Coal Doesn't Make Diamonds

by PurplePolymath

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Snips, Silver Spoon, Snails, Cheerilee
Length: 7066

Day after day Snails just keeps appearing and pestering poor, precious, "flawless" Diamond Tiara in her well earned mansion. She doesn't know how he keeps getting in after she keeps throwing him out, but Snails' heart never taught

Day after day Snails just keeps appearing and pestering poor, precious, "flawless" Diamond Tiara in her well earned mansion. She doesn't know how he keeps getting in after she keeps throwing him out, but Snails is determined and dense. a deadly combination for the soft-hearted deed he has in mind.

Published 2014-07-29 06:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-29 06:20:02 UTC

Coal & Cold

The children all frolic and chased one another around and about the school’s courtyard. Some spun on merry wheels and others swung from the swaying swings, all smiling and happy to no longer have their noses buried between books… all but two.

One still cross, fuming from an encounter with her best friend. The second was filled with sorrow, due to the absence of his fellow simple-minded companion.

“I can’t stand her, I do everything she says and she has the nerve to get mad at me the one time I decide I want an afternoon to myself, is that too much to ask for!?”

“Umm… well, I…”

Silver Spoon had abruptly taken a seat beside Snails the moment she’d saw him alone the same as she was. The two had been together on the small green bench for some time now, almost the entire recess. She hadn’t paid mind to his uncomfortable shifting of the sudden discussion thrown his way as he watched the filly gesture her hooves in a huff here and there as she spoke of her pig-headed friend.

“I mean really, like when her back is killing her and I offer to rub it for her it’s fine! But then when I wanna share an ice cream she’s all, Like, ew Silver, why would you wanna lick each other’s germs, gag me with a spoon.

“I hate that pun, serves her right for getting sick, hmph!” the filly folded her forehooves

Now Snails was a slow-witted fellow, but he wasn’t a complete fool, he had sense. He just didn’t use it… as often as he should, but he was smart enough to know the difference between joy and misery. He’d never questioned their relationship before, though it was obvious Silver Spoon wasn’t happy now, so why? And then it came to him, so clearly! Why not ask?

Silver Spoon was still silent, her petite cheeks puffed, muzzle scrunched as she tried her best to swallow down her frustration, now was the perfect time. The unicorn took a deep breath and exhaled all the uncertainty she could.

“Ah… S-Silver Spoon, if—“

“Celestia that filly ticks me off!” she threw her hooves to the air. “We’re supposed to be friends but I just cater to her every whim. And now my mom thinks I might be a lesbian, she said she’ll love me no matter what, but, I don’t know what that is!”

To Snails it seemed as though she were just hurling her thoughts at him one after the other, her unnecessary hoof moments weren’t helping either. Truthfully Snails wanted to know exactly what a les-bi-an was himself, but that was a tale for another time and place. For now he had to speak up, soon… somehow. He had to stop sweating like a nervous wreck, though this was only their first actual conversation ever and he was being shouted at.

“My mom tells me not to worry about it, but I don’t really know what it is, I told her how I feel I’m stuck with that brat and… how I don’t think I’ll ever lose her no matter what. But, if that makes me one of those then that means the whole town must be filled with them and… if I’m one them—“

Now Snails was confused again, why would anypony want to be with someone they’d spent the better part of twenty-minutes insulting? Silver Spoon’s words had slowly become a blur, nothing registering as he mentally prepared himself once again.

“Silver Spoon?” he voice louder than before, but not near the volume of shouting.

“What is it?” she furrow a brow at the rude little unicorn who’d suddenly interrupted while she poured her heart out to him.

“If… you d-don’t like Diamond Tiara, then uh… why do you hang out with her?” he rubbed a hoof against the back of his neck, expecting an insult and dismissal of his simplistic question, he knew he wasn’t the brightest.

Instead he was shocked to see the sorrow on her face, the long sigh as she seemed to have expelled all of her previous anger. Her head hung, hooves falling to her lap.

“… The first time I’d really gotten mad at D.T, I talked to my mom about it and she told me something I’ll never forget. She said that deep, deep down Diamond Tiara was thankful to have a friend like me, but has a hard time showing it. She said D.T needed me, and when I thought about it I’ve never seen her hanging out with anyone else. Mom told me to think of her heart like a lump of coal, with enough heat, kindness then she’d eventually return to how she was the first few weeks we’d met… before her mom left… Besides, she’s actually a lot nicer to me outside of school.”

