All That Sparkles

by Regidar

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Velvet, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Romance, Drama
Length: 25616

After Twilight Sparkle gains more than just wings in her alicorn ascension, her family situation complicates. Drastically.

Alicorn anatomy is an... interesting thing. And now that Twilight has to contend with that, she's not sure that everything to do with her new form is all it's cracked up to be.

Especially when her mother starts acting beyond bizarre around her.

Her friends were one thing, she could get that—but her own MOTHER?

But that's just the beginning of Twilight Velvet's wild ride...

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Published 2014-08-10 23:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-20 19:08:02 UTC

Spark To Start

Five mares gathered outside the Golden Oaks Library, all looking at each other with furrowed brows, heavy eyes, or deep frowns. These five, the bearers of the elements of harmony minus Twilight Sparkle, were all in a rather rough spot. They had just witnessed the vaporization of aforementioned Twilight Sparkle, and were all in different stages of processing it.

“Okay,” Pinkie Pie said, breaking the silence. “If we say it was a ghost, they won’t be able to put us away for it!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Rainbow Dash retorted with a roll of her eyes. “How’re we gonna prove that it was a ghost, Pinkie?”

“Ahah,” Pinkie Pie said with a sly smile. “It’s not how we’re going to prove it... it’s how they’re going to disprove it!”

All at once, there was a flash of blinding light, and from the heaven over Ponyville, a large six-pronged star appeared, conspicuously shaped like a certain student of Celestia’s cutie mark. The dazzled and confused ponies below had no idea what in the name of any princess, goddess, unspeakable eldritch horror, or third party candidate was going on, and simply watched on in awe as what very well could have been a cloud of horrible, weirdly shaped nerve gas descended upon them.

As the star reached the ground, there was another flash of blinding light, and briefly the ponies considered that maybe this was just some sort of giant, fancy lightbulb. As the lighting returned to normal, Twilight Sparkle stood before The Golden Oaks Library, crouched down on the ground.

All five of her friends were crowded around her, but only Applejack had the good manners to actually begin a conversation with their friend, who had just returned back to reality after the five of them thought they had vaporized her.

“Twilight?” she asked, completely stupefied.

Twilight straightened up, standing as tall as a three foot eleven pony can. From her back, with imagined trumpet fanfare blaring in her mind, she unveiled her mighty, brand new, glorious purple wings.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but was vaporized once more before she could even say a single word.

Everything that ever was, and ever is exists in what we like to call a “cosmology”. Some refer to it as a multiverse, but either way, it is a collection of universe that exist together. Different dimensions that follow different laws, have different timelines, and coexist in one form or another. Some dimensions do not touch, but every dimension can be accessed somehow, even if it takes lifetimes of dimension jumping.

There are smaller sub-dimensions as well, ones that are like little ticks sucking the proverbial blood of the dimensions they are attached to. These little “pocket dimensions” are often finite (since regular dimensions go on for such lengths that they are for all intents and purposes infinite), and easier to enter due to their parasitic nature.

This long and boring description is now at your benefit, for it was an abridged version of the lecture Twilight Sparkle had given Princess Celestia when she ended up in such a realm, sang to her, and gave her a new pair of wings. You didn’t have to suffer through the long winded explanations, the absurd minutia, and the venn diagrams. Dear god, the venn diagrams...

“So...” Twilight said, looking around the astral space, strange stars and ethereal lights blinking back at her like the so many eyes watching her from the void. “What happens now? Why’d you bring me back? I was just here! You sang to me and everything. Usually that indicates the issue’s been solved.”

“Well, usually,” Princess Celestia said, nodding her head slightly. “But I’ve nearly forgotten one of the most important things this ascension has brought about, so I simply cast a returning spell upon you and brought you back so we could discuss it further.”

“I’m ready to hear it.” Twilight gave her mentor and Princess a confident smile. Celestia nodded, smiling herself, and cleared her throat.

“You are a Princess now, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Celestia said, having previously briefed Twilight on the fact that she indeed was now a pretty pony princess. “But not just any princess, oh no; you are an alicorn princess, and with that power comes certain... responsibilities. Anatomical responsibilities.”

“You mean the wings?” Twilight asked, looking behind her at her back, where two feather-flying appendages sat. “Well, yes! I knew that, obviously, becoming an alicorn would grant me these wings, and now I’ve got them! I guess I’ll be needing flying lessons. Oh, and preening instructions! Oh my gosh, Princess Celestia! I don’t know how to preen. I’ll be swarming with lice and parasites and my feathers will be all unorderly—”

Princess Celestia chuckled. “Oh no, my dear Twilight. While proper wing care is important, it is nowhere near as important as what I am about to impart on you. You see, in our shared haste to make sure your friends didn’t believe you dead from the spell—”

“—they thought I was dead?”

Celestia cleared her throat and blushed slightly. “Well, anyway... in our shared haste, I forgot to bestow upon you the full alicorn genetic ‘package’. I hope you’re ready for this, Twilight. I have no doubts that you are, but... I’d be a fool not to take your personal opinion into account first.”

Twilight nodded again, resumed her confident smile from moment prior. “I’m ready for anything, and everything, Princess Celestia.”

Princess Celestia nodded, and her horn sparked. Much as before, incandescent tendrils of white star matter rose up from around Twilight, birthed from the very essence of the astral pocket itself, and enveloped her like some sort of weird space cthulhu capturing its prey.

Twilight felt the same strange feeling run through her body as it had the first time she had undergone the alicorn transformation—like somepony had strapped electrodes to her soft, supple pony teats and blasted electricity into them. Her hair stood on end, and she felt numb all the way down to her core. Her bones vibrated, feeling hollow as they did so, and an intense warmth, like water was boiling beneath her skin, began to grow. The last time the boiling feeling had come, it surfaced all along her spine, intensifying where her wings had eventually sprouted. This time, however... it was in the pit of her stomach, in her lower abdomen, traveling back to below her nethers, but before her mammaries.

Twilight grunted as she felt every feeling intensify, and she struggled just to keep her footing on the nearly intangible, ethereal floor. The heat had grown into a pressure, just as it had before—and now a heaviness tugged on the skin just under her vagina. A same heaviness was growing and weighing down on an area two inches up from her teats. Twilight let out a little gasp of discomfort—this was far more uncomfortable than the growing wings had been.

Celestia meanwhile, was watching the entire spectacle unfold from outside the glowing ball of light. With a sigh, she shook her head as the glowing ball began to expand, signifying that it was getting ready to deliver Twilight right back to Ponyville.

“My speed, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Celestia whispered as her horn lit up, getting ready to teleport away. “My speed.”

“Alright,” Rainbow Dash said, pacing before her other four friends in the same place the five of them had been prior, Twilight’s second pile of ash still smoldering nearby. “Now, just to be clear: we all saw her return, and then vaporize again, alright?” She shot glances at four ponies she had placed behind her friends: Lyra, Bon Bon, Golden Harvest, and Davenport. “You four guys are valuable witnesses to this thing, too. You all saw her return, right?”

“Well,” Davenport said while the other three scratched their heads and looked off in the distance, whistling and doing other non-conspicuous things. “I mean, it really could have been any purple pony... it’s all rather circumstantial...”

Rainbow Dash’s brow furrowed, and she grit her teeth so hard it made a high-pitched noise that, two miles away at Sweet Apple Acres, sent Winona into a frenzied seizure. Scowling at Davenport, Rainbow flew up to the stallion.

“Now, look here—”

Everypony stopped, however, when there was another flash of light, very similar to the first one. All present turned their heads, and looked up at the new shape in the sky.

“Oh dear,” Fluttershy murmured, shrinking down. Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened in pure awe, Applejack raised her eyebrows to the point where they were sucked into her mane, and Rarity cringed.

“Oh, come now, that’s hardly appropriate...” Rarity groaned.

Above them, floating in the sky, was a shape that was made of the same glowing light that Twilight's cutie mark had been made of before, when it first delivered the newly alicorned pony. However, it was now of an entirely different shape.

There was a giant horsecock and magnificent horse balls hanging over Ponyville, slowly lowering down.

Everypony in the little town watched in transfixed awe, along with a curious mix of disgust and arousal, as the phallus and testes made of glowing, more-likely-than-not irradiated light descended upon them. As it centered in front of The Golden Oaks Library, very much like the first once had, a glowing sphere fell out, depositing Twilight right on top of her previous ashes.

“Twilight!” Pinkie Pie screeched, shattering the silence like the so many dreams of middle-aged office drones. “You’re alive! And not a pile of ash! Well, I mean, of course since you’re right in front of us, but I maybe thought that you were secretly just the ash pretending to be Twilight, or a figment of our crazed, drug riddled imaginations!”

Everypony stopped and looked at Pinkie.

“Um...” Applejack said, one of her eyebrows retreating from the vast lands of her mane, the other remaining fully cocked to display just how apprehensive she was. “‘Drug-addled’?”

Pinkie Pie giggled and began foaming at the mouth.

“So in conclusion,” Twilight said, jostling her wings somewhat proudly, smiling brightly. “Those are my anatomical differences! I’m now officially an alicorn, and I’m to be the Princess of Magic!”

“Woah...” Rainbow Dash said, her giant, magenta eyes wider than the largest of goatses. “You have a cock now?”

Twilight sighed, and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do have... male genitialia as well as female ones now, but that’s not the important thing that happened, Rainbow! At least, not in my eyes.”

“How could it not be?” Pinkie Pie said rather loudly, her voice dripping with the great enthusiasms. “Now you’re twice as fun as you used to be! Not to say that you weren’t super-duper-DUPER fun before, but now you’re super-duper-DUPER-DUPER fun! Times two!”

Twilight did the calculations quickly in her head. “Pinkie, with the added duper, I’d actually be 2.25 times as fun, by your own admission.”

“Yeah, but with you doing things like that, it equals out the extra quarter!” Pinkie explained with a huge grin.”

Twilight rolled her eyes yet again, and sat down on her supple purple pony bum. Unfortunately, since she had only been in possession of her new genitals for about a half-hour now, she sat squarely on her large, juicy testicles, much to her complete and utter agony.

It was as though a thousand sun had all supernova’d inside her crotch region. Blinding pain shot up and down her spine, and her balls throbbed with blistering agony. That alicorn transformation she had to go through twice? Nothing compared to this slamming, brutal pain that battered the inside of her fresh testes.

“GNAAAH!” Twilight roared, her face contorting in a tortured, yet hilarious expression. “Sweet zombie Celestia, I had no idea you could experience so much pain!” She fell into her back, hooves pressed against her blistering balls, writhing around on the floor in unmatched suffering.

Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack all watched on in sympathy, whole Rainbow and Pinkie clutched each other, desperately trying not to break out into an intense fit of laughter.

“S-sorry, Tw-twilight...” Rainbow Dash gasped as Pinkie buried her face into the pegasus’s torso. “B-but... your face!”

The two of them, unable to control their mirth any longer, broke out into laughter, letting their guffaws burst from them, flooding the room as if a dam had just devastatingly burst. Rather than letting loose a torrent of unstoppable water, however, it merely filled the room with sound waves, and so the only casualty of the event was Twilight’s pride.

“Now, girls!” Rarity said, given them both disdainful looks. “Twilight is still adjusting to her, ah... new body, and it’s terribly rude of you two to laugh at her when she hurts herself!”

