nd person. Guiding you, into scenarios that test your sanity and integrity-

“Don’t be ridiculous. That would never happen to me. But then again, I ended up in Equestria”
You say to yourself, staring up at the direction where Morning Dew flew off to. You shrug it off as you decided that what is done is done. You now take this moment to enjoy your respite from all these hijinks. Laying your lunch and the map you have in front of you.

‘Half a day’s journey more and I’m still not there yet....Should I say it?’ you sigh. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

[Author's Note: Nothing much to say, but my proofreader did [Inkdrop] : Dat Ending]

Chapter 3 - You and your big mouth

Chapter 3 – You and your big mouth [1/3]

“Me and my big mouth”

You find yourself in quite a pickle. It is such a lovely cliché, is it not?

It all started a kilometer or so before you reached the towns’ outskirts that you noticed the clouds getting darker. In which logic dictates it will rain. So with sound reasoning you halt and check your cart for anything that would ‘rainproof’ you. Alas to no surprise your cart did not contain anything of the sort. Unless you would chose to have the bedroll protect you from the rain. And yet again logic dictates. If by any chance you don’t make it to Ponyville before nightfall, you would have to sleep in a soggy bedroll. And in essence would give you a rather uncomfortable night.

And so, your human male instinct suggests to your tan pony body.

‘I’ll just wing it’

And ladies and gentlecolts that is how a cabbage is eaten. Oh wait, that was how you ended up in this pickle. Which is generally a cucumber and you hate cucumbers, for now at least. Or until somepony or otherwise resets your view about those green watery gourds, of perverted EVIL! Anyways, back to the story.

You now find yourself walking up a hill. A very muddy hill, in which in its defense is neither steep nor slippery but a hill nonetheless. Its incline giving you a great view of the darkened grey skies as you work your way up. A couple of minutes ago you decided that rain is harmless. Some animals back on earth have no shelter to protect them. So at the very least you pray ponies here have the same natural tolerances of animals back home. It is also a good thing that the cart has a heavy wool tarpaulin on it. In which saves you the agony of trying to dry out most of your belongings. You would not want to have your documents wet now would you?

But then, you remembered that Princess Luna asked to have you equipped with a poncho. So stopping for a bit under the shade of a tree, you rummage through the cart in search of that poncho.

‘But why does rain have to be so darn cold. Why couldn’t the rain here we warm?’ well it’s just a thought. A new world should mean new things, right? Nope, the laws of physics love to screw with a lot of things no matter what the species or in whatever dimension. ‘Well warm rain could mean that it’s not water...eww’

After a while you find the poncho. You take it up with your hooves and notice something peculiar about it. The drops of rainwater from your mane fell to the poncho and the water instantaneously evaporated. You shrugged and put the poncho on. Noticing that it is quite comfortable fit, it then eerily dried your coat and mane the moment it covered your body. Failing to be bothered by the magical poncho, your thoughts crept back onto the topic at hoof.

‘But then again, if I were a pegasi in mid-flight. It would be logical to make it to the ground. But how about their foals….where would they do their business….hmmm…clouds….’

‘Cloud toilets?’ curious.

As you ponder the mechanics of how do detect pee in warm rain. The hill you just climbed shed some good news. Further ahead in the dreary rain and the muted landscape is salvation. In there lies a town sleeping in the rain. Surrounded by forest and farmland its charm feels welcoming. Many a thatched roof as well as tree houses make up the town….and a giant confectionary!?

‘Ponyville’

With this, your vigor inside is renewed, if only just so. You lay your eyes on the road ahead. It seems that you have a few more hills and the rest of the day to make it. And so with a little self coaxing and reminders of warm rain, you started to move again. A little smirk plastered upon your face as you trotted towards your goal.

‘Thank the heavens! That is the greatest sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on.’ Indeed. Barely three days in Equestria and two days transformed. One would certainly suffer from withdrawals.

‘And the first thing I’ll when I get there…get a donut…with sprinkles…’ a simple pastry with resemblance of human food.

‘no…A really HUGE donut with sprinkles!’ never mind simple as long as it fills you, but how will a donut bigger than you imagine fit into your mouth, huh?

‘And then some pie, oh and some fries, a tall glass of…what do they call it here…oh yeah, a tall glass of sarsaparilla. What else...Screw it.’ You don’t bother thinking about it. Right now you just want to arrive at Ponyville. Remember, priorities first.

After that third hill, you start to wonder. This entire time seemed to easy. Easy that it was barely a challenge aside from the rain. Looking back to what you have seen on the hill.

‘There are four hills, a small cut path through a glade…a bridge and then its town square…’ simple.

Upon realization of the present, nothing actually happened to you, since it started raining. It is just you and a couple of raindrops and trees. The realization is not much of an eye opener but since you have this hunch that your life is being controlled. It would be wise to be on guard.

‘MADE IT!’ you rejoice as you stand now in Ponyville’s town square.

‘I am sure thou will enjoy Ponyville. The town’s denizens make for great company and are very welcoming’ Luna mentioned as you hitched yourself to your cart two days ago.

“Not the welcoming I had in mind” you say noticing the lack of ponies.

‘But then again I am not a celebrity and I should be laying low’

The combination of rain and a town devoid of life makes for a great depressant. It did not falter your spirit though. Taking it up in stride you venture forth into the town. As the moon princess mentioned before anything else, you should head towards town hall to notify of your arrival.

“So that is what I’ll do” yup

“Where is the town hall…?” So, come here often?

So initially, you have been tasked to go to the town hall. But you don’t exactly know where it is, great job! So you take it upon yourself to spend a few more moments in the rain exploring the town. You could refer to your map, sure. But the map is only for plotting destinations. It does not contain the towns’ landmarks or streets. So unsure on how you will proceed, you decide upon going around the town in a circle. It might make for wasting a lot of time but at least it would get you closer to your goal.

As you trotted, you noticed several ponies looking out from the windows of their homes. You spot a house with three flower stands in front of it. And you see three mares looking through one of the houses’ windows. As you turned your head towards it, the ponies behind it suddenly moves out of sight. It is like they are watching you and at the same time scared of you.

“Weird” you mutter before meeting head first into a pole.

*Tonk* 2 points “Ouch!”

You rub your head as you glared at the pole that caused you minor discomfort. Looking from the base to its top, you then noticed it is a street sign. With several signs that point towards certain town landmarks. It also had a sign pointing to the general direction of Town Hall.

‘Painful way to discover things…mental note: no pain good, in pain bad.’ It is an obvious yet important note to remember. But you are glad that you found something significant that would help you out.

With that out of the way, you take note of the direction and trotted up along it. Looking straight up the street, your head help up high due to the ponchos hood covering up your face. You take notice around you. Some of the houses still have the same weird scene. Cautious inhabitant looks out of window then ducks when you look towards their direction. It seems that what Big Macintosh joked about some of the dangers might hold some water.

‘What could traumatize a town like this?’ noticing some debris alongside the street.

As you ponder the multiple scenarios of mass mayhem and chaos, you happen to pass by a few empty houses. And by some freak chance the rain slowed and the wind picked up. Might be a sign of something to come but then again there’s still coincidence. And as coincidence has it, a flyer is picked up by the wind and smacks you in the face. Annoyed you stop peel it off and read it.

‘Notice:
Citizens of Ponyville, due to the recent Cerberus attack. The mauled area of the northwest neighborhood has completed its repairs. Residents who are misplaced may return to their homes. And as an added bonus from the Canterlot Hazard, Housing and Development office, residents that have lost their belongings may file for insurance to replace those that they have lost at the Town Hall inquiry desk.

Another note: Since the Parasprite attack, town planners noticed lot discrepancies after the repair from the previous year. So housing in the north, east and south-east side of the town have spares. Couples who wish to start a family may purchase these empty houses. You can have them empty or fully refurbished at your discretion with discount. Think of this as a gift from Town Hall. I hope to entertain some of your questions if any troubles arise or worries about the housing. And remember; first come first serve basis as usual. We do not want to have another one of those incidents with a panicked doctor caring for those ponies involved in last autumn’s brawl.

Lastly, due to last night’s festivities, the weather team forgot of this morning’s shower. Therefore residents should note of this afternoons shower. It will be heavier than usual to compensate for this morning’s mix up. And to be extra safe, I declare from noon till the morn of the next day to be a holiday. That is to prevent our local merchants from standing all afternoon in the rain. I hate to see our favorite stalls closed the very next day. And that goes to small and medium businesses as well, we do not want our customers falling sick now do we?

Stay safe and stay happy everypony,
Mayor Mare’

The letter ends with the Mayor’s seal placed at the lower right of the flyer.

‘That explains a lot. But at least this tells me are some empty houses for me to take up on. I hope the princesses’ gave me enough bits.’

And with that, you head straight till you see a tall three story loom up ahead. Even better, the rain has finally let up. Although the clouds are somewhat dark, you drop the hood of your poncho, gaining a better look at the building up ahead.

“That must be it” you say to yourself as you stop in front of its façade.

Staring intently, you take your time to admire the building. This world sure loves to give their buildings looking very much formal. Town hall looks to be five stories high and has flags on the fourth floor balcony. The higher floors and its porch seem to have undergone some repair. There is evidence of a new paint job. And a wooden patch on the porch floor that looks to have newer wood than the ones around it. They also seem to have missed a couple of…

‘…Scorch marks?’

No matter. You bring up your cart next to the buildings steps, right below one of its generous overhangs. To prevent your cart from getting drenched if the rain picked up again. So after hitching out of the cart, taking the envelope with your important papers, and placing your poncho under the tarp. You proceed into the building.

Chapter 4 – Anything will do

Chapter 4 – Anything will do [2\3]

You find yourself in a well designed lobby, a spacious yet cozy with a high ceiling. The design suited for day to day affairs with one’s own government.

The smell in the air suggests of old oak. The smell also accounts for the polished wooden desks around, that are probably made of oak. Most pieces of furniture in the building including the floorboards seem to be made from the stuff. The rest were tabletops, some benches far to the side and what appears to be a vending machine in the far corner of the lobby. The vending machine having a picture of some mare on its front, holding some kind of bottle, looks to be a bottle of apple juice.

The rest of the lobby is what you expect from any government building. The walls are painted in a faded eggshell color. Some areas decorated with some old painting or some overhanging plants, to prevent monotony. The halls’ layout optimized for easy access around the building. With its wide hallways and double doors, the building looks to be designed for public functions and the sort. That also explains the big double doors at the back door of the lobby. Maybe it’s a court of law or a multipurpose hall perhaps?

With that you made your way to the booth in the middle of it all. The booth seated between two winding staircases that probably leads to the second floor.

You see an auburn maned earth pony with an eggshell white coat. Wearing a pair of glasses, she is dutifully writing away in a ledger. Seems to be doing some accounting or some sort, best not disturb her. Alas without notifying her of your presence, you cannot continue. But in good conscience she noticed your arrival beforehoof.

“This will only take a moment…”

“…” you stare at her. Truly she is writing in a ledger. She finishes a line and places her feathered pen near an ink pot. She takes a moment to remove her glasses and then looks at you. She stares at you for just a brief moment before a small smile forms on her face.

“Welcome to Ponyville hall. I am Desk Penny. How may I be of assistance?” she says with practiced precision.

“Umm yes…I believe the mayor is expecting a unicorn named Spiced Tea from Canterlot. Could you notify her that I have arrived?”

"..."

‘Something’s not right’

“…mm-hmm.” She replies as she just stares at you with half-lidded, bright green eyes. She then realizes that she just took a good long minute staring at you. She then takes out an appointment long, tracing her hoof slowly, looking for your name. She finds your name, encircled with red ink and a note that you briefly caught: PRIORITY.

Now your heads starts ring with warning signals. I think this is what many call the ‘Sense of Self preservation’. And of this moment, you are currently in front of this mare who is looking funnily at you.

‘Oh shi-‘

“Wait here…for a moment. She will be with you shortly” she says curtly still with those eyes and a blush growing on her face.

‘WHAT IS WITH ME AND MARES?’ Thinking that Celestia might have done something, you pray. Hard.

“Don’t wait long…cutie” she finishes with a wink.

'facehoof...OW" the facehoof attempt seems harder than it looked like. Especially when you're used to slap your face with a hand in full force, to emphasize irony of course. With a hoof, the emphasis makes for a painful face.

She turns back and up a flight of stairs leading to the second floor offices. It is her duty to report of an appointment arrival. But that does not mean she won’t have a little fun. So in preparing to leave for the second floor, Desk Penny slowly stood from her desk and turned around in a manner similar to unwrapping candy. Then with another wink she turns to the stairs and begins to trot. Her rump swinging sideways as she went giving you the impression:

‘Hey! Look at my rump. Don’t you just want it?’

With her out of sight, you take a moment to let your heart settle. You go about the lobby as you locate some mind bleach. Going from one end of the room to the other, you make it a point to investigate around more, clearly to distract your thoughts.

So you first approach the double doors at the back of the room, right under the dual staircase leading to the second floor. You push the doors and inside reveals a grand looking ballroom. Complete with polished floors, ceiling high windows, and the ceiling even looks to reach the third floor. A couple of banners that show the sun and the moon hang from the rafters. It appears there was a recent festivity here. But decided there was nothing more to investigate. You head on out and close the doors behind you.

Feeling parched, you head to the vending machine you saw earlier. So taking a few steps from the ballroom doors, you started thinking what to purchase.

‘Anything will do…’ you thought as you approached.

Now that you’re closer to the machine, it is actually a twin vendor. One half has a picture of a pegasi mare in a swimsuit holding apple juice. And the other half has a unicorn mare in a librarian outfit, drinking tea. It is now obvious that you have a choice of something hot or something cold. Since you traveled far and in the rain no less you decided on your namesake, a nice hot cup of spiced milk tea. Black tea with two part brown sugar steeped with mint, clover, cinnamon, and cardamom. What a nice hot cup of good stuff. The machine started up, dispensing a disposable paper cup designed to be held by hoof.

*huff*

‘Huh?’

You wandered about technology existing here in Equestria. You thought of this world to be barren of technology. And seeing is you met with Princess Celestia and Luna. The palace seemed devoid of any gadget whatsoever. But seeing this vending machine here, you remembered an interesting point given by Princess Celestia.

*huff*

‘Seriously, what is that sound?’
‘Most machinations and tools here source themselves with magic. Most are imbued with specific properties. So don’t get discouraged or scared if you can’t seem to work one of our machines. You will get the hand of them, in due time. So you could imagine all the fun toys I hav-‘ at that moment Celestia received a left hook from Luna.

*huff*

As you wait for the dispensed cup to fill. You suddenly feel a chill as a hoof ran up your back then slinging itself around your neck.

“Been waiting long?” you hear a voice, a low and sensual voice. And no doubt that it is attached to that arm.

“Uhm…” slowly, you turn your head to face the owner of the voice.

“The mayor will see you now…” Desk Penny said with a huff, looking you straight in the eye. Biting her lip she let go of you.

“Uhm…Desk Penny…I think I would not let the Mayor wait. Could we stop this for the time being?” You say with a squeak at the end. With certain fear you back up a bit and take your cup of tea. That fear being the mare in front of you might ravage you, if she has a chance. And she does.

“She said to take your time. She is currently finishing up some papers and that she wouldn’t want to meet people with a messy desk…And that gives us plenty of time…” her eyebrows a wiggling.

*ding* that was the sound of the vending machine.

“That is sweet of you, making a mare a cup of tea.” Uh-oh.

So in a quick twist of fate the machine started to make another cup of spiced milk tea. You take notice of this. So you offer the cup to Desk Penny thinking it might buy you some time.

“uhh…Here you go”

She just smiles in response, taking the cup from your hooves. She takes a sip before commenting.

“hmmm….This hits the spot. Don’t you know that nopony showed up today….”

‘I don’t like where this is going’

“…many of the folk had stayed in today and most shops are closed…”

‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…’

“…so it is mighty boring till you showed up…”

‘Please oh please don’t tell me!’

“…I just wanted to say…”

“…thank you…”

*ding*

‘Fff-what…?’ another cup of tea is ready.

“…f-for the company I mean” She finishes with a blush and a sip from her tea.

‘…’ speechless, you are now speechless. Quickly! Say something before giving yourself yellow card number three.

“You’re welcome Desk Penny.”

“Just call me Penny” she looks up to you then smiles, a very cute one at that too.

“I recently arrived from Canterlot and I was tasked to see the Mayor.” you say rubbing a hoof to your head, embarrassed that you jumped a conclusion. Now give yourself a yellow card for sloppy topic change. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

"..."

She fumbles with her cup a bit, still staring at you. Realizing that you have caused her an awkward silence, you needed to remedy that.

“So I did not realize things could get boring here.”

“Actually it never does get boring.”

“huh?” With that you are now confident that you averted the crisis.

‘But she still has those bedroom eyes. So be on your guard.’

“The ponies here take days just like this as rest days. Ponyville is actually exciting. Once you get to know the town that is. Usually the town is as quiet as it can be. But ever since a few seasons past, we hosted the Summer Sun Celebration.” she ends her sentence as she drains the cup to the last drop. "A wonderful unicorn came and everything changed for the better. The town getting recognized as a tourist destination, being the agricultural center of the region and being the first town that settled right next to the Everfree. The recognition goes on and on afters that." still holding her cup, she tries to slosh whatever residue is left. Desk Penny clearly trying to arrange her thoughts.

"That sounds like a wonderful thing to happen"

"It is. The town used to be ignored or is just a stopover for some travelers. But now every time you walk on those streets, you'll know that something might happen today. Like food poisoning or a visit from the Diearchy. Who knows..."

Desk Penny then trashes her cup and looks straight to you. This time, she managed to close the distance between you. She is now a breaths distance from you. Her breathing becoming heated, fast and shallow. The smell from her emanates the scent of vanilla and oranges. You started to blush heavily. She then stretches her right arm. And thinking that she might do something, your face goes into overdrive code red.

Desk Penny then smirks at you. She retracts her arm and hands over your cup.

“Oh…” still fuming, that is all you can say.

“As you’ve said, you better not keep the mayor waiting.” Desk Penny says with a wink and starts to walk away from you, her hips still swaying. Most likely she is heading back to her front desk.

“Oh and why don’t you bring her a cup of that delicious tea? I swear that she has not tried that one before”

Now that the awkward moment you had with Desk Penny is now over. You now climbed up the stairs to meet with the mayor. Two cups balancing on your back.

‘How I can climb the stairs and balance these cups, I will never know’ and it should stay that way.

So you make it a few flights before noticing ornately decorated door with a plaque. It says ‘Mayor Mare’ so it must be the right room. Confident you walk up to the door. But not before giving yourself a double check before knocking. Papers on hoof, tea on back, and such luck that fits a romantic comedy, yup you’re all set.

*Knock knock*

“Come in...” a somewhat melodic way of saying it but what the hay.

You enter with a semblance of confidence. Well barely due to the previous awkward encounter with the secretary. And seeing that no one is lucky thrice, you pray that this meeting with the mayor would not end up like any other. Having the mare you’re taking to go head over hooves on you. Barely three days old, here already the ladies man.

As you enter, a grey maned tan coated earth pony is sitting by the desk. Looking to have done her paperwork, she placed neatly aside her desk. She stood up to greet you, a caring smile on her face. So at first glance, this meeting won’t be so bad after all.

“Good afternoon and welcome to Ponyville. I’m Mayor Mare and I, well am the mayor.” Now with a toothy grin. It is rather disarming.

“Hello, I am Spiced Tea. I believe that her majesties have notified of my arrival?"

“Yes, her majesties informed of your arrival.”

Chapter 5 – Talking to a mirror

Chapter 5 – Talking to a mirror

Chapter 5 – Talking to a mirror [3/3]

“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna spoke highly of you in their letter. But they mentioned that you were only coming here on an important errand. So…To what do I owe the pleasure of your company today, Spiced Tea?” Mayor Mare said in earnest.

It is a good thing you took that break on that hill. This left you some time to read on your character sheet and memorize your citizenship papers. And eat some lunch. So now all you need to do is become your persona, Spiced Tea.

“W-Well, I recently came back from my trip around Equestria. Since I was on a mission to catalogue and resource different plants and herbs used for medicine and magic, I decided to settle down with the princess permissions of course,” you say with feign confidence. Remembering that you have a spare cup of tea you offer it to her.

“A trip you say but settling down?” she says with a smile as she takes the cup. Mayor Mare takes a sip as she listens to your reply.

“Yes…Being a high mage from the university is hard. But seeing is that I have roamed around and about. I think I have seen too much for my age. So early retirement would be a good thing”

“I see. But let me guess, she recommended us because of the proximal nature of our town to the Everfree and Whitetail, am I right?”

“Mmm-hmm…Even though I am settling down does not mean I should not work for a living.” And with this you gave Mayor Mare your citizenship documents and another paper from your envelope. A written and possibly falsified by trolls truly certificate of sigilis princeps magus, a symbol of a High Mage.

“Tell me something about your trip, what made you go on your journey?”

“It was more of a finishing study piece before graduation really. But since I journeyed for 7 years, by tge time I arrived last week at the university. I was immediately given my title.”

After briefly skimming your papers she asks “Why is that?”

“Well, I am the first unicorn to have successfully returned after their study piece. The only one since Starswirl the Bearded”

I would like to thank my crazy professors in college for giving me the ability of cramming. Twenty pages, pff, piece of cake.

“I see. Well your papers seem to be in order. So let me ask you, do you have any lodgings for the night? I could arrange for you a room at the Farrier’s Inn”

“No need Mayor. I was thinking of asking you about the spare housing that is available. I would like to buy a house tonight, if that is okay with you?”

With a shrug and a confirmation “Why not, it is a slow day today. And I was thinking of heading home early today, but I couldn’t stay away from my desk. Here, let me get my housing ledger and you go stand by that map”

With a nod you do as she says and turn around.

You then notice the map that you have taken into account when you entered. This map is huge. Noticing the shape of the town, it resembles an almost circular pattern. And by the looks of how the town is structured, you take note of the town’s districts: Merchant housing, Town Square, Trade district, Town Park, Ponyville Fount Square, Bazaar, Several residential quarters, other smaller districts, and this piece of land labeled Sweet Apple Acres.

‘That is a lot of land’ you say when you happen across the scale measurements at the lower right corner of the map. These measurements speak of huge, REAL huge.

The Mayor takes to your side, ledger in mouth, putting it down on the table in front. “Here we are”

“So Spiced Tea…Do you mind if I call you Spice?”

“Go ahead Mayor”

She nods “Alright then, Spice, from the map here where do you want to settle down?”

“That’s a tricky one. Hmm…What do you suggest Mayor?”

“Well since you’ve asked. I’d say settling here” pointing to the west of town hall, near the Trade District.

“This area provides the best access to most of the establishments around the trade district and the bazaar.”

Trying to see whether or not the place is quiet for your tastes “Is it quiet in that neighborhood?”

“Somewhat. But if you prefer a bit more privacy, the housing to north from the trade district, right around the Fount square would be right for you” she mentions this as her hoof glides up. Pointing to what looks like a very spacious neighborhood.

And without second thought “That looks perfect”

“Would you like to visit the neighborhood? If you think it would be perfect for you…?”

“I think the area is nice for my standards. And if you say I could get some privacy there then by all means.”

“Alright then, let us see if there are houses that could catch your interests, hmm?”

