I Want a Throne

by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5451

Luna wants her own throne, but Celestia is a little reluctant to give her one for some reason.

She's been assured by her sister a thousand times that they are equals, so where the hay is her throne?

Published 2014-11-16 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-06 02:29:13 UTC

Game of Thrones

Princess Celestia tapped her hoof across the base of her throne with a constant, steady rhythm. Her eyes darted over the papers in front of her, scanning the proposed plans for any sign of faults within. Over a thousand years of experience with reviewing documents of this nature had given her a keen eye for detecting problems with government policies. For perhaps the first time in centuries, however, she couldn't seem to find a single problem in the one she was looking at. It was by far the most well-organized and brilliantly thought out proposal she had ever seen, though that shouldn't surprise her. The pony who drafted it was Twilight, after all. She set down the papers and looked in front of her. Twilight was before her, a look of eager hopefulness plastered on her face.

"Well, I've reviewed this as thoroughly as possible," Celestia said as a smile creased her lips. "And Twilight, I do believe that this will wor—"

"TIA!" The doors to her throne room suddenly burst open, sending a rushing wind flying towards them. The papers held in Celestia's lax magical grip were blown across the room. Twilight yelped in shock, falling on her backside. Celestia casually glanced up to see an upset Princess Luna standing in the doorway. "WE NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH THEE!" Luna was using the Royal Canterlot Voice, and that – coupled with her lowered eyebrows and scowl – suggested she might be angry. Two immediate possibilities came to the forefront of Celestia's mind; either somepony had just declared war on them, or Luna was just a little peeved that Prince Blueblood had taken her horn file again.

"What is it, Luna?" Celestia's partially annoyed voice asked.

"WE HAVE A DESIRE TO SPEAK WITH THEE IN PRIVATE!" Luna nudged her head towards Twilight.

Celestia looked down at her former student to see her frantically trying to recover the scattered papers. "No, no, no..." she mumbled under her breath as purple magic gripped hold of two pages and brought them to her nose. "These were supposed to go after paragraph 9 section 37 subsection 215, not before." Celestia could tell from Twilight's frazzled mane that they were past the point of salvaging the documents.

"Twilight," she calmly said to attract her attention. "Can you give us a moment? You can return to collect what remains of these later."

"But... I... they..." she sighed. "Yes, of course." Twilight mumbled something to herself, ruffling through the crumpled papers in her magic. She shuffled towards the door. "I'll just go and try to make some sense out of what I still have." The large doors of the throne room swung shut behind her.

Princess Celestia gazed at the several open windows. No doubt several of the documents had already flown out and into the busy streets of Canterlot, never to be recovered.

"I hope you're happy with yourself." She turned to her sister. "There goes a plan that would have forever eradicated tribalism from Equestria while simultaneously finding homes for every orphan from here to Manehattan."

"Oh." Luna bit her lip with the most mildest of apologetic glances. "Any hope to get it back?"

"It'll take Twilight at least another year to redraft everything," Celestia responded. "And even then, there's no guarantee."

On the outskirts of Ponyville, three fillies were dragging along a wagon full of pudding in an attempt to get their Cutie Marks. Suddenly, one of them froze, poked her head up, and glanced off into the distance at Canterlot.

"What's the matter, Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I... I don't know," Scootaloo admitted. "I just suddenly got the feeling that I've been screwed over."

"Anyway," Celestia moved on. "What did you wish to discuss?"

"Ah yes." Luna refocused herself. "I want a throne."

Celestia sank into the cushioned seat below her in shock. Her eyes widened in panic and darted off to the side. "Uh... W-what was that?"

"I. Want. A. Throne." Luna pronounced each word clearly, guaranteeing Celestia heard that time. "And preferably my own throne room, too, but I'm willing to negotiate when it comes to that."

"You want a throne," Celestia reiterated, a shakiness in her voice.

"Yes."

"Right now?"

"Naturally."

