The Future Sucks

by Diabolo

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Romance
Length: 5044

All the princesses in exile. Prince Blueblood as the head of the dictataorial republic. The Flim Flam Brothers creating a technological revolution and Diamond Tiara as the most powerful pony in Equestria. This future sucks!

5 years in the future and Equestria is unrecognizable. Mega-corporations, chief among them the Tiara Corporation, dominate the nation, the princesses have been exiled in favor of a republic and the secession of the Pegasii have left the skies darkened. In the new city of Tiarajuana the earth pony Applejack drinks herself to sleep, blaming herself for falling for Tiara's gambit. Meanwhile her old friends Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy work to prevent the Wonderbolts finding the Crystal Lance, a legendary artifact said to make its user invincible and a mysterious figure arrives in old Ponyville donning the mantle of a local folk tale to fight crime and write the wrongs of the past.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-12 19:19:24 UTC

Chapter 1- Mare Do-Well

Ponyville. Former city of Friendship. Former home of Princess Twilight Sparkle, First Lady Rarity and Propaganda Minister Pie and of course me. Been a long time since I left this place. Ever since the Tiara Corporation ran me out of my home fifteen cycles ago and sent me on the road. I’ve learnt how to fight since then, and now I’m back to fight those who practise injustice. Flim and Flam. Emperor Blueblood. Lady Silver Spoon. And particularly Diamond Tiara. Word is the bullying psycho had it planned from the beginning, though how could a little filly be that manipulative ‘less she was the spawn if Tirek himself. More likely she just picked up on events as they came.

All I know is, long time ago now, she and Silver had been picking on three little fillies including the youngest child of the Apple family. Of course her older sister found out and as the Element of Honesty her morals were very strict. All contact with Tiaras family was severed and the Apples had to turn to their old rivals the Flim Flam brothers for help. Of course that didn’t last long and soon the elderly matriarch was dead, just collapsed during a heated argument and the children were essentially run off their farm. The elder two went to work as guard for Princess Twilight while the younger disappeared without a trace. Meanwhile Sweet Apple Acres under new management had re-entered into business with Diamond Tiara and her family which proved to be more successful than previous endeavours thanks to the cider production line as well as other inventions eventually turning into the corporate giant FlimTech. This development was met with excitement by some, fear by others particularly the princesses. So Diamond leaned heavily on her links to the newspaper to slander the ruling government accusing them of dictatorship, autocracy and other bad stuff. Riots broke out and eventually blossomed into revolution. Under popular demand Celestia and Luna left for their respective orbital bodies, Twilight supposedly became a hermit and no-one believed Cadance the Crystal Princess would bring her subjects into a depressing war and thus settled for a non-aggression pact. A republic was declared and Blueblood, slayer of the great draconequus Discord was named Lord Protector and any supporters of the princesses were hunted down.

Oh and one more thing. Around the same time this was happening, the Wonderbolts, sports-team-slash-paramilitary-force, led a coup in Cloudsdale and seceded from Equestria, forsaking their duties as weather guardians, which is the reason for these constant dark skies and chill wind. It’s not just so I can have a cool backdrop to gaze at the city. My city. Lower Canterlot, formerly known as Ponyville.

Ok now I’ve done my broody superhero monologue, better not waste any more time. I’ll have to find a hideout. Nice shallow cave perhaps. Then I’ll go downtown and start making a rukus, hopefully make a name for myself and let all those crooks in charge know that Mare-Do-Well is out for blood.

Chapter 2- Rainbow Dash I

Expert from “Observations on the Far North of the Equestrian Continent” by Scotus Falcon, OGK (Order of the Griffin Kingdoms)

