The Conductor

by Tailgate

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 6918

The Conductor, a independently-wealthy business man, travels to Equestria to bring upon a new era of trains. His motives are unclear, but the fact still remains. He’s a danger to every building and resident of Ponyville.

A sinister man who calls himself, “The Conductor,” expands his train empire to Equestria. Namely, Ponyville. It's unknown as to how he arrived or where he got his doctorate in developing transportation systems, but it’s evident that Twilight must defeat him.

But one thing’s clear, this might be Ponyville’s last stop.

Written by Mothey and I. So be sure to go check him out!

Inspiration.

Group for The Conductor-verse.

Published 2014-08-02 21:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-26 18:04:19 UTC

Chapter 1 - The Conductor

        It was a quiet day in Ponyville. The roads held few ponies as the sun rose just above the horizon. In one section of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle and Spike strode through the market, looking for early-bird deals.

        They spotted Applejack setting up her stand and made their way over to her. Applejack turned around as she heard their approach.

        “Well, howdy there, partners! What can I do you for?”

        Spike eyed the food goods hungrily whilst Twilight scanned Applejack’s stock and stated, “I guess just the usual, one apple pie and an apple tart.”

        “Alrighty then! That’ll b- Twilight-” Applejack raised a hoof, pointing behind Twilight, “-what in the hay is that?”

        A loud crack and followed by a boom resonated through the marketplace. The market was lit up in a brilliant light and the ground trembled.

        Twilight and Spike both turned their heads only to see another flash and a bright circular light about the size of an orange appear in the distance. The three of them shielded their eyes against the luminous light. Twilight squinted under her hoof towards the light. She took a few steps forward to get a better look.

        Above the light, a shadowy bipedal figure shook and bounced as it curved it’s body backwards. Twilight stopped and squinted her eyes to block the enlarging light.

        “What is that…?”

        Applejack spoke up from behind her stand, “I don’t know, but- It’s coming right at us!”

        She jumped out from behind her stand and to a visibly safe piece of the marketplace. Spike grabbed Twilight by the end of her tail and tried dragging her away from the approaching blinding light.

        “Twilight! We have to get out of the way!”

        Twilight sat still, staring at the blinding light.

        Spike fruitlessly attempted to drag Twilight away. A loud, shrill sound filled the air, Choo choo!

        A stallion tackled Twilight out of the way and Spike followed behind, still holding on to her tail. Twilight and the stallion hit the ground with a soft thud and rolled over onto their backs.

The glint of sunlight reflecting off the object revealed it to be metallic. A loud cackle accompanied the blasting sound of whistles.

        Twilight’s eyes widened in terror upon realization of what it was, “It’s a train!”

        “All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!”

Chugga chugga chugga chugga, choo choo.

        Rail tracks magically appeared on the ground in front of the train.

        The train tore through Applejack’s stand and plowed through the buildings behind, decimating everything in its path. As the train destroyed its first home, the figure standing on top had leapt off the side and landed next to speeding contraption.

        The shadows subsided to reveal a man. The man in question donned a marvelous matching black suit and overshirt, underneath of which was a white undershirt and silky black tie. Above everything else he was clad in a smooth, black duster. He wore leather gloves and on top of his head laid a conductor's hat with a small label on front, “A-train8.” To top off his appearance, the man stood with a golden cane held by his left hand.

        Twilight pulled herself off the ground and senselessly ran up to the man. Her horn illuminated with a purple glow as she confronted him.

        Twilight scrunched up her nuzzle and scolded him, “Who are you!? And what do you think you’re doing?!”

        She chose a defensive stance with her front half bent down with a snarl on her face, which evidently left her hackles raised and her tail bristling, like a cat.

Click. Click. Click. His cane tapped on the stone road as he strolled to a position in front of Twilight.

        He placed his weight on his cane as he bent down and spoke with a lunatic’s smile on his face, “I’m The Conductor. Where is your tallest building?”

        He held his free hand up to his forehead and parallel to the ground. He eagerly looked at the town around him, searching for the tallest building. Beneath his hat, his black hair stuck out, having no rhyme or reason. His eyes were wide open, showing off his lack of irises.

        Twilight wavered slightly at the close-up of his face, but pressed on. “You can’t just destroy houses! You’re going to fix this!”