“Rarity, she’s obviously hamming it up,” Rainbow Dash said with a roll of her eyes, Pinkie Pie still clutching her and giggling into her chest fur. “It can’t hurt that much.”

Twilight bit her lower lip, eyes huge and watering. “I’m in agonizing pain...”

“What Ah don’t get,” Applejack interjected, looking around, making eye contact with all her friends as her eyes swept the room. “And it might just be me here, but Ah feel like Ah should say somethin’ anyway, but... why the hay do alicorns have stallion parts?”

Twilight straightened up, still shivering and cringing from the unimaginable pain she had just endured. “Well, I’m glad you asked, Applejack... you see, the alicorn species used to be much more plentiful, but many thousands of years ago, they started to die out rapidly. So some of the grand mages of the time decided that alicorn females, of which there seemed to be a much higher birth rate of, decided that they should be given the capabilities of males as well as females, in an effort to try and make sure the population stayed... well, not near extinction levels, as it’s happened upon now. So the mages altered the base DNA of the females to incorporate a ‘Y’ chromosome as well as one ‘X’ instead of the two that usually denote a female! Since that usually results in a male, a third chromosome, a 'Z' that had not since existed, was placed in! Even though there were a few hundred cases of horrible breakdown into goo on a molecular level, and tons of biologists and geneticists throwing riots, most of the genes took, so there’s...”

Twilight’s brow furrowed, and her face sagged into an annoyed frown as she saw Pinkie and Dashie had passed out, Rarity was staring at her with a glazed over expression, and Applejack was playing with her hooves. Fluttershy, however, seemed oddly transfixed with Twilight’s explanation, hanging on to every word.

“Oh, um... biology fascinates me,” Fluttershy explained, shrinking down and blushing deeply.

Twilight cleared her throat loudly, and the rest of the four ponies snapped to attention. Rainbow and Pinkie both woke with a start, looking around and blinking groggily, as Rarity and Applejack both grinned at Twilight apologetically.

“Well, now that you’ve, uh, explained your whole schlong situation,” Rainbow Dash blatantly stated. “Can we see it?”

“Rainbow!” Rarity nearly shrieked. “How crude! You simply can’t ask a lady to expose her, uh...” she trailed off at that, her mouth hanging slightly open for a moment before she shut it, and turned away from Rainbow, her blush rivaling Fluttershy’s.

“Yeah, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said, popping up into the air and landing neatly on her hooves. “Can we see it? Canwecanwecanwecanwecanwe?”

Twilight crossed her legs and stooped over. “I don’t know, girls. I mean... it’s fascinating and all, but I’m a princess now! I have wings! Don’t you want to talk about—”

“Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, cutting her friend off in mid-sentence. “I have wings. Fluttershy has wings. Every other pegasi in town has wings. I see wings every day. I don’t get to see a dick every day!”

In a blink of an eye, Twilight found herself on her back with Pinkie laying down next to her, holding her foreleg and smiling widely, eyes focused on her crotch, while Rainbow lay beside her on the other side, idly prodding Twilight’s sheath.

“Come on, make it come out,” Rainbow whined, poking it some more. Twilight’s junk jostled as Rainbow slapped the sheath lightly, her face one of grim determination.

Twilight bit her lower lip, eyes narrowing as Rainbow continued to fondle her. “R-rainbow, I just can’t—” Twilight’s speech faltered and failed as she let out a little moan. “—make it come out whenever I want it to...”

“Yeah Dashie!” Pinkie Pie said. “You gotta mess around with it a bit! Set the mooood!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I don’t have time to mess around with any mood thing...” and with that, she began to roughly stroke Twilight’s sheath, her hoof vigorously sliding over the purple protrusion.

“Ah!” Twilight gasped as she felt a shiver run through her body. “R-rainbow, I don’t think... I mean, this is going a bit far, even for as good of friends as we are...”

“Twilight, it’s only weird if you make it weird,” Rainbow Dash said. “And it’s still not coming up!”

“Ooh, try licking her balls!” Pinkie supplied helpfully.

“Hey, good idea!” Rainbow dipped her head over, between Twilight’s legs, mouth open wide.

“Hey now, wait just a mome—” Twilight began, before she froze up completely as something wet and slimy slid along her aching testicles. Of course, the tongue was actually slithering across her scrotum, but it felt absolutely wonderful nonetheless. Even if it did feel extremely bizarre, the pleasure that was being garnered from it vastly outweighed the strange feeling. In fact, she quickly grew used to the sensation, and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Hey look Dashie, here it comes!”

Indeed, a thick, purple member was snaking its way out from Twilight Sparkle’s sheath. The newfound pleasure had caused her great arousal faster than she anticipated, and her hardening member ended up socking Rainbow Dash right in the eye.

“Ow!” Rainbow squawked, batting the phallus away from her. “Twilight, what the hell! Come on, watch where you slide that thing, jeez...”

“Sorry, Rainbow...” Twilight said sheepishly, grinning awkwardly. “It’s just... I’m new to these sensations and everything, so I just...”

She looked up and saw the other three mares looking on in some sort of horrified-yet-oddly-entrapped trance. She was quickly enough drawn away from her stupidied friends, however, when she felt her lower body lifted up, and something slide under her, her testes being jostled onto something warm.

“Look, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie squealed. Everypony turned to look (even Twilight, who had to crane her neck to see what was happening), and a mixed chorus of indignant gasps and fits of giggling her met. Pinkie Pie had slid under Twilight, and let the alicorn’s ball pouch rest on her snout, the individual testes rolling to land on Pinkie’s eyes.

“These aren’t my glasses!” the pink pony exclaimed in mock surprise, leaving Rainbow rolling on the floor in stitches.

Rarity coughed loudly. “Well, I think it’d be best for the three of us to leave you to your own devices. Give you some... privacy and all.”

“Y-yeah,” Applejack agreed, standing up and fanning herself, sweat dripping off her muzzle. “Jeez, did it get hotter in here aluva sudden?”

“Come, Fluttershy,” Rarity said bluntly as she and Applejack trotted towards the door. “It’s best for us to get moving along, now...”

“Oh, but I think I’d like to—”

“NOW, Fluttershy...” A blue aura enveloped the pegasus, and dragged her behind the two of them.

“O-oh...”

Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash, who was still recovering from her intense laughter Pinkie Pie had brought on. “What was that you said again about things not getting weird?”

Rainbow Dash smiled broadly.

Velvet Undergarments

Twilight Sparkle sighed, wiping her brow down as she stepped off the balcony and back into the beautiful halls of Canterlot Palace. She had just finished her Princess Coronation Ceremony, much to the joy of the populace, her friends, and her family, and had flown gloriously off the balcony, stretching her new wings and sailing about Canterlot. Of course, she didn’t really know how to fly yet, so she was actually just carried around on strings and puppeted like a marionette by the Wonderbolts. It had been such a grand time for her that she insisted on doing it for seven and a half hours.

“Ah, that was fun,” Twilight said to no one in particular as she walked down the hallway towards her royal quarters. “I bet it’ll be even better when I learn how to actually fly! But, I can always go again soon with the Wonderbolts to get that thrill. Right, guys?”

Twilight turned around and smiled at the tuckered pile of pegasus ponies, who had collapsed together a few yards down the hallway. All groaning and muttering in unison, the Wonderbolts waved their hooves in resignation.

“Please, Princess! No more!” Fleetfoot pleaded, groaning in agony as she and her comrades writhed in their little heap.

“If I have to go through that hell again, I’d sooner kill myself!” Soarin’ moaned, his wings throbbing and shedding a few feathers. Spitfire couldn’t even bring herself to speak; it hurt to move anything on her body.

Twilight chuckled as she resumed her trot back to her quarters. “Oh, those guys. Always the jokesters.” More pained groans echoed throughout the halls as Twilight advanced towards her room, humming a soft tune to herself.

The princesses had given Twilight a swank suite in the Canterlot Palace, and it was located conveniently at the end of the hallway that lead to the orating balcony, where all of the public speeches were held. This would give Twilight a head start if she wanted to do something fun with the populace, like start a riot or a flash mob.

“You know,” she said to herself as she reached the door. “I thought that there would be horrible repercussions if I became a princess. But so far, everything’s been great! The public is super receptive my friends are all happy for me, my parents were so proud of me, the Wonderblots are gonna give me free rides whenever I want until I learn to fly for myself—” This was punctuated by more groaning from down the hall. “—and Shining was crying. Hehe!”

“I was not!” came the muffled voice of her brother from behind her suite door. Twilight frowned and cock one of her eyebrows, pushing the door open after a small burst of magic unlocked the door. Inside, she found herself facing a group she didn’t expect to see until the honorary banquet later that night: Her parents, Shining Armor, and his wife, Princess Cadance.

“Oh, please, Shining,” Princess Cadance said with a smile. “It’s honestly nothing to be ashamed about. I can assure you, nopony cares if you cried at such an event!”

Shining gave his wife a bemused smile, and pulled her into a hug. While he was nuzzling her neck, Cadance turned to face Twilight and mouthed “everypony totally did”.

Shining resurfaced, and Cadance walked towards Twilight. “Twilight, I can’t even begin to express my congratulations and pride for you. It’s just so... exciting! I watched over you as a filly and watched you grow up into a smart young mare, and now you’re taking my side as one of the rulers of Equestria!” Twilight’s ears flattened and a blush grew on her cheeks as she smiled, looking up at her former foalsitter with bright eyes. “There just aren’t words I can use to express how happy I am for you!”

Twilight’s blush grew deeper, and her parents giggled and tittered behind Cadance.

“Well, I—” Twilight began, but was cut off by Cadance almost immediately.

“That’s why I’ve decided to get you a present! And the most useful, top quality one I could find, as well!”

Twilight’s mouth still hung open from being cut off previously, so she slowly closed it and turned her head slightly to the side, furrowing her brow and looking at Cadance. “Well, Cadance, thank you! But honestly, it’s hardly necessary, you don’t need to give me anything...”

Cadance shook her head, beaming down at Twilight as she did so. “No, Twilight. Please. I insist.”

Twilight shrugged. “Well, alright. If you insist...”

Cadance turned from Twilight, still smiling, and faced Shining. “Alright! Bring her out!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “‘Her’?”

Cadance and Shining shared a chuckle, while her parents joined in. Shining stepped to the side, and a shaking pegasus stepped forward. She was a little smaller than Twilight, and her red mane contrasted sharply with her grey coating, although it was not garish. She seemed to hide behind her mane, taking very shaky steps.

“Oh, hello there!” Twilight said, stopping a bit. “What’s your name?”

“S-solitaire...” the pegasus whispered, her voice slightly raspy, although distinctly feminine.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak once more, but closed it as something occurred to her. Looking up at Cadance, she cleared her throat and asked, “Wait, she’s my present?”

Cadance nodded enthusiastically.

“You can’t give me other ponies as a present!” Twilight exclaimed in exasperation. “That’s slavery!”

“Oh, don’t worry Twilight,” Cadance said, as a green light crackled over Solitaire, sounding like a million beatles singing the blues in harmony, revealing some disgusting black chitin. “I don’t think that’ll be an issue.”

“AH!” Twilight screamed, hoping back from Solitaire as the changeling huddled down in fear. “CHANGELING! KILL IT!”

Her horn shot out a little fireworks display, and a huge flyswatter along with an enormous can of raid materialized above her. But before she could exterminate the changeling with extreme prejudice, Cadance lifted a hoof up.

