The tales of bad oc land.

by Dat Juan Pon3y

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Original Character
Length: 4344

today, we gonna murder some fuckers.

This story is just completely dedicated to the murdering of terrible original characters, in some very very weird ways. All of those stories with ponies that just made your mind melt, all those paragraphs with the worst things in them (yes those things are the things i'm talking about. No, not those things, those things. Theeeere you go.), those stories that you want to kill, all are going to die. Horribly.

Published 2014-08-05 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-06 01:53:53 UTC

A place?

Author's Note

This is my first fanfic and it will most likely SUCK. I am not a good writer at all. AT ALL. So if you could help me out here and tell me what you honestly think of it, i can know whether i should just end my writing before i burn somepony elses eyes, or continue as normal.

A place?

Blade kept walking, as he always did. He would have stopped, except for the fact that he was in a very creepy forest. It wasn't the forest he was afraid of though, it was the Unicorns. Not too long ago, a group of Unicorns surprise attacked him and almost had him captured. And he would have been, if his mane wasn't as sharp as his blades. The encounter made a lot of noise and he knew more would be there soon to recover the dead bodies.

Oh right. You're wondering about blade huh? Well if you could stop for a minute and let me type, maybe I could fakin tell you! ANYWAYS... Blade grew up in a very, very cruel place. It is nothing like the place you and I live in. In that place, Unicorns are considered gods, Pegasi kings, earth ponies peasnants, yada yada yada. Oh right. And the alicorns are beaten, tortured, and if they are lucky, they get to spend their entire life as a slave until their 13th birthday, which on they are killed in public.

Blade was raised in a dojo where the best of assassins were made. Ever heard of any? Exactly. They are masters of killing and stealth, and are the coldest of the cold hearted. Blade was no different from any of the other assassins, except he is an alicorn. He is a great flyer but does not know many spells ( Considering his sensei is a earth pony he is doing extremely well ) and is always on the run. Now back to the story.

Blade knew he couldn't stop or he would risk getting found. And if he got found... NO. I WILL NOT THINK LIKE THAT. Blade forced himself to concentrate on more walking and less publically dying. after a couple hours or so he saw something glimmering up ahead. It looked like a portal of some kind. Blade stayed there for less than a minute before hearing somepony say
"MDG OUT!"'
( an MDG is a magic disabling grenade.) Blade only by reflex jumped through the portal before the grenade exploded, closing the portal and leaving the unicorns behind.

Blade took a look around before he quickly put his utility belt into a saddle bag and covered his wings so they were no longer visible.i cannot let anypony know i am an alicorn. He thought to himself. I need to either find a place to hide or keep running. When he was finished, he took a good look at his surroundings. He was stunned when he saw the happy community of Ponyville.

Secrets

Blade was utterly shocked when he arrived in Ponyville. There was unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies all living side by side. Where blade came from, if a earth pony even got near a unicorn, it was instant death. And another thing, everypony was happy. Litterally everpony. Blade came to his senses after couple of minutes of staring and realized that if somepony caught him staring it would jepordize his position.

Blade didn't take five steps before Pinkie showed up.

"Hitheremynameispinkiepieandi'msooooooohappytomeetyou!yoiumustnotbefromaroundherebecausei'veneverseenyoubefo-"

Pinkie gasped and ran the other direction. Blade blinked a couple of times. Never in his life had he heard a pony talk that fast before. Was she even speaking english? And why did she run away? Blade just shook his head a couple of times before heading into the town to find supplies. He had all the bits he needed thanks to his sensei. He just hoped he wouldn't run into anymore ponies before he could find a place to sleep.

After Blade finished getting supplies he decided to look around the town. He didn't find anything too interesting besides a farm, a bakery, and a library. He liked the sound of a nice and secluded farm. He would have to check that out later. As for the baker, well he was already eating a cupcake. After you've been on the road for days, a cupcake is like being royalty. The most interesting thing he found the was the library. He needed to study magic as much as possible while he was here so he would be better prepared when he ran into trouble. He finished his cupcake and started walking there.

Blade finally got to the library and knocked on the door. A purple unicorn opened the door and greeted him with a big smile.

