Clash of the Heavenly Titans

by Ciroton

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 8749

What do you do when living goddesses start pranking?

Weary of the humdrum day-to-day business of Canterlot, Princess Luna decides to do something about it by reviving a holiday lost to the passage of time. However, she gets more than she bargained for when her elder sister, Celestia, decides to join in on the fun.

Can the majestic capital survive two warring, immortal Alicorns?

~Originally written for the Equestria Daily 'Happy Luna' fan fiction contest on August 14, 2011~

~Edited, as always, by BrotherPrickle on Deviant Art~

Published 2012-04-14 00:04:13 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-14 00:04:13 UTC

Chapter 1

Canterlot: the crown jewel of Equestria. To most ponies, it stood as a monument to the achievements of generations past, and to others it represented the regal beauty of the monarchs it housed. Yet, only two ponies knew the real reason it existed: it was a new start, away from the bitterness of the past. Of course, none of that mattered in the present day, for most of the old wrongs had long since been righted.

Mornings were always early at the castle, since many of the staff had to be awake before dawn to cater to the pony that raised the very sun itself. However, for the past year and a half, the task became two-fold. Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna of Equestria, Regent of the Moon hummed happily to herself as she trotted down the gilded alabaster halls of the castle, carrying a large sack behind her with her magic. It was a tune she found herself leery of humming around her older sister, as it was one their mother would sing to them. They... did not part on the best of terms.

Today was not a day to wallow in the past, however, as it marked the first day of Foals' Week. Luna smirked to herself as a million plans bubbled in her brain, all formed from years past. Sure, Celestia had banned the practice before her... interment... but thankfully for the lunar princess, she had long since forgotten the ancient holiday, which would give her a much-appreciated and deserved edge. Given how her older sister had come back to her, she knew in her heart that this was going to be the best week ever.

Those poor, unsuspecting foals, the midnight princess thought to herself as she ascended the stairs of the tower. By the time they and Celly realize what is going on, it will be far too late. A Cheshire grin spread across her face when she came to the window. She had been scouting out the best spot for this diabolical plan for over a year, and it felt to her like Celestia designed this tower JUST for this purpose. Luna giggled to herself as the large burlap sack opened to reveal a rainbow of coloured balloons.

With great stealth, the alicorn poked her head out the window and surveyed her surroundings. From her perch, she had a view of most of the grounds, plus the front gate, which would make for some interesting times. She immediately sought out a target, seeing two of the Pegasus guards circling the grounds. Since they were off duty, and free of the armour's enchantments, she immediately identified them as Glint and Alloy. Luna always made it a point to learn the names of all the members of the staff.

They were cousins, but they were also quite competitive, so it was no stretch of the imagination to see them in the middle of a race. Luna smirked and levitated one of the balloons with her magic, the red sphere cast in an aura of dark blue. After a couple of rounds, she felt she had the timing down. Only then did she wait for the opportune moment, chucking the balloon with all the telekinetic speed she had.

Meanwhile, the two cousins taunted and pestered each other with their banter, the charcoal Glint beating out the bronze Alloy by just the width of a feather. However, in mid-flight, something impacted the gray Pegasus hard, making him veer off-course and into the other racer. The two tumbled in the air for what felt like an eternity before finally landing in the moat with a massive splash!

"You feather brain," coughed Alloy as he pulled himself out of the water. "What the hay did you do that for!?"

"I didn't do squat!" Glint defended as he collapsed in a heap. However, the petty bickering could not be heard up in the tower, where the princess of the moon rolled on the floor, forgetting all decorum as her frame heaved with laughter. Never in a thousand years did she think her first hit of the day would result in a two-for-one soaking! And here I thought I lost my touch, she reasoned through the tears that streamed down her face.

By the time she risked poking her muzzle out of the window again, the two guards were hoof-wrestling on the outer grounds... probably to determine who was at fault. Still, there were plenty of new targets on the green as Canterlot slowly roused itself from its slumber to begin the new day. After all, she still had about one hundred and ninety-nine balloons to go and the day was still young. Hopefully, she could use them all before ponies got too... well, they could not be mad at their goddess, now could they?

Tactfully spreading out her attacks, the princess had scored forty more direct hits and about thirty misses in the past three hours. Perhaps she had become rusty at this after all? Ah well, it did not matter to her. Luna had not had this much fun in as much as three thousand years, and by stars, she was going to nail somepony important. Fortunately, for her, opportunity presented her desire on a silver platter. A green and gold carriage pulled up to the castle, dropping off three ponies in back suits, two flanking the one in the middle.

Even from a distance, the princess could identify her target as Regal Scroll: Prime Minister of Equestria. Down on the ground, the black unicorn stallion stepped lively for his appointed summons with Princess Celestia. Behind him trotted his two bodyguards: a yellow Pegasus stallion with an orange mane, and a white unicorn mare with a two-tone mane of white and purple. Both wore dark sunglasses to obscure the colour of their eyes.

Suddenly, before any of the ponies could notice, a barrage of technicolor came from one of the towers. Immediately, the bodyguards sprung into action, kicking or zapping as many of the balloons as possible. However, one managed to get past and strike the Prime Minister directly in the face. "GAH!" he cried out, "Sunny! Go up there and drag that foal over here!"