“Twilight! Control your racism for just one moment, please!”

The two mechanisms of insect nightmares dissipated. “Y-you’re right. Sorry.”

“Twilight, I know it’s a bit difficult to adjust to, but you needn’t worry about this changeling,” Cadance said, her voice soft and kind. “But we ran her through enough re-education programs that you needn’t fear her at all! Take it from me, Twilight; after all, don’t I have more reason to fear Changelings than anypony else?”

“I-I guess so,” Twilight said, voice unsteady. “Wait... re-education programs? I thought those were just an urban legend! We don’t really run those things, do we? I mean, they don’t actually exist... right?”

“Don’t worry, we’ve done such a good job of covering them up, they might as well not!” Cadance reassured her.

Twilight opened her mouth to argue, but Shining Armor stepped in before she could say anything. “Twily, Solitaire here is completely safe. You don’t have to worry at all about her! You see, me and Cadance—”

“Cadance and I,” Twilight corrected automatically.

Shining paused, his expression the same relatively neutral one it had been before, but in his eyes one could almost see the fires raging within him. The stallion shook ever so slightly as he screamed internally, the wails on he could hear echoing within in skull, each bounce magnifying them more and more until it was nearly unbearable.

“Y-yes,” he growled, with gritted teeth and slightly narrowed eyes. “Cadance and I, after the invasion of Canterlot, were given control over the remaining changelings that we weeded out. After several unsuccessful attempts to make them Equestria’s next big snack food, we took the remaining ones that hadn’t suffered a delicious, buttery fate and put them in the re-education camps originally meant to replace the public schooling system, and we had them true Equestrian patriots in no time!”

Twilight shot the cowering Solitaire another glance, and upon further inspection, her brother’s words proved true! In her haste and well-placed hate for sneaky insects, she had overlooked the little pin in Solitaire’s mane with Celestia’s cutie mark on it, the holy Celestial Sun, as well as the little sports flag with “Go Wonderblots!” written on it clutched in Solitaire’s maw.

“Hm, I guess she might not be that bad after all,” Twilight concluded as she looked back up at her brother and his wife. “Isn’t it still slavery, though?”

Both Cadance and Shining exchanged glances, their cheek puffing slightly as they struggled to make no noise. Unable to contain themselves after a grand total of three seconds, they burst out into hearty, rich laughter. Guffawing at Twilight’s expense for a good five minutes, Cadance eventually managed to catch her breath.

Wiping a mirth-induced tear from her eye, she turned to Twilight and said, “Oh, silly Twilight! Changelings don’t have rights like you or I because they simply aren’t worthy of it!”

“It’s true,” Solitaire said, almost mechanically. “We weren’t made in Celestia’s image, merely to imitate it. We’re only good for serving the great ponies who are kind enough to let us come into into their lives and their society.”

Twilight let out a laugh. “Haha! Disturbing. Anyway, can I still treat her like a regular pony? I don’t want to be needlessly cruel.”

“Well, of course! You can do whatever you want with her!” Cadance said. “Just don’t hesitate to give her a light beating with a lead pipe if she steps out of line.”

“Or to deep fry her in a vat of butter if you get tired of her,” Shining added, licking his lips hungrily. Solitaire’s eye twitched.

“All this talk of deep frying is making me hungry,” Night Light, Twilight’s father, suddenly said. “What say we all head down to the banquet, now that Twilight’s been given her present?”

“That doesn’t start for another hour and a half, dear,” Twilight Velvet, the mother of the clan, pointed out.

“Yes, but the food will probably be all laid out! Considering a prince, two princesses, and their parents will be there, I’m sure they’ll be more than lenient with us...”

“Do you need to go there first to pig out? You’ve packed on the pounds as of late,” Twilight Velvet stated in a dry voice, poking her husband in the chub. Night Light blushes, his ears flattening.

“Well, I’m kinda hungry too, don’t know about the rest of you,” Shining said, looking between his father and Cadance. “That’s probably why I’m so hung up on... mm... delicious changeling...”

Solitaire crept back a few feet.

“I could go for a bite,” Cadance agreed. “We could always go there to assure that the two of you get prime seats, since Shining and I are already assured thrones next to Twilight and my aunties.”

“Well, if you’d like,” Velvet said with a shrug. “You three go ahead, I’d like to talk with my daughter in private, if that’s alright with you all.”

“I don’t see how that’s an issue,” Night Light said, smacking his lips. “Come on son! If you hurry, I might even let you get a beer!”

“I’m twenty five, dad...” Shining muttered as he and the two others left Twilight’s luxurious room. Before they were completely gone, Cadance stuck her head back in, glaring at Solitaire.

“You! Come with me!” she barked. “I’ll find you some closet where you can stay until the banquet is over!” Solitaire yelped, and scampered to her hooves, scrambling for the door as fast as she could.

The door slammed shut, and Twilight Velvet sighed, trotting over to her daughter’s bed. “Twilight dear, come sit on the bed with me. Let’s have a little chat, just you and I.”

Twilight nodded and walked over towards her mother. “Is something wrong, mom?”

“Oh no dear, on the contrary,” Velvet said, smiling warmly at her daughter. “I’ve very proud of you for achieving all you have. I always knew I’d produce at least one child who’d do great things!”

“And lucky you, you got two,” Twilight said with a little giggle.

“Hrm, yes, I suppose so.” Velvet sounded almost despondent. “Well, your brother aside, I feel like I’ve achieved much with my life. My little baby filly, all grown up and a ruler and heroine of Equestria! It’s almost too much for a mare.”

Twilight blushed, sitting down next to her mother, returning her warm smile. “Well, it’s all thanks to you and dad. If you didn’t listen to my pleas to enroll me in the magic school in the first place, I would have never done anything that got me to where I am now!” She leaned over and gave her mother a big hug, her wings wrapping around her spawner’s body. Velvet shivered a bit, her eyes rolling back in her head and she mouthed unheard words and bit her lip.

“W-well,” Velvet said once she had recovered. “I really couldn’t ask for a more perfect daughter, Twilight, and that’s what I’m here to talk to you about.”

Twilight disengaged from the hug, and raised an eyebrow curiously. “Oh?”

“Yes, Twilight,” Velvet said, looking down at the floor. “This is hard for me to say, and just... well, I hope you can take this to heart, and accept what I am about to tell you.”

Twilight’s curiosity gave way slightly, becoming tainted with worry. “A-alright...”

Twilight Velvet inhaled deeply, and turned to her daughter. “Twilight, I’m in love with you.”

Twilight said nothing, staring blankly at her mother’s face.

Velvet sighed, and looked down at the floor again, before turning to face her daughter. “It’s been like this for a while, Twilight, I’m not going to lie. Ever since you were a little filly, I felt this... odd, awful attraction towards you that I couldn’t explain. I suppose your intelligence had something to do with it, your father never was an intellectual. I am no foal fiddler, don’t mistake me for that, your physique was never one that I enjoyed sexually, even though you do retain both the best physical features of your father and I. However, as you blossomed into a young mare, even though I am less than often attracted to the female form, I couldn’t deny your beauty any longer. I began to hate myself—what kind of dirty perverted mare was I? A mother loving her own daughter? It was abhorrent! But still, I gave you all my motherly love, and even... a bit more. Couldn’t you tell, Twilight?”

Twilight continued to stare blankly at her mother. There was an audible snap from deep within her head, and she slowly opened her mouth. “Wh-what?”

“You can’t honestly tell me you weren’t able to tell, sweetie,” Twilight Velvet said. “Think back, really hard...”

Twilight Sparkle, still somewhat dazed as her mind processed the strange and slightly disgusting new information it was receiving, closed her eyes and thought back to her childhood.

”Goodnight, mommy!” A small filly Twilight Sparkle said sleepily, wiggling down in her bed.

Twilight Velvet, somewhat younger herself, crossed the room, and took the blankets in her hooves, tucking her daughter into bed. “Goodnight, my sweet darling,” she said softly, kissing her daughter on the forehead, giving her a little nuzzle to boot. “Have sweet dreams.”

“Thanks, mommy,” Twilight said with a yawn, closing her eyes and smiling.

“Goodnight, mom!” A young colt Shining Armor said, from his bed on the other side of the room.

Twilight Velvet left without another word.

“Thanks for taking me out to see a movie, mom,” a teenaged Twilight Sparkle said, smiling at her mother, her braces reflecting the light from the cinema screen so brightly it blinded a poor usher who happened to be looking in the direction at the time. “Too bad Shining had to clean the house and he couldn’t come.”

“Yes, what a shame,” Twilight Velvet said from behind the safety of her movie-going sunglasses. She yawned in a very transparent way, and stretched her forehoof around her daughter’s shoulders, leaning in against her, snuggling up.

“Nope! I’m here!” came Shining’s voice. The two mares turned to see Shining stepping over the blinded usher, who was writhing on the floor in agony, grinning hugely. “I pulled some of my buddies together and we got the house cleaned just in time for me to make it!”

Twilight Velvet gave her son a look of the utmost unamusement. “You’re grounded for a month.”

Shining’s smile faltered. “What? Mom, you’re kidding, right?”

“Two months.”

“Jeez mom, you really went all out...” Twilight from two years ago remarked. “This is the fanciest pasta-restaurant I’ve ever been to!”

Twilight Velvet from two years ago chuckled, taking a sip from her spaghetti sauce sherry garnished with a veggie meatball. “Well, only the best for my favorite child.”

Twilight giggled. “You mean daughter, right? You’ve only got one, so that way you don’t accidentally imply that you love me more than Shining!”

“I said what I meant, dear.”

Twilight’s face contorted in confusion, but as soon as she laid eyes on the heaping plate of spaghetti before her, it changed to one of delighted hunger. “Well, regardless! Let’s eat, I’m starved!”

The two of them levitated their forks up with their magical auras, and dug in to the food, Twilight a fair bit messier than her mother. The two of the mares each found a noodle, and began to slurp it down with the extreme prejudice only pasta-lovers can muster. The other noodles fell away as the mares slid the spaghetti into their gullets, and it was revealed to them that they were each slurping down different ends of the same noodle. As they neared the middle of the spaghetti, they leaned in over the table, their muzzles getting closer and closer. Velvet’s eyes fell to a half lid as they grew ever closer...

Twilight blinked, dispelling her flashback, which was in black and white for some strange reason. “Wow, you’re... you’re right! I don’t know how I didn’t pick up on that before...” She looked back up at her mother. “Mom, I don’t... I really don’t know how to feel about this, it’s just... there’s so much wrong with this, sweet Zombie Celestia...”

Twilight Velvet set a hoof on her daughter's shoulder, gently pulling her into a hug. “Oh sweetie, I know. Just please, I beg of you... try to find some of the same feelings for me somewhere in you. I know it’s hardly a conventional relationship, but... I just want some validation for the pull I’ve felt all these years.”

Twilight hugged her mother back, albeit somewhat apprehensively. “I-I don’t... I’m not sure, mom. I mean... you’re my MOM! And, and, and... what about dad? You can’t honestly expect me to be the knife in the back of your marriage?”

“Twilight, honey, your father is an amazing stallion,” Velvet said, petting her daughter's mane. “But he simply isn’t... you. You’re the best parts of him, the best parts of me, and one hundred percent you, and that’s what makes you so... utterly desirable. I’m surprised—although not ungrateful—that you haven't attracted a stallion or mare by now. And now that you’re a princess, and expected to take a partner soon...” Velvet took another deep breath. “I just wanted to put this out on the table.”

