Righty Lefty

by DeluxeMagnum69

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5213

Twilight Sparkle stumbles upon a spell that splits her brain into two separate entities. Hilarity ensues.

Twilight Sparkle stumbles upon a spell that splits her brain into two separate entities. The confusion creates great chaos and hassle. Her left and right brain duke it out, exposing a few dirty secrets in front of her very close friends. It's going to be fine in the end, won't it?

Published 2014-08-14 20:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-14 20:20:03 UTC

Righty Lefty

“Those who are clever, who have a brain, never understand anything.” - Winnie the Pooh

“Interesting!” a bright voice said. The voice belonged to none other than Twilight Sparkle, a very clever lavender unicorn. Embarking in her curiosity of the old library that laid in the Everfree Forest, she sought out for new knowledge. “This book was from the Crimson Era!” she said with a smile. “I have to put that in the ‘Read-Later’ pile!” She gave a snort and a giggle. Her horn a lit and placed the tattered article on top of a monstrous pile of books.

“Okay, what next?” she said, grabbing a worn-out document. A single shard of stone above fell and hit the ground. With an ancient castle standing for ages, Twilight was aware of the dangers. But the dangers were worth it with priceless books that were contained in the library. The rock made an echo through the silence of the massive room. Twilight gave a closer upon the piece of parchment. Torn out from a book, it amazed Twilight how the paper she had in her magical grasp was still intact. Upon closer inspection, Twilight could see tiny letters. She squinted, hoping to read what it said.

Things divided, cannot stand. But what if a brain, is split like land? Each own territory, and each with its own might. Did you have the time to make it right?

Twilight’s muzzle scrunched. What did that mean? She read it out loud to hopefully understand it more. “Things divided, cannot stand,” she said, not noticing that an ominous glow alit from the parchment. “But what if a brain, is split like land?” she continued on. Her eyebrows scrunched, trying to get a clearer view of the words. “Each own territory, and each with its own might. Did you have the time to make it right?”

A green glow from the document swept into Twilight’s mind. She raised an eyebrow. “That didn’t do anything,” she said with disappointment. “Oh well.” She threw the useless thing under the table. “Now, let’s see-”

What Twilight saw next was complete darkness.

The unicorn laid on the floor unconscious, unbeknownst to her that a bright light was emitted from her body. A doppelganger of a darker shade of her popped out, but with a bitter look. She looked around gave a scowl. Without a word, she trotted out before a different apparition popped out. A coat of a much lighter hue, this Twilight had a face of glee. She skipped happily out the other way, absorbing the rest of the body.

The gorgeous blue skies spread across the sky. All what was left were small clouds that lazily floated around. Upon one of these lazy clouds, a lazy cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane was fast asleep. She gave a few soft snores and snuggled on the soft cloud. Above the small town of Ponyville, a quaint little place. It was the home to earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi alike.

The rainbow pegasus suddenly awoke when she heard the sound of hooves on the road. She peered her sleepy eyes to see her good friend Twilight Sparkle. “Hey Twilight!” she said, swooping in at a steep angle, “Why are you back so early?”

The unicorn did not pause. It was as if she ignored her. “What’s with that attitude?” the pegasus asked, flying along Twilight. She walked on. “I’m talking to you!” the tomboy-like voice said harshly.

“I know that, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight replied venomously with a cold gaze. She gave a dirty look and walked on, locking Rainbow Dash on the spot.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked, landing on the ground.

“Nothing,” Twilight replied.

Rainbow Dash sprinted in front of her friend, but Twilight simply walked around her. The unicorn gave a really annoyed look. “I’m walking here.” Rainbow Dash gave a tsk. “And I was talking to you.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to know why you’re acting up like this.”

“Acting up what?” Twilight sneered, “It’s none of your business anyway!”

Rainbow Dash became dumbfounded. Twilight walked away as if nothing happened. Lost for words, the pegasus sat on the ground. This isn’t the old eggheaded Twilight I know. Rainbow Dash thought. Something is wrong.

“Good natural honeysuckles!” a pink pony yelped cheerfully. The party pony, Pinkie Pie, suddenly pulled out many stems and harvested drops of the sweet flower. “It’ll make a great flavor in the cakes!”