"Yes, Sir!" the stallion saluted and flew up, before coming back seconds late with a rather wet face, "You're not going to believe this, Sir, but... um... it's Princess Luna throwing the balloons." If he was not so composed, the black stallion would have ruptured the ear drums of his bodyguards with his agonized scream.

~*///*///*///*~

"...no sense of respect for Parliament, and she ruined my best suit!" Regal Scroll ranted through the closed doors of Celestia's office. Princess Luna, however, sat outside unapologetically, glancing at the two bodyguards the Prime Minister left in the hall. She did not care if she got in trouble, since no punishment could be worse than a millennium on the cold, empty moon.

Sure enough, after a couple of minutes of ranting, the doors to her older sister's office opened, the aging oak chipping and peeling in obscure spots. "Luna, please come inside," Celestia asked calmly. The blue alicorn obliged, stepping inside the office with a smile upon her face. She had nothing to fear, especially since this was something the white alicorn was more inclined to laugh about. Behind closed doors, of course.

"Yes, sister? What did you wish to see me for?" the younger sibling asked, smiling as she saw the royal pony sitting in her chair, just as planned. She trotted over to the small table in front of her desk and sat on the right-hoofed side, directly opposite from the slightly soaked Prime Minister.

"You know quite well why I have called you here, Luna," the princess of the sun spoke sternly, crossing her hooves on the top of the table. "It is one thing to pelt unsuspecting members of our staff with water balloons, but quite another to do so to the head of government, who was elected by the ponies of Equestria themselves. It might be misconstrued as a lack of respect for our subjects, dear sister."

"Well, it was not meant that way, Celestia. I simply felt the time was appropriate to spread a little bit of the Element of Laugther about the castle, as I have noted a distinct up-tightness. Therefore, I took matters into my own hooves by tossing some of the more... stiff member of our staff a few water balloons. It was all an attempt to make them lighten up, and was in no way meant to impugn the integrity of our Prime Minister."

Celestia took a deep breath and let out a large, relieved sigh. Millennia of experience told the younger alicorn that this was merely a facade she put on for the political pony. Luna, however, had no such reservations and cracked a large grin as she looked at him. To make a long description short, he looked more akin to a drowned rat than a pony.

"I am very glad to hear that, dear sister. Now, if you will both excuse me, I must go see my advisor about..." she trailed. Her alabaster cheeks flushed just a tiny bit as she realized her flank would not disconnect from the chair. Indeed, even as she stood at her full height, it remained affixed to the solar sister. "Luna, did you...?" However, the rest of her sentence was cut short by the roaring laughter of the regent of the moon.

"Oh, Celly," she cried in between fits of laughter, "I knew you were attached to your work, but I didn't know it was physical as well!" The midnight pony lost all of her composure, lying flat on the floor, pounding her hooves against the regal blue carpet as she struggled to regain her breath. Meanwhile, Regal Scroll sat there terrified: unsure if he should laugh, or yell, or just get out of the room as fast as possible.

"Prime Minister, you are dismissed," the elegant mare replied, to the stallion's relief. Without another word, he bowed to the princesses and made a hasty retreat. Only when the door shut did Celestia speak once more. "I am surprised at you, sister. Surely, I taught you better than such foalish pranks! We are royalty, we are above such nonsense... and how did you think of it before I did?"

"Happy Foal's Week," the younger giggled before she left her sister to try and pry herself from the synthetic glue's sticky claws. Luna felt confident that she already won the war, since her sister's jokes usually needed far more time to set up, meaning by the time her elaborate revenge was complete, the week would be over, and she would have the last laugh. Oh, Luna, you foxy little filly, the younger princess thought to herself as she trotted happily down the corridors.

Meanwhile, back in her office, a disturbing grin crept across the face of the regal white alicorn. "Foal's Week? Why, I daresay I had completely forgotten about the practice. Thank you for reminding me, sister: together, we will revive its ways." A few low peals of deliciously ominous laughter echoed in her office. Stepping out into the halls, stifled giggles and chortles, as well as a couple of cat calls, resounded through the castle, all directed at her. At first, the regent of the sun had no clue as to why... until she happened across a particularly well buffed suit of armour.

There, written on some paper taped to the very bottom of the chair, there was a note that read, 'Desperate: Free rides, no waiting!' A strange mixture of embarrassment, annoyance, and a sense of challenge blew about her, as if she stood in the midst of a hurricane. "Oh, my dear Luna. It. Is. ON!" she growled in determination. If she wanted a prank war, then by the stars above, they would have a prank war of mythic proportions!

~*///*///*///*~

Luna woke the very next day, more invigorated then she had felt in a very long time over her decisive victory against her sister, little knowing it was but the first shot. After performing her usual morning chores, she stepped out of her private suite and began the long trek down to the royal dining room for breakfast. "Good morning, your highness!" chirped a voice all too familiar to the blue alicorn.