Her teeth clenched. She was thinking up a storm, trying to find something, anything, that would buy time. "Um... why do you want a throne?"

Luna sighed. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Noooo," Celestia said as slowly as possible.

Her sister's eyelids drooped in annoyance. "I'm a princess." Luna pointed to her crown to drive the point home.

"Really? You are? I had no idea! Let's talk about that instead."

"Tia."

"Sorry."

Luna continued with her explanation. "There are three other princesses of Equestria, and each of them have their own thrones." She pointed to Celestia. "You have one made out of solid gold. Cadence has one made of solid diamonds. Twilight got the Tree of Harmony to fly a chest into the ground and sprout an entire castle with not one, but seven thrones."

"In all fairness," Celestia interrupted. "Six of those thrones are for her friends."

Luna stomped her hoof on the floor. "Exactly! And they're not even princesses." Luna puffed out her chest. "So where is my throne?"

"Lulu, you don't need a throne," Celestia weakly attempted.

"Don't need one?" Luna roared. "Do you have any idea how degrading it is to have to stand next to you while you sit whenever we meet with foreign dignitaries?"

"Well..."

"Do you know how tired my hooves get after standing for eight hours everyday during court?"

"Um... maybe..."

"Do you even want to know how many blisters I have?" Luna prepared to remove her hoof brace, likely more than willing to assault Celestia's eyes with callouses untold.

"No! Don't!" she pleaded. Begrudgingly, Luna left her hoof alone. Celestia sighed. "Luna, I am sorry that you feel this way... but you can't get a throne."

"Why not?" Luna demanded.

"Because I said so," Celestia said. This excuse normally worked with Twilight, so she was hoping for similar results here. She wasn't going to get them.

"That's not good enough, Tia," Luna cried. "What's going on with you? Why are you so adamant that I don't get a throne? Do you hate my happiness?"

"Lulu..."

Luna didn't hear her, or if she did, she didn't care. "Oh look at that everypony, Princess Luna is smiling. Better call Princess Celestia so she can come and crush all of her sister's hopes and dreams."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"I just want to know what's going on." Luna pouted.

I'm going to have to tell her, Celestia realized. "Okay fine." she ruefully bowed her head. "The truth is... we're broke."

"...Excuse me?" Luna stepped forward, and cocked her head to the side.

"We don't have any money to get you a throne, Luna. We. Are. Broke."

"What? But... how? When?" Luna looked at the ground in shock. "This can't be."

Celestia stood up from her throne and walked over to Luna. "It's the truth, Lulu. If you go down to the Bank of Equestria and check our account, you will find the balance to be zero bits."

"I don't understand," Luna said. "Why didn't you tell me?

"I didn't know how to," Celestia admitted. "When you returned from exile, I was so embarrassed that I just decided to sit on the topic for a while... and you never found out, especially when I spray painted all that styrofoam gold and stuck it in the treasure vaults, so I just let the topic drop."

"This can't be," Luna firmly denied. "What about the tax revenue?"

"All taxes collected are immediately swallowed by the infrastructure and internal improvement bills. Not to mention the healthcare plans and the military budget."

"But what about trade?" Luna cried, still in denial. "Surely we get money from that!"

"All money we get from exports goes straight to paying for our imports." Celestia bit her lip. "And what little is leftover goes to the daily palace maintenance."

"What about the bank?" Luna shouted in desperation. "We could always take out a loan."

Celestia grimaced, and took a slow step away from her sister. "That is not an option either."

"Why not?"

She bit her lip. "Well..."

"Tia," Luna said, her tone angering. "What did you do?"

"A couple of centuries ago I took out a four billion bit loan from the bank and wasn't able to repay it. Instead I... convinced them to forgive my debt, but in exchange I had to promise that the royal family would never borrow money from them again." Celestia walked over to the window, not wanting to meet her sister's eyes.

"What did you spend the money on?" She heard Luna ask.

"Heh... I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this, Lulu."

"What was it?" There was a tone of anger laced in her sister's voice.

"..."