        The Conductor stood fully erect once more and scanned his surroundings. He spotted a giant crystal tree and pointed to it with a gloved hand. “There!”

        His cane clicked against the ground as he left Twilight both infuriated and speechless. He strode up to the train tracks and stuck out his arm. The ponies turned back to where the original train had appeared as the sounds of a horn neared them once again. A second, identical train to the first, whooshed by.

        The conductor grabbed on to a bar protruding from the side of the train and pulled himself up. Placing a foot on the side of the train, he held his cane up as the train sped past the ponies. The train derailed itself from its predecessor’s tracks and new tracks emerged to create a direct route to the tree that The Conductor had spotted. This in turn caused ponies to jump out their windows and scramble to get away as the train plowed through their houses.

        Two more trains emerged, the former followed the original in it’s track of destruction whilst the latter stopped in the middle of the market. The doors to the passenger carts opened, revealing a bunch of sad Chinese men as they left the train with their heads down and shoulders slumped.

The first one to exit held a clipboard and wore a yellow construction helmet. Twilight angrily stomped over to him.

“What’s the meaning of this!?”

The man looked up from his blank clipboard and sighed, “I… I don’t even know.”

Twilight’s right eye twitched and she stomped back over to Applejack and Spike. Applejack took off her stetson and held it over her chest.

“What are we going to do, Twilight? I don’t think we can stop him.”

Spike simply stared in awe at the smoldering wreckage that was The Conductor’s first victim; Carrot Top’s home.

        Twilight snarled, “We will stop him! We will not stand for his destructive behavior! Follow me!”

        Twilight started trotting away and Applejack followed behind, but had to turn back and get Spike’s attention. She shook him out of his stupor and the two of them trailed behind Twilight.

        The three of them reached Twilight’s castle, however, they were not alone as the majority of the town joined in along the way. Twilight led the front-line up to the front of her house where The Conductor stood on the balcony.

        He stood with his arms crossed, his cane still held in his left hand. Ponies yelled and screamed from below him. They insulted, questioned, and complained.

        “Who’s going to fix my house!?”

        “Why are you doing this?”

        “I hate you!”

        “What are you?”

        “Celestia will banish you to the moon!”

        The Conductor held up his right hand and silenced the crowd.

        He smiled eerily and stated, “No gods. No kings. Only trains!”

        Twilight’s face was laced with confusion and anger as she asked him, “Why?”

        In response, he spread his arms out into the air above him and declared, “Trains! Trains everywhere! A utopia of trains!”

        A pegasus stallion, Thunderlane, angrily waved his hoof at The Conductor.

        “We don’t want your trains you madman!

        “Shut up, you!-” he rubbed his chin in thought for a moment, “-How about this? To make this fair, I’m now selling stock in my company. That way if you have the majority, you can decide whether or not your measly houses will be destroyed.”

        A chorus of cheers spread through the crowded clearing. That was until Thunderlane spoke up again, “Wait- so we are paying you to not destroy our homes?”

        The Conductor smiled, “Yes!”

        The crowd was upset once more with the coming of this new realization.

        “That’s not right!”

        “You’re a terrible pony!”

        “Go buck yourself!”

        The sound of glass breaking resounded through the town as The Conductor brought his golden cane down on the crystal railing.

        “Sold! To the man with the trains!”

        Looks of blatant confusion was evident on the crowd’s faces as he proceeded to explain.

        “I have bought all of the stocks! Prepare for trains!”

        A voice spoke above the rest, “That’s not fair! We had no time!”

A small hole appeared in the crowd as they parted to let Mayor Mare confront this menace.

        “You cannot do this to us!”

        She turned around and gazed upon the crowd, “Let’s stop him!”

        The Conductor reached beneath his overcoat and pulled out a train whistle. He brought it up to his lips and blew into it. A high-pitched tone played as the crowd stared at him silently.

        The Conductor stopped blowing into it and put it back in his coat. Ponies started looking at each other, asking silent questions they knew they could not answer, but asked anyways.

        Twilight looked up at him, “Wha-”

        “This is your last stop!”

Choo choo!

        A shrill scream pierced the air as a bullet train fell from the sky and smashed itself into the ground where the used-to-be-mayor Mare was standing. The train stood vertically straight, with the nose embedded into the ground, like a tower.

        The crowd gasped and screamed as they attempted to scramble away.

