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Fishy Business (45-minute flash poem; Adventure; Applejack)
"Now gather round me, sugarcubes," said AJ to the throng.were ..."Rarity ?" squeaked Sweetie Belle, astonished by the news.ideeeaa !I do. On their run'Shoo be doo!' "
Author's Note
At BUCK 2013, I entered the flash fiction challenge. We were confronted with three prompt words – llamas, piranhas and pyjamas – and given 45 minutes to come up with something. In longhand, too! I wrote my entry in verse. This is not it, since we didn't get our entries back, but it's along similar lines. It was written using the same prompts and to the same rules, time limit and all. And yes, also in longhand.
Did anyone catch the Blackadder reference?
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Everything is Awesome (story snippet; Comedy/Random; Rainbow Dash)
“Hiya, Pinks! Wanna see my totally awesome new routine? I’ve been practising it for weeks now and I guess it’s about time I showed somepony.”
“Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash!” said Pinkie Pie. “Is it, like, totally awesome, or is it just an itty-bitty, teeny-weeny bit awesome?”
Rainbow made a face. “Hey, come on, Pinkie Pie. I do not do stuff that isn’t totally, completely and absolutely awesome.”
“Oh, okay then,” said Pinkie. She skipped around a large rock on the ground, occasionally batting it with her tail and giggling. “La la la la la,” she sang.
“Er...” said Rainbow, “okaaay, Pinkie Pie. Your scales are really coming on; they’re actually pretty awesome. But can we please get going now? It’s almost three o’clock already.”
There was a moment’s silence.
“Um, Pinkie? Yeah, like I said, your singing is awesome and all... but... why are you looking at me like that?”
Pinkie was now standing stock-still, her eyes fixed on a spot just below Rainbow’s muzzle. The earth pony was blinking rapidly, giving her eyes the impression of having been painted on the card of a badly-adjusted zoetrope.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow uncertainly, “I don’t know what you’re doing, Pinkie, and I’m not really sure that I want to. Sooo... are you going to come and see my awesome routine or not?”
“You could always do it tomorrow!” said Pinkie suddenly.
“Um, why would I want to do that? I have to work tomorrow. There’s a real big storm scheduled, and it’s going to need an awesome amount of preparation. I can do this today.”
“Well, maybe,” Pinkie conceded. “I have to go make some cupcakes for Mr and Mrs Cake, but if you send a message to Gummy when you’re ready, he’ll be sure to let me know.”
“Um, awesome?” Rainbow’s ever-limited patience exhausted, she took off towards the centre of the village.
* * *
“...so I did it myself and saved on a whole load of trouble. Oh, hello, Rainbow Dash.”
“Hi, awesome!”
Twilight blinked. “Um, what?”
“You are so awesome !” squeaked Rainbow.
Twilight’s eyes darted about and she blushed slightly. “Oh, well, thank you, Rainbow. That’s very nice of you. But since you’re here, can I help you with something?”
“Awesomeness!” declared Dash, spreading her wings. “There’s this awesome new Daring Do series guide out; do you have it in your awesome new library?”
Twilight frowned. “Um, I don’t know about that, Rainbow Dash. It’s pretty new. The publishers may not have sent it out here just yet.”
“Can you at least check?” begged Rainbow. “You’re way too awesome for that to happen, Twilight!”
“Uh, Rainbow?”
“Yes, oh amazing, awesome friend who just happens to be the greatest librarian ever?”
“Why do you use that word every single time you say something?”
“What word?”
“Oh. Okay, maybe it was just a coincidence. Say, Dash, do you want to come look for the book with me now?”
“That would be totally awesome !” enthused Rainbow.
There was a pause.
“I think we need to get to the bottom of this,” muttered Twilight at length. “Okay, Rainbow Dash, a few questions. What do you think of Fluttershy?”
Dash looked bemused, but humoured the alicorn. “She’s a really good friend. She gets nervous a lot, and I’ll admit that sometimes that does make me frustrated, but she’s always stood by me. She’s pretty awesome.”
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Throws the most awesome parties in Equestria, and I should know!”
“Spike?”
“Well... I guess I don’t know him all that well, but from the times we have hung out, I’d say he was a pretty awesome little scaly guy.”
“Um... Queen Chrysalis?”
“Oh come on, Twilight, she’s not someone we even need to think about any more. Not since we smashed up her gang of changelings with our pure awesomeness!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, but decided to let it pass.
Author's Note
A very silly idea I had, but one which didn't seem to be going anywhere fast. This is as much as I wrote before putting it aside.