Long before the tyranny of King Sombra the monastic city state calling itself the Crystal Empire was a major power in the north of Equestria. Its forces patrolled the north taming the wilds left by the great migration of the three other pony tribes to the south. They held this power due to a legendary weapon; the Crystal Lance, an artifact designed to make the holder and his army invincible in combat. Sources tell me that traditionally when an emperor died his sons would duel for their throne in a grand tournament. And so it was with the death of Emperor Adamas his son Nova ascended to the throne. However the great General Dilithius protested advocating all major figures be given a chance to compete and, not just the Imperial Family. When he was denied he stole the lance and raised his banner in revolt. There was a great war in the north but with the power of the lance the general was unstoppable and was soon in the throne room, the emperor impaled on the lance. But through his berserk rage he heard the cry of a babe and saw a pink filly Pegasus nuzzling her dead mother at the back of the room. Then he heard the heard the screams and the sound of burning and was overcome with grief. And in his sorrow he smashed the lance into three and called an immediate cease to the violence. He swore to rule as regent for the young princess and marked a new age of peace by scattering the three pieces of the lance (the staff, the handle and the blade)to the corners of Equestria. Of course this absolute pacifism is what led to its fall to King Sombra and its disappearance. But rumors still persist about the lance that if the pieces were united the user would become an unstoppable warrior. Or at least according to local legend.

This book lay open on the desk in the study of the zeppelin where Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy now lived with said explorer. The pages flipped over to observations on northern flora as the cyan Pegasus sped from one side of the room to the other. It had been five years and they still hadn’t come any closer to finding the pieces of the lance. She’d searched very relevant book in the study and could find nothing. Still that didn’t stop her from still purging the shelves for any lead that would stop the Wonderbolts getting their hooves on it. It wasn’t much but it was the least she could’ve done seeing as how Scotus had dragged her and Fluttershy across half the world from the grasslands of the far south to the volcanic islands where the dragons made their home all to compose another book. And as if that wasn’t enough when he’d finally decided to return to Equestria he’d insisted on circumnavigating the globe before realizing the earth was flat after they nearly fell off. Then finally they started to head Equestriaward but not before he’d stopped in Gryphon City again to deliver a speech admitting his folly.

Given all this time had passed Rainbow had virtually memorized every book in the study as well as writing the next few Daring Do books based on her adventures. Those expeditions hadn’t been fruitless. She had gotten some treasures of her own such as the Wyrmstone, a protective artifact which she’d stolen from the Lord of the Dragon Isles. But if derailing a mission against her mission to do bogus favors for a fellow adventurer was the cost, She wasn’t sure she wanted in, even if Daring was out of commission.

She was still musing on these thoughts when Fluttershy came into the room.

“Uh Rainbow.”

Rainbow spun round, exasperated “What!?  Oh sorry Fluttershy. What is it?”

“Um, I just wanted to tell you that supper’s nearly ready.”

“Ok, sorry about that. I was just frustrated that I still have no idea of where the pieces of the lance are.”

“It’s OK Rainbow. We’ll find them soon enough.”

“Its been five years and most of it was spent being dragged around by that pompous, senile birdbrain all to write field journals.”

“If Daring could help us she would. But she can’t and Scotus is an old friend from that Griffins Goblet exploit.”

“And while we’re nearly getting killed by volcanoes and falling off the world the Wonderbolts could’ve found a piece by now.”

“Just be grateful we’re heading to Equestria right now, the Crystal Empire no less.”

Dash sighed “Yeah I suppose you’re right. I just wish Daring Do was still alive.”

*

Soon the three of them were sitting in the dining room which also doubled as the kitchen because the study took up the whole front of the pod eating salad and mushroom stew.

“Excellent nosh, as always Fluttershy, old gal” said Scotus tucking into his stew”I’ll be sad to see you go.” Rainbow hadn’t been exaggerating when she called him pompous and senile. The griffin explorer did cut the image of high society stuffiness with his impressive mustache, brass monocle and bell-buttoned, frilled jacket.

“Speaking of which” put in Rainbow Dash “when are we gonna arrive at the Crystal Empire?”

“About a few days. Have to circle round the mountains and come down from the north, don’t you know. If you two are fugitives you can’t be seen in Equestrian airspace wot.”

“Yeah I suppose you’re right” Rainbow said.

“I’ve always meant  to go back to the north as well. Brings back such memories about the last time I was here. Daring convinced me, ya know.”

Rainbow and Fluttershy exchanged a look. They had arrived at Daring Do again. Writer, archaeologist, hero extinguished in her prime by an unexpected foe. Her mind drifted to that day as Scotus rambled on about something she could find in his book anyway.