Snails was glad to finally have some kind of understanding, to have an answer, but, I never made anyone sad before, He hadn’t thought it was such a difficult question, he was beginning to wish he’d just kept quiet like usual. Worst of all it was a filly he barely knew, he had no idea what to do at all.

“Like a foal I believed my mom, and I still believe her… I have to. It isn’t right to just give-up on a friend, especially if you don’t actually hate them. Still,” she looked up to the clear, clean skies,” I wish I knew what was missing, I can only be so warm for so long.”

That’s it! he mused to himself with a smile. He wasn't much for books without illustrations, but he definitely paid attention during field trips. Last month for example, at the museum Ms.Cheerliee was explaining mineral deposits, diamonds, and… a lot of things he couldn’t quite remember right now, but he definitely recalled the lecture on diamonds; they were just so shiny and dazzling up close.

Though as he thought of the coal itself he remembered that coal wasn’t exactly what diamonds were formed from, but he learned during his first year with Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara that they hated being corrected, ever, especially by him.

“I can help you, with Diamond Tiara,” he said with glee.

His mannerisms were just so irregular, goofy sounding to most that it was difficult to take him seriously or know to acknowledge when he was. Not to mention he and Snips mostly caused trouble when trying to help others.

Silver Spoon blinked her eyes in disbelief. You? No, stay away from her. She gets headaches easily when she’s sick, you’ll just add more pressure to her constant aches!” she’d begun wavering a hoof of disapproval. “She’s even worse when she’s sick, like it’s an excuse for her act like a gigantic—“

“Everyone, it’s time to return to class,” their teacher emerged from the building as the bell rang to signal the class period’s resume, "recess is over now.”

The school day progressed the same as any other, the scent of chalk upon blackboard, textbooks the size of their desks, and lectures that left most every student begging to die of boredom and be reborn as the bell rung. The day had past… and unfortunately everypony lived through the entire lesson, it just wasn’t fair being burdened with an excellent teacher.

Silver Spoon had rushed out the door the moment the bell sound, ensuring Ms.Cheerliee couldn’t ask her to deliver homework to her sick-snob of a best friend today.

Snails approached Ms.Cheerliee’s desk as the rest of his classmates hurried home, all in hopes of finding refuge from learning in their own way. Their teacher had taken to the take of clearing the blackboard with her trusty eraser, though no one ever questioned why she referred to it as such. She returned to her desk, smiling and humming a tune nobody in her class’ age-range had ever heard of, she found pride in providing ponies of the future with their fundamental education, her smile was proof of that.

“Here you go Snails, tell Snips we’re all looking forward to his recovery,” she spoke in her emphatic, soothing and yet somehow still authoritative tone as she handed the unicorn his friend’s homework.

“Uhh… yes ma’am “Snails gave a silly salute, he couldn’t help but smile back, smiles were just infectious to him.

It was true Ms.Cheerliee worried about Snails, but he was still a very well-behaved student. She believed that one day he’d have grades that echoed his behavior. She looked down at the extra sheet on her desk, she raised a brow as she thought it queer that it hadn’t been picked up yet.

“Silver Spoon always takes Diamond Tiara her homework, though she seemed to be in quite a rush when the ball rang. I suppose I’ll just have to take it over to Mr.Filthy myself,” she sighed.

“Uhh… I can do it!”

“Oh, my... I didn’t know you and Diamond Tiara were friends. Actually I’d thought—“

“Yep! We’re friends alright, I’ll make sure she gets her homework.”

Snails was ecstatic, if he and Silver Spoon could get along for an afternoon then why couldn’t he and Diamond Tiara do the same? It seemed as though his chance had come sooner than he thought, after all he was only dropping off an assignment, nothing more.

“Well, are you sure it isn’t too much trouble?” she asked with a hint of concern, she’d already let him carry over all the get-well-soon cards to Snips last week. And she knew Snails wasn’t a liar, it just wasn’t in his nature as he only knew how to speak what he felt.

He nodded to his teacher, taking the worksheet from the desk and fitting it into his saddle bag and waved goodbye as he ran out the door.