As she was doing this, a bright purple unicorn hopped on happily. “It’s such a beautiful day!” she exclaimed. It was Twilight, but her coat was giving off radiance. She gave a very bright smile. “I love it!”

Pinkie Pie heard this and turned around to see her friend. “Twilight! Returning from the castle?”

Twilight nodded her head. “Yep!!” She bounced towards Pinkie Pie. “Whatcha’ doin’?”

“Just collecting honeysuckle droplets!” Pinkie Pie replied.

“Pfft, that’s like completely impossible,” Twilight said with a wave of her hoof.

“It is?”

“Naw. What do you think I am? A killjoy?”

The dark Twilight sulked into town, obtaining attention from almost everypony.

“Hey Twilight!”

“Good afternoon, Twilight!”

“Good day Twilight!”

However, to all of these she ignored. Twilight gave a tsk and walked inside the library. She closed the door behind her. “I wonder why they always greet me,” she said to herself, “The small talk is useless. It isn’t even productive to just say ‘hello’ to each other.”

She lifted her head. “Time to be productive,” she said without any emotion. In an instant; charts, lab materials, and books laid out in the library. All the tools flung around. They were making measurements, calculating data, and experimenting with ordinary fluids. Quills scribbled and notes were taken. Productive production was made.

Pinkie Pie and the bright Twilight hopped into town together with their collected honeysuckle droplets. “Wow Twilight,” Pinkie Pie said, “You’ve never been this energetic before! You like, only get this excited when there’s books!”

Twilight snorted. “I guess you’ve just never seen me like this!”

“Yeah! I guess I never did!”

The two arrived at Sugarcube Corner, with vials of the sweet residue. “We’re baaack!!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

“B-But you left alone…” a voice in the back whispered. And in the back were Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

“Hiya Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” Twilight said with multiple waves of her hoof. A giant smile laid on her face. “How was your day?”

“It’s going fine,” Mrs. Cake said with a sweet smile. “I-I take you helped Pinkie Pie to, uh, collect honeysuckle drops?”

“An-And I was just joking about it,” Mr. Cake said, scratching his head, “I have no idea if they even give flavor.” The Cakes walked behind the counter.

“Aw, I think they will,” Twilight said, placing the basket on the counter, “Why not try it? It’s not going to hurt anyone or anything.”

“Hm, perhaps you’re right,” Mr. Cake said. He chuckled nervously. “But collecting honeysuckle drops is a tedious and near impossible task.”

“Oh, nothing is impossible!” Twilight said, putting a hoof on her chest.

Rainbow Dash muttered to herself as she landed at Fluttershy’s cottage. “Fluttershy,” she said, breaking into the house, “I need your help!” Rainbow Dash walked to her friend’s room. Nothing there. However, upon hearing noises behind a door, she gave a strong kick. Fluttershy was relaxing inside a bathtub until splinters exploded, startling the pegasus. She panicked and dove underwater.

“Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked, wandering into the steamy room, “I know you’re here. Somewhere.”

“Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy said, peering out from the water. Her entrance caught Rainbow Dash off guard.

“What the-”

The inconvenient soap puddle led to Rainbow Dash’s demise of her face meeting Mr. Floor. With a large smack, Rainbow Dash met Mr. Floor with a “Wah”.

“Oh, hey Rainbow!” Fluttershy said, wrapping a towel around her mane, “Did you call my name?”

Rainbow Dash replied with gibberish.

“My, fancy meeting you here, Twilight!” Rarity, the fashion pony said, “You come to Sugarcube Corner for afternoon tea too?”

Light Twilight shook her head. “No, I just helped Pinkie Pie collect honeysuckle drops.”

“Honeysuckle… drops?”

“Yeah, silly,” Twilight said, giving Rarity a friendly smack in the shoulder, “What tea do you drink?”

Rarity winced in pain at the hard punch. “Uh, t-today, I’m thinking Jasmine.” She gave a groan. “And that was very unlady-like,” she commented under her breath.

“Then let’s have tea for this tee-off! And maybe we’ll have a t-shirt contest!” Twilight said excitingly.

“Then we’ll tang it off!!” Pinkie Pie said, jumping into the conversation.