"Ah, good morning, Sable," she replied to the wine-red unicorn mare. "How was your sleep last night?" Despite being on Celestia's staff, the princess and the servant were good friends. At first, Luna thought the red-stained unicorn was instructed to make friends with her, but as time went on, she began to trust that she first approached the princess on her own terms.

"I slept fine, Princess. Might I ask how you slept?"

"Let's just say I'm feeling ready to seize the day and have some fun. I trust by now you have heard about Celestia and the chair?" The red mare nodded her head, doing her best to suppress a grin from the memory of seeing the esteemed mare trotting down the halls with her office chair glued to her rear end. It was as close to a laugh as the princess was going to get out of her... in public, at least.

The two continued down the winding halls of the castle, ignoring the rich tapestries, statues, and windows as they went. Small fillies and colts ran in the halls up ahead, playing and laughing as they went to breakfast before their classes. Celestia's school had been in existence for five hundred years as a part of the castle, yet separate in its own right. The princess of the moon had not been in that wing yet, if only because she still felt uncomfortable around foals.

Suddenly, as Luna rounded a bend in the hall, she felt her hooves slip. She yelped in surprise and struggled in vain to gain some traction as she skidded around another bend and over to a series of buckets stacked in a pyramid. "Oh no!" she cried before smashing into the buckets. A sticky substance sploshed over her body as she hurtled into a suspiciously piled pack of punctured pillows.

"W-watch out, Princess!" Sable shouted as she slid into the royal rump. Luna let out a small groan as she laid on her back, her friend in a rather awkward position that made her blush just thinking about it. Her tongue snaked out of her mouth and tasted the substance that made her feel so incredibly sticky.

"Tree sap," she growled. "I HATE tree sap!" Ancient cogs turned in her brain: the situation seemed far too familiar to be a coincidence. Why that little... she's actually playing dirty for once! Oh, Celestia, you want a prank war? You're going to get one! She shuffled to her feet, trace amounts of butter still on the bottom of her hooves. A large, conveniently placed, mirror showed the alicorn covered in the yellow sap, looking like a deranged chicken.

"Go wash up, Sable," the princess spoke to her friend. "If anypony gives you problems for being late for anything because of it, just send them to me and I will set them straight."

"Yes, Princess. Thank you." With that, the red unicorn trotted (with the occasional squeak) towards the nearest bathroom. Meanwhile, Luna continued on to the dining room as dignified as she could in light of the circumstances. The occasional hushed giggle would drift across her ear only to be promptly silenced as soon as she came into sight. Sure, they did the same with Celestia, but there was... tension in the air surrounding her. Considering recent history, it did not surprise her one bit.

Approaching the dining room doors, she ignored the poorly hidden smirks on the guards' faces as they opened the door into the impressive space. Unlike most rooms in the castle, it did not have any windows to the outside, lit only by the pink-stained fireplace. "Um... Luna, my dear sister," Celestia chimed as she crossed the threshold. "I am afraid you are about a month late to dress up for All Horses Eve. Although, I must say that I do like how you wear that disheveled chicken look."

The blue alicorn ignored her sister's deadpan delivery, knowing full well that the next moment she had alone, the older princess would put up a soundproofing spell and laugh with all the force her black little heart would give her. Already, dozens of plans for revenge churned in her brain, each more diabolical and hilarious than the last. However, she would not go too far too fast, there was a subtle art to one-up-mareship, and she would play it by the book.

~*///*///*///*~

If it were not for the increasing nip in the air, birds would be perched happily in the trees and singing their delightful little tunes. As it was, they were probably somewhere on the south coast, soaking up the perpetual summer warmth. Luna sat with her friend Sable in her royal suite, having tea after dinner, the previous days prank (and feathers) naught but a distant memory... and it would grow far more distant in a couple of minutes.

Celestia was a pony of habit. Every evening, after a filling dinner, she would retire to her chambers for the night and have a quick shower before catching up on her reading, or any unfilled business from the previous day before she went to bed. Unfortunately, this made her as predictable as the sunrise, and thus an easy target.

"So, how did you get Princess Celestia back for the chicken incident, your highness?" asked the wine-red unicorn as she held her lemon tea with magic.

"Oh, something tells me that you'll find out very soon," the princess of the moon replied with a sly wink and a bout of giggles.

"Well," Sable added, sipping her tea, "Whatever it is, it sounds like it is going to be good. But please, your highness, keep me out of it? I like my job and besides, I didn't have fun getting that tree sap out of my coat last night with only thirty minutes to do it in." In fact, the unicorn still had a couple of feathers stuck to her flank. As a maid to Princess Celestia, she did not have the luxury of time to take care of the problem herself.

"Then consider this my apology for getting you involved yesterday," Luna spoke after sipping her tea. Her horn shimmered in a dark glow as the feathers on her friend's flank vanished from existence, off to parts unknown. "There we go, now they have a nice new home on the moon. Celestia isn't the only pony who can send stuff there," she smirked, well aware of the rumours that her sister was a little...quick to banish stuff to her former prison.

"ARGH! LUNA! I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!" screamed said sun pony suddenly, her voice resounding through the entire castle.