        The Conductor had a smile on his face as he took a step away from the railing.

        Twilight snapped herself out of her shock from watching the incident and yelled to the crowd, “Stay calm everypony! Follow me!”

        Thunderlane and Blossomforth jumped off the ground and took off towards Canterlot.

Blossomforth screamed, “Buck that! We’re out of here!”

        Thunderlane stopped and turned to Twilight, “Ye-”

        He was cut off suddenly by a flying freight train that struck both him and Blossomforth from the air at seemingly lightspeed. He released a blood-curdling scream right before the two of them became nothing more than a fine mist in the air.

        Ponies cowered at the train that soared over them. Twilight’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened to plates, “Nopony fly!”

        Twilight ran through the crowd and once again led them as they ran through Ponyville, desperate for safety. But even after they left earshot of the madman, Twilight could still hear his maniacal laughing in her mind, taunting her.

        They reached the town hall and the crowd streamed inside. The inside of the building was a large auditorium in which the town meetings were usually held. Twilight and Applejack made their way towards the back of the auditorium and up to the stage.

        On the way, they passed a stallion holding himself in the fetal position on the floor.

        “We’re so bucked… We’re soooo bucked…” he whispered to himself.

        He then burst into tears and continued repeating it to

himself whilst tears streamed down his face. Twilight grimaced at the sight and continued forward. She and Applejack climbed up the small set of steps to the stage when they were passed by a mare pacing back and forth mumbling nonsense to herself.

        Applejack stopped and turned to Twilight. “Twilight, do you thin-”

        “Oh no! Where’s Spike!?”

        Twilight searched frantically around her. She scanned the Ponyville crowd and sighed in relief when she saw the familiar color of his scales and spikes over by the school kids.

        She turned back to Applejack, who had a disappointed frown on her face. Twilight smiled weakly, “Sorry.”

        Applejack cleared her throat, “Okay. As I was saying, I hope everypony else is fine. The other girls I mean. I hope Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy didn’t try to fly away. I’m not sure if those trains will hit us every time we try to fly, but we might as well be safe and not try.”

        Twilight nodded in agreement. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Look out here, guys!” Lyra called from a nearby window. Twilight, Applejack, and a few of the more curious ponies trotted over to the window and peered outside. In the middle of the road was a single piece of track. On top of the track was a single train, slowly moving back and forth. Seemingly going nowhere.

Their heads turned left and right as they stared at the ever-moving train.

Lyra spoke up and interrupted their thoughts, “I turned around for one second and boom! It just appeared out there! It’s like it materialized out of thin air!”

Applejack turned to Twilight, “Twilight, you have to write a letter to the princess!”

Twilight nodded and stepped away from the window and searched for Spike in the crowd.

“Spike! Take a letter!”

        The Conductor was sitting in a black leather chair staring at the wall. He held his arms out in front of him, the tips of each finger touched with their partner on the other hand. His hands formed a pyramid as he contemplated the wall.

        Footsteps echoed through the room, originating from the entrance. He spun his chair around and faced his visitor.

        A lanky Chinese man stood at the door. The man took a few more steps and stated, “Sir, we’re out of tracks.”

        The Conductor waved a dismissive hand, “Use different types!”

        The man hesitated, unsure of what to say. He finally decided to speak after a long moment of contemplation, “Sir, we can’t do that. I-It doesn’t work that way, sir.”

        The Conductor shot up from his chair and stared down the man, “You dare tell me what I can and can’t do? Be gone with you!”

        He smacked the man in the face with the butt of his cane. “Be gone!” he yelled once again.

        The man stumbled backwards whilst holding his nose and he left the room as quickly as he could. In his absence, another Chinese man with a yellow hard hat on took his place.

“Sir… we’re bankrupted.”

A smile edged its way onto The Conductor’s face before he stood up and gave the man a hug.

“Gooooood.”

The man was visibly confused, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did you send all the money you used to buy your own stocks to Russia?”

“Exactly!” The Conductor said as he released the man from his grip. He turned to the balcony door and walked out. Smoke and flames poured out from destroyed buildings. Most of which collapsed after a train had plowed through them. The entirety of Ponyville was a train yard.

        Some trains were still as they did not have any tracks to move on. Others moved back and forth over what little track they had. Occasionally, an explosion would erupt from a random building as a train would smash through it, destroying the foundation.

