Mi Casa Es Su Casa

by Akumokagetsu

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Fluttershy, Comedy, Random
Length: 2846

Fluttershy's cottage becomes host to a couple of interdimensional visitors.

OR 'A Tentacle Porn Comedy, WithoutThe Porn'.

Fluttershy's quiet little home becomes a little bit fuller with the addition of a nookie-obsessed changeling and a demonically possessed alternate version of herself hellbent on universal domination.
Her house anything but 'quiet' anymore, that's for sure.

Published 2014-09-08 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-08 15:44:49 UTC

All By Myself

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On the outskirts of a quaint little village, there lived a pony.

Not a big pony or a heavy pony, but a little pony. Small and agile as she was quiet and frail, Fluttershy was a pony like no pony one could easily find. Not anywhere but Equestria, really. Although many considered it a little odd that any pegasus would ever bother living so close to the ground – let alone inside a hollowed out tree – Fluttershy considered herself very normal. Just as her partially underground home was interconnected with the tree turned cottage, Fluttershy thought herself equally connected to the animals of Equestria, and she was all too glad to care for them.

Her home itself was not an icky, unsightly and dark sort of underground home like mice or voles might take to, but a pleasant and warm place. A home with lights and furniture, of pictures of friends and paintings of meadows on the mantle above the fireplace. Though it might have seemed a bit cramped to any but ponies such as herself, Fluttershy found her small living place rather cozy; it did, after all, have a homely sort of attractiveness and charm to it. Or at least she thought. It was a place of comfort, a place of solitude, a place of peace.

But mostly, it was a place of quiet.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Fluttershy yawned deeply into her hoof. The slim fingers of mist lightly brushing the windows scribbled indecipherable glyphs across the glass. The pegasus blinked wearily at the dilapidated blue clock on the wall, each and every second passing as if each one were an hour.

It was too early to be awake like this, and Fluttershy thought as much to herself vaguely. The quiet trickle of coffee making its way in a muddy river to her white ceramic mug lightly tickled her ears. A little painted image of a sapphire princess lookalike that held up a small sign stating ‘I Hate Mondays’ was wrapped around the side. With another soft sigh, Fluttershy poured a little more cream into her coffee, the strong taste almost too much for her to bear.

She mindlessly brushed a single strand of mane from her face, sleepily staring at her own murky reflection. It was no good worrying about what she couldn’t fix, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t still going to worry about it anyway. It wasn’t like there was much else that she could do at that hour of the morning, let alone wanted to do. Fluttershy rolled the mug back and forth slowly, careful not to spill anything as she did so.

Why did insomnia always have to strike her when she least expected it?

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

She supposed that it was because that was just what insomnia was supposed to do. After all, were insomnia convenient, it wouldn’t be considered insomnia at all; it would just be being awake. Fluttershy frowned, sleepily stirring her coffee as she cast a sidelong weary glance out the window. The sun seemed like it was an eternity away from rising, and she let out her umpteenth sigh to break the monotony.

At least her little bunny rabbit had finally stopped his very un-bunny like snores.

Many nights were much like this one.

Fluttershy would sit groggily at the kitchen table, utterly unable to sleep no matter what she did. Sometimes she had early coffee just to warm herself. Other times she tried to keep herself occupied with a little puzzle or perhaps cleaning something in her home that wasn’t already spotless. She had learned long ago that trying to exhaust herself into sleep did no good whatsoever – then she was just alert and worn out, a rather unpleasant combination.

For a few minutes Fluttershy drearily entertained the notion of perhaps bringing out the paints or perhaps entertaining herself in the garden beside her cottage. Maybe the distraction would last and she could fall asleep where she sat from the sheer boredom, even though she knew that was unlikely as well. Besides, even though she was not as good at it as she would have liked to be, Fluttershy thought fondly of painting. It reminded her of hoof paintings as a filly, and brought a small, tired smile to her lips.

BANG!

Fluttershy’s coffee splattered across the table when she dropped it, and she jerkily pulled away from the table to avoid being scalded like the last time she had almost managed to fall asleep at the table. Cloudy liquid seeped over and dripped in rivets onto the floor, gushing like a muddy waterfall and onto her pristine floor.

However, Fluttershy was a little less concerned with that and more confused and frightened about what had made such a terrifically loud noise against her front door. She scuffled and scurried this way and that, worriedly trying to peer out the windows through a slit in the curtains to catch a glance of whatever might have made such a cannon shot noise. She saw only a slowly moving shadow on her doorstep.

“W-whoever it is, I-I’m not b-buying!” Fluttershy warily eyed the noisemaker’s shadowy form, tiptoeing over the floor to peer out from behind the curtains. “I haven’t even got any b-bits, probably!”

Another loud slam resounded through the house as something hit the door, and once more – again, again, and again. Fluttershy bravely took one terrified, shaking step toward the door whilst firmly deciding that it would be much smarter to pretend that she wasn’t home, even though she had already spoken to the noisemaker.

