Ţ̴̡̨h̶̀͝e͟͜ ̵̕͠G̸̀l̴̕i͏̶̸̧̨t̡́̀̕͡c̵̨̕͠h̢͘͢

by a guy with many hats

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1575

When a strange piece of metal ends in Twilight's possession things get a little trippy.

When a strange piece of metal ends in Twilight's possession things get a little trippy.

Published 2014-07-29 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-29 01:00:01 UTC

Rise Of Technicolor Madness

Twilight stared at the square metal piece laying on the table. The perfectly smooth square was strange, too perfect, too smooth, and far too advanced to belong to any pony. Even the DJ Vinyl Scratch couldn't match this, and no magic could machine metal so well without years of work and this, thing, had cropped up on her doorstep maybe a day ago.

Now it just sat on her table, mocking her with its secrets. No books would ever tell of it, nothing in equestrian history ever mentioned a solid metal chip like this, not even Discord knew what it was. Not Celestia, not Luna, no one Twilight asked could tell her anything of the thin metallic wafer on her table.

"I mean- it's gotta be something," she mumbled walking around and lifting her hooves high with each step. "Think Twilight, think, you're smart, you can figure this out." She continued to prance around, her gait getting higher and higher as she got more annoyed with her inability to grasp what purpose the featureless metal might hold. "Maybe it's a key! But...it doesn't have any grooves or teeth. Maybe it's a- no...no features. Oh, maybe it's a- no...that doesn't make any sense either."

Twilight stopped pacing, her tail held high as she did her best not to yell. It had to be something, but she just couldn't find out what, and that little annoyance was enough to send her into a tizzy. It was placed on her step for a reason, it had to have some purpose. Twilight's mane grew a bit frazzled as she started to hyperventilate. "It's- maybe-- no!" She continued to pace, staring at the floor and subconsciously walking in a figure-eight, "Maybe- maybe it's just here to make me crazy! Maybe it's a test! Maybe it's--" Twilight was cut off as the square metal disk picked itself up off the table, lining up with her and hurtling at her.

"Ahh!" she yelped, bracing for the impact. But the disk simply pressed against her forehead and slid in without a single wound or cut. It just disappeared into her head like magic. "What the--" she stopped again, her vision going jet black before being replaced by static.

User profile uploaded, running CRACKSHIP.EXE

Twilight tried to rub her eyes, finding her entire body paralyzed. She started to panic as all her senses shut down, leaving her completely in the dark. It only lasted for a moment before she came back to reality, rubbing her eyes and looking around. She was back in the library, but something was odd.

Her vision was about two or three feet higher than before. Her posture felt strange too, and something warm between her legs felt wrong. She shifed her hooves, the tapping bringing her ears back to attention.

"Twilight...please...I'm waiting." Shining Armor's voice cried out, his breathing low and shallow, "LBBFF, remember...you promised."

"Wha--" Twilight stopped herself as she realized her voice was no longer her own. It was low, husky, manly. And a quick turn around found Shining Armor bent over a stack of books, pussy dripping and hand gently spreading her/his lips. "What the buck!?" she yelped, stepping back and trying to lift her forelegs up to block the horrid sight. She found that not only had Shining Armor abandoned his manhood, Twilight was now a bipedal boy with incestuous ties to what should be her brother. "What is this, I don't--"

Shining Armor lifted his mare plot, pulling his tail to the side and revealing a tender plothole. "Please...just fuck me, I don't care where, I just wanna feel close to you--"

"What is going on!?" Twilight screamed, her senses fading out again. She felt as if she was deprived of gravity and physical awareness.

She came to again, staring at a piece of paper as a horrid pain filled her asshole, "Owwie, owwie, owwie!" she yelped, arching her back.

"I love you Twilight...I love you so--"

"Ow!" Twilight snapped, kicking her back legs out and ridding her body of the intruder with an audible thud. "What the buck!?" she snapped, spinning around the room, "What is--" she stopped dead as a tan pony with a spider on his flank stared at her, looking like he was about to cry.

"Twilight...I thought--"

The bookish pony started panicking as she spotted the tan pony's peck standing in the air, her rump still burning slightly. "What is going on!? Celestia? Luna? Discord!?" She snapped back to the desk she had first laid eyes on, spotting a letter on it. "...Today, our guest Peter taught me- anal sex!?" she continued to read the horrid letter, "Peter's love slave-- I didn't write this!" she snapped, feeling two hooves grab her flank.