Heading out to your new neighborhood, you find yourself enjoying the town a little more. Now that you have a guide of course, who being Mayor Mare. So before anything else, you both need to get out of the building. That means getting past Desk Penny, who happens to be talking into a mirror. Easier said than done right?

It was. Basically she was just giving a go at her speech training. And speech is pretty important to all Equestrian government employees; who are in contact with the general public every day of the week. You were about to drop it till you hear Desk Penny say something near the lines of:

“If you don’t have anything to do tonight, would you want to go out to dinner?” to “So if you have the time, why don’t we step out back and let you ravage me”

In hearing these lines, you could have sworn that Desk Penny was looking at your ass. Just as you and the Mayor were about to step out. Alas her daydreaming has come to a halt when the Mayor spoke up.

“Penny it looks like we will have to close early for the day. And seeing is that we are the only ones left here. I will put you in charge of closing down the hall.”

“Will do Mayor” Desk Penny replied with gusto knowing that it is closing time.

“Good. Now I will bring Spiced Tea along to his new house, so please don’t stay here too late?” the sudden change in Desk Penny’s face reveals all.

“…o-kay” her reply saddened by the realization that her boss just stole her fun for the night. So to salvage any pride she had left, she mouthed you a:

‘Call me’

You reply with a curt nod. Acknowledging at least the now saddened mare, the reply was the least you could do. But not saying you might take her up on the offer, aside from calling upon her public duties that is. But at least you have placed a little smile on her face, which is enough for a green card.

As it is your wish to move on; you make it through the door. Finding that outside is still as dreary as you left it. Not minding the total lack of emotion in the sky, you find Mayor Mare waiting at the foot of the stairs, looking towards the sky. She too has noticed the grey veil of woe and is pondering about it deeply. So you take this chance to hitch yourself to your cart, placing your documents in as you go. And as sure as you are safely secured, grab the attention of Mayor Mare. Signaling her that you are all set, you both depart in search of your new house.

Not much life is seen around town as both of you walked on. So thinking up some small talk to pass the time, Mayor Mare decided to ask about you.

“Like how you got to be enrolled into the University?”

“How were you able to get through your long research journey?”

“Were you able to meet interesting Ponies?”

Or things like

“how you got to know Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?”

“Are you a Duke or Count? What is it like to be part of her majesties inner circle?”

Mayor Mare found it odd that they spoke about you in the personal sense in their letters. Not many have the privilege to be addressed as such. You, by simple sticking to the character sheet, have given the appropriate answers. It seemed that this interview accomplished two things: Get the head of the town to accept your identity and pass the time to make it to your new neighborhood.

So by the time Mayor Mare has run out of questions and you run out of answers, you arrived at your destination. Looking over to your left, you see a small fountain with a few benches around it. It seems to be normal. And over to your right, you notice many houses with the ‘for sale sign’

“Here we are, the Fount District. Known for that very important fountain…”

You both slow down before the said fountain. Staring at its current still waters, you make a shape out of a reflection you see. Well, you see three shapes for that matter. One is a blurry pink fluff that was quick enough to escape your glance. The second one faired even better than the first. Its speed is paramount to the color of the shape. Its color of white, cyan, pink and pastel green before it disappeared from your sight. The last shape would be…you.

‘Tan coat, green pupils and orange mane and tail. Still looking good there….for a pony’

Reeling back into reality after a brief encounter with water squiggles, you find that Mayor Mare went into a monologue. You might have caught a few bits of that. But all you could get out of it was that this very fountain was said to be the very place. Where princess Celestia bathed and the founding father of the town peeked on her. You look closely to the fount again. This time you shudder at the thought of the second squiggly.

‘It can’t be, could?’

“…To think, what would have Princess Celestia done if all this time she knew of his presence?”

Raising your head to reply “What would have she done?”

“I have been looking into that myself. And it turns out nopony knows except her, princess Luna and Starswirl the Bearded”

Both of you take notice the sky take on an amber hue. The clouds part revealing vivid pastel hues and deep purples beneath them. The moment when sun and moon share their presence together, the moment twilight reins.

“Seems it's already dusk. Let us hurry along then, Spice?”

“Yes Mayor”

Seeing is there is barely anypony here besides you and the mayor. You decided to leave your cart next to the fount; which is pretty much the center of this neighborhood and in line of sight. Confident now of your stuff, Mayor Mare led you to the first row of houses. Most of them are single unit types. But the predominant ones would be the two story duplexes. They somewhat look kind of thin, which gives you the feeling of tight living quarters. But if the prices are not that swell, then a duplex might be your last and most obvious choice. Then you were proven wrong when Mayor Mare showed you one pre-furnished duplex. Looks can truly be deceiving.

It took you both a quick 15 minutes to pass most of the empty houses. And walking back, a U-turn gave you the option to look back at the selection from the fountain. Within that span of time, you recall a two story house.

“Mayor, I remember seeing a two story house back there. The one with the wide windows overlooking the bazaar and fount” you point your hoof in the general direction where the house is. Not knowing where it really is as you are not familiar with the street names.

Mayor Mare looks through her ledger, finding out if such a house exists. “Yes, there is a two story house that fits that description. Many wanted that house but soon moved out due to the size of the windows.”

She points out the house written on her ledger. Looking through the description, there have been many attempts to claim the house. But many were unsuccessful due to the red inked comment on the paper.

“Those windows seem to catch the sun and moon rising. Many of the newlyweds that claim the house seem to move out after a week. They say that they can’t find curtains or blinds big enough for the size of those windows.”

“But I don’t see why that is a bad thing.”

Closing her book, she thinks well for a reply “Yes, well if you are a newlywed and would want to spend the night doing ‘happy happy fun time’ with your wife. Then would not those blinds help with privacy. But I agree with you entirely though.”

Nodding “If it’s the same to you mayor, let us see the house. I want to find out what is so odd about it.”

You decide that this is the best course of action; the finality of your choice house in your mind. You hitch yourself to your cart yet again and walk with Mayor Mare to the latter mentioned destination. You were about to say something till a brief line killed your brain.

“Sure…I am also intrigued by this. But it also sounds like you just want to get me alone…”

“Ahmm….uhhh” Mayor one. Spiced Tea zero.

“Hahaha…I am just kidding. Come on, let us get you that house” She chides with a light jab to your shoulder.

‘Seriously, these mares will be the death of me one of these days. And I would not even reach Earth to tell the tale’ sure Spiced Tea tell yourself that.

The truth may be closer than you think-Moving on.

“But it is good to see you survive Desk Penny back there”

“Well I-Wait, what do you mean by survived?” you are taken aback by that statement. ‘Survived?!’

“Well, she has undergone a recent heartbreak.”

“What happened to her Mayor?”

“Her very first coltfriend ended up cheating on her…with a bucket”

“…”

“Don’t ask. As a general rule here in Ponyville, if it’s weird and has no logical reason. We tend to accept it and move on.”

“I’ll keep that in mind”

“Mm-hm”

“So basically, I was the rebound.”

“Mm-hm”

“That explains a lot”

You continue with your inquiry about Desk Penny for a good minute or too. The Mayor also gave some advice about living here. Any advice about living is indeed welcome as you are indeed alien to this world. Sometime later after seeing through a twist and a turn, you happen to see your house. Observing it closely gave you a sense of accomplishment. It seems as though that this house is built for you specifically. Although the paint looks a tad bit drab, it is perfect.

Satisfied with the front, you decided to take a look round back. And to your surprise the back door has a very generous overhang. And by the looks of the overhang leading directly into a back road, makes this part of your house the garage.

Mayor Mare noticed the grin on your face and is sure how you will respond to this “How do you find the house so far?”

“It’s perfect! It has this garage and everything.” Extremely giddy are we. “I can’t wait to see what’s inside” you try to say, but instead you decided to run up to the front door, Mayor Mare trotting right behind you.

“So, shall we take a peek then” you ask the Mayor while you open the door for her.

“We shall. But don’t think that opening the door for me will get me into the mood. You need to take me out to dinner first” grinning madly as she walked in. She passes you as you hear her giggle at your stoic indifference of her statement. Your face showing signs of being flustered.

‘Mayor two, Me zero’

“Hey now, I am just kidding.” still giggling, she prods your side to see whether she broke you or not.

“Mayor please, we have only just met”

“Hahahaha! Sorry about that, I could not resist. And besides you are a little young for my tastes. But I could always make an exception. I am the mayor after all.” she says with pride. Proud for the fact that she is out of your league. What a familiar tactic. Although she is willing to make an except, just for you. How lucky are you to be alive in this world, huh?

Moving on, you close the door and continue inside. You’re surprised to find that the house is mostly furnished. Just need a few more bits here and there but it’s perfect. Moving around and investigating the first floor rooms, you happen across a flight of stairs.

‘Leading to the second floor no doubt’ you say as you approach it. Looking up you find remnants of sunlight illuminating the steps. It looks as if it’s an illusion. The picture of ascending into the heavens, a welcome yet obvious cliché, but still is worth looking at.

But before you alert the Mayor of the stairs. You ponder, choosing your words carefully. You would not want her to think you walked right into one of her jokes. So having thought a good minute you proceed.

“Mayor, I think I found the problem”

“Hmm?”

Seeing her exit from the kitchen, you took the lead and went up the second floor. What you saw when you reached the second floor took your breath away. The entirety of the second floor is made up of four rooms, which two had wide windows. Some of them equipped with town standard wooden shutter. But the rest were so big that it indeed gave you a painted view of the twilight. You stood there quote a while, looking at the beauty of this world. Not minding at all the approaching mare behind you.

But in some odd twist of fate. You came to your decision.

“Mayor, I would like to buy this house if that is alright with you.”

She moved towards you, stopping by your side. She too is looking through the window. Smiling that the town she lived and worked in is still as magnificent as she knows it to be.

“I’m glad that you’re happy about this house. So, will you be the first one to stay in this house for good?

“I might take you up on that challenge Mayor”

“Well then, let us just fetch the papers to sign downstairs”

“Before I forget, how much is the house”

“Considering that it is already furnished, how about I offer the house to you for four thousand and three hundred bits? Consider the furniture a welcome gift”

“I think I have more than enough. Let us see those papers shall we?”

Chapter 6 - Hello! Is any muffin home?

Chapter 6 - Hello! Is any muffin home? [1/2]

Spiced Tea, a former human now turned pony. Now begins his official life as a member of this planet and its species. You start of this very morning with a bang.

*THUD*

Uhh…You start this morning with a two foot drop to the floor. Yeah that’s it.

“Oww!” finding yourself on the floor, you manage to pry open your eyes. Taking in whatever the sun has illuminated. Just then as you are starting to adjust to the light, a beam coming from one of the generous windows shines them back shut, painfully.

One would think that falling off the bed would be a rude awakening. But you do not think so. This twisted reasoning came from the best night’s sleep he ever had. Though you only hit his bed 5 hours ago which left you a bit lethargic but still felt good. So taking a few more moments on the floor, Spice decided on catching some sun. Feeling its warm rays massage, caress around your body.

‘This feels like a massage’

Which is true, it feels just like a massage. Like there are feather light hooves moving around your body. It felt heavenly. The hooves methodically searching your body for sore spot, which when you let out a groan signified the existence of one. Having them rub away your stress felt great. And along side your great slumber, made an excellent combo. Until these hooves went around to places they shouldn’t. So sure sunlight in essence is light, but feeling it move under your blanket. Light cannot do that. Light cannot rub your flank with a blanket wrapped around your lower body.

“Okay sunlight, enough of the massages I need to wake up” telling the sun to stop molesting you.

Then the sun replied “Aww, and I was having so much fun”

Then panic set in. Somepony was actually molesting your body. And that somepony replied.

“And here I came all this way just so I could spend the morning with you” the silky disembodied voice spoke again.

She sounded disappointed. Her voice reassured you that it she is truly female. But the point is that someone in your room. So in a mad attempt to escape, you decide to run.

“AHH! Get away from me”

*CRASH*

Which you did; you ran into the wall. Luckily, that the impact did not knock you out. So lying on the floor, you turn your head to the mystery intruder. Although your slight is blurry and the impact did not help, you were still able to make something out. Focusing you notice a white blob.

‘Try…again’

Okay. You see a white blob with a pink hat.

‘That’s not right…ahh my head’

Again you see what now appears to be a white Pegasus with a pink mane. And she is approaching you with a worried gaze. It seems as though this pony means no harm. Who are you kidding? This pony tried to do the nasty with you.

“Spice are you okay? It looked like you hit your head pretty bad back there. Do you want me to make it…feel better?” she tried propping you up against the wall; seeing if you were alright even after the suggested innuendo.

“Please miss, I don’t want any trouble-“

‘Ding’ wait a minute.

“Miss how-“ you were interrupted by a hoof to your mouth.

“Shh! Call me Sunny Skies”

“Okay then. Sunny how do you know my name”

“Oh that’s easy, I already know you. Just as you know me and Selene, my sister” she then took this opportunity to sit on your thighs. Preventing any means for you to escape using your legs. This is getting uglier. Even more so, she pressed her hooves on your shoulders, pinning you to the wall. She took her time in closing the distance between your bodies, her body heat very much noticeable. “But enough about that, I mentioned something about a payment before. I’m just here to cash it in”

‘Oh shit! Okay maybe this isn’t so bad, considering you are about to be violated by a mare you vaguely even remembered!’ Well if you took the time to calm yourself, the clues would have pointed to the obvious. But before long, time has slowed down giving you a chance to think.

‘White coat, pink eyes, pink hair, and a sun for a cutie mark’

‘Nope. Nothin-wait! HOLD IT!’

‘DING’ your eyes widen. Looking at the mare now and carefully, you now know who you are dealing with.

“Oh shit!”

At this epiphany, you regain your strength. But not titanic strength though as you held back the approaching and kiss that you FINALLY took notice off.

“Sunny! Please stop, don’t kiss me…yet.”

“And why shouldn’t I?”

“Because, if Luna were to see us then I would be in trouble and YOU would be sent…somewhere-I don’t know!”

“Finally figured out who I am, huh? Well no matter, she does not know of my location at the moment. In fact I believe she does not know that I’m missin-“

“LUNAAA PUUUNCH!”

“What a beautiful morning for a muffin!” a grey mailmare proclaiming to nopony special. She is always there first at the post office. Specifically, she is the only one assigned on the morning mail route. So taking up a big chunk of muffin; Derpy faced the day with joy and great conviction. Telling herself that nothing bad will happen this day. Then came in Mayor Mare

“Oh! Miss Doo the pony I wanted to see”

“Mmff, Ysh Myrh”

“Enjoying another muffin I see. What flavor have you purchased today?” the Mayor said, settling down before Derpy’s mail counter.

*GULP* “A Raspberry Mint muffin” finishing off with a lick of her lips, cleaning of the leftover crumbs.

“Maybe I should see to buying some for myself.” the elder mare said before going through her saddle packs. She then pulled out a leather bound booklet and gave it to Derpy.

Derpy then eyed the future mail parcel. “A Ponyville passport?”

“Yes Derpy, I want you to deliver this to our newcomer over by Fount District near Bazaar lane. The one with the-“

“-PUUUNCH”

*BOOM CRASH AND ALL SOUNDS OF DESTRUCTION*

“You mean the one that just exploded, Mayor?” Derpy said whilst popping out from cover behind her counter, Mayor Mare popping out of cover right beside her. Both seem to face the general direction of the loud impact. It seemed to come from the fount district. And by looking thru the window, a cloud of smoke arose from said direction.

“Y-Yeah…”

“…WE ARE ASHAMED OF YOU! THY WISH TO DOMINATE A HELPLESS PONY IS NOT AN EXAMPLE WE WISH FOR YOU TO LIVE BY! Why we never think in a thousand years thee would stoop to such a level!”

‘It certainly is useful to have a microphone stuck in your throat’ your thought ended with an ouch as ‘Selene’ dressed your injuries from the shrapnel that was your wall.

“Are you done nagging yet?”

“YES…Now my dear sister if you would be so kind as to repair the wall. You can only take a break if thou art done with repairing the wall.”

“…”

“I say again…IF THOU ART DON-“

“I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!” Sunny quipped with her tongue sticking out in the end.

This is insane. From what you heard and read from ponies and their books. The two most powerful beings in all of Equestria are in your bedroom. Whose powers move the two significant celestial bodies in the sky and command them as they wish. Whose whim can and will turn any moving object into jelly. And they are having a shouting match. And a little while ago, one was trying to take advantage of you and the other put her through a wall. And the bigger of the two who is repairing said wall. And the smaller of the two dressing your injuries from the shrapnel of the blast.

And yet, it is easy to tell them apart; even if they are disguised.

‘This is insane’

“Ow!” a sharp pain made you wince as Selene pulled out a splinter from your shoulder, a really long splinter. Makes you wonder, if at that length is it still considered a splinter or a wooden stake?

“We apologize for the wall. But if we had not come in time, who knows what has become of you with that witch” giving the princess of the sun a raspberry. Such a childish act is unbecoming of one such as her. But shows how huge the age gap between the two. One has telltale signs of pure innocence and childish glee. The other…well not so much innocence.

“So other than almost ravishing me and nearly killing me. Why are you both here?” you say, trying to be dead pan as you possibly could.

After disinfecting your wound, Selene turned her head to make sure her sister did not answer until she finishes her voluntary repair. And confident that she would not interrupt “We-that is to say I, was supposed to be the one to visit you today. I am here to help you with aspects of pony magic.”

“And I am here to keep you company-“

“Shush!”

“…humph” feeling defeated, Sunny continued her chore of fixing the bedroom wall, while nursing the ice pack over her left eye.

“Now where was I? Since you have selected Unicorn as your starting form and joined the physical aspects of an earth pony. You have the better aspects of the two tribes.” finishing off her sentence with a sharp pull, affixed the bandages over your torso. Admiring her work she continued “So I am, how do you ponies say, your tutor. I will teach you basics of each tribe.”

“Tutor me so that I won’t accidentally blow something up?”

“Precisely” whined Sunny as she lifted a beam that was once the wall supports. She totally ignores the glare her younger sibling is giving.

“Sunny on the other hand, thought that it would be funny to get to you first. Seeing is that I won the wager, she is supposed to be holding day court at this very moment. And I would have spent that time mentoring you WITHOUT interruption.”

“But you got to hand it to me sis, the palace guards are none the wiser”

“By none the wiser you mean drug them, tie the entire west wing platoon in rope, and gagging them with cucumbers and what-have-you pilfered from the royal kitchens”

“Well they asked for it. Can’t I have paid leave like the rest of our staff?”

“We shall discuss this later!”

“hmpf!” a second hmpf. Round two goes to Selene.

“Before I forget, have you used your crystal ball to activate your latent abilities?”

“Was about to do that this morning”

“Huzzah, just my luck! Well then, I shall prepare some ink and parchment. I would love to document this event for tomes. We have many to discuss and you to learn” and with that, Selene trotted downstairs leaving you and Sunny alone.

Upon finding that you are not alone, you thought best to exit, stage left. You have no such luck. As you were thinking of escaping the inevitable awkward moment. Sunny decided that it was high time that she said something.

“Before you head downstairs, mayhap you grant me a moment to speak my mind?” she said without turning to face you. Giving you a disadvantage as you cannot read her face.

“Umm…Sure?” you awkwardly glance at her direction. Her body unmoving; except for the debris she moves around with her telekinesis.

“Thank you.”

Seeing is that this may or may not be a trap. You took position near the stairs, just in case.

“Spice, are you aware that seventy nine percent of Equestria’s population is female?”

“Yeah, it was written in the book you gave me. but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, but do you know of the current alignment of the population?”

“…come again?”

“Alright…” giving you a slight nod she continues sorting out the debris. The pile in front of her now looking like a giant jigsaw puzzle, made with an actual jigsaw. “…now as you might have noticed from your travel. The mares that you have encountered acted differently around you, am I right?”

“Do you have something to do with this?”

Instead of an answer there came a bright glow. A glow reminded you of the sun. After witnessing a magical flashbang, your sight returns to you. Seeing is that there is no hole in the wall, Sunny’s repair work seems finished. It is like the mad lunar mare punch barely ripped a hole into it. And as a finishing touch, Sunny conjured a picture frame with her and Selene on the wall.

“There we go, all done. Now let me see if I can cook us all up some breakfast.” She exclaims as she hurried down the stairs.

Somehow you smile at the picture on the wall. Upon close inspection shows Sunny and Selene, playing around with a bowl of alfalfa. Even thru this morning’s ruckus, they still care for others. Even if rape and destruction is part of their repertoire, their kindness outshines this. To the point that you let your unanswered question slide.

Hearing a commotion, you decided to head downstairs. To make sure that they down destroy anything else with their sibling squabbles. So heading down you take time to look about your new home in detail. At the moment there is not much detail to go on. Except for recent photographs and picture frames that are randomly strewn about, courtesy of the Diarchy.

Upon reaching the landing, you take notice of Sunny. Standing the hearth in the living room, she took interest of the empty space above it. The turned notice you and gave a smile. Not the usual creepy smile, no. She gave you an earnest and almost mother-like smile. That is until she had her rump swing at you.

‘Okaaay…will escape now’

*knock, knock*

“Hello! Is any muffin home?”

“I’ll get it” you say to the sisters. Both gave a reply to acknowledge that you have a visitor.

It took you a while last night to figure out how to work the doorknobs. Having a hoof and not a hand with a prehensile thumb made for a tough lesson. But you got the hang of it anyway. At least most of the knobs here are lever types.

So after a good minute of fiddling with the doorknob, the door opened to reveal a mare. A grey coated mare with charming yellow eyes and mane. The bag slung under her wings and the hat she is wearing gives off the aura of postal officer or a police officer.

“Hello”

“Hi there! You must be the newcomer the mayor told me about. I am your mailmare Derpy of Ponyville Postal and Courier Office!” she said this in a way that brought the feeling of bubble in your body. Like a giddy feeling when you were a child. And that smile of hers, cute.

“Nice to meet you Derpy, my name is Spiced Tea but you can call me Spice.” you say in earnest. Matching the same gusto as when Derpy greeted you.

“Yes I am the newcomer here, I just arrived yesterday. But it seemed that nopony was around when I arrived.” you remember that day like it was yesterday. Well it was yesterday but no matter, you remembered it. And something along the lines of a crumpled paper with a town notice or something.

“Oh, I’m sorry if nopony was here yesterday. The clouds were all sad and grey and nopony would not want to come out. But that was a good thing because most of us were kind of crazy last, last night.” She pulled out some sort of party invitation. It was dated the day before yesterday. The invitation confirmed what Mayor Mare mentioned.

“Mayor Mare was kind enough to give out an emergency notice to the residents. So she asked me to deliver this huge stack of papers to everypony in town” she gave you one of her remaining copies. The paper looked just like the one that flew into your face yesterday.

‘Imagine that….’

“Some of us wanted to stay home to rest. I couldn’t though because I had to do a delivery and I had a special muffin ordered too. So I was in a real hurry to go home with that muffin and share it with my other special muffin.”

“Other special muffin?” you ask in dire curiosity. You are unnaturally attentive to what Derpy is saying.

“My other very special muffin.” She then rummaged thru her bag, looking for something in one of the many pouches. She then pulled out a worn and much loved picture of a unicorn foal. “My daughter Ditzy”

You smile at this. You were about to give a thoughtful reply but none came. You just stood there admiring a hard working mother. Her love and dedication oozing out from her like it’s an innate part of her being.

“Well enough about me. I am here to deliver your first parcel.” As much as she wants to stare at the picture of her daughter, she indeed has a job to do.