*

It had been just another day in Ponyville or as normal as it could be in the dusk before these dark times. Granny Smith had just had an argument with her new business partners the Flim Flam Brothers and had collapsed and she and the others had gone to be with Applejack at the hospital. The nurse had just declared visiting time over and they wandered out. She was already feeling sad for her friend but a fleeting glance into a nearby ward chilled her to the bone. There was a tan Pegasus lying on a hospital bed wearing bandages and casts. Her hero the legendary Daring Do or rather the author A.K Yearling, broken and defeated. Without thinking she’d walked into the ward, shaking with every step. The staff had  moved to intercept her but her hero had beckoned her to her side.

“S’OK. She’s not just a fan” she’d grunted.

“Miss D-Yearling, what happened? Who did this?”

“Journal will explain everything…Elixir of Life…too late… wrong hooves…”

“Auhuitzotl? Where is he? What d’you want me to do?”

“He’s dead…But…wasn’t him…trying to stop them…gave himself to save me…”

“Who’s them? Why did they…?”

But her questioning was answered by the sound of necks being snapped and hooves on the tiled floor. Rainbows head turned round slowly. The Wonderbolts were standing in the doorway, the bodies of the staff on the floor and Soarin closing the door.

“Oh, how unlucky” Spitfire had said “I was hoping for no interruptions. But you’ve seen how it is. You’re friends are your weakness. They hold you back. This is what you’ve always wanted. Join us in this endeavor and fulfill your dreams. Fulfill your duty.”

Ok maybe she hadn’t said it as on the nose as that but that was the basic gist as she held out a Wonderbolts badge. But her answer still rang in her ears as she took it, recent events crashing over her like a typhoon.

“Not on your life”

With a flick over hoof she’d thrown the badge like a throwing star right at Spitfires face. Had her aim been better it would’ve pierced her brain and killed her, but as it was it just glanced off. But this gave her enough of a distraction to grab Daring Do’s journal from her bedside table and sped towards the door knocking them down like bowling pins. She’d had to go into hiding since then, in the cave on the mountain where her pal Fluttershy had confronted her fear of dragons. She heard news in her hideout. The Apples losing the farm. Blueblood’s revolution. And of course, the Wonderbolts coup.  Soon she knew that she had to leave Equestria. So she  flew back to Ponyville finding only Fluttershy as the last pony on the Council of Friendship still alive and loyal and together they’d escaped to the Griffin Kingdoms where these five years of fools errands had started.

“Oh goodness, is that the time?” Scotus’ voice broke through her flashback “You two had best get to bed quick-sharp. I’ll take first shift at the wheel.”

“Scotus Falcon may reek of pomp and circumstance” Rainbow thought as she and Fluttershy went to the shared sleeping quarters “but he was still well-mannered.”

Chapter 3- Sweetie Belle I

“Another boring day over, another shift begins” thought Sweetie Belle as she sat in her dressing room in Sugarcube Corner Nightclub that also served as her sleeping quarters. She stared into the mirror looking into the eyes of an adolescent marble unicorn with a shoulder length curly lilac and pink mane with barely visible bags under her eyes and a cutie mark in the shape of a microphone concealed under her bright purple dress. “Am I destined to work in this two bit joint for the rest of my life” she wondered “I suppose so. I won’t be able to get a better record deal. Not while my deadliest rival is the most powerful pony in Equestria.”  She doubted she would be working at all if her employers weren’t distant acquaintances of hers as well as operating outside of Diamond Tiara’s laws. Once respectable businessponies, Pound and Pumpkin Cake were faced with the family business being absorbed into the Tiara Corporation and so turned to the wrong side of the law to stay independent. Their personalities certainly fitted this lifestyle; Pound was a bruiser while Pumpkin hit on anything that moved. These two managed and protected the business but she was the one who bought the crowds in.

Her musing was interrupted by somepony knocking on the door. Four knocks. Pip’s knock.

“Come in” she said.

The door opened and a young stallion with a slightly messy brown mane came in holding a rose in his mouth. “Hey Sweetie” he said in his sexy voice, his mouth full of stalk.

“S’not nearly as romantic when you speak while holding the rose” she said.

He crossed the room and put in in her mane. “How’s that” he asked.

“As romantic as the first time you’ve done it” she replied and when he looked upset she added “and it never gets any less so.”

“Thanks” said Pip, blushing. Then he said out of nowhere “Lets run away, Sweetie.”

“What?”

