Robot Chicken DC Comics Special 3:My Little Pony Edition! #RCDC3MLPE
Robot Chicken! They've pulled off and done some of the most messed up (bleep) in the history of television! They've taken most of our beloved franchises, from Transformers to He-Man, from The Smurfs to The Fast and The Furious, and dragged their names through the mud, making them into a huge laughing stock! They've mocked and disgraced just about every single freakin' thing in the whole wide f***ing world! And they even went too far screwing around with the most iconic characters of all time, the DC Comics super heroes and super villains, through two over the top specials! And you know what?! THEY'RE DOING IT AGAIN! Only this time, they'll be including the amazing characters from My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic! And all hell WILL break loose! And now: the Robot Chicken DC Comics Special 3:My Little Pony Edition! #RCDC3MLPE
Skit 1: Mr. Banjo is as bright as the sun as he makes his way to the Apple Family Farm, that's when he approaches the front door, and soon enough, Applejack of the family answers.
"Can ah help you, sir?", asked Applejack.
"Why hello there! I'm Mr. Banjo! I'll steal America's secrets and send them to foreign enemies by playin' morse code on mah banjo playin'", said Mr. Banjo as he played a short tune on his banjo, while Applejack was a little weirded out by what he was saying.
"Ok? That's mighty fine, but ah don't see what that has to do with me", said Applejack.
Well ya see, ah heard your dear Granny Smith is the damn best banjo player in all of Equestria!", shouted Mr. Banjo.
"Ya darn tootin'! In fact I was soooo good, Ah even came out on top in the old annual banjo contest back in mah youthful days!", shouted Granny Smith right behind Applejack, followed by AppleBloom and Big Macintosh.
"She even took home first prize six years runnin'!", shouted AppleBloom.
"Yup", said Big Mac.
"Ah see where ya going with this young man, ya wanna see if yer better than me at banjo playin'!", shouted Granny Smith.
"Ya got me there! Now I don't mean to brag, but back where I come from, I'm the best banjo player there is", said Mr. Banjo.
"Where YOU come from, but here, no one's better at banjo playin' than mah Granny Smith! So if yer lookin' to out-banjo her, yer surely mistakin'!", shouted Applejack.
"Well then it's time to prove that little miss! So how about it mam? Think yer up for it?", asked Mr. Banjo.
"Am I up fer it?! You bet I'm fer it, sonny boy!", shouted Granny Smith.
"Well then, time to get yer banjo on!", shouted Mr. Banjo, followed by a stand off being set up in the living room, and both banjo players started strumming those strings like crazy with Applejack, AppleBloom, and Big Mac as an audience. Those two just played furiously, trying to outplay each other in any way possible, from Mr. Banjo sweating like hell so much that he was crazy enough to drink it as it poured down his face, to Granny Smith actually hopping around the whole room just to keep herself from falling for her urge to take a nap. Both of them were playing at a crazy ass pace, neither of them showing signs of slowing down or giving up.
"Face it Granny Smith! We're evenly matched now, but it's only a matter of time before I take the lead!", shouted Mr. Banjo as he ran around the room like hell avoiding an encounter by a furious certain dog called Ramona.
"In yer dreams! Ah ain't finished yet!", shouted Granny Smith from the kitchen as she had just finished baking an apple pie using only her head and hind legs.
And shortly afterward, they were both together in the living room, exhausted but no less determined for one of them to come out on top, until a tall figure abruptly kicked down the door, catching everyone by surprise. And entering the room, is Firestorm, the Nuclear Man, looking seriously pissed off.
"What in tarnation is yer problem?!", demanded Applejack.
"I'll tell you what my problem is, kid! Fatso there is my problem!!", yelled Firestorm, then breaking the fourth wall as everyone but Mr. Banjo are creeped out about it seeming like he talking to someone when no one's there, "What the hell's the matter with you idiots?!?! First, you lump me with this fat douche back in the first special, now you let him star in the first skit of the third special?! When you could've had ME do something far more awesome than something stupid like this banjo contest?!"
"Well hang on there mah friend, this contest involves something that folks like Granny Smith and myself enjoy as a pass time, so it is a pretty big deal here", said Mr. Banjo, all calm-like while the Apple Family remained creeped out. And that's when Firestorm walks over to a rocking chair in the corner, picks it up and turns it into iron, and hurls it right at Mr. Banjo hard enough to knock him out.
"Don't f**** pull off any sh*t stunts like that ever again!!", yelled Firestorm while looking off at the audience, right before he storms off still furious, leaving the Apple Family all alone with an unconscious Mr. Banjo.
"He's knocked out cold real good there", said Applejack.
"This means that ah'm the winner, right?", asked Granny Smith.
"This TOTALLY means that you're the winner!", shouted AppleBloom.
"Yup", said Big Macintosh.