“T-That doesn’t make sense!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Oh, you don’t make sense silly filly,” Twilight said playfully.

“Yeah, filly silly!” Pinkie Pie added in.

“P-Please don’t push it more, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said, growing a bit blue.

“What? Twilight? Being a cold stoned stupid head?” Fluttershy said, “I don’t know about the stupid part.”

“You’re missing the point!” Rainbow Dash said, giving a deep dive in the air. She circled Fluttershy before doing a barrel roll. “Twilight isn’t herself!”

“She just might be going through a phase,” Fluttershy said.

“What phase?”

“It just might be that time of the month for her.”

“Are you serious? How do you know this? It’s not as if you have a special calendar that marks our friend’s periods to know and not to know to visit during their time!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Y-You have a special calendar just for that?” Fluttershy asked astonished.

“What!! No!”

At that moment in time, a water bomb exploded, drenching the entire town in a layer of hydrogen and two oxygen. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy shuddered, feeling the cold water grip their coats. They landed on the ground to see only Rarity flail into the air and smack to the ground.

“S-Stop them!!” Rarity screamed with swirling eyes,”They’ve gone mad!!” She wore a small white t-shirt, obtaining the curiosity of the two pegasi.

“I’m going to win the wet t-shirt contest, Twilight!!” Pinkie Pie said, holding up a gatling gun that held a container of water balloons, “You’re going down! Downtown!”

“Well, that’s Pinkie Pie just being Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Over my shirt, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight proclaimed, riding a torrent of water. Water elementals arose, summoned by the magical arcane powers of Twilight Sparkle.

“Wat.” That was all Rainbow Dash said. Fluttershy looked on, lost for words.

“Fool! Your elementals are nothing to me!” Pinkie Pie said, pointing her weapon at the hulking masses of the water minions.

“Then only the one true aqua-t-shirt warrior can walk away from this battle a victor!!” Twilight roared. Her horn lit, granting more passages for more elementals to enter into the material plain.

Pinkie Pie gave a smirk. “Bring it on!” The pinky pony dodged a jet stream of water from an elemental and shot it with a water balloon. The red balloon soaked inside the aqua marine elemental, but made collateral damage as its explosive components broke the space dimension inside. A crowd of the elementals collapsed. “Have at it!” Pinkie Pie, spinning the barrel of the gun. Red, blue, yellow, and green balloons popped out at an alarming rate, landing inside all the elementals.

The red ones exploded and collapsed the space dimension. The blue penetrated deep before making a whirlwind and shredded the elementals to pieces. The yellow gave a nasty electric shock, stunning the water golems in place. The green balloons sent them to the Shadow Realm. As if things are sent to the Shadow Realm, it means serious business. A dark green void opened, trapping many unlucky elementals.

“Oh, is that all you got?” Twilight asked, bringing up a tidal wave at Pinkie Pie at all sides. Pinkie Pie gave a grin. Before the waves crashed into each other, Pinkie Pie phased out. A gargantuan crash of the water released a shockwave, rattling the remaining elementals in place. Surprisingly, the houses of Ponyville remained intact.

Pinkie Pie phased back into the fray, but with only pink balloons in the container. “Now’s the real fight!”

The elementals collapsed, the torrent of water lowering Twilight onto the battlefield. Twilight cocked a water machine gun and aimed it at Pinkie Pie. The pinky pony did the same as well with her weapon.

“En garde!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Have at you!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Girls, the cookies are done!” Mrs. Cake said, popping her head out.

“What?!” the two mares said in disbelief, “Already?”

“This was all just for fun?!” Rainbow Dash yelled, “That build up was useless!”

“That was intense,” Fluttershy said.

“You’re not helping!”

Twilight and Pinkie Pie bounced away in their very tight small white t-shirts towards Sugarcube Corner.

“But anyway, I have to give Twilight a piece of my mind!” Rainbow Dash said, giving a snort.

“Why?” Fluttershy asked.

Applejack, a farm pony opened the door to Twilight’s library. “Twilight, it’s me, Applejack.”

“Hello Applejack,” Twilight greeted. She waved her hoof, but was multi-tasking. Writing down on the effects of lysergic acid diethylamide and if pants could cause irritation.