“Alright”

“Without further ado Mr. Spice, here are your citizenship papers, the deed to your house, and a couple of coupons for Sugar Cube Corner and Ponyville local directory”

Each item dispensed, she wanted to give to you normally. But upon having a reminder of how happy she is, she decided to fling them at you haphazardly. On your part, you wanted to receive them on hoof. And yet since you are without magic, your face and chest had to do. Even if it makes for a painful discovery that Derpy is stronger than she appears to be.

Authors note:

References go to Sunny Skies All Day long by Phantom Fox and Progress by Andrew Joshua Talon.

Chapter 7 - A mutual understanding

Chapter 7 – A mutual understanding [2/2]

“Spice…kfast is serv…”

You awoke to the scent of blueberries.

“…Selen…at are you doin…umm I kinda…piced Tea…nocked out…”

The scent was neither overbearing nor was it light. It smells just like a freshly baked blueberry pie or the scent of shampoo you use to wash your mane. Not that you use blueberry shampoo for your mane, you’re a man…err stallion of course. But that is not what caught your attention. It was HOW you were able to taste those blueberries.

“…ister…we nee…ouse…”

You could also distinguish another scent. It reminded you of peaches. It is as noticeable as the blueberry. Both scents mix in your mind, giving you the impression of a dessert. And like the former, you can almost taste the peaches.

“…blueberries…peaches…yum…” that was all you mutter before you slid into a coma. Abruptly ending your journey here in Equestria; I sure hope you saved your game.

Just kidding, you only passed out….again.

An hour passed before you awoke. Sadly you do not seem to detect those scents from earlier. But you awoke with a different feeling. A cold wet feeling from a cold wet cloth atop your head. Now this was no cause for alarm. It is perfectly understandable to have such a thing on your head after practically getting winded by a directory as thick as a phonebook. Not that there are any phones in this world.

‘Mental note: Find out if there are any other forms of technology similar to those from home’. You wanted to nod at this thought. But you were halted by the throbbing pain from the welt apparent on your head.

*groan*

“Oh good, you’re awake! How do you feel?” an angelic voice asked.

“Am I dead yet? Are you a messenger of some higher being who is incredibly hot?”

“You will be if you don’t stop with the flattery. You might be as worse as my sister,” can she ever take a compliment?

“Well you are still a looker princess.”

“And you are still unconscious and I would love it to be that way if you keep this up” now that was a critical hit to the gems, ouch.

Taking the hurtful comment in pride you open your eyes. Only this time was not so much painful as you had opened them when you woke up. You find yourself looking at a ceiling lamp. It is a simple looking modern lamp. But at least it does the job of lighting up a room, right?

You then turn your head and see the Princess of the Night on the floor. Reading what appears to be your papers in front of the fire place. She looks kind of cute this way. A childish curiosity adorn her form with her glasses on. She looks like those cute librarians back home. She then looks to you and catches your glance.

She raises an eyebrow. “So how does it feel to be back in the land of the living?”

“Well I thought that maybe getting knocked out would have brought me back to my world,” you say as you sat up on the couch. Finding it uncomfortable to be sitting like a human, you decided to lie like the Princess but on the couch.

“So, did thy plan work?” she asks, turning back to your papers. Seeing if they check out with your character sheet, she wrote then after all.

“Ye-no. But seriously, it is not my fault I got-Wait how is Derpy?”

“She is fine; she just took her leave to continue her mail route. She said that she is sorry and would like to make it up to you.” She takes a sheet with her magic. After looking closely, she turns it away with disgust.

Noticing the sheet in question, you decided to take a look-see. You then realize the name written on the edge:

‘I forgot to give you my contact details…Desk Penny.’

You shudder at this and has taken the same disgust the princess shown. You continue the conversation, trying to forget that paper…note…thingy…Whatever. At that time you hear your front door open and close. And later you find Sunny balancing a paper bag on her back. She probably went out shopping for supplies and such. She gives you a nod and heads to the kitchen. You still wonder if breakfast is still on the table.

“That’s good, I really hate to see a pony like that worried. She just so happy, you know?”

“Indeed, she has been through much. She shared many things with Sunny and I.”

“Yeah, I had a feeling she knew you both. I kinda had snippets of what happened before I enjoyed my unconsciousness.”

“Y-You s-saw-w-what! W-Where you a-awake d-d-during that t-t-t-time?!” You take this moment to notice that dark blue can actually transform cherry red. A noticeable blush growing on the Moon Princess’s face apparent.

“Whoa there princess, what are you talking about?” you ask out of defense and shock to find her blush maddening and her panic increasing.

“Y-You said…What exactly did you see?! ANSWER ME!” she then holds you in a grip similar to a cop interrogating a suspect in those shows you watch back home. Truly a menacing experience if you were being treated as such by a panicky goddess.

“I just saw You, Derpy and Sunny bring me in. That is all I can remember, I swear!” She releases you from her grip. You let out a sigh to your freedom.

“GOOD! I mean good. It is good that you are alright. Yes let us eat breakfast now, yes?!” Selene hurriedly says before making it to the kitchen, leaving you on the couch utterly dumbfounded.

Seeing that you won’t likely get any answers out of her, you choose to have a good breakfast instead. Before noticing during the death grip, you recall smelling something. Something faint and familiar but you couldn’t put a hoof on it. It was a scent that came from Selene.

‘Blueberries…’

You keep that in mind. But now is not the time for thinking but the time for eating.

After a simple yet wonderful breakfast, you three decided upon a plan. Today will be training day for you. But first things first you need to activate your Unicorn form abilities and your Pegasus form for flying and weather manipulation. So indeed today will be a hard day. To do so, you’ll need to set up a room for your study.

Why? Because that is where you will be able to use the crystal orb without bother. A place where you can go look up your books, records and the like. And a safe repository for anything that resembles what you call back on earth ‘stash’. The reasons why everypony should have a study.

It is a good thing you bought this house. Aside from the numerous rooms and their spacious size, it was hard choosing one to be your study. All of them perfect, with the same amount of windows and exposure to light and the outside world. Though the point of having a study is to have a private place, and windows could offer problems.

So you three decided upon the room to the left of the stairs. It offers quick access and only has one window. Somewhat spacious if only not used as a storage room. But it will have to do in the mean time. So clearing a space on a dusty end table, you gingerly placed the crystal orb on top with its purple pillow.

“Don’t forget to wear the amulet I made.” You gingerly holding the amulet in your hooves and nod as Sunny said that.

“So…What do I do now?” You look towards the two. Sunny was currently reading that weird paper that got mixed up. While looking to Selene, you find her referring into what appears to be a scary tome.

“Nothing much, all you need to do is stand in front of the orb and say the release incantation”.

“And that is there is to it?”

“Yes.”

“Sunny, what is your say in this?”

“That you should take Desk Penny out on a date. My sources say she is heartbroken and a stallion like you could fulfill her dreams.” She finishes with a wide grin and waggling eyebrows.

“That is not what I meant!”

“I know, I just like to tease you. It ’makes my day’.”

“…”

“…”

*snicker*

All of you just laugh. No matter how corny that was or the manner it was delivered. It actually “made you day”. Even Selene thought it was funny and is currently on the floor holding her sides.

“Sister, you are horrible!”

*laughing* “Seriously Sunny? Come on that one stank.”

“I know and I love it! Now enough with the laughing we have a job to do”

“Which is?” you say after the giggle fit. You try as much to hold down most of the laughing spasms.

“You asked me and now I am going to answer. What needs to happen while you cite the incantation…“

Sunny says as she circles you, her horn glowing. She motions her sister to do the same.

“Normally when we have spells like this, we give it a test go before going through the motions” Selene’s eyes glow briefly as she starts to mirror her counterpart, the glow of their horns start to grow around you. “But since this is new to us, we should take some precaution. We would not know what our magic would do to your soul”

“So basically Selene here is a virgin”

“A virginal alicorn goddess, thank you very much!!”

“…We generally don’t know what will happen, so we will have to erect a barrier to protect you and to protect us.”

You take notice of the faint humming from the newly placed barrier around you.

“Spice I suggest we continue with the ritual; lest we have the barrier weaken due to time,” Selene said, her voice cracking due to the stress of maintaining the barrier. And for the sisters to sweat by having a small barrier like this on, it surely must be one strong barrier.

“Okay. Fire in the hole I guess.”

And so you start. It was basically a readable spell. Nothing too complicated but it was really long. There were very worrying words like:

‘May thine heart be torn asunder for the price of blah blah blah’

Seriously! Those blahs were part of the incantation. The torn asunder part is totally fine, every kind of magic must have a price sure. Now you seriously doubt your safety. Especially when the erected barrier is starting to snap, crackle and pop. Probably because of the released incantation.

‘Like cereal except made with dangerous magic…GREAT!’

“Steel yourself Spice!”

“Hold on Spice, the spell is starting to pick up.”

And before you could say ‘tentacle spectacle’ the floor beneath you started to ooze out…wait for it…tentacles! But since you are not a female, what these things did to you was somewhat ordinary. They grab your throat and mid section and pierce all your limbs. Letting their magic flow in and out your body, letting them seep into your soul. You feel a slight burning sensation but it’s tingly all the same. But what was noticeable was how these tentacles felt like rearranging your nerves. And you even started to feel your horn.

But what was not supposed to happen is you started to sprout wings. It looks like the magic tentacles also activated your amulet. In the same manner as your horn, you also started to feel your wings. Only this time you felt them and you were able to move them, clumsily.

“CELESTIA, YOU DIDN’T?!”

“I was about to tell you that I might have placed an extra feature in his amulet”.

“No wonder it took you that long to enchant a simple amulet”

“It is for the best Luna. And besides it looks like we cut his training time in half”

“That is not an idea I love to entertain sister!”

“Let us put it this way, at least we have a go to pony for delicate missions, eh? Nudge-nudge wink -wink”

“W-Well talk a-about that later!”

They both converse about the implications of your activated Alicorn form, while holding the barrier at full. Never once faltering even after a small shock caused from the tentacles disappearing. But that small shock was all it took for the floor to shine a bright light. After the light faded, you find yourself huddled in place. And you find the other two who at the moment have their disguises nullified.

‘That light must have done something to have them out in the open like this’

“Am I still in one piece?” you say out aloud. Checking if the two other should reply, that would mean they survived.

“You are and I think I am. How about you Selene?”

“Sister, I do believe our cover has been nullified”

“We could conjure them up again. But I suggest we take a breather for a moment. I am quite winded.”

“Spiced Tea, do you have any refreshments that we can all partake in?”

“I don’t think so,” you say as you stood on all fours, still thinking about if you have some drinks in the very inconspicuous fridge in the kitchen.

It is those refrigerators which looks like cabinets that run on cooling magic. You remember freaking out on how awesome this was, especially when you found out that it does not run on electricity. How magic makes life here simple, you will never know…yet.

“I went to the general store a while ago Luna,” Celestia said as she walked out the room, possibly looking for your couch. “I purchased some apple juice, some sarsaparilla. You know the regular fair. But I also found some mead”

“I would rather have the apple juice, thank you very much. I do not wish to be inebriated at the moment as I have to help our little Spice get accustomed to being a pony,” Luna retorts sounding like a grumble as she plods right beside her sister on the couch. And you are amazed how your couch can actually hold two goddesses. “Tia, remind me later to reprimand you about sneaking an Alicorn form into the amulet.”

“If I can remember to remind you…heh.” Celestia gives out a cheeky smile before getting slapped to the back of her head.

“I think I would like the sarsaparilla,” you say as you try to remember the last time you drank something as such. Yes, you tell yourself that while ignoring ‘Royal Rumble’ going on in your house.

So having the good fortune that the house came with a standing mirror and in the living room no less, you investigate your new appendages. Having a horn is normal, you had it since day one. Other than the pulsating hum you feel from it, it seems to be inert at the moment. But wings on the other hand felt refreshing, so to speak. It is like having a phantom limb, except without the process of having the said limb amputated before hand, no. It feels like an extension of your forearms but at the same time it is not. So you gave them an experimental flap.

“This feels funny,” you say as you fully extend your wings. You count every single feather on them, from the primary feathers all the way to the barbs.

“So Spice, how do you enjoy the life of a pony so far?”

“It feels like I am reborn.”

She just smiles at this. Looking over her shoulder you notice that Luna has fully knocked her sister out. That would also explain that her mane is somewhat unkempt. But the point of the matter is Celestia is down for the count.

“Spice, I believe it is time for us to get started.”

“Alright, but are we going to have the lessons right here?”

“Neigh, but I do know of a clearing at the town’s edge. We could find privacy there.”

“And what about your sister,” you point out to Celestia, who on queue had twitched a leg. “She is still out cold though.”

“Then we will just have to drag her out there.”

“And how do you propose to bring the unconscious Princess Celestia out in the open?”

“Where is your cart?”

“It is in the garage-Oh.”

That smile, that cool and cruel smile that Luna gave you. It is just sinister. And you are starting to like her for it.

But alas, your nightmares have manifested themselves into flesh.

“Selene?”

Following ever so closely behind you, stalking you like a predator to its prey.

“Yes?”

The predators numbers are great and your party is but of three ponies. One of which has succumbed to their might.

“Tell me again why you have a large amount of cucumbers lying around?”

A little while ago, you both carried Celestia into your cart in the garage. And would your luck have it, there is a considerable amount of cucumbers on the ground. But you did not focus on the traumatizing vegetable yet. As you both tried to find some object that would let you move undetected while the princess sleeps at the back, there are none to be found. And in sheer brilliance of Luna who now has taken in her disguise as Selene the Librarian, decided to use the cucumbers as cover.

It too is painfully obvious that if you were to waltz out there, any passerby would notice that you are an Alicorn. So to solve that problem, you decided to wear your saddlebags. And the idea sounded good at the time. Ever since then, the initial distance you traveled caused them to chafe against your wings, very uncomfortable indeed.

“It is my Sister’s fault. She tied and gagged most of the night guards with rope and cucumber. I supposed when I winked out of the castle, I brought some along with me. Pardon if it gives you any discomfort.”

An ironic twist of fate that the very princess who currently lies in your cart is covered by the vegetables she used to stop her own guards. Ironic isn’t it?

“Not at all Princess-OW!” you note before the pain that a portion of her mane suddenly curled itself into a blunt instrument and whacked you behind the head.

‘How does she do that?’ You will never know, unless you would dare to find out.

“I am in-how do you modern folk say it…Incognito?”

“Okay-okay I get it, sorry.”

“...Tis alright”

“...”

“You should have been there when she used radishes months ago”

“Wha?!...”

You both then decided upon idle banter. Seeing is there are not much ponies out at the moment. It gave you the luxury of discretion. Not that lugging around a cart full of cucumbers is nothing but. It just gave you a chance to engage in small talk. Princess Celestia once said prior to your adventure something about Luna and herself. She also made you read a book about Equestrian Myths and Legends. You read something along the lines of banishment and return. You still can’t put a hoof on it though.

‘Spiced Tea just so you know, the reality may be that you are stranded in our world. If by any chance that you may not make it back, we both will honor you as a member of our race. Do note one thing, when speaking with Luna. Please be gentle with her, not that her innocence is on the line, but speak to her like you speak with me or other humans. Speak to her normally, like dialog between best friends.’

It is true what they say about Luna. She is somewhat socially inept, and needs guidance. You feel this need to teach her as well as she teaches you. A mutual understanding-

‘-Oh and she is single, loves to eat rosemary pumpkin pudding, loves to bathe a lot so remember that, there is this spot under her wing that………’

That is no longer mutual.

It is really awkward when your family member starts to give references about you. You will just have to keep that information under lock and key until you can make good use of it. Giving any mention of this information to her now is a sign of suicide.

‘Then again, if your tastes are refined to the mature, I am always available. I am at least a thousand years more than my sister which is mid thirties to your kind. I am a very hot goddess; my beauty unrivaled. Very experienced in all the things you can think of. Courtship is fine but we can always skip to the bedr-‘

‘BLOODY NO!’ you derail that train of thought.

How did your idea reach there, you never will never know. But for good measure you decided to look back at the cart you are hauling. Her leg took the opportune moment to pop out of the cucumber pile and gave itself a little spasm. You can even bet that she is smiling under there. Even when unconscious, she manages to fluster and traumatize you. She is an evil, evil mare!

“It appears we have arrived where we should be,” you hear Selene say.

“Where is here, exactly?” you ask, realizing that the entire time you thought, your legs went into autopilot and followed her all the way out here.

“This site is the clearing I spoke of. If you are to take note of how remote it is to the town. You can barely hear the hustle and bustle from Ponyville.”

Raising an eyebrow you raise your ear to ensure if she was right. A few moments got you nothing, but by closing your eyes you find out how keen your hearing is. As all you can hear is the rustling of trees and bushes. The area sounded completely empty, devoid of any onlookers.

*boop*

Something just bopped you on the nose or someone. You open your eyes to find Selene’s face inches from yours. Her own directed at your lips and her breath deep.

“Uhh…Selene?”

Broken out of her reverie, she shook her head. Thinking that twenty shakes would do the trick, she stops to face you again. Not realizing that she is inches from kissing you. Not that you want her to kiss you or anything. But that does not bother her, as she just smiles. But this smile is nothing like you have seen before. No. This smile is creepy, somewhat filled with mischief but not all malevolent.

“It appears we have lost track of time. But fear not, since you are at the moment an Alicorn. It would make do to teach you abilities of both tribes, as it would be faster. Even more so is what I have planned at the moment.”

‘This does not sound good.’

“What do you have in plan?” she takes this time to magic your harness to your cart off, lifting you with her as she goes and places you in front of her.

“Spar with me.”

“WHAT?!”

Panic is good. Work with it.

“Be ready! For at this moment. The. Fun. shall. be. doubled!”

So you training begins along a healthy dose of reality. The princess is very enthusiastic upon taking up the role of a mentor. AS she believes blasting you to the inch of your life would certainly teach you the basics. Which in your case is catching the magic bolts with your torso, making you barrel in the air like a missile.

Though unbeknownst to you, a familiar pink blob is left unnoticed behind a copse near the outline of trees. Its blue eyes taking in every detail of your session with Luna, its gaze glued to you. In its mind plotting, waiting for the perfect time to strike, thinking when you’re most vulnerable. She flashes a grin, the pink blob disappears.

Authors note:

References go to Sunny Skies All Day long by Phantom Fox, and Progress by Andrew Joshua Talon.

Chapter 8 - Why ‘ello thar

Chapter 8 – Why ‘ello thar [1/2]

Yesterday’s rise from your bed was considered near angelic. But this morning’s rise should be considered as borderline hangover. So how did you end up in such a miserable state? You try and ask yourself that, but thinking at the moment gave you a headache.

“Spice...*groan*...Next time...” you let that out but near the end you had to clutch your head between your hooves. The pain you feel becoming most unbearable.

What started as a friendly sparring match turned ugly.

You thought that playing video games would give you an edge over Selene. Years of spending your time in front of your favourite console, hours on end playing. Your vivid imagination complaining on how stupid some of the video game characters moves are, and you decided to substitute your own. And this was the time to show them how cool your technique is. This was the time to show the moon goddess your training in heroic and slightly theatric video game moves.

Sadly they have video games in this world too. And for a bored princess, she plays them a lot. She shares that it helps her pass the time when she does not feel like sleeping during the day. She mentioned that whenever she holds night court, the slightest sign that no one is seeking audience for the night, she ends it quick. Sometimes when diplomats hold extremely boring meetings, she casts a body double in her place to give her a sneaky escape window. Both scenarios giving her the chance to escape to the secret gaming room. Playing her heart and frustrations out until she is spent, which she says is usually before Celestia wakes up.

So, by the time you tried to do a fly dash combo with a kinetic barrier launcher strike, Selene decided to show you the Luna special. It was a good thing for you both that no was looking when Selene did a flashy transformation into Luna. Apparently she is a fan of theatrics like you are.

So what was an ugly sparring match ended into a deep nine foot crater into the ground.

*poink*

“ARGH!” something sharp poked your backside, leaving you completely unaware of its presence, until now.

Digging around your bed, you see a black metal pointy thingy. Now being a reasonable and intelligent being that you are, the name black metal pointy thingy would surely not do the object justice. So upon taking it into your hooves you closely inspect the other cause of your moment’s discomfort.

“This looks like...Luna’s Crown? What is it doing in my bed?” considering that what you said was the most effort you put in is actually saying something this morning.

Since you are in a foul mood this morning, you toss the crown indiscriminately behind you. Its impact resulting in a ringing thud when metal hit wood. To make matters worse, you hear an alarm clock set off. You turn to your nightstand to face the infidel. But you could not take your frustration towards the object; it is only doing what it was designed for. So slamming your hoof on the snooze button was your only and slightly gratifying choice.

Slipping out of bed your hooves met the cold hardwood floor. You stretch out any kinks or pains you have. Making doubly sure to not overexert yourself, you now use your newfound magic to help ease your morning routine. Stretching and pulling here with twisting and popping joints there. Although it felt good, you still don’t feel a hundred percent.

‘Shoulders...hooves...neck...worn...wings...!’

“I forgot to change back...shit...I hope no one saw me like this”

So in realising you’re in Alicorn form, you tap the amulet you placed on the nightstand. Your touch activating it, having its magic flow into you, its master. You tell it to change you back into a Unicorn. As much as you would have wanted to stay an Alicorn, you know you don’t have a choice. Upon hearing that the species only has three existing Alicorns, you would best be careful about revealing yourself in such state.

Not unless you want to spark panic and the obligatory angry mob. Though it would make your life so much easier with not having to transform every day, such is your price.

“mea bullas mutare forma, unicornis.” A sudden glow envelops your body. And in a quick flash and residual thunderclap, you are now a unicorn. Funny how most spells in Equestrian Magic are in Latin.

All that transformation did not stop the incoming migraine though.

You are about to leave your house. Deciding that you are too lazy and tired to make your own breakfast, you decided to eat out. Remembering that you had some coupons from Derpy, you head to your kitchen where Sunny/Celestia conveniently placed them on the fridge with a magnet.

“I worship pies and plots” an odd looking magnet that portrays a mare balancing a pie on her bum, the mares coat having a holographic color change effect between white and dark blue.

“Suggestive much Celestia?” you say to no one. Not that saying that in public would be any better.

So taking the coupons from the odd magnet, you begin deciding which of these coupons to use, all of them depicting delicious baked goods.

“Let’s see: Vanilla cupcakes, cinnamon swirls with dates and pine nuts, flapjack berry ala mode, Wednesday puff pastry basket...” but it is a Thursday today.

Believing in the saying, indecision bounds in sudden inspiration, you decided to take them all anyway. Also And noting that the address of the bakery is conveniently printed at the back. Nice. So heading towards the front door, you prepare in sampling those yummies. Your mouth waters in anticipation.

That is till you take notice of the morning mail jammed by the door’s mail slot. It seems as though Derpy’s way of making it up to you is by stuffing your mail with more coupons. She must really love that place and her muffins of course. It also looks like you have an endless supply of coupons to spend for special days. So taking what you already had levitated, you placed the rest of the new coupons on the table by the foyer. Putting them in a stack to maintain a bit of household cleanliness and order.

So, having left your house, you now start your official duty as the new neighbour to greet all incoming ponies. That is if your head still does not want to settle.