“Lets run away. Live on the road. We got no mouths to feed except our own. We’ll live as nomads wandering the earth and Diamond Tiara need never find us.”

“I dunno, Pip. What’ll we live on? Will the Cakes come looking for us?”

“We won’t need to worry about them. They don’t have half the resources that the corporations have. Besides we’ll live off the land or borrow from those who can afford it.”

“You mean steal stuff?!” Sweetie Belle sounded shocked.

“Only from those who deserve it. Think about it. No superiors, no rules, just the two of us. What do you say?”

Sweetie Belle couldn’t deny Pip was using near infallible reasoning, but she still didn’t know if she was ready to go on the road as an outcast. Yes, her boyfriend would be with her, but would it be enough.

“I dunno Pip, I may need time to think. Anyway its almost time for me to start singing” she replied.

“Ok” he said “meet me round back after you’re shifts over and we’ll talk about it some more.” He gave her an affectionate peck of the cheek and then left hurriedly.

*

The audience was still cheering and calling for more as Sweetie Belle left the stage and went into her dressing room. She’d made up her mind. She couldn’t stand it anymore. All those stallions enviously ogling her like a porcelain doll in a music box. She was going to run away with her coltfriend and there was nothing that Diamond Tiara, the Cake Twins or the “Lord Protector” could do about it. She placed the rose in her mane, then dashed around the room gathering the items that she would take on her trip. Her sheet music would make good fuel for a campfire and of course whatever food or drink was left in the cupboard. The clip-on switchblade which the Cakes issued to all personnel for self-defense was already on her hoof. Anything else she figured she could leave behind. She stuffed all her items into a saddlebag then snuck through the corridors and through the back entrance into the back alley. There she hid her saddlebag in a nearby dustbin and waited for Pip to arrive. The sound of her not as envied successor drifted through the windows. Sweetie may not have been the only entertainer at SugarCube Corner but she was defiantly the most popular. Must’ve been due to the fact that she was a professional showgirl trapped in a seedy nightclub, Diamond Tiara’s invisible prison. But she was about to break free from her clutches. She was going to go on the run with Pip. She was going to…

“Hey there, Sweetie.”

That sounded too deep, too perverted to be her Pip. She turned around. Two of the usual consumers were standing in the entrance to the alley. She didn’t know their names. But then she didn’t need to seeing as how they’d supposedly conquered a mare like her in a darkened alley.

“Listen I know what you want. Its obvious what you want. But I won’t go down so easily” she said, barely containing the panic.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle we just wanna talk to you.” One of them said as they closed in on her.

“I’m warning you back off” she said, now more forcefully. She twitched a muscle in her front leg and the knife flicked out “My employers don’t let their personnel go unprotected in a place like this.”

Suddenly she felt strong hooves grab her from behind and a clear urban-sounding voice whisper in her ear “drawing weapons on law officials. Now we have the perfect excuse to put you and the Cakes behind bars.”

So this was all just a set up. How much of this was real, was Pip in on this, did he lead her into a trap. Then the officer grabbed her tighter and took a long draft through his nostrils.

“No fair, officer” one of the thugs said “Deal was we’d get a piece of the action. You’re stealing our fun.”

“And you shall have it” said the officer. He repositioned his hooves to make this possible. Sweetie stole her chance and kicked her attacker in the shins. He weakened but refused to collapse.

“Oh so the cat has claws.” said the officer “I like a little fight in my mares.” The two cronies started to converge on Sweetie Belle. She was well aware of their intentions now. But she wasn’t going down without a fight, nopony would. But just as she was about to cry for help, a dull thud sounded followed by the swishing of a cape akin in that moment to the rumbling of thunder. All four looked at the location of the noise. A lithe athletic pony was now walking slowly out of the shadows of the alley towards them. It was unclear whether he or she was pegasus, unicorn or Earth pony as its dark floppy hat and cape obscured most of its body. The rest was covered by darkened synthetic armor and a black skull-mask which covered it entire head. A yellow oval of its chest was embossed with a black capital M and its hooves were marked by polished fighting horseshoes.

“A fine state this town has become indeed” it spoke in a raspy voice “an officer of the law ganging up with two streetrats to assault a humble club singer.”