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Some Exotic Fever (short story; Comedy; Twilight)
Spike had been shooed out of Twilight's bedroom, much to his irritation. The doctor, a chocolate-brown unicorn stallion with round glasses and that all-too-predictable stethoscope cutie mark, returned his equipment and notes to his saddlebags in a ponderous way which Twilight found infuriating. Not that there was a great deal she could do about it without getting out of bed, something she'd been advised strongly against until the examination was over.
At last, the doctor raised his head and looked at Twilight over the top of his glasses, which were perched so precariously on the end of his muzzle that she was convinced they were only a twitch away from falling to the floor. Broken glass! Broken glass! On my floor! she squeaked inwardly, followed almost at once by a warning Calm down, Twilight! from a more rational part of her mind.
"—within a few days," finished the doctor, looking expectantly at Twilight. The alicorn blushed, coughed a little and put on a broad but entirely false smile.
"Heh... sorry, doc, I think I must have... that is... er, please, do go on!"
The stallion looked distinctly unconvinced, but merely rolled his eyes gently. Twilight blushed again as an unworthy thought flitted across her mind: perhaps it was useful sometimes to be a member of Equestrian royalty.
The doctor took a deep breath, perhaps a little deeper than was really necessary. "To emphasise my points, Your Highness : it does seem that your self-diagnosis was correct, which I suppose is not surprising given... well, I'll leave you a note about the medication I've prescribed. It should be familiar to you. Although yours is certainly an... unusual case, I feel that a standard course of treatment should produce significant benefits within a few days."
"So," said Twilight hesitantly, "can I get out of bed now?"
"Oh yes," replied the doctor. "However, in the light of your particular circumstances, I would strongly advise against any flying, at least until after I've seen you again on Thursday."
Twilight almost bounced out of bed, coming perilously close to knocking the doctor's saddlebags clean off his back. Instead, she thanked him effusively. And again. And again .
Then, as the stallion was turning to leave, she stopped abruptly.
"Doctor... how... how is this possible?"
"I don't quite get your meaning, Princess; could you perhaps elaborate?"
Twilight paused. She wasn't sure quite what she did mean. Still, no harm in asking... "Well, obviously I know about this disease, given that I've had it before. But I thought I'd be immune now. I didn't think it was possible for me to get it again. Wait – this is some sort of prank, isn’t it?"
The doctor frowned. "That's an odd choice of word, if you don't mind my saying so." (Twilight said nothing.) "This really isn't something you want to contract. It's a shame that it's become a bit of a joke among other ponies, since it can be quite unpleasant."
Twilight bit her lip and looked up, nervously. "Un-unpleasant?"
"Well, let's go back to basics here. You have, as I say, the condition that I expected to find. Or at least, a new version of it that isn't entirely confined to unicorns. I suppose I'll have to add a note in my... er... notes to mention that alicorns – and, presumably, pegasi – may be affected, too. I'm sorry, Princess, but every test we've done has come up positive. Apart from the one that might have defined what type of the thing you have, of course. I believe you may have a novel strain. That means—"
Twilight was becoming exasperated. "Yes! I mean no! I mean... I don't know what it means, doctor. And... I thought I knew everything about this disease already! I've read all the literature on the subject!"
"I bet you have," muttered the medic under his breath. But aloud, all he said was, "Ah, yes. Sometimes, that does rather lag behind the most recent discoveries out in the field. We are exploring the possibility of the virus having mutated recently. Which would explain why we've been calling it—"
"I know!" burst out Twilight, tears glistening in her wide-open eyes. "I know now ! Lavender Unicorn (Plus Uncertain) Syndrome. But... but..."
The doctor looked at her, his face at last almost kindly, and nodded sadly. "I'll admit that my first reaction was very similar to yours when my colleague first showed me her results. It did take quite some time for me to be convinced. For a long while, I thought she must be mistaken. As I said to her – it's never LU(PU)S."
Author's Note
Another story idea that didn't quite click. In particular, I couldn't find a way to stop the punchline feeling horribly clunky.
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Haven (100-word story featuring coloured text; Slice of Life; Rainbow Dash)
It’s not always fun being famous, you know.
Sure, I like ponies to admire me – what pegasus wouldn’t? But if it burns too brightly, a star becomes blinding to look at.
You want me to explain? Well... back in Cloudsdale, there’s this big lighthouse. Only inland lighthouse in Equestria. I worked there when I was just out of school. Didn’t stay long. Couldn’t...
It’s at the top of the Weather Factory – you know why it’s there? Simple: to make sure weak fliers stay safe around rainbows.