“He’d almost missed Ms.Cheerliee’s, “Thank you,” as he made his hastened exit.

He’d made it to Snip’s house in no time, he handed the paper to his mother and slipped in for only a second to see Snips' condition. Snips was asleep as he expected, until Snails decided on having a closer, silent look, however silence was never a specialty of his. As he tried his best to quietly approach he’d managed to trip on a plastic colt and awoke his friend with a loud thud as he crashed to the floor, he had a habit of letting down his legs.

Snips was indeed sick, still, he smiled at the sudden appearance of his welcomed friend who always made him do the same without fail.

“Did you tell her I’m sorry yet?” Snips sniffled and wiggle his plump little reddened snout. He’d become victim of the common cold.

“Ahh… not yet, but I’m going to tell her after I leave her, I promise. I left your homework with your mom,” he tried not to speak too loudly to his friend as he took the miniature colt from the floor and set it upon the self.

“Thanks,” he coughed, giving a weary smile before turning over and stuffing himself in his blanket.

Lately their encounters where never long, his mother didn’t want Snails to become sick the same as her own son.

Snails had already made his way to the door, “Don’t forget to drink lots of orange juice,” his final words before he wished Snips' mother a pleasant evening and departure toward his next destination.

Diamond Tiara’s house wasn’t hard to find, it was enormous, and she just so happened to brag about it so much that nearly everypony in class knew where to find it. The filly had invited the entire class over only once to celebrate her new pool, he’d only seen the extravagance she experienced everyday one time.

He gulped hard as he reached in his saddlebag for the homework he’d come to deliver. Just as Snails had summoned the courage to knock, the door opened, and out came the richest equine in all of Ponyville. With furrowed brow he eyed the unicorn, their conversation was surprisingly short. The little foal explained himself to her father and to his surprise he was let inside to greet the aristocrat’s daughter.

Once he found himself inside he’d also found himself lost and overwhelmed by the spacious wealth of the home. Eventually a maid came to his aid and guided him to Diamond Tiara’s domain.

Yet again a door stood before him and his destination. The maid gave him the warning to watch the filly’s unhealthy temper rather than her temperature and she left him to his fate. He faced the door with the opposite of a brave face, he knocked three times… no answer came, and so he knocked three more times. Five minutes passed without a sound, he bit his lip and braced himself for any wrath he would face as his hoof turned the handle.

Upon entrance he discovered the room was as posh as the rest of the mansion, although pink was the hue for most he saw here, as he genuinely expected; most he laid his eyes on was the color of chewing gum. The room smelled like cotton candy, and most of the toys and games he saw were things he swore weren’t supposed to be released until next year.

Given his nature he’d managed to lose part of his balance on one of her possessions, a doll with a face Snails felt far too painted. By the time he’d managed to find his balance once again, he observed the doll, he still couldn't help but think it a bit silly. Suddenly a jolt hit his little heart, his eyes dilated as he began to realize the weight of here he where.

“I’m… in a g-girl’s room, and not just any girl, but D—“

"Achoo!"

He’d lost his train of thought, he hadn’t imagined it, had he? He steadily paced his breaths, as the same couldn’t be said for his eyes, they’d begun racing here to there. This was his first time in a girl’s room, it was a shame that fear had slain his boyish curiosity… well, most of it.

Now as he tread the room three times the size of his own, he did so with caution as he came closer to a certain sound he thought he’d heard. It really was a challenge for him to wrap his head around the sheer size of the room and teddy bears in rows and ribbons twice his height.

“Achoo!”

There it was again, it only took a few more step to see the filly confined to her bed. Blowing her nose with tissue Snails imagined as soft as silk or the clouds in the sky. Her rich nose was red as well, the same as Snips.

It wasn’t long before she noticed the droopy unicorn staring at her. Her own eyes widened as she could only imagine how long he’d stood there… watching her in dead silence, it took all of her willpower to resist shrieking. She tore her covers back and veiled as much of her body as she could from the intruder.

It was obvious to tell he’d startled her, as nervous as he was he did his best to smile as he presented the sheet to the manor’s princess. His horn glowed and the paper was engulfed in its aura, it awkwardly sailed over to the earth filly, landing on her stuffy nose. She sneezed and it fell unto to her lap, her eyes of course gazing it over before she swiped it away, snarling at the naïve fool.