        He raised his arms into the air and cried out, “It’s beautiful! An army of trains!”

        The man still standing in the room behind him spoke up, “Sir… please; It’s not an army if the trains can’t mov-”

        “Shutup, you!”

        The Conductor strengthened his grip on his cane and put his other hand on the balcony rail. He placed the hand holding the cane on top of the rail and pulled himself onto it. He climbed up with ease and was standing on top of the crystal railing.

        “Sir, what are you doing?” The man behind him asked as he pondered pushing him off.

        He started to creep forward at the assurance coming from his thoughts, ready to push The Conductor.

        He was almost to The Conductor when in a sudden turn of events, The Conductor bent his knees and leapt off of the railing. The man ran up to the railing and peered over the edge.

        The Conductor’s falling body slammed into the back of the bullet train below. His weight unbalanced the tower, which caused the tower to lean. He slid off the top and face planted into the ground. His fall was followed by the tower giving in to gravity. It promptly fell over and landed on top of him.

        The Chinese man with the hard hat turned around and screamed into the castle, “He’s dead! We’re free!”

        A worker’s head popped into view. “What he say?” he asked another worker.

“We’re free! He’s dead!” the Chinese man yelled again.

“We’re free?”

“Yes, we’re all free from the madman!” He plucked off his hardhat and threw it into the air in celebration.

 A chorus of cheers erupted inside which was then followed by the workers running out to the balcony. They all hugged each other whilst chanting, “We’re free! We’re free!”

        The man that had thrown his hard hat turned back around to observe of the machinations of the very trains that his forced-employer worked with. He peered over the edge expecting to see where The Conductor was squished.

        His smile vanished when he spotted The Conductor nonchalantly brush off his overcoat and stroll into the town.

        He bent down and picked his hard hat back up, “Well… shit.”

        Another worker saw The Conductor walking away, and he too fell deathly silent. Soon, the whole balcony was absent of any celebratory noise.

A worker spoke up, “You lied to me.”

Click. Click. Click.

        The Conductor’s cane rapped against the cobblestone road and he whistled a merry tune as he strolled over to the town hall.

“Choo choo choo,” he whistled.

        Before he approached the front door, he looked to his side and admired his fine work. One of his many trains sat still on its only piece of rail. A beautiful sight, frozen in time.

        A smile crossed his face as he knocked on the door. Murmurings could be heard from the other side. The voices fell silent as the sound of hooves hitting the ground grew louder.

        The door cracked open and Twilight poked her head out. She gasped at the sight of The Conductor and tried to silently close it shut, hoping he didn’t see her.

        “Twilight?” Applejack moved closer from behind her. “Who is it?”

“Shhh,” she whispered.

A loud crack resounded through the auditorium as a fist-sized section of the door splintered. Screams echoed as the ponies spotted a gloved-fist protruding from the door.

The Conductor’s fist unfurled and he stuck the rest of his arm in and found the lock for the door. With a swift motion, he unlocked the door and his arm retreated back through the hole.

The ponies watched in a combination of horror and shock as the door knob turned with a click and he strode into the room. He looked at the ponies and proudly stated, “Good news, everyone! I’m bankrupt! Enjoy your utopia of trains!”

He turned back around and as he walked through the doorway, he threw his hands up in the air with a flourish whilst still carrying his cane.

“Trains everywhere!”

“Wait!” Twilight yelled, “What about Ponyville?”

The Conductor began to whistle as he continued to walk out, ignoring Twilight.

The ponies stared at him as he simply walked away.

Twilight’s expression hardened. “Get back here!” she hissed.

 She soon found herself running through the doorway to follow him,  but she stopped her chase when she saw that he had halted to stare at something.

“Hey! This is fun!” Twilight heard a familiar voice say.

She turned her gaze towards the voice and spotted Pinkie Pie jumping up and down on top of a train as if it was a trampoline. Surprisingly, reality warped as the metal construction stretched and retracted. Completely oblivious to the laws of physics.

The Conductor took his hat off his head, held it to his chest and gave a bow. “Ah! There she is!”

        Pinkie waved back as he slipped his hat back on. “Hey Mr. Conductor Guy!”

        Twilight’s jaw hit the floor. “You know him!?”

        Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Of course silly! Who do you think let him in?”