So as you greet ponies and ask around for direction to Sugarcube Corner. You don’t take notice of a pink blob now turned blur as it hopped around on rooftops. Obviously trailing your movements as you went about your business. Observing every interaction you made, like you were an experiment set loose in an obstacle course.

The blur then stops a few rooftops behind you. It looks at your general direction and knowingly smiles as you made it near your intended direction.

It might have overlooked the fact that you arrived here two days ago, and without it knowing. So a vendetta it seems has formed between you and the blur. But it would not let you escape, no sir. This blur started planning all into last night, making sure every single detail would go off. Leaving a lot of room for unforeseen events and problems, it would systematically adjust accordingly.

After losing some distance, it tries to close in. But seeing as it might have foreseen that Spiced Tea would head for Sugarcube Corner, the blur decided to break ahead of you and tried to head straight into the bakery. Its breath now ragged and its body now sweaty but it did not matter. It knows that when you arrive, the plan will be brought into fruition. Spiced Tea will now rue this day that you’ve messed with-

“Pinkie!" a blue Pegasus overhead shouts, asking what Pinkie was doing.

"What is with the running” the Pegasus closing her distance to the mad dashing mare.

"Kinda in a hurry Dashie!"

“You look like you are about to prank somebody and I want in” she flies beside, matching the pink blurs speed.

“Can't really talk right now so no can do Dashie, I have a plan to prepare...” she smiles sincerely, hopping the last roof before she lands behind Sugarcube Corner. Nailing the landing with a 9.8 score.

“...And this one is personal”

You can almost taste those baked goods, their smell carried in the air around the bakery. And just in case you may go overboard in sampling the delectable desserts, you double check if you brought your bit purse with you. And there it is, a few hundred bits clinking within safely hidden in your mane. A very ingenious design for a coin purse, you almost wish that designs like this would appear back home.

And the purse would be of much help as you neared the bakery.

Just then, a tantalising scent hit your nose causing you to careen into the establishment's door. A loud thud grabbed the attention to any passerby but was soon neglected as it was a regular occurrence near the bakery. But you don’t know that.

'Gah! My nose is going to sting for a while' you see whether you might be bleeding. And sure enough you are.

"Good heavens! Are you alright" you hear a mare inside call out, sounds like she is trotting to the door to investigate your misfortune.

"That was quite the impact. Not many of our customers would hit it off that well in the morning" another pony called out, the voice sounding much deeper. And by the sounds he must be chuckling at his pun but was quickly silenced by a resounding shush.

So then the door opened to reveal two bakers, obviously. One was a blue mare and the other was a tall orange stallion, both wearing matching aprons.

"Oh my, it looks like that hit was far worse than it sounded" the blue mare said, the features on her face suggest that you look worse than you think.

"It looks like you need to have that taken care of, come on in while I fetch the first aid kit" the orange stallion offered, ushering you inside.

“You must be new around here, moving in or just passing through?” the mare said as she lead you inside.

“I just moved in two days ago actually. I was not able to get around because I had to unpack. Oh where are my manners, the names Spice Tea”

“And I am Cup Cake and the handsome stallion back there is my husband is Carrot Cake”

“Pleased to meet’cha”

You for the most part are amazed at the amount of sweets and baked goods left out on display. You see hundreds upon hundreds of them. Glistening with syrup, sugar and cream, waiting to be held and viciously consumed.

“You just stay right here sweetie and I’ll go fetch you something to munch on. My husband will be back with the first aid kit before you know it” the blue mare said. And know that you know they are a couple; it is now easy to assume that they own and run this establishment. And they made all of this? That is amazing.

What also amazed you is that the table that you were guided to had some order forms on top. And looking at it was something short of childish glee as everything you can think of is listed there, ready to be ticked off. And if that was not enough there was an empty box at the bottom of the sheet, meant for specialty custom orders.

‘Hot damn!’ is right.

“Cup Cake, I can’t seem to find the first aid kit. Did you see it lying around?” you hear him shout from the back. Probably that is the kitchen.

“I think Pinkie has it. She had a nasty cut last night and I think she forgot to put it back” and from the same direction as the kitchen, the blue mare walked out of those double doors. She balanced a tray on her back, probably containing the something that was meant for you. Awesome!

“Here you go sweetie, our newest creation and you get to enjoy it firsthand. Enjoy” she said as she left to return the tray to the kitchen. Leaving you with some alone time with the delectable specimen before you.

Clicking you hooves together you smile a very wide smile “Why ‘ello thar”

And from the off chance that they might not get the hint that you liked it. The crumbs and cream that looks to have exploded from your plate should.

“Pinkie?! Have you seen the first aid kit?” you hear him shout, facing the stairs. Then you saw an explosively pink pony appear at the top flight of mentioned stairs.

“Yup! There at my loft at the moment. Do you need them? Did somepony walk into the door again? That always happens a lot!”

“Yes, we have a customer here that went and did knock him a bit hard and he is bleeding. So could you take him up there and see to his injury?” he gestured to you and the pink pony gave you a wide smile and a wave, somewhat unsettlingly so.

He continued. “The praline puffs are kind of in a sensitive timeframe at the moment so we couldn’t tend to anything else.”

“Sure thing Mr. Cake! I will make sure that this pony nosey won’t be all icky and bleedy so he will feel all cheery! Hey that rhymed” she giggled at that. And noticing your stare she went down and approached you. Only this time the smile is toned down and a little less unsettling.

“Hi there I’m Pinkie Pie. Welcome to Sugarcube corner but you probably knew, duh? Well I hope you did not hurt your nosey too much because it would be hard to have that fixed up because Ponyville general is currently underhooved at the moment. But don't worry, if you follow me upstairs, Dr Pinkie will make it all better okay?" the explosively pink mare just exploded. Well not really, but she did say all that in an explosive way. What you mean by that way, you mean not thinking of taking in a breath while she spoke.

"Um...Okay"

"Great! Well if you will just follow me to my humble abode, we will get you fixed right as rain. Does rain even go left if they are right? What about fountains, when they squirt water up like...pplplplplpsh...then it stays in the air for a teensy tiny little minute and then it goes down like rain and the..."

Yes you follow her up but you did not follow her train of thought. It seems is that Ms. Pinkie Pie is somewhat bubbly? Well yes if that is the word used to describe her, but something is quite off. A normal being would be content by walking or trotting as a means of movement. But she is just bouncing. Not that you have something against bouncing, no. It is just that when she jumps and lands you hear this faint sound that is similar to a trampoline and a spring. But you could not source where the sound came from. You remember Mayor Mare saying something about weird things:

'If it is weird and has no logical reason, accept it and move on'

So, the short time you followed Pinkie. You have gone up a few floors, probably on the level of the white sugar icing floor of the building. You chuckled at that. You distinctly remember seeing a giant gingerbread house when you first laid eyes on the town. You never would have guessed that the building would be and named Sugarcube corn-

*POMPF*

Pink.

“AAGGHHHH! DONTHURTMEPLEASECOTTONCANDY!!!”

*Giggle* “You’re funny!”

“Huh?”

“You were spacing out when you were following me and your face was all ‘I am a statue’ and then you were laughing which is good. But then you kinda walked into my tush and my tail covered your face and your all like ‘Agh!’ and I was like ‘Hahahaha’ and then you were all like ‘GASP’ but it’s pretty funny”

*Inhale-exhale* “Haaaaa....”

“Come on silly. Let me get you cleaned up” she gestures you to follow her again. Only this time you noticed that she is leading you to another set of stairs.

“So...ummm...you live here?”

“Yup, Mr. and Mrs. Cake gave me a place to stay. And since they needed the help, I went and told them I would help them with baking. And before you know it, I make all these wonderful treats.”

“So you help them out with the baking? So were you the one that made that...that...umm cream-ish-whatever you call it”

*giggle* “Oh you, I call it a vanilla almond crumble puff pastry. Pretty good huh? I made them just this very morning.”

“They are very delicious, especially when the cru-wait...I forgot to pay for it. Oh Celestia. Could you wait a moment Ms. Pinkie, I need to go down and pay for what I ate.” And you were about to until an arm grabbed yours.

You faced to see Pinkie Pie holding on to one of your forearms. A calm look graced her features. She gave you a small, simple smile as she lets you go.

“First call me Pinkie, all my friends do. And second, do not worry about it. We have this policy of the first customer that slams into the shops gets a free order.” She said this in the calmest and gentlest way you can imagine. Truly something out of character for a pony like this but you cannot judge. You only met her today after all. “And I still got to patch you up. You don’t want the blood to get all crusty and icky in your nose, now do we?”

With nothing else, you wordlessly follow her up. No idle threats or tempting offers. Pinkie Pie is just a simple caring pony and nothing else. That is unless you happen to see her room.

Indeed, this pony is every shade of pink but her room is even more so. It is like someone tied TNT and a bucket of pink paint and let it explode in this room. Like on one of those shows you used to watch as a kid. But exploded pink is not really a word to describe all of his. Every nook and cranny is filled with party paraphernalia. Not that the room is offensive to you, no. It is just hard to conceive that Pinkie here could live in such a place.

But again you remind yourself ‘You just met the pony...’

“Welcome to Pinkie’s party palace! Also known as my apartment of fun, but not that kind of fun if that is what you’re thinking” she ends her line with her eyebrows a wiggling and a nudge to your side.

“So over there is my bed and over there are my awesome chalkboard were a plan the most awesomest parties you can ever experience in your whole life. And on your left is my bathroom and over on your right is my chest filled with party stuff along with the shelf over there that holds all my cookbooks and party techniques” and again she does not pause to take a breath.

“I-Is that a cannon?!”

“Yuppers! That there is my patented Party Cannon! Guaranteed to make quick work of decorating empty venues for instant parties”

“Is that thing safe?”

“Yup! Just as long as I don’t pack it with more than 20 grains of black powder, anymore than that would blast a table into teensy tiny little pieces and we don’t want that, nope. So think, how are guests supposed to eat with no table? So I loaded this baby up with a standard 4 place eating set complete with tablecloth; 5 different kinds of streamers set on rotating spin drum inside to ensure equal streamer and confetti spread; 9 balloons with an instafill helium capsule set at a 2 second delay with strings; and did I forget to mention it can reach up to 50 meters of standard propellant amount! Amazing, huh? ” she asked you as she gives her beloved cannon a pat on its back. She also gave the pullstring trigger a slight tug, making sure that the trigger latch is all secured. “I also use compressed air can for the propellant, just in case of little foals are present in the party”

“I...I see. So aside from working at a bakery, you do parties?”

She nods her head at an insane speed as she said “Uh-huh!”

“Imagine that, I never would have guessed”

Actually you did.

“So enough with the chitchat let us get you patched up. But first why don’t you head into the bathroom and clean some of that blood off, ‘kay?”

“Alright, if you say so”

So after taking all that information in, you best decided to head into the bath. Hoping that there wouldn’t be any more surprises or any sort like her cannon. So you cautiously pushed the door open and took a peek head first. You find that the bathroom is completely normal aside from the numerous bottles about and around, of course. White tiles with some pink accents like flowers and laces, it looks safe.

So you head on towards the sink, magicking the faucet open. You let the water run on your hooves a bit before applying them on your muzzle, wiping the dried blood as you go. As you finish, you take notice on the alligator statuette on the counter next to you. You stare at it as it stares at you.

‘Looks lifeless, it must be a statue or figurine or something’ that is where you are wrong.

The alligator statue suddenly opens its maw and jumps at your mane. Taking a good solid chomp, it held on for dear life. While you analyse your predicament, you shrugged it off as a harmless, toothless gator playing around.

‘Pretty normal if you ask me’

“Hey, I forgot to ask, what is your name? Oh! There you are Gummy, I have been looking everywhere for you! It looks like you met the new pony. So what is your name again?” You see Pinkie as, peeking through the doorway.

“Oh yeah, the name is Spiced Tea-“

*BONK*

“I did it Gummy, I DID IT!” Pinkie rejoiced in her attempt to knock you out with a skillet. This worked incredibly well, seeing as you were lying on her bathroom floor.

She then dropped her skillet and picked up Gummy, pulling her pet gator in to a heart-warming hug. “That should teach Mr. Smarty Pants Spiced Tea here not to mess with the Pinkie. He should have at least passed by Sugarcube Corner to at least have something to eat. That way I would have met him and prepared for his party sooner” she exclaimed with a raspberry at Spiced Tea as she put Gummy by the sink, still staring at his master for no reason.

She trotted out and approached her beloved blackboard and flipped it over to reveal the other side:

‘PINKIE PARTY PLAN: Theta Echo Alpha

Lure target into SCC [use experimental recipe 0078-D092] use extra vanilla

Then subdue target with any means [skillet should do]

interrogate ask him, whatever he knows [follow the Mare’s Blind Date questionnaire sheet]

?????? [party or something]

profit!

“Pinkie? Is everything alright? We heard something that sounded like a body dropping to the floor.” Mr. Cake shouting, clearing whatever Pinkie Pie has planned she had to do it quietly.

“It is nothing Mr. Cake, I was just rummaging my closet for the first aid kit” which in actuality is truth. She at the moment is looking for the first aid kit for she still has to patch the obvious looking corpse in her bath.

“Well you kids be careful...And no fooling around, you too just met” she heard him laugh as he went back to do his business. You also hear a faint smack that seemed to have halted Mr. Cake’s laughter which might have come from the wife.

“That was close Gummy, I thought that if they walked in, they would think I murdered him...hehehehe...he he...” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. And if anyone would happen to this scene, jumping to the conclusion of murder would not be far long.

So it seems that she indeed has kept the kit in her closet. So laying the kit by her nightstand, she went about moving your body from the floor to her bed.

“Gosh you are heavy. I think maybe it’s time that we stopping eating cake before bed, huh?” she asks you as she poked your belly. But is soon saddened as you don’t actually have any once of flab on you. In fact, you are strangely well toned for a unicorn. “Huh? Well that’s weird. My Pinkie sense told me you are an egghead like Twilight” with a pout, she continued to drag you towards her bed.

“Though you were all like alicorny with Princess Luna yesterday. Oh well...”

And with a grunt “There that should do the trick” you are now spread across the mattress, your head lay on her favourite pillow.

“Now to get that boo-boo all nice and healed” and so, she prepared some antiseptic and gauze from the first aid kit. She was about to get to seeing that nose of yours but something was amiss.

“You got hit but I don’t see any wound or anything anywhere”

So with a hint of worry, she checked your withers to see the impact she gave with the skillet. And to her surprise there was none. But you were still out cold but she does not realize that now. And probably she should not have said murder a while back.

“Really...that is...t-that's not funny...”

But then, she panicked. Tears started to well in her eyes, cascading down as she tried to stifle a sob. She looked to your face and was met with a peaceful feeling. And that caused for more concern for her.

“G-Gummy....I think...I-I-I killed him...” she tried to bawl and cry but she knew if she done so, the Cake’s would come running up to check what has happened. She did not want that, so instead she approached her bed and bit the pillow your head was resting on. That should silence her and at the same time she would look at the face that she killed only moments before.

But she could not stop her impromptu confession “I...am so SO sorry! I..I did not mean for this to happen...YOU should have went here first...you could have escaped this fate...but instead you made me kill you and-“

*yawn*

You let out a small yawn before turning your head away from Pinkie. Your yawn was exactly the thing she needed to have the fear of murdering a fellow pony in her entire body to just melt away. And that is enough for Pinkie to have a complete emotional 180. And a perfect way to finally ease out the tension that was previously held in the room, Gummy found your head to be an open target for him to crawl onto.

She just smiled at this.

So in a moment of inspiration, Pinkie went about her chalkboard to plan. A plan so bold, so daring that you would forget about her whacking you with a skillet. But right before she finished writing up her modifications. She let off a yawn of her own. Indeed she did not have a wink of sleep since last night as she was planning your demise. All she wanted to do was interrogate you and stuff, but with the ‘I think I murdered him’ thought popped out. That caused her body to eat up of what’s left of her energy.

So she wanted to make things right, at least.

She wanted to lie on the floor, sure. She did not want to disturb you and being the natural hostess that she is, you are a guest. But her head thought otherwise as her body went gone towards the bed. And since your body has not moved an inch since then, she crawled on over beside you and settling with her back facing you. And she even thanked Celestia that you were just sleeping.

Goodness knows what she’ll do if you actually killed a pony.

After letting out a small yawn, she briefly turns her head to give you another once over. Her eyes scanning your features and flaws. Which to her surprise you don't have many flaws or that many features for that matter. Unless you count that your body is well toned to some extent of being between a Earth Pony and a Pegasi.

'You're kinda cute when you sleep'

So in a sudden heat of the moment, she gives you a quick peck on the lips. Sneakily stealing away your first kiss. Which in hindsight you would never know that you lost. Now thinking the deed was done, she stares at you for a bit more before turning her head back to settle on her pillow.

It was then when she shuffled about right behind you that your body took an unexpected turn. And you ended up hugging Pinkie from behind. Your hooves holding her close as she let out a faint moan. Her face started glowing and her breathing shallowed. As if that wasn’t enough to get her blushing madly, you took this unconscious opportunity to stick your muzzle right into her mane. Giving it an unconscious sniff, you started to nuzzle it affectionately.

And that left Pinkie panting. “Spiced…Spice…please…stop…”

Chapter 9 - Full sensory overload...

Chapter 9 – Full sensory overload... [2/2]

...remember these words.

Everyone knows that a cuddle once in a while with your special someone is definitely the best. Not that you’re wishing anything more or less from this gesture. But it is the principle of the thing. By cuddling, it shows that you care.

So at present, you are affectionately entangled with a mare. But let us not get too hasty here.

You are, at the moment, unconscious. Reason for said unconsciousness, the mare you are hugging right now. And her reaction, downright...asleep?! So it looks like nothing happened. But that is not what Mrs. Cake thought when she came up to check up on you two.

“Pinkie? Spiced Tea? Are you two alright? Umm...are you two...decent?”

“I told you dear, I had a feeling that Spiced Tea would be the colt to sweep her off her hooves”

“Oh shush you, I think they are just calmly reading a book...” she wanted to finish that. Oh how she wanted to finish her words.

“Honey what is the matter, it looks like a cat has got...your...tongue...” he wanted to finish that. Oh how he wanted to finish his words.

Sure, finding two ponies together in a bed may look strange. Okay, it would look so weird that the implications of what happened here might surface. If by chance that you are just two friends, then it would look like they might have fallen asleep. But two complete strangers, on a bed together, asleep in each other’s embrace. Might ring a couple of alarms for sure but seeing that and the bed covered in wet stains.

Okay that looks just like what it looks like, especially when a fallen tube of lotion conveniently rolled out from under the bed.

They started to whisper to each other “Dear, do you want to take the kids out to the park today?”

“Y-Yeah, I think that is for the best.”

“Yeah”

“Do you want to take the day off as well? Y’know, close the shop early?”

“That sounds like a great idea”

“...”

“...”

“I’ll get the kids...”

“I will close the shop...”

Both in agreement, they turned around and planned to set off from the bakery. Having the oven and spatula earned a momentary rest for the entire day. As they were set to pick up their children on the second floor, Mrs Cake just had to speak her mind.

“If he breaks her heart, I will bake her his”

Your senses start to return to you. Your feeling starts to make sense of the world around you.

But you have this internal checklist, a ritual so to speak. If by any chance you know that you have been awake previous to your unconsciousness means that something has happened. So you start off with the item on your list...err ritual.

You now start with your sense of touch. Basically you check for pain or discomfort, which you did not find any. You also took the time to feel anything else out of place. And all you got was comfort, soft comfort. As well as telltale signs of warmth, like someone else’s body heat.

Another thing to note is the feel of moist patches on your pelt and the numbness of your forelegs.

You then move on to your scent. As the previous day, your nose noticed more detail than you could have imagined. So taking a good solid whiff, your head exploded with flavour. Not that scents are discerned by flavour of course. But what hit you is a melody of different scents, each working together as a whole. The major of the scent was strawberries, like the smell you get from picking them fresh. Another part was sugar and bread. These two were not much recognizable as the strawberries but they flowed out just the same.

Two senses down and three more to go, which gives you the impression that you are not dead nor in any danger. Or that you have been placed in a bread pan and is currently baking in a oven, nah.

Now onto your sense of hearing which takes you by surprise. As all you hear is breathing. Two sets both breathing in alternating rhythms of each other. You can also hear a faint heartbeat which goes to say that you are not alone.

This one is funny for sure. No one in their right mind would do a check on their sense of taste, seriously. But since you are not right of mind, you did it anyways. You gently open your mouth, finding out if anything would fall freely in. All you got was cloth so you started again. But only this time, you moved your head forward towards the warmth, with your mouth open. You get the picture. Anyway, you got yourself a mouthful of...cotton candy. Well you think its cotton candy as it tastes sweet but does not exactly melt in your mouth.

So now that the minor four senses are out of the way, you then realized that in your current form have gained an extra sense, magic. So seeing as it is the perfect time to test out a basic spell Luna taught, you got to work straight away. You send minor pulses of your soul into your horn. Focusing on how they resonate, you give yourself a once over as the spells target. And its feedback gives your body a green light as nothing is amiss. So then you turn the spells target outwards, in a sensing manner like a scanner. You happen to feel faint pulse quite similar to a heartbeat. But heartbeats don’t glow pink in your mind, no. This is an unnatural pulse but it does not frighten you in anyway.

This pulse feels like a living thing. It emanates this pure sense of calmness and innocence. It feels warm and inviting and made you feel aloof. This pulse makes you...laugh.

So with a little chuckle, you open your eyes only to find yourself in a full sensory overload. And overload of pure, unadulterated vivacious pink. Face to face with a solid mass of inevitable mass of cuddly pink. That is just going too far in the description though.

Now that you have the full picture, you see the situation: you slept with Pinkie Pie.

At an extreme twist of luck you find her asleep, her face right up to your own. Her expression is but of innocence, like when you first met Derpy. But Pinkie is emanating a different innocence, a childish purity as it were. Whatever this feeling was, it made it hard to VOLUNTARILY snuggle with the pink party pony, which you did.

So upon gaining control over your forelegs, you willed them to wrap around her waist, pulling the puffy pink pony into a warm embrace. Having her body heat mingle with your own makes you feel warm and fuzzy. And this hug gave you something unexpected, well maybe expected but something that you never thought you would hear. You got a small affectionate coo out of her. That meant your pull woke her up, but that did not stop you into diving your head into nuzzling her.

As you furthered your ministrations, Gummy took this chance to hop onto the bed. Gummy crawled over to the front of Pinkie, giving you a comfortable view from over her shoulder to face him. Looking at you as you caressed his master. And somewhat he gave you this look of:

‘Have you seen the light of my mistress as well?’

“Yes I have, your mistress is a very nice pony. I just don’t know how blacked out and onto this bed though.” And seeing as you actually replied to the blank croc, you mused that you would never get a reply from a creature that does not talk.

‘Mistress is saddened that you did not introduce yourself to her. She thought it be wise to ambush you here.’

Okay this is getting weird but what the heck.

“Why would your mistress want to ambush me if I was not able to meet her at all?”

‘She told me many a time that she loves to make friends with the other denizens of this land. She believed that any newcomer her should desire sustenance and would come here to gather some. And in turn, she would have met you and prepared a feat in your name.’ Gummy turned to face you then face Pinkie, signifying that he knows she only meant well.'

“Okay, she wanted to become friends with me, I get that. But that did not explain why I was out of it and on her bed…with Pinkie.”