Skit 2: Mr and Mrs. Cake were strolling around Ponyville, trying to make their latest desert creation, frosted chocolate balls on a stick, into a huge hit. So far they've sold at least a dozen, but still had to try to empty out the whole cart.
"Frosted chocolate balls on a stick! Come and get em'!", shouted Mr. Cake, and that's when a six-foot-tall gray robot comes out of nowhere and approaches the Cakes.
"Oh! Why hello there good...sir? Are you interested in a tasty treat? You won't find these anywhere else", said Mr. Cake, as the robot pointed at one of the treats.
"Oh, so ya want that one then?", asked Mrs. Cake, but then the robot shook his head "no", and pointed at one of the treats again.
"That one then! Gotcha!", shouted Mrs. Cake, but then the robot shook his head furiously stating "no", and pointing to yet another treat.
"So, this one instead?", asked Mr. Cake, followed by the robot smacking his face with his hand, right before he takes the cart away.
"Hey! You can't take all of them just like that! Ya gotta pay for those!", shouted Mr. Cake in irritation, but was then staring in a disturbed manner along with Mrs. Cake, as they witness the robot thrusting it's waist against the front end of the cart repeatedly.
"On second thought, they're all yours", said Mr. Cake, and that's when Green Lantern lands right beside the Cakes, hoping to get his hands on one of those treats they just made, until he immediately focuses his view on the Humping Robot and the cart.
"I'm not even gonna ask what that's about", said Green Lantern.
Skit 3: It's one of the match-ups of the century: Superman is racing against Rainbow Dash in an over the top flying race to see which of them is the fastest, as seen in the past between Superman and Santa Claus.
"Hey! No fair using reindeer!", shouted Superman.
"Oh ok, no fair using our yellow sun then, you f***ing alien!", shouted Santa, which brings us back to the race with Superman and Rainbow Dash.
"Face it kid! You're outclassed here! Flying is part of the superhero gig! And I'm a natural at this sorta thing!", yelled Superman.
"Oh yeah?! Well I'm a natural at flying, too! So what makes you think you'll win?!", yelled Rainbow as she flew closer to better exchange angry glares with the Man of Steel, but instead, Superman felt very calm and confident about the race.
"Basically, I KNOW I'll win thanks to what's floating right in front of you!", shouted Superman, and as the two racers were already flying at breakneck speeds, Rainbow got back to focusing on her flight path and was struck with panic as she flew straight into a lone thunderstorm cloud. Superman was still flying toward the finish line, minding his own business and filled with joy at the sound of Rainbow in agony as she was fiercely struck by thunder and lighting, and then getting spit out of the cloud and straight into the ground.
"Another job well done!", shouted Superman in delight as Rainbow plummeted to the ground, and landing in a hay bale sitting in a wheel barrow. She's just gotten her act back together just in time to see Superman now flying casual-like toward the finish-line. At first, she's carrying an irritated look on her face, only to switch to a slight grin, and we soon see her reason, when Superman flies through the tape, which quickly set off a hidden trap gun, firing a shard of Kryptonite into his right leg, and given it's his one true weakness, that obviously meant hell on earth for Superman as he spirals out of control and hits the ground hard, the impact doesn't mean anything to him, obviously, it's the Kryptonite shard jammed into his right leg that's the real problem.
"AAAHHH!!!!! Damn it all!! Good sweet C***st! Holy Sh*t that hurts real motherf***ing bad right now!", shouted Superman in sheer pain while Rainbow was still laying on the hay bale, laughing her head off.
"*laughs* Now that was totally priceless! Ha ha ha!", shouted Rainbow.
"This isn't funny, you teenage smart-ass! You rigged that damned tape! Now there's a chance I'll have to spend forever with a friggin' Kryptonite shard stuck in my leg, forced to walk around using a cane like a bulls**t senior guy!!", yelled Superman in anger.
"I know! This was totally worth the whole afternoon well spent! Whooo Hoooo!", yelled Rainbow as she did a loop de loop and flew off, leaving Superman, bitter and still dealing with the leg wound.
"I'm gonna f***ing sue that damn kid", said Superman in a slightly quiet yet bitter tone.
Skit 4: The Flash starts feeling like his outfit isn't on the level of epic-ness like his super speed, so he speeds by Ponyville, and pays a visit to Rarity in her boutique for a new change of wardrobe, and this is the result.
"Oh my! Flash, as a friend, I'm being quite serious with you when I say: this outfit works wonders for you! Simply some of my finest work yet! It absolutely screams 'dazzling'! You MUST see yourself in the mirror! Trust me!", shouted Rarity, and just like that, Flash steps in front of the closest mirror, and is absolutely stunned to see himself as a big bedazzled, yellow stripped, purple and rainbow glitter mess. Flash sees an excited look on Rarity's face, eagerly waiting for his feedback, so his takes another look, and waits for a few moments, and has an answer.
"You really wanna know what I think?", asked Flash.
"But of course", said Rarity.
"I look like bull**** littered with glitter", said Flash.