I learned something important the hard way up there: that lighthouse works both ways.
Author's Note
Runner-up in Weekly Contests Flash Fiction Contest #11 . The requirement was to write a story for the prompt "Lighthouse" in no more than 100 words, with using coloured text as an extra challenge. This fic is exactly 100 words, not including the title.
Here's a full explanation of what the colours mean:
This is Rainbow talking to Twilight. Exactly what happened is supposed to be left to interpretation, but the pinkish red could represent embarrassment, let's say. "Hard" is in red, not the pinkish-red of "Couldn't...", so it's a different thing. "Hard" is blood-coloured, so it could represent either an accident Rainbow caused through carelessness, or an occasion when she had a rush of blood and upset somepony. As for other things, "school" being in brown is obvious and represents Rainbow Dash's opinion of classes, while "Equestria" being in green is an even more obvious reference to it being a green and pleasant land.
The "burns too brightly" sequence is one I rather like. It's supposed to show that Rainbow became more and more and more obsessed with showing off, to the extent that she started really annoying people, just as light is good but a camera flash to the face isn't. The word "blinding" was made barely readable for that reason.
Other things: "pegasus" is in blue, a less brilliant shade than the cyan that represents Rainbow Dash herself, to show that Dash has always felt that she shines out even among her own kind. "Cloudsdale" is grey because my headcanon has it as a tough, industrial city. And "Weather Factory" is the same colour because it's the reason why Cloudsdale exists in the first place: the city is a company town, effectively.
The blue and yellow? Well, that's actually cyan, Rainbow's colour, while the yellow is that of a certain other pegasus. The point is that Dash discovered that while the literal lighthouse helped weak fliers (eg 'Shy) stay safe around literal rainbows (at the factory), Fluttershy herself -- said weak flier -- could also act as a figurative lighthouse who kept Rainbow Dash safe from overdoing it. Note that in the word "rainbows", I've included the six colours of the Equestrian rainbow and the middle two letters in cyan to represent this specific rainbow, Dash, to show its double meaning.
And the final two words? One goes one way, one the other, representing this... and it also looks like a hug between two ponies we know became best friends. :)
Stop the Journey? (poetry; Sad; CMC)
Yes, I remember, long ago,
Those days are gone, no more are we
Sometimes I dream about it still:
Time waits for nopony, of course,
Author's Note
Another contest entry, and another second-placed entry! This time, it was for Weekly Contests #13 . This required authors to write a poem with the prompt "numbers". If you want an explanation as to what is going on here, it's this: the longest-surviving of the CMC, lonely in solitary old age, takes comfort both in remembering her youth and, at the last, in looking forward to being reunited with her friends in the Great Beyond.
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The True Beginning of our End (breakup fic; Romance/Tragedy; Read and find out!)
“Shiny! Don't chuck me!”
Author's Note
Blame Present Perfect.
Seussless (flashfic; Comedy; Twilight)
I do not like the frozen days,
Okay, I know it all worked out;eally need a little moan.)
But something makes me more upsethad embracedI’m Purple Organiser Mare!
Author's Note
Set just after S1E11. Honourable mention in the March 2016 UK of Equestria flashfic contest, which had a 150-word limit and the prompt "Wrapping Up Winter".
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Talk Talk (flashfic; Comedy; Applejack/Rainbow Dash)
“Rainbow! Rainbow! ”
“Oh... hey there, AJ. What’s up?”
“Well, it ain’t you, lazybones! And what are you wearin’ those for?”
“What?”
“Don’t you give me that, Rainbow Dash. You’ve been nappin’ again, ain’t you?”
“Ooh, you’re jealous of my awesome cloud-busting shades. Yeah, I can see that.”
“Cloud-bustin’ shades? Like hay.”
“Chill out, AJ. Everypony likes to catch some rays sometimes. You do.”
“Not when there’s work to be done, missy. I got me some stubborn apples that still need a little April shower from that thing.”
“Heh, I always knew applebucking would scramble your brain. That thing, Applejack, is what we weather professionals call a cloud .”
“You want any cider this season?”
“Oh, all right .”
“Good. I’m glad you—”
“You can have this cloud. Just pull it over... a little jump here... and there .”
“Hey! Hey! I’m gettin’ soaked here!”
“April shower, AJ. You know – for stubborn Apples.”
Author's Note
My first dialogue-only story. I'm actually a little surprised I haven't tried this format before.
Honourable mention in the April 2016 UK of Equestria flashfic contest, which had a 150-word limit and the prompt "A warm spring day".
