Pieces of the past (Celestia)
Celestia Solaris woke to the sound of her alarm clock. A melody and a beat filled the air but she didn't move to stop the CD player. She let the music play as she lay in bed, trying to fully wake up.
Every morning was the same with her. She woke up to the same song, and looked to her right to see the same picture sitting on her dresser. She rubbed her eyes of excess sleep and blinked a few times before the picture focused in her eyesight.
It was a picture of two young girls, hugging each other while in the sand at a beach. The girl to the right had dark blue skin with night blue hair. Her smile was as wide as the moon and her teal eyes shone like stars with innocence and happiness. Next to her was an older girl, who had her arm around the smaller one. She was slightly taller, and looked just about the opposite in appearance to the blue girl.
She was pale white, with big magenta eyes that shone with radiance and wisdom beyond her years. Her multi hued hair was full of light colors, rather than the dark tones of the smaller girls hair. Celestia's younger self had her hair placed neatly behind her head in a long ponytail so that her whole face could be seen, as bright and equally happy as her dear sister in her arms hold.
The picture was her and her younger sister when they were children. Celestia was ten and Luna was eight. The picture of the two girls was so bright, so heartwarming...
Celestia listened to the song playing on her digital alarm clock. A small smile reached her lips as the music built into a first chorus.
When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore that's when I look at you.
When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth...
Celestia found herself mouthing the words as she stared at the old picture, without even realizing her mouth was silently moving. When she did notice, her chest clenched up with that familiar melancholy.
Oh Luna, whatever happened between us? She thought sadly.
You love me for who I am... Like the stars hold the moon...
She and Luna would sing these same lyrics together as children. it was their song. She missed those days dearly...
Celestia forgot about getting out of bed for the moment and her mind wandered off into the past. Her world turned from the early morning rays creeping through her window to a bright and sandy beach. The sun was hot, and not a person was without sunblock that day so many years ago.
“Tia! Tia! I need help building a sandcastle hurry!” Came the shouting of an eight year old. Celestia Solaris looked up at her sister and realized she was in a rush to hold up what was left of her little fort.The sand had already begun to slide down the small hill she made and Luna was trying desperately to stop the spilling. Celestia giggled and set down her book to aid her sister.
She brought her gentle white skinned hand down against her sisters soft blue one and said kindly, “Let me do it.”
Celestia fixed the sand castle with ease before all hope was lost by using her deft hands as the only tool. Luna had been going too rough, and the sand was too fragile to stand on its own. But with Celestia it seemed as though it magically was brought back together again. Luna stared at her sister with wonderment, her large teal blue eyes shining in with joy.
“How do you do it Tia, your’e perfect!” Luna said, hugging her older sister she loved so dearly.
Celestia hugged back, chuckling with the wisdom of someone far beyond her years.
“Oh Luna, I’m not perfect, no one is. Mother is not perfect, Father is not perfect, and certainly not me. I just know how to be gentle. Being kind and gentle with everyone and everything makes them easier to like you, and easier to get the task done. If you get too rough and impatient, things can fail. Remember that Luna, and you’ll have the best sand castles ever!”
Luna barely understood what she was hearing, but she loved when her sister talked. Her voice was soft and clear, like a delicate song… Luna leaned her head up against her sisters’ shoulder.
“Can you sing to me while I work on the sandcastle Celestia?” Luna asked, trying to make her voice sound as calm as her sisters.
Celestia smiled and leaned on her elbows, in a relaxed position. “ Of course Luna….”
The memory faded away into the hands of time, and Celestia refocused her vision. She was still in her bed and the music was continuing to build from a soft bridge into a beautiful and heartwarming chorus….
You appear just like a dream to me…..
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me….
All I need ..
Every breath that I breathe….
Dont you know …..youre beautiful ……..
Celestia tried to regain control of her consciousness but failed. Her mind wanted her to stop thinking of those times…. But her heart told her she needed to see Luna again. Even if she was lost in her memories, she felt like she was finding her all over again. Celestia lost control and fell asleep again.
Luna stood at her sisters bed, on the side of the room that was Celestia’s. They shared a room up until Celestia was eighteen years old. That was the year the scientist came to Canterlot elementary school. They had heard about Celestia’s test scores, and her competitions in science which had caught the attention of many special private schools.
But this scientist was different. He was from Canterlots very own private boarding school for gifted and talented students. Only a select few were chosen to compete for a spot in the science program. And here the dean of science at Canterlot’s School for gifted and talented student was telling Celestia that they wanted her to join! Of course Celestia wanted to go, but her parents could not afford it. So thank fully she achieved an academic scholarship and was able to attend the school.