“She’s been convicted of threatening said officer and with the possession of an unlicensed weapon” said the lawpony in question “and she’s mentioned her employers issue these to their staff as well.”

“From the looks of things she has good reason to have a knife” said the stranger “and if the ordinary citizens have to protect themselves from their supposed protectors as well as the villains then they themselves have become villains and the sheep must become their own shepherds.”

“What does that even mean” asked the officer.

“Basically it means its up to ponies like me to kick your flanks back into shape” the stranger replied as it advanced on the party.

“Listen buddy, you’re threatening a member of the Lord Protectors security force…” the officer began but before he could continue the masked figure leaped over him and kicked him in the back of the head. He staggered dropping Sweetie Belle to the ground. As he stumbled around his two cronies started on the stranger but the stranger charged as well and swung her right hoof. It connected with the respective ponies jaw with a gut wrenching crunch and he fell sideways into his companion. They fell into a heap before getting up and running away. The figure now turned to the fallen law enforcer now just beginning to get to his feet.

The stranger flipped him over, growled “anypony who must say he enforces the law is no lawpony at all” and stamped hard on his face. He slumped on the ground unconscious, several teeth missing.

Sweetie Belle meanwhile was backed up against the wall, breathing heavily her now free switchblade pointing stiffly outwards. “G-Get away from me” she stammered as the stranger advanced on her.

“Ease up kid. I ain’t gonna hurt you” it said walking towards her.

“Who are you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I would have thought my appearance would ring a bell.”

Sweetie thought hard but not for very long. Her sister had once told her about the time Rainbow Dash had become too boastful and her supposed friends had decided to one-up her by donning the mantle of a masked hero known as…

“You’re the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well aren’t you” asked Sweetie Belle.

The masked figure chuckled. “Darn right. Except unlike last time Ponyville needs it vigilantes. He what's up?”

A morose disposition had come over Sweetie Belle and tears had started to come to her eyes “Sorry” she said “just thinking about my sister and the old days got me all teared up.”

“Sorry” said Mare-Do-Well “Well you’ve been through some bad stuff tonight. I think its best if you come home with me. When that officer wakes up the Cake’s will be taken down and so will you if you’re still around. My hideouts on the outskirts of town better hide there until this dies down”

Normally Sweetie Belle would have been hesitant about this kind of proposition but she figured in this case she could trust this particular vigilante so she accepted. “Just one thing” she said “Where’s Pip.”

Mare-Do-Well turned to face her and said “On his way to the morgue. Once he got you into the alley he’d outlived his usefulness.”

Chapter 4- The Current State of Affairs

Pinkamina Diane Pie sat in her office in the Ministry of Public Relations waiting for that moment when the Lord Protector and his cabinet would begin their meeting. A lolly stick hung out of her mouth like a cigarette a welcome remnant of her old habits while the current times were reflected by her pink mane having a deflated look about it. The time that had passed since she became head of this branch of government appeared as a bleary haze of files and timetables and remembering a time when party planning was a lot more fun. That was what her new job boiled down to; a more boring rendition of her old job. It wasn’t wholly ethical (she didn’t exactly like supporting Diamond Tiara’s puppet dictator) but the ponies of Equestria needed to be kept happy and she was willing to do it for them. Of course having a whole department and hundreds of other ponies working for her meant her parties were now bigger than ever though not quite as cheerful. There was also the less appealing publishing and radio aspects but she just handed them over to middle management though she did help wherever she could. Right now there was not a lot to do, the programming was fine, no particularly big festivities coming up. Nothing to do but stare blankly at the screen until…

Her daydreaming was suddenly interrupted by the blaring of the instrumental of the Equestrian national anthem issued from the alarm on her desk indicating that todays cabinet meeting was about to begin. Startled Pinkamina jumped out of her seat and walked over to the transporter pad that would automatically take her to Canterlot Castle.

*

At the head of the cabinet table sat a regal looking white unicorn with a blonde mane now scruffy to reflect his plebeian image. Aside from Pinkamina the other ministers present included Rumble, Minister of Equestrian Security with his slicked back black mane; Featherweight, Minister of Internal Affairs with his pencil frame and brown combover, and Fancy Pants, Minister of Wealth and Prosperity with his blue curls and mustache, gleaming monocle and everpresent air of Charisma.