“You, uh, ordered apples not too long ago,” Applejack said.

Twilight looked up. “Oh, them.” All activity from her ceased. “Bring them in.”

Applejack trucked in a cart full of apples. She looked at the cart. Then at Twilight. At the cart. And then at Twilight again.

“There’s a bag of bits that’s exactly worth the amount of fifty apples,” Twilight said before Applejack could do anything. She walked over to the bag and picked it up with her mouth.

Applejack tipped her hat. “Pleasure doing business with ya’!” she said with her gritted teeth. Twilight nodded in reply. Applejack then took her leave. “Now, lysergic acid diethylamide and apples,” Twilight said, taking out a syringe and taking an apple from the basket.

Twilight gave a small sip of the Jasmine tea. She made a face. “Funky.”

“It tastes like cookies,” Pinkie Pie’s muffled voice said, with her mouth full of cookies.

“Ohai, Rainbow!” Twilight said. Her face lit up in a smile. “What’s up?”

Is she taunting me? Rainbow Dash thought. She twitched.

“And Fluttershy! Nice to see you!”

Rarity dragged herself in, wet mane, t-shirt, and all. “This is one fabulously fantastic day for some darn ole’ tea!” Looks like Rarity lost her mind.

“Why did you blow me off?” Rainbow Dash asked, getting up in Twilight’s face.

“I didn’t,” Twilight replied.

“Oh, you’re going to keep playing around like this?”

“We’re playing a game? I like games!”

“Me four!” Pinkie Pie chimed in.

“Four? Who’s the fourth one?” Rainbow Dash asked. She turned around and saw Fluttershy sit down patiently. She then looked behind her to see Rarity raising up a white t-shirt flag. “Oh.”

“Rainbow Dash was all worried about you, Twilight,” Fluttershy said, “She said you weren’t your usual self.”

“Really? I like this Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said.

“Y-You know?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed towards Pinkie Pie.

“Well, duh!”

“I think you girls know why there’s water outside everywhere,” Applejack’s voice said. The farm pony walked around Rarity and towards the rest to her friends. “What happened?”

“Twilight and I had an amazing duel!” Pinkie Pie explained.

“I-It wasn’t even a duel at all,” Rainbow Dash mumbled.

“T-Twi? You’re here already?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Already here what? I was at Sugarcube Corner the whole time!”

“But I just saw you at the library!”

“You’re probably just imagining things!” Twilight said, dismissing that remark with a wave of her hoof.

“I guess… so.”

“You might’ve just seen her,” Twilight said, taking a bite of a cookie, “We’re not on good terms right now.”

“What? Who?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Twilight frowned. “Just a spell split us apart. We used to be together, and now we’re not.”

“You mean there’s another Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight pouted. “Yeah, but I don’t know why you want to see her…”

A green and purple reptile was face planted into the ground while Twilight above took notes. “So lysergic acid diethylamide makes one pass out,” she said, scribbling it down, “And that was quite a dosage too.”

The foundation gave a small rumble, but Twilight was unphased by it. However, a rainbow light crashed into the library. With a sudden crash like lightning, Rainbow Dash shattered the window, but mended instantly.

Twilight gave a tsk and a nasty glare. “What do you want now?” she asked, shuffling her research away.

“I know what you are!” Rainbow Dash said, pointing her hoof with hostility.

“Oh, I’m a unicorn, a mythical and mystical creature that are found in legends!” Twilight exclaimed with false excitement. She fluttered her eyes with a fake smile. It soon dropped to a frown. “Whatever you need, make it quick, I have work to do.”

Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity walked in gingerly. They became dumbfounded when they saw the darker hue of Twilight.

“What?” the unicorn said.

Pinkie Pie and light Twilight bounced in, instantly infuriating the dark one. “What did I tell you from not disturbing me?!”

Light Twilight looked hurt. “Hey, don’t look at me! Like I really wanted to come here.”

The rest of the Mane Six gave each other looks.

“Uh, Twilight,” Rarity said, “Is this-”

“Her?? the dark Twilight asked, giving a bored look, “We are her. We are Twilight.”