Twilight looked away from her mother, stuttering for a moment before she found the words. “I-I... are you really that deeply attracted to me?”

She could feel her mother’s mane as it drifted over her when she nodded.

“W-well...” Twilight’s voice was shaky as she spoke. “I could... what is it that you want to do with this, exactly? What do you want, mom?”

“I want you to tell me you love me,” Velvet breathed into Twilight’s ear.

Twilight smiled, although this was more a slightly sad, somewhat terrified smile. “M-mom, I’ve told you that so many times before...”

“Yes, Twilight,” her mother said, and when Twilight turned, she could see an expression that she hadn’t ever seen present on... anypony’s face, really. It was a pleading, begging expression, but it was also one of hope, and grim determination, all mixed together into an awkward cocktail that looked like it had no business being on a married mare with two children. “But this time, I want you to mean it. Say it to me and give it more depth than a child parroting it, or a mechanized, automatic response to affection, or as a simple goodbye.”

Twilight’s throat contorted, her mouth dryer than a Saddle Arabian’s pussy. When she finally was able to speak, it was a hoarse whisper, a low croak, and she half expected dust to drift from her gaping maw.

“I-I love you.”

Twilight Velvet smiled, and leaned into her daughter’s hug even more. Twilight stared at the space on the bedpost above her mother’s head, unmoving as her mother nuzzled her. Her mother’s head was slowly moving upward. She didn’t even resist when Velvet pressed her cheek against hers, rolling her head so that their lips connected.

Twilight did not return the kiss, although she was still not resisting. Her mother’s soft lips against her own felt... oddly soothing, although internally she was still screaming and debating of much scrubbing she was going to have to do to get clean again after this. Her mother’s tongue, the warm, wet meat muscle in her mouth, slid up against her teeth, and it was now that Twilight new that she had to make a decision.

Breaking the kiss, a thin trail of saliva connecting the two of their mouths, Twilight looked her mother deep in the eyes. “D-do you... I mean, are you sure about this, mom?”

Twilight Velvet nodded, smiling at her daughter. “Twilight, this is the crescendo of an eighteen year long symphony. It started small, when you were just a tiny filly, but the instant I saw that intelligence in you, I knew that there was more than a motherly bond that I had for you. As time dragged on, it merely confirmed that for me, Twilight, that I simply did not love you... I was in love with you, as scary and disgusting it may seem...”

Twilight say that her mother’s eyes were wet, and a single tear was sliding down her cheek. “M-mom? Come on, mom, don’t cry, I... I...”

Velvet pressed into Twilight against, kissing her deeply. The younger mare could feel her tears splatter against her cheek, a strange wetness that she wasn’t used to feeling. It almost... stung. As her mother continued to press against her lips, Twilight returned the kiss, opening her mouth slightly to be more receptive of her mother’s affections.

As the two tongue wrestled, Velvet leaned on her daughter with just enough force to tip her over. As she landed Twilight on her back, Velvet slid her hooves down, stroking her child’s side as she ground her hips between Twilight’s her hair standing on end as she felt the bump of her sheath yield to a much more... exciting object.

“Oh, so the rumors are true,” Velvet moaned as she pulled away from the kiss for just a moment, Twilight still pecking her cheek as she did so. “Oh, my dear Twilight, this night just got all the sweeter...”

Velvet sat up, licking her lips hungrily as she watched her daughter’s length grow. “Oh, my... Princess Celestia really went all out on you, didn’t she? Not even at half mast and you’re already at your father’s length.”

Twilight looked down, and her super-duper math senses tingled as she approximated the length of her exposed cock. “What, dad’s only 5.23 inches?”

“Well, actually, he’s at five inches exactly.” Velvet giggled mischievously, her horn sparking. “Let’s just say that he started out at a... heartier length.”

Twilight's face did the thing where it made it look as though she were witnessing a bus full of retarded paraplegics crash into burning building in slow motion. “Oh sweet Zombie Celestia mom, what the fuck?”

“Honey, there’s one thing you have to understand... when I was first married to your father, in the first two years I was apprehensive of having children. Wasn’t ready to give up the figure, you know? And it was such a radical life change, I just wanted to make sure I was ready first. Well, one drunken night, your father and I were somewhat... reckless. A few weeks later when I found myself growing, I was, shall we say, less than pleased with your father.”

This whole time while she was causally explaining herself to Twilight, she was stroking her daughter’s dick with her hoof. Her touch was delicate, and the gliding of Velvet’s hoof on her sensitive sexual sausage’s skin was almost too much for Twilight to bear, as her phallus engorged with blood rapidly, and a bit of pre splattered into her belly.

“So I had to take some magical action,” Velvet continued, grinning saucily at her daughter’s prelude to a quick trigger. “Hmm, still getting used to the equipment, darling?”

“I-I actually haven’t done anything with it since the afternoon after I first got it,” Twilight confessed, her cheeks burning with a blush. “I’ve been feeling rather... aroused by things I’ve never felt aroused by before, so I was scared of trying anything out until I could read into it more.”

“Mmm, my dear,” Velvet crooned as she watched the dick continue to grow right before her very eyes. “Some things simply must be experienced instead of read about...” With that, Twilight’s mother leaned over and took a good, long lick up the length of her daughter’s shaft.

Twilight let out a guttural moan as she felt her mother’s tongue upon her. This was obviously the tongue touching of a mare who had experience, somepony who knew what they were doing! Dashie had felt nice, but her clumsy tongue was nothing compared to this. This was... euphoric.

“I knew you’d like that,” Twilight Velvet said with a giggle. “You’ve got a very lovely taste, Twilight honey, heady and sweaty with a hint of raspberry... ah, it’s wonderful.”

“Wh-what does dad taste like?” Twilight found herself asking before she could stop herself. Velvet licked her lips, placed a hoof to her chin in thought, and smiled devilishly.

“Like sweat stale cheese puffs,” she concluded, and Twilight felt herself smiling, however nervous it was. “No, honestly, your father isn’t awful it’s just that... I’ve progressed. I’ve evolved from a relationship with him. He’s given me you, which is all I need, and I thank him for that, but I simply cannot bow to an inferior product when I have the much needed new and improved version at my disposal.”

Twilight’s smile became less nervous, and she found her blush growing even more intense. “Y-you were talking about dad? And the...” she blanched. “...penis thing?”

“Ah yes,” Velvet said, absently stroking her daughter’s penis once more. “Well, my magical action consisted of me shrinking his dick and balls magically. The dick by two inches, and his balls proportional to that.”

“Oh dear,” Twilight said, her eyes wide. “Did it hurt him?”

“Agonizingly so!” Velvet responded in a chipper voice. “I was hoping it would teach him a lesson, and deter him from trying to knock me up again. At the time, I thought to myself ‘one colt isn’t so bad... one child will be alright.’” She smiled knowingly at Twilight. “Of course, I was a fool back then, but it still stands. When your father knocked me up again after a three year clean streak, my fury knew no bounds. I considered leaving him right there, but I’m glad I didn’t. I settled for dropping him another two inches, and overall, he had shrunk from his former nine inch glory to a meager five inches.”

“That’s... exceptionally cruel, mom.” Twilight gave her mom a reproachful look, which immediately to pleasure when her mom began stroking her dick once more. Twilight Velvet bit her lip as she watched the dick grown at long last to its full length.

“Maybe so, Twilight, but my method produces results,” her mother said, ogling the fully erect member. “And my, what wondrous results... at full length you’re at least an inch bigger than your father ever was!”

Twilight Velvet rolled off the bed and trotted towards the headboard. With a devious smile, she levitated three of the soft, downy, pegasus-feather filled pillows, and stacked them up against the wall on the floor. “Now, Twilight, usually I’d break you in on the bed, but...” she shot her daughter a glance, who was struggling to her hooves while avoiding getting thrown off balance by her boner. “I imagine we might only get one time. You’ll ‘come to your senses’, you’ll call it a big mistake, I go back to being with Night Light, however unsatisfied...” she sighed, and rearranged the pillows slightly, almost absently.

“But for this one brief moment, I get to have everything I wanted. This is my denouement, as it was, in my love for you.” Velvet sighed yet again, and laid down on her back, head and neck reston on the pillows, legs spread to reveal her gorgeous, if mature, pussy. “Well, come now, Twilight! Don’t keep your mother waiting, that’d be rather rude of you...”

Twilight was wobbling on her hooves, wings jutting out now and then to keep her balance. When she saw the sight before her, her mother splayed out for the ravaging, she stopped dead, lost her balance, and slid sideways, slumping over into the floor.

“How do stallions walk with these things?” Twilight grumbling, crawling over towards her ready and willing mother, wings flapping and scraping against the floor, giving her small pushes towards her prize.

“To be fair, Twilight dear, most of them grow up with them,” Twilight Velvet said, doing her best not to burst out laughing and her flippity-floppity daughter trying to make her way over to her. “And not all of them are... quite as endowed as you are, hehe!”

Twilight Sparkle bumped her head against her mother’s hoof, and looked up. Her eyes fell upon the finely aged vagina, the one that had once stretched and nearly tore birthing Twilight into the world, still looked quite lovely.

“Forty four years old, and it doesn’t look a day over thirty two,” Twilight Velvet giggled to herself. That’s not always a good thing though, because pussy, like a fine wine or cheese, is best aged. But I digress...

“Jeez mom, especially after giving birth to the two of us...” Twilight poked the slit experimentally with a hoof. “How’s it still look... so nice?”

“Time heals everything, my dear,” Velvet said, smirking as she moved one of her own hooves down, spreading her nether lips and giving Twilight a nice view of her inner lining. “Now, come on, sweetie. Stop wasting time and jam your cock into your first slip-and-slide.”

Twilight pushed herself to her hooves, and braced herself against her mother, dick slapping against her mother’s inner thigh. Velvet had reasonably meaty thighs—in fact, her flank was something to definitely look twice at. Twilight slid up and down and all around her mother’s body, until finally, she managed to poke the head of her erection against her mother’s goo hole. Twilight herself was perched over her mouth, in a pre-crouching position.

“I-I obviously haven’t done this before...” Twilight said, sweating from the sheer awkwardness of the situation.

“Honey, I’ve been having to deal with five inches for the last twenty-two years. I’m going to be just alright with whatever happens, as long as you don’t end up fucking my bladder or something like that.”

Twilight nodded, and slid herself forward, her member connecting her to her mother as it pressed its first three inches in right off the bat. Velvet sighed in pleasure; not only was it lengthy, but it was considerably girthier than her husband's as well.

Twilight was completely unable to move after this. Her whole body has seemingly frozen, rusting itself into place. This. Felt. AMAZING. Well, not more amazing than that time she injected LSD into her eyeballs (thanks, Pinkie), but this was pretty close up there. This was such a foreign feel to anything she’d done with her vagina, and anything that had happened to her balls, so she wasn’t entirely certain what to do at this point.

“Alright, sweetie,” Velvet said, one of her eyes closed as she bit down on her lower lip. “Gently... gently thrust in and out of me, alright?”

Twilight Sparkle nodded, and began to do just that, slowly thrusting in, and then slowly thrusting out, her penis going one inch either way with in in and out movement. The warm, wet pussy walls grasped Twilight’s cock as she went in and out, sending little tingles through her body and up her spine as she fucked her mother.