"She sounds livid," the unicorn replied calmly. "What did you do?"

"Oh, you'll find out tomorrow morning," Luna smiled happily.

Indeed, the very next morning, the castle was in an uproar of laughter as the princess of the sun made her way down to breakfast. On the inside, she was happy to see her subjects loosening up and having a little bit of fun at her expense. Stars knew that she had done so to them on multiple occasions and that they deserved the laughter, but her icy fury towards her little sister knew no bounds. How DARE she steal one of her trademarked pranks!?

Even the guards to the dining room could not help but crack a smile at her... unique appearance and opened the door for the monarch. As soon as the double doors opened, she was treated to a wall of laughter from her younger sister and several members of the waiting staff as she walked to her chair with as much dignity as she could muster. "Good morning, sister!" Luna chirped with a devilish smile on her muzzle after composing herself. "Did you have a good sleep? Also... you look a little different. Did you do something with your mane?"

"Do not play dumb with me, Luna. I assure you that retribution will be at hoof for this... travesty."

"You don't look mad to me... In fact, I think you're...TICKLED PINK?" she giggled at her own pun. Indeed, the mover of the sun was pink, but she was far from amused. While she sat in court the previous afternoon, Luna sneaked into her chambers and inserted bubblegum pink mane dye into her shower head. Needless to say, it stained her alabaster coat and turned her wafting, rainbow-like mane into a frilly disaster.

The look upon her face: it was just too much for the younger princess to bear. She pressed her muzzle into the fine cloth and roared with laughter, slamming her hoof into the table hard enough to shake the candlesticks and floral arrangements down on the opposite end. That sort of behaviour would not stand! Besides, Celestia refused to be bested by her LITTLE sister. Oh yes, she would have the last laugh, even if it killed her!

~*///*///*///*~

It had been a long day of meetings, holding court, and entertaining a couple of aids that had come in advance of a visiting ambassador, but somehow Luna had managed to live with it. As a side-effect from her prank on Celestia, she deigned herself sick, so all of her duties (except for raising the sun) were given to her for the next day, or however long it took to bleach all of the offensive dye from her coat.

The midnight alicorn found herself in a muted fit of giggles as the memory of her pink sister washed across her waking mind, reminding her of better times when they would eat cotton candy at the fair and get it all in their manes, much to the chagrin of their mother. It was just a shame that the two sisters could not let down their manes anymore and just... be sisters as opposed to co-rulers and goddesses of a nation.

Maybe they would have some time off when they found ponies to be their successors? Luna could already tell who Celestia would choose, beyond any shadow of a doubt, but somehow it did not seem as if that would solve their lack of time together. The alicorn gently derailed her train of thought as she gracefully trotted down the gilded alabaster halls to her chamber for a good night's rest.

A thought suddenly crossed her mind as she approached her chamber doors, flanked by two white Pegasus guards in their enchanted golden armour. "Excuse me," the princess politely inquired, "But may I ask if you have seen my lovely older sister around here, or anything else out of the ordinary?"

"No, your highness," replied the guard on the left. "We've been on duty since noon and we have not seen a single pony enter or leave your chambers." As much as the younger princess stared, she could not sense any deception upon their faces, but it could have been years of training behind that stoic look. Still, if she could not trust her own guards, then she could not trust anypony but her sister.

"Very good, Lieutenant," she nodded as she made for her chamber door. Unfortunately, she could not see the smirks on their faces as she opened the dual portals. Everything seemed all clear to the moon princess, but she still proceeded forward with caution. With a full-on prank war declared, Celestia could use any one of her ten million sneaky little tricks to get back at her.

However, the moment she placed a single hoof beyond the threshold of her door, the world spun and warped as if being sucked down a drain. Luna could tell that she had walked into a one-time teleport spell almost immediately, which begged the question of where she would end up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, all but expecting an express ride to that little castle she made on the moon to pass the time.

Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, Celestia possessed far more tact then that. As soon as she opened her eyes, she found herself in a cramped little green room with a bewildered-looking Pegasus sitting right in front of her. It took her a couple of seconds to realize that she had been teleported into a bathroom stall. He started screaming, covering up what he could, causing the princess to scream and claw at the stall door with her hooves, desperate for escape.

After a couple of terrifying seconds, she managed to break free of the cramped, green stall and out into the main part of the bathroom. She instantly regretted doing that. There, standing in front of her had to be about a dozen colts, all in the midst of bathing themselves under the rows of shower heads. More screams erupted from the bathroom, not because she had seen the guards naked (since ponies never really wore clothes to begin with) but because she had invaded the privacy they were entitled too.

Luna welded her eyes shut and made a beeline for the door, using her magic, which nearly ripped the thing off its hinges. However, unbeknownst to the alicorn, one of the guards had dropped a bar of soap right in the path of her flight, causing her hoof to come into contact with it. For the second time in a week, she slid out of control, past the open door, and crashed through one of the opposite side of the hall.

When the princess opened her eyes again, she found herself wedged in a laundry cart full of dirty clothes, her flank high in the air beyond the rim of the large container. With as much dignity as she could muster, she pulled herself out of the laundry cart, flopping onto her side as the contents spilled. Several saddles, socks, and pieces of armour rained on top of her. "I hate socks," she spat as she shook her horn free from an obnoxious, rainbow-coloured tube sock.