‘It was not mistress’ desire to harm you. All she wanted was time but it had shown itself. Rather, you have given her an opportunity to exploit. And in doing so, she has bludgeoned you with the wonderful skillet. But it also given her quite a scare after’ the green lizard faced to the far corner of the room, almost pointing towards an iron skillet. The skillet nearly hidden under the pile of confetti, save for its heart shaped marked that stood out.

“What do you mean by I scared her when she knocked me out?”

‘She might have entertained a notion. When she spoke of her triumph and how her plan is starting its fruition. She might have mentioned how you looked similar to a corpse. She dismissed it briefly when she brought you over to her bed. Besides her ulterior motives, she still needed to address your injuries.’

“So what went wrong when she was trying to patch me up? I don’t think I talk in my sleep”

‘It was actually what she did not find when you lay across the mattress. Your injuries nonexistent which in turn gave her quite a scare, therefore her mention of murder might have given her an impression.’

“Alright that explained me on the bed. But my injuries are gone you say. How is that so but before that, why is your master on the bed with me” you press the lizard for dire information but you failed to realize Pinkie’s consciousness starting to come around.

‘For your lack of physical harm I know not of. But perhaps there is something about you but I will not linger upon that thought. You seem like a wonderful pony. As for the reason mistress has decided to lie on her bed, I might guess that she is fatigued. She spent many nights to formulate her plan neither resting nor sleeping. And since there was nowhere to rest comfortably, her bed might have given her the temptation needed to approach whilst you were on.’

“So she was just tired. But if you do mind me asking, which is a little absurd talking to a lizard, no offense. Did anything happen between us? Some sort of scuffle maybe?”

‘As for what happen, I am a reptile who respects others privacy. So if you would excuse me, I have a tube of ointment and a bottle of lotion to tend to. They do give me some entertainment. But let me ask you this, how do you feel about my mistress? After all she has done, she meant no ill towards you, what are your thoughts on this?’

“You know what….umm Gummy. I feel okay with it because I am not one to judge others intentions. As long as I am alright and she is too, then everything is totally fine.”

All he gave in response was a small reptilian yawn. And with that, Gummy jumped off the bed. A sound of metal hitting wood signalled that Gummy might have found his playthings.

But without having to realize, all this time Pinkie had listened to your one-sided dialogue with her pet gator. Her eyes never meeting your gaze, making you think she was asleep this entire time. And that entire time, you kept her close to you.

“…So…your totally fine with happened. I mean are you okay with me bonking you out cold?”

“You heard all that huh?”

She raised her head to face yours, her expression looking a bit troubled.

“Did you mean what you said…that everything is totally fine?”

“Well yeah but I am slightly upset that you went through all this just to get back at me for not introducing myself earlier. And I myself find that very selfish of you”

“So you mean that you are not mad at me and you won’t be breaking up our friendship?”

“Well considering that there was no friendship in the beginning. I would like to treat this moment as an acquaintanceship. So yes, I am not mad and yes I would love to be your friend Ms. Pinkie”

And that was all it took for Pinkie to give you the deadliest hug imaginable. A hug so strong and so potent, you would literally be putty by the time the hug ceased. Leaving you both gasping for air and oddly Pinkie seemed a little flushed. But she gave you the brightest smile that could deflect any sort of suspicion directed at her.

It is like she wanted something more perhaps?

But you sir, are a man…er pony of detail. You took hint at the thought that bothered Pinkie. And it was this one thought that could have gone without mention. So taking the initiative, you decided to get this out of the way as soon as possible.

You breathe deep “Ms. Pinkie before we get any further. I think we need to talk about what happened on this bed. Seeing is you might have some recollection…so I just wanted to ask…what happened between us?”

Pinkie on one hoof gave it her all to restrain the blush that wanted to rule over her face. On the other hoof though, she knew what you were talking about. She too rather decided to leave this topic untouched. But since you started, she too agreed on your logic to get this thing out of the way as possible. But she also wanted to have this topic hidden, as this is the only guilty pleasure she might have for the rest of her life. And she wanted to savour it as much as she can.

Still armed with a smile she starts “W-Well…w-w-we that is t-to say I-I…you…”

Okay, she stammers. Totally obvious that she does not want to continue. Rather she wants to continue but the event may be too traumatic or that is to say to sensual for her to mention. But she pushes through anyway. So taking a pause and a need breath, she starts again and this time she watches her speech.

“Well, when I started, well that is to say when you I bonked you in the head or after I bonked you in the head. I umm dragged your body over to the bed-”

You interject by placing a hoof over her mouth.

“Sorry but your pet Gummy already covered that. About getting bonked and how you thought you killed, which I would say is pretty hilarious. But seriously Ms. Pinkie I need to know, did anything happened in this bed that I should know about” and with that, you let your hold over her mouth.

“First off it is just Pinkie and second…nothing actually happened.”

“Okay so then tell me, why are you blushing mad like a tomato”

“Well, after lying right beside you. You moved suddenly and you had me in your forelegs. And I could not move at all…and…and you started to umm…you know”

“That does not sound like nothing”

“IT’S NOT NOTHING!”

Her sudden outcry took you off guard. And Pinkie too realized what she did/

“Did I...I mean to say did we-”

“NO! No it is nothing like that”

“What was it then?”

‘I-I mean…it is just that nothing really happened. It is just that, you cuddled me that’s all but…”

“But what Pinkie?”

“…but it made me feel funny. It felt like the time I drank all those bottles of sarsaparilla. All the bubbly tingly bubbles moving around inside me...giving me this happy feeling but without the puking at the end…”

You just smile at her ongoing hit and miss descriptions. She is still trying her best on describing how it felt. Although you already know what she means, you just did not have the heart to stop her in the middle of her rant. But you know you have to stop this soon or you both would not get anywhere.

“Are you sure we didn’t...you know-”

“I am sure!” she shied away for a bit, trying to collect herself before facing you once more “I can’t explain this feeling...”

“Pinkie, I think I know what you mean” so taking this moment to finally depart from her bed, you let her go and stood up on all fours. Giving her a glace while you give your limbs cursory checks. “You never had anypony hug you like that?”

“I give and receive many hugs from my friends like Twilight, Fluttershy-“

“What I mean is…do you have any special someone that gave you this feeling”

“Well, that would make you the first one that did so, why?”

“How do I put this…I was cursed with something on my travels and I think it has something to do with how you feel about me right now. I mean that is necessarily a bad thing, no. What I mean is-“

“Oh so you were cursed by a mean old witch pony who has been living for a hundred or so years. And has cursed you to become her love slave for all eternity but then you escaped her clutched but failed to have the curse broken. So now you are still cursed and the side effect of this curse is that it causes females around you to act and feel all funny and they fall madly in love with you?”

“If you put it all that way, you are right on the nose”

“Hahahahaha! That is just silly, everypony knows that witches don’t exist. Well my friend Zecora is a kind of witch, but she is a witch doctor and she makes all these fine potions and stuff. She is really cool, I hope you get to meet her-GASP!”

“What?!”

“Ohmygosh!ItotallyforgottogiveyouawelcomepartybutsinceIalreadymetyouIthinkitshouldbefairforeveryponytomeetyouandwewillhavesomuchfunand…”

Ladies and gentlemen, the original topic has left the building.

It took you almost the entire morning to convince Pinkie to let you go. Which she did of course, but by the time she did so it was almost sundown. Which is fine of course as you wanted to rest this entire day anyway, but that is where you are wrong. It seems as there is a catch to your timely release from Sugarcube corner.

“And where do you think you’re going Mr Smarty Pants?”

“Huh?”

And there Pinkie stood, behind you as you holding a pile of invites. And there you are standing by the backdoor of the bakery; you barely opened the door before she called out to you.

“Yes?” you say even if you are hesitant to answer.

“Do I get a goodbye hug?”

“A what now?”

“Never mind. Here, you forgot this” she pushes you a paper bag.

“What is in this?”

“It some goodies I made. I gave you enough to last you till this Friday”

“What is happening this Friday?”

“You go back here and order more, silly!”

“But isn’t Friday tomorrow?”

“Yeah”

So you open up the paper bag that Pinkie gave you. You find the bag filled with that scrumptious vanilla almond crumble puff pastry and some other delectable goodness made by her.

“So, what are you doing today? Wannna go with me and buy some supplies. Why not let me show you around town. I know anypony and everypony in Ponyville.”

“Well I certainly have nothing to do today since I am practically new here. And I think by the time I get home I’ll just laze around.” You say as both of you head out through the backdoor, Pinkie diligently locking it so that nopony would ever think of breaking in. “But are you sure there are some establishments open at this time? I’m sure many of the shops here would be closing by now.”

“You’ll see, now come on! If we hurry, we could get the closing hour discount”

“This is the bazaar market. Usually this place would be jam packed with all kinds of ponies. Well except for zombie ponies because everypony knows that zombies love the night. Well anyway as you can see around you, even if its night and some ponies would love to go home at rest and stuff. Many of the bazaar market stalls transform into theses cool looking night market. So anything that others would not want to sell in the morning would sell at night…”

The first stop would be the town’s main source of business and income, the very neighbourhood your house resides. The bazaar market, as Pinkie mentions, is open all week. And every stall you pass, Pinkie gets to purchase some weird looking produce. There are some stranger looking goods that come in expertly sealed bottles and boxes she buys, sure. But as the designated newcomer and unfortunate pack mule, whatever she gets her hooves on adds to your distress.

“This here is Stirrup Street where all resident and local shop owners reside. Though most of the shops close at night, some are open all night. We only have two bars here in Ponyville. One of them is your typical bar but the other is where most ponies that enjoy the nightlife go. It usually is an endless party there, though most ponies get sick and start puking after a couple of drinks, but it is a good thing that Princess Luna gave out this pretty cool law that prohibits any pony from over drinking or else they will be sent to Canterlot for…”

Now she tours you around the main artery of the town. Basically the street is filled with your basic shops and services that are convenient to reach for everypony. Sugarcube corner and Town hall reside here.

“And here is my other favourite and most spectacular store of all stores. I go here if I run low on party favors or if I don’t have any prank items to go pranking. Do you love pranking, I sure hope so. Because me and Dashie are the town’s prime prankers so you best be ready with whatever we dish out in a short amount time…”

“Here is Ponyville park. Do you see that big clamshell looking thing back there? That is where the local musicians and artists go when they need to let of some steam. There was this one time a whatchamaycallit-big-time-pianist went totally haywire over this guitarist and they totally battled it out. I never seen that amount of flying chairs in my whole life. And there was this one time…”

You are now at the park, enough said. Because it is common sense what a park is for, so there is no need to expound that topic any further than whatever story Pinkie is trying to remember. Aside from her non-stop jibber jabber, she really is a nice pony. But what was not welcome was the fact that you are still carrying her groceries.

“This road leads you to the towns pride and a pretty cool place to hang out when you’re in need of a lot of apples. The place is called S-“

“Sweet Apple Acres”

*GASP!*

And with that gasp, she rushes up to your face, knocking her packages off your magic grasp. All she is doing now is staring at you with a surprised grin.

“How do you know about Sweet Apples Acres? Are you some sort of psychic pony?”

“Well I kind of met this stallion of the road heading here. His name I think is Big Macintosh”

“We just call him Big Mac”

“Okay, well I met Big Mac and he kind of told me about his farm and what they do there. So I suppose I know of the place a bit before even arriving.”

“So what have you been doing before heading here? Oh never mind, why don’t you save that story for later, ‘kay?”

“Uhh okay I guess…”

“Great!”

“Do you mind if we stop by the post office on the way back?” and with that she used her greatest weapon. A weapon so potent it renders the target helpless against it: the puppy pout.

“...Gah!...Okay you win...”

“Yay!”

You are officially tired. No scratch that, you are about to die of exhaustion. Wait, that sounds too dramatic. You are worn out I guess? Yeah that’s it, you are worn out.

You spent your afternoon and evening with Pinkie Pie. Roaming around town, introducing you to the sights and sounds. Sure she may be a little rowdy and very eccentric for your tastes, but who isn’t? Especially when you are living and working in a bakery that deals in insane amounts of sugar, tell me who hasn’t had the urge to go sugar crazy in that sense. But you have to admit, she did give you a great tour. And you wouldn’t be surprised if you asked her for another one any time soon.

But then again, a tour around town would also be enjoyable alone with the sense of discovery.

So it was getting a little late and you are sure that you could use a breather after levitating all that foodstuffs and knickknacks. It was decided that you escort Pinkie back and after all you are a gentlecolt. And to both your surprise, Sugarcube remained closed. So it looks like the Cakes are not back yet. They must be having a great time I guess, though you wonder why they closed shop early today.

Maybe they decided it’s a great day for family, don’t you think.

So now that Pinkie’s back at her apartment at you’re about near reach of your house. You take this time to reflect upon something that has bugged you a little while back.

‘Did I kiss her?’ many thoughts soon follow this.

And with that in mind, you make way to your now beloved house. What is interesting really is the fact that houses here don’t actually have many locks on their doors. The ponies here must be disciplined or something to have them scared for trespassing. Maybe a strict law made by the two sisters perhaps?

You pay it no thought as you enter through the back, as it’s easier to access the kitchen this way. Because you having those tasty baked goods Pinkie gave you. Since these have cream in them, that means they are easy to spoil. And so you placed the good filled paper bag into the fridge as you went past the kitchen.

And as that is done, now you have some free time to yourself before cleaning up and hitting the proverbial hay.

“What to do, what to do?”

A cursory glance around you shows that your house is a mess. And why is that? It is because of yesterday’s magical mishap with the orb and the princesses. And the room that took the most damage is obviously your study. And since its part of your ‘to do list’, you decide to spend the rest of the night sorting out the mess and the individual boxes in it. The living room can wait for tomorrow anyways.

“This is easier said than done. Jeez” well it seems as though your initial look-see gave you problems. The mess is bigger than you anticipated. “Why not just dust and clean, that shouldn’t be too hard”

And so after a good solid hour of dusting and cleaning, you finally spent all your reserves. Which is good as it is not that late for a good night’s sleep. So with whatever strength you have left, you haul your sorry ass out the room and into the bath for clean up. That is until one of your hindhooves hit the all forgotten crystal ball on the floor. Just hit tour hoof and not hurt it.

It is just then you remembered the original use of the crystal ball.

Chapter 9 intermission - Tea

Chapter 9 intermission – Tea?

“Make doubly sure Sergeant that the pantry is secured for the night. Please do notify Shining Armor of the recent development, as he is still your commanding officer. And please send in the royal alchemists as you leave. Dismissed!”

“Yes princess!”

The night barley starts and already she is feeling rather fatigued.

Resting in one of the observation rooms of the royal palace, Princess Luna sits there contemplating while drinking her tea.

“Princess, you have summoned us?”

She took a sip from her obsidian tea set. The tea, ever so mildly steeped but extremely sweet.

“Yes, we ask that before you all retire for the day, that you would give us a full inventory of the alchemic stocks and reagents.”

“As you wish princess, but if you do mind me asking, what do you need the list for?”

“Just a little precaution, for I do not want last night’s issue with the castle taken hostage by Celestia to happen again. She might have used most of the tranquilizers and sedatives from the alchemic stocks to produce her drugs. And I want to find out what they were, if she indeed acquired it from your stock room. ”

“We will get right upon it as soon as we depart for our room princess, if you would excuse us.”

“Carry on then...”

And with that, the princess is yet again alone. Save for the royal guard outside in the hall, her personal guard nowhere to be seen, that is she dismissed them early for tonight. She knew full well what the night guard experienced when Celestia got her hooves on them. Heck even the entire castle staff that night was either drugged or gagged. In any case, most have been let off for a night or two to undergo some therapy.

“I think I shall give Stalwart Brigand and his platoon a year end bonus...” she told no one in particular as she sips her tea.

At the very least, this night has been uneventful. That is because Celestia is still out cold since yesterday which is thanks to Luna’s new found move called the sleeper hold. But you can’t really call it a new found if she recently watched it on TV a few weeks back. And even if that move was the very reason she has note regained consciousness, the major drawback to that was Luna had to raise the sun and moon until her sister recovers.

At least she is experiencing what Celestia went thru.

As of short term problems, Luna is currently missing her obsidian crown.

*white noise*

“...ello...prin...una...celes...yo....ere?”

The crystal ball that Luna had installed comes to life. Though the reception might be off, it’s nothing a little magic boost can’t fix. A glow here and a resonance fix there and the ball works.

“Hi Princess!”

“Hello Spice, and please call me Luna. I assure you that we are alone”

“Okay then…Hi Luna!”

“Much better…So my student how are things working out for you? Does your body hurt from yesterday’s lesson?”

“Student?”

“Yes, you are my student. If my sister has her own personal protégé then why should I? Is there a problem with that?”

“Will you be administering tests or something like that?”

“I might but would not give too much. You are still adjusting and you might not be able to complete the tests. So would you mind if I take you under my wing as my pupil?”

“Not at all. I think it is wise for me to have a mentor because, pardon the pun, I am practically flying blind”

“Pardoned”

“Well anyway, I was kind of groggy and a tad bit lethargic but all in all, I feel crappy but doing a hundred percent”

“Very good to hear”

“Umm Luna, may I ask you something?”

“Please, if you have anything to ask, you have my permission to say anything”

“…”

“…yes?”

“Well you see, I met this pony. And something happened and she noticed something”

“Okay, do tell about this ‘something’”

“Before that, are you aware of the establishments here in Ponyville? I remember you saying something along the lines of sharing your time with Derpy”

“My sister and I take some time off from our duties. We tend to linger around Ponyville because it is the only place that would not treat us like royalty but as common ponies. And it reminds me of how life was back then. As for my sister, she just enjoys the company of a few slices of cake from Sugarcube corner. Have you been there?”

“Yes and incidentally Sugarcube Corner has something to do with this pony I met up with”

“Let me guess, you met Pinkamena Diane Pie?”

“She is that obvious huh?”

“She has that effect on ponies. You should have seen her when I arrived in Ponyville for a second time. It was during the Nightmare Night festival that she made an impression. It became somewhat of a challenge to assimilate myself into modern pony society with her appearing at key moments. She is also the expert in mass hysteria and group panic ”

“She can do that?”

“I have experienced it first hoof”

“Okay, so then what is Nightmare Night?”

“Oh forgive me…umm it is this festival of sorts that celebrates my…forsaken form, so to speak”

“If you don’t want to talk about it princess, I can understand if it is a touchy subject”

“No, not at all Spice. It is just that I cannot fully explain this date to you. The festival has things to do with all manners of spooky things. I recall you humans having a similar celebration…Halloween is it not?”

“Halloween…scary things huh? I guess we have similarities after all”

“There are some similarities for certain. But many things here you’ll find that they are run by magic. Some towns run on…what is it called again…electricity? Well in any rate, you will just have to explore. I will leave how you do so is up to you. Unless you are in need of some supplies, I could happily grant you any if you do so wish.”

“Will ask if it comes to it Luna, thank you.”

She gives a nod. It is a good thing that the crystal ball offers audio and video.

“So then princess back to the topic, if that is alright with you”

“Please drop the formalities Spice, we are alone. Just treat me as you would a close friend, yes?”

“Alright, well here is the thing. When I got to Sugarcube corner, I kind of hit my muzzle and my nose starts bleeding. Then a few moments later, Pinkie offered to aid my wounds. That is until she hit me at the back of my head with her skillet”

“Are you alright!?”

“Well that is the thing, I am alright. More than alright I’m afraid”

“That sounds wonderful. But why must you fear your uninjured state?”

“Well that is the thing Luna. My injuries were no longer present when Pinkie tried to treat them. It was like they miraculously healed or that they never even existed at all. It was so mysterious that it even got Pinkie frightened and crying”

“Curious, very curious”

‘Instantaneous healing…regeneration?’

“Spice, did you take note on area that was afflicted felt all…what was the word you use for it...tingly, as you said”

“Haven’t really noticed it Luna, I was somewhat unconscious when that happened”

“Never mind then, I shall look into it later as I have some free time before I hold the night court.”

“Alright…”

“…”

“…”

“…so Spice, tell me what happened during that meet with Pinkie Pie?”

“How shall I put it, before or after my visit into limbo?”

“During and after if that is fine with you”

“The after I could tell you straight out but during would be a mystery to me. I could never get a straight answer out of Pinkie Pie every time I ask her.”

“How so?”

“Well she would start blushing and then she would start talking with unrelated topics. And if I ever get her cornered or something, then I end up with a muffin in my mouth. Which I might add are incredibly awesome!”

“Have you done something that you might remember? Like say talk in your sleep or any involuntary action that your body might have done.”

“Umm…I don’t know what you mean.”

“As I heard from my sister’s pupil, Pinkie Pie is a very open and outgoing pony. Whatever you have done voluntarily or involuntarily is cause for her silence which is out of character of her. Can you think on anything, anything at all that would cause her or any pony to act as such?”

“None that I can think off. Maybe I did but is there anyway to find out for sure. Like magic or something?”

“there might be a way but it is far to advanced for anypony-”

*yawn*

“I think it best for you to retire for the night Spice. I will notify you if anything comes”

“Alright then Prin-Luna. Well it looks like I have to rest, so this is Spiced Tea signing out. Heheheheheh!”

“Aha! A space pony reference, very good. At least you have assimilated some trend of our culture yes?”

“Not exactly, I am just signing off. I thought it would be the right thing to say with using things like this.”

“You mean like a radio, yes?”

“Something like that…alrighty princess. Good Evening to you”

And with that, the ball took on some static and white noise before fading into silence, leaving Princess Luna to finish the rest of her tea.

“So what did he talk about?”

“Oh Celly, how was your rest?”

“I had worse, but it is definitely an improvement over exhaustion”

“Tea?”

“Two cubes, please”

“Will you be heading into the dreamscape later?”

“Yes, I am intrigued about Pinkie’s sudden out of character”

“Really?”

“Yes…”

“Well go on then, tell me what he told you. I share my students’ friendship reports and I recall hearing you took him as your student. So spill Lulu…”

“I will, don’t worry I will. We will go over it with tea and as we enjoy this cake”

“Good”

“Slice?”

“Big one please!”

Chapter 10 - Maybe it’s the suit...

Chapter 10 - Maybe it’s the suit...

Chapter 10 – Maybe it’s the suit... [1/5]

It is morning and the time, half past breakfast.

“At least the toilet works”s

Which is makes for good luck. Having spent a couple of days on the road, you indeed appreciate nature for its lack of toilet paper. But at least the trail mix and the fruits you brought along made for good bowel movement. Sarcasm and actual fact aside, having and owning a toilet makes for good company.

Well that is easy for you to say after eating the entire bag of desserts Pinkie gave, sure. Tasty they are but the amount of cream they contained did wonders to your colon. You decide then to test your toilet to find that it indeed works. You also give the bathroom a spritz of some cologne you found from the leftover stuff, just in case.

So now having cleaned up the dinner table, you realize you have nothing to do.

Well maybe you do. The standing tasks at the moment are to meet up with Twilight Sparkle. And the other is to find a job. Anything else in between would be gathering up some supplies and exploring the rest of the town. Even though Pinkie Pie did tour you around, however you feel that it would do you some good to at least go around and experience the town by yourself. The market seems like a good place to start.

Who knows, you might be lucky enough to stumble upon some bacon. But you don’t think it would happen anytime soon. Unless should a carnivorous species decide to sell their wares in the market today. Some ham would be nice.

