The Great and Powerful Snails

Knock, knock.

Snails froze as he stared at the front door. He had just come up from the basement and still needed to cover up the entrance. In fact, he still had to close it!

“Open up. This is Silver Badge from the Ponyville Police Department.”

Snails dropped the plate with Trixie’s lunch as his heart hammered in his ears. “Yes sir. However, could you possibly come to the back instead? My living room is a mess.”

Snails waited a few moments before hearing the gruff voice call for him again. “You could at least be waiting for me.”

“Of course. Just one moment.” Snails picked up the dishes and clambered over to the kitchen to open the back door.

“You know it’s raining out there, right?”

“Sorry sir. Um, do you have someone waiting for questioning? You don’t normally come and visit.”

The light gray man ran a hand through his faded red hair as he sighed. “I’m sorry kid, but I’m here on more serious terms. Turns out your crush Trixie has gone missing. Someone finally bothered looking into the trailer instead of simply assuming she was being smart and hiding.”

Snails swallowed hard as he started cleaning the dishes. “How long do you think she’s been gone? I mean she could have simply been gone for a few hours and the person missed them.”

Silver shook his head slowly. “Nope. Even a rookie could tell that it’s been at least a few days with the amount of dust in there. Magnify estimates the kidnapping to be about a week and a half ago.”

Snails started the coffee maker in his kitchen which was met by a mumbled thanks from Silver. Snails sipped on a glass of milk before asking, “I’ve never seen a kidnapping before in Ponyville. What makes Magnify think that it isn’t a simple missing person? There is the Everfree nearby.”

Silver watched Snails fidget for a few moments before shaking his head. “Sorry Snails, but I’ve said too much about the case as it is. I’m supposed to be investigating your house and questioning you about Trixie.”

Snails’ glass shattered onto the tiled floor. “What… what makes you think I did it?”

“You’re the only pony who still talks to her. We don’t really think you had actually did it, but we were hoping you might be able to tell us to call off the search. Save us all a lot of work no one wants to do.”

Snails stood up and glared at Silver. “This is Trixie we’re talking about. How could you possibly just shrug her off as nothing important? She’s been by often enough to be considered a regular guest of Ponyville, so why don’t you want to find her?”

Silver grabbed the coffee pot and took a long drink. “Because of her frequent visits. Everytime she comes there is always some new bit of madness that follows. Whether it’s her humiliating other ponies or lighting a few buildings on fire with her ‘new and improved’ fireworks. If she wasn’t kidnapped then we want to know so we don’t have to bring you in to interrogate Snips.”

Snails heart almost stopped for a moment as he heard that. “W-w-why would you interrogate Snips?”

“Other than you, he’s the only other pony who might want to keep Trixie in Ponyville rather then kick her out with a swift boot, even with the falling out on his seventeenth birthday.”

Snails cringed at the memory of that disaster. Snips’ eighteenth had been plenty of fun, but Trixie had come back on the day of Snips turning seventeen. He of course had assumed that she had finally returned after four months just for his birthday. However, Trixie had been so tired that she forgot who he was and he had almost attacked her in response. He had never come to Trixie’s with Snails since.

“Is there anything you can give us to help, Snails? We’re ruling you out for the moment because it was pretty hard to figure out that she had been taken instead of leaving, and we all know how you aren’t always the brightest bulb. This seems a little too... orchestrated for you. No offense of course.”

Snails breathed an inner sigh of relief and nodded. “I understand and no, I can’t help. I’m sorry. Though, can I possibly get the next few days off and maybe skip the Snips interrogation? I have a lot to think about right now.”

Silver nodded and finished his coffee. “I get that. Babbling will be sad to see you gone though. I could tell her to come over and cheer you up. Maybe even a little more.”

Snails turned a bright crimson and looked down. “I’m good. Besides, I don’t have a stream nearby so Babbling probably wouldn’t make it anyways. Tell her I look forward to the next interrogation though.”

Silver shook his head as he put his jacket on. “I would go for it. Seapony or not, I think Babbling Brook really likes you and that you need to forget about Trixie already, even if she ends up showing her face again. Got it?”

Snails stared straight into Silver’s eyes and the cop felt a chill down his spine. “I love Trixie. No one is changing that, not ever.”

Silver nodded slowly as he reached for the door. The door to the living room. Snails tried stopping him but it was too late and Silver stared at the door in the middle of the sparsely decorated floor. “Mind telling me what the fuck this is?”

“It leads to my basement.” Snails couldn’t think straight to save his life. He felt like one of the prisoners he sparsely worked with. Not enough focus on one thing to lie, and not enough willpower not to answer a damn question. Wow, I kinda feel bad for them now.

“And what’s in the basement?” Silver barely nudged his jacket but a shimmer from his pistol caused a cold sweat break on Snail’s skin.

“Stuff. Very important stuff.”

Silver bit into his lip. He looked at Snails and felt a fierce apprehension overcome him as he tried to imagine Snails as a kidnapper. And then there would be reporting such a sweet kid. He glanced at the dark hole in the middle of the floor. He couldn’t hear or see anything, but he should still go down and check.

One more glance at Snails and Silver brought his hands to his forehead. “Too much work. Besides, I’ve probably just gotten too paranoid over the years. However, I need to know. You’re staying out of trouble, right?”

Snails was silent for a long time before finally answering. “I’m doing what I have to. I believe it to be right.”

Silver shook his head slowly. “Fine. Just make sure you remember what those two are, alright?” He left after Snails nodded, more then ready to go home and rest.

Snails collapsed onto the floor before curling up into the fetal position, the line all too apparent to him. Below him, Trixie was doing the exact same, having heard every word that was said.