"Tia, what did you spend the four billion bits on? Was there a war? A famine?"

"Cake."

Luna's surprised blink was almost audible. "Cake?"

"Cake." Celestia's face was red. "I spent four billion bits on cake. A few donuts too... but mostly cake."

"So... the reason I can't have my throne, is because a few hundred years ago you got the craving for a ton of cake?"

"It was actually nine hundred tons of cake," she said. "But yes." She turned around and could see the anger bubbling onto her sister's face. "Lulu..."

"I can't believe you!" Luna furiously shouted. "Are you saying I will never be able to have my own throne?"

"Well you could always get a job and pay for it yourself." Celestia felt like an idiot before the words even left her mouth.

Luna's face contorted into a mixture of hatred and betrayal. "You are the worst sister ever!"

The words stung. A lot. So did the slap across her face that Luna delivered immediately after saying the words.

"Lulu, calm down."

"No! I will not calm down. I am furious, Tia! I can't just stand at your side for eternity, I just can't."

Celestia had to think quickly. The last time Luna got this angry she turned into a being of unspeakable evil and tried to blot out the sun. Before she could even form half of a plan, Celestia nervously spoke. "Um... just kidding, Lulu."

Luna gave her sister a sideways glance. "What?"

"Yep, haha, I got you..." Celestia took a step toward her sister. "O-of course we're not broke. I was just... uh... stalling for the surprise!"

"Surprise?" Luna asked quizzically. "What are you talking about, Tia?"

"I've... uh... had a throne under construction for a while now, just for you. I-In fact, I've had an entire throne room under construction just for you."

"Really?" Celestia forced a nod through her fake smile. "That's... that's amazing, Tia!" Luna flung her hooves around her sister's neck. "You really had me going there for a moment. The two of us broke, what a riot!"

"Hehe... yup."

"So can I see it?" Luna asked, releasing her sister. Her face was a giddy mixture of anticipation and excitement.

"See what?"

"My throne room of course! I want to see it, and sit on my new throne!"

"Uh... sure... come with me."

Celestia led Luna out of her throne room and down the halls of the palace. What am I thinking? I don't have a throne room to show her. All I'm going to be able to do is make her twice as mad as she just was. Celestia glanced back at her sister, who was humming an upbeat tune and skipping along. Great, just great. Well, maybe everything will be okay. I'll just take her around the castle a few times, say I'm lost, and we'll call it a day. Oh, who am I kidding? That won't work. I need a new plan.

They continued walking, eventually reaching a wing that Celestia was fairly certain her sister had never visited before. She began desperately looking around for something that might fool Luna into making her think she had her own throne. She came up with nothing, and just decided she would open the very next door as a last act of desperation. Luna would be mad, but at least they would have a few more seconds of being on good terms.

"I still can't believe you pranked me like that." Luna chuckled to herself. "I'd thought you stopped doing that a long time ago."

"Oh you know me," Celestia said through a forced smile. She stopped at a random door, hoping to Faust for a miracle to happen and for a throne to be on the otherside, despite how impossible she knew it was. "I'm full of pranks."

"Before we go in, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," Luna said. "You're not the worst sister ever. You're the best by far."

Celestia forced herself to keep smiling while internally she winced. "Thanks, Lulu." She slowly turned the knob of the door, but her sister got impatient and rushed in with a joyous grin on her face. It vanished almost immediately.

The room was bare, save for one small thing in the very center of it. It was most certainly not the throne that Luna expected to see.

"Tia, this is a toilet," Luna said, staring at porcelain seat in front of her.

"No it isn't," Celestia ad-libbed in desperation. Luna walked over, and flipped the little switch on the side. It made a flushing noise as water was pumped down a drain. Luna watched as more water filled up the bowl of the toliet.

"Okay, Tia." Luna giggled. "Very funny. You got me a second time. Now really, where is my throne?"

Celestia opened her mouth to respond, and then teleported away in a blinding flash of light.

