It was a normal morning routine for Ditzy Doo, if normal was a word for her to use. As she blinked her drifting eyes, she found herself wondering which direction she should go in. While her right eye was telling her to go up, her left was telling her to go down, a normal conflict for her on a daily basis.
'I'm gonna go with the left!' Ditzy thought as smiled blithely before descending downwards. Of course, it was as she blinked her eyes again she saw that her left eye hadn't been trustworthy to begin with. But, that knowledge did little to help her stop her already clamped wings, which she already had trouble controlling as is.
So, much to her disdain, she crashed into the ground and slid hard into the ground. She only came to a stop as she slammed into a mailbox, which was probably the most ironic thing to come to pass during her first few deliveries. She shook her head rapidly as she righted herself and tried to keep her clumsy hooves from tripping over each other.
"Sheesh, fly much, Derpy?" said Flitter as she flew overhead, "How'd you even get out of flying school?"
Ditzy flinched at the nickname she received as a filly, but she didn't let her discomfort show. "With a scholarship, unlike you..." Of course, she made sure Flitter didn't hear her. She didn't like confronting ponies, especially those she saw on a daily basis.
Flitter zoomed off, leaving Ditzy down on the ground to herself. Thankfully, not a lot of ponies were out so early in the morning, so nopony really saw Ditzy's falling incident. Of course, it wasn't always like that.
With a ginger flap of her wings, Ditzy managed to get off the ground and she held onto her mailbag as she made sure her wings weren't hurt. Once she saw they were fine, she let out a small sigh of relief and reached into the bag to see if the mailbox in front of her had any mail.
"Ooo, it's coupons!" Ditzy commented, "Good for them!"
As she put the mail into the mailbox, she completely ignored the fact that she previously crashed into it, leaving it in a less than fine condition. In fact, as she opened the door, the door fell off the hinges and clattered to the ground, but Ditzy didn't notice as she put the mail in.
With her toothy smile, she flew off into the air, blissfully unaware of the fact that there was a hole in her mailbag.
* * *
Rainbow Dash groaned as she did another round around her cloud home(lovingly referred to as the Cloudominium by none other than herself). Her eyes drifted to the mailbox that waited at the edge of the clouds, then immediately narrowed peevishly as she saw that nopony had come close to approaching it.
She groaned again. "Where is Derpy? She was supposed to be here earlier!"
"I'm right here!" said a perky voice.
Rainbow leaped back with a yell as she turned to see Ditzy standing next to her on the cloud. She sighed as she looked at the wall-eyed mare. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"
Ditzy blinked innocently. "I'm here earlier than usual, Dash! We didn't have as much mail today, so I got to come here quickly!"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Then why is it 8 in the morning?" She held up a foreleg, revealing a watch that broadcasted the time.
Ditzy looked at the watch for a moment before saying, "That watch isn't working."
Rainbow blinked, then looked at the watch, which clarified Ditzy's claim. She frowned. "How the heck can you tell?"
Ditzy frowned back. "Just 'cause my eyes see things differently doesn't mean I can't see when something isn't moving. And you didn't notice until I told you, so don't be so mean."
Rainbow sighed. "Sorry. So, do you have any mail for me?"
Ditzy brightened instantly. "Yep!" She rummaged through her bag. "I heard that you pre-ordered your Daring Do book! You must be excited for the next book!" She stopped rummaging. "Huh? Where's the package?"
Rainbow's eyes widened. "Don't tell me you lost my mail!"
Ditzy frowned. "I never lose mail! At least, not two days in a row..." She returned to rummaging. "Oh, I found a letter for you!"
"Gimme!" Rainbow huffed as she snatched the envelope from Ditzy as soon as it was available, "Yeesh, you take forever!"
"No, I don't!" Ditzy protested, "Then you'd never get your letter!"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She opened the envelope and her eyes scanned over it quickly before they widened. "Horse apples!"
Ditzy blinked. "What is it?"
Rainbow tossed the letter and slid onto her knees. "Nooooooooooooooo!"