“Yes, but-”

Rarity was interrupted again. “It’s so obvious,” dark Twilight said with a sneer, “Should I draw out a dia-”

“Left brain, don’t be mean!” light Twilight interjected, “It’s rude to talk when other ponies are talking.”

“Ironic,” left brain, the dark Twilight replied.

Rarity gave a snort, already malicious towards the darker shade of Twilight.

“Left brain?” Applejack said questionably, “Right brain?” Both Twilights looked over. “Ya’ll two are, uh, brains?”

“We established that fact from the start,” left brain replied, “10 out of 10 for observation.”

“I-I’m-We’re just confused in what’s happenin’ right now,” Applejack said.

Left brain gave a groan. Right brain raised an eyebrow. At that moment, a green light crept inside. A bright white light shone over the two Twilights. Then a voice spoke.

“This is Twilight Sparkle,” a firm voice stated, displaying the lavender unicorn. The two Twilights looked up at the picture, along with all the other ponies.

“Hey, that’s me!” right brain pointed out.

“That’s us, numbskull,” left brain replied with a sigh.

The disembodied voice above continued on. “Her neurological functions spilt her complex brain in half.” The image of Twilight divided in two, one darker and the other a lighter hue.

“This is Twilight’s left brain,” the voice said. The light concentrated on the darker Twilight. “Objective, logical, cold, analytical, aware of patterns, aware of trends,” the voice continued, “She’s efficient and a bitch.” Left brain scoffed.

“This is Twilight’s right brain,” the voice said as the light switched over to the lighter color of Twilight. “Subjective, creative, sensory, aware of feelings, aware of ponies. She’s emotional.”

Right brain gave a giant smile. “Yep!”

“And a moron.”

“That’s your opinion, disembodied voice,” right brain said cheerfully, “Just be careful with them!”

“What did you do with the real Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked, flying up to be head-on with the light.

“What you see now is Twilight. Pieces of her, but Twilight nonetheless,” the voice said, “Her personality is halved. The parts of Twilight you never saw.”

“That helps a lot,” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically.

“Thank you,” the voice replied.

The light died down, where the green mist promptly went out the window. “Alright, that was useless!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, descending from the ceiling.

“It’s just you,” left brain replied with a smirk, “You can’t handle information that simple.”

“What was that?!” Rainbow Dash said, getting up in the darker Twilight’s face.

“You’re deaf too. What to hear from a flyer.”

“Want a go at it, you-”

“Take it easy,” Applejack said, walking in between them, “There must be some way to return things to normal,” she said, pushing back the two, “Right?”

“Didn’t that voice say something about these Twilights to have each of their own unique characteristics?” Rarity asked.

“Just call her ‘Miss Butthurt’,” right brain said, “That’s her unique characteristic.” She promptly pointed at her dark counterpart, left brain.

“That’s a title, a name; not a characteristic, idiot,” dark Twilight snapped.

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” light Twilight said, sticking her tongue out.

“Wait, if they’re brains, are they thinking on what they’re doing or are their thoughts displayed right now?” Fluttershy asked amidst the fray.

“You ask the real questions, Fluttershy,” Pinkie Pie said. She then slid up to left brain. “But Twilight and I need to finish our duel!”

“What duel?” the dark unicorn scowled, “I don’t see any ground you’re standing on for us to clash our swords!”

“You’re standing on the floor, silly!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, “Oh wait! Gosh, is this a riddle? I love riddles!”

“I like her,” right brain said with a bright smile.

“Okay, ground. Swords,” Pinkie Pie said, holding up a rapier, “Sword. Ground. Ground. Sword.”

She stuck the sharp blade in the floor of the library. “I got nothing,” she said, “Your riddles are hard.”

“Because they’re not even riddles!!” left brain said, turning red, “They’re figures of speech!”

“The only figures in my speech are words, left brain,” right brain taunted, “Have you figured it out?”

Pinkie Pie and the light Twilight gave each other high hooves and snickered, leaving right brain baffled.

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots,” the dark Twilight said, taking a seat on the floor.

“I got an idea!” Applejack said, clapping her hooves together. “Brain!” she said, pointing to right brain. However, she didn’t know which brain. “Me?” the bright Twilight asked, who had an arm around Pinkie Pie.