Disappearing in a flash, the younger princess appeared at the scene of the crime to find her two door guards roaring with laughter. She shot them both a scolding look before they smirked and radiated golden light, combining to complete the form of her older sister. "Why Luna," she said with an air of smugness, "If you wanted to go have some 'unconventional' fun with the guards, you could have just summoned one or two to your chambers. They DO deliver, you know."

"You're... so... DEAD," Luna growled before teleporting into her suite.

~*///*///*///*~

The next morning found the lunar princess awake far before the dawn with a strange smile, given the circumstances, plastered on her face. She trotted down the usual gilded marble halls and down into the cold stone of the basement, towards her goal. The only thing down here that would pique the interest of the royal family would be the archives, but nopony knew she had no interest in looking up an obscure fact in a dusty, ancient book.

"P-princess Luna!" stammered the royal sister's head chef. The blue alicorn had suddenly come through the door to the royal dining room's dedicated kitchen, the white stallion just beginning to get things ready for the breakfast service. "I just opened the kitchen, so I'm afraid you'll have to wait if you're feeling peckish, your highness."

"Oh, no, I'm not hungry, Entree," Luna replied. "I just need you to point me in the direction of the muffin recipes. I've realized how useless and unproductive all of this pranking is, so I want to bake some apology muffins for my beloved Celestia."

"Oh, how wonderful," Entree Delights replied. "Wait right there, your highness: I know just the book." Soon enough, he trotted back to the moon goddess with a book levitating behind him in a soft white glow. "If there is anything else you may require, just ask." With that, he left her to her task, confident that she would not need assistance, or rather hoped so since he was on a tight schedule to get everything ready for breakfast, and make it fit for royalty.

The princess smiled and nodded her head, moving to an unoccupied corner of the kitchen. Her presence would be distraction enough without her getting underhoof and messing with the normal morning rhythm. Indeed, as she gathered the supplies she would need to create the batter, she found the kitchen staff awed by a member of the royal family working alongside common ponies, especially this early in the morning.

With the bowls, beaters and other utensils ready, the lunar princess went about gathering the flour, eggs, and other necessary items for the batter of her delicious muffins. She followed the recipe in the book down to the very punctuation, never mind the letter. However, just as she was about to pour the batter into the tray, she dumped a vial filled with blue food colouring, laced with a very special potion she had "cooked up", so to speak.

Luna giggled in delight as she poured the batter into the muffin tray, imagining her sweet, wonderful revenge for that tasteless bathroom scare. Forty-five minutes of patient waiting later, her muffins finished just in the nick of time, the waiting staff reporting Celestia's order to the kitchen staff. After dropping off her own order, the blue alicorn happily trotted up the stairs and into the dining room.

"Good morning, dear sister," she happily chirped.

"Luna? What were you doing down in the kitchens?" the elder alicorn asked, suspicious of her motives.

"Well..." she trailed, "I felt absolutely horrible about this silly prank war. I could NEVER hope to measure up to your years of trolling our subjects. So, to bury the proverbial hatchet, I decided to bake you some muffins. I did it all by myself to show you how sorry I am and how lucky I feel to have such an awesome and forgiving big sister like you!"

Celestia carefully picked up one of the muffins with her telekinesis, sniffing the confection to make sure the younger princess had not laced it with hot sauce or itching powder, or something equally heinous. Sensing no danger, she took a small nibble of the baked treat. "Mmm!" she murmured with delight, "Are you sure your special talent is raising the moon, Luna? This is simply divine!"

"Oh, I'm glad you like them, Celly! Here, have the whole dozen. I'm not in a muffin mood this morning, myself." A shadow of a smile crept across her muzzle as her sister happily took the entire tray, blissfully unaware of the humiliation that awaited her in just two mere hours. Soon, vengeance would be hers, and in record time too, since there was only one more day left in Foal's Week.

A couple of hours later, the younger sister happily trotted up the forward grand staircase in the entrance hall, up to the throne room. She nodded politely to the guards and said hello to the waiting petitioners before quietly entering the chambers to watch the show as her special muffins kicked into effect. The moon princess nodded to the guards and her sister before sitting beside her to begin court for the day.

The first petitioner passed normally, and so did the pony after that. It was not until about the fifth pony for the day that the muffins began to take effect on the solar sister, obviously delayed by her power and divinity. "So, I was thinking that it would be a wise investment to harness the power of lightning for pony use," spoke the brown colt. "I have an idea on how to do this and with your permission, I'd like a research grant and... your highness? Um... are... are you okay?"

One of Celestia's eyes had drifted into an obscure corner of her socket, leaving the other trained on the pony in front of the royal sisters. Luna crack a smile and tried to suppress a giggle over what was about to occur. "Um... that sounds fine..." the solar sister mused, "... but I think MUFFINS sound better! Muffins for everypony!" Suddenly, a giant storm cloud appeared in the throne room, the baked treats raining down everywhere. Every possible flavour started pelting everypony, causing some to flee the refurbished room in terror.