Ditzy flinched. "What is it? Is it bad news?"
"Yesssssssssss!" Rainbow cried.
"Is it a sick relative?" Ditzy guessed.
"Worse! Way worse!" Rainbow exclaimed as she clutched her head.
Ditzy's eyes widened. "What, then?"
Rainbow looked up at Ditzy with wide, sad eyes. "The release date... It's been pushed back!"
Ditzy gasped and she joined Rainbow on the cloud as she dropped her bag. "Nooooooooooooo!"
* * *
Meanwhile, in the residence of Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn princess was in the midst of reading a letter that she received when she heard the chorus of screams come from outside. She sighed to herself and shook her head as she folded the letter neatly and put it back in it's envelope.
"Looks like Rainbow just got the news," she commented as she picked up a Daring Do book, "looks like it's back to rereading the series." She sighed dreamily. "Again."
* * *
Rainbow and Ditzy continued their screaming for another moment, but the latter of the two stopped suddenly as she looked on confusedly. "Why are we screaming?"
Rainbow ceased her screaming as she grabbed Ditzy by the shoulders. "Because I have to wait for a long time! And I've already waited a long time!" She collapsed back onto the cloud. "I can't wait for a long time again!"
Ditzy arched a brow. "But, you're still waiting to become a Wonderbolt and that's been an even longer time, so why is this such a big deal?"
Rainbow went silent and she stared at Ditzy with a shocked expression. Finally, she broke her expression with a frown. "Don't talk to me."
Ditzy smiled. "Don't worry, Dashie! I know what'll make you feel better!" She stood up from the cloud. "I know just how to figure out when Daring's book comes out and you don't have to worry at a--" She paused as she saw that Rainbow Dash was no longer there, and that the only thing to indicate that she was was her trademark rainbow streak.
Ditzy sighed. "Or totally ignore what I have to say. Yeah, that'll work." She sighed. "And Mom said that ponies would take me seriously once I got my degrees..."
* * *
Rainbow Dash flapped her wings hard as she zoomed over the forested area beneath her. Ponyville was long since gone from her sight and destination, yet time didn't seem to pass at all to her.
"Daring better have a good reason for pushing back her release date!" Rainbow commented, "I get that she has to go on adventures to have something to write about, but she could at least hurry it up!"
Granted, Rainbow had considered the possibility of Daring being incapacitated and unable to write in the literal sense. But if that were so, then she wouldn't have received a letter telling her about the date being pushed later on, but instead a letter about the series going on hiatus until further notice. She wasn't stupid.
'So if it's just writer's block, then maybe I can help her with it!' Rainbow thought to herself, 'I mean, how hard can it be?'
Finally, after another good while of flying, Rainbow spotted the familiar, isolated home that her favorite writer lived in. With a grin, she descended down to the ground quickly and landed fiercely as she struck what she knew to be an "awesome pose". Of course, when she saw that nopony was around to see it, she sighed to herself.
"So much for tact and grace..." she muttered as she trotted to the cottage. When she was in front of the door, her hoof rapped against the door repeatedly. "Hello? Daring, you home?" When there was no answer, she knocked again. "Daring? Dude, you OK?"
This time, there was a shuffle behind the door. Finally, a voice called out, "I'll be there in a sec!"
Rainbow arched a brow and she knocked again. "Daring--"
"I"ll said it'll be a minute!" shouted the voice.
Rainbow flinched, but she remained where she was and kept her hoof down. Finally, the door opened, revealing none other than Daring Do herself. Rainbow brightened at the sight of her. "Daring, it's awesome to see you!" She paused. "Dude, where's your stuff?"
For some strange reason, Daring wasn't wearing her adventure gear or anything of that nature. She was completely bare, making her seem extremely strange to Rainbow and almost unrecognizable. Her gold coat was scruffy and her grayscale mane was messy and ruffled, almost as if she had just woken up.
Daring shifted nervously. "Can't a mare dress how she wants in the privacy of her own home?"