Velvet, meanwhile, was enjoying the feeling of finally feeling like she was being stretched again. Truth be told, she and her husband hadn’t been doing much in the sex department lately anyway, and her vasgina was beginning to revert to factory settings. With her daughter’s new, fabulous dick, however... by Celestia’s swarthy, hair balls, she was finally going to feel s though she were being fucked again.

Still though... Twilight was exceptionally under experienced. Never even having been fucked herself, she was the epitome of virgin! Never fucked, never been fucked! She was just sort of... pivoting inside of Velvet, not sliding any further, not hunting for the g-spot, and not doing anything... inventive. Just safe rocking back and forth.

She’d have it no other way, though. This was about love, not meaningless sex! She wanted her daughter to feel happy and enjoy her first and quite possibly only time fucking her mother.

Twilight, feeling a bit adventurous, slowly slid in another two inches, taking shorter, faster thrusts. Her screwed up her face in concentration as her back legs bent, and her hips dropped downward. A bit over half of her length insider her mother, and her thrusts were still speeding up.

“A-ah...” Velvet moaned. “K-keep going sweetheart, this is nice, this is very nice...”

And keep going Twilight did. She moved her hooves closer to her mother’s boyd, and dipped her head down. In some of those trashy romance novels that Twilight had read before she burnt in lieu of firewood that one exceptionally cold winter, kissing had taken place during some of the thrust-fucking. Of course, Twilight had also learned about that in Advanced Sex Education, which she had taken when she was nine. It just never hurts to have facts confirmed by two or more reputable sources, that’s all.

As she continued to softly pummel her mother’s sweet snatch, Twilight leaned in and bumped muzzles with her, kissing her mother sloppily on the lips. Drawing on previous techniques used in the kissed but naught from ten minutes ago, the two slammed each other’s tongues into one another’s, explored their respective partner's oral cavities, and ran their tongues over the other’s teeth.

There was a strange pressure forming in the back of Twilight's gut, near those giant swinging pain orbs that hung off of her like some cruel joke put there by a vengeful god(dess). She felt a rush of blood surge into her cock, and it hardened even more than it already was.

Velvet felt it too, and grinned. “Mmm... guess somepony’s got a hair trigger...”

“I-I’m not...” Twilight gasped as she thrust harder and faster into her mother’s beef portal. “I’m n-not used to this yeeet...”

“It’s okay, baby,” Velvet crooned, licking her lips and letting her mouth fall open. “Just let it all out inside me, come on, cum inside your momma, just for her...”

Twilight continued to thrust, but her expression was one of mixed worry and ahegao. “W-wait, that’s... that’s how primary mammalian reproduction works, I can’t kn-knock my own mother up, that’d be... I can’t even begin to comprehend the genetic repercussions.” Twilight had apparently forgotten she now has a chromosome that isn’t supposed to exist outside of cheesy sci-fi pronos.

“Twi-Twilight, it’s a magic cock that the princess gave you,” Velvet moaned as she arched her back, impaling herself further on her daughter’s mass of meat. “I have serious doubts you’re fertile... besides, I’m on the pill!”

Twilight gave her mother the best apprehensive look she could with her eyelids fluttering and her cheek muscles twitching as her orgasms smashed towards her like a wave of unstoppable teenage fillies rushing towards a Fall Out Foal concert. “R-really? You sure?”

“Well, some kind of pill,” Velvet muttered. Looking back up at her daughter, she gave her her best sultry smile. “Yes, Twilight. Now cum! Cum in momma!”

Twilight nodded, and grabbed the top of her mother’s thick left thigh and the lower part of her flank with her hooves, lifting her up as she stood up on her hind hooves. Her wings splayed out, flapping about, generating gusts of air and an ever-so-slight bit of lift that helped her balance on her back hooves as she thrust forward, sinking herself almost entirely into her mother. This pushed Twilight Velvet’s hips up even high, lifting them up off the floor. Her back and neck were safely padded against the pillows as Twilight's cock slid up against something tight and hard inside her mother’s vagina—the cervix, Twilight's orgasm riddled brain made passing note of—and their tails batted against each other.

Velvet’s eyes rolled back in her head as their two hips crashed together, her mouth falling open and her tongue lolling out of her gaping maw. All she could do was let out quick little pants and gasps as Twilight's cock twitched and quivered in her cooter. Twilight’s facial expression were strained as the pressure was so close to being revived. It was there, so close, she could almost...

And the dam broke. Twilight gasped in a mix of pain and pleasure as her first orgasm with her cock occurred. As the semen flooded from her cock, it burned like she was pissing molten slag, but after a few more squirts, it was nothing but a wave of orgasmy goodness. She hadn’t cum at all since she first got her testes, and boy, was she over making up for that. It seemed as though there was a near limitless supply of semen to flood from her into her mother—indeed, there was so much of it that her mother’s stomach was beginning to bulge as her insides were filled with her daughter’s purple pony princess penile propagation paste.

“M-mom...” Twilight moaned out, her teeth gritted and her eyes almost closed, drool leaking from her mouth and dripping down her cheek. Her semen began to shoot out around her cock and mother’s pussy lips in small rivulets. The cum leaked down her cock, sliding down and gathering in strands on her large, swaying balls, which were almost visibly shuddering as they discharged their heavy load. Large, gooey ropes were sliding down Velvet’s plot and crack, collecting on the floor in a puddle underneath her.

After what seemed like an eternity of orgasmic pleasure and supernovas of pure warmth, Twilight finally shot her last strand into her mother, and fell backwards into her back, her cock sliding out of her mother with a long, wet noise reminiscent of a plunger being removed from an exceptionally clogged toilet, dragging along with it an odd gallon or so of semen.

Both of the mares laid their, sweat pouring down their bodies, covered in semen and saliva and all manner of bodily fluids that are completely inappropriate to share with family members. Velvet’s eyelids were fluttering, and her whole body was shaking, still brought to her own orgasm, despite her daughter being such an inexperienced fuck. Even though it was just one orgasm, she’d easily rank it among the best in her life.

“Th-that was...” she said, huffing and gasping for breath. “That was lovely, Twilight. I really appreciate you indulging me in such depravity.”

Twilight did nothing except stare at the ceiling, gasping for breath.

Velvet sat up, pressing being exerted on her midsection and resulting in a jet of cum splashing from her depths. “Hehe... we’ve made quite the mess. Well, Twilight honey, we’ve got about an hour left before we’re expected... I think we can both stand to wash up.”

Twilight nodded, the ceiling still being her primary interest.

“Together.”

Twilight swallowed hard.

The Geneticist's Nightmare

Eleven Months Later...

Twilight Sparkle rushed down the nearly empty hall of the Canterlot General Hospital’s maternity ward, her wings flapping as her hooves flew across the tiles. As she advanced down the hallway, she saw her father pacing in front of one of the doors at the very end. Smiling, she sped up, her hooves leaving the floor as she glided over towards her father, safely on her wings.

“Hey dad!” Twilight said far more loudly than she usually did, excitement overtaking her. “Did I miss anything?”

Night Light opened his mouth to answer his daughter’s question, but before he could say anything, a deafening roar drowned out any sounds that anypony was making within a two-mile radius. The whole building shook on its vibrations, and several migration patterns of nearby flocks of birds were severely disrupted. Twilight and Night Light lay on the floor, the force of the soundwaves having bowled them over.

“Nope,” Night Light said as he got to his hooves, much louder than he usually spoke. “Basically been doing this for the last six hours.”

“How is anypony still alive?” Twilight asked, looking around, a trickle of blood leaking from both her ears.

“WHAT?” Night Light shouted. Twilight raised an eyebrow, and Night Light’s horn sparked, two industrial strength giant bee beeswax ear plugs unshlorking themselves from his ears. “You’ll have to speak up, Twilight. Everypony’s given these earplugs when a type-2 screamer like your mother goes into labor. Granted, it’s been over 23 years since she was admitted, but the legacy of her vocal chords and lung power lives on.”

Twilight nodded, and screwed her face up in concentration. With a little pop, a large pair of earmuffs phased into existence. Twilight fit them snuggly around her ears, and not a moment too soon: another deafening sonic boom smashed through Canterlot General and the surrounding area.

“I SAID, HOW IS ANYPONY STILL ALIVE?” Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs. “THERE’S NO WAY THE HOSPITAL CAN FUNCTION WITH MOM LIKE THIS!”

“Jeez Twilight, calm down, there’s no need to shout,” Night Light shouted somewhat more quietly back at his daughter. Twilight’s face wrinkled into a scowl, which Night Light ignored. “And to answer your question, they don’t! Which is why I have to send ahead a letter to let everypony know ahead of time when your mother is about to go into labor, so they have time to transfer everypony and prepare the soundproof maternity room.”

“Doesn’t sound like it’s working,” Twilight said at just the right volume.

“Oh no, it is; without the sound proof room, the whole building would collapse from the force of your mother’s bellows,” Night Light reassured his daughter. “The midwives and doctors and nurses in there are all magically protected with short range double strength shielding charms, but they still have to change out every so often.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, shielding spells are one of the most draining spells magically. Easy to learn, but extremely difficult to keep maintained.”

As if on cue, the doors opened, and a very tired looking unicorn in scrubs encased in what looked like a shiting bubble fell out, gasping for breath. The doctor looked up at Night Light, his eyes bloodshot, and muttered “Your wife sucks.”

With that, he passed out, another unicorn in a shifting bubble running down the hall and into the soundproof maternity room. The door slammed shut, buffeting the limp body of the passed-out doctor into the hallway.

“I didn’t even know it was possible for pony to exert enough force from their lungs to be this powerful,” Twilight remaked, sidestepping away from the passed out doctor.

“Well, you mother is a talented mare,” Night Light said, his voice cut with an edge of husbandly pride.

“Don’t I know it,” Twilight muttered, grinning subtly to herself.

“Hm?” Night Light cocked an eyebrow, leaning in to get a better listen. “I’m sorry Twilight, I missed that last part.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Twilight said hurriedly. Quick to change the subject, her mind searched her brain for something to say. “So, um... you excited about having another kid?”

“Oh, for sure!” Night Light said, nodding his head and grinning widely. “After twenty three years, we’ve finally decided on other foal, hehe. You know, I didn’t think your mother was going to go for it, but she must have realized that this was her last shot for another last kid, and she wanted to make the choice before it was decided for her!”

“Oh, so she was on board with it?” Twilight asked.

Night Light nodded. “Yup! It surprised me too, considering her track record.” He chuckled darkly to himself, not expected Twilight to understand what he meant by that.

“Oh, so she didn’t shrink your penis this time?”

Night Light blanched, taking a step back from his daughter in shock. “Wh-what? How did you know about that?”

Twilight grinned sheepishly.

Twilight Velvet lay in the hospital bed, her hind legs lifted up in a strange contraption that allowed her to be spread, exposed to the world of the soundproof room, and to allow her baby an easier entrance into the world. She’d been down this road, in this exact same place, twice before. But she had been a younger, spryer mare back then. Her lungs hadn’t suffered, so that was good, at least.

A new unicorn had come in to replace the old one who had pussied out, and Velvet shot him a tired glance as he rounded about her chair. He gave her a kind, yet... slightly off smile, and took a position by her stirrups.

“Alright, Mrs. Velvet, let’s see what we’ve got here...” the unicorn said, peaking between her legs. “Ah yes, just as I expected... you’re expelling a uterus parasite!”