“Where is Silver Spoon!?” How the heck did you get in here!?” she pointed a condemning hoof at her unwarranted visitor.

Snails shield his face with a hoof, it was if he were face to face with a dragon spouting flames at him.

“Daddy should have thrown you out, or the maids should have tasered you! How did you sneak past everyone, I know you’re too dumb to get in by yourself, did Silver Spoon help you?”

To think there was somepony who actually chose to stay in the company of one so mean and cruel. The thought alone just seemed crazy when considered, but Snails had already decided that he had to be a tad crazy to have accepted all he had today. Silver Spoon’s sympathetic words echoed in his head.

“… A-Actually your dad let me in before he left, and one of the m-maids helped me find my way here. I came alone, Silver Spoon went home… she was pretty mad earlier,” he lowered his defense.

“Why would daddy ever- … Did you do something stupid to Silver Spoon!?” she growled, preparing to strike the idiot down, through sickness and health.

“No, no!” he shook his head in plea, “I told her I was gonna help you get better.”

Truthfully Filthy Rich was just surprised to learn that Diamond Tiara had another coming over to visit besides Silver Spoon, that and only after a few seconds he thought Snails was too slow-witted to be an actual danger to his sharp, sweet princess.

She threw the sheets from the bed, “So you did say something stupid. And snails-for-brains how can you help my cold go away faster? It was that stupid chicken of a friend of yours that made me sick in the first place.” She covered her muzzle with a tissue as sneezed once again.

Now that she’d thrown her covers in a fit, she revealed the sweets and comics that were hidden beneath her blanket, apparently she wasn’t that sick.

“Snips is really, reallllly sorry for knocking you into the lake… twice, he just gets really nervous around water. And …I’m not here to help you with your cold. I’m here to help you make friends. So you can be like you used to be before all the icky stuff,” as unusual as it was he smiled with his tongue set free, his kindest intentions set forward.

There was a terrible silence, it was eventually broken by a sigh, Diamond Tiara’s head hung now the same as Silver Spoon’s earlier that day. She knew exactly what he was referring to. “So you’ve been talking to Silvy…?”

“Uhh yep, and I decided I wanna be your friend.”

“… Get out.”

“Huh, but I—“

“Randolph!” she rung the bell beside her bed and beckoned her butler.

He arrived in less than ten seconds, swift for one an age as frightful as his.

“Take him away. And clean up this mess!”

“At once Mistress Tiara,” he bowed before executing her command.

She spoke of her own mess of sugar and magazines. And with that Snails was escorted out and home he went.

School started bright and early as it always did, seconds after the bell, to begin homeroom; which coincidentally was the same room and seating arrangement all day long.

Class carried on as it usually did, Ms.Cheerliee giving her lecture and some unable to keep themselves from using their desk as cradles. And just as sleep crept upon them, they were awoken by the sound, the blunt of a heavy ruler against a deck; sometimes the teacher’s, sometimes their own. Most times they were greeted with a grimace, and others a grin, if you were a student it wasn’t hard to guess which one was worse.

Soon enough the recess bell rang, and the two found themselves on the same bench as before, watching their peers, fellow classmates who less than twenty-minutes ago could hardly keep their eyes open, now spry and unable to sit still.

Snails was a bit nervous as he looked over the pony sitting next to him, the two both unspoken sidekicks to their significant companions. Today Silver Spoon was without anger or anxiety, she looked ashamed as she adjusted her designer lenses.

“D.T called me six times yesterday…” she sighed as she kept her iris to the grass, “I bet she’s pretty mad I didn’t bring her homework…”

Snails couldn’t help it, the sweating. It was only natural after doing something stupid, especially if it was something you’d been told you shouldn’t do.

“I… umm…” he gulped. Diamond Tiara would tell her sooner or later, she would give him away, if his sweating wouldn’t.

Silver Spoon was too disappointed in herself to look anypony in the eye, she was a good friend to Diamond Tiara and always had been… but after yesterday with all said and done she now questioned the notion. She was particularly harsh on herself.

“I took Diamond Tiara her homework and told her you wanted us to be friends!” He’d said the sentence so quickly, almost in a blur and all in a single breath. Guilt got the better of him in the end, he quickly covered his is muzzle, but it was far too late for that.