"Hi there! My name is Twilight Sparkle.Can i help you?"
Twilight asked nicely. Blade had used the only spell he knew to cast a voice altering spell on himself and asked in a robotic like voice.
"Do you happen to have any magic books by chance?"
Twilight looked slightly confused by his voice for a second but then her face brightened up and said,
"Well of course! what type of magic books are you looking for?"
Blaze took a minute to respond.
"I need magic on the subject of fighting,"
He said as carefully as he could,
"Fighting and healing."
Twilight asked nicely,
"What level?"
Blade just sat there with a blank expression. "I'll just read you're power level and see." Twilights horn lit up and a harmless laser hit Blades horn. It was gone in an instant and twilight looked very impressed. "You have the power of an alicorn!" she exclaimed. "That is incredible! So how much magic training have you had to get there?" Before Blade could think about he replied,
"None. Actually I was hoping I could get help from somepony to learn it."
Twilight looked like she was going to burst of excitement.
"If you want i could teach you. Come back for your first lesson."

He thanked her and left. After he got outside he realized how weird it was that the library was closing in broad daylight. He kept that thought in the back of his mind as he walked into the town square without noticing. He was about to head to the outskirts of the farm when suddenly he hear a group of ponies exclaim,
"SURPRISE!"
Confetti fell from the sky and the pink pony from earlier was there. So was the librarian and a couple other of ponies.

Blade of course by habit threw a smokescreen and disappeared. He didn't stop running until he was far from town. Then he took of the covers from his wings and covered his horn. He flew up into the sky and landed on a cloud. He shoved his head deep inside, knowing he had made a huge mistake. If he went back there they would ask. He KNEW they would ask. But he had to keep his secret hidden. His covering on his horn felt loose so he undid it. Right before he put it on he noticed a draft coming from beside him. He thought nothing of it until he heard the voice.
"Hey there," said a reasonably sized dragon floating beside him. "You look like you could use help with a secret or two."

Author's Note

whale. i finished chapter two. As you can already see, I don't really have the patients of great writers. I can make chapters in an instant, but they are going to be short.
also, a few things you need to know:
I am not going to make twilight an Alicorn because she knows magic the best in ponyville and she would be to busy with royal duties to help blade learn magic.
Spike is a teenage dragon finally but he does still live with twilight

Dragon trouble.

Blade didn't waste a second. He flew straight up as fast as he could. He heard the sound of the dragon following close behind. Blade suddenly stopped flying and started falling in an attempt to shake the dragon off. It seemed useless as his opponent seemed to be a much better flyer than him.

Blade heard his opponent call out, "Wait! I just wanna talk to you!" Blade had heard that same line many many times before. And they had been all lies. Those memories brought a sense of rage to Blade and he found himself reaching for his weapons. He didn't want to engage in combat, not in the view anypony at least. He wildly turned and flew straight for the forest.

After a couple minutes of flying above the forest, Blade saw a cave below him in the side of a mountain. He dove straight for it, gaining much more speed than he anticipated. He tried to slow but it was too late. He crashed into the cave floor and slid until he hit a wall. Blade clenched his jaw and tried to stand, only to fall to the ground. He faintly heard the dragon enter the cave.

"Are you okay? It looked like you crashed pretty hard." Blade only faintly heard the dragon speak before he blacked out. Spike just looked at the pony on the cave floor trying to think of what he should do. He decided to make sure he didn't have any broken bones or anything first, which to Spikes luck he didn't. After that Spike picked him up and carried him over his shoulder as he flew back to Ponyville. He was surprisingly heavy for a pegasus. Halfway through the flight Blade woke up. Spike tried to say hello which earned him a kick to the face. He grabbed his face and let go of Blade, who flew away in a very quick like fashion. "Not again," Spike said as he flew towards Blade.

Blade was already plenty far from Spike when he tried to go back to the cave. It was getting darker so he would need to get there fast. His headache hurt a lot worse when he was flying, but all that mattered to him right now was escaping. He couldn't let that dragon get to him. After all, that dragon was from the the rulers army. Probably a new recruit trying to get a higher rank or earn honor or something like that. He knew the minute he caught him he would either kill him or take him back to the ruler. Blade finally found the cave and hurried inside only to find himself pulling his weapons out. In front of him was another dragon, along with two unicorns, and boy did they look angry.