“Yes, you. You’re creative and sensory, right?” she asked, taking a wild guess.

“Yes.”

“And you, the other one. Objective and logical?” Applejack asked towards left brain.

“The one and only,” right brain muttered, “The only logical one.”

Applejack ignored that comment. “I don’t know why you two are like this, but I think I have the solution.”

“And what is that?” right brain asked.

“I think you two have to work on a problem together,” Applejack stated, “You girls are only half of each other.”

“And what problem do we have to work on?”

“Well, we could use more than a few helping hoof at the farm.”

“First, how is this going to help us?” right brain asked, tugging at the plow around her neck.

“I hate to agree with you,” left brain said wth remorse, “But yes, how?”

“I just took the liberty to cut a plow in half for you two to work with,” Applejack explained as she hauled out a wide plow. “Two ponies need to plow this at the time. It was designed for it.”

“You’re telling me that the farm labor is going to help us… how again?” left brain asked, trying to find the logic.

“No more questions! Get plowing!” Applejack said proudly.

At the front of a field of soil, left and right brain looked at each other. The lighter color of Twilight, right brain started speaking. “Okay. Together. We need to do this together.”

Left brain nodded. “I just want to get this over with.”

The two looked at the long field in front of them. Then they started walking, weaving out the soil behind them. Right brain looked over to left brain’s hooves and mimicked the rate of steps. Soon, they were synchronized.

“Huh.” Rainbow Dash said, giving a look. “It actually worked.”

“Of course it does,” Applejack said, “Big Mac and I did the same thing they’re doing right now. That’s why we’re on good terms!”

Left brain gave a tsk. “This is too inefficient!”

Right brain gave a sigh. “This is too boring!”

“Need to make it faster!”

“Need to make it fun!”

Left brain used her magic to enchant the cart and went on a full sprint. Right also used her magic, but levitated. She soon went into the skies and started to carve out the plow lines with high concentrated beams.

Applejack gave a weak chuckle. “Uh. Well. That didn’t work out.”

“I have an idea,” Fluttershy jumped in.

“Right brain, you like to be creative,” the yellow pegasus said.

She gave a nod in reply.

“Now, describe to me what you’re thinking.”

Right brain looked around the barnhouse and blinked. She stared at the wooden grains, the dry hay. She took in observation that she felt. With that, she took in a deep breath.

“Feces,” she replied.

The barnhouse fell silent.

“Ah, nature’s cemetery! But instead of the dead staying dead, it reuses itself!” Fluttershy said happily, “Isn’t nature fascinating?”

“Uh, you, left brain?” Applejack said, moving along with the idea.

“The barnhouse as I can see is really old. I see good stability with excellent support beams above. It’s made of deciduous wood,” left brain stated, “However, there’s a few flaws in the main beam. There’s erosion taking place. I advise you to change it. Along with erosion, there’s holes from powderpost beetles.”

No sound gripped again.

"I'm terribly sorry to intrude, but how is this going to help them again?" Rarity asked.

"I hoped for them to think together," Fluttershy said, “It’s going wonderfully!”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash interjected, “But it was as useful as Applejack’s.”

“I’m glad I’m contributing!” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“I just want to settle the score,” Pinkie Pie said, giving a playful glare towards right brain.

The subjective pony got low and wagged her tail. Her horn lit up and gave a grin. Pinkie Pie returned the same gesture, but pulled out a water balloon launcher instead.

“Can’t you two do this later?” left brain asked, looking at the two bright ponies. “There’s more to do than just play.”

“Oh, c’mon, left brain. It’s called living life to the fullest. It’s fun!” right brain replied, “You should try it!”

Left brain gave a scoff. “I would rather not waste time and water with the act you two are putting up with.”

“Don’t be watered down,” Pinkie Pie said, earning a snigger from right brain, “And we’re not putting up anything at all. I have a few posters though.”

“C-Can you not understand language?” right brain replied, unamused.

“I understand everything perfectly!” Pinkie Pie said, puffing her chest out proudly.

Left brain didn’t believe that. “Keep telling yourself that,” she said.

A sound at the giant doors caught the attention of all the mares. Big Mac stood with a basket in his mouth. “Big Mac, what do you have there?” Applejack said, walking over to him. Due to his mouth being full, only muffles escaped from his mouth.