Game Over

Twilight inhaled deeply, exhaled, and repeated the process. It did very little to assuage her nerves, but at least it did something. She must've used Cadance’s breathing technique at least two hundred times since leaving Canterlot, and it was only starting to work towards calming her down.

Strewn about before her were sheets of paper by the dozens… scratch that, by the hundreds. They covered the table before her in a multiple layers of her proposition. Spilling over onto the floor, were even more, some regarding the parts about tribalism, others about the homes for orphans project, and the rest about how those two linked together.

In total, it didn’t even make up half of her original proposal.

Some of the papers were still in Princess Celestia’s throne room. The rest… who knew? They’d been flung out the window and into the bustling streets of Canterlot. Twilight had only given it a few minutes of searching before the crippling logic of her reality set in; she was going to have to restart her proposal from nearly the beginning.

At first, she’d been despondent. The flight back to her castle was gloomy to the point where she’d almost considered scrapping the idea altogether. After all, it had taken her months just to refine it to what it was. Even if she did have parts of it, there would still be the arduous process of reconstructing the lost papers.

She’d entered her home completely ready to forget the proposal altogether when something struck her. She still remembered it. Thousands of details about the proposal was still drilled into her head. It wasn’t flawless, but her mental manuscript would be enough for her to rebuild everything by the end of the week. Possibly sooner.

Elated with her discovery, Twilight proceeded to lock herself in her study, and pour over the papers. Once she was certain it would be possible, she dabbed her quill lightly into her inkwell, and grabbed a fresh sheet of parchment. All she needed now was some peace and quiet to think.

It was at that moment that every single window in her castle shattered. A penetrating shriek took hold of Twilight, bombarding and eventually crushing her eardrums to the point where she almost blacked out.

“TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Luna inhaled deeply, exhaled, and repeated the process. It did next to nothing to sooth her blatant, throbbing rage. A mere second after her sister’s teleportation was all it took to realize that Celestia had been lying. Upon comprehending, Luna’s vision went scarlett with fury and she’d shouted while using the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Now, every muscle in her body was stiff with anger as she marched through the halls of the castle, past shattered window panes and guards with bleeding ears. Behind her, wrapped in a azure aura of magic, was the “throne” that her sister had attempted to give her. Luna had promptly ripped it from its spot with the intention of bashing it over her sister’s head. Of course, she knew that was far too lenient of a punishment for lying to her about not only the throne, but the state of their finances as well.

Honestly, the Princesses of Equestria are bankrupt? How could she keep this from me? And then lie about it right after telling me? And then lie again about my throne?

It was an injustice of the highest order. Luna had never felt so insulted in her life, including the time just after her return when Prince Blueblood thought she was his new maid. However, while the spoiled prince had only gotten himself a free skydiving lesson (parachute not included), Luna had already decided that her sister deserved something much worse.

Perhaps you’re being just a bit unfair to her. After all, she is your sister, a tiny voice in the back of her mind said.

Her eyes glinted back to the toilet she held in her magical grasp as she recalled the fact that her sister had thrown them into destitution in order to pig out on nine hundred tons of cake.

The tiny voice spoke again. Nevermind, I was wrong. Let the traitor suffer!

The callouses on her hooves split as her pace quickened, but Luna couldn’t feel it over her immense fury. She finally came across a guard whose ears were not bleeding, and stopped.

“YOU THERE!” she said in the Royal Canterlot Voice. He flinched.

“Not so loud!” the guard begged. “Please, my ears are still ringing!”

Feeling a sliver of sympathy, she lowered her voice a tad, but her seething rage was still palpable. “Didst thou see our sister recently?”

“Not since this morning. Why, did you…” he trailed off as Luna brushed past him, back to searching. “Hey, is that a toilet?”

Luna continued storming through the castle. She came across very little, aside from some bits of shattered window and a few more recently-deafened guards. It didn’t deter her however, as she made sure no room in the castle was left unturned during her hunt. The last place she came across was the throne room.

