Leeeeeeeeeeeroy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to the amazing magic of two mysterious ponies named, oddly enough, Billy Goats and Frosty Blizzards both Personal computers and the magnificent land of Azeroth had become available to all ponykind. Although many ponies scoffed at the idea of wasting time in front of a screen, many more were captivated by the sprawling world of Warcraft. Most ponies only played the game casually, but some quickly reduced to puddles of gelatinous goo, energy drinks and Cheeto powder.
Luckily the drug of the web was not strong enough to bring the Elements of Harmony to this point, but it did make a fun way to spend a lazy evening at home. The guild that the Elements had made had just added a new member by the name of Leeroy Wingkins, whom led the rest of the guild to the upper levels of Blackrock.
The torches flickered, casting shadows throughout the corridors of Blackrock Spire. Those warriors with the skill to defeat Pyroguard Emberseer had gained access to the hall of binding and the rookery within. Although a breeding chamber doesn’t sound threatening to the untrained warrior, the dangers they had faced before this point were child’s play compared to the room that awaited them.
Within the rookery the monstrous dragonspawn and nearly endless swarms of whelps waited, with reinforcements waiting for a foolish warrior to stray too close to their eggs. At the end of the chamber the Father Flame awaited, as did Solakar Flamewreath.
Among those who had made it to this dangerous breeding ground was the guild , a brave group of warriors led by the fearless Twilight Sparkle, or as the internet knew her XxXLUV2READXxX.
“Okay girls, these eggs have given us a lot of trouble in the past. Do we need anything off this guy, or can we bypass him?”
“We believe Leeroy needs something from him” said Luna, who had found MMOs an easy way to re-adjust to life in Equestria.
“Oh, he needs those devout shoulders? Does he? Isn’t he a paladin?”
“Yes, but it would increase his ability to heal, and he would have more mana.”
“Oh Celestia, okay, well what we’ll do is I’ll run in first and gather up all the eggs, so we can kind of blast them all down with AoE. I will use intimidating shout to kind of scatter them so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of them at once. When my shout’s done I’ll need Rainbow Dash to run in and drop her shout too, so we can keep them scattered and that way we don’t have to fight too many."
“Got it.” Replied Rainbow Dash clear on her instructions.
“When hers is done Fluttershy, of course, will have to run in and do the same thing.”
“Understood.” Fluttershy answered, clearly more confident behind a computer screen than in person.
“We’ll need divine intervention on our mages so they can AE and we can, of course, get them down fast. We’re bringing in all these ponies so we’ll be in trouble if we don’t take them down quick. Personally, I think it’s a pretty good plan, so I think we could pull it off this time. What do you think Luna; could you give me a number crunch real quick?”
“Of course, please give us a moment. We are getting a success rate of 32.33-repeating of course- percentage of survival.”
“Well that’s a lot better than we usually do. So-”
“Times up, let’s do this”
Suddenly the once idle Leeroy Wingkins had risen, full of foolhardy bravado. He charged into the rookery with blatant disregard of his safety or the safety of his comrades. The mighty paladin ran screaming at the top of his lungs the cry of a true warrior, “LEEROY A-WINGKINS!”
Still in a state of shock, Twilight quickly attempted to regain control of the situation, however it was clear that her planning had gone to waste.
“Dear sweet Celestia, he just ran in.”
“Save him!” shouted Rainbow Dash
“Oh jeez, stick to the plan,” Twilight replied, “just oh jeez, stick to the plan.”
The rookery was now full of the whelps Twilight had planned so hard to minimize encounters with. Unfortunately, due to Leeroy’s complete foolishness she and her guild were being slaughtered. Rarity and Applejack were trying to fight back, using divine intervention to little effect.
“I can’t cast! I can’t move!” Fluttershy cried, “am I lagging I can’t move!”
“What the hell?” Twilight said, clearly losing her grip, “I can’t believe- and oh, they’re respawning! I don’t think you can cast with that shit”
“Take it off! Take it off!” cried Rainbow Dash, outnumbered by the whelps.
“We got him, we got him.” Yelled Pinkie Pie, in response to Rainbow’s distress
“Oh, sweet Celestia!” Cried another of Twilight’s friends, however, whom she couldn’t tell as the all were shouting at once.
“Celestia damn it Leeroy!” shouted Twilight, finally losing her cool. “Celestia damn it. Leeroy you moron, this is ridiculous. Why do you do this shit Leeroy?”
“It’s not my fault.” Leeroy’s courage was quickly evaporating, his warrior’s heart turning into fear and embarrassment.
“Use the soul stone.” Said Rarity. “We do have a soul stone don’t we?”
Unfortunately her inquiry was too late, nearly the entire guild had been slain, and the whelps were making sure that those who were left wouldn’t be for long. It a matter of seconds the entire guild had fallen due to the poor choice of one member.
“Great job everypony, great job. Leeroy you are just stupid as hell.” Twilight said irritated
The response of the foolhardy pony would forever be written in the history books, a rebuttal of the caliber of Leeroy’s would easily destroy the fabric of time should it be used regularly. His response was enough to make demons flee in terror and gods bow in respect. For, despite the horrors the rookery had shown both Leeroy and the rest of his guild it had not tarnished his wit or his spirit.
“At least I have muffins.”