        A stallion watching from the doorway screamed, “You let this madman in!? What is wrong with you!”

        Pinkie’s face turned to a frown, but it quickly lit back up as The Conductor spoke, “Thank you, Pinkie. For showing me this wonderful dimension!”

        He bent forward, placing his weight on his cane and then held up his right index finger.

        “And one more thing, I almost forgot to give you this.”

        Twilight watched as The Conductor reached behind his back and pulled out an impossibly large chest. With one hand he moved it to the ground and unlatched the front. He stepped back and motioned with a hand for her to open it.

“This guy would give Discord a run for his money…” Twilight thought in awe.

        Pinkie bounced off the train and to the front of the chest. She used her muzzle to lift the top of the chest. She opened it with ease and scanned the contents. Inside was Thunderlane, Blossomforth, and Mayor Mare. All of them crammed together in what can only be described as a very uncomfortable position.

        “Sillies! This isn’t the time for Twister!”

        Twilight stood shocked at the turn of events. The ponies inside the chest tried futilely to get themselves out. The Conductor stepped around the chest and waved to Pinkie.

        “Well, it’s been fun, but I have to run!”

Twilight bounded after him, “Wait! You have to fix all of the damage!”

The Conductor held a hand out in front of himself. Twilight stopped beside him and glared at him.

Lyra spoke up from the increasingly large crowd at the doorway, “You can’t just leave!”

        “Goodbye, passengers!”

        The train that Pinkie had bounced on rocketed forward off of it’s rail. The Conductor grabbed hold of a ladder rung on the side of the train and pulled himself to the top of the train.

        The train sped off into the distance, smashing through another home and once it reached  the other side, a bright blue light flashed. The flash caused the ponies to turn away and shield their eyes. In the place of the train was now a luminescent, light-blue portal.

        Derpy stepped out of the crowd and next to Twilight and whimpered, “That was my house…”

        Without warning, a horde of Chinese men passed by, somberly following their employer. Pinkie waved to them, but they did not seem to notice, as the majority of them were staring at the ground with tears dripping onto the ground below them.

They walked on the destructive path The Conductor left behind. After they all walked through Derpy’s house, it exploded into a raging inferno, causing the men to sprint in fear away from the fire and into the portal.

        The portal collapsed into itself and closed. Once and for all.

        After of silence, ponies ran from the group to look around the town to see if their houses still stood. The disarray of the town was forbidding to them as they searched the rubble of what was once their homes for any surviving possessions.

        Many ponies declared it a futile attempt and simply laid on the ground, not knowing what to do with their lives. Twilight walked down the road, watching as ponies cried at the front steps of their burning homes.

        She stopped when she reached a plank in the road. A brilliant flame danced on the surface of the cracked wood. She sat on her haunches in the middle of the road and watched it.

Recounting the day’s events, her expression melted away into a saddened frown as she stared into the flames.

        Celestia eyed the smoke rising from Ponyville. She watched whilst her carriage approached the small town. As they got closer, she was able to make out objects constantly moving back and forth in the place of flattened buildings. Namely, trains.

        She spotted Twilight sitting in the road in front of a fire.

        She pointed a hoof at Twilight and yelled, “Down there! Now!”

        The Pegasi guards obeyed and brought the carriage to a halt beside Twilight. Celestia then walked out of the carriage and up to Twilight.

        Her student was visibly scarred from whatever happened and so she asked, “Twilight, are you alright? What happened? Your message was very vague.”

        Twilight slightly turned her head towards Celestia and peered at her from underneath her dirtied mane.

        “The Conductor…”

Chapter 2 - Cleanup

Chapter 2 - Cleanup

        Celestia sat on her haunches, watching as a regiment of Canterlot engineers raised the last wall of a house. The basic frame of it was complete. Using a system of pulleys, a group of five ponies pulled their ropes back which in turn lifted the wall off of the ground.

        Celestia stood back up and walked down the rail-covered streets. With the mass of rails crosshatching Ponyville, they had started repairs by removing the rails that laid where houses once were. Thus, the majority of the roads were still covered in the rail from the previous day’s incident.

        Ponyville was now clear from the trains, but since they hadn’t shut off after The Conductor left, they were magically carried away and held outside of town inside a shield created by Shining Armor that kept them from chugging off.