So this is where you’re hiding, Tia. Luna grinned, ready to exact her long awaited vengeance of thirteen whole minutes.

Kicking them open for the second time that day, she yelled out, “TIA!”

An empty room echoed her voice. Luna squinted, and trotted in. “Tia? Come on out and take what’s coming to you!” She raised the toilet above her head. Luna didn’t really have much of a plan for it, but it would be nice to break it over her sister’s head if she had the chance.

She didn’t get the chance.

Luna sighed, setting the toilet on the ground and inspecting the throne room closer. After completing a full sweep of the room, she could safely say that her sister was not here. In fact, the only thing that was here was her golden throne. It stood in the center of the room as it always had, but now it served only add to Luna’s rage.

“I bet you were expensive,” Luna said to the throne, her eyes narrowing. “My sister did not seem to have any problem raising the funds to construct you.”

The throne offered no response.

“This is ridiculous,” Luna turned, now speaking to herself. “Where could she be?” Her blistered hoof tapped against the marble floor as she pondered.

She wouldn’t be anywhere nearby, Luna reasoned. Tia would’ve gotten far away. Maybe to the Griffon Kingdoms, or Saddle Arabia. No… not that far. She’d go to somepony she could trust ... Twilight, perhaps.

She decided that Ponyville would be where she’d look next.

“I’m going to find you, Tia,” Luna declared loudly, hearing a squeak of pain from some guards outside the throne room. “No matter where you hide!” Her horn ignited, and with a flash both she and the toilet were gone.

Celestia inhaled deeply, exhaled, and repeated the process. It did absolutely nothing to quell the heart-pulsating fear that plagued her. She wedged her shoulders closer to her body, not that it was needed. The cramped space she’d taken to hiding in was already compressing her body enough. It was made worse by her lack of light, but she tolerated it. She even tolerated the broom handle that was currently jabbed into her back. It was a little more than uncomfortable but she didn't have much else to complain about. Even if this experience gave her claustrophobia, it would be worth it to avoid Luna’s wrath.

Mere moments ago she’d heard Luna screaming in the Royal Canterlot Voice. That wasn’t a promising sign. Luna only did that when she was irreparably furious. In fact, the last time she was this angry… actually, Celestia couldn’t remember the last time Luna had been this angry. Even when she turned into Nightmare Moon she hadn’t been this furious.

Perhaps I should have selected a better hiding spot, she thought to herself. Luna may figure out where I am at any mo–

Light suddenly shot into Celestia’s tiny nook. Before she could stop herself, she let out a very unregal whimper, fearing her sister had found her and was ready to enact her vengeance. Preemptively, she winced, bringing her hooves up to cover her face as she did so. She half expected to be beat over the head with a toilet, despite how ridiculous that would be even for Luna.

“Princess Celestia?”

Lowering her hooves, Celestia sighed with relief to find that it was merely her former student who had discovered her, not her enraged sister. “Hello, Twilight.”

“Um… why are you here? In my closet?”

"...Why are you here?"

"I'm looking for a broom; there's a lot of broken glass to sweep up right now." Her head lowered in exasperation. "A whole lot."

Celestia nodded, figuring Luna's scream would've broken a number of windows. "Allow me to apologize on behalf of my sister."

"That scream was from Luna? How... why..."

Celestia's eyes darted to the left. "It's a long story..."

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Are you going to tell me it?"

"Preferably not."

Sighing, Twilight put her hoof to her forehead. "Can you at least give me my broom?"

Her horn sparking to life, Celestia shifted as much as she could and yanked it out from behind her. The filthy ends of the straw brushed over the side of her face, and she cringed. "Take it."

Twilight's own magic accepted the broom. "Thanks. So... Should I just..." She made a motion to indicate shutting the door.

Celestia nodded. "Please." The door swung shut. "Oh, wait. One more thing. If Luna comes by looking for me, than I am not here."

Twilight's eyebrows furrowed. "Okay..." The door inched shut until the last sliver of light was gone.