Before she made it halfway, the entire door collapsed inward with an enormous boom! like a cannon shot, and slammed onto the floor with a little eddy of dust whirling behind.

The battered black changeling grinned up at her from the floor, one leg sticking oddly into the air.

“… Hi!” he croaked in a wheeze. “Wanna have sex?”

That’s when the screaming started.

“Go away!” Fluttershy shrieked as well as she could, which came out more as a horrified reedy whistle. She backpedalled swiftly, throwing anything and everything that she could at the insectile invader. Knick knacks and picture frames bounced off of his head with a dull noise, and the changeling cringed with each one.

“Can – hold on, I just – can we just t-ow! – listen, I just wanna eye! You hit me in the freaking eye!”

“Stay back!” Fluttershy warned the wounded changeling, heart slamming her ears in an attempt to escape. She cranked back her hoof with another picture frame that held a still shot of all of her friends.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay!” the changeling flinched, covering his face with one holed hoof. A brilliant blue eye peeked out through the hole at her with curiosity. “Jeez! Just chill, okay?”

Fluttershy stared at him for a full beat.

“No! she blurted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “What are you, crazy?”

“No,” he shook his head honestly. “Just kinda horny.”

Fluttershy blinked.

“Ow, my eye!”

She started for another projectile weapon when she discovered that her shelf was empty. Fluttershy grabbed at empty air in panic, but the changeling did not come any closer.

“… You done?” he frowned, rubbing his face sorely. “Or do you want to find something else to hit me with?”

Fluttershy instantly reached for something else to hit him with, and the changeling stamped the floor.

“Don’t come any closer!” Fluttershy squeaked in fright.

“I didn’t move!” the changeling retorted angrily. “Will you just give me a minute t’ explain before you wind up blinding me?”

Fluttershy tentatively held a lamp in one hoof, warily looking the changeling over. Considering how awful her experience with changelings had been during Princess Cadence’s visit to Canterlot, Fluttershy was certain that no good could possibly come of the situation.

“… Please?” he asked with what she supposed was a puppy dog look, sticking out his lip a little. “I swear, I’ll explain, just give me a chance. That’s all I ask.”

“I-I… suppose, I guess…” she bit her lower lip hesitantly.

“Sweet. I’ve been stalking you for, like, the last two weeks and I think you’re hot and I wanna rail you.”

“… What?” Fluttershy balked.

“Make whoopee,” the changeling explained eagerly. “Do the horizontal bop. Bump uglies. Grind goochies. I wanna bend you over and jam my lower leg in your happy hole. Se-”

“I got that part!” she blushed deeply. “I meant the stalking part!”

The changeling made a small ‘o’ with his mouth, nodding.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been stalking you, kind of. A little, I mean. Mostly when you’re in the shower.”

Fluttershy blinked.

“OH SWEET EGG MOTHER, MY EYE!”

“Nasty! Intruder!” Fluttershy shouted in humiliation, her face a cherry red as she hauled anything and everything that she could find at the changeling. “Dirty! Pervert! Brute!”

“Hey!” he scowled as a snow globe smacked him squarely between the eyes. “I am not dirty! I take great pride in my appearance, thank you very much!”

And with that, his jagged horn lit up with a flurry of emerald sparks that scoured his entire body within a matter of seconds. Before Fluttershy knew it, she was staring at a mirror reflection of herself. A stunning, clearly over exaggerated version of her natural beauty, extended in a breathtaking display of vanity and poorly concealed lust. In short, she looked absolutely gorgeous.

Then she started hitting him again.

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That's Not Calamari

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“No, I do not need your help!” Fluttershy insisted, rather uncharacteristically angry, hauling the wooden door up to its frame with shaking limbs. In fact, it was the first time in a long time that she had been truly, properly irritated with somepony. And yet, he still wouldn't take the hint.

“Aw, come on...” whined the changeling from outside as he peered in through the window, dipping and bobbing his head for a better view of the pegasus. “I apologized, d'inni? That's gotta count for something, right?”

“You trashed my home!” she responded with a weak grunt, struggling to jam the hefty door back into place and wondering how she was going to fix the hinges.

The changeling paused, slipping around to a different window as she trudged angrily back to the kitchen.

“Technically, you wrecked the place,” he corrected her, still wearing the same visage of herself that he had donned before. It was eerie hearing a different voice coming from her own lips, and she refused to look at her mirror image as she began the steady work of mopping up all of the spilled coffee. “All I did was break the door.”

“That's another thing-” Fluttershy whipped her head up with a frown; however, to her immense surprise, the changeling was already gone.

Fluttershy started to say something very rude, but the breath caught in her chest and she wound up releasing a long, slow sigh instead. She rubbed her temples with her spare hoof, blowing another heavy breath. It wouldn't do any good to get all worked up over it, she could already feel herself losing steam. Perhaps the changeling really had figured out that she didn't want anything to do with him.