Rainbow blinked. "Uh, I guess?" She furrowed her brows as she recalled her reason for being there. "Dude, what gives? You pushed back the release date on your book again?"
Daring's eyes widened. "Yeesh, you got here fast. I was thinking you were going to show up at one point, but not on the day the news was out." She narrowed her eyes. "Is that all you came here for?"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Duh! I thought that maybe there had to be a reason that you weren't writing! And since you aren't out adventuring, then why aren't you?"
Daring went silent and she seemed actually shocked by Rainbow's question. Finally, she put on her hard look that Rainbow only had the grace of seeing because she knew that Daring was an actual pony and not fictional.
Daring cleared her throat. "For your information, I have been writing. I've just had trouble with... the content."
Rainbow arched a brow. "What content?" She gasped. "Are you writing smut?"
Daring went bright red. "What? No, Celestia, no!" She sighed. "It's complicated, alright? See, there's something that happened and I don't know how the fanbase is going to react, OK?"
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. "What kind of thing?"
Before Daring had a chance to answer, a voice shouted out from the cottage. "Daring, do you know where the tuna is? I'm starving, and I haven't eaten anything this morning."
Daring frowned. "Celestia-dammit."
Rainbow's eyes widened. "Wait... Daring, do you have a..." Her voice became quiet. "...love interest?"
Daring sighed. "Yes."
Rainbow gasped. "Oh sweet Celestia!" She put her hooves to her face in anxiety as she grinned dorkishly. "Whoisitwhoisitwhoisitwhoisitwhoisit--"
Daring shoved a hoof into Rainbow's mouth. "I can't say out here! Somepony might hear!" She put her hoof down as she added quietly, "Or see..."
"Dare?" called the voice again.
Rainbow narrowed her eyes in scrutiny. "Wait a second.. I've heard that voice before..."
Daring sighed. "I was afraid of that.." She held open the door and moved so that Rainbow could enter. "Come on in. You're gonna wanna sit down, though."
Rainbow arched a brow as she passed Daring. "Why? It can't be so shocking that--" She froze and let out a loud, exaggerated gasp as her eyes widened to the size of saucers.
Daring arched a brow. "Now do you see why?"
Rainbow didn't seem to hear her. "Chair! Chair! Chair!" Her breaths became quick and heavy. "I need a chair!"
Daring sighed. "Ahuizotl, hon, can you get Rainbow a chair to sit in?"
"Yes, dear," Ahuizotl replied. He extended his tail and used his four fingered hand to pick up a wooden chair next to Daring's desk, then put it behind Rainbow. "Have a seat, please."
Rainbow wasted no time collapsing into the chair and her breaths didn't slow down in the slightest as she did. She put a hoof over her fast-beating heart. "I think I'm gonna have a heart attack!"
"See, now you're just being dramatic," Daring said with a deadpan expression, "hon, do you know where the paper bags are?"
"Already on it, dearest," Ahuizotl said as he brought a paper bag to Rainbow with his tail, "I can understand that this would be shocking."
Rainbow put the bag to her face and took a big puff. "Are you being--" Inhale. "--serious? This is--" Inhale. "--insane! Daring, why--" Inhale. "--in your right mind--" Inhale.
"Don't hurt yourself," Daring told her, "get your breathing under control and I'll explain."
"Here, I know something that might help calm you down," Ahuizotl said. He put the end of his tail to his mouth and let out a whistle, which resonated briefly. Almost immediately, several domestic cats appeared and surrounded the strange creature, each mewing and crying out for attention.
"Aw, the kittens are out walking!" Daring cooed, "You did a good job with birthing them!"
Just as Rainbow put the bag down, she put it back and took several more puffs. "Gah!"
Ahuizotl frowned. "I didn't actually give birth to them. I served as a midwife for their mother, a gorgeous Bengal cat named Elegant, thank you very much."
Daring rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him. He takes great pride in his cats."
"Our cats," Ahuizotl corrected.
"Right, sorry, still getting used to that," Daring said.
