The Useful Nature Of Stairs
Twilight groaned as she painfully opened her eyes and stared out into her prison, The beeping of a nearby machine told her that she was currently in the hospital, yet she couldn't completely remember how she got there. It only eluded her. She knew that it had to do with an evil menace that would consume the wold with its tendrils of influence as it worked to enslave the pony race, And that it had something to do with her recent travel to the Crystal Empire.
But everything was blank. It was as if she couldn't even try to yank those memories out. And her friends weren't helping- Fluttershy was tight lipped as to what exactly made her take a mind numbing tumble down some stairs. Rarity just came by every once in a while to check in on her progress and talk with Nurse Redheart about Twilight's care. Applejack just gave her food and apologized about what happened. And she hadn't hide nor hair of Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. Her friends just cryptically said that they were getting the best care.
But there was one thing that couldn't change- the written word. Twilight had one thing going for her. She remembered the point before the white, and at that one point of hope she had been writing a report to Princess Celestia about her findings and it was the only record about what transpired here.
The door opened and her number one assistant scampered in on his short little legs. "Hi, Spike."
Twilight tried to sound cheerful but the sound died in her throat as she saw the look in his eyes. His green eyes were empty of all knowledge and he was in all sense of the word- a wooden puppet. He just shook his head, placed the heavy tome on the table and walked out.
She looked down and saw the snaking vines jutting out of her skin- like IV needles that brought the nutrients that she needed into her conscious mind. She could see the veins on her legs as tree sap oozed from the blood machine into her veins. She felt happy. She felt the glory of the stairs pass into her soul as the wooden benefactor that had saved her mind from complete destruction whispered under her cold memory.
Flashes of her journey into the hospital began assailing her. Whispered words from the Ponyville populace about their lord and master. Her friends dodging the question why ponies liked stairs so much. Fluttershy blinking and using her Stare-
Twilight shivered as the horror of her kind pegasus shifting into a tree beast that had no eyes. Where they were supposed to be were just spires of wooden intent. They bored into the souls of anypony and creature that stared for too long. And ten the world shifted back into the bright and airy normal Ponyville air that encapsulated the little town.
She had ran.
Running was safe. She had to have told somepony- but she couldn't remember. That was the last true thing she remebered truthfully.
The rest were just hazy shades of crazed ramblings of insane looping staircases.
Cool air brushed her snout as the door opened by itself and she felt a calming presence in her mind. It said one word: "Ftaires!"
And Twilight could feel the meaning of that one guttural word. It was what had made Fluttershy that way. The creature that was talking to her was surrounding her at this very moment, as she reached out to touch the table that held the book that would stop this pleasant night mare that made her world turn upside down like the anti-gravity spell had during that arduous stair climbing exercise in the Crystal Empire.
As she touched the tome that she had planned to send to Princess Celestia, the presence howled in anger and her room began to shake ,
***
Twilight woke up in a puddle of black ink and a mass of papers.from when she had fallen down her stairs. She tried to move her limbs, but the shock from the fall made her whole body ache and a long hollow moan came out when she gingerly touched her side.
"That's going to leave a bruise."
She dragged herself on the floor to the bathroom as slowly as possible to not make her side flame up in pain. Her horn sparked with magic to see if there was nothing broken. Outside of a few large bruises- Twilight was fine. Then she noticed a small cut on her forehead. Gently prodding it with a hoof- she felt a small and insignificant tendril of vine crawl out of her forehead and wrap itself gently around her hoof.
She screamed.
***
Rainbow Desk, Mahogany, Rosacea, Willow, and Piney Pine were worried about their friend Tall Spruce. The town of Treeville stood resolute against the sky as the citizens moved lazily in the forest- each getting their necessary nutrients from the soil granted by the Princesses Chesnut and Larch, The long lives of the sacred grove of Chlorophyll-lot and the world grove that Treeland was on gave each and every tree pause to think about how grateful their were at their benevolent tree goddesses that controlled the life giving orb and the sleep orb with their great and mighty branches.
***
Twilight breathed in the fresh air as she began to work on her way towards the center of town. She reflexively waved at her friends who. thanks to the schedule, were rushing to the next scene. The purple puppet closed her mouth and began to reach for the door with a string tied hoof. The play was going off without a hitch. The one who moved all was getting his due.
***
"Should we get help?" Twilight's five friends stood around her. Her bruised and battered body stared up unblinking and moaning at the ceiling,
"Nah, she can walk it off. It was only a tumble down her stairs. . ." Rainbow Dash smirked, remembering all the times the she flew into mountains and hurt herself. Falling down stairs was nothing.
"And I did warn the dear about that top step of hers. I almost had a fall myself during our last get together. I warned her about those old stairs." Rarity sighed.
"So what do we want to do?" Fluttershy spoke up. She had to be the voice of reason- everypony else was just too lackadaisical about Twilight falling down and hurting herself.
"Who wants to go for a picnic? Mr. and Mrs. Cake gave me some cupcakes that they baked." Pinkie Pie pulled out a large basket of very tasty looking cupcakes. "Who's in?"
The five friends looked at each other- and then glanced at Twilight- they looked at each other again.
"I'll bring the apple cider."
And so Twilight lay still on her library floor. Moaning and groaning like the living dead. Her good friends living life in the sun that Celestia raises everyday and having a good old picnic. And Twilight Sparkle, stuffiest librarian on this side of order soon got all better because she's a pretty little princess and ponies do that.
***
Twilight's eye twitched. Her mane was slowly smoldering and the full body cast that she was stuck in was beginning to melt to her coat in her infinite rage at the visitor that had entered her hospital room and dared to tell her a story.
"Discord."
"Yes, Twilight?" Discord, for his part, was dressed in the finest red bathrobe chaos could buy and was puffing on some of the most vintage candy cigars children could think of. His comfy chair happened to be one Twilight Sparkle. Who was currently in the hospital because of the silliest little tumble down the smallest flight of stairs that Discord could remember.
"Discord. Please stop narrating every thought I have. This is not a movie."
"But Celestia-"
"Discord. I. Don't. Care. Celestia didn't tell you to tell me stories. She told you that she wanted to have a night alone."
"But the next one was going to be all grand and manly adventure. Daring Do and the Flight of Stairs!"
"Get out."
"Fine. But I'll leave the book on the table, Its a rousing tale about Daring Do when she's in a similar predicament- except that she has the manners to listen to a dragonequus's rousing tale of stairs."
Twilight just stared back at him and pointed at the door.
Author's Note
Blame Homestuck just a little bit. And House of Leaves for "Ftaires!" Also falling down stairs does hurt a little bit so I might have made a "stairs control the world" fic by accident. Or at least a "wood products are evil fic." This is pretty dumb for me. And way different style. And it is a one shot.
I warned you it was random.