Skit 5: It's Superman's birthday! And Pinkie Pie, as Ponyville's best party planner, had already put together an epic bash for Superman, right in the dining room in the Cakes' sweet shop. Pinkie had pulled out all the stops, from Kryptonite-shaped rock candy, to cupcakes with the Superman logo on top as frosting, and even games like "Pin the tail on Krypto The Superdog".
"Thanks for everything, Pinkie, I really appriciate all this", said Superman.
"Not a problem, and to REALLY make sure you'd have the bestest, most amazing birthday party ever, I invited someone who came from Krypton! A close and personal friend you can share stories with!", shouted Pinkie with sheer joy.
"Hey thanks! Been a while since I've seen my cousin, Supergirl, we really gotta update our Facebook profiles", said Superman.
"People still use Facebook? Weird! But anyway, I invited someone else you already know, someone who's one of your closest friends", said Pinkie, just before a guy in a black outfit of Kryptonian origin, stormed through the door, quite furious.
"SUPERMAN!!", shouted the guy, who turned out to be the infamous Kryptonian war criminal, General Zod.
"Oh f**k", said Superman as the rest of the crowd stood silent, then turns to Pinkie, "Hey, Pinkie, is there a reason why Zod is crashing my party?", asked Superman in irritation.
"Crashing? Not a chance! I invited him! You both come from Krypton! And this guy was practically begging me to give him details!", said Pinkie, as we now head for a quick flashback.
"Please! Oh God! Sweet mother of mercy! For sh**t's sake! Just tell me where to look!", shouted Zod on a cell phone in dispair.
"Ok! Just stop by Ponyville, look for the sweet shop, be there around three in the afternoon, and you've made it! Ooh! And don't forget to bring a present!", shouted Pinkie on her own cell phone.
"Thank you very much! I'll make sure to get there!", shouted Zod, then ending the call and whispering to himself, "Ha, clueless bitch". Now back from the flashback.
"Pinkie, you do know, that this guy is one of my greatest enemies, right?", asked Superman.
"No I didn't!", shouted Pinkie.
"Of course not, crap", said Superman, "So let's cut to the chase, Zod, and tell me why you're here!", shouted Superman.
"Why I'm here, why the hell do you think I'm here?! I want payback for when you snapped my neck all those years ago, and killed me! *whispers* 'Man of Steel'", said Zod.
"Hey, I didn't wanna do that! You forced my hand in that train station, when you tried to fry those people backed against a corner with your heat vision!", shouted Superman.
"I wasn't really trying to kill those guys! I needed to fart and I didn't want to make an even bigger fool out of myself, so the best way to let it out was with heat vision", said Zod.
"Ya could've done a short burst, dude! You took way too long!", shouted Superman.
"Blame THAT on those extra loaded bean burritos Taco Bell's serving! 'Live mas' my ass! I knew I should've should've ordered take-out", said Zod.
"I hear ya, I remember this one time, I stuffed myself with those same burritos, and I totally gased the Hall of Justice in under a minute! Everyone had to wear gas masks for two whole months!", said Superman, right before Zod dealt him with a right hook and knocked Superman against the counter.
"Oh it's on now!", shouted Superman as he dodged Zod and punched and knocked him against one of the side tables, then Zod snatches an apple pie from Applejack and tosses it right into Superman's face, right before Zod kicks Superman to the other side of the place, who in turn, takes Rarity's teapot, and splashes the tea right at Zod's face as he was charging, and stops to yell in pain because of the seriously hot tea. Then Superman smashes the tea pot on Zod's head, and the two legends trade various blows, from super punches, to Zod slapping Superman senseless, to Superman delivering a super hard kick right at Zod in the crotch and knocking him in front of the door. Zod got back on his feet and faced Superman once again, only to end up with a very surprised look on his face right before he fell to the ground flat on his face, and everyone was shocked to see he had been killed by a Kryptonite-infused batarang that was stuck in his back, and the owner, standing in the doorway was none other than Batman.
"What the (bleep) did you do that for, Batman?! I had him on the ropes! I wasn't even gonna kill him, man!!", yelled Superman as he and everyone else had a freak-out look on all their faces while Batman simply stood there, and Batman simply says.
"Eh, I was gonna use that thing on you anyway. But at least Zod didn't off you, so consider your ass saved, you're welcome. Oh, and happy birthday, that batarang is your present, try not to die from it, or just die, I don't give a crap anyway", said Batman as he swiped a cupcake from a nearby pony, gave them all the peace sign, and took off.
Skit 6: The Legion of Doom, the villainous opposite of the Justice League, were scouring all of Equestria, trying to find some villains to help them take down the JLA and the Mane 6, but even after learning of the defeat of Nightmare Moon, King Sombra, Queen Crysalis, and Lord Tirek, they still pressed on, hoping to track down the supposed two remaining villains: Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, and the arch rival of Daring Do known as, Ahuizotl. The Legion was know trekking through the Everfree Forest, until trouble sprang up as Sinestro, Mirror Master and the Joker wanted to play a little prank on Toyman.