“You did what?” she grabbed the little nitwit by the collar, their snouts pressed uncomfortably close together as her temper rose.”

“D.T is going to kill me, I told you to stay away from her! How did you even get in, how could you even find her room?” she franticly shook him as if the answers would just fall out of his fur.

It was difficult for her to resist certain strangling urges as she looked into his big, dumb, nervous eyes. Snails told the story as quickly as he could, not surprised that Silver Spoon had the same look her friend gave him yesterday.

“Ugh! Now I definitely can’t see her today, like, thanks a lot,” she let go of the unicorn and made her exit on said satirical remark.

Snails knew he’d quite possibly made things worse, so he’d set it in his mind to make things right.

School ended and Ms.Cheerilee handed Snails both student’s worksheets after everyone had departed for home. He smiled and waved goodbye as politely as he could before he left for Snips’ abode. He wouldn’t be staying today, he needed all the time he could spare with Diamond Tiara to ensure he hadn’t screwed things up too badly.

After greeting and leaving Snips’ mother with his worksheet, he hurried toward the manor, coming to a screeching halt in front of the door. He remembered the filly’s words and taser-to-come that put him on edge, but it was his fault for interfering. He summoned his courage and found himself face to face with father once again.

“Oh, you’re back again… that’s unexpected. Go right in, and don’t worry my boy, the maids won’t taser you. I told Pumpkin how unethical that would be... aside from the pending lawsuit for using excessive force,” Filthy mumbled the last sentence to himself. He’d already left out the door after gently patting the special, young colt on his soft head, he was a very busy business colt after all.

Once inside he just sat at the foot of the door, he had no desire to become lost and as expected, a maid appeared; the same one in fact. She eyed him down until she was certain it was the same foal she’d seen yesterday.

The maid had gentle azure eyes, a mane and tail the same shade as snow, her coat was the color of sapphire. She wore the traditional maid attire complemented in black and white, despite her frosted mane she was young; she seemed around the same age as Rainbow Dash.

She was quite pleasant the past day as Snails recalled, though today she seemed exhausted, weary from work he assumed. Her horn glowed the same as her iris, she’d arrived with a silver tray and platter floating at her side.

Her smile couldn’t be found as Snails exchanged glances with the nameless help. She scowled at the manor’s guest, her now cold eyes leaving him frozen as she leaned in close, examining his head.

“Hey kid, you wouldn’t have a thing for the little imp would you?” her eyes narrowed as she awaited his answer.

Snails feverishly nod his head. “Y-yes, I have the thing right here,” he presented his classmate’s homework to the mercurial maid.

She just sighed, she was correct in assuming he wasn’t the devious sort, quick-witted so to speak. Still, he was here and he could annoy the little imp in ways she couldn’t, being told to taser him was a clear sign he got under Diamond Tiara’s skin.

She gave the little pony his personal space once again, only seconds later to have him floating beside silverware.

The maid suddenly smiled as she brought the foal to eye level, “Now, you don’t want to be tasered do you?”

Snails shook his head this time.

“And you just came to give Ms.Tiara her homework correct?”

He nodded as quickly as he could.

“Good, then let’s be on our way.”

Considering his current state he had little choice in the matter, the two ventured through the decorated halls; the floors were lined the finest rugs, portraits of the wealthiest, most proper ponies hung about the walls. The rarest flowers sitting in vases and pots with designs whose value only the cultured and mannered could comprehend. Eventually they arrived at the empresses’ room, the maid hadn’t given poor Snails much time to consider his words before she knocked on the door.

“Ms.Tiara, I’ve brought your afternoon snack,” she called out before slowly turning the handle and entering into the demon’s den. She couldn’t help but chuckle as she sent the silver tray and its contents to her bedside.

“I’ve also brought along your afternoon delight as well,” she gently sat Snails to the floor.

“My what?”

The door had already shut and the maid had made her escape before an explanation could be given.

Snails approached her bed the same as he had before, bracing himself for the demon’s bane, he presented the sheet, not looking her in the eye as he was certain he would turn to stone and shatter.

“You, again!? How do you keepgetting in, is everyone here that incompetent?” she snatched the paper from his hoof, he was wise to avoid her glaring.