She was alone in the darkness once more. Form a moment, she did nothing but focus on their own breathing. Then Celestia’s stomach suddenly rumbled. “Oh, and Twilight, could you bring me a slice of cake?” No response. “All right then…”

"That was... unusual," Twilight muttered as she walked away from her closet. She turned her focus to the pile of glass shards before her. Sighing, she walked over and dragged the broom across the floor.

Luckily for her, sweeping required so little brain power, that she was able to recompose herself. Today was by far, one of the most bizarre she’d had in a long time. Between Celestia in her closet, and her proposal becoming more scrambled than eggs, she felt like going to bed already. Too bad it was only noon.

Okay, once I finish getting rid of all this glass, I’ll get right back to rewriting the draft. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten too much…

As she swept the pieces into one large pile, she went over the plan in her mind. There was still a faint ringing in her ears from Princess Luna’s scream, but she managed to ignore it. The intricate details of her thirty-nine point plan to eliminate tribalism were keeping her more than occupied.

Okay, so I still remember most of section forty-five, sub-section one hundred eighty-one, but I still can’t quite remember sub-section one hundred eighty-two, and that’s where I placed the majority of the connections between–

A low rumbling sound cut her into her train of thought. Twilight’s head whipped to the origin of the disruption. The closed closet door that currently housed Celestia stared back at her. Twilight sighed.

“Anything else want to interrupt me?” she asked to nopony in particular.

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” The unmistakable sound of Princess Luna bombarded her eardrums.

Twilight jolted from the force of the unexpected scream. It wasn’t nearly as powerful as the previous one, but it still caught her off guard.

“I was just joking!” she cried.

Celestia’s head whipped out of the closet. “Did you hear that?”

Twilight rubbed her ears. “Kind of hard not to.”

“Just remember: I am not here!”

“Yes, but–” Celestia slammed the door, cutting Twilight off. She sighed, and walked over to the nearest opening. Poking her head out of the former-window, she saw the Princess Luna angrily standing outside. Levitating next to Luna her was what appeared to be a toilet. Twilight narrowed her eyes when she saw it, fearing that this day was about to get even weirder.

“Twilight, tell my sister to surrender herself at once!” Luna was taking mercy on her and only shouting, not using the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Uh… wait one second.” Twilight moved her head back inside and turned to her door. She faced the closet. “Princess… I think she knows you’re here.”

She heard a soft whimper come from inside. “Just tell her I’m not.”

“I don’t think–”

“Just do it, Twilight! My life is on the line!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. As she turned to face the window and relay the information to Luna, a bright flash of light interrupted her. She back up as Princess Luna teleported in front of her.

“Where is my sister?”

Twilight blinked. “I… uh… she’s not here right now.”

Luna’s eyelids lowered. “Hmmph. Well, in that case, you won’t mind if I take a look around and–” A low rumbling sound interrupted her. Her head whipped around until she pinpointed the origin of the noise. The closet.

Twilight sheepishly grinned. Perhaps I should have gotten her that cake…

“So, she’s not here, huh?” Luna raised her eyebrow disappointedly at Twilight. “Right.” She faced the door. “Tia, get out of there.”

"..."

Luna huffed in annoyance. "Hold this," she commanded Twilight, tossing the toilet in her direction. Twilight let out a yelp, but used her magic to catch it before the porcelain struck her in the face.

"What are you going to do?" She asked, setting the toilet off to the side.

"I'm going to force my sister to come out of the closet," Luna said, her horn igniting. "And then I'll probably beat her."

"That seems a little excessive." Twilight's words fell on deaf ears as Luna approached the door. She hunched over and prepared to blast open the doorway, but Twilight jumped in front of her. "Wait!"

Luna groaned, but dimmed her magic. "What?"

"This is ridiculous! Princess Celestia is your sister! Shouldn't you at least talk this out?" She glanced from the closet to Luna. "Whatever this is."