Meanwhile, Luna clutched her sides, tearing up from laughter as magical muffins rained down all around her. Sure, Celestia would be royally pissed off... but not for another two or three hours when the spell wore off. By then, she hoped to be far enough away to avoid her initial indignation. No matter the punishment, she would always treasure the memory of Princess Celestia: The Muffin Mare!

~*///*///*///*~

Later that evening, the younger alicorn trotted down the stairs to the dining room in triumph. The castle was in an uproar over her devilish little prank, not soon to be forgotten by any present member of the staff. For the past few hours, Celestia had terrorized the entire facility with muffin-related shenanigans, including making the main fountain spew the treat instead of water.

A certain grey Pegasus from Ponyville nearly had a heart attack in delight of what she saw whilst delivering a package to the solar pony from her faithful student. Luna had never seen a Pegasus do the backstroke in a pool of muffins before, so the day had turned out far better than expected. However, her thoughts soon became dark as her imagination kicked into overdrive about how her sister would seek her revenge.

Still, much to her credit, she kept that grin plastered on her face as she entered the dining room, her sister already seated on the far side, a serious look upon her face. The elder princesses' front legs lay flat on the table, her normally soft lavender eyes hard and cold. Luna gingerly seated herself in her chair, half expecting the elaborate piece of furniture to be electrified. "Sister," Celestia spoke as soon as the blue alicorn's rear end made contact with the cushions, "I think this stupid little prank war has gone on long enough. It was fun while it lasted, but what you did this morning was a severe breach of my trust for you."

The blue princess felt her ears droop and bit the corner of her mouth in apprehension. Her tone was not that of anger, but of severe disappointment. Sure, she knew she crossed a line when she spiked those muffins, but she had it coming! "If I cannot trust you, Luna," she continued, "Then I cannot afford to trust anypony. Let us call it a victory for you, and leave it at that. Ambassador Longfang will be here tomorrow, and he will be thrilled to see you again after your time away. Dragons do not appreciate pranks, if you will remember."

"Yes, sister," Luna replied. She never intended to shake Celestia's trust in her since it was all in good fun... was it not? Still, there was no denying her words, or the fact that dragons simply did not understand a good prank. Granted, it would be wonderful to see her old (and ancient, by then) friend once more.

"Good. With that out of the way, I have some good news for you," the regent of the sun smiled.

"Oh, what is it?"

"Three weeks ago, I wrote to your favourite author: Baroque Quill. I told him how much you adore his works, and he was excited to hear that you of all ponies regard him as your favourite. So, I took it upon myself to arrange a get-together for you two. You will meet outside the gates tomorrow at sunrise and spend the whole day together before the dinner for Ambassador Longfang."

"REALLY!?" the blue alicorn jumped, beyond excited. Baroque Quill was only the best (living) author ever, and her sister set her up on a... on a date with HIM!? She was almost as giddy as a school filly to meet such a creative soul! In her mind's eye, a vision of a tall, handsome stallion stood before the gates of the castle, bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun, his eyes like jewels and his coat as smooth as silk. Luna wolfed down her meal and trotted off to her room to get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be the best day ever!

Dawn came swiftly and with little sleep for the moon princess, far too excited at the prospect of meeting such an amazing author as him. At about five in the morning, she abandoned the attempts at a night-long sleep and waltzed to her bathroom. There, she bathed in her private shower, trimmed her mane, brushed it all about one hundred times and even put on some dark eye shadow before she polished her crown, necklace and shoes. With everything ready to go, the alicorn happily cantered down to the front gates, her tail up high and swishing back and forth as she moved.

A large, eager grin manifested itself on her muzzle as her adornments shined in the twilight that proceeded the dawn. Luna had even set the moon early today so that she would not be bothered by her sisters' ethereal beckoning in the middle of a conversation. In fact, she was so excited that she whistled a cheery tune with no regard for any of the sleepy ponies who may have wandered out to begin their days. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ruin this day for her!

The doors to the castle opened with a creak and a low groan as the massive doors swung on their rusty, old hinges. Luna licked her lips as the drawbridge slowly lowered to open Canterlot Castle to the public for the day, the famous author surely beyond the massive planks of wood. As soon as it lowered, a carriage appeared on the other side, prompting the princess to hurry over to meet it.

As soon as the door of the carriage opened, a blur of seven colours filled her vision as she was tackled by some strange force and shoved roughly to the ground. Dazed, Luna's ears rung in her head, her world nothing but the dying stars present in the mauve sky overhead. Eventually, when the lunar princess regained her stature, she saw not the gorgeous stallion she imagined, but three over-excited fillies babbling back and forth to one another about something beyond her range of hearing.

One of them was a yellow earth pony filly with a dusty rose mane and tail. The second filly was an orange Pegasus with a soft lavender mane, while the third was a white unicorn filly with a two-tone mane of light pink and purple. Occasionally, a word would rise over the low din caused by the three excited foals, but not enough to be of any coherence to the blue alicorn.