Author's Note

I just can't wait to see all of your comments about chapter three. /)^-^(\

More dragon trouble?

Blade only had moments before the first unicorn could make a move. Blade threw a shuriken that sliced his throat. The unicorn was in shock and only managed to grab at his throat before falling to the ground. The two dragons and one remaining unicorn didn't so much as flinch at the sight it. The unicorns horn lit up and the two dragons moved forward, blades sharp and glinting in the moonlight. Blade pulled out his katana, and extended his wings.

Blade easily could block the two dragons thrusts, but he also noticed that they were very experienced. Too experienced in fact. Blade saw that the unicorn was charging up a spell, and it seemed like it would be ready any second. Throwing a smoke bomb, he flew over the dragons and lunged at the unicorn, only to find that it was too late. The unicorn used it spell, causing the alicorn to fall to the ground in searing pain. Blade knew for a fact that his attackers were not part of the royal army. They were too trained to be a part of that. The last thing that he saw before he passed out was one last flying towards the cave.

Spike landed in the cave to see two dragons about his size and one unicorn arguing about something.
"I am the leader of you two and i say we kill him right now!"

"Well what if we do kill him and we bring his head back, what will he think about that?"

"You know, I really have to agree with dumb ass over here for once."

"What did you just say to me?"

"If you two fight one more time I'm going to-"

"I SAID, I have to agree with DUMB ASS."

"Oh helllllllllllllllllllll no."

"What you gonna do about it dumb ass?"

"You are fucked now, bitch!"

"Bring it motherfucker!"

"I hate you both."

Spike just watched as the two dragons went at it with their swords. He noticed the alicorn on the ground along with a dead unicorn. The remaining unicorn tried to stop the two dragons only to get slashed across the face. Spike quickly decided that it would be better if he waited for the battle to be over.

The unicorn held his cut and walked over to Blade. He took away the his utility belt and other hidden weapons away. He then put that in a small pile and started a spell. A portal like thing started to form, and on the other side was a view of the forest. It didn't look like it was too deep in, ponyville wasn't that far in the back of the image. The spell was almost done when one of the dragons let out an ear shattering roar.

The battle seemed as if it was over. One of the dragons had a blade lodge in its head, and the others had a blade through its heart. Both dragons fell to the ground at the same time, blood spilling onto the ground. The unicorns concentration broke and it finally noticed Spike. The unicorns horn lit up and Spike, after thinking about what he should do next, had gotten a sword from on of the dead dragons. Holding it awkwardly with both hands even though it was a one handed blade, he faced the unicorn with it in his claws.

Author's Note

This chapter is really short but i wanted to write a chapter before i started my new job so I did this one really quickly.
A big thanks to everyone who liked the story even favorited and my one and only follower! You guys are awesome!

The evil six

Spike went ham on that unicorn, and when I say ham, I mean ham. He went slashing furiosouly, left and right, up and down, east west and south all at once combined and to inifinty and beyond! The unicorn was so cut so badly because spike is really cool you know so he would win anyways.

Spike then ended the fight with the word, "Buck yea." He picked up Blade, whom he suddenly cared nothing about and fliw bak to pony ville. (proceed to read this in a Bear Grill type of voice for best outcome.) Right as he landed, the mane six, who are now super evil, punched him in his fucking face. All at once. And spike didn't really give a fuck. All at once. He then killed blade and pissed on his dead body, which remimded him of a flashback.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
spike lost all of his memory because he is now dead. the mane six killed him just now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back over~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE MANE SIX then proceed to go to celestia and call her a fucking prick, which got them exiled until they killed her, WHICH concludes this chapter of No place for assassins.

The Crystal Empire.

The evil six were now becoming very aware that the other ponies were being frightened by their doings. They decided it would be best if the did something moderately good for once instead of going to bad oc land and killing people with coke bottles. The death total was high enough as is. And thats the day the crystal empire mysteriously disappeared.