"Hey, Toyman! I think I found something that looks like a big surprise over by that old tree over there! You should have a peek at it", said Sinestro.
"Ha ha, I LOVE surprises! Especially the big kind!", shouted Toyman as he ran over to the tree Sinestro mentioned, and noticed a box sticking just out of a hole in the tree, and without hesitation, he took the box from the tree and held it with joy.
"Ooo, I hope it's a stash of dirty movies from the 90's, except that Demi Moore movie from 1996, it really sucked", said Toyman as he opened the box, and out popped a Jack in the Box, that would've given him a heart attack, and stumbled backwards right underneath a buzzing beehive with scorpions crawling all over it, held in place with a rope by the Joker, who gladly releases his grip on the rope as the beehive fell down on Toyman in full force, who in turn was running around and screaming in terror as bees swarmed him and scorpions crawling all over, rapidly and angrily stung at him. Then Sinestro pulled out a full length mirror in front of Toyman, who blindly ended up going through a portal and disappeared, and then The Joker pulls in a second mirror, and that's when Toyman comes out knocked to the ground flat on his face covered in sting marks and had "dick head" written all over his body.
"Joke's on you, motherfu***er! Boom!", shouted Mirror Master as he stepped out of the second mirror, having a huge laugh with Joker and Sinestro as they exchanged high fives.
"Silence you fools! We're supposed to be looking for either of those two villains, Discord and Ahuizotl, if we're ever gonna bring down our enemies!", shouted Lex Luthor.
"We've been walking for hours, Luthor! And we haven't seen a peep of Ahuizotl or Discord or whatever the hell they're called!", shouted Penguin, until Discord appears right out of nowhere.
"Then you won't have to look too far, because here I am!", shouted Discord.
"Aww I wanted to be forced to eat Black Manta to stay alive", said Penguin.
"You bird-brained bastard!", shouted Manta.
"I was just nearby when I enjoyed that painfully hilarious prank on that wood guy", said Discord.
"You did?! Why the fu** didn't you try help me?!", demanded an injured Toyman.
"What can I say? It's not often I get to see guys like you make a complete fool of yourself!", shouted Discord.
"Believe me, I've seen plenty of that, and just complete bulls*** these days, like that talk-show 'Ellen'", said Luthor, "But enough of that! Discord, I would like to have you join forces with the Legion of Doom! Together we will crush the Justice League and the Mane 6, and conquer all of Equestria!"
"That all sounds VERY promising, but I'm gonna have to turn you down", said Discord.
"Well then welcome aboard! Wait what?!", yelled Luthor.
"So, it's not time to crack open the champagne bottle?", asked Gorrilla Grodd.
"Stuff it up your a****le, Grodd!! And you, Discord! What do you mean you're turning us down?!", demanded Luthor.
"In case you didn't hear, I'm reformed, plus I got me some close friends, and some of them just happen to be the Mane 6, and I just can't go against them, it wouldn't be right of me at all", said Discord.
"Brainiac! You NEVER said anything about Discord reverting to a lame do-gooder!", yelled Luthor.
"My mom blew all my 3G data watching 'The Killing' on Netflix, now in it's final season, and I probably would've pulled up more information back at that cafe if a certain know-it-all dick-head gave me the damn WiFi password when I asked for it FIFTY FU**ING TIMES!", yelled Brainiac.
"Screw you, you incompetent cyber-douche!", shouted Luthor.
"Well, I can see you're busy here, so I'll be on my way, but I'll definitely make sure that when you all end up in a world of hurt and humiliation, and you will, I'll be sure to get a bird's-eye view of it! Ta ta!", shouted Discord as he vanished into thin air.
"Unbelievable! For all we know, no thanks to Brainiac, Ahuizotl's probably defeated or reformed already!", shouted Luthor.
"Not necessarily", said the villain known as Ahuizotl, who emerged from the brush along with some of his personal army, "I've heard talk of you and your group, Lex Luthor, and how you were searching for a powerful ally or two. Unlike that feeble and pathetic excuse of a villain, Discord, who actually retired from evil, I am not one to pass up an opportunity like this. For which, I would gladly offer my services as an ally".
"You're serious about this?", asked Luthor.
"But of course! Those miserable Mane 6 are the reason my arch rival, Daring Do, was able to thwart my last plans for conquest, for which, I shall gladly have my revenge", said Ahuizotl.
"Well welcome aboard! Grodd! Crack open the champagne! With our new ally, victory will surly be *bonk* Ow! Son of a bitch!! That got me right in the eye!", shouted Luthor, leading up to getting hit in the eye by the flying bottle cork. And that's when Mr. Banjo shows up out of nowhere to make things worse.