"She had her chance to talk, but instead she chose to lie to me." Luna glared daggers at the closet. "And bankrupt the kingdom!"

Twilight whipped her head towards the door. "Is that true?"

"We're not bankrupt!" Celestia meekly replied. "We just break even every year."

"Semantics!" Luna cried, outraged. "The bottom line is you lied to me! Not to mention now I may never get my own throne!"

"You want a throne?" Twilight asked. "That seems like a trivial thing to start a fight about."

"You're one to talk, Ms. I Have Seven Thrones."

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Princess, this is ridiculous.”

“I agree, I shouldn’t have to put up with such a terrible sister!” Luna glowered at the closet.

“You’re the one trying to hit me!” Celestia cried from inside.

“Both of you are acting like foals!” Twilight shouted. Her outburst caused Luna to take a step back. Celestia might have done the same, but there was no way for Twilight to tell. She pointed to Luna. “Can you act civil for the next five minutes?”

“...Maybe.”

“I’ll take it.” She turned to the closet. “Princess, get out here.”

“I don’t trust this.”

Luna groaned, charged up her horn, and fired a beam of magic at the thin, wooden door that separated Celestia from the rest of the world. It blew apart into thousands of splintery pieces, leaving Celestia exposed. Her face probably would’ve paled if it was possible, and she shrunk as far back into the tiny room as she could.

Twilight turned to Luna. “I said act civil!”

“And I said maybe.” Luna replied, her voice still laced with numb rage. “Besides, a thousand years ago, that would have been civil.”

“All right, fine. Whatever!” Twilight looked between Celestia and Luna. “Look, I don’t have all day to mediate this. I have to get back to fixing my wrecked proposal.”

“You mean that thing about the orphans?”

“Yes… partially… look, can we just resolve this quickly?”

Celestia creeped out of the closet slightly, attaining a little confidence due to the fact that her sister had yet to beat her to a pulp. “What did you have in mind, Twilight?”

Looking from one to the other, Twilight put on a thinking face. “So… you lied to Princess Luna about getting her a throne, and bankrupted the kingdom, right?”

Celestia’s head sunk. “Yes.”

“Well, I think you should make it up to Princess Luna somehow then.”

Luna scoffed. “She’d have to do an awful lot to make it up to me.”

“L-like what?” Celestia hesitantly asked.

Luna thought for a moment, and then grinned wildly.

"...So, in order to effectively move forward with this new plan, we have to raise taxes slightly in order to accommodate the costs. The benefits will hopefully make up for this though, don’t you agree, Luna?” Celestia looked from her advisor Inkwell to her sister.

Luna took a sip of her tea and nodded. “Yes, absolutely.”

“Very good. Inkwell, any questions?”

The stout stallion bit his lip. “Just one… why exactly are you conducting royal affairs from a toilet?”

Celestia sighed. Below, her body slid under the slick porcelain and she struggled to stay upright in her seat. Her lanky legs did her no favors as she struggled to find a comfortable position on the toilet. No matter what she tried she always ended up with her four limbs protruding in an awkward, unregal manner. It was uncomfortable to say the least, and the cold, hard porcelain wasn’t doing her any favors. She glanced up at her sister, who seemed to be doing just fine on her old throne, if not a little smug.

“It’s a long story, Inkwell,” Celestia finally responded. Luna giggled.

“...Very well then.” Inkwell bowed and exited the throne room. Celestia moved around again, still uncomfortable.

“How long will it take for the taxes to raise enough money for your throne?” she asked.

Luna glanced down at the files in front of her. “According to the estimates… about fifty years. Thanks for lending me yours in the mean time, Tia.”

Celestia groaned, much to Luna’s delight. “You’re welcome… I guess.” It’s not like I had much of a choice in the matter.

“On the bright side, now you don’t have to get up when you go to the bathroom.”

“...Not helping Lulu.”

Luna laughed again, and reclined further into her cushioned throne, sipping her tea. “I know.”

Author's Note

Yay, happy ending.