After arriving at the train station, Twilight Sparkle noticed that something was missing. The girls sat there for about thirty minutes trying to figure out what it was. ( As you can see, the evil six are not that bright.) Then Pinkie Pie announced, "I think that we should be getting a move on in the invisible empire already!"

Rainbow Dash was very confused. "Pinkie, what invisible empire?"

"The one thats supposed to be right in front of us silly!"

The girls then walked on the path to where the crystal empire should have been, only to be pushed to the ground by a magical barrier. Rainbow took to the air, and tried to use a sonic rainboom to go through it, only to be flung straight into bad oc land, where she had to fight off all of the original characters (who had been made into zombies by a survivor) with her awesomeness.

Next Pinkie Pie made it a cake. Absolutely nothing happened. After that Applejack bucked it, and it bucked back leaving her with a big bruise covering her cutie mark. Rarity made no attempt to get through it, as she may get dirt on her hooves. Twilight decided to use her magic, so she went ham on that bitch. She started firing lasers, then went Naruto style and made clones who made clones who made clones who made clones who made clones who did indeed make clones, until the barrier was outnumbered 500 to 1. They then proceeded to fire lasers at the barrier, which fell instantly.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND OBLITORATED THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE. NICE JOB.

The girls then decided to head home after making sure that nopony survived. Even though it was subtle they did notice a slight change in the moons feature. It was smiling.

Author's Note

SUCESSFUL CHAPTER OF FUCKING OFF IN EQUESTRIA.

ITS HESKEY TIME

MEANWHILE IN A PLACE oh for fucks sake i'm on a schedule here just read yo damn story

Twilight Sparkle and her friends were teleporting to bad OC land when she got distracted and they ended up in a new realm. A FIFA14 realm. Before any of them could ask any questions a loud whistle went off and there was a bunch of strange creatures running after a ball. Before long, they heard a voice without a body shout, "ITS HESKEY TIME!" They then proceeded to hear a song that made absolutely no sense.

After the end of the song which Twilight could find absolutely no books about, they finally teleported to bad oc land to find the one and only worst oc in the world, THE MOTHER OF ALL FUCKERS, THE GUY WHO SHOULDVE CHOOSEN MORE WISELY ABOUT MAKING A GOD DAMNED OP ALICORN, YEA THATS RIGHT, BLADE. just. fucking. blade.

i just can't even.. this, oh my god/ i am running out of ideas. Well fuck. well there does have to be a slaughter of some sort per chapter so

BLADE SUMMONED ZEUS, BUT DAMN WAS THAT NIGGA PISSED. ZEUS AS YOU ALL KNOW IS GAY SO HE DRAGGED BLADE THAT MOTHER FUCKER DOWN TO TARTARUS TO FOREVER BE RAPED BY FAT MONSTERS WITH MICROSCOPIC DICKS. NOT MICROSCOPIC ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT JUST ENOUGH TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU KNOW LIKE THE WORST SIZE POSSIBLE. OKAY I'M JUST GONNA TURN MY CAPS off and stop typing now.

Killing with Coke.... a cola. coke a cola. not to be confused with the drug coke, but the drink coke a cola...... yea......

After shoving the sixth coke bottle up Blades ass, the six became tired with the game, shove the coke bottle up blades ass. They then ventured through a magical portal that led to bad oc land, featuring controller skies, whom they brutally killed with lots of coke a cola. May zeldafand rest in piece(s)... or figure out how to delete an Fimfiction account.

They then realized Luna had banished herself to the moon to avoid being killed. They knew they couldn't get to the moon yet, so they settled for sacrificing Fluttershy to the everlasting gods of terrible original characters. They got their sharpest coke bottle and opened it so furiously THAT IT DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. AT ALL. COKE CANNOT FUCKING KILL THINGS. so they shoved the bottle down fluttershy's throat and called it good