“Long live the Republic” the Lord Protector said, by way of greeting.

“Fates bless Equestria” the cabinet members responded in a monotone.

Blueblood, or Blue Collar as he was supposed to be called, then cleared his throat and said “Any pony have anything to report. I heard rumors that one of my soldiers was attacked by somepony in a mask.”

Rumble spoke up “As you know I’d ordered a sting operation into an unlicensed establishment. While it is successful it didn’t go as planned. One of my enforcers was knocked unconscious and when he woke up he identified his assailant as a wearing a purple skullmask and cloak who tried to stop him taking the club dancer Sweetie Belle into custody.”

“Double the sweeps.” Said Blueblood “I want this insurgent found before he becomes a threat. And if they see this dancer tell them to make her murder discreet. But bring her to trial if you can. I trust you’ll contribute as well Featherwight.”

“Yes Milord. Also my spies report that the known royalists Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have been sighted circling the northern frontier in an airship belonging to the Griffin Kingdoms.”

“They may be heading for the Crystal Empire. Send a few hitponies to pick them off. But make this one discreet, we can’t risk declaring war on the last Alicorn. Also send some men to the Griffin Kingdoms to maintain their neutrality.”

At this point Fancy Pants spoke up “Increased military capacity and a first class ticket to the kingdoms. We’ll have to go hungry for a whole hour.”

“Enough of your snark Minister. Just raise the popular taxes.”

“Why not just ask Diamond Tiara or Flimtech for some more money. It seems they can afford it” replied Fancy Pants.

“But she thinks she pays enough and if I make her pay more she’ll kick me out this revolution will collapse. The masses on the other hand can easily be persuaded by one or two public executions.”

“No need for that” said Fancy Pants quickly “I’m your Minister for Wealth and Prosperity. I’ll find a way.”

“That just leaves you Miss Pie” said the Lord Protector “I want you to organise a smear campaign against the potential vigilante. Not too big, ponies will get suspicious. Just a few leaflets about not taking the law into their own hands. And tell them keep up with the anti-monarchist campaign as well.”

“Yes Milord” Pinkie Pie said.

He then addressed the cabinet as a whole “My government, if these events are anything to go by our regime is heading for a time of crisis. We must nip them in the bud before they become a threat. We may have the backings of corporate giants but we still must safeguard our popular future. We’ve fought hard for this revolution and I will not let that happen. This concludes our meeting for today, good afternoon. ”

And with that the meeting adjourned.

*

Rarity had been crying again. Not her usual hammy, turn-on-the-waterworks crying, but silent weeping staring out of the window at the darkened sky. It wasn’t easy being the wife of the Lord Protector particularly to a rude, manipulative stallion like Blueblood. Although he insisted on being called Blue Collar but she knew he was still an aristocrat through and through. Her friends were dead, her sister was out of her reach and her whole world was turned upside down. It wasn’t as if Blueblood was abusive or anything like that. Aside from forcing her to marry him and not doing anything to help her sister, he treated her with cold indifference, paraded her as a trophy wife and, at worst, manipulated her into not leaving. Her dreams of joining the fashion industry were dashed in exchange for…

Knock, knock, knock

She quickly pulled herself back together and called “Come in.”

The door creaked open followed by the reply “Good evening Rarity.” She looked around. Fancy Pants, the Minster for Wealth and Prosperity, was standing in the doorway. He walked over and wiped  some leftover tears from her cheek “Been crying again” he asked. She nodded. Seconds later she’d thrown her front hooves around his neck, he’d kicked the door shut and they’d backed up against the wall kissing passionately.

“How did you get rid of my husband” she asked coming up for air.

“He hung back. Diamond Tiara called. Couldn’t talk till everyone left” he said, panting.

“Good enough. Should have 10 minutes.” And then they were kissing again muzzles and necks touching passionately. And all too soon her love was saying “I must leave now but I promise that I’ll find a way to stem these tears. I’ll even overthrow the Republic if I have to.” And with that he left.

“Goodbye” Rarity whispered as her love sped out of the door at full gallop to avoid the guards. This future may not be preferable but it had its moments. And he’d just given her an idea. “Overthrow the republic you say” she mused as she heard her husband’s hoofsteps coming down the corridor, back from his meeting with Equestria’s true overlord.