Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
It was an uneventful day in ponyville, the town was relatively quiet aside from a young couple on a roof going at it. I mean really going to town. No one was a bored as Discord the fuck up, who was high on heroin and jacking off in an alley. Ever since Chaos had been banned from Equestria, shit wasn’t as tight anymore. Because Discord had no job security, he was forced to suck pennies that colts stuck in their dickholes. If he could suck out any of the coins, he could keep them. Discord sighed. He looked down at his own dick, massive compared to others, and admired the sight as he rubbed. He reached with his free hand for a bottle of baby oil beside him and gently poured it contents into his nostrils.
“Aww, yes. Come to papa.” Discord said as he became high quite quickly.
It was hard being different. Some ponies would stop and call him names. One pony approached him and shit on his cock. He was grateful for that, but most of the time he was lonely. He took up a side job to make end’s meat. He would stick out his end and wait for meat. Today was a slow day with not many customers. Discord held his stomach as he felt the implications of a painful shit later.
“Great…can my life get any worse?”
Little did he know that his whole life was absolute shit and nothing would change that. He stared towards the sky and closed his eyes. Tears fell from his face onto the pavement. This had been rock bottom. Having others rock his bottom.
Suddenly. He heard a scream. He thought he was having a night terror as he looked around, but continued to hear a faint scream. It began to get louder. He looked up and to his surprise; he saw a speck falling very fast, and begun to increase in size. (unlike his dick heuheuheu). He was startled to see that as the speck came closer, he could make out the outline of my body. Then it hit him. A kick to the nuts. A young colt laughed as he ran to a group of friends near the entrance of the alley. Discord toppled over in ecstacy and cried. He looked faintly at the speck and time slowed. He saw no longer an outline of a body, but an angel of golden flax hair.
Her beauty cascaded the air around her, her lips red as flames, and her eyes as blue as the timid ocean below the night sky. He was breathless.
“UGHGHHIUGIHGIUGAHIDGIHIH” The girl screamed as she fell 200 mph towards the earth.
Discord hurried to his feet in an attempt to catch the fair maiden, but trip, fell, and landed on his dick. The woman fell onto a stack of boards with nails. She rolled over onto the jizz covered concrete and moaned.
“uhh….bakkuuu….”
Discord was shocked. He immediately ran over to the woman and stood above her. He started to masturbate.
She opened her eyes and made a disgusted face.
“Ugh, what the hell are you!” She cried.
“I’m discord the fuck up, who are you?” he said still jacking off over her.
“I’m kirasitity chitoge and why are you jerking off in public?! You can’t do that in public!”
“Oh, I'll show YOU what we SHOULD be doing out in public. Imma pop a glock in yo mouth and make a brain slushy!” replied Discord, as he released his grip on his dick, stood up violently, and roared into the heavens.
Other people always go for the bigger
Did you see
I have to kill it before
“W-Wait a minute, Diswhore. If I'm right here, and you're right there, then that means..”
“Teeth?”
Chitoge farts.
“Discord, you do realize what you have done, right?”
An ominous, evil dark aura suddenly begins to form and envelop around Chitoge. Discord can only watch in horror and confusion.
“W-What is this sudden juicy sandwich?!” he asks.
Chitoge begins to laugh a lot of ketchup. Expired blanket poopier.
“This is impossible!” Discord yells as Chitoge continues to build up her kinetic energy. “You have made one mistake! You forgot to take out the trash, you burrito!”
Chitoge vomits. Deteriorating banana oil.
Discord farts.
Put it aside it over there
Please
Yes, we did.
Flying cells of utmost pepeka.
Chitoge then grows a huge pickle penis just underneath her armpit. Discord's face goes from being horrified to being completely aroused.
He had been waiting for this.
“P-Please, Chitoge-san...P-Please...Put-Put that juicy fucking pickle inside of my right nostril!”
Chitoge blushes.
“O-Of course, mayonnaise! I will! I will!”
It was love. Love at first face-fuck.
Chitoge hesitates not as she runs over to Disporn, climbs up his chest to meet his face, raises her right arm, and fucking shoves her pickle penis inside of Discord's right nostril.
He snots insanely. This was much better than constantly fapping to those cursed baby ponies that were only good for eating out of a cup of sewer manure.
Her pit thrusts became stronger and stronger.
Suddenly, Discord picks Chitoge up by her hips, and, with full fucking force, throws her onto the ground, creating a giant crater of nothing but an exploded body of blood and gore.
“I-I have WON.” he shouts as he raises his arms into the air as if to show his power.
Dispoor farts.
Suddenly, much to his surprise, the lifeless body parts of Chitoge miraculously began to reattach themselves to form her true self once again.
“That was a giant mistake, I might say. Admiral Genome will not be pleased with you, Dishorde.”
Discord farts.
“I-Please forgive me, Shitoge! I was just trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together so that I could finally learn the toaster ways of the ungreat toilets in the last centuries of all the ponies of Mars!”
Unfortunately, Discord dies.
“I'm not a robot” Chitoge says.
Discord had done it. All his life, he had been waiting for this chance. The chance to rise against the established order, and take over all of Ponyville.
The only thing that was stopping him?
The lack of having sex with that anime character. Now that he had done it, though, he was finally able to overthrow Ponyville, and was planning on doing just that.
