The Arabian Mole

I sat outside the small coffee shop, watching carriages go by over the top of today's newspaper. The refreshing sea breeze ruffled my lime green coat as I waited patiently for my target. The birds chirped in soft tones as street vendors struggled to sell their wares. The soft Vanhoover rain drizzled against the rooftops.

I glanced at my watch and sighed. Already 5 minutes late. I hailed the waitress with a flick of my hoof.

"Yes sir, what could I get you? Another coffee, or one of our fine pastries perhaps?" She asked in a cheerful, slightly bored tone.

"Another coffee please. Black. No milk or cream." I answered quickly.

She wrote my order carefully down on her notepad.

"Will that be all, sir?" The waitress asked in a businesslike tone.

"Yes, yes that's all" I said, shooing her away. I had to watch out for my target.

Another minute passed. Saddle Arabian agents were not known for being tardy.

I took out my radio.

"Are you sure the target is supposed to be here?" I whispered carefully from behind my newspaper.

"The Saddle Arabian agent we captured said he was supposed to meet the target at the coffee shop for the file exchange." Mission control answered in a simplistic voice.

"Well, she's not here!" I complained, probably louder then I should have.

I slammed the newspaper into table, and rested my head on my hooves. Mission control can be hopeless sometimes They have no idea what they are doing. The waiter came back with my coffee. I sat there drinking the hot beverage slowly.

I felt a cold, metal object poke into the back of my head. A pistol. The pistol racked it's slide, pulling a round into the chamber.

"Excuse me, could we take a quick trot?" A mare's careful tone asked from behind me.

Trembling, I nodded worryingly. I wasn't about to argue with a loaded gun pushed against the back of my skull.

We stepped onto the wet street. The pistol was hidden in my mane as we trotted to keep it from public view.

"Are all Equestrian agents this obvious?" She chuckled. "You practically screamed 'undercover'."

I grumbled. This wasn't in the plan!

We clopped into an alleyway. The wet Vanhoover rain trundled off the adjacent rooftops. A scurrying rat darted from box to box, looking for food. We went to the end of the alleyway. It was a dead end. The pistol against the back of my skull was removed.

"Hooves on your head, turn around slowly. No funny business." Gulping, I did what the mare asked.

As I turned around, her hoof came up and struck my head. I sprawled across the alleyway.

"Shit!" I screamed in pain, standing up and clutching my jaw with my hoof. I got my first good look at her. A sand-coloured unicorn mare with a  short cut brown mane. Her cutie mark was hidden behind a long trench coat.

"Get your hooves on your fucking head" She screamed. I obliged, not wanting to get shot full of holes.

"Now, you are going to answer some questions for me, okay?" The mare said through gritted teeth. The water continued trundling down into the alleyway.

"Cunt" I grumbled, not looking her in the eye.

In a flash, her hoof knocked my front hooves away, smashing my already damaged jaw against the hard concrete of the wet alleyway.

"You answer my questions, I don't shoot a bullet through your simplistic brain. Now where are the files?" My laugh made her clutch the gun harder. Sweat poured down her brow. She was obviously worried now.

"Where the fuck are they?" She trembled. Obviously these files were not supposed to be in Equestrian hands. I just laughed harder.

"Shutup!" She whacked me hard in the side of my head.

"Could you stop hitting me?" I groaned. She ignored my question.

She started to back up. "You have them, don't you? FUCK!" She screamed. Her concentration dropped for a nanosecond. That's all I needed. I charged, knocking the pistol out of her magic aura. It clattered across the wet stone of the alleyway. She looked at me, and bolted. I picked up the pistol in my teeth and followed her.

She cut down the street and into the marketplace. Cursing, I followed her. The throng of the marketplace would hide her. I caught the tip of her trench coat in the crowd, and followed. It took winding she took wanting turns around the stalls, and I struggled to follow. She started to slow down, obviously thinking she had lost me. She finally stopped beside the wall a building. Trembling, she fumbled out a cigarette and began to light it. I smiled and took out my radio. I dialed into the agency frequency. "Agent flame here." Are you there, Ms. Parsnip?" The radio crackled.

"Parsnip here, did you catch the Arabian agent yet?" She asked through the radio.

"Not quite. Say, do we still have the blocks of plastic explosive from the last bust?"

My question caught her by surprise. "Sit, whatever do you need that for?" She puzzled.

"Just wire it up to the ceiling and set the frequency to 76.4."

"The ceiling? You want to blow the ceiling?" She asked in disbelief.

"Just do it." I answered before smiling and closing the radio.

I trotted out into the open where the mare could see me. "Equestrian Spy Agency! You Are under arrest!" I announced to her.

Startled, she dropped her cigarette and made a beeline for the fire escape of the building. I just stood on the ground and stared up at her. I took out the radio and set it's frequency to 76.4. Just as she got to the roof of the building, I pressed the red 'Transmit' button on the handheld radio. Nothing happened.

"Fuck!" I shouted, and pressed it again.

For a second. Nothing happened. Then, a loud 'Boom' and a plume of debris came off the top of the building. I grinned and slowly walked up the fire escape.

The damage to the building wasn't major, only the roof had crumbled in. The unconscious body of the sand-coloured mare lay in the middle of the pile of rubble. I dropped down into the room and quickly handcuffed her. I took off my coat and dusted it off.

Parsnip came in with a tray of tea. "Welcome back, Mr. Flame! May I take your coat?" She said cheerfully, sweeping rubble off my desk and placing the tray down. "Oh, and Twilight wanted to speak with you about the 'Damages'."

I smiled. A normal day in the office.