Now that you decided upon today’s course of action, you begin to ready yourself. Preparing your bit purse you gave yourself a good look over, making sure that you look presentable and smell nice. All the while you thought of the things you would do if you ever found some semblance of any deli related particulars. You chuckle at the thought of acquiring a good slab of bacon. It will be glorious!

Giddy like a school foal you hurry yourself out the house, making sure to grab a coupon or two for the bakery. To your surprise as you open the door, there stood Derpy with a mailbag on her back and a small unicorn atop her head. The foal lseems cautious yet she is beaming with confidence and security that she is with her mother today.

“Morning!”

“Ha’wo!”

“Good morning as well Derpy. And hello to you little one, you must be Dinky”

“How did you know my name mister?” the little foal asks as she fixes herself back up her mom’s head.

“Your mom here is quite proud; she told me all about you”

“I like him momma, he’s nice. Don’cha think so momma?”

“I know he is muffin” she gives her child a smile then faces you with a smile as well.

“Thank you little one”

“You’re welcome!”

“So Derpy, what do I owe your lovely presence today?” this comment received a great blush from the mailmare. Her daughter was slightly suspicious but all the same flattered that her mom is being praised for being beautiful and nothing else.

“Well, you received priority mail last night, it came straight from the Palace Post. It also came with a request.” she rummages thru her mailbag and retrieves a scroll with two seals, one dark blue and the other golden yellow. She also hoofs you a clipboard with an attached quill on it. “You need to sign this. The request stated to have your postal status upgraded. So now you have your own locker box back at the post office.”

“Thanks for the delivery then but I did not request a postal upgrade”

“Don’t worry about, the requestor already went and gone thru the process. All you need is to sign that so I can give you your key”

“If you say so” you tell her just as you sign the form, reading it a bit just to make sure. “So that means all my mail goes to the box then?”

“No-no, most mail is regularly sifted for us couriers to deliver by hoof. They are your typical regular and priority mail addressed to you; some packages that could be delivered physically go thru the same process. But postal boxes, like the one you have now, are reserved for mail that are directly addressed to the box or any package that could not be delivered by courier”

“This one time, momma was asked to bring this huge package. But this violet lady was mad because momma was late. It was not momma’s fault that the box was big” the unicorn filly starts to move her arms, gesturing on how big the box was.

“Well that means I should not order big boxes, so that your mom would have an easier time, right?”

“Right”

“It is no problem at all on how big the box is. I have a job after all”

“But I already promised your daughter here. I can’t do anything about it but pick those big boxes myself. I would be much of a stallion if I don’t carry big boxes, right Dinky?”

“Right!”

“Well then, I suppose I should thank you in advance.”

“It is my pleasure”

“But don’t be picking up most of your mail now, I still have a job do to.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it Derpy”

Just as Derpy was about to thank you, Dinky thought it would be a great idea to slip into her mom’s mailbag rummaging around as if she was looking for a specific item.

“Dinky!”

And right before she was about to pull her foal out by the tail, Dinky pops her head out in a way would remind you of a gofer sticking out a hole. Her hooves hold on to the rim of her bag as she gives you a maroon envelope with your cutie mark on it.

“Hir y’go” Dinky tried saying it clearly as possible but her voice muffled by the envelope in her mouth.

“What have you got there?”

“I almost forgot! I was supposed to give this to you and was asked to give this as soon as I arrived. How clumsy of me”

You carefully magic the envelope out of Dinky’s mouth, giving her a small pat on the head in thanks for the envelope. And her mother gave her a loving nuzzle for remembering the envelope. After that brief nuzzle, Dinky took to her moms head once more. Clearly this kid loves her mom so much, the amount of love these two shares is delightful.

“So who is it from?”

“This particular envelope has a privacy clause on it. So...” Derpy gestures a zipping motion atop her lips, giving you the impression that this letter was given in a sworn oath of secrecy to administer

“...momma can’t tell you which pony sent you that letter. She said it is a secret”

“A secret huh?” you say as you inspect the front and back it. It indeed had your cutie mark on its front. The entirety of the envelope is simple enough save for the golden filigree near its edges.

“So why don’t you open it Spice. We’re curious about what it says”

“Open, open!”

“Okay” you say as you fumble around into opening the envelope. Though you are already using your magic to hold on to it, why not use it right? So you magic the flap open and slide out a simple looking card. It says:

‘Be here at 7:00 PM sharp!’

“Huh...that’s all she wrote I guess.” You say as you put the envelope away. As much as you enjoy solving a few puzzles and mysteries, the envelope is vague.

“Well I think that is great advice, don’t you muffin?” Derpy says as she looks up to her daughter, giving her a suspicious, brief wink.

“Yup!” Dinky cheerily said as she bit on a muffin that she attained mysteriously. The little one taking great strides in making sure she does not crumb up her mother’s head.

“Wait what?”

“Muffin, it seems as we ran out of, well, muffins. So why don’t we go to the bakery and get some”

“Yay! Can I get Banana Nut muffin, momma? I’ve already done all my homework”

“Sure you can! So Spiced Tea, here is your key to your mail locker and have a great day, see you later”

“Bye Bye!”

“Umm...Bye I guess”

And not another word more, mother and daughter left to the promise of yummy muffins. And that leaves you staring into nothing in particular with a key in hoof. If anypony were to notice you now, it would have looked like you were dumped by your girlfriend...umm marefriend. That would be a more appropriate term, you are part of another species now after all.

Although being dumped is a too familiar feeling that you wish you could do without in this place. At least the company here is fine, right?

“It looks ta me like y’seen a ghost or somethin” said an all too familiar voice.

You shake your head a couple of times before placing the cryptic envelop of yours into your door’s mail slot. Upon completing that you then face the big red stallion who is hauling a half full cart. You give him a chuckle before responding.

“Something like that. You sure took your sweet time in Canterlot Big Mac”

He chuckled “Ah saw this ‘ere book sale and Ah just had t’get some. Y’never know if y’need a copy of ‘1001 recipies for Apples, Peaches and Oranges’ or ‘A Gentlecolts guide to dapper hats’. Ah thought they might be good reads”

Big Mac motions you to follow him and so do you . Probably heading to Sweet Apple Acres to deposit his belongings and what not, he might need the company. This might give you the opportunity to explore the country side a bit more. You could not do so yesterday with Pinkie Pie, as it was getting dark and you turned pack mule to her supplies. At least this time you have a bit of freedom.

And from the impression Big Mac gave you on the road, he might be a better tour guide. He looks the part of the silent working whose mental acuity is well overshadowed by his facade. So his silence makes for a very good equalizer from Pinkie’s exploding phatic speech.

Wow, that’s deep.

“The recipe book I understand but I don’t think a book about dapper hats would change anything”

“Maybe ya right and maybe you’ll never know if y’need to dress fancy for a refined occasion. Like say a date with a fancy mare or something”

“Like that would happen to me anytime soon”

“You’ll never know if ya don’t try”

You both walk along Stirrup Street. This gives you the chance to glance around at the many establishments that are now in the middle of setting up shop. Many of whom are just about to flip their sign from closed to open. The wares some of which range from the basic commodity to the absurd looking potions and reagents, their shopkeepers giving their wares a good rearrange before the day’s start.

“Did you get any other books that are about something besides hats and fruits?” you ask as you glance at his cart, seeing as there are more under that tarp that he still hasn’t mentioned.

“I got this ‘Discourse on the Philosophy of Logic’, ‘Abstract approach to all things strange, extraterrestrial and occult for ponies’, ‘Myths and Legends volume 9: Humans’, ‘The Modern Ponies guide to Candy Undergarments’, ‘Everyday Elixiers from the Exiting to the Exotic’, PlayColt an PlayMare collection, san’ a couple more books on the such and such. Y’know books to help pass tha time.”

“I picked up that you were a secret intellectual a while back but the later two you mentioned don’t actually fit into scholarly pursuits” you end that with a snicker as you both know that those magazine are indeed ‘scholarly’

“Well you may never know if yer in need subjects for art studies”

And cue laughing like a pack of hyenas.

“Sounds to me like you’re trying to build a library, but I don’t think people would appreciate those magazines out in the open.”

Another chuckle escaped from the red pony as he whisked his now known trademark piece of grass around. “I don’t think so, some of this ‘ere books are for tha library, as Ah kinda promised to bring back some. Twilight knew about tha sale an’ thought that Ah could acquire some for her”

“Is that right?”

“Eeyup”

It felt like you are forgetting something. Something that you just told yourself this morning that feels to be a pressing matter. Oh well.

What you both did not notice is that you two were not alone. In the time that both of you conversed about softcore magazines, a mysterious figure went and approached you, righting himself next to your ear.

“Righteous!”

“AAHH!” you scream along with a magic explosion. Wow...how many jokes can one make from premature conjuration? Well whatever the case, you got knocked out. So whatever that spell was for, it did no such effect to anypony or anything around you.

“Mornin’ Chilly” Funny how Big Mac casually greets this newcomer but you wouldn’t know this because you’re out cold.

“Heeey Mac, how’s Canterlot, got a better deal with the apples? Oh, who’s the new dude? Is he dead?” this blue colt found it interesting to be poking you with a stick. With any luck, candy might pour out of your a-

“Ah think he jus’ faintin’ is all”

“Alright! Give my regards to the new dood.”

“Will do, an stay of tha clover once in a while. You jus’ might keel over one day”

“Don’t worry, I will be chillin like the new dood tonight after I race my cart off caraway’s hill”

“Ah don’t think that’s a good plan. Mah sister hasn’t cleared off tha ditch from tha last barn. An’ Ahm pretty sure there’d be a crater there!”

Too late, it seems as this newcomer, Chilly, had found his resolve to cart down that said hill. Now he is storming away with that cart of his, filled with whatever he could find. Those bags might probably be his clover stash, and that sure is a lot for one pony to smoke.

“Nurse Blueheart ain’t gonna like that one bit...”

Granny Smith matriarch of the Apple family and founder of Ponyville, is whipping up something fierce. You now sit in her kitchen waiting on her to dispense this ‘Apple Family remedy’. Now you know by experience that these family recipes are more or less painful. Strictly speaking more or less painful to your colon or what else have you in your gut. Hence the term gut rot, but your mother raised you well so be polite and drink that poison...er remedy.

Why are you in this situation, well you give yourself a quick recap: You started coughing up blood after you came too. In any time of day would render anyone on their knees in pain trying to crawl for salvation from the hurt. But it is a good thing that a good toss into a cart wouldn’t fix, so at the end Big Mac hauled your sorry ass into the farm proper.

“There ya go sonny! You’ll be as quick as a whip in to time if ya’ll drink that up!”

You were given a glass of a lovely and oddly moving by itself sort of sludge. You swear that it started to acknowledge your presence when you asked it.

“Are you alive?”

Well in any case you have gone bottoms up on the “remedy”. You found it funny just as it started to crawl out of your mouth. It gave you a chocking or drowning feeling when it disliked the idea of going through your digestive track and next morning will become, well, shit.

But at least Big Mac was there to offer whatever support he could give. His support came in a form of a sweet smelling clear liquid in a shot glass.

“Here drink this, it’ll get that thing down yer throat. Trust me, Ah drank that remedy far too much t’count. Especially the mornin’s after”

Still hesitant, you give the shot glass another whiff. It still smells sweet and nothing more, probably some syrup.

“Bottoms up again I guess...”

*gulp*

“GAAHH! My throat...it burns! What is this stuff?!”

“That stuff ya reffering to is Juniper Mead. It ferments red and distills clear but is as sweet as honey an’ can buck ya’ in tha mouth if yer not careful.”

‘Does anypony believe in heads up?’ nope, not really. Especially in a place called Ponyville.

“It is kinda sweet as the heavens but it burns my throat like hell. At least it made the remedy go down smoother. Any longer and I think I would have been the first to die from a remedy”

Big Mac chuckles at this as he puts away the shot glass and the nondescript bottle of Juniper Mead. Making sure that the bottle is properly sealed as he taps the cork. And if that wasn’t enough, he gently taps a wooden panel in the wall and out popped a secret door, revealing to you a well stocked and looks to be an expensive mini-bar. The brief peek at the cache did not last long as Big Mac stored the bottle and shot glass. He gave the lifted panel a slight lift and let it fall flush into the wall, giving it a tap to have its locks engage.

*cough*

“Are you certain I should be drinking liquor after I spouted blood?”

“Eeyup! Tha mead was to kill tha remedy an let it go down smoothly”

“So it was alive. This would be the first time that I witnessed life created out of a pot!”

“Eeyup, but it be best that ya need not tell any other ponies. Some of tha folk here actually drink tha stuff. Can’t make heads of how or why but it be best that Granny does not know about it”

Well, you yourself could not make heads or tails either about that stuff. And knowing that it is already working its magic inside you, whatever that means. And a gurgle or two later like clockwork Big Mac offered you a slice of pie. And you wouldn’t even have guessed that the pie is made of apples and it is steaming, probably came straight from the oven.

Big Mac was in the process of getting the first spoon of his slice of pie into his mouth when-

*knock-knock*

“Hmm?”

“Eckspctng sm-on Bg Macsh?”

“Prob’ly one of them Salesponies again”

Ah salesponies, the common scourge of both Earth and Equestria. Even through several layers of differences of specie, the design of this scourge remains the same. It might be that fedora that they all wear or that dodgy clip-on necktie that seems to be standard, who knows. But what you do know that Big Mac requires luck for the strength not to murder the salespony outright. The look on his face says all about the issue.

‘Maybe it’s the suit...’

But it is such shame though to have a perfectly warm pie grow cold, so you shake off your idle thoughts and place your attention to the pie, whose aroma hit your nose just as you press the spoon into it with your hoof. Giving it a good whiff before lifting the spoonful into your mouth, carefully savouring the cinnamon and apple scent. And it tastes better than it smells too.

“Hello Big Mac, sorry for the bother and I know you just arrived but I need to talk to you about Applebloom” your ears twitch.

Not a salespony, nope. You gave yourself one more spoonful before checking out who the farm pony is talking to at the door. By the sounds of the voice, this mare knows the Apple family as well. Might as well go introduce yourself but you might have a feeling after the weird dialogue from Sunny two days back finds the upcoming greet a landmine. That Sunny aka crazed horny princess of the sun might have something to do with you and mares, and this something might be magic. Whatever.

So upon clearing up the plate, you move on out to the hall way. Giving a left turn you happen across this scene. Big Mac by the door and standing there is a yellow foal with a huge red ribbon and a pink earth mare. The latter explaining something to Big Mac that you couldn’t quite catch. And in effect made the little foal face the floorboards of the porch; a look of shame.

Quite a common sight which you have gone through many yourself, your heart bleeds for the child.

“...so after I broke the scuffle, I found Applebloom and Diamond Tiara giving each other an impromptu leg hold and sleeper lock...” you heard the mare say.

All Big Mac gave was a stern look to the foal that more or less made the foal wince without eye contact. Though it wasn’t the look that said ‘You are in so much trouble’ but it is the more ‘We need to talk later so you can tell me the whole story’.

“...the blame throwing started then after. I had to suspend class early for this. I don’t really know how it started but that scuffle made it look like it was a free for all. I really sorry to be the bearer of this news-“

The mare’s speech was cut short by a sudden outburst from the child. She shouted in blinding fury as the dashed into the house and up the stairs behind you. It looked like she had enough. And again an all too familiar seen but without the animosity you are accustomed to.

“Oh! I’m so sorry Big Mac I didn’t realise you had a guest”

“Eeyup”

Now that you are discovered, you move out of cover. Not that you were in cover mind you but nonetheless move out to meet Big Mac’s guest.

“Don’t worry about it. That scene there reminded me way too much of my childhood myself” you say as you took place between them but before Big Mac ushered the mare inside.

“It is alright I suppose but I fear that this case was more than anything to have Applebloom act this way”

“Eeyup” still talking with his cryptic one liners but oddly so around this company, nervous perhaps?

“What was the cause of it in the first place anyway?” you ask although hesitantly as it is not your place to do so.

“It was another bout of Diamond Tiara teasing her for her lack of a Cutie Mark. But unlike the previous confrontations those girls had, Applebloom decided that a piece of her mind meant a piece of her hoof in the others face”

Big Mac led you both into the living room; the perfect place to discuss a touchy subject without prying ears and curious gossip mongers. But making sure to close the door leading to a back room quietly, as you suspected Granny Smith would be taking her nap.

“Forgive me but I didn’t catch your name?” the mare said as she sat on the couch opposite of the arm chairs you and Big Mac sat on.

“Sorry about that, Spiced Tea, pleased to meet you miss?” you extend your hoof over to her and she gladly shakes it in reply.

“Cheerilee, I'm Applebloom's teacher”

After the brief introduction, the room fell into a comfortable silence. A silence that would describe Big Mac entirely as he strangely found this time to read a book out from his recent acquisitions. But the silence only lasted a minute before Cheerilee spoke up. And yet again you feel this nagging hunch that the white troll of the sun might have done something to you. With Big Mac present, this dialog with Cheerilee would not turn out so bad. Right?

“So, what brings you here to Ponyville? Are you staying for the night or just passing through because Big Macintosh promised some hard cider of his?” she smiles at the red stallion, although never meeting her gaze he lets out a low chuckle. "Seriously Mac, alcohol?"

The red stallion looked up from his book also to reveal he wears reading glasses “In mah own defence, Ah don’t have any cider this month. But Ah already offered him mah personal stash of Juniper Mead” With that said he promptly return to his reading, grinning.

“Is that right?”

You nod in reply “Staying indefinitely, my choice and so far I like it here. Just moved in 3 days ago by Fount square.”

“Really, my house is in that district too. Don’t tell me you’re the one who moved into that two story house with the beautiful windows?” she asked with a knowing stare.

It was like every citizen in Ponyville knows where everypony lives, crazy. But you’ve got to love that!

“The mayor even offered it to me at a lower price. Though I can seem to figure out why most couples that move in tend to move out” knowing that the last three days here, you really never wondered till now: why do couples hate the house. Well not hate but there is something going on that's for sure.

“Some rumours spouted that the house was developed by a nutcase. My students tell me the house is haunted but I believe it is a wonderful house” she said but then she started to blush and fume...hard “But there are times when the house gets a little...rowdy at times. In the late hours of the night, the house seems to...amplify some of the...noise making and well I think that is one reason the house is infamous”

And now she is out right steaming but with a couple of headshakes later it seems that she is back to normal. Over at his chair, Big Mac still reading a book but only this time he switched titles. The last one was ‘Capers, Olives and Cheeses: Guide to cooking in Preece’ and this one is entitled ‘What to do with Onions and how to make something out of them’

Not an engaging bunch of books but it seems to have Big Mac enjoy them so.

“I think the house is alright and it is a good thing that Mayor Mare gave me all the stuff inside that was left by the previous owners. Though I don’t think I have any use for some of the things in those boxes” you say, remembering that last night you discovered that the house has a two story basement as well.

Kind of like those houses with those built in bunkers but yours seems to be filled to the brim with boxes, trunks and lockers of every size. It was also that night that you deemed that you have too much stuff.

"Well, you could always sell them at the Bazaar. And since your new here it would give you the perfect opportunity to meet the townsfolk"

"I can do that? No paperwork or license or anything?"

"Well, all y'need tah do is go to tha town hall an' sign if yer willin to sell somethin. An you also need ta sign for fer a booth or a tent. If ya have a cart or a folding wagon, just haul it in" Big Mac says as he switches to another book.

"Huh? I never thought that it would be easy like that"

"Ponyville has developed itself to be efficient and sufficient town as far as I can remember growing up here" Cheerilee says as she picks up 'Gentleponies guide to Dapper Hats', looking into its contents and book cover.

"Anymore things I should know about? I had someone guide me around town yesterday but it wasn't enough" you enquire before picking up a title for yourself as well, 'Making the Brew: Artform and fuction in brewing beverages'.

"Well, what else do you want to know about? Big Mac and I would be happy to fill you in"

It was then you spent your morning in the Sweet Apple Acres homestead. Chatting away, finding out what there is about the town from special sets of perspective. One silent, secretive intellectual stallion and a cheery, insightful mare. No awkward foul ups of any kind, which makes for this days survival duration to 5 hours since sunrise.

Chapter 11 - Another Day

Chapter 11 - Another day… [2/4]

You ponder a bit to yourself after leaving Sweet Apple Acres. It feels like you are forgetting to do something or meet somepony right now. You shrug it off in hopes of remembering it as you go.

Looking to the sky you notice it’s about noon, seeing you have some time. The cryptic message from this morning reminded you to return home at seven on the dot. As much as you want to wander off, you feel compelled to follow what that message says. Four days of living here has shown that any weird or strange happenings should be treated as common occurrences.

"No matter," you say to no one in particular as you head down an alternate path.

You notice that stallion fellow that took you by surprise being hauled off by some medics in the other direction. One medic, a white mare with a blue cross on her flank, starts scolding this ice-blue stallion. You try and remember his name until you hear the mare speak.

"...Chilly! And another thing: this place is pri..." that was all you could hear before her voice faded.

‘Chilly Mists...strange fellow’ you think as the group made it down the next knoll. "Hmm...." you shrug it off.

You mentioned before you left you wanted a change of scenery before making it to town. So, before heading out the Apple Family household, the teacher approaches. Cheerilee mentions a path that she usually takes. She says that it follows a small creek that leads towards the open fields north of town. She also mentions that this path also leads towards the Everfree Forest which in its name sounds very much ominous.

Princess Luna spoke of some forest near the town which is home to various dangers and oddities. When asked about this, all Princess Celestia said was this:

“Spooky and scary forest, you no enter. Many a danger in there like meat-eating plants. Also monsters with teeth that eat virgins. And that means you. If you want to be safe, I could help with your virginit-*WHAP*”

She told it in such a way that she even had a matching hat and old witch wig for it. But other than Celestia's impromptu speech about the forest, Luna was quite the help to clear the fog that her sister gave your brain, including the uppercut to cease the crazy one’s rambling. Like, for instance, the original castle where they used to live or the shrine that held these artifacts, the Elements of Harmony. She also spoke about other things and adding some facts that might confuse you even more.

She even gave you a book about the surrounding forests and landmarks. Quite handy, that book, though you should have rather called it a tome. Who would have known books that thick are considered light reading?

Still, that does not make you anymore courageous to even tread into that. Well yes, you were thinking of exploring the forest, but your magic's not up to snuff.

It is then, when your thoughts started to trail off, that you happen to notice smoke coming further out from the path. Moving up, you notice one of those beautifully crafted tree houses. It is one of those tree houses with a creek running in front of it with a small hoof bridge to connect this soil to the soil over the next bank. Coming up a little closer, you notice the house having many burrows and birdhouses. There are many animals who scurry along their business to complete the picture of a forest glade.

'Pretty normal' you guess as nothing else is there. Maybe the home is empty for a moment.

Other than the tree house sounding quiet other than animal chatter, the surrounding area looks peaceful and boring. So, you move on. The animals themselves acknowledge your presence but dismiss you just as quickly when you pass by. To strengthen your belief that nothing is of interest, a bellowing roar is heard coming from near that house.

The Everfree seems so peaceful from where you’re standing. Aside from clouds freely moving wherever they choose atop the canopy, the forest itself is still. But looking towards your other side you see Ponyville Park a distance away and further out, the town proper. The town’s clouds are brighter and fluffier than the forest’s, floating idly by over colored houses and their thatched roofs. But you are still a ways away.

You let out a whistle as you behold what is in front of you.