“I’m giving birth, you half-wit,” Velvet groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, sweat pouring down her face as her engorged abdomen flexed.

“Isn’t that what I just said?” The unicorn gave her a quizzical look. “Regardless, I think we need to make a few changes with this set-up...” His horn lit up, and the stirrups that held Velvet’s legs slid part, widening her stance.

“Alright, now that we’ve got those thingies propping your legs open widened, let’s see you rub your crotch a bit,” the unicorn instructed. “Come on; just slide your hoof down there and stroke your clitoris. It’ll... uh... help ease the foal out...”

Velvet’s expression was a mixture of extreme strain and complete disbelief. “What? ARe you suggesting that I—”

“Oh, come off it,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Do I really need to show you how? It’s not hard...” The stallion reached his hoof, slowly extending it towards Velvet’s heaving and stretching vagina.

“Doctor, what the hell are you doing?” Velvet roared, and in her foaling-induced mania, sent forth a burst of her own magic to blast him backwards. The unicorn crashed against the wall, groaning as his head and back were battered by the collision.

“Ugh...” he groaned, clutching the back of his head and looking up at Velvet. “Wait... ‘Doctor’? Who said I was a doctor?”

Velvet’s pupil’s shrunk.

There was a loud crash from behind her, and the soundproof door burst open again, and this time three ponies had entered. Before her, Twilight Velvet saw a unicorn who was dressed just like all the others, safely in his bubble; however he had a coffee clutched in his aura, and wore a tired expression that easily conveyed he would rather be somewhere else, possibly playing pool or taking a long drag while two prostitutes slapped each other silly on his motel room bed.

The other two ponies were burley earth ponies dressed in the blue vest and black headgear of hospital security. They strode in quickly, their gruff demeanor slightly tainted by worrisome glances at Velvet every now and then. They did not have protective bubbles, being earth pony scum and whathaveyou, so they had to work fast.

“Yes, take that nutter back to the psych ward,” the new doctor said, taking a pretentious sip of his coffee. “Can't have them all running loose, one of them might spread rumors about our ‘substandard’ care.” He shot the impersonator a disgusted glance. “You’re in a psychiatric ward, not a four star hotel! You can’t be so damn picky!”

“Are blankets so much to ask for?” asked the psych stallion as the security guards performed the impressive feat of binding him in a straitjacket using on their mouths. “That and some nice MILF puss?”

“Yes,” the doctor bluntly stated. “Now guards, take him away! Before her causes my eardrums more undue duress.”

The guards were more than happy to comply, scuttling out of the room like frightened lobsters, dragging the imposter behind them.

“Don’t you evacuate everypony from the hospital when I come in to foal?” Velvet asked, breathing in and out rapidly as she prepared to push once more.

The doctor shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. “Not the psych ward patients. Turns out that the rumbling and screaming of your labor throes have roughly the same effect as electroshock therapy, and is a lot cheaper to boot.”

“Yes, well, now that he’s been dealt with,” the doctor deadpanned, levitating condensed cotton balls into his ears. “I’ll be your new doctor, Doctor Pure Patrician.” He cast her an uninterested glance. “I see you’re still in labor, then. Well, hurry up, they pulled me out of a nice comfy motel bed for this.”

“I can’t just ‘hurry up’,” Velvet growled with gritted teeth. Inhaling deeply, she pushed again with all her might in the vain hopes that her foal would yield. With the predicted ear shattering, foundation shaking, avian disrupting bellow, Twilight Velvet expelled all the air in her lungs as she pushed with all her might.

Doctor Patrician picked himself up from the floor, looking around hurriedly.”Where’s my coffee? I need my—” Upon spotting the poor cup, overturned and spilt, a single tear slid down his cheek.

Turning to Velvet, he scowled at her. “Dear sweet Zombie Celestia, why must you amres always be so melodramatic when you’re foaling? That was a good coffee I just lost there.”

Velvet stared at Doctor Patrician, burning holes in his face with her eyes. “You ignorant stallion, you don't have any idea what this feels like! It’s like trying to pass a damned bowling ball!”

The doctor cleared his throat, and gestured to the wall, where several awards and degrees hung side by side, all neatly framed. The one to which he was pointing directly denoted the owner of the certificate as the winner of the Canterlot Bowling Ball swallowing contest for the tenth year in a row. Pure Patrician’s name was engraved along the bottom.

Twilight Velvet narrowed her eyes at her doctor as she inhaled, preparing herself for another push.

Twilight Sparkle, Night Light, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadance all sat together, lined up against the wall right outside of the soundproof maternity room. Shining Armor and Cadance had shown up just after Twilight Sparkle had accidentally let slip some confidential information about her father that her mother had imparted on her almost a year ago. Easily able to divert attention, she quickly asked Shining and Cadance to elaborate on their happenings in the past year.

“—and in conclusion, we learned that changelings are friends, not food,” Shining Armor said happily as another one of Velvet’s cries shook the hospital. “Isn’t that right, honey?”

Cadance crossed her forearms and frowned at Shining, who look down at his own hooves in embarassment.

“Yes, well, I’m glad you’re getting on so well with Solitaire,” Twilight said, plodding the floor with a hoof. “I really should get around to seeing her again, she didn’t seem to happy with her job at the Crystal Palace when I last visited.”

“That’s just because she’s ungrateful,” Cadance spat. “I know tons of changelings who’d give their left egg sack to be the royal chambermaid!”

“That’s all well and good,” Shining said, quickly attempting to avert attention away from a possible fight. “B-but tell us, Twilight! What have you been doing the past year yourself?”

“Oh, not a lot,” Twilight said, shrugging both her shoulders and her wings. “Learned to fly. Learned a bunch of friendship lessons. Avoided large groups of obsessed foal fans. Defeated a bunch of vines and saved Equestria. Went to the Pony Games, but you remember that... and I defeated a giant horrible demon creature and got a swank new palace in Ponyville. All the usual.”

Shining opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, the door to the soundproof maternity ward creaked open. A disgruntled, douchey-looking unicorn stallion looked down at them. “The foal’s been foaled. It’s a girl. Come in and see her while she’s still fresh from the uterus.”

Night Light beamed as he got to his hooves. “And to think I thought I didn’t have it in me... but now I get to see my beautiful new daughter!” He smiled happily at Twilight and Shining. “And to think! Shining gets another chance to see a baby sister of his, and this is Twilight’s first time! Oh, you guys don’t know how happy I am!”

“Jeez dad, save the gushing for your daughter,” Shining said with a bemused roll of his eyes. Night Light chuckled as the four ponies filed into the soundproof room.

Twilight Velvet lay in the bed, blanket rucked over her lower body as she cradled a pink bundle in her hooves, a small purple foal’s head peaking out from within. A nub of a horn was smack dab in the middle of her forehead, and a healthy tuft of lavender and mulberry streaked hair made up her mane.

“She’s...” Night Light paused for what seemed like forever to him. So many new and old emotions mixed together... he thought he would never get to feel this feel ever again. It’s a strange and wonderful feeling, to see a child for the first time after it is born. There’s a peaceful serenity that fills the room, and a simply beauty that cannot be matched by anything else is present.

Of course, it seemed like forever to everypony else too, and when Night Light entered his fifth minute of not speaking, Shining waved his hoof in front of his dad’s face.

“Uh, dad?” he said, his eyebrows upturning in concern. “You okay there?”

“...beautiful,” Night Light finished, nuzzling the freshly harvested filly with his cheek. In doing do, the blankets that wrapped her up fell away, and even though she let out a little gasp of resistance, Twilight Velvet was simply too tired to do anything.

Night Light, Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and Twilight Sparkle all stared in shock and disbelief at the little filly, who was sporting a small yet lovely pair of little wings.

“Oh yeah, I suppose I should have mentioned that,” Doctor Patrician said as he placed a tiny bouquet of miniature roses on the small memorial he had erected for his spilt coffee. “You’re kid’s an alicorn. Which means she’s not yours, hotshot.”

“B-but...” Night Light stammered, looking at the filly to his wife and back again rapidly. “W-who...”

Velvet looked wearily over at Twilight for just a moment, but that was all that needed. Shining, Cadance, and Night Light all turned to look at Twilight, who simply stood there, unmoving.

“Wow,” Doctor Patrician said, his voice dripping with apathy. “Awkward.”

Night Light let out a faint, feminine “oh”, and fainted on the spot. Twilight's legs wobbled as she watched her father faint, and seriously considered doing the same.

The Legendary Divorce

Twilight Sparkle lay in her elegant, comfy bed, blankets pulled up to her neck, hooves peaking out over the comforter. Disloyal to its name, however, the comforter was barely providing her any comfort at all. All she could do was simply stare up through the pink silk that was draped over the top of her four-poster, up at the roof above her.

“I don’t think she’s taking the news very well,” Shining Armor said observantly, looking down at his little sister in her bed.

“Well, I’d agree, considering she’s been in bed for a damn week,” Cadance said, shooting her husband a reproachful glance. “Honestly, I know it must have come as a great shock to her to find out that she had accidentally impregnated her mother and that the baby everyone thought was her parent’s last chance at saving their marriage turned out to be hers, but all things considered, this is a good thing! She should be happy that she has a child of her own!”

Shining turned and looked at his wife, eyes narrowing. “Do you even think before you speak, or do words just flow from your mouth like a sewage pipe emptying into a city reservoir?”

Cadance pursed her lips. “You’re sleeping on the couch this week.”

Shining looked down at his hooves, face downcast. “I know.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was ignoring all of this. No expression betrayed her face other than the subtle shock and horror of the situation—she was a motionless statue, laying there in the bed and staring up at the ceiling. The blankets moved only slightly from her light, infrequent breaths.

“See, Cadance, this isn’t natural,” Shining said, his eyes wide with worry. “We need to do something! We can’t just leave Twilight here like this! We’ve got to snap her out!”

“Well, if she’s just going to wallow in self pity, I think it’s best if we let her ride it out,” Cadance reasoned with a cock of her eyebrow. “Let her mind process it, let her have a little bit of a breather, get it all out of her system, and she can come back when she’s ready. It’s all a simple bit of psychology. And besides...” Cadance let out a breathy, dreamy sigh. “I think it’s wonderful that Twilight’s found love at last. Even as the princess of love, I was beginning to worry that she’d never find a suitable partner, and would die cold and alone in a ditch after selling her body for food money.”

“I think we all feared that in one way or another,” Shining agreed. “However... what I don’t think any of anticipated, or that any of us except you find wonderful is that fact that Twilight’s ‘love’ is with OUR MOTHER!”

Cadance chuckled and rolled her eyes condescendingly. “Oh Shiny, you are so old school. Get with the times! Let ponies love who they want! Don’t hate, tolerate.”

There was the soft click of the door opening, and Solitaire in pegasus form walked in, balancing a tray on her head. Cadance immediately whipped around, an expression of pure disgust spackled on her face. “What do you want, you filthy bug?”

“Now now, Cadance, remember the tolerance camp...” Shining said, patting his wife on the back. Cadance took three deep breaths, and turned to Solitaire, struggling to smile. In this endeavour, Cadance’s strained expression ended up giving her the appearance of a pony who was trying to pass a buik out of their colon as opposed to one who was pleasantly smiling.