The only problem was, she had to leave Luna behind. And that broke her heart more than anything…..
Luna stood at her bedside, watching Celestia pack with the saddest expression she had ever seen.
“Dont go Tia.” Luna sniffed, looking down at her small feet. The little girl hugged Celestia which knocked all of her breath out of her lungs at first, but she didnt mind. Celestia could only imagine what would happen once she left. Luna was her best friend! How could she stand to live without her? But the voice inside her told her to leave. She had to. She had to become a famous scientist like she had always dreamed of becoming. Being a scientist meant everything to Celestia...She just had to choose the path that would lead her to success even if it meant leaving Luna for a school year.
“Dont worry Luna. I’ll be back for thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break, and then before you know it we’ll have the whole summer to ourselves. Just you and me!” Celestia smiled and tried to get Luna to do the same.
Luna sniffed, and walked away.
……………………………………………………………………..
“Celestia! Lets go and play!” Luna stood at her sister’s bedside once again, but a year later, and Celestia had completed her first year at Canterlots school for gifted and talented students.
It was now summer and Celestia never knew how much summer homework her instructors would give her until the last week of school when they assigned each science student a fifty page packet to complete. Celestia had no choice but to focus and get this done or she could fail her placement test in the fall.
Luna didnt seem to understand the first time she told her this though. She was barging in on her study time asking for the third time if they could go and play.
Celestia sighed and impatiently waved her hand not even looking up from her textbook and notebook.
“I have homework Luna. Later ok?” Celestia sat criss crossed on her bed with her school things spread neatly out for her to study, and Luna jumped on the edge of the bed, ruining her well organized display.
“Play with me! You never play anymore!” Luna yelled, jumping on the spring mattress with all her weight.
“Luna!!!” Celestia got on her knees and pushed her sister off of her bed. Luna landed with a thud in her back. The sound of her back hitting the floor made Celestia shiver with fear.
Luna let out a sharp “OOf!” showing she had the wind knocked out of her.
Celestia jumped off of her bed. She ran to her fallen sister and helped her sit up. “Im sorry Luna!I didnt mean to hurt you-”
“That hurt Celestia! Why do you love your books more than me!” Luna stood up and winced. She placed her hand on her back to help rub away the pain of the fall, and glared at Celestia. She pushed her older sisters hand away when she tried to help her to see if she would bruise. Luna pulled away from her!
Celestia felt as if she had gotten the wind knocked out of her. She wished it was her who had fallen instead.
“No Lulu, dont say that!”
“You left me alone for a year to read and learn I thought you said we would have the summer to ourselves! The whole time you were gone I had to walk to school every day alone, and I had to do my homework alone because mother and father work too much to even help me cause they are trying to pay for your school! And you cant play with me because your too smart for me? Well fine, I dont ever want to speak to you ever again!” Luna stormed out of the room with angry stomps of her feet, leaving a crestfallen Celestia without her little sister. Luna had never spoken to her that way before...She loved Celestia...didnt she?
Celestia realized for the first time her big mistake. She had hurt Luna more than just from pushing off of her own bed. She neglected her. Forgot about her….Left her alone.
She left her alone…...all alone…..
“Luna I’m so sorry!” Celestia shot up in her bed, everything was a big blur to the disoriented scientist and she had to rub her eyes to see straight. She had a dream...when she and Luna fought for the first time…
Actually, it was the first of many. That summer began the worst time of Celestia’s short life until now that is. But back then this was the worst she had ever experienced. Luna began to avoid Celestia as much as possible. Each day Celestia tried to get her sister to forgive her but Luna had turned cold.
It was all Celestia’s fault. Poor Luna sent Celestia letters all throughout the school year. Forty six letters the first year she was gone. And how many had Celestia had time to answer? Eight. Just eight. This broke Luna’s heart as she found out during the end of the school year Luna stopped writing to her and developed a huge grudge against her older sister. Celestia had broken a promise, and broke her relationship with Luna.
It was all Celestia’s fault. They fought like this for a while, and then Celestia turned fifteen. Luna was thirteen and had not been noticed by any schools yet. She was average in english and math, and exceptional in science, but not great enough to catch the eye of any sponsors. It saddened Luna and also hardened her.
For the next year and a half, Luna never spoke to her sister through the mail or through phone calls. From what her parents told her, Luna had been a study freak, and was determined to be smarter than Celestia. Finally, a recruiter noticed Luna at the state science fair and asked her to come and take the admission test at the school for gifted and tsalented students in Canterlot. The same school Celestia atteneded.