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The Founder of the Feast (flashfic; Slice of Life; Apple Family)
“Move your caboose, Big McIntosh!” called Granny Smith impatiently. “I’m famished!”
The stallion entered, pulling an enormous covered cart right up to the vast table. There was a mighty cheer from the dozens of family members present.
Applejack, on Granny’s right, winked. “From Sugar Cube Corner. One of Pinkie Pie’s extra-special specials.” She nodded at her brother.
“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, whipping off the cover. The Apples cheered again, even louder.
“Two cakes?” said Granny, eyeing her granddaughter suspiciously. “What are you up to, young ‘un?”
“One’s for my Granny,” said Applejack, “and the other’s for the founder of Ponyville!”
Author's Note
Written for the May 2016 UK of Equestria flashfic contest. This had a 100-word limit and the prompt "A Big Birthday Bash!". I had real trouble thinking of something to write this time round, and it showed a bit in the final submission. Still, I've written worse.
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Old Tricks (flashfic; Slice of Life; Trixie)
Her mother was powerful. Exactly how she had obtained her former role at court, she had never been willing to divulge to her daughter. Young as she was, Trixie had sensed an aching sadness behind all the prideful comments about having the Princess’s ear.
Her father was great. Ponies from across the northern lands flocked to his shows. He dominated the stage; he had the greatest trick of all: that of making every member of his audience feel they were the most important pony in the room.
Their filly grew up in a world of luxury, every whim indulged and every wish granted as the family travelled onward. When Trixie won her conjuring cutie mark with a spectacular smoke-bomb display, her cute-ceñeara was the talk of the nearby towns for months.
It was a strange, rootless, life, but Trixie was content – until Big Bucks arrived.
The oddly-coloured stallion had a powerful build, yet the power of his mind was stronger still. Suggesting a partnership, he overcame Jackpot’s initial uncertainty and the two quickly became fast friends. The bits rolled in and their fame grew still further in the north.
Her father spent ever more time rehearsing and performing with Big Bucks, while her mother used those mysterious contacts to ensure there was always Canterlot Castle representation at the shows – though Trixie never saw her actually speak to the Princess herself, only to her servants.
Though Trixie’s parents had increasingly little time to spend with their daughter, she did not feel neglected. She felt inspired. Illusion magic! The ability to make your audience believe you could bring them the Moon on a stick – and wasn’t her cutie mark a crossed wand and Moon?
Destiny would brook no delay. One dark night, Trixie stole an old wagon and stole away.
Author's Note
Written for Equestria Daily's 300-word challenge to come up with a backstory for Trixie and her (apparent) dad, Jackpot. Since responses were requested via the post's comments thread and I had very little time to spare, I hammered out something in just a few minutes -- and here it is. Apart from one minor formatting change (italics rather than *asterisks*), it has deliberately not been edited, since I wanted to include the piece exactly as it appears in the EqD comments.
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Rock On (FFF contest entry; Random; Mudbriar/Maud)
“Technically, I will always be a stick pony, regardless of my physical form at any one moment.” Mudbriar looked over at his marefriend and smiled. “But I guess I would be willing to try this Metamorphic Experience, if it would make you happy.”
“I’m ecstatic.”
The two of them walked slowly to the Rockumentation Room entrance. As Maud hauled open the heavy door, Mudbriar felt a wave of intense heat roll over him. He blinked.
“Isn’t Edith handling all this?”
Maud didn’t even look round. “She's at the Cockatrice Congregation. And as much as I loved you as a hunk of granite, we did talk about taking our relationship to the next level.” She pointed at the dim shape of machinery beyond the portal. “It took me a while to get the temperature and pressure high enough.”
Mudbriar squeaked. “High enough for what?! You didn’t say anything about this earlier!”
“It’s quite easy,” said Maud, seemingly ignoring him. “It will strengthen our relationship.”
“But what about you? Aren’t you going to join me in there?”
Maud shook her head, half an inch or so each way. Mudbriar was startled at her vehemence.
“No.”
“Why not? A rock pony such as you should be able to withstand higher temperature and pressure than a stick pony such as myself. We could be metamorphic together. I love you, Maud. I’ll always be here for you. Will you be here for me?”
“I need to operate the controls.”
Mudbriar scowled, then stamped a hoof.
“No. I'm sorry, Maud, but no. Technically, this is goodbye.”
Maud blinked twice. “Why?”
Mudbriar could hardly bear seeing Maud so miserable, but he hardened his heart; a line had been crossed. Things would never again be the same between them. As he walked out of Maud’s cavern and out of her life, he turned his head and called back to the desolate mare.