She carelessly tossed it into the small pile, it wasn’t worth worrying over, she was a straight-A student after all; the work came across as easy to her. The time most spent studying, she spent being a complete brat, like now for instance.

She folded her forehooves,” Where the heck is Silver Spoon, I called her like eight times. She knows I hate when—“

“Please don’t be mad at Silver Spoon, don’t stop being her friend, it’s all my fault! She told me not to come yesterday, b-but I did anyway because—“

“I’m not mad at Silver Spoon, I’m upset because you keep showing up! … I would never stop being friends with Silvy over something so dumb, even over something as stupid as you. She’s all I have,” her last words came in a whisper.

Snails blinked, bewildered by her response, he expected shouting, sarcasm and well… something else entirely.

“Oh… umm… wow. I thought for sure you were going to tell me to—“

“Get out!” she commanded as she pointed toward the exit.

“But, ahh… I can’t. I’m supposed… to help you become a diamond again… heh,” he gave his biggest smile.

Diamond Tiara had a face that held a mix of emotions, but it was quite clearly expressed that Snails in her eyes, had said the most confusing, unsettling, and idiotic thing she’d ever heard come out of him.

Snails thought it best to speak while there was still silence, before he started sweating again.

“Well you see, if we become friends then we’ll have what we need to make a diamond. Cause, Silver Spoon is the heat and I-I’m supposed to be the pressure, because umm… diamonds aren’t actually made from coal they’re really—“

“I know how diamonds are made you reject, I’m the only kid in class with one, I already am one. Daddy reminds me every day, besides who would want to be friends with you?” she leap out of bed, red nose and all, poking at his chest and pushing him slowly toward the door.

“You can’t just meet somepony and be their friend just because you want to, it isn’t that simple.”

He was confused as to why he was being poked and prodded, but now what was more confusing was all that’d been said.

“Why not, friends are those who always make you smile, ponies you laugh with. You and Silver Spoon are always laughing and pointing at me and Snips, so... why can’t we be friends?”

It was rare when Snails actually said something that didn’t make it seem like a chimp was banging symbols in his brain. Diamond Tiara’s assault had ceased, she couldn’t find an answer, however the urge to correct him on the matter of laughing did exist, but she didn’t do so. Instead she resumed her previous notion.

“Tundra!” she shouted.

It wasn’t long before the gentle-eyed maid opened the door, smiling with glee at the obvious annoyance the imp had endured.

“Throw him out...” Now she couldn’t look him in the eye as she head toward her bed and snack hidden under silver.

“As you wish, Ms. Tiara,” she took hold of the little unicorn the same as she did before, shutting the door behind them both.

The two ventured through the halls, one tread the earth, the other air. “You’re alright kid, I’ll let you in anytime, as long as you keep doing whatever it is you’re doing, deal?” she grinned from ear to ear.

Opening the door she set him to the grass before getting a response. She waved goodbye to the confused young colt and locked the door without further word.

Morning came and school with it, the bell rung as all present students arrived on schedule.

Recess arrived and released them from their repetitive prison, and all manner of play and joy was had, except near the bench… and beneath the shade of a single tree. Snails set his haunches on the bench he’d made habit of visiting for almost a week now, to his surprise he was alone, and he had caught glimpse of a lonesome Silver Spoon underneath the shade and comfort of a healthy tree. She didn’t look sad, more so uncertain of something, she appeared the same as Snails.

He wasn’t sure what to think of yesterday, friends respected others wishes, but not all friends were like that, some were just more friendly with some than others, personal space was never a private thing. Not to mention Diamond Tiara still needed her homework one way or another.

He tried his best not to look too obvious as he witnessed a few others inviting Silver Spoon to join them in a game of tag, but she refused. He’d heard the whispers about class of her being solo and now being the one-in-a-lifetime chance to befriend her without the queen around, as far as they were concerned she was quite approachable compared to her counterpart.

Her decline was polite, strange as well, but Snails had issues of his own to consider, such as the very helpful maid. She was queer, quaint in a way, but she wasn’t what he expected a maid to be.

The bell sound and signaled them back to the classroom, until the inevitable dismissal bell, which seemed to come a bit quicker than usual today… though that tends to happen when one daydreams through most of a lesson.