"Pardon me, girls," the princess asked politely, "May I ask why you are here, and if there is anypony else in that carriage?"

"No, why would there be?" asked the earth pony.

"... Why are we here again?" the unicorn asked, looking around in a confused daze.

"To get our cutie marks, of course! Princess Celestia invited us over in one of her letters to Twilight and said that she could help us get them!" spoke the irritated orange filly. "Who are you supposed to be?" she asked rudely, looking the alicorn over.

"I'm Princess Luna," she replied. "I have no clue why my sister would tell you that she could help you earn your marks, but she is very busy preparing for a visiting foreign dignitary today, so I'm afraid you will just have to go home." The three fillies moaned, looking down to the ground, their eyes beginning to fill up with tears. They had come a long way for, obviously, nothing.

"Wait a minute," piped the unicorn. "You're a princess too, so you can help us!"

"Well, I guess, but I ca---"

"We could be her bodyguards!" cried out the Pegasus in excitement. "Then we could kick all sorts of flank!"

"That's not really---"

"Ah know!" chirped the yellow earth pony, "How about we be her royal chefs!"

"Didn't we already try baking?" asked the white pony.

"Oh! We could always be ones of those ponies that follows her around!" voiced the orange filly. "Then, if there IS any danger, we can help! What do they call those again?"

"Girls, I really don't thi---"

"Escorts!" exclaimed the unicorn. "We'll be her royal escorts!"

Immediately, their eyes sparkled at the suggestion of being around one of the princesses all day, even if it was not Celestia, as promised. The three put their heads together, gathered a single deep breath and shouted, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ROYAL ESCORTS! Yay!" Suddenly, Luna became very stiff at what she had just heard. Sure, the three ponies seemed vaguely familiar, but it was not until then that she had pinned just who they were.

Of all the ponies to use the bait and switch with, Celestia just HAD to use the three most energetic, mischievous and delusional fillies in all of Equestria. Electricity flowed through her blood as she realized that it was all a prank setup by her sister. She built up her hopes and crashed her dreams, then stuck her on babysitting duty with the most aggravating fillies she knew. The lunar princess bristled with anger, humiliation and tears at having been played the fool. Never in a thousand years would Luna do something so... cruel, so... heart wrenching to her sister.

Sadly, she would have to let those emotions stew, as she saw one of the ponies edge closer to the moat. "No! Um... Sweetie Belle! Stay away from there!" she panicked, flying over to save her from falling into the strong currents before the waterfall. It was going to be a long, long day.

~*///*///*///*~

Luna collapsed upon her bed, huffing and puffing, fuming over how her sister had played with her emotions and hurt her fragile feelings. She knew that she had a crush on the author, and she dared use it to make her a fool? That was not in the spirit of the holiday at all! The midnight princess sobbed into her pillow again, too emotionally distraught to even consider going to the welcome dinner for Longfang. She could just see Celestia downstairs in the state dining room, a cheesy grin on her face as she shrugged off her absence as something embarrassing, obviously.

Celestia knew how easy it was to build up her hopes, especially after all that happened over the past thousand years or so. How could she have been so cruel? Sure, she would have expected this from the Celestia she knew right before being banished, but her loving sister? How dare she play with her emotions like that!? That uptight, overzealous little tyrant needed to be taught a lesson, and in a big way that only a goddess could do!

A happy smirk crossed her muzzle as a plan formed. Getting angry had never done anything but cause trouble for her, so she would find another outlet for her divine fury. Being a sad sack would never earn her the respect she rightfully deserved either. Luna stood upright, her eyes shut in concentration. Wisps of cold midnight extinguished all light in the room, enveloping the blue alicorn as her smile became more devious and wicked.

Suddenly, flames as black as the abyss erupted around her in a controlled explosion of magic, the power coursing through her veins. A cold laugh escaped her muzzle as the familiar form returned to her, granting her a power she would not have otherwise. The mare stood taller than ever over her surroundings, her mane sparkling like the stars themselves, flowing like water. Out of the corner of her eye, a white Pegasus mare in a midnight body suit approached the princess, her head in a deep bow.

"It is a pleasure to see you like this again, my queen," the manifestation grinned.

"Shadow Star, my faithful servant," the midnight alicorn spoke in a lower, colder voice then she used to. "We have much work to do and little time in which to do it. Princess Celestia shall PAY for making a foal of me, the mistress of the moon, and I have just the plan."

"I am all ears, your majesty." The dark princess approached her servant and placed her muzzle against her ear, whispering sweet plots of revenge. Each word uttered made the enigmatic Pegasus grin more wickedly then the last, her amber eyes flickering behind her flight goggles. After several seconds, the queen of the night pulled away, leaving her servant to giggle in delight. "This will be more fun than the time you ordered me to steal her favourite bath pillow! I shall not fail you, Nightm---"

"Enough!" the alicorn chastised. "You have your assignment. Do not fail me!"

"Never, my queen." With that, the Pegasus opened up the chamber window and took flight, setting about her task.