“If you won’t be gneiss, at least don’t make me feel like schist.”
Author's Note
An entry for Super Trampoline's FimFiction Feghoot Festival .
Yes Twi checked her latest letter,
Author's Note
Yes, this story is called Chapter 1 . It was a non-eligible entry (because I was the judge!) in the January 2022 Flashfic 150 contest. The prompt was "Break the Rules!"
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Friendly Ponyville Fluttershy (song parody; Random; Fluttershy)
Fluttershy, Fluttershy,
Is she strong?
In the chill of the night,
Fluttershy, Fluttershy,
To her, life is a little scary,
Author's Note
The very first piece of pony fanfic I ever wrote, before I'd even finished watching S1. It should be sung to the tune of the 1960s Spider-man cartoon .
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Out of Darkness Cometh Light (poetry; Adventure; Mane Six)
Once there was no sunlight,
Blackness in the woodland,
Ponies heard the death-knell;
All as one, they ventured
As they journeyed onward,
These were bound together
Closeness like no other,
Serpents were befriended,
Inside lurked the Nightmare
Heart-lit Elements burned:
Author's Note
This poem placed second in the the Weekly Contests group's contest #16 , which had the prompt "Spark". I chose to do the extra-credit thing and write a poem about the S1 premiere.
"Out of Darkness Cometh Light" is the civic motto of Wolverhampton, the city of my birth.
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Just Visiting (flashfic; Slice of Life/Dark; Twilight/Chrysalis)
The cell door opened, its hinges gleaming dully in the grey evening light.
“You again?” complained Chrysalis.
“Me again,” said Twilight.
Chrysalis continued to mutter and grumble, but Twilight paid her no heed. She levitated the scroll through the forcefield and laid it down in front of the changeling queen.
Chrysalis looked up, scowling. “What’s this?”
“You know what it is.”
Twilight turned away and walked out of the bare cell, leaving Chrysalis alone with the rolled parchment. She eyed it warily for a while, as though it might leap up and strike her, then grabbed it and ripped it open, breaking the Solar Seal into two jagged halves. Her wings buzzed pointlessly as she read.
I grant your request. Tomorrow, you shall have the messenger you desire: the pony who thinks best of you.
Chrysalis allowed herself a twisted half-smile, then flung the scroll into a dark corner and waited for sleep to come.
* * *
The cell door opened, its hinges gleaming dully in the grey evening light.
“You again?” complained Chrysalis.
“Me again,” said Twilight.
Author's Note
Placed second (out of ten) in Weekly Contests #25 , which had the prompt "Round and Round" and a 200-word limit.
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The Villain Contest (UK PonyCon 2016 con book poem; Comedy/Slice of Life; multi-gen)
From far and wide the ponies came,
It was the eve of Nightmare Moon,
Out of the murk loomed Chrysalis,
Judge Megan and Judge Twilight then
A deathly hush fell on the place
But when the villains' time was up,
So why was it both judges boregood !"
Author's Note
This was printed in the con book for UK PonyCon 2016. Pressure of space meant it couldn't be any longer, but given that restriction I'm quite amused with it. A little knowledge of G1 and G3 will help.
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Reshelving (flashfic; Slice of Life; Applejack/Twilight)
“Somethin’ wrong, Twi?”
“Tell me something, Applejack. You’ve known me since I arrived in Ponyville. Have I changed?”
Applejack grimaced, rubbed the back of her neck and looked away.
“I want you to be honest.”
Looking back, Applejack raised an eyebrow and grinned crookedly. “Do you now?”
“Yes.” Twilight picked up a book, glancing at its cover. She took a gulp of air. “Please don’t make me wait.”
“Well then,” said Applejack, “I reckon you have changed some. You could be a mite tetchy back in the day.”
“Tetchy?!”
Applejack chuckled. “Maybe not the best word. But you’d have some mighty sharp comebacks sometimes. Took us a while to get used to that. All gone now, though.”
She smiled. Twilight did not.
“That’s a compliment, sugarcube. You’ve learned so much more about everything since.”
Twilight shelved the book. In a small voice, she said, “I know.”
Applejack hugged her close.
Author's Note
My non-competitive entry (because I was the judge!) for the March 2018 edition of Flashfic 150 , which had the prompt "What You Leave Behind". Feedback suggested it was too obscure in conveying its message, that Twilight misses the simpler life she had in her pre-royalty days, but despite that I've left the piece exactly as it was for inclusion here.