"And I believe this calls for a good ole fashion celebration tune that should be played only on mah banjo playin'!", shouted Mr. Banjo, and he was strumming up a good tune on his little banjo, until Firestorm shows up out of nowhere as well, all pissed off as he breaks the fourth wall again, creeping out everyone else while he gives the creators a piece of his mind, again.
"You dicks! I thought I made myself COMEPLETELY clear before, and here you go again! You bring in this fat-ass country guy, and purposely leave me out of this! I don't give a s*** if this one is meant for villains only, I deserve to be included! There's nothing special about this guy at all!", yelled Firestorm, still weirding everybody else.
"Now hold on for a second, amigo, I see what you're getting at with this, and It's mah duty to inform you that God made it so that we're all special in our own way, for me, it's mah banjo playin'", said Mr. Banjo before Firestorm walked off camera, and the sound of a nuclear blast was heard, followed by Mr. Banjo getting crushed by a very tall, fallen oak tree turned to iron. Then Firestorm comes back on screen to say something else.
"I'm telling you a*****es for the last time! STOP PULLING THIS S*** OR YOU'LL FRICKIN' REGRET IT!", yelled Firestorm before he flew off, leaving the villains all alone in the woods.
"So, who wants first dibs?", asked Grodd holding up the champagne bottle, then Luthor picks up the cork that hit him in the eye and throws it against Grodds belly.
"Idiot", said Luthor.
Skit 7: Rainbow Dash was teamed up with Batman for a night time mission: someone's been targeting various locations all over Canterlot, and there's a chance the castle of Luna and Celestia will be next. Batman and Rainbow were moving across the rooftops, until they reached their destination: The First Bank of Canterlot.
"What makes you think the guys behind the attacks on Canterlot will show up here?", asked Ranbow, "Cause if ya ask me, I'd say this a load of horse feed".
"Well I'm not asking you for anything, dipsh**, and I'm telling YOU that my calculations tell me the culprits will go for the castle after they hit the bank, so until they make their move, we wait", said Batman, right before they he and Rainbow were approached from behind by a short guy, wearing a cheaply made Batman costume, and it's none other than the Robot Chicken Nerd.
"I can't tell how much it means to me to fight by your side as your ward! I would've made myself look like Robin, but the Robin costume got caught on fire by still lit discarded cigarette, setting my whole body on fire while I was screaming like a little girl running around like a crazy guy. Hey, after this, you wanna visit my place and get a look at my kick ass Batman diorama?!", yelled the Nerd, who was having the time of his life, while Batman and Rainbow were annoyed to hell because of him.
"You had to hold that contest were the winner would team up with you for a night, didn't you?", asked Rainbow in an irritated manner as she whispered to Batman.
"Get off my ass, kid, I didn't even count on any loser winning that contest, I was just waiting until the contest was over so I could bat-poop on those sorry saps who lost", said Batman.
"Yeah, well....*boom*", said Rainbow before she was abruptly cut off by an explosion at the bank just across the street.
"Looks like they're here", said Rainbow.
"Let's move", said Batman as he and Rainbow descended from the rooftop and approached the bank, while the Nerd takes a fire escape down, and then reaches the bank as well. Part of the bank was wrecked and in flames, and written on the wall next to the main entrance, was a riddle.
"This is so cool! Not quite 'Transformers 4' cool, but way cooler than '300: Rise of an Empire'! If '300: Rise of an Empire' was a 0 cool and 'Transformers 4' was a 10 cool, than this would be a 7 cool!!", shouted the Bat-Nerd, while Batman and Rainbow studied the riddle.
"'Riddle Me This: what's tall, ghostly, and spent way too much time in the white room?'", said Batman as he read the riddle out loud, and from the roof of the bank, a fiendish figure jumped down to greet the trio, and it was none other than, Anarky, (voiced by Wallace Langham in 'Beware The Batman'), the ghost-like opposite of Batman, the champion of destruction.
"That would be me! Good to see you again, Batman! And I see you brought along a couple of young companions, who I'm sure the Riddler will make quick work of while I deal with you", said Anarky.
"Who are you?", asked a very confused Rainbow and Bat-Nerd in unison.
"Wha-? I'm Anarky, you little turds! The ghostly opposite of Batman?! The true champion of destruction?! The ultimate anarchist?! One of the best masterminds in the multiverse?!", shouted Anarky, clearly frustrated with dealing with a pair of kids who don't know the slightest thing about him.
"It's a 9 cool!", shouted the Nerd.
"Eh, never heard of ya", said Rainbow, brushing off Anarky like he's a waste of time.
"That doesn't matter anyway! I'm going to rain destruction on the rest of Canterlot, Batman, once I've finished up with the castle, the very thing that symbolizes hope for this town! And victory will be mine!", yelled Anarky.
"Here's what I heard: blah blah blah victory blah blah sore loser, now this the part where I kick your ass senseless and make you whine for mercy", said Batman.