Appartently, Luna felt proud of herself for finally getting the chance her older sister got and accidently told the faculty member who gave the test to hopeful incomers. During the test, the teacher realized that Luna was Celestia’s sister and immediatley put in a word which granted Luna a spot in the education program. It appears that the reason she was quickly accepted was because Celestia was such a bigshot at this school when the board heard she had a sister they were glad to have her in the program.
When Luna found out, she was completely outraged. She never forgave Celestia and turned down the offer to attend Canterlots School for gifted and talented students.She attended public school until she graduated. And just like that she vowed to never stand in her sisters shadow. Celestia had even taken to avoiding her sister sometimes. For every time she saw her, she would glare at her with those jealous eyes. She was honestly scared of what her sister had turned into.
But the worst part was not Luna.
The worst part was Celestia. She had let it get this bad. Everytime Celestia promised herself she would make her sister and herself sit down and talk this whole rivalry out, she got busy with school or had to study for some serious test. And other times thinking about the whole situation made Celestia angry and her anger stopped her from calling her baby sister. She still loved her of course, but she had grown to tolerate the hateful side of Luna and did nothing to stop it.
The last time the two had talked was when Celestia was eighteen. Her birthday was in summer and Celestia’s mother and father were celebrating by giving her her first car to take to college.
The look on Luna’s face when her father handed her older sister the keys to her new vehicle scared Celestia beyond belief.
“WHAT is THIS?” Luna threw her arms up and pointed at Celestia accusingly. “Why does she get everything she wants!”
Luna’s father shot a look at her and turned away from his youngest daughter to give the attention back to his favored daughter. “Celestia, go ahead and look outside. It’s waiting for you in the driveway!”
Celestia was still excited by the car but she was more angry that Luna was getting jealous again. On her birthday? Why now! And it was the day before she left to college.
But then again, there was the part of Celestia who just wanted her little sister back. She could never stay mad at Luna for that long, she always ended up feeling remorse and wanted to bring peace.
So Celestia turned to Luna and swallowed her pride. “Would you like to come and see it with me Luna?Ill let you sit on the drivers seat.” Celestia knew that it sounded forced but she said it anyway.
She knew she shouldn’t have said it as soon as she looked at Luna’s face.
“I cant believe you dare to mock me!” Luna tried to grab at her sister as if she wanted to choke her, but Celestia’s father moved in between the two sisters.
“Luna, that is enough! Now go to your room, and you’re grounded for a month!”
“WHAT?! AGH WHY DO YOU LOVE CELESTIA SO MUCH!”
Celestia could not see her sister because her father was standing in the way of them. She tried to look at Luna but she had already stomped up the stairs and off into their room. She slammed the door with such force that it shook the entire house. Celestia shivered and looked up at her mother and father.
“I- I want Luna to have the car mother. Father, I cant take it. I’m going to college soon, I promise i wont need it, Ill be living on campus there is no need. Really, Luna can have the car.” Celestia held up her keys to her father, but he pursed his lips and frowned.
“We will not give an ungrateful brat something that is so valuable. Especially not after she tried to ruin our baby’s eighteenth birthday.”
Celestia’s mother nodded her head in agreement. “If you do not wish to take it to college, then we’ll keep it ourselves. But dont let your younger sister ruin this for you. Just because she made you feel bad for getting it doesnt mean you should just give it up, Pumpkin.”
Celestia nodded her head and smiled her fake smile she only used for her parents because she knew how much they loved it. She quickly gave her father the keys and said, “Ill look at it later, but Im going to try and calm her down”
Mr.Solaris smiled and nodded his head, taking the keys from her. “You’re such a good sister Celestia.”
He said with pride.
Celestia wanted to throw up…..She was sickened by the fact that she had fooled her parents all this time.
To them it was Luna who started this sibling war. But in reality…..It was Celestia who had undervalued her beloved sister. Something she could never take back…
Celestia ascended the stairs to find her sister laying in her twin sized bed up against the right side of the room, across from Celestia’s own bed. Luna was facing away from Celestia and didnt bother to turn around to see who was entering the room. She probably already knew.
Luna huffed and said, still facing the wall, “You’re such a good sister Celetsia…” She spoke, imitating her father with scorn.
Celestia slowly walked up to her little sister and sat on the edge of her bed which was covered with stars and moons and spacey decorations.
She traced the constellation on the sheets with her finger. “I wish you didnt hate me Luna….”
Luna laughed, but not from being humored. Her laugh was dark, and far too hateful for a sixteen year old.
“You got the good looks, the good body, the kind voice, the kind attitude , the brains, our parents pamper you! You go to a private school where you do private things with rich snobby professors, you have all the friends in the world, and I. Have. Nothing!” Each word Luna spoke pierced a hole right into Celestia’s breaking heart. Her heart ached for her smaller sister.