She quietly chastised herself for her actions as she swept up the remnants of broken glass all over the cottage, some twinkling brightly with the early morning glow of the sun. To be honest, changelings terrified her even after several of them publicly outed themselves following the Canterlot events, but that didn't mean she found their company any more appealing.

She arched her back wearily as she finished cleaning up the fit of destruction from earlier, a tiny bit ashamed at herself for her outburst. Fluttershy gave a little smile at the work, her mind already on finding somepony to help fix the wooden hinges on the door; she silently reminded herself to upgrade to metal, even if it was remarkably expensive it was fantastic for home security, appare-

Fluttershy shrieked as she rounded the corner, broom clattering from her hooves to the floor as she came face to face with herself for the second time that morning.

“Hi!” the changeling grinned. “Miss m– oh sweet Egg Mother no!”

He cringed hard as Fluttershy rapidly snagged the broom and instead of smacking him instinctively tried to hide behind it, failing miserably. It took her a moment to realize that her double was doing almost the exact same thing, quavering in terror behind a surprisingly lovely bouquet of forget-me-not blue flowers that apparently was to serve as an impenetrable shield.

“... How did you get back into my house?” Fluttershy asked in faux outrage, her original driving emotions already long since burned out.

“I, uh...” the changeling cleared his throat awkwardly, eyes darting back and forth as the broom handle swayed dangerously over him. “I... c-climbed in through the bathroom window again.”

“That's – wait, again?”

“No, no, for the first time!” he corrected himself hastily, backing away and holding out the bouquet defensively as she advanced. “Totally the first time, I swear!”

Fluttershy made a mental note to personally check the bathroom windows, her frown returning.

They stood in uncomfortable silence for a long moment, neither of them moving.

Eventually, the changeling shifted uneasily, holding out the bouquet again.

“So... we good?”

“... Please. Get out of my house.”

“But-”

“Out!” Fluttershy shooed him, smacking the changeling in the rear with the broom. He yelped and scampered toward the door, pulling it back off the hinges again before Fluttershy could stop him and darting away as fast as his legs would carry him.

Fluttershy exerted several noises at once, every one of which exhumed a certain air of irritation and weariness.

It took quite a bit of work, but she finally managed to fit her door back into its place, even if it did seem a little bit wobbly. She gave her umpteenth sigh, shook her head, and made straight for the coffee.

Because, by Celestia, she was going to have a little bit of peace this morning.

What would she even say to her friends, she wondered? A wild changeling appeared? She certainly wasn't going to repeat anything it said to her, that was for su-

BANG!

Fluttershy squeaked in fright, coffee splattering all over the table and dripping down to the floor.

“Ooh, that does it!” she stamped a hoof against the floor, drawing herself up to her full (not very impressive) height. The only way to get anypony to listen to her was to be assertive, and she was going to assertively ram that front door right up the changeling's-

Multiple things occurred to Fluttershy all at once. Firstly, the door had in fact been knocked rather rudely off its hinges once again. Secondly, it was still floating in the air.

Thirdly, there was the black hole.

An enormous, hatefully whirling vortex of darkness violently filled and expanded through Fluttershy's door frame, lighter objects that had survived the changeling's first entrance yanked directly off the shelves and walls and vanishing into the abyss.

Fluttershy attempted to let out a scream of terror as she felt even herself being pulled into the hungry darkness, her furniture flying past her faster than any pegasus could manage. She gripped the doorway to the kitchen with all her might, hind legs tossed this way and that in the buffeting winds as she flapped uselessly for just a few more moments of survival...

And just like that, it was over.

Fluttershy huffed and puffed in exhaustion and fright on the floor, eyes as wide as saucers as she attempted to take in the bizarre sight.

A figure that looked incredibly familiar slowly began to rise from the ground without using hooves as it cast back a long black cloak. Tendrils of dark energy emanating from the intruder began to manifest themselves as gigantic purplish tentacles, protruding from invisible places and giving the pink-maned monstrosity an even more terrifying visage.

“All hail the Dark Lord Fluttershy!” the intruder squeaked in a not-so-intimidating voice. “For I have come to feast on your souls!”

“Right, so,” Fluttershy cringed inwardly when she heard the changeling approaching, and couldn't help but to sigh again when he stuck his head that looked too much like hers back in through the doorway. This time, however, he seemed to have kept one of the blue flowers to stick in his mane as a memento of sorts. “Right. Right, I've been thinking, and maybe we got... off... on the wrong, the-the wrong, uh...”

The changeling looked back and forth between the (astonishingly fed up) Fluttershy on the floor with a bedraggled mane, and the one with a black cloak suspended either by magic, very strong wriggling tentacles, or a combination of the two. The changeling looked back and forth between them long and hard.

Then he turned to Fluttershy, grinned and said “Sweet! Wish I'd thought of a threesome.”

Unsurprisingly, Fluttershy fainted.

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