"Good luck, like I said: you're not the only one with backup in hand, now!", shouted Anarky, and that's when the Riddler pops out behind the trio, backed up by his own crew.
"Hello, Dark Knight and friends! I hope you've lived to the fullest, because now, you'll face the might of The Riddler! The Exclaimer! The Comma! The Quotes! And together we are: The Punctuation Posse!", yelled Riddler as he was shortly joined by four others, while the trio stood in complete boredom.
"Seriously?!", yelled Batman.
"Yeah yeah, I know what I said before, but I figured I might as well give the Posse thing another go, just to see if I'm wrong or not", said Riddler.
"Oh, it's wrong alright", said Batman.
"That bringing in this team again was a waste of time?", asked Riddler.
"That, and their leader came up with a team that's so un-original! 'Punctuation Posse'? Please!", said the Nerd.
"Forget this! Let's just fight already!", shouted Rainbow, and all hell breaks loose, starting with Rainbow and the Nerd taking on the Punctuation Posse, Rainbow goes after Comma with fast-flying kick that sends him across town. Then, Rainbow makes her move on the Quotes just by bashing their heads together, leaving them out cold. The Nerd takes his stand against Exclaimer with nothing but a make-shift batarang, he tosses it hard enough so it works right but Exclaimer ducks in time, and the Nerd got himself spinning a little bit, and before Exclaimer could attack, Rainbow flies in with a solid left hook that leaves him falling flat on his face in time for the Nerd to get his wits about, catches his fake batarang, and prides himself, believing he did that. Then the Riddler comes in from behind using his cane to try to take a swing at the Nerd, only for Rainbow to intercept that swing, snatch the cane, and smacks Riddler up-side the head, while the Nerd uses a bat-taser on Riddler and wins it. While Batman and Anarky were trading various punches and kicks, then falling back on their weaponry, then resorting to practical methods such as crotch kicking, biting, eye-poking, ham-boning, slapping, and even rock-paper-sissors, and the fight ends when Batman grabs a stray paper bag, puts it over Anarky's head, distracting him long enough for Batman to punch Anarky, and literally kick him in the ass to knock him to the ground. An armored police truck shows up in time to haul away the villains, Batman, Rainbow, and the Nerd watched proudly as Riddler was the last on to board the truck, until he stopped to say what was on his mind.
"I never should've brought those turd-lovers back together! That's the last time I try to put together my own criminal organization. By the way, I have something for you three. Riddle Me This: what's the most offensive appendage on the human body, but comes in a set of two? It's these guys!", shouted Riddler as he uses both hands to give the trio 'the finger'. Batman proved to be the most irritated of the three as he walked up to Riddler, kicked him in the crotch, bent both of his middle fingers backwards, punched him a few times in the face, and tosses him in the truck and slams the doors before the truck drives off.
"Let's just get out of here", said Batman.
"Hey, you remember what that guy said about his Robin costume catching on fire cause it wasn't fire-proof?", asked Rainbow.
"Yeah, so?", asked Batman.
"Well.....", said Rainbow and then she points to what was going on, and Batman understood what she meant, and it was the Nerd running around with his fake Batman costume on fire, screaming in terror.
"AAAHHHHH! I'M ON FIRE!! AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY! AAHH HELP! HELP ME! SAVE ME, BATMAN!! AAHHHH!!!!", screamed the Nerd while Batman and Rainbow stood idly by and watched.
"So now what?", asked Rainbow, while giving Batman a moment to think, and he finally had an answer.
"If anyone asks, we don't know him, and that uh, he set himself on fire to get attention", said Batman.
"Right", said Rainbow, and so they just take off, leaving a helpless fake costume wearing Nerd engulfed in flames.
Skit 8: At the Hall of Doom, the clueless Toyman is the victim of another sick prank by the rest of the Legion. It starts off with Penguin luring Toyman to an empty corridor.
"Hey Toyman! I got something for ya! It's right over here!", shouted Penguin.
"Oh, what is it?! I 'm practically glowing with excitement!", shouted Toyman.
"Come over and see for yourself!", shouted Penguin, and when Toyman approached the corridor, he's hit upside the head with a baseball bat by Luthor, with Scarecrow, Grodd, and Mirror Master behind him, all holding workshop tools ranging from saw blades to hammers, and that's they drag and unconscious Toyman into a random room and lock the door behind them. A few hours later, Toyman wakes up, a little dazed, and tries to get up off some kind of table but can't feel his legs and falls off, right in front of a mirror, and when he focuses his view, he's petrified of what he saw.
"AAAHHH!!!! Holy f***ing sh**!!! My legs!! They're gone!! Who would do such a thing?!", demanded Toyman, and that's when Luthor comes in with an insidious grin on his face.
"That would be me!", shouted Luthor.
"Luthor, you smooth-headed dick! What happened to my legs?!", demanded Toyman.