A smile crept across her face as everything she hoped for was coming to fruition. Soon, she would have her revenge on her beloved older sister and everypony would respect her once more... or else! The mare chuckled as her body turned into a purplish mist, filtering under the door. It felt so good to have these powers back and it would feel even better once she had gotten even with the annoying sun-loving pony in the great hall.

Meanwhile, Celestia sat at her chair at the head of the table in the majestic state dining room. The ceiling above yawned out into the sky, enchanted to reflect the mood of the room so that she could swiftly end any uprisings. It served as a reminder to her about how far she had come since she made it: she never needed to use it anymore. To her right sat a large, red dragon wearing many golden rings upon his scaled fingers. He could never fit in the castle normally, but thanks to some enchantments, his weight and dimensions scaled down to an accommodating size.

"I apologize for Luna's absence, Longfang," the celestial pony spoke to her friend as the main course arrived. "I am afraid she became... indisposed and simply could not make it. I am sure she will be present for breakfast. It has been so long and she is genuinely excited to see such an old friend. Alas, the past year and a half has been rough on her: a new capital, new technology... and my new attitude to say the least."

"I understand, Celestia," the red dragon replied in a gruff, deep voice, "It is hard to believe that it has been one thousand years already. But, to be fair, it was expected considering how you were back then. I must admit I was honestly scared to be ambassador to Equestria when I was first appointed. But thankfully, that is now all behind us."

"Indeed. I can never apologize eno-" she replied, before being cut off by a loud crack of thunder. Everypony in the hall snapped to attention, looking around wildly to find the source of the noise. However, a new sound swiftly overcame the hall: a choir of mad laughter which chilled Celestia's blood. She felt her jaw drop and eyes glisten with tears. Had the princess inadvertently pushed her dear sister over the brink with her innocent little prank?

Suddenly, the massive doors leading into the great hall slammed open, revealing a towering mass of blackness, pushing wind into the room. The moving air howled past her ears, nearly drowning out the mad laughter of her younger sister. A low rumble sounded from the portal, causing her to wonder just what monstrosity was about to descend upon them. Frightened, the guests held their breath as the first creature popped through the black void... and then the next, and the one after that.

"Stampede!" cried one of the door guards as he was quickly overwhelmed by the white menaces that filtered past. Noble ponies cried out and screamed as the little horrors ran into the room and hopped upon the table. Try as they might to shoo them, the meddlesome little critters refused, chowing down on the ponies meals. How could she have done this!? Not only the technical aspect, but the fact that something like this just was not her style! Bunny rabbit after bunny rabbit poured through the portal, quite possibly the entire population of all Equestria!

Meanwhile, the noble ponies screamed and ran in terror, trying to get away from the common wild animals that dared to eat their fine cuisine. They simply did not know how to handle the adorable critters, and had she not had a dragon sitting beside her, she would have laughed as some of them fainted melodramatically. A wisp of purple smoke swirled into the room and coalesced on top of the table, tossing away some of the plates as the towering form appeared.

"How do you like your fancy dinner now, Celestia!" the midnight alicorn raised her voice over the din, cackling at the chaos. In an instant, all of the sun pony's fears and worries melted away, replaced with sheer joy and mirth. Luna stood tall, equally Celestia's own height. Her blue mane wafted in an ethereal wind, speckled with the twinkling of the night sky. She wore no dark armour and had no slit in her turquoise eyes, yet she carried a quiet power about her that no pony save the solar sister could quite comprehend.

"I love it, Luna!" she laughed out loud, causing a smirk to appear on the younger pony's face as well. "You really went all out with this!" The black void blocking the exit disappeared, allowing both bunnies and ponies to escape into the night, crying out in distress. Forgetting all protocol, the elder sister joined the younger upon the surface of the table, trotting over to give her a big hug. "It's so wonderful to finally see you confident enough to get back into your proper form!"

Once everything calmed down, the two sisters looked to their honoured guest and apologized for the mess and the chaos that had occurred. "It is no problem," he waved a clawed hand in gesture. "They were a stuffy bunch anyway. I am just so glad to see you both happy and together at long last." With the hall utterly ruined, the three retreated to the usual dining room to resume the meal in peace and quiet.

"You know, I learned something today," Luna spoke as she finished chewing on a piece of apple pie. "Sometimes the best way to deal with hurt feelings is to find something you enjoy and do it. Or, you can always find something to laugh at instead of staying angry or upset and letting those feelings fester."

"I learned something as well, dear sister," Celestia added with a bright smile. "Although it is good to have fun with others, and perhaps laugh at their expense, it is only okay to do so as long as things do not get carried too far, and feelings get hurt. I am truly sorry if I hurt you with my deception, Luna."

"It's fine, Celly," she chirped, "It was actually kind of funny in hindsight. Plus, I got to help steer those poor, misguided fillies a little closer to discovering their talents."

Sure, there would be some cleaning up, and explaining to do for the noble houses, but it was a small price to pay for the slice of happiness the two long-lived, world-weary ponies got to share. They laughed happily in the company of their old friend, ready to finally close a dark chapter of their lives and move on to something new, something brighter. Yes, there would still be dark days and bumps in the road ahead, but with their renewed love and trust, the sisters felt ready to tackle them... together.

--- The End ---