All That Sparkles

Eleven Months Later...

Twilight Sparkle rushed down the nearly empty hall of the Canterlot General Hospital’s maternity ward, her wings flapping as her hooves flew across the tiles. As she advanced down the hallway, she saw her father pacing in front of one of the doors at the very end. Smiling, she sped up, her hooves leaving the floor as she glided over towards her father, safely on her wings.

“Hey dad!” Twilight said far more loudly than she usually did, excitement overtaking her. “Did I miss anything?”

Night Light opened his mouth to answer his daughter’s question, but before he could say anything, a deafening roar drowned out any sounds that anypony was making within a two-mile radius. The whole building shook on its vibrations, and several migration patterns of nearby flocks of birds were severely disrupted. Twilight and Night Light lay on the floor, the force of the soundwaves having bowled them over.

“Nope,” Night Light said as he got to his hooves, much louder than he usually spoke. “Basically been doing this for the last six hours.”

“How is anypony still alive?” Twilight asked, looking around, a trickle of blood leaking from both her ears.

“WHAT?” Night Light shouted. Twilight raised an eyebrow, and Night Light’s horn sparked, two industrial strength giant bee beeswax ear plugs unshlorking themselves from his ears. “You’ll have to speak up, Twilight. Everypony’s given these earplugs when a type-2 screamer like your mother goes into labor. Granted, it’s been over 23 years since she was admitted, but the legacy of her vocal chords and lung power lives on.”

Twilight nodded, and screwed her face up in concentration. With a little pop, a large pair of earmuffs phased into existence. Twilight fit them snuggly around her ears, and not a moment too soon: another deafening sonic boom smashed through Canterlot General and the surrounding area.

“I SAID, HOW IS ANYPONY STILL ALIVE?” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs. “THERE’S NO WAY THE HOSPITAL CAN FUNCTION WITH MOM LIKE THIS!”

“Jeez Twilight, calm down, there’s no need to shout,” Night Light shouted somewhat more quietly back at his daughter. Twilight’s face wrinkled into a scowl, which Night Light ignored. “And to answer your question, they don’t! Which is why I have to send ahead a letter to let everypony know ahead of time when your mother is about to go into labor, so they have time to transfer everypony and prepare the soundproof maternity room.”

“Doesn’t sound like it’s working,” Twilight said at just the right volume.

“Oh no, it is; without the sound proof room, the whole building would collapse from the force of your mother’s bellows,” Night Light reassured his daughter. “The midwives and doctors and nurses in there are all magically protected with short range double strength shielding charms, but they still have to change out every so often.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, shielding spells are one of the most draining spells magically. Easy to learn, but extremely difficult to keep maintained.”

As if on cue, the doors opened, and a very tired looking unicorn in scrubs encased in what looked like a shiting bubble fell out, gasping for breath. The doctor looked up at Night Light, his eyes bloodshot, and muttered “Your wife sucks.”

With that, he passed out, another unicorn in a shifting bubble running down the hall and into the soundproof maternity room. The door slammed shut, buffeting the limp body of the passed-out doctor into the hallway.

“I didn’t even know it was possible for pony to exert enough force from their lungs to be this powerful,” Twilight remaked, sidestepping away from the passed out doctor.

“Well, you mother is a talented mare,” Night Light said, his voice cut with an edge of husbandly pride.

“Don’t I know it,” Twilight muttered, grinning subtly to herself.

“Hm?” Night Light cocked an eyebrow, leaning in to get a better listen. “I’m sorry Twilight, I missed that last part.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Twilight said hurriedly. Quick to change the subject, her mind searched her brain for something to say. “So, um... you excited about having another kid?”

“Oh, for sure!” Night Light said, nodding his head and grinning widely. “After twenty three years, we’ve finally decided on other foal, hehe. You know, I didn’t think your mother was going to go for it, but she must have realized that this was her last shot for another last kid, and she wanted to make the choice before it was decided for her!”

“Oh, so she was on board with it?” Twilight asked.

Night Light nodded. “Yup! It surprised me too, considering her track record.” He chuckled darkly to himself, not expected Twilight to understand what he meant by that.

“Oh, so she didn’t shrink your penis this time?”

Night Light blanched, taking a step back from his daughter in shock. “Wh-what? How did you know about that?”

Twilight grinned sheepishly.

Twilight Velvet lay in the hospital bed, her hind legs lifted up in a strange contraption that allowed her to be spread, exposed to the world of the soundproof room, and to allow her baby an easier entrance into the world. She’d been down this road, in this exact same place, twice before. But she had been a younger, spryer mare back then. Her lungs hadn’t suffered, so that was good, at least.