You now look at the forest and the town and both seem surreal. But the latter, Ponyvile, seems artificial compared to the Everfree. Well, not artificial per se the town looks well kept, ideal. It is kind of refreshing to see this compared to the dull greys of the cityscape back on Earth.

The scene reminds you of those paintings and drawings you see in those travel brochures back home. Those always paint a pretty picture of the place they are trying to advertise. But you are not one to believe those unless you have experienced it. You wonder if the book Princess Luna gave you would count as a travel brochure for Equestira.

Maybe not.

The weather, as you read, is handled by the pegasi weather crews and the rest of the town is kept by whatever means and by whatever groups assigned. Most towns and cities here are kept like this. You almost wish that towns and cities back home are kept like this.

Maybe the forest in respect to its namesake is ever-free. It being uninhabited leaves it untended which makes up for being devoid of civilized life.

Which you suppose balances out this picture. You read of some events that include the Everfree. Among these events would be Nightmare Night and the wild weather that drifts from the forest towards any town within reach. Nothing big compared to some of the creatures that tend to linger from the forest and into civilization, which makes Ponyville the town with highest rate in occurring incidences that is related to Everfree.

“Another day…Wonder if it’s true that monsters in there eat virgins,” you say again to no one in particular.

It is then you hear a whistling sound. A high-pitched whistling sound associated to kettles and fast falling projectiles. You do not see anything that would resemble a kettle nor a kitchen. Which leaves you to believe it is the latter.

So looking towards the sky you notice a rainbow blur diving towards you.

In reflex, you dodge out of the way but the blur pulled back up in time towards the sky once more, going for a couple of stray clouds that drifted in from the Everfree. In no time flat the blur clears of this section of sky near the town’s outskirts. Perhaps it is one of those weather pegasi who is just doing their rounds?

You swear you also hear laughing as you dust yourself off.

Well whoever or whatever that was, it made for a very spectacular display. The display itself is too spectacular to be seen as weather duty or some random object in the sky. But then again, you did not have enough time to observe this flying object as it headed straight towards town.

“Another day…perhaps nothing will happen to me today?” you say to no one in particular again with a little look around you this time. “Bushes, grass, open fields, foals and a few adults over there in the park, Everfree entrance over there and a bridge…”

Absolutely nothing happens to you but then again something always does. But it is never what you expect it would happen but still, fate is a funny thing. So moving right along towards the park you catch a glimpse of three foals running around. One is an orange pegasus with a purple mane and the other is a white unicorn with a duo-tone pink mane. The last foal looks familiar; she has a yellow coat and red hair tied with a big red ribbon. All three run right by you towards the entrance of Everfree. Although you can’t place when or where you’ve seen her, your mind tells you that it is no place for foals to be at in the Everfree Forest.

You her them shout something: “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS….” that is the only thing you hear them say as they run.

Since nothing of interest has happened and you are worried about those kids heading in a very scary forest, you man up…erm pony up and follow them in.

“Follow them in you said, they are just little fillies you said…guess what? You’re lost!”

A little while after you entered the Everfree, it had been easy following those fillies. That, of course, had been near the edge of the forest with light underbrush. The three fillies don’t seem to be aware of your presence. But it also seems as they know where they are going which places you at a disadvantage. Over the course of ten minutes the forest starts to dense up, the underbrush getting thicker and the light from the canopy being blocked out more and more.

The eerie starts to get into your head.

It is when you scared yourself half to death from a huge spider web that you lost sign of the three fillies. Now, with nothing so much as a guide or a sign, you do not know where you are are or how you will be able to get out from there. All of this points to one fact: you are alone. Every path you take seems to be the same in every direction. And to top it all off, you are in the Everfree, a place with its own book that tells you the number of ways you could die in here.

And as usual, have you remembered to save your game?

*crunch*

“What was that?! SHOW YOURSELF!” shouting might have not be the brightest idea.

From the dense wood, a hooded figure reveals itself, its yellow eyes seen peering in your soul. That was not all; no, three smaller hooded figures revealed themselves also with yellow eyes peering into your soul. So number count, there is you: one and there is them: four…eeyup!

At this moment, you recall an entry from the book given to you recently.

Many creatures roam the dark undertones of the Everfree and survival is the game.

Many of the flora and fauna found in this book are merely records of what we, the researchers, have recorded and interacted with. Nonetheless, all manner of living life in the Everfree should be treated with caution and the utmost care. Unless you would fall in love with a tree stump within the forest…may Celestia have mercy on your soul.

Do note: if you see a plant, it might be poisonous; if you see a bunny, it is possible it could eat you; if you see a timberwolf, it will eat you; if you see hooded ponies with glowing eyes, they can eat you; see a bloody walking, rambling corpse with fresh blood on anywhere on its body, what do you think? It may tickle you or invite you to a tea party but none of us, the researchers, stayed to find out.

By the power of grey- “DON’T EAT ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

You get up as quickly as you can to escape your demise. Facing no obvious direction, you gallop at increasing speed. You make sure to pace yourself as you run, putting some distance between you and your followers. However, you also mind to not make it that far from them, because if a creature that would decide to pounce and feed off your flesh, you could easily run back towards them to throw the beast off, thus ridding yourself of the hoods and the beast in one fell swoop.

Galloping blindly, you find yourself going past a mess of mangled roots and fallen branches. A few prickly shrubs here and some thorny bushes there, you manage to look like a massacre escapee. Which could be the present situation looking as you are running away from hooded assailants which might have butchering tools under their robes, so running for your life is stupid but effective.

The hooded ponies managed to follow you without much noise, trotting along calmly as they watch you stumble throughout the bushes. The biggest of the four let out a sigh. The hooded mare remembers this reaction all too well. It is like an all-too-familiar scene involving a town nearby wherein ponies made themselves scarce at the mere sight of the mare. But taking things into perspective, she might have set this one up herself.

“Come little ones and we must hurry, as this colt needs not to worry. Running for his life will make him see, there is more to us then there is the Everfree”.

The three smaller ponies let out a collective sigh.

“Another wuss enters the forest. Doesn’t he know that there are monsters in the direction he’s going?”

“He’s probably the new neighbor Dinky was talking about.”

“He seems really familiar, Ah reckon I saw him a little ways back….forget it *huff*”

“Are you still angry at Diamond Tiara?”

“You bet Ah am!”

“Well I think Diamond Tiara had that headlock coming.”

The three smaller hoods kept talking amongst themselves but still in proximity of the larger hood. The latter following your progress with cringes and sighs at all manner of minor injuries you are inflicting upon yourself. She started to question herself on how does one get injured with a misplaced smooth river rock? Only you can answer that but even if she is asking the question, you are now beyond manic to make any logical sense of the world.

That or you probably just poisoned yourself.

“Mumble is my tail gone by who in the pie then me?” eeyup….poisoned.

With a loud crash you end head first into a mud puddle. You try to lift your head but you can’t. The mud on your face turns out to be heavier that your mane, probably because you are poisoned. Have I stressed that enough? Probably because you don’t know you are poisoned.

“It seems you have taken quite a trip, mumbling words are leaving your muddied lip. In your blind and careless dash, that thorn in your side has made quite a poisonous rash.”

“Gibble-doo?”

In your response you try with all your might to face your doom... or at least that was what you thought. Although you could have sworn that the world and all in it did not speak in rhyme.

“Gee, are you okay mister?”

“Face plant into a mud puddle, really? Mister are you feeling alright?”

“Ah swear Ah seen you before mister….”

Nope, the world still talks normal. Well, at least the creatures that are about to feast upon your fallen body had the decency to ask if you are alright. The four hooded figures mostly talked, at you and to themselves. You can no longer follow what they are saying as your ears are starting to fail you. What goes next is your sight. Everything you see starts to glow an eerie hue. The rest of your surroundings follow suit as they start to fade and their shapes start to warp. Then, in no particular sequence, you feel your body starting to numb and cold chills fill your spine. Whatever movement you make is cause for some great discomfort as moving them feels like moving mountains.

The caress of the abyss beckons to you and you have no choice but to accept it.

“…he is in quite a pickle; the poison’s symptoms are very much fickle.”

“It was a good thing you were there Zecora. But are you sure it’s fine to just let him rest? Do I *gulp* n-need to suck out t-the poison or anything?”

Two voices pull you back into the world.

“Do not worry Fluttershy my modest friend, as with all my potions I’m sure that the poison will meet some end. I must now return to my home, for in my care are three little foals whom I left all alone. Good bye”

“G-Good bye Zecora…good luck.”

After that dialog, you hear a door close and silence fill the room. You shuffle a bit before opening your eyes, squinting as they meet some light. You find yourself in a small room with a roaring fireplace. Taking a bit of your surroundings, it looks to be a normal house.

“…Oh what am I going to do?”

You hear a pony coming in from the door. You quickly feign sleep and listen in to her doings.

“Angel? Angel? Oh dear, not at a time like this *squeak*.“

Sounds like she is having a fit about something, you perhaps? In any event, you lie as still as you can. You make sure that you don’t give yourself away as you listen in. Now it sounds like she is pacing.

“I-I am no good with stallions...alone...*squeak*.”

Okay, so it appears she is not having a fit but is hyperventilating. That is bad if she does not receive help from you.

“Okay Fluttershy okay just be...calm. There is nothing to fear, he is just...asleep.”

‘Is it bad to feel giddy about how the way she talks?’ Whoever this Fluttershy is, she is really fun to listen to. ‘The way she raises the pitch of her voice near the end is adorable!’ You can’t help but move a bit as you fight to contain your giddiness.

‘Woops’

With a resulting “*Squeak*” and what sounds like a minor crash, it looks like the mare is out cold. But you give it a minute or two.

“A-A-Are y-you awake, m-m-mister s-s-s-stallion? *squeak*.” Good, she did not faint.

You then hear the slightest of hoofsteps approaching you. Yet again you try to keep yourself still as possible. But you give yourself the luxury with the nearly asleep peek with your eyes. This gives you the opportunity to see who your hostess is.

*poke* “Gaaah!”

She pokes you and immediately she flees. The butter yellow mare runs towards what you can tell to be a couch and hides behind it. Well enough is enough, might as well put her out of her misery. You move ever so slightly for a big loud yawn but not too big or it will sound suspicious.

*YAWN*

There. That seems to have done the trick-

“GYAAAAAAAH!” She screams. As she does, she leaps from behind the couch and tries to make a run for it. But as soon as she tries to flee, the startled pegasus forgot she has a shelf over her couch. The crash results in the mare knocking herself out. You immediately help the poor mare, but your body seems to have weakened. You manage a heave before falling off the makeshift bed.

“Miss? A-Are you okay...?” you ask as you try crawling to her. You find that your legs have fallen asleep during your blackout. “Miss?”

No reply. You hurry to tend to the fainted Fluttershy. You suddenly come face to face with an angry bunny. Its arms crossed and it tapped its foot impatiently and by the looks of which the bunny is wearing a noticeable scowl. By the looks of things, this is another one of those talks-with-the-animals part of your life.

The bunny starts to enact weird gestures, flailing its arms and making accusing points towards you. The bunny seems rather unhappy for a little critter.

“Okay...”

After a minute of observing the shenanigans of a grumpy bunny, you decide to continue on anyways towards the mare. It is soon after a few feet that you notice the very same bunny, now on your back, started to stomp at you for whatever reason. You disregard his stomping as it does not bother you much. But as soon as you face Fluttershy, another bunny appears, this one having a brown coat and looks to be eating an apple.

“Umm...Hello?”

‘Hello there, it looks like you made Angel there angry. What didja do?’

Funny, you thought for a moment there a bunny had just asked you what you did.

‘Stop making weird faces please...’ the brown bunny points to your face.

You are unaware you made such faces, must have been thinking deeply. So, you are truly having another conversation with an animal, go figure.

“Are you...talking to me?”

‘Depends, why is Angel angry at you?’

“I have no idea...and who is this Angel-” near the end the bunny on your back decides to upgrade from stomping to hitting you with a rolled-up newspaper “OW!”

‘That is the bunny trying so hard to kill you right now.’

“I did-Ow! Not do-Ow! Anything!”

The white bunny now known as Angel is relentless in his attack. It seems he’s putting all effort in the rolled up newspaper to maul and maim you into submission. Angel is acting like you have committed something worse than murder and sleeping with your sister combined. It is like you slept with Luna and Celestia and neither remember what happened the previous night and decide to execute you for it.

‘Whatever you’ve done made him quite angry.’

“Why doesn’t he talk-Ow! Like you-Ow!”

‘Angel is a special case. Sadly since adopted, Angel has been born mute. We try to teach him some gestures, but until now Angel seems to just rely on smacks and jabs’ the brown bunny ends with a bite on his carrot.

“Could you tell him to stop, please-Ow! I need to see to that mare there. FlutterPie is her name I think-OW!” you say as you crawl even further going past the brown bunny and towards Fluttershy.

‘It’s Fluttershy.’

“Okay Fluttershy-Ow! She hit her head and-Ow! Fainted! Would you please stop doing that!” you shout and with that Angel executed a tactical retreat, giving you the chance to stand and make your way to the yellow pegasus.

‘I should warn you, Angel has a habit of declaring war on anyone. And he is very persistent.’

“I don’t care...” you reply as you levitate Fluttershy to the couch that you had lain on. You fix up the pillows to prop her head nicely. “Let him do what he wants. I need to see to Fluttershy...that’s right, right?”

‘Yes and very well.’

It was then you hear loud screeching and clanking behind you. You turn to see a miniature tank being manned by Angel, who now sports a helmet.

“Mmh...” Fluttershy begins to stir.

At that very moment, the tank’s turret faces you and fires its projectile. Now, being in a world that seems to have less modern military might, that projectile would be nonlethal, right?

“Mister...Unicorn...?” she seems to be coming to.

But she is unable to see your face as you wait for what was coming next. Time seems to have slowed down as you hear Fluttershy speak. The turret fires and the last thing you see is an unknown projectile coming to you at immense speed. With that you are knocked out once again, your head twisting and falling muzzle first onto Fluttershy’s own. Your body follows suit as you sprawl over her unguarded form. You unconsciously dive right in and steal a kiss from Fluttershy.

“MMHF!” was all she could let out.

One word comes to mind right now: pain. All you remember is going head to head with a tank and facing your utter destruction when it fired at you. There are pieces of what happened but still not clear enough to make out the entire scene.

“Gnnh…”

Movement from your side brings you back from the world of darkness. Regardless of what happened you stretch yourself out. It is not as bad as you hoped it would be. Waking up, you notice the sunlight bringing a bright orange hue, probably sunset. Other than that, a nap on a couch with a mare hugging your waist seems to be normal.

“…”

Okay, maybe this is not normal. But at least it is nothing compared to what happened between you and PInkie Pie. Though that event is still a blur, you disregard that for now.

“...hmmm.” Fluttershy seems to be dreaming but other than that she has a steel-clad grip on your midsection.

This is bad. Well, it might be if somepony walks in and finds Fluttershy hugging your midsection. And a pony she hasn’t met no less might make others think you’re some kind of pimp or something. It doesn’t help either that you notice a quilt laid messily over you both. And as all desserts, some toppings are needed to make it complete. To list: you both have bed mane, there are some loose feathers on the floor and several candles melted to their base all around. This looks to be like a romantic encounter, yes?

“...Warm...” was all she let out. The room now filled with sunset glow summons the yellow mare’s natural beauty.

No matter, you take this opportune moment to enjoy yourself in the company of...let’s face it, a beautiful mare. Not saying Pinkie Pie isn’t beautiful, no.

The explosive pink mare is also beautiful. Though compared to Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy has this quiet beauty. What are you saying, you are human-turned-pony. It is too early for you to have these urges so you will have to wait a few more chapters-

‘-what’ just go with it...

You are now confused at the suspicion that the 4th wall has been briefly broken, but no matter.

For a while, you think of your position right now. And still all this time this morning you are forgetting to do something or meet with someone. But another nuzzle from the sleeping Fluttershy brings you out of thought. Another instance also brings you out of gazing at the sleeping mare.

“Fluttershy... Fluttershy darling!” shouting is heard.

By the sound of the shouting, the pony asking for Fluttershy seems to be nearing the door. Hoofsteps are heard stopping and giving a prompt knock before asking where Fluttershy is. Now this is quite a pickle. Firstly, you are entangled with what looks like you having bed Fluttershy. And secondly, if it so happens the door is unlocked or the guest decided to barge in unannounced then, well, you might guess the rest. It just so happens a cliché about bad things becoming a whole lot messier comes to mind.

“Hey Rarity! Have you seen Flutters? She said that Tank is due for his monthly check-up and stuff.”

“And hello to you too Rainbow. But no, I have not seen our dear Fluttershy as I just arrived. She told me that she is available this afternoon.”

Sounds to be two mares and they seem to be close friends with Fluttershy here. You pray that they would take a hint that this house is quiet and there is no Fluttershy-hugging-your-midsection-in-a-very-awkward-pose-that-could-incite-very-tempting-thoughts.

“What, another one of your spa visits?”

“Rainbow! This is an important albeit impromptu visit. If you already have received your invite, a party is being held for a prime bachelor!”

“Really? Do tell...”

“Your sarcasm does not affect me so Rainbow Dash...Well further on I discovered through my resources-”

“cough...Gossip...cough...”

“Hmph...Well this bachelor is said to have come from Canterlot...by hoof-”

“-Yeah yeah, As much as I would like to listen to you chat about some hunky fella why don’t we get Flutters out and get all of this over with?”

“Quite right Rainbow...at least you have some common sense in you still alive and well.”

“Heh, thanks...wait, what?”

“...nothing. Let us just fetch Fluttershy and who knows, you might want to join us at the spa. Looking your best might help your chances with a stallion tonight.”

“As if...”

*knock-knock*

It is now quite obvious they will not leave unless Fluttershy is with them, and they might have ignored the hint that she is not here. Makes you wonder who this mare around your waist truly is. But alas, this might be your doom. And yet again you ask yourself the very same cliché about-

‘-would you please stop making me think how this could possibly get any worse...oh shit!’

Gotcha!

You look around to see if anything will be the start of your inevitable doom. Nothing that caught your eye so far but a white blur is seen in the corner of your eye. You face towards the front door and you find two bunnies. It looks like Angel picked the perfect time to enact his fluffy white vengeance upon you; the brown bunny on the other hoof just watched and enjoyed his carrot.

“Angel...please, don’t do anything stupid. I still don’t even know why you hate me so much...”

All Angel gave with gestures that seem to point to you and Fluttershy but they still don’t make any sense. And with that, he must have given his ultimatum.

“I still don’t follow...”

Angel facepaws at your reply. The white fluff crouches down for a mighty leap up and hangs onto the door knob. And it is there, that you realize what Angel is planning to do. You try to think of many ways to stop the bunny but you are limited because of Fluttershy’s hug. But as stupid as you think you are, you remember you have magic. Just as Angel tries to open the latch and turn the knob, he finds himself covered in your magic hold. You give him a little tug but find some resistance and find that the little bugger hug onto the knob. You give your magic another tug and Angel replies by hanging on with dear life. Annoyed that this bunny will be the death of you, you give a mighty pull on Angel.

“How do you like them apples Angel,” you mutter under your breath.

The bunny flies into the air as you pull him off but the smirk on his face says otherwise. It was like he wanted you to do that. And to your surprise, the pull you gave was enough to fully open the door. The door creaks slightly. You reveal yourself to a beautifully pristine white mare and her antithesis, a blue mare with a wild rainbow-colored mane, both of which have unreadable expressions on their face. Well no, the blue mare has her jaw hanging from her head and her wings look to be fully erect.

You meet their eyes with your own. It is also just before you wanted to say something Fluttershy decides to bring you down with her into the couch and places her head on your chest. She fidgets a bit before giving out a cute yawn.

*yawn* “...hmm?...Rarity...Rainbow?...what a pleasant surprise...” she says to them with a sleepy look on her face. She also props herself up properly on you so that she could face her friends better. “...is it that time already?”

Her question remained unanswered. Fluttershy notices that both Rarity and Rainbow Dash now sport matching hues of blush on their face. She also takes note of the wings of her blue friend which by the expression on her face suggested that she did something wrong. It is then she cowers into her couch and starts to nuzzle it for safety. But alas she thinks that you were her couch.

And then she notices you...

“...good afternoon...?” you say as you try to break the silence.

And to make sure that she does not panic like the last time, you say this with a calm, warm smile on your face. But that does not hide the same blush on your face as hers as she matched your gaze.

“...good afternoon...” she replied back. At least it seems to be working.

You take a brief look towards the two mares by the front door and then back to Fluttershy. Who, at the moment, seems to be tearing up a bit. And a blush happens to follow, turning her face bright red as it starts to glow right off her. She also takes note of the position you two are in. In her mind she starts to put two and two together.

“...I can explain.”

Chapter 11 intermission - Cookies and beds

Chapter 11 Intermission - Cookies and beds

Amidst a field of stars, an artist weaves through the cosmos.

The dark expanse of stars played amongst galaxies and colourful cosmic dust. A simple midnight blue infinitely filled with colors. Aided by dull or sometimes colourful nebulous clouds of...if lack for a better term, nebulae. Along with stars, their purpose to light up the skies of the loneliest of nights, working hoof-in-hoof to create a cosmic masterpiece. Many of these celestial bodies inspired many a creature in more ways than one. Inspiring them to do whatever they feel that they experienced beholding this overlooked masterpiece.

Out of all those inspired, there is one who experiences more: their creator.

She takes a deep breath and gracefully dances in rhythm of her creations. Her movements control the heavenly bodies in what appears to be the dance of the ancients. Her magic glows as it flows around the room. Her ritual, long since dormant, has come alive once more.

She slowly sways in recurrence to the melody playing amongst her stars. Each of her stars twinkled in reply to their creator. Every gesture Luna makes moves celestial bodies within this dark velvet canvas; an artist, truly in her element.

Or what the illusion represented.

With a glow and a flick from her horn, the cosmic mirage dissipates, leaving behind it a well-furnished work room in a mid afternoon glow. Luna takes a moment to settle her bearings and shake off any residual magic on her coat. After a moment of tidying up, Luna makes her way towards a tea table situated at the far balcony facing the sun. She uses her magic to set a cup and a small portion of cake for herself before sitting down.

She takes a gentle sip and looks out over the balcony, overlooking the kingdom that she and her sister watches over.

“Perfect.”

Though, it’s been only three years since her return, Luna appreciated everything that her sister has done to make her fit in. And she in turn enjoyed those things and tried herself to understand them. Most of those things where the numerous rooms, filled with items and books, all for Luna’s well being in mind. Celestia spared no expense and had them collected decades prior to her release and reformation.

At the moment, Luna seems to be enjoying two of Celestia’s gifts. One is the very room she sits in, enjoying her tea.

It is a neat little nook near the royal apartments settled in one of the tallest spires of the royal castle. It’s furnished with what Celestia thought would be appropriate for a pony suffering generation lag. If asked, Luna will admit that she spends most of her time in this very room. Other than the library or the throne room of course. Most of the castle attendants assigned on any day in this tower would find their princess reading or brooding about somepony or usually something.

Rarely, she is seen setting about some dance.

Though, the mere thought of being observed would be embarrassing for most of the castle attendants to witness what she does in her spare time, especially in her current state of mind. Not that it is a strange thing to behold a mare dancing fluidly, no. But then again, it has been years since ponies understood how she paints the night sky. More often, her personal guards see to most of her activity as they guard her, with rapt attention mind you.