"I'm glad you asked", said Luthor, right before he picks up Toyman, loads him onto a cart, and strolls him around to different rooms in the Hall of Doom. He shows Toyman that his legs were cut off as some sick way of fixing some wood-based situations: There's Mirror Master reading a book while sitting back in a chair made from part of one of Toyman's legs, along with Scarecrow being able to fix up his old regular scarecrow, and even Penguin was able to make a little penguin figurine out of one of Toyman's feet.
So what do you think?", asked Luthor.
"I'll admit, it was a little unorthodox of you Luthor, but this way, I was able to put my legs to better use around here!", shouted Toyman.
"I thought you'd feel that way, so you'll be really glad with how Godd put the rest of your legs to good use", said Luthor.
"Wait, what?", asked Toyman, right before Grodd came out of the bathroom with a half- broken wooden plunger.
"Bad news everyone: the toilet's still clogged, and this cheap-ass plunger I made out of the rest of Toyman's legs is crap!", shouted Grodd as he tosses the busted plunger aside and leaves, while Luthor brings up a smirk again, and Toyman is completely stunned.
"So, what do you think of that", asked a devious Luthor.
"I hate you", said Toyman.
"You sure do, buddy, you sure do", said Luthor.
Skit 9: It's right in Ponyville's town square, Twilight was helping Cyborg and The Flash take down Captain Cold, Bitch Pudding, and Composite Santa, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders had a front row seat to the action.
"My money's on Flash! He's super fast, and totally reminds me of Rainbow!", shouted Scootaloo.
"Cyborg seems a lot cooler, if you ask me!", shouted Sweetie Belle.
"Quiet, y'all! The fight's just getting better!", shouted AppleBloom, and the fight intensifies indeed, from Twilight using a magic shield to repel gunfire from Composite Santa, to Cyborg and Bitch Pudding exchanging various punches, kicks, and laser fire, to Flash staying one step ahead of Captain Cold's ice ray while circling back multiple times to punch him. The fight was going to reach it's end, until an unexpected speed bump complicates things.
"Give up now, girly! And I'll try not to leave a lump of coal on your grave!", shouted Composite Santa, over his own machine gunfire.
"Nice try! Why don't you and your allies just give up?!", demanded Twilight.
"Why don't YOU go (bleep) yourself and let me pull your damn horn off so that I can jam it up road rage's a****le and use robo-retard's laser gun to take a s*** in?!", yelled Bitch Pudding, right before everyone stopped, completely shocked by what she said.
"That is some of THE most disrespectful thing I've ever heard anyone say in my life so far!", shouted Twilight.
"Not as disrespectful as your ass", said Bitch Pudding.
"That's cold", said Cyborg.
"Whoa whoa whoa, time out! Bitch Pudding, we came here to kill off these losers, not act like ten-time jackasses while we're at it", said Captain Cold.
"That reminds me: you can go and lick my icicle, lame ass! And Composite Turd over there can get me a shovel for Christmas so I can break it over his f***ing neck!", shouted Bitch Pudding right before Captain Cold froze her in her place with his freeze ray.
"I told you Captain Cold would put you on ice!", shouted Captain Cold, and then Composite Santa walks up to a frozen Bitch Pudding with a shovel in hand.
"Well, you said you wanted a shovel, so Merry f***ing Christmas, bitch!", shouted Composite Santa as he smashed the frozen Bitch Pudding to pieces with the shovel. And by the time he was done, he and Captain Cold were admiring their handy-work, while the three heroes, even the Crusaders, were incredibly freaked out by what just happened.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!", yelled Twilight.
"She wanted you to go (bleep) yourself, then pull your horn off to jam it straight up Flash's ass, and use Cyborg's cannon to take a crap in", said Captain Cold, before those three gave it a moment to think about what he said.
"Good point", said Flash.
"Same here", said Cyborg.
"Definitely, she'd better hope Tartarus goes easy on her", said Twilight, and then there's Tartarus, the Underworld for demons, where a slew of demons are lying dead near some lava pits, and then another demon comes out of nowhere with Bitch Pudding on it's back, rapidly bashing it's head.
"You winged turd! How do I get out of this s*****le?!", demanded Bitch Pudding as the demon fell to the ground, with her still on top of him.
"You can't! There's no way out through Cerberus! You're trapped here just like the rest of us!", shouted the demon in complete terror.
"Well, in that case...", said Bitch Pudding as she snaps that demon's neck, and let's out a fearsome yell, while the scene goes back to the others in town square.
"Eh, she'll be fine", said Captain Cold.
Skit 10: It's morning, and the Justice League are invited to celebrate Applejack's birthday in some open patch of field in the Everfree Forest, and they've just arrived, only to find nothing.
"You sure this is where they'd meet us?", asked Batman.
"That's what it says on the invite", said Aquaman as he pulls out the invite with the directions on it, then Batman snatches it and tears it up.