“So sorry, S-Sol... S-Soli...” Cadance attempted to choke out, getting stuck on the name and nearly gagging each time she tried to say it. “S-Sol... Soli-S-Servant. Servant! I am sorry, servant.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” Solitaire said, smiling sunnily. “I know you and Shining have been trying your best to leave your past prejudices behind over this past year, just as I have tried to repair the immense psychological damage your re-education camps forced upon me!” Her smile never faltered the entire time, although one of her eyes did twitch rapidly towards the end of her speaking.

“Yes, well, we’ve all done out fair share of wrongdoings,” Shining said, trotting over to the changeling with the tray balanced on her head. “But hey! You brought tea! And I think that’s something we can all set aside our differences to enjoy.”

Cadance carefully levitated a cup next to the teapot, and poured out a steaming cuppa for herself. Shining did the same, and once the two were adequately pleased with the level of tea in each cup, Solitaire trotted to the bedside table and deposited the tray, reverting back to her regular buggy form with a serious of green flashes and loud crackles. Looking over at Twilight with a sympathetic glance, she asked “Is Twilight alright? I hope nothing serious has happened to her, she was always nice to me. Never tried to eat me or lock me in a closet...”

“No one tried to eat you,” Cadance said with a scoff. “Don’t over exaggerate.”

Solitaire opened her mouth to argue, but a muffled crunching noise and a shooting pain in her wings diverted her attention. Looking back behind her, she saw Shining Armor chewing on her wings, his eyes rolling back into his head. Solitaire shot a glance at Cadance, and Cadance sighed.

“Honey, you’re doing it again...”

Shining refocused his eyes, and quickly spat out the wing, downing the rest of his tea in one gulp. As steam poured from his nose and ears, and sweat ran down his face, he giggled, embarrassed to the fullest extent.

“I’m so sorry, Solitaire,” Shining said, and on turned away, he clutched his head in his hooves, sitting down on his haunches, repeating the same words over and over again in a frantic montra. “Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are friends, not food. Changelings are FRIENDS NOT FOOD!”

Turning around, he smiled awkwardly at Solitaire, who scooted a few feet to the right away from Shining.

Cadance sighed and sipped her tea, glancing down at the still unresponsive Twilight. “Well, I suppose we should let her be. She’ll sort everything out psychologically, and she’s not going to do it any faster with us hanging over her like vultures over an exceptionally delicious corpse.”

“Wait, I’ve got one more idea!” Shining said, patting his mane down, which had frizzed into the ‘crazy fringe’ during his episode, a hairstyle popularized by lazy teenagers and insane asylum patrons everywhere. Walking over to the bookcase, he pulled out a particularly dense looking tome, and held it roughly a foot away from his face inside of his magical grasp.

“Step back, you guys,” he instructed his wife and Solitaire as he strode over towards Twilight’s bed with great purpose. “I’m going to snap her out of this.” By the time he had reached the bed, both Cadance and Solitaire had moved away, which gave him ample room to do his work.

Shining looked down at Twilight, and smiled kindly. “Heeey, Twily. How’re you doing? Uh... I know you’re probably still a little shell-shocked from the whole ‘finding out you impregnated your mother and destroyed your parents marriage’ deal, but look!” He wiggled the book around, flipping through the pages rapidly. “A book! Those are the things you like!”

No response.

“Hm...” Shining furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes. “I think I just need to...” He manipulated the book in his aura, spreading it open to about half way in the book. holding the pages to either cover. Carefully, he lowered the book down into his sister’s face, letting it settle on her snout. The book covered her entire face, and now all Twilight would see were very blurry words. “There you go!”

No response.

Shining turned to Cadance and shrugged. “I got nothing.”

Cadance clutched her hoof to the bridge of her muzzle, groaning internally.

Meanwhile, down in one of the many guest rooms just a floor below, Twilight Velvet sat in a rocking chair, cradling her little filly in her hooves. The filly, whom she had named Twilight Glimmer, cooed adorably from her spot in her mother’s forelegs, yawning as the rhythmic rocking slowly put her to sleep.

“Velvet, she’s adorable and all,” Princess Celestia, the other occupant of the room, said. “But we really need to get into the task at hoof. First off... why did you name her Twilight Glimmer? That’s exceedingly close to your daughter and her moth... father’s name!”

“It’s the original name I had picked out for Twilight before her father and I did some negotiating,” Velvet said, smiling down at Glimmer. “And since Twilight wasn’t... lucid for the naming, I figured I’d finally be able to name a child of mine what I wanted.”

“Very well,” Celestia said. “And yet that brings me to my next point; Twilight Sparkle has been unable to do anything but stare at her ceiling for nearly a week! This is completely unacceptable, especially considering that she is your daughter! Ignoring all the obvious moral and biological ramifications, you need to show a bit of compassion for her and the state she’s in! I’m not usually this harsh with my subjects, but this is a very serious matter involving somepony I care about almost as much as you should!”

Velvet sighed, and looked over at Celestia. “Princess, this isn’t any easier on me. You know that I love her, right? More than a... mother should love her daughter, really.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Inappropriately so, or else we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Velvet set Glimmer down on her lap, and turned her head to look at Celestia. “Princess, I beg of you. I know it must be hard to understand, but she’s... somepony I love deeply. I’ve watched her grow up into a beautiful mare, and I’ve been there almost every step of the way watching her blossom into this wonderful, perfect pony. There might be something deeply wrong with me, but I... I just want to be able to do something about these feelings that doesn’t involve suppressing or ignoring them! And don’t try and get me on the therapy thing, I’ve tried that, trust me.”

“Wait... when did you go get therapy?” Celestia asked, her voice saturated with skepticism.

“It was about eight years ago,” Velvet said, picking Glimmer up again and resumed to rock her gently.

“At about the same time those fifteen therapists went mad and committed mass suicide?”

“Yeah, that wasn’t a coincidence,” Velvet said , ticking her daughter’s chest with the tip of her hoof.

Celestia groaned. “Ugh... do you know how awful that was? I was doing no-stop paperwork for a week! It was completely ridiculous. Velvet, this charade must end. Please, don’t continue this on anymore than you already—”

“With all due respect, Princess,” Velvet said, shooting Celestia a reproachful glance. “There is no ‘charade’, as it were. I love my daughter, and yes, it is sexual, and yes I am in love with her. I am not faking this. I am not doing this as part of a scheme or an act or simply for attention. I had a foal with her, for Celesti-aah...” Velvet trailed off when she remember who she was talking to. “...right. Well, regardless, I’m actually pleased with where we are.” She smiled down at Glimmer, who smiled back up at her.

Celestia sighed, and clutched a hoof to her muzzle. “Dear sweet zombie me, why do these things always happen to me instead of Luna?”

“You could just let us be,” Velvet suggested. “I know this is no place for me as a citizen to tell my princess, but I really think you could just let us... try to have our relationship. Give us a little time to see if our feelings could be realized. Almost a year ago, I confessed them to Twilight, and she was willing to indulge in them. Now I want to see if she’s able to commit to them.”

“She’s in a coma,” Celestia said in a low growl, her teeth gritted.

“I fail to see how that’s relevant,” Velvet said, shrugging her shoulders. “She’ll come out of it soon. Besides, it’s a shock for anyone to find out they have a child when they weren’t expecting one.”

“Yes,” Celestia said, almost visibly shaking. “Especially if they had the child with their mother!”

“A minor technicality.” Velvet tickled Glimmer again, and the baby alicorn lifted her hooves while giggling.

“Besides, in doing this, you’re keeping Twilight away from tons of potential suitors who are far more... socially acceptable, and less damaging for the gene pool,” Celestia informed Velvet as she paced around the room. “And what’s worse is that you’re emotionally manipulating her! That’s not fair to Twilight, she should be given the choice to love who she wants.”

“I did give her the choice,” Velvet said. “And she let me have her.”

Celestia’s brow furrowed. “I still... I still believe that she should choose somepony she can have a less... entangles and taboo future with. You’re dooming her to a social stigma and a... a...”

Celestia trailed off when she saw the surreptitious smile Velvet was giving her. “Whatever is that expression for, Velvet?”

“You like my daughter, don’t you, Princess?”

Princess Celestia’s eyes widened. “Well I... that’s an absurd notion! Of course I like Twilight, very much so, she’s one of the best and most talented students I’ve had for a long time! I made her Princess for a reason, you know, and I—”

“Oh, Princess,” Velvet said with a chuckle. “You know what I meant. There’s something more there that you feel for Twilight. You’re overly defensive, you’re at a heightened emotional state, and you’re sweating over the smallest things.”

“Incestuous offspring of a high Canterlot noble family and a PRINCESS isn’t exactly a small thi—”

“Princess, I know unconventional love,” Velvet said seriously. “We’ve been arguing about it for the past hour, after all! I don’t have to be Princess Cadance to see the signs; love can make even a millennia-old Princess babble like a school-filly with a crush on her teacher.”

Celestia’s cheeks were aglow with a blush. “Supposing I even did have... romantic feelings for Twilight, this is not what this conversation is about! You’re dodging the subject, and I’ve got one last point to go over with you!”

“Oh really?” Velvet asked, cocking her eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Night Light,” Celestia said, her horn sparking and opening a door behind her, which led into a small room with two couches flanking a coffee table. On the furthest couch lay Night Light, curled up in the fetal position and crying. “He’s been like this ever since he came to after learning about the child being you and your daughter’s instead of his.”

Velvet nodded. “Yes, I figured I’d have to deal with this eventually.” She picked Glimmer up in her magical aura, and gently laid her down in a crib just a few feet away. “Thankfully, I prepared for this.”

She leaned over her young filly’s crib. “Momma’s gotta go deal with a wuss right now, darling. I’ll be back soon.”

Glimmer gurgled.

Twilight Velvet walked over to a bureau on the opposite side of the room, and opened it up, levitating out a small briefcase. She nodded towards Celestia, and the two of them walked into the other room.

“Try to be gentle with him,” Celestia told Velvet. She nodded back.

Velvet took a seat on the couch across from Night Light, and set the briefcase down on the coffee table. Celestia opted to stand right before the edge of the coffee table, effectively in between the former couple.

“V-Velvet...” Night Light sobbed, clutching his tail and stroking it, tears streaming down his face. The cushion underneath it was thoroughly soaked, and indeed, little rivulets of water was leaking down into the tiles below, and a small pool of tears had collected under the coffee table. “H-how... how could you? You cheated on me with our darling little girl, and... just... how?”

“Yes, we’ve been over this,” Velvet said with a sigh. “I’m the one who had to push the little bundle of joy out of my cooter, I think I’m well aware that I had a child with her.”

Night Light sobbed louder, and Celestia cleared her throat. Velvet coughed, and lifted up the briefcase. “Right, anyway. We’ve got some business we need to go over...”

“What did I do?” Night Light whimpered, squeezing his tail tightly to his body. “Why did you have to d-do... this? Why am I... am I not enough for you?”

“Sweetie...” Velvet said, giving him a sympathetic glance. “You’ve given me a lot in these past two decades. You’ve given me love, we’ve shared wonderful experiences together, and you gave me a wonderful, amazing child. I think you were your own downfall, really—in giving me Twilight, you assured that you yourself could never hold up to her. You’re great, Night Light, but you’re not Twilight. She has all your best parts, and she has all of mine. She’s simply... better than you.”

Night Light stared at Velvet, eyes water, and burst out sobbing once more. Velvet looked over at Celestia, who scowled at her.

“What?” Velvet said indignantly. “I let him down easy! I didn’t make any reference to his small penis!”