The unicorn received both sheets as per usual and made his first delivery and sped to the second. The maid happily let him in and after his delivery and failed attempt at friendship once again, he was sent away.

The pattern continued for quite some time, fetching then delivering, failure, and lastly being left flat on the grass with a welcoming invitation to return anytime from said unusual housekeeper.

By the fourth day he’d made a deduction, that Diamond Tiara was faking her illness now. Her nose longer the shade of a cherry and her bed littered with sweets and a choir of magazines peeking out from under her bed, aside from the ones already joining her in blanket.

In the end he found himself outside before long, only there had been a slight change in patterns this time. Diamond Tiara asked him a question all on her own, she also didn’t spit acid or fire at him this go round.

“How has Silver Spoon been doing…?”

She seemed a bit disappointed by the answer, saddened actually. Apparently she had expected, rather feared, Silver Spoon to remain solo in her absence. However, after updating her, Snails quickly and foolishly took this as a sign to speak of Snips and this in turn had him removed from the premises. As the little-meatball was the last thing she wanted to hear about.

But progress was progress, he smiled his way home that day.

The fifth day came, the final before the weekend began. Snails had arrived at the manor as routine, he even managed to make it halfway through the halls before he found himself lost. Luckily his favorite maid was beside him, she’d been teaching him tricks to remember the mansion’s layout, for example: Using the numerous maids and butlers as checkpoints. He’d gotten a tiny bit better each day as they’d made a game of it.

Eventually they’d arrived at their destination and she wished him luck as he entered.

All tissues, medicines, and previous extra layers of her bed had been removed, replaced with new blankets. She looked lively, the same as her old self, snide, spiteful, and just a sprinkle of spoiled brat to blend it all together nicely.

Her forehooves crossed as well as one leg over another as she sat at the edge of the bed, her leg tapping against its foot insinuated she’d been waiting for a while now, but for what or whom?

“Grr, it’s about time you showed up,” she quickly glanced at the idiot she’d become accustomed to having intrude upon her domain, her eyes shut as a spot of color found her cheeks. “I’ve been talking to Silver Spoon for a couple days now, and she said she didn’t care to make any new friends until I did, no matter what I say. I hate when she says stuff like that,” she huffed with puffed cheeks.

It wasn’t hard to sense a humble or light-hearted Diamond Tiara, as it was a rarity indeed. At the moment she was simply the opposite of what she usually was, Snails couldn’t help but smile after the vocal sentiment. The little filly grit her teeth and clenched a hoof, on the verge of threatening Snails’ teeth and their removal if he didn’t get rid of that stupid grin. But, she took a deep breath and remembered what her friend had discussed with her.

“Silver Spoon also told me you’d been helping her since I’ve been gone, she said there could be worse ponies than you crawling at her feet. So I’ve decided to allow you to fetch my homework today and the next time I’m sick. So you should thank Silvy the next time you see her, is that clear?”

“Roger!” he gave the earthly princess his trademark silly salute.

Snails took the sheet from his saddlebag and handed it to his classmate who now had a stack of more than five very wide worksheets. She tossed it onto the pile, it was clear to both that no matter how bright she may be, her weekend wouldn’t entirely belong to her now.

“Uhh… I could help you with your homework, if you want,” he felt the suggestion itself was asking for a foul insult, but he received none. Although, he’d managed to give the filly a fit of hysterics, unrestrained giggling that quickly evolved to laughter as she fell backward onto her bed; the rhythm of air releasing from her body causing her to rock ever so slightly back and forth.

Progress or not she was still rude, Snails sat impatiently with a face expressing his own annoyance as the filly carried on for almost three full minutes.

After her taunting cease, she did give him one chance and he did manage to aid her in finding answers in their textbook a bit faster, either way he wasn’t all that helpful, but it was the sentiment behind it that earned him his chance and for now an unprecedented amount of time allowed to stay; a solid hour so far.

Soon her pace became too much for him and sheoffered that he tell her how school had been though his eyes, of course he didn’t know any gossip, but he sat in the back of the classroom and it had its benefits for seeing what most couldn’t behind the scenes.

He carried on for another hour or so as Diamond Tiara multitasked, giving small commentary of her own whilst doing her belated assignments. At some point he’d made the mistake of mention Snips like before and she immediately snapped the head of her pencil, giving him a glare as her only warning as he fetched her a freshly sharpened pencil. All he’d done was inform her that Snips had returned to school, a bad choice of subject nonetheless.