"Invites are pointless. Let's just get out of here", said Batman, and they were about to leave, until they spot the Mane 6 coming in from the other side of the field, just as confused as they were.
"I say, what are you all doing here?", asked Rarity.
"We were gonna ask you the same thing. How come you didn't set up for Applejack's birthday? We basically passed off our day off for this", said Superman.
"That's weird, we got an invitation from YOU guys to celebrate Aquaman's birthday", said Twilight.
"Invites are pointless, if ya ask me", said Rainbow.
"That's what I said!", shouted Batman.
"Except mah birthday ain't for another two months", said Applejack.
"Mine isn't until next July", said Aquaman.
"You know, I'm curious as to who really sent us those invites", said Twilight.
"I don't see how, they look pretty normal to me", said Robin.
"Except they're written in crayon and the penmanship looks that of that of a two year old", said Twilight, "Which no doubt means that someone lured us out here".
"Damn it!", shouted Luthor from the west side of the field, and also stepping in are the rest of the Legion of Doom, along with Ahuizotl and his own followers, "I told you your writing skills sucked balls, Toyman! I knew I should've written those fake invites myself!"
"Hey! You asked me to write those! I don't see this is MY fault!", shouted Toyman.
"Enough of this foolishness! Let's crush them right now!", shouted Ahuizotl, right before Mr. Banjo comes in, again.
"Now it's time for Mr. Banjo to shine again!", and there goes Mr. Banjo, playing his banjo again while hell breaks loose. The Nerd comes from nowhere, still on fire, and running around in terror. Superman uses his heat vision to zap the belts off of Scarecrow and Two-Face, making their pants fall, leaving them humiliated. Ahuizotl repeatedly slams Hawkman on the ground with his tail, while Applejack and Booster Gold try to dog-pile him. Wonder Woman punches and throws each of Ahuizotl's followers that come her way. Rarity and Rainbow help tackle Black Manta while Green Arrow punches him in the gut. Batman and Robin gang up on Solomon Grundy and kick him rapidly while Fluttershy apologizes for every kick they dish out. Pinkie then covers Grodd with confetti while Swamp-Thing uses him as a giant mallet, and swings him around, knocking a bunch of other villains or followers out of the field. Twilight uses her magic to hold Luthor still while Spike hits him upside the head with a candy cane he was saving. The fight intensified, until Firestorm shows up, even more furious than ever at Mr. Banjo as he breaks the fourth wall yet again.
"UNBELIEVABLE!!! You are a bunch of pathetic, useless, self-serving bastards! You know what?! Screw you all!! You might as well pull a pencil out of your ass, and just freakin' write me off for all I care! I'm done with you dicks! Go ahead and replace me with some other nuclear guy, I quit!!", shouted Firestorm as he left the field, but not before dishing out a very strong nuclear blast at Mr. Banjo, powerful enough to send him flying. Then, after a moment of silence, the fight resumes.
"Hey Luthor, I think I can get you out of there! I just need a chainsaw, and five dozen plastic guns!", shouts Toyman.
"Yeah yeah, that's nice, now stop messing around and leave me alone. Go back to the Hall of Doom and play around with your building blocks or something!", shouted Luthor, and having just about enough of this bad treatment that's been dished out on him, Toyman finally loses his temper.
THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!", yelled Toyman, so loud that everyone just stopped right in their tracks, "I'm so sick and tired of this crap! You guys are ALWAYS treating like a second-rate douche! I'm a proud member of the Legion of Doom, and I demand some respect!", shouted Toyman.
"Turd!!", shouted Batman after flinging a batarang that got stuck in Toyman's back.
"This is just some big misunderstanding! The rest of the JLA were like that with me, too! From calling me 'Aqua-puss', to farting in my soda, even eating my neighbors! My point is, they gave me a hard time, but in the name of family", said Aquaman.
"Is that true?", asked Toyman.
"Sounds like it, after all, some friends or family will do that kind of thing just to express happiness to others", said Twilight.
"It's true, Toyman, we treated you like s*** for way too long, but it was all for the sake of friendship! And to prove it, let's all agree to end this fight, and go out for a night on the town! We'll do whatever you wanna do, Toyman, so what do ya have in mind?", asked Luthor.
"Well, there was this one thing...", said Toyman, and then the scene shifts to Manehattan, where all four groups are gathered together in a theater, watching a run on 'The Sound of Music'.
"This is how the third Robot Chicken DC Comics Special ends?! With us all watching a dumb-ass play like it's Broadway or something? Are all of you really that stupid?!", yelled Jimmy Olsen, realizing it was not the best idea of him to say that, as the four groups end up enraged toward him.
"Get him!!", yelled Batman, and the special ends with Olsen getting his ass kicked by one huge army of some seriously pissed-off characters, just wanting to watch a play.
Author's Note
I hope you all enjoyed this hilarious story of mine! Try not to be like Mr. Banjo, unless you want Firestorm to come to your house and turn you into smelly socks! Boom!