Luna was completely wrecked with jealousy.
Luna continued while Celestia was still unable to say anything, she only teared up with sadness at the words her sister spoke. Luna too, started to build tears up in her eyes, but she fought them which made her face contort and go ugly.
“I tried for so long to be like you! You’re too perfect Celestia! No one can be you, No one can keep up with you! And you just are ok with leaving the rest of us behind! You left me behind!”
Celestia was choking over her own sobs...She tried to silently tell her sister with her eyes that she was so sorry , but Luna’s gaze only hardened at the sight.
“All I ever hear is how wonderful you are, how high your grades are and what a beauty you are, well you know what? I swear to never speak to you again once you leave to college! Go and be the big scientist you’ve always wanted to be, Ill show you how successful I can be without getting help from my brilliant sister!” Luna’s voice was shrill with hate, and her dark blue skin was turning purple. Her eyes were filled to the brim with burning tears of animosity.
Celestia saw a monster before her eyes. Five years of pent up anger was thrown into Celestia’s face and all she knew what to do was sit there and watch her sister seething in anger before her. Celestia had let this come too far.
Her throat burned with the pain of trying to hold back her aching sobs, and she closed her eyes momentarily to gulp back the feelings that threatened to overcome her.
She had to do something now, even though it was too late.
“I dont want to leave you again Luna…”Celestia grabbed her sisters hand. Something she hadnt held in a long time. Celestia looked into Luna’s eyes only to find a brick wall staring back at her. She knew what would truly make her sister content was to never see her again. But she didnt want to….Still, she wanted to leave in some form of peace, whatever it may be.
“I will leave you alone for as long as you want Luna,I do not want to , but I will. For you. Until you can finally get over this envious heart of yours. I will wait for the day when you absolutely see that I am not anything to be jealous of. Im not perfect. No one is Lulu…. I will wait for your call, or for you to come and find me and become sisters again...”
Luna looked confused for half a second and looked down at her sisters white hand holding her blue one. Just like when they were kids…
But no longer.
Luna nodded her head slowly. Her body was no longer clenched, and she was no longer pouring her rage into her words or the hateful look in her eyes. She let her eyes fall lifeless and she met her sisters gaze.
“You will leave me alone and never speak to me again?”
Celestia swallowed even harder this time. “Y-yes Luna, I-I will….” Celestia hung her head in defeat and let go of her sisters hand.
She ran across the room and took out her suitcase from under her bed. She let the tears fall out of her eyes like a waterfall, and she quietly let the sobs wreck her body as they were begging to do. This hurt so much, to not look back at her sister and see a smiling blue little girl. It broke her heart to see Luna pull away from her when she threw her off her bed all those years ago and it hurt even worse now that she hadnt resolved those old battles with Luna.
Luna said nothing, and did not move from her position on her own bed until Celestia was fully packed. It was an hour later and Celestia had finally stopped crying.
“Luna, I wish you well with your life. You are so smart. So beautiful. And I love you sister…” Celestia’s voice was hoarse, and her throat still stung , but her words were still sincere.
Luna looked at Celestia for a moment. Her eyes were shimmering pools of teal and they shone because she wanted to cry. But her pride wouldnt let her. She swung her head away from Celestia stubbornly and that was her goodbye.
That was the last look she ever gave her sister.
Celestia looked up at her ceiling fan. It rotated silently, giving her fresh air to breathe, and she needed it. She barely realized she was panting. She sat up in bed and looked to her nightable. The clock that sat on the top of the table read 8:00 am. She had slept in!
She quickly got out of bed and rushed to the restroom to brush her teeth. When she opened the door to her personal bathroom, she looked into the mirror and nearly cried.
Looking back at her, was a smaller version of herself, with a light colored one piece bathing suit, her hair tied in a ponytail, and she was holding a beach toy in her hand. The little girl looked up at Celestia and smiled.
Celestia blinked and the little girl was gone. Her mind was playing tricks on her. Why had she given in to the past and let herself get lost in her memories? It was something she had trained herself not to do. She promised Luna to never bother her. And she had to live with that.
She just had to.....
I wonder if she misses me...Celestia thought. I wonder if she faces this every day of her life as I do.
Celestia slumped over her sink, and gripped the sides of the marble counter top with her hands. She looked up into the mirror and saw a tired woman. A lonely and tired woman.
Obviously she is perfectly fine if she has not yet come to seek me out and become sisters again....I guess she does not miss me.
Celestia hung her head in sorrow and let out a heart wrenching wail.
...............................................................
In Canterlot at the exact same time as Celestia was grieving over her sister, Luna Heliopolis, the famous scientist looked into her own mirror.
"What have I done?"