“Apple pies?” Applejack asked.

Big Mac placed the basket on the ground. “Eeyup.”

“For us?”

“Eeyup.”

The stallion saw two Twilights and was about to say something.

“Wondering about them?”

“Eeyup.”

“You can see why we’re in the barn.”

“Eeyup.”

“We’re trying to figure out what happened.”

“Huh.”

Right brain suddenly blushed. She sheepishly gave a goofy smile and let out a giggle. Left brain shushed her, but that didn’t help. “Hey, Big Mac,” right brain said flirtatiously.

Left brain tackled her opposite to the ground. “Keep quiet!” she hushed.

However, all right brain did was look towards the red stallion and purred. “He just has a nice ass,” she whispered quietly.

“You’re letting your instinct get a hold of you! That attraction is a trigger for repopulation!” left brain whispered back.

Unfortunately, everyone could hear everything they were saying.

Big Bac didn’t know what to say to that comment. He began to sweat profusely when right brain broke away from left brain. She zipped up to Big Mac and hit her flank on his.

“Want to go out sometime, big boy?” she asked.

Left brain popped and dragged her away. “Please stop this,” she said, “You know that she doesn’t want them to know!”

The light Twilight scoffed. “You have to get it loose sometime!”

“Just be in form! It’s tough when you’re checking him out!” left brain hissed.

The others were unsure what to do. Big Mac was planted to the ground and stood still. His mane was wet from the sweat and his whole body shook.

“Oh, I know that you don’t like to talk to boys,” right brain replied with her tongue out.

“T-Talk? W-With boys?” left brain’s face turned red, “I-I can’t do that!”

“You always dive into reading just because of your wimpy fear,” right brain said, “C’mon! Be adventurous!”

“I… I can’t.”

It was right brain’s turn to drag around her cold counterpart. She placed left brain in front of Big Mac. “Just start a casual conversation! A one-on-one!”

All left brain and Big Mac do was give each other awkward eye contacts and look away.

“What do we do?” Rainbow Dash whispered to the others.

“I suggest we just wait,” Fluttershy replied nonchalantly, “I just have this auspicious feeling that we just need to be patient.”

Rainbow Dash gave a “Pffft” in reply. “You really think so?”

“I agree with Fluttershy,” Pinkie Pie chimed in, “I have the feeling too.”

“Left brain, just talk!” right brain said, “It isn’t that hard!”

“I-I haven’t planned to talk…” left brain said sheepishly.

“You really don’t plan this stuff, y’know,” right brain said, ushering left brain closer towards the stallion.

Left brain looked up and blushed, seeing Big Mac’s eyes. “Uh,” she said, “He-Hello…”

Suddenly, the two Twilights exploded in light. Left brain, the calm and orderly one turned into a black and white color. Right brain, the creative and outgoing one turned into all sorts of colors. The two blended together, merging the old Twilight they once knew.

“Ahh!!” Twilight screamed, jumping up from the ground. She began to shiver and sweat. “What happened?” she frantically asked, “It feels like my brain let out a few-”

Her eyes landed on Big Mac and the words from her mouth crumbled and shattered. She began to stutter. Applejack pushed Big Mac out. “Uh, thanks for the apple pies!” she said, heaving her older brother out.

“D-Did you tell her that-” Big Mac began.

“Of course I didn’t!” Applejack replied, interrupting him, “I would never do that to you!”

In the barn, Twilight collapsed to her floor. “We need to resume the duel,” Pinkie Pie said, pulling out a pair of shades and a gatling water balloon gun.

And so, in the place of Ponyville which resides in Equestria, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle had a deathmatch that would determine the outcome of the wet t-shirt contest. Who am I you ask? The narrator of course! Oh, and if you’re wondering, Twilight and Big Mac made lots of babies due to please your sickening and beautiful mind. If you would like me to do so, I can recite the sex they had for your erotic fantasies. But hey, we’re running out of time!

Now, get outside and enjoy the feeling of air on your skin! That’s what right brain would’ve said! Or was that left brain? I don’t know.

End

Author's Note

This was one one-shot that was crawling in my mind. So I wrote it.