"Twilight...I need to finish--"

Twilight bucked as hard as she could, making contact and scrambling over the desk, "No no no no no--" Her vision went black again, her body feeling like she tipped over the desk.

"Suck slave...." A dour voice commanded, Twilight's breathing a bit constricted. "I said suck, please your master!"

Twilight popped her eyes open, finding a caribou before her eyes. But that wasn't exactly the most pressing matter, as the stench riddled cock before her eyes was a bit more distracting. Twilight was thrown once again into a horrid situation, but apparently there was no hope, or so it felt.

"Um...no!" She snapped, pulling back and falling to her back. The caribou just stared into space, staring endlessly at some far off point. Twilight looked down, her body graced with hands yet again, but her wrists bound with rope. She looked back up at the caribou, who appeared to either be brain dead or locked in an insane epiphany. "Um...hello? Hi, can you let me--"

"Rape!" the caribou yelped, "Rape! Rape! Rape!"

Before long a few others popped out of the surrounding bushes, "Rape!? Rape! Rape!"

Little by little Twilight found herself surrounded by caribou, all yelping rape like some evil puppet or machine. "Celestia, no!" Twilight shouted, bringing her wrists up. All the books she'd read on how to meet a stallion, all the books on courting, her pretend dates with Flash Sentry, all for nothing as she got mobbed by mentally deficient moose people.

But as she opened her eyes she found herself in a white room once again. This one completely blank except for a strange bipedal creature sitting on a black box. He looked stunned, "Uh...I- I don't think you're supposed to be here." he stated, scratching his head.

Twilight looked around the room, letting her breath slow down to a reasonable degree. "Okay, okay Twilight, alright, we're safe, we're gonna--"

The monkey person stood up, "Someone wanna fix this!? Like, today would be nice!" the monkey yelled to space, turning in a sharp circle. "Hello?"

Twilight just stared at the creature, cocking her head. "Wait...why- do I know--"

The human snapped to attention, "No! You don't know me...you don't...I promise you don't."

Twilight's eyes went wide as she realized who this was, "You're the jerk from--" Twilight's voice was cut off as she was plopped into the void once again. This time, opening her eyes to find herself back at home, "-the cas- oh...is it over?" She took a step, feeling something hit the floor. "...Seriously?" she asked the air, looking between her legs and finding an elephant sized cock dragging agiainst the floor. "This isn't funny!" she snapped, using her magic and banishing the over sized penis. But with another puff and thud it came right back. "No!"

Twilight got into an impromptu fight with her own magical mare cock, making it vanish only to have it return seconds later. "Come on! This is a test right? This is to show how calm I am under pressure, or to show good judgment in--" Twilight was cut off as the door was thrown open.

Rainbow Dash flew into the room, her elongated dick flapping in the breeze, "Hey Twilight, check this--"

Twilight popped Rainbow Dash's dick into fluttery pink dust, throwing off her balance and causing her to crash into a bookshelf. "Not right now Rainbow Dash, things are--" Twilight went blind yet again, her hooves falling out from under her.

She snapped awake back in the library, staring ahead as the metal disk slowly slid out of her forehead and dropped against the floor. ERROR--ERROR-ERR....

Twilight continued to stare ahead as the chip beeped its dying beeps, "...Spike...?"

"Hold on!" Spike called out, running his stubby legs down the steps of the library, "Coming!" Spike hopped down, his feet slapping against the ground as he waddled over. "What's up?"

Twilight looked down at the metal disk on the floor. "...Spike...take a letter."

In a flash Spike pulled a quill and parchment from thin air, "Ready!"

Twilight brought her hoof down, crushing the metal chip under her tread. "Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned sometimes trash on your doorstep is just trash, and over thinking it will get you into some terrible situations."

Spike finished up, "Um...is that it?"

Twilight nodded, "I'm sure I sent her something like that before, but...I don't know. It's a good lesson. Like, don't worry about being perfect, nobody's perfect."

A dull voice cut in, "True, but sucking is still pretty bad." In walked a man with a green mask over his face, "Oh...and that the ride never ends. Right nerd horse?"

Author's Note