        The construction crews had already started rebuilding before the other crews had finished carrying all the trains away. As a result, earlier today, they had finished a house before the town was clear. It quickly became evident that doing so was a mistake.

        One of the uncontained trains rocketed off of its rails and immediately smashed through the house. After that incident, the crews double-timed on getting the rest of the trains out of Ponyville.

        Celestia scanned the construction activities proceeding around her. She stopped when she saw the first completed house. Well, the first not-immediately-destroyed completed house. She trotted into the front yard whilst Bon Bon walked out of the front door of the house and waved.

        “Hey, Princess Celestia! We just finished building my house back up! I think I’ll be able to help out the other crews in a few minutes.”

        Celestia smiled. “Good work, Bon Bon. I hope that the other houses are built just as quickly as yours.”

Bon Bon walked out into the street from her new doorway. “Yep! It only took me working all night to get it done. You wouldn’t believe how surprised the others were when they woke up to my half built house!”

Celestia nodded her head. “It’s nice to know we have dedicated ponies like you helping ou-”

“Princess!” An angry voice called out from behind her.

Celestia turned her head around to see a fuming Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up as she complained, “I don’t understand why we can’t fly! You know it would make this much easier, right?”

Celestia nodded in agreement, “I do know, but I’ve banned it for the reason of the missing train. Twilight told me that it flew down and-” Celestia cleared her throat. “- killed a pony.”

“I’m sure it’s alright,” Bon Bon chimed in, “The ponies turned out to be fine, and that train hasn’t been seen for ages!”

“By ages, did you mean one day?” Celestia interrogated.

A bead of sweat trailed down Bon Bon’s forehead. “Y- Yes, but stil-”

Smash.

Bon Bon fell forward and onto her face as her whole house was reduced into nothing but splinters. Celestia’s knee-jerk reaction was to project a shield over the three of them as the wood shrapnel propelled itself from the collision.

Celestia watched through her barrier as the dust cleared to reveal a single freight train embedded vertically in the center of the house’s foundations.

After a moment of silence, Rainbow Dash spoke up, “I found it.”

        Bon Bon pulled herself back up off of the ground and turned to her house. She gaped at the pure destruction that had once been her home. The only part of the house still standing was the back wall. But it was not long until a loud creak came from the structure and it too collapsed on top of the rest of the rubble.

        Bon Bon got over her shock and weakly stated, “W-”

        The freshly fallen wall suddenly burst into flames, causing Bon Bon to snap her mouth shut in surprise.

        Rainbow Dash prodded the ground with a hoof, “Sooo… Can we fly now?”

        Celestia trotted out of Ponyville with the offending train in her magical grasp. It levitated high above her in the sky as there was no room for it to float directly over the ground. Ahead of her, she spotted Shining Armor standing outside the shield near the campground set up for the royal guard.

        He was standing beside a hot pink shield that enclosed the trains in a sphere. He had to stay at the camp to sustain the energy required to power it. She strolled past the campground filled with guards performing their duties and others casually chatting. She reached the end of the camp where Shining Armor sat.

        He turned his head to look at her and whilst doing so, created a hole in the shield to allow the train she carried to enter.

        “Good morning, Princess! There has been no strange activity from the trains.”

        Celestia gave him a nod and levitated the train through the entrance. Once it was fully inside, she released it and it smashed into the trains below it. Unfortunately, none of the trains even received a dent.

        He rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry, we must have missed that one.”

        Celestia smiled softly. “Don’t trouble yourself. Trust me, there was no way you could have caught this one.”

        Shining Armor closed the hole in the shield once more whilst Celestia stated, “Thank you, Captain. Carry on.”

        “Yes, Princess.”

        She turned around and was about to start her walk back to Ponyville.

        “Umm…” Shining hesitated. “One more thing, if you don’t mind.”

        Celestia twisted her head around to give him her attention. “Yes?”

After a short moment of silence, Shining spoke up, “Pinkie…”

        A frown snaked its way onto Celestia’s face. “I’m not going to tolerate the behavior she showed the other day. She crossed the line when she let ‘The Conductor’ in.”

“But don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh? I mean, sending her to Canterlot for incarceration? Don’t you think that’s a little too much?”

“No,” she said flatly.

Shining sighed, “I just hope Twilight and her friends don’t get too angry. It’s going to be hard to explain it them when they find out you sent her there... discreetly.”