A new unicorn had come in to replace the old one who had pussied out, and Velvet shot him a tired glance as he rounded about her chair. He gave her a kind, yet... slightly off smile, and took a position by her stirrups.

“Alright, Mrs. Velvet, let’s see what we’ve got here...” the unicorn said, peaking between her legs. “Ah yes, just as I expected... you’re expelling a uterus parasite!”

“I’m giving birth, you half-wit,” Velvet groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, sweat pouring down her face as her engorged abdomen flexed.

“Isn’t that what I just said?” The unicorn gave her a quizzical look. “Regardless, I think we need to make a few changes with this set-up...” His horn lit up, and the stirrups that held Velvet’s legs slid part, widening her stance.

“Alright, now that we’ve got those thingies propping your legs open widened, let’s see you rub your crotch a bit,” the unicorn instructed. “Come on; just slide your hoof down there and stroke your clitoris. It’ll... uh... help ease the foal out...”

Velvet’s expression was a mixture of extreme strain and complete disbelief. “What? ARe you suggesting that I—”

“Oh, come off it,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Do I really need to show you how? It’s not hard...” The stallion reached his hoof, slowly extending it towards Velvet’s heaving and stretching vagina.

“Doctor, what the hell are you doing?” Velvet roared, and in her foaling-induced mania, sent forth a burst of her own magic to blast him backwards. The unicorn crashed against the wall, groaning as his head and back were battered by the collision.

“Ugh...” he groaned, clutching the back of his head and looking up at Velvet. “Wait... ‘Doctor’? Who said I was a doctor?”

Velvet’s pupil’s shrunk.

There was a loud crash from behind her, and the soundproof door burst open again, and this time three ponies had entered. Before her, Twilight Velvet saw a unicorn who was dressed just like all the others, safely in his bubble; however he had a coffee clutched in his aura, and wore a tired expression that easily conveyed he would rather be somewhere else, possibly playing pool or taking a long drag while two prostitutes slapped each other silly on his motel room bed.

The other two ponies were burley earth ponies dressed in the blue vest and black headgear of hospital security. They strode in quickly, their gruff demeanor slightly tainted by worrisome glances at Velvet every now and then. They did not have protective bubbles, being earth pony scum and whathaveyou, so they had to work fast.

“Yes, take that nutter back to the psych ward,” the new doctor said, taking a pretentious sip of his coffee. “Can't have them all running loose, one of them might spread rumors about our ‘substandard’ care.” He shot the impersonator a disgusted glance. “You’re in a psychiatric ward, not a four star hotel! You can’t be so damn picky!”

“Are blankets so much to ask for?” asked the psych stallion as the security guards performed the impressive feat of binding him in a straitjacket using on their mouths. “That and some nice MILF puss?”

“Yes,” the doctor bluntly stated. “Now guards, take him away! Before her causes my eardrums more undue duress.”

The guards were more than happy to comply, scuttling out of the room like frightened lobsters, dragging the imposter behind them.

“Don’t you evacuate everypony from the hospital when I come in to foal?” Velvet asked, breathing in and out rapidly as she prepared to push once more.

The doctor shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. “Not the psych ward patients. Turns out that the rumbling and screaming of your labor throes have roughly the same effect as electroshock therapy, and is a lot cheaper to boot.”

“Yes, well, now that he’s been dealt with,” the doctor deadpanned, levitating condensed cotton balls into his ears. “I’ll be your new doctor, Doctor Pure Patrician.” He cast her an uninterested glance. “I see you’re still in labor, then. Well, hurry up, they pulled me out of a nice comfy motel bed for this.”

“I can’t just ‘hurry up’,” Velvet growled with gritted teeth. Inhaling deeply, she pushed again with all her might in the vain hopes that her foal would yield. With the predicted ear shattering, foundation shaking, avian disrupting bellow, Twilight Velvet expelled all the air in her lungs as she pushed with all her might.

Doctor Patrician picked himself up from the floor, looking around hurriedly.”Where’s my coffee? I need my—” Upon spotting the poor cup, overturned and spilt, a single tear slid down his cheek.

Turning to Velvet, he scowled at her. “Dear sweet Zombie Celestia, why must you amres always be so melodramatic when you’re foaling? That was a good coffee I just lost there.”

Velvet stared at Doctor Patrician, burning holes in his face with her eyes. “You ignorant stallion, you don't have any idea what this feels like! It’s like trying to pass a damned bowling ball!”