“I would have thrown you out by now, but I work faster when somepony is gossiping, you’re boring compared to Silver Spoon, but you’ll have to do for today.”

“Gee, thanks Diamond Tiara,” he smiled at the soft-hearted insult. It was the kindest thing she’d ever said to him, to Snails he was told that he was only a bore when Silver Spoon was considered.

He couldn’t help but spring from his haunches and show his appreciation, a gentle hug, an endearing embrace and subconscious nuzzling. Again, the head of her number two pencil snapped, broken as she found herself blushing once more, the sudden sensation almost too much for her.

“TUNDRA!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, her bell nowhere near and certainly not needed.

In seconds the maid arrived, shocked and housing a devilish grin upon seeing the two strung together. “Well, well, what do we have here? I never thought he was the type to be so forward.”

She knew she would forget the adorable, burning, flustered face of the demon foal she looked after.

“J-Just get him out of here!” she was too embarrassed to simply remove him herself.

“Alright Romeo, let’s go,” she lifted him from the floor with her horn’s will.

The door was slammed behind them, the maid couldn’t stop chuckling as they trot the halls,” I didn’t think you had it in you, guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you,” she gave him a playful nudge.

Before he knew it he found his backside on the grass, he was confused as to exactly what transpired or even what Ms.Tundra was talking about, but it wasn’t too important. He left for home with a sense of accomplishment, and welcomed the coming weekend. His mom and dad were just as free as he was during the two days of the week he enjoyed most.

“Darn it! Now it’ll take me even longer to finish this, maybe I could- no, that stupid hag maid will never let me hear the end of it if I ask her to go after him. Ugh, like, why is it always me!?” she threw herself with hooves stretched back onto the bed with a sigh, for a moment she thought she’d finish and at least have a fraction of the weekend to herself.

The weekend came and went, Ms.Cheerilee welcomed back Diamond Tiara and things seemed to have returned to normal. Her and Silver Spoon, being as snobbish and unpleasant as usual, even as they whispered and passed notes until recess finally approached.

Diamond Tiara had turned in all her make-up assignments before exiting the building for recess, just as Ms.Cheerliee had expected from her. To her surprise the wealthy filly was ambushed once she strode through the door, a certain pony pleading while invading her personal space.

“Thanks a bunch for talking to Diamond Tiara, she actually let me stay awhile before kicking me out last week.”

“Yeah… and thanks for bringing D.T her homework.”

It was still a bit weird being so friendly with Snails, so openly now. The two actually hadn’t made fun of Snips or Snails all day, it was odd resisting their targets, such natural prey.

“So… how’s Snips?” she asked, making conversation for the sake of remaining pleasant and civil.

“Oh, umm… he said he was going to keep apologizing to Diamond Tiara until she accepts his apology for making them both sick.”

“What, didn’t he learn his lesson this morning?” she was already alarmed, adjusting her frames.

Snips had been given a sore snout by the filly after constantly hounding her earlier, he received the response, “I don’t care anymore.” To Diamond Tiara that meant, all is forgiven. However since he wasn’t fluent in Diamond he wouldn’t be satisfied until his apology was earnestly accepted.

“She already forgave him, she said she doesn’t care, that means he’s forgiven. She’s been nice to both of you all day, like, haven’t you noticed?” she furrowed a brow at the unicorn sharing a bench with her.

“Really!? Uh, well… now that you mention it…” he rubbed a pensive hoof against his chin.

He had noticed Diamond Tiara hadn’t said anything to either of them, apparently that was her being nice, not saying anything at all. She also didn’t pretend to gag when he waved to her in class this morning.

Silver Spoon grabbed Snails’ chest, “Where is he now?”

Snails pointed to the pair a few feet away from the school building. Snips was indeed pleading, again, and the filly already had her little hoof aim for his nose.

“Like, come on! We’ve gotta stop them,” she pulled Snails off the bench.

“R-Right,” he picked himself up, he didn’t want his new friend fighting with his best friend.

The two friends rushed to aid of their new/old friends. They just kept running, they weren’t sure if they’d make it in time or be saved by the bell as they called out both their names.