Although, she can’t help but swear that whenever she does something clumsily or fails miserably, her guards seem to have a penchant for giggling. Giggling mind you, intimidating dark bat-like stallions giggle.

“How art thou cake? Wilt you make mine day complete?” she asks the three-layered cake before she takes another slice. No answer, though if the cake did answer she knows that she’s crazy for a day...again.

Moving on.

Her urge for the recently underwent ritual came from nowhere; her desire to play around with her canvas for tonight’s display, that is.

Luna had to admit to herself that it started to look a bit bland. It has been a month or so since she’d updated the night sky and she felt that a little pick-me-up was in order. Therefore, with some careful planning and a bit of guidance from the local Astronomers, she set to work. This is not only for her but also for her dear friend and fellow stargazer, Twilight. Luna also had in mind her other friends as well.

But now, it’s time for a little break, yes?

Some while later after the cake was decimated, the old vinyl record she’s listening to abruptly skips. Curiously, at that same moment, a small knock on the door accompanies it. It seems that her free time has ended.

Oh well.

“Enter!”

With a simple whisk from her horn, Luna cleaned up the clutter used in planning her previous endeavour. Along with the gramophone, a few misplaced scrolls and her secret stash of records, the room tidied up as well. Though, her records are not exactly secret because the entire castle knows where she keeps it. It also does not stop some of the chambermaids to take one out for a spin, so to speak. But she does not mind, some of her belongings are for public use anyway. This way, she could connect the past to the future.

As if on cue, a head peeks through the double doors. A somewhat elderly dark blue stallion enters along with the head. But alas, this pony does not seem to have a monocle that others believe he has. Sadly, he does not have a barber's moustache but he does have a small grey goatee going on. That has to count for something, right?

“Princess, the items you have requested has been collected and awaits your attention.”

“Ah, perfect. Thank you for thine efforts Pocket Watch.”

“And I must say, you have given the staff quite an item hunt.”

“We...I am sure that everypony had fun in collecting these odds and ends of mine.”

“Indeed we have, your highness. Shall I have them brought here or in the lower study perhaps?”

“Have Cloak and Dagger assist thou to bring them to mine chambers.”

“At once Princess.”

“Pocket Watch?”

“Yes, Princess?”

“Also, send word to my sister that I shall not be tending to tonight’s duties. The items I requested shall be taking most of my time and thus I ask not to be disturbed.”

With a nod, “Would that be all, Princess?”

“Oh, and please inform the night staff slated for tonight to...how do express it these days...take the rest of the night off?”

“That is one way of articulating it, Princess.”

“Alright, I bid thee a good afternoon then, Pocket Watch”

“At once your highness, and many thanks.”

And with that the stallion retreats through the double doors to enact the task at hoof. She notices a slight bounce in his steps as he exits. This results in a chuckle from the observant princess.

It has been awhile since Luna called in a day off. Weeks after her return to Equestira, Celestia thought it would be a good idea for them to both have days off. That said, the current state of running the kingdom has become easier. So if either of them were to call in a night off, the kingdom won’t keel over from panic when one of them is missing.

But then again, if one were to disappear without notice, it would mean hell for the entire castle staff. Not repercussions of ill management mind you, no. A sudden disappearance means that something fishy is going on. One example would be a certain solar aligned alicorn and a keg of flash powder. Another would be the counterpart who experimented on the effects of concentrated coffee on the modern pony.

This afternoon forecasts call for mild shenanigans from either princess.

So, with a final glance of her work nook, she closes the doors behind her. She now heads to enact her own task. A task very much curious and challenging considering the ponies involved. The other party involved happens to be instrumental in her return to normality.

Luna also made sure that she brought along the other cake left untouched on her tea table. She foresees a midnight snack might be needed tonight.

Eggplants?

Sunset.

Cucumbers?

Princess Luna’s bedroom.

*GASP*

With that came the sound of splashing water and a rather flushed mare. Although if you count flushed red cheeks and rapid breaths, then it had gone better than expected which sounds like that went swimmingly.

“I should have known...”

It is a good thing that Luna set herself atop her mattress before starting her task. Or else she would have met the floor muzzle first if she hadn’t.

“Gah! Thank Faust for mine mattress!” she screams followed with a *foompf*.

Moments ago, the midnight mare settled on finishing some tasks left undone. The items she requested all consumed for this, except for one mirror that has acquired an ethereal shimmer to its surface. This task involved delving into an ancient piece of cosmic magic, the Dreamscape. It has really been a while since she made it into the Dreamscape.

She and Celestia thought it would be a good idea to create a repository of inner thoughts, dreams and feelings of their little ponies. Why would they do such a thing? Well, during the time it’s been conceived, it served as an advanced warning system. It would be used against would-be ne’er-do-wells and civic anarchists. Also, Luna hoped that at least out of the many things she and Celestia created, this one would have survived post-Nightmare Moon crazy. To her surprise, it is still whole and still exists.

And so far it served its purpose. Only until...well you know. And even after a thousand years later, the Dreamscape never changed. Save for a few notable expansions to the Dreamscape, a compensation for the increase of population since then.

“I should have known my sister had her hoof in this in some way.”

Upon noticing the falling sun, Luna noticed that it was her cue to set in motion the moon’s path. But she just got into her bed and is tired to even go through the motions of the ‘rising’. Thus, her horn glowed as she willed the moon to rise and her planned display starts to make itself known throughout Equestria; all this done from the safety of her gossamer sheets and goose down mattress. With that out of the way, she can now focus her attention to the matter at hoof: contemplation.

She rolls over to face her stuffed doll collection. Luna picks up an odd piece that resembles an animal with different body parts. She gathers it with her magic brings it over to her, making it face her as if she wills it to speak.

“Then I suppose at any moment I would hear word from Ponyville; About a herd of mares chasing one unlucky stallion...well lucky, if one were to think like a stallion....Can there be any more chaos?”

And on cue, the doll’s head slightly slumps to the left. Luna responds to the doll with a pout of her own as she puts it back.

*Knock-Knock*

“Luna?”

“I am not in the mood Celly.”

Actually, she is in the mood. Expecting company, Luna already prepared for her sister’s imminent arrival. She knows by heart that Celestia is both caring as she is curious, not to mention slightly devious. She also expected recompense for safe passage into her room.

“I’ve brought some cookies and milk shakes. Will these allow me entry?”

Aha.

“The cookies-“

“They are blueberry and blackberry jelly centered with some powdered sugar on top.”

“...you may enter.”

There are some in the castle that swear to never enter the royal apartment lest they want to suffer from permanent mental disfunction.

Celestia, regal high ruler of Equestria and sister to Luna and aunt to Princess Cadence, enters the room wearing nothing but pajamas and fuzzy slippers. Floating beside the white mare, a plate piled pony-high with cookies and two milk shakes follow. Celestia even had her hair turn to its normal, unmoving rosy pink. That is indeed a sight to behold, unless you are used to it like Luna is.

“Why are you unclothed like that? Don’t we have accord about when one of us takes leave for the day?”

“You are such a worry wart, Luna.”

Luna responds with a raspberry.

“Oh don’t give me that. I already made sure that I have had everything done a month beforehoof, including the paperwork. And the rest of the menial tasks, I’ve left to our trusted agents.”

Luna finishes off the conversation with a mild shrug and a bed toss to her side, facing Celestia as she lays the plate of cookies on her bed.

For a moment, they enjoy their cookies and milk shakes in comfortable silence. They are both just relaxing on her bed, not worrying about the crumbs that fall on the floor. In fact, they are so relaxed that they spent an hour just staring into the fireplace from the bed. Just enjoying each other’s company like they used to; and Celestia for one missed these moments the most. They both understood that if one of them has something to say, they would wait for the right moment.

“Funny how some things are, especially those that have a touch of magic in them. You can never really get to appreciate them only after they have gone.”

“Quite.”

Especially when they are still working hard to mend their sisterly bond, after the...you know. But nothing good lasts forever, as they say.

“So, Luna, how was it?”

“...?”

“How was your trip into the Dreamscape?”

"My trip had gone better than I expected it to be, it was rather pleasant.”

“Then I take it that you found something interesting?”

Luna pokes the tips of her hooves together. “Perhaps.”

“Mind sharing your discovery with me?”

“I would rather request some time to sort what I chanced upon.”

“Oh nonsense! It must be something juicy or scandalous even, go on tell me.”

“I shouldn’t...”

“Come on, please?”

“You are partially involved in this.”

“I-I am? Is it serious?”

*nods*

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I would like that.”

“Okay then, let us get a bit comfy before you begin.”

And they do just that although it is more of cookie binging than digging into the bed for them both. And since Celestia is determined to find out what is it Luna discovered about her, she goes first.

“So?”

“So?”

“...”

“...?”

“Just start where you think the topic carries its weight.”

“Why are thou haunches getting fat?”

“LUNA!”

“Alright,” Luna finishes off the cookie in her mouth. “Why have you cast a ‘Like Desire-Love Attracts’ spell upon Spice?”

Celestia just stares.

She stares at Luna until she lets out a smile. Not a single titter from the white mare as she dunks a cookie in her milk shake and eats it. Still ever patient, Luna just stares back, waiting for a reply. Then...Celestia grabs another cookie and dunks it again in her shake. And she does it again, and again, and again.

Luna may be patient but she is sure as heck annoyed with this. And just as she is about to reprimand with volume level 9, Celestia giggles.

“Because...”

“Because what?”

“...I thought it would be a good idea at the time.” She offers a toothy smile after.

Unamused, Luna magically lifts her pillow in hopes to thwack some sense into her sister. And before she could enact fluffy retribution, her big sister clears her throat. There, at that moment, the atmosphere in the room changes from light to an almost serious tone.

“It is long since we had visitors set foot on Equestira. And frankly, I did not know how to handle the situation then.” As she speaks, she clears away the spent glasses and the cookie-less tray aside.

“But that did not give us the right to meddle with his current state.”

“Well, I felt that whatever approach we had then would not encourage him to see the brighter side of his...how do I put it?”

“Isolation?”

Celestia feels the underlying venom in that but it is understandable.

“For lack of a better term, yes, isolation.”

“But thou hast not answered why you charmed him with such a spell.”

“I thought that he needed some adventure .”

“I do not follow.”

“Imagine a newborn foal. In comparison they both show need for curiosity, the desire for attention and will of movement. Any less of that attention and they will grow tired and disinterested to move onto something else.”

“Would you desire that I...whack you upside your head until you’re reasonable?”

“Try seeing the image beyond the metaphor. Our guest has been somehow brought into our domain and left with nothing familiar. He is indeed lucky to have literally dropped in our afternoon tea.”

“I do wish to whack you now.”

“You would like that wouldn’t you, Lulu?”

“Try me.”

“At least I have done what I can do rid you of your dreariness, sister.”

Luna was about to tell her sister off about that but held her tongue. For she knows that Celestia is right and succeeded in ridding her current dreary. And she could not help but crack a small smile. It is uncanny, whenever she feels drab; Celestia seems to have some way or some scheme to bring a smile onto her face. Even before the banishment she still had that same caring, loving attitude. It never faltered albeit she might have picked up on the sly and mischievous.

“Do you remember reading books on Myths and Legends? The tales spun about monsters and demons; stories told to naughty foals before bed?”

“I distinctly remember that I, too, was, once one of those demons.”

“Luna.”

“’Tis alright, I have made peace with what I have done and what is done.”

“And I am proud of you for it but back to the topic: What do you know of humans?”

“I have read on that they are a race that uses no magic but rely solely upon their devices and constructs. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“I am getting to that Luna.”

“I do hope that you have a point to all this. My hoof is getting itchy from not having to hit some pony.”

*giggle* “Alright, Lulu. But before that...”

Celestia shuffles a bit as she scoots closer to her sister, pulling Luna close to snuggle with. And sure enough, Luna gave into the comfort of her sister’s radiant heat.

“As I put it, I feel that Spice just needs some adventure. It is not every day that you are pulled from your world and into another.” Out of reflex, Celestia started to preen her sister’s wings. “And I know that you are familiar with the feeling and I am sure you understand where I am coming from?”

“I do. But still, why cast it at all? If adventure is what he lacks then why not offer him what he has already accepted? Without the spell of course.”

Celestia takes her time in a section of plumage before she continues. If she does this halfheartedly, well, the long-needed sisterly bonding would be for nothing.

Or having undone and messy feathers can mess up the image of a radiant goddess; especially when she is the goddess of the night, whose job description is to look drop dead gorgeous. Not to mention be the model of the very symbol of desire for stallions and mares alike.

You know what I mean.

“Out of curiosity, did you cast the spell upon Spice with Twilight in mind?”

Her sister lets out a chuckle at that but is still busy with her little sister’s wings to respond.

“D-Do not jest! Have you done so with Twilight in mind? Hold, do not answer that. I could sense it be true.” Luna bites her lip. “I am afraid to ask but have you also thought of the rest of the elements as well?”

A smile was all that Luna received as Celestia finished that section of wing.

“I had their best interests in mind and I know that is a despicable thing to do and I feel ashamed.”

“You don’t look ashamed. If I were to place an emotion to that expression, I would say amused, smug and borderline mischievous.”

“Right you are! And you forgot to mention that I am a fully certified matchmaker. Besides, it has been long since I have wed a couple...or harem in this case.” *wink*

*facehoof*

And thus for a while they remain speechless, not wishing to destroy the atmosphere of love and care they both erected. Celestia continues on the next wing, leaving an amiable silence between the two. Even though it is for a short while, as long as they are bonding what little they have would be enough. So it went on till Luna does the same to Celestia’s wings.

After a moment, they just lay there on Luna’s bed resting. Luna has a content expression on her face, all the while observing Celestia. Who, at the moment, is tracing a few lines on constellation design on her bedding.

“There is something you forgot, Luna.”

“Hmmm? What is this that I forgot to mention?”

“It is rumoured that Humans are immune to magic.”

“Well, I do think that we have already disproven that. Even if I forgot, it would be redundant to mention. We are successful in turning him pony, have we not?”

“Yes we have, but as I said and like the tomes mention ‘most’ magic.” Celestia pauses a bit. She chucks in a couple of logs into her sister’s dwindling fire in her fireplace. “Getting back to answer your question about the spell I cast, it was dispelled. It dissipated fully by the time he left this city’s gates.”

“Wait, are thou saying that Spice no longer is afflicted by your spell?”

“If it is any consolation, there could be some residual essence left but not enough to cause real damage.”

“So his encounter with our little ponies, like dear Pinkemina and dear Fluttershy, all of his actions thus far are his own?”

“Yes, that was all his doing. And nothing contributed to the outcome but himself. No enchantment, charm nor even spell backlash would have anything to do what he did.”

“I...I see. But that would not make any sense. If the spell you cast diminished that quickly, then our transformation spell would have gone at the exact moment.”

“True, but as I said ‘most’ magic and sure enough the transformation held until now. I confirmed this with Morning Dew when we sent her to deliver some of his late papers.”

“Speaking of Morning Dew.”

“Hmm?”

“She is out of sorts at the moment...are you certain that there is no hidden charm cast onto him? I am afraid -.”

“-Morning Dew, really? Do tell Lulu!”

“No! I might regret giving you munitions against the poor mare, therefore I will forego in mentioning the particulars of her thought.”

“Not even the tiniest bit of information?”

“Nor even thine pouts would break my resolve. Even if you are my sister, I have grown a resistance to this...whatever name you give this force that you wield.”

“Darn! I thought I had you there.“

“And don’t even think of proceeding with your backup plans to persuade an ounce out of me. I know you will resort to some physical means. Your tickle tactics by all means try.” Luna blows a raspberry in hopes of killing any desire for her sister to move into position.

Celestia, in response, moves around a bit. She shuffles around the bed readying her body and moving her hooves to her sides, into position. Celestia looks to be like a cat waiting to pounce on their prey. And Luna seems to be a little intimidated even if she does not let it show.

Sure enough, Luna scoots away on her bed in hopes of distancing herself. Even after all this time, she knows her sister well. And this is one example of her more surreptitious interrogation methods. But this one is new to her. Whatever method Celestia employs, she must do her best not to speak of her discoveries in the Dreamscape.

Luna wonders why her sister can’t just enter the Dreamscape to see for herself. They are both alicorns with near unlimited cosmic power. And they both have the ability to enter it, so why employ to foolish means of information gathering? They are both fully grown mares. Sure, there are some physical discrepancies in physical ages but they are very much immortal. And by looking at Celestia, that is how Luna should have looked like were it not for her...you know but only time can tell.

“I find this method rather fun, Luna. So, either I coax you into telling me or...I do something a tad bit drastic.”

On the way to the royal apartments, one lone guard takes her time to wander the halls of the castle.

Rather, to at least admire the beautiful stained glass that adorns each window of the castle. Many of the palace staff have grown accustomed to these but haven’t really taken the time to appreciate them and their silent beauty. There are some that do appreciate them and many have their own quirks about them. Many of her comrades-in-arms that do take notice say that the windows look differently if seen in another light. Some would argue or joke about using torch, candle or lamplight to see the difference. But to those that know, they would only mention talking a stroll during the night.

And it is during the night, these windows are...almost enchanting, haunting.

The lone guard trots on slowly from pane to pane, window to window. Patiently takes in newfound details in them that were not present during the day. She finds how the warmer colors of the glass are subdued to a pastel haze in the cold moonlight, such is spectacular to witness. The metal inlays and filigree borders themselves join in by taking on an unusual glow, causing the windows to shimmer like they were made out of clear liquid color.

“Hmm, how in Celestia’s beard does a light change do this?” she asks to no one in particular.

She wonders why most of castle staff prefers to work the day shift. As she has seen, the night shift is not so bad. Though, some of her friends say or rather fear the more mischievous of the sisters is active at night.

Though many caught that reply and replied with their own acceptable ‘corrects’ or ‘indeeds’. But she never really asked her friends a better question: Who is the mischievous one of the two? With lack of a better answer, either shift tells of one princess is crazier than the other. For certain there would be biased answers from the respective entourages of either princess. Still, that did not stop her from at enjoying her stroll.

Still in mind that she has a task to complete, it is her duty to see it done.

For a moment, the lone guard reflects. It is quite rare for most of the castle staff to be given the night off, the noblepony and court included. Therefore it seems eerily silent and peaceful around the castle, except for a few night guard patrols and Princess Luna’s batponies going about their rounds.

The castle is practically empty and it is also a peaceful night to boot, along with the perfect night sky.

‘Enough dawdling...time to get to work.’

To her surprise, Morning Dew reaches her destination.

Before her are the double doors leading to the royal apartments. She checks herself before proceeding, making doubly sure that the scrolls tucked under her wing are secured and accounted for. With a deep breath she knocks. In a brief moment, a maid opened the doors and she let her in with a smile. The maid was a dainty thing: Earth pony, mare, purple coat and deep red mane with a hooded flower for a Cutie Mark. She is one of Luna’s personal attendants, Nightshade.

“Looking cheery as usual Nightshade.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself Dew. So, what have you got for the princesses tonight?”

“Oh, the usual: intelligence reports, newpapers, monthly cake billing and some receipts. You know, the usual fare except for the unusual would be the bill to cover the spent chemicals and stuff in the alchemy lab...and that thing. ”

“Is that about the slip-up last week?”

“Yup, the cleaning staff is still scraping what is left of that thing off the ceiling.”

“Too bad it was my day off and I have left the castle. It would have been priceless to see Burgundy Platoon in that ooze.”

“They weren’t too happy with that ooze. Some of them swore that the ooze tried to consummate its love for their butts, if you know what I mean.”

“That is what I mean by priceless!”

“Oh you!”

It’s amazing what you can talk about while trotting to the bedroom proper of the apartments. So much can be shared in a short amount of time. Most of their talks center around their night off but if it is their night off, why are they still in the castle? True, both mares love the fact that they have a night off. But some duties cannot be shirked, unless punishment would meet them in the end. Still however, they both talked and trotted, making their way towards a guarded gate...well, supposed to be guarded anyway.

“Night off I guess?”

“Nope! Cloak and Dagger are just out doing their rounds...and probably fetching my donuts.”

Morning Dew can’t help but chuckle and roll her eyes. She remembers the first time she and Nightshade met Cloak and Dagger. They had never seen ponies like them, batponies. Turns out these ponies are nocturnal and are born with batwings. In fact, nopony has ever heard or seen them in almost a thousand or so years. It surprised many when Princess Luna mentioned she wanted ponies from Hollow Shades to return under her service.

But they are still ponies and the castle has gotten used to them, especially the captain-of-the-guard’s new second in command.

‘Weird mare, that one...’

The princesses have a way with choosing odd ponies to work for them; many are not what they seem to be.

The staff works on regular shifts as do the guardsponies, crowned prince Shining Armor included. Each pony does a task assigned to them and it is up to them to choose another or up to their initiative to do something for the castle. The benefits are more than they ask for which include dental, seasonal heat, maternal leave, holidays, hazard pay, parasprite infestation coverage, practical joke injury insurance and invasion protection to name a few. They also have access to the hidden-to-the-public castle staff bar, which is one of the best and not to mention friendliest bars in Canterlot.

Sure, from the outside if one were to observe the castle staff, they might conclude that it is a very tight ship they run. But nothing destroys rumours and gossips like a castle staff pony with a smile on face and song in heart. And the ponies, no matter what happens, do enjoy their time under the diarchs employ.

In the end, ponies are happy with their job and the belief that if they don’t perform well they don’t get paid; which is substantially generous in terms of bits per day-

“Equestria to Dew? Equestria to Dew? Come in Dew?”

“Wuh? Oh!”

“Spacing out again, are we?”

“L-Let’s get this over with, I seriously need a night out.”

“Ooh, sounds like a plan.”

With that, the two mares settled down.

*Knock-knock*

“Your Highnesses?”

Silence.

“Your Highnesses? It is time for the daily reports!”

Nothing.

“Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? It’s me, Morning Dew. I know you both hate paperwork but these need to be done! Ma‘am?”

“Okay Dew, this is getting weird.”

“Now now, I think they might be trying on some dresses or that sort of thing?”

“Princess Luna only has one dress in her wardrobe right now. The rest are being cleaned.”

They just stare at each other for a minute before fearing the worst. At that moment, everything then on is not their fault.

It is not their fault when they pressed their ears to the doors to listen in, the doors unlocked. It was not their fault when said doors opened on their own. And it is not their fault that the sight before them is the stuff that colts, stallions and mares dream off.

There, before a royal hoofmaiden and a royal guardspony, behold the two sisters entwined atop a bed. Both their bodies covered in sweat and their legs entangled with one another. Curiously, Luna is the one on top and Celestia seems to wear a satisfied look. To top it all off, there is a conveniently spread blanket covering their midsection.

Now what suppose do you think has happened here, hmm?

As far as the two mares by the door as concerned, this...is pretty hot. Not that Morning Dew or Nightshade swing that way. Surely any pony of any gender that sees this would eventually crumble and their minds tainted with bliss.

“Uhh...”

“Yeah...”

Okay, I stand corrected. All who witness this will have their minds crumble and tainted with bliss.

Author's Note

I know that many of you were waiting for the next chapter. And here it is, well sort of. It is actually another intermission chapter which happens in the same day that Spice has. I know many are waiting on what happened to Fluttershy. You have to wait a bit more, I decided to rewrite many of its sections, because it did not scream random.

Instead, enjoy this one while I work on the next chapter...again.