Considering his statement  as the end of the conversation, she turned around to face Ponyville and began her walk back.

        Upon entering the small town once more, Celestia took note of the various crews. The section of Ponyville she traversed through was still mostly rubble. Demolition and cleanup crews were knocking down anything left of unsalvageable buildings and carrying the materials into a nearby clearing for further removal.

        She watched as a crew to her right knocked down a house’s remaining supports. The majority of which were gone after one side of the building was completely decimated.

        One of the mares supervising the job yelled out, “Incoming!”

        Celestia ducked as a light grey blur flew over her, the pony had hurtled themself at one of the walls with concerning speed.

Smack.

        The pegasus mare slammed face first into the side of the house. The momentum and the lack of supports caused the wall to give in and fall inwards onto the foundations of the house, carrying the mare with it. She laid still on top of the collapsed wall whilst Celestia ran to the wreckage.

        The crew that had been working inside was standing outside where the door of the house once was. The mare pulled herself up and shook off some dust and debris that had settled on top of her.

        Celestia trotted up to the mare and asked, “Are you alright?”

        “Yup!”

        Celestia noticed her crossed eyes and gasped, “Do you need a doctor?”

        “Nope!”

        The pony started to flap her wings with the intention of flying off. Celestia opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by one of the workers.

        “She’s fine, Princess!”

        Without another word, the pony flew into the air and straight into another building’s wall. A large hole was left where her body smashed through it.

Celestia’s eyes darted around in confusion. “I-I don’t understand.”

The pony nonchalantly flew out of the hole she just created. “Demolition!” she joyfully cheered with a bright smile on her face.

“I see…”

She felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned to the pony trying to get her attention. Before her was a rather scared looking stallion who had a bead of sweat running down his face.

“Princess?” he asked sheepishly as he bowed, “Could you please help us lift up a large piece of rubble out from the inside of one of the houses?”

Without a second thought Celestia replied, “Of course!”

        The stallion led Celestia to a house near the town hall. The house in question had been covered in signs of a fire, namely ash and blackened wood. It had imploded and large slabs from the walls laid in a pile.

        A team of five unicorns stood off to the side of the house, unsure of what to do. Celestia and the stallion trotted over to the unicorns. After receiving bows, she gave them a nod and turned to the pile of debris.

        All six of their horns lit up as the remains of the building was enveloped in a magical field. As they lifted the debris, Celestia could hear a series of grunts. Assuming it was the unicorns, she continued levitating the pile.

Thud.

        Celestia looked underneath the floating debris to see a creature laying on the ground, groaning in pain. She opened her mouth to speak, but the creature quickly hopped up off of the ground and scanned his surroundings. Now that he stood, Celestia could tell that it must have been one of the bi-pedals that Twilight described.

        His eyes caught Celestia’s and the two of them stared at each other.

        Without warning, the man turned around and sprinted away from from Celestia and the crew.

        Celestia commanded the crew, “Get it!”

        The crew and Celestia gave chase as the man tried to escape. An earth pony bystander near the man took initiative and sprinted at the him. As he was about to tackle the man, it stopped, backed up a step, and swung it’s arm in a vertical arc downwards.

        Unable to change his course, the stallion whooshed by the man whilst getting karate chopped on the forehead. Feeling more pain then the receiver of his blow, the man pulled his arm back and continued sprinting away only for his left foot to be held in Celestia’s magic.

        Expecting to be able to move his left foot, he lifted his right foot off the ground and promptly fell forward after the momentum from his run continued despite the sudden resistance. She started dragging the creature through the grass and towards her.

        “He’s going to get me! He’s going to get me! Please!”

        Celestia picked the man off the ground and held him up in front of her.

        “Who is going to get you?”

        The man struggled in her magical grasp and cried out, “He’s going to come back! The Conductor, he’s going to get me!”

Chapter 3 - Trains Are The Best Form Of Transportation

        A single train floated through a haze of swirling purple clouds. The clouds themselves lighting up from the arcs of bright thunder soundlessly flashing in all directions. The train had no tracks, but still seemed to chug along through the empty space as if it did.

        A grave chinese worker sat in the window seat, watching the ever changing atmosphere around them as the train embarked on its uneventful journey to who knows where. Another man sat next to the former, the latter of which held his face in his hands; Tears trailed through the miniscule cracks of his palms and down his arm.