The doctor cleared his throat, and gestured to the wall, where several awards and degrees hung side by side, all neatly framed. The one to which he was pointing directly denoted the owner of the certificate as the winner of the Canterlot Bowling Ball swallowing contest for the tenth year in a row. Pure Patrician’s name was engraved along the bottom.

Twilight Velvet narrowed her eyes at her doctor as she inhaled, preparing herself for another push.

Twilight Sparkle, Night Light, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadance all sat together, lined up against the wall right outside of the soundproof maternity room. Shining Armor and Cadance had shown up just after Twilight Sparkle had accidentally let slip some confidential information about her father that her mother had imparted on her almost a year ago. Easily able to divert attention, she quickly asked Shining and Cadance to elaborate on their happenings in the past year.

“—and in conclusion, we learned that changelings are friends, not food,” Shining Armor said happily as another one of Velvet’s cries shook the hospital. “Isn’t that right, honey?”

Cadance crossed her forearms and frowned at Shining, who look down at his own hooves in embarassment.

“Yes, well, I’m glad you’re getting on so well with Solitaire,” Twilight said, plodding the floor with a hoof. “I really should get around to seeing her again, she didn’t seem to happy with her job at the Crystal Palace when I last visited.”

“That’s just because she’s ungrateful,” Cadance spat. “I know tons of changelings who’d give their left egg sack to be the royal chambermaid!”

“That’s all well and good,” Shining said, quickly attempting to avert attention away from a possible fight. “B-but tell us, Twilight! What have you been doing the past year yourself?”

“Oh, not a lot,” Twilight said, shrugging both her shoulders and her wings. “Learned to fly. Learned a bunch of friendship lessons. Avoided large groups of obsessed foal fans. Defeated a bunch of vines and saved Equestria. Went to the Pony Games, but you remember that... and I defeated a giant horrible demon creature and got a swank new palace in Ponyville. All the usual.”

Shining opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, the door to the soundproof maternity ward creaked open. A disgruntled, douchey-looking unicorn stallion looked down at them. “The foal’s been foaled. It’s a girl. Come in and see her while she’s still fresh from the uterus.”

Night Light beamed as he got to his hooves. “And to think I thought I didn’t have it in me... but now I get to see my beautiful new daughter!” He smiled happily at Twilight and Shining. “And to think! Shining gets another chance to see a baby sister of his, and this is Twilight’s first time! Oh, you guys don’t know how happy I am!”

“Jeez dad, save the gushing for your daughter,” Shining said with a bemused roll of his eyes. Night Light chuckled as the four ponies filed into the soundproof room.

Twilight Velvet lay in the bed, blanket rucked over her lower body as she cradled a pink bundle in her hooves, a small purple foal’s head peaking out from within. A nub of a horn was smack dab in the middle of her forehead, and a healthy tuft of lavender and mulberry streaked hair made up her mane.

“She’s...” Night Light paused for what seemed like forever to him. So many new and old emotions mixed together... he thought he would never get to feel this feel ever again. It’s a strange and wonderful feeling, to see a child for the first time after it is born. There’s a peaceful serenity that fills the room, and a simply beauty that cannot be matched by anything else is present.

Of course, it seemed like forever to everypony else too, and when Night Light entered his fifth minute of not speaking, Shining waved his hoof in front of his dad’s face.

“Uh, dad?” he said, his eyebrows upturning in concern. “You okay there?”

“...beautiful,” Night Light finished, nuzzling the freshly harvested filly with his cheek. In doing do, the blankets that wrapped her up fell away, and even though she let out a little gasp of resistance, Twilight Velvet was simply too tired to do anything.

Night Light, Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and Twilight Sparkle all stared in shock and disbelief at the little filly, who was sporting a small yet lovely pair of little wings.

“Oh yeah, I suppose I should have mentioned that,” Doctor Patrician said as he placed a tiny bouquet of miniature roses on the small memorial he had erected for his spilt coffee. “You’re kid’s an alicorn. Which means she’s not yours, hotshot.”

“B-but...” Night Light stammered, looking at the filly to his wife and back again rapidly. “W-who...”

Velvet looked wearily over at Twilight for just a moment, but that was all that needed. Shining, Cadance, and Night Light all turned to look at Twilight, who simply stood there, unmoving.

“Wow,” Doctor Patrician said, his voice dripping with apathy. “Awkward.”

Night Light let out a faint, feminine “oh”, and fainted on the spot. Twilight's legs wobbled as she watched her father faint, and seriously considered doing the same.