Rainbow finally put the bag down and took in a deep gulp of fresh air. "You two are a thing?! And have cats together?!"
Ahuizotl's expression turned into confusion, to which Daring sighed. "She's asking if we're a couple."
"Oh," Ahuizotl said, "sorry, I'm not used to modern slang as of yet."
Daring smiled. "It's fine, hon." She returned her attention to Rainbow. "Yes, Dash, Ahuizotl and I are together. I understand that it may be hard to take in and all, what with us having been mortal enemies for a majority of my career."
Ahuizotl put a paw on Daring's shoulder. "But, of course, all good things come to an end. And better things come along right when they do."
Rainbow made a sour face. "Gross."
Daring sighed. "Listen, Dash, it wasn't like we saw this coming." She smiled nostalgically. "But, when we both got stuck in that stupid fortress all those months ago and had to spend all that time together..."
"That's when we realized just how ridiculous this feud we had really was," Ahuizotl finished, "and that my plans for world domination were ridiculous, at best."
Rainbow blinked. "So, wait, you're not a villain anymore?"
Ahuizotl shook his head. "I've actually been helping Daring with her quests, and the past couple of months have been hectic, to say the least. Daring's got several transcripts for her books ready to be edited and looked over, along with a couple ready to be published."
Daring frowned. "But, like I said earlier, I'm not sure how the fanbase is going to react to me and Ahuizotl being together." She sighed. "I mean, just look at how you reacted! And believe me when I say, there are crazier fans out than you, Dash!"
Rainbow held up her hooves. "Sorry! I didn't mean to act so jerky! I was just... shocked, I guess." She sighed. "That, and I''m not good at handling romantic subplots in stories. I mean, that's why I liked your books so much!"
Daring looked down at her hooves. "I see..."
"But, I also don't want the series to stop," Rainbow said, "I understand that not everything is going to stay the same, no matter how hard I try." She sighed. "So, I guess I can live with you and Ahuizotl being in a relationship if it means you're happy."
Daring blinked in shock. "Really?"
Rainbow nodded. "It's gonna take a while, but I'll get over it. Heck, I might even start to love it!" She smiled sheepishly. "Just make me one promise..."
"Uh, sure, what?" Daring asked.
Rainbow's smile faded. "Keep out the mushy stuff. I seriously don't wanna know just how your mane got so messed up, OK?"
Daring's face became a dark shade of red, as did Ahuizotl's. "Gotcha," Daring replied, her blush not letting up, "no smut?"
"No smut," Rainbow repeated, "make it a separate series, but don't put it in the ones now. Kids read it, for Celestia's sakes!"
Daring nodded. "OK, fine." She turned to Ahuizotl. "Come on, we got some editing to do."
"Ugh, gross!" Rainbow called out as she trotted to the door, "I'll see ya later, Daring! Just... ugh!"
Daring laughed to herself as Rainbow flew off. "Yeesh, I was expecting her to be super freaked! Well, I guess it didn't go as bad as I thought it would..."
Ahuizotl gave her an uncomfortable look. "You didn't really write about our.. intimacy, did you?"
Daring frowned. "Half-asleep Daring is a totally different pony from fully-awake Daring, hon. I can't help what she writes in those sleepy stupors."
Ahuizotl chuckled. "I suppose not. Say, didn't you tell me your sister was coming to visit later on?"
Daring nodded. "Yeah, but she told me she had to go through her morning rounds before she got here." She rolled her eyes. "I don't see why she took that job as a mailmare. I mean, she gets paid a ton more for being my editor!"
Ahuizotl pulled her into an embrace. "Perhaps it makes her happy." He leaned his head against hers. "And there's nothing wrong with that, Dare."
"No, there isn't, hon," Daring said as she leaned into his embrace, "No, there isn't."
Author's Note
Yep, this happened. Also, I totally support the idea of Derpy and Daring being related. Seriously, has that been done? And I'm contemplating on writing about how Daring and Ahuizotl got together. Do ya think I should? Meh, Imma do it anyway.