UNTILL NEXT TIME ON FUCKING UP MY FRIENDS STORY

FUCKIN AROUND IN EQUESTRIA N STUFF

HEY YOU GUUUUUUUUUUYS

So since i can't get my story passed by moderators for it does not commit to the Fimfiction standards, I am going to use this story for my story since the new chapters don't have to pass moderation. Thank you for your time, likes, comments and damn did Assasinpony bring that dislike bar up. which ever way the bar goes, the only thing that matter is that blade is dead. Just fucking dead. Damn him to the deepest pits of hell along with all of those other 'Op oc's'. Actually i don't really care that much about blade being dead but you guys sure as hell do! Now i should stop rambling and get on with the chapter but remember, every chapter is a new day, a new story, a new thing to do. Comment what you want the evil six to do next! anything is possible! even reviving Blade but i don't reccomend that. Anyways enjoy this random chapter of the story which i am from now on calling, FUCKING AROUND IN EQUESTRIA! have fun everyone~!

so like all of the ponies n stuff gathered around for the sun summer celebration n stuff when suddenly a group of murderers and stuff came and started murdering them n stuff when princess celestia came and stuff n was all like nooooo stahp n stuff so the royal guards n stuff killed all of the murderers and stuff then they suicided and stuff and the twilight and her friends got there n stuff and was all like lol n stuff then princess luna came n stuff and took selfies n stuff. the end n stuff.

Bad OCland. Yes that is it's official name.

MEANWHILE, IN BAD OCLAND

Rainbowdash was fighting off wave after wave of the undead original characters, when SUDDENLY a certain survivor rushed to her side. All of the zombies stopped, pointed and laughed. Then they laughed some more. So then they laughed even harder. By now their lungs had turned into a black hole, begging for more air. Then what next? The survivor ran off to his house. Rainbowdash followed after him, knowing exactly who it was.

About ten minutes later, Rainbowdash arrived at the characters house. She knocked on the door, only to hear sobbing. She quietly flew in to avoid making noises and found the survivor crying on his bed. When he saw her he almost stopped in that instant. He quietly asked her, "What are you doing here?" Rainbowdash quickly grabbed a coke she had in her saddle back and was about to shove it brutally down his throat when she had a slight, evil thought. She then flew to get a certain paper she needed.

When she returned, hayeso had stopped crying. She then took the test paper and showed it to hayeso who started crying at the sight of it. Ripping it in two, she shoved one half down hayeso's throat and the other she used to slit his throat. She then left the rest of the work to his previous classmates who she had rounded up for a 'special occasion'

Author's Note

Remember people, I don't know every bad oc in the world, so if you found a story or a character that makes you want to throw your computer across the room, since your no longer able to use it because half your mind is melted, just leave a link or something like that in the comment, and leave the rest of it to me. Thanks!

Nobody gives a fuck

Blade. Just fucking Blade. No literally. If you read last chapter, you would know that Blade was actually in tartarus getting brutally fucked my monsters. But they got bored so now a copy of Blade was fucking Blade. So when I say just fucking Blade, I'm serious. ANYWAYS. Blade, after his fifth month in tartarus, killed himself. Not him him, but the other him. You know the one right there that's dead not the one who killed that one but the one who got killed by the one who killed that one.

After killing Blade, Blade went up to the computer and got on a certain site called fimfiction. He messaged Dat Juan Pon3y and begged for another oc to be killed. Dat Juan Pon3y told him okay. I think we all know what is going to happen next. Dis is fo you, ~~Assasinpony you terrible self inserting motherfucker~~ Blade.

Blade went straight up to Zeus and punched that motherfucker in the face. Hard. Zeus didn't give a fuck. He was busy watching Emile Heskey play soccer. Oh sorry, FAIL soccer. Blade was pissed. Blade went to the moon and begged Luna to kill Zeus. Luna didn't give a fuck. Blade brought Princess Celestia back from the dead and begged her to kill Luna. She didn't give a fuck and seemed to be pissed at some certain ponies. Blade fixed the Crystal empire and begged Princess Cadence to kill Princess Celestia. She didn't give a fuck. Blade got Shining Armor drunk and asked him to kill Princess Cadence. He ~~didn't give a fuck~~ did. Blade realized that he needed a new pony to whine and beg to. He went to the evil six and asked them to kill shining armor. They killed him and started a new game of "How many coke bottles can fit in Blades ass"

Afterwards they went back to Canterlot to fuck shit up... again.