        The man sitting in the window seat turned his gaze to the various other passengers in the train. Everyone of them being another one of The Conductor’s workers. The majority of which either silently sobbed or stared longingly through the windowS. Perhaps picturing their waiting families back home.

        Despite the train being frigid to the point of the men being able to see their own breath, the worker pitied his peer and picked up a small blanket from a small spot between himself and the interior wall of the train. He patted his crying peer’s back and then opened the blanket up to its full dimensions and laid it on the man.

        “It’s going to be alright, just hang in there; We’ll get through this together.”

        The crying man responded by continuing his tears of sadness. The former’s mood dampened even further, causing him to lay back in the seat and let out a sigh.

        “I only wis-”

        The door at the back of the train was kicked open by none other than The Conductor himself.

        “Good work, everyone!”

        The Conductor strolled down the aisle, his cane lightly tapping on the train’s floor. He stopped in front of a shivering Chinese man wrapped in a light wool blanket and patted him on the back.

        “How’re you doing?”

        The man’s teeth chattered as he answered his heartless employer, “C-c-cold-d, S-s-sir.”

        The Conductor lifted a gloved hand and blew some air onto it. He eyed his own breath as it left his mouth and floated away.

        “You’re right! It is cold!”

        He ripped the blanket off of the cold and depressed Chinese man, ripped it in half and finally wrapped one of the halves around his right leg. He dropped the second half onto the floor.

        He then reached behind his back and pulled out a match. It caught on fire as he struck the match against the Chinese man’s face. The Conductor smiled with glee as he dropped the match onto the blanket, causing it to explode in a flurry of flames. He then started dancing around the fire in a style much like a  traditional African rain dance.

The man who he stole the blanket from made the best of the situation and held his hands over the fire. That was until The Conductor pushed him out of the way so he could have room to dance.

        The rest of the men on the train stared in disbelief. Either because of The Conductor dancing or the fact that he was copying the African rain dance perfectly.

        The Conductor stopped dancing as soon as the flames died down to barely a flicker. He unwrapped the ripped-in-half wool blanket from his leg and laid it on top of the ashes.

        The Chinese man who was holding his hands over the fire frowned even more, if that was possible, as The Conductor stomped on the blanket to put out the remainder of the fire.

        “There, I don’t feel cold anymore,” he looked down at the unpaid man next to him and smiled in appreciation, “Thank you!”

        A determined voice sounded off from the back of the train, “When are we getting fe-” the voice died down to hardly a whisper, “-d. We’re hungry…”

        The Conductor skipped down the aisle to the source of the voice and leaned over his lap, smiling directly into the man’s gaze. A swift hand once again flew behind his back and he pulled out a small, lead toy train.

        “Here you go!”

        The Conductor dropped the dry-as-dirt train into the man’s hands and stood fully erect.

        The man held the train out in two hands in front of him and stated, “I can’t eat this…”

        The Conductor answered his statement with one of his own as he skipped back to the front of the train, “Don’t worry! It’s edible!”

        The man stared at the train, unsure if he should trust The Conductor or not. The men sitting around him also looked longingly at the train. The former lifted the train up to his mouth and prepared to chomp on it as the others scrambled to steal it from him.

        He bit down on the train and his eyes shot open.

        “It’s made out of pure lead!”

        The men grappling each other around him that were trying to reach for the train stopped fighting and dropped their heads as they silently walked back to their seats. The Conductor ignored the man’s statement, stopped at the front, and turned around.

        He pulled out a clipboard from behind his back and stated, “Time to take attendance!”

        Ten minutes of calling out names later, The Conductor came across a problem.

        “Do we have a Ubahootah? Ubahootah? You there?”

        He stared up at the men looking back at him.

        “Well?”

        One of the men upfront spoke up, “S-sir, I think we might have left him behind.”

        The Conductor threw his clipboard over his shoulder and exclaimed, “I always love a good excuse!”

        The clipboard that he threw smacked into a door, causing the occupier of the cab to open the door and peer outside. His baseball cap was partially visible, on the front was some text, ‘That One Br-’

        “Take us back!”

        The man tipped his head and disappeared back inside.

        The train lurched as it made a one hundred and eighty degree turn towards Equestria. Clockwise if you were wondering.