“THAT YOU GAVE ME!” Night Light shouted.

“You can’t blame you problems on everypony else forever, Night Light,” Velvet said. “But I understand how difficult this is for you; you haven’t found the mare that’s absolutely perfect for you yet, and seeing me going off with one you helped create is filling you with jealousy and rage.”

“You are the perfect mare for me!” Night Light said, aghast. “I’m so upset because my wife is leaving me for my daughter!”

“Me? The perfect mare for you?” Velvet scoffed. “Oh, honey. If I were the perfect mare, I wouldn’t be leaving you for our daughter!”

This only served to make Night Light sob harder. Velvet sighed, rolling her eyes. “Oy vey...”

“Look, Night Light!” she said, opening the briefcase with a spark of her horn. “I know what will cheer you up!”

“Y-you do?” Night light sniffled, wiping his eyes with the tip of his tail.

“Yes,” Velvet said enthusiastically, levitating out a large stack of forms. “Divorce papers!”

Night Light stared blankly at Velvet for a moment, who smiled back at him. He burst out sobbing once more.

Velvet sighed. This was going to be a long night...

“...and at that point, the ice would wake her up,” Shining finished explaining to Cadance and Solitaire. “And there’d be minimal damage to her rectum!”

“That is quite possibly the stupidest idea ever,” Cadance said, and Shining looked down at the floor in defeat. The door swung open just then, and Velvet walked in, noticeably more wet than she usually was.

“Well, I finally cut it off with your father,” she told Shining. Shining looked up from the floor, and surveyed his dripping mother.

“How’d he take it?”

“Better than I thought,” she replied, shaking her mane, spraying tears everywhere. “Princess Celestia says she only estimates about four-thousand bits in water damage from his tears!”

“Ha!” Cadance said, holding out her hoof. Shining and Solitaire both grumbled, hoofing over ten bits each. “We had a pool on how much damage he’d do,” she explained.

“That was ten months’ worth of salary,” Solitaire said sadly.

“Is Twilight still in her...” Velvet said, gesturing towards her daughter, who was still in the exact same position, book on her face and all.

“Yup,” Shining said, shrugging. “We’ve basically given up all hope.”

“Well, you needn’t worry any longer.” Velvet grinned broadly. “I know my daughter and lover—” everypony else in the room shuffled their hooves and looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with Velvet. “—and I think I have just the thing to wake her up.”

Striding over to the bed, Velvet levitated the book off of Twilight’s face, and flung it to the side. It smacked Solitaire right in the face, sending her crashing to the floor. Velvet ignored this and the giggles from Cadance as she pulled back the covers, exposing her frozen daughter’s belly, sheath, and legs.

Velvet hopped up on the bed, and spread Twilight's legs. Gently, she cupped her swollen testes, and rubbed the sheath, humming to herself as she did so. In no time, the member began to snake out of its hiding place, laying across Twilight’s lower belly and hanging off her side. Whistling a gay little tune, Velvet, began to stroke the member instead of the sheath, smiling as it hardened, and moved her hoof on Twilight’s balls down to her daughter’s vagina, playing with the labia.

Twilight made no facial expression, but her member was at full mast in no time, sticking up with a slight curve, a bead of pre-cum present on the tip. Licking her lips, Velvet opened her mouth and enveloped the head of her daughter’s cock, suckling on it gently.

“Ew!” Shining Armor exclaimed recoiling in disgust.

“Come on, with us in the room?” Cadance moaned, shielding her eyes with her hoof and looking away.

“Y-yeah!” Solitaire said, picking herself off the floor and walking away backwards. “Gross...” The changeling retreated behind a potted plant, and faint schlicking sounds could be heard emanating from behind it.

Velvet paid no heed to the occupants of the room’s reactions, and simply took more of the phallus in her mouth. Her tongue rubbing along the back of the shaft, while her hooves massages the length that wasn’t in her gullet yet.

She continued to move down, bobbing up and down on the mighty meat, drooling escaping from her lips and trickling down the penis. She felt the rubbery texture against the back of her throat as she sunk down to five inches, and grinned around the cock.

“Mmm...” she moaned out throatily as she poked the cockhead against her suppressed gag reflex. Cadance and Shining gave each other embarrassed, awkward glances, while the schlicking sound from behind the potted plant intensified.

Velvet slide down even further, the cock about two inches into her throat. She gagged slightly, but took control of her gag reflex easily once more. Twilight Velvet was no amateur fellater—she had won two county fair ribbons in cocksucking back in her youth. Generally she hid those before company came over, except for when her mom showed up. Velvet always enjoyed flaunting how she had beaten her mom both years in a row.

Twilight’s cock twitched in Velvet’s mouth, and the mare new that orgasm was near. She slid her left hoof back into to Twilight’s testicles, and felt the beginning to retract closer to her body. Bobbing faster and licking vigorously with her tongue, Velvet worked her hardest to catapult her daughter to orgasm.

And orgasm she did! With a mighty heave, Twilight’s hips bucked upward, and her cock spasmed violently, held only in place by Velvet’s throat. A thick rope of semen splattered down Velvet’s throat, shooting almost directly into her stomach.

Well, where’s the fun if there’s no taste? Velvet thought to herself as another thick, long jizz strand slid down her throat into her belly. Moving her mouth up, the penis made a muffled shplik as it escaped from her throat, and entered her mouth. Twilight shot off two more spurts of cum, which landed on the back of Velvet’s tongue and slipped into her throat. She found that the jizz was jelly-like in consistency.

The cock was now about halfway in her mouth, and the cum delivered was less in ropes and more in globs. They were becoming fairly more watery, too. Velvet let her mouth fill up with the potential pony paste, and one her cheeks were bulging slightly, she swallowed. She opened her mouth, and let the dick slide almost fully from her mouth, the head barely resting on the edge of Velvet’s tongue and bottom lip.

Still, Twilight continued to cum, shooting little jets of semen into her mother’s mouth, and coating her cheeks and muzzle with spurts of sperm as well. By the time her cock stopped expelling jizz, Velvet’s face was soaked and dripping with a mixture of the yet-undried tears and roughly half a gallon of her daughter’s ball juices.

Shining turned around and vomited into the potted plant.

With a long snort, Twilight Sparkle slowly lifted her head, drool dripping from her mouth. “M-mom?”

Velvet turned around, spraying semen everywhere as she did so. Little droplets and globulos landed on Shining, who vomited into the potted plant again.

“Oh hey, sweetie!” Velvet said with a smile, jizz dripping down off her face and into her chest. “Glad to have you back with us!”

Twilight Sparkle And The News

“Ohmygosh, it’s so great to have you here again, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down in her seat before the large crystal table in Twilight Sparkle’s swank new crystal tree in the center of Ponyville. “I missed you sooooo much!” She shoved her face back into the massive root beer float that she had been previously chugging.

“We all did,” Applejack said with a warm smile. “Glad to have ya back, Twi.”

The rest of the mane six all nodded their heads, mutting in agreement. Twilight smiled shakily back at all of them. She had gathered them all here, served them drinks, and told them to meet her at the planning table. She still wasn’t sure how she wa going to break the news to them, but she figured if they were at least somewhat buzzed, they’d be able to handle the news better. Of course, Pinkie wasn’t allowed anything alcoholic; the last time she’d gotten drunk, most of the colts in the town had lost their virginities, and while they certainly weren’t complaining, Twilight wasn't looking forward to listening to twenty angry mothers crying about how “that pink temptress tainted our sons.

“Yes, Twilight,” Rarity said, staking a delicate sip from her glass of wine. “It’s simply wonderful to have you back. How was Canterlot? And your new sister, was it?”

“Well, uh,” Twilight said, frowning slightly. “Something... rather unexpected happened.”

“Oh?” Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “Is everypony alright?”

“Yes...”

“Then what’s the issue?”

Twilight inhaled deeply. “Well, it’s... it’s a bit complicated, really.”

“Do your parents still want it?” Rainbow asked brashly. “‘cus sometimes, they realize it’s a huge mistake and they just want to ditch the little f—”

“Rainbow!” Rarity cried indignity. Turning to Twilight, she gave her a sympathetic frown. “Dear, I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s alright...” Twilight said slowly. “It’s just... I don’t want it. Is that bad?”

Everypony exchanged glances in an awkward silence for a few moments. “Well, um...” Fluttershy said quietly, breaking the silence like the bones of a small foal who had fallen off their scooter at high speeds. “Well...”

“I don’t get why you wouldn’t like ‘em,” Pinkie said, tapping her chin. “Foals are cute! And I was really excited when my little sisters were born! New ponies to help me move rocks! Maud always loved the rocks, but sometimes there were ones even too big for us to move, so new little sisters meant that we would be able to move even the BIGGEST rocks!” She paused and inhaled deeply, sucking in a luckless moth that had fluttered in through one of the windows, causing Fluttershy to squeak in horror. “Of course, when everything stopped being sad after I saw Rainbow’s rainbow, I was super-duper happy I had them for my parties! And we could play four player games instead of just two!” She stopped and smiled, the moth flying out of her ear in the pause she left.

“Pinkie, Ah think the new foal’s a mite young for Twilight to have the, err... same kinda relationship you have with your sisters,” Applejack pointed out while following the moth’s progress back towards the window with her eyes.

“Hm, true...” Pinkie said, furrowing her brow and scrunching her face up in the well know “thinker’s constipation” expression.

“Well, I had quite the opposite experience with my sister at first,” Rarity admitted, setting her wine glass down. “When Sweetie Belle was first born, I was going through... a ‘bratty’ stage, though at fourteen, I honestly should have grown out of it by then. It was a bit much for me to accept that I wasn’t going to be the sole child anymore, as I had grown quite used to it, but as she grew up, I took a likening to her rather quickly. Rarity paused to take another sip of wine. “Of course, Twilight, you’re far from bratty, and you are an adult and one of the most rational ponies I know, so perhaps our two situations are just as distant as Pinkie Pie’s is to yours.”

“Maybe you just feel like it’s an odd addition,” Applejack supplied, taking a long draft from a cold hard apple cider. “Your parents are what—in their mid forties? Shoot, if mah parents had been that old when Apple Bloom was born, I woulda been right confused myself.”

“Well no, it’s not that...” Twilight sighed. “Well, maybe a bit on my mother’s part. Look, girls, what I tell you next can’t leave this room, understand? I trust all of you with this, deeply.”

“Of course!” Rainbow Dash said. “You can trust us with anything!”

“My lips are zipped!” Pinkie Pie said, bringing her hoof to her mouth and inexplicably producing a zipper as she ran it over her mouth, sealing her lips just as she said she would. Several trickles of blood dripped from the now zipped lips, and everypony looked away in discomfort.

“Well...” Twilight said, dragging out the word. “Everypony makes mistakes, right?”

“Of course,” Rarity said, nodding. “We all know that, Twilight, and rest assured, we forgive you.”

“Yeah, we don’t even have to know what it is to do that,” Rainbow agreed. “We’ve all screwed up big time before, and you’ve always helped us out and forgave us, so we’ll do the same for you, no question!”

“Oh definitely,” Fluttershy said. “You’re our best friend, Twilight. We know you’re a good pony. One mistake isn’t going to define you.”

Pinkie Pie simply nodded, a single tear of pain leaking from one of her large blue eyes.

“Well, alright...” Twilight said with a sigh. “I kind of... fucked my own mother and the new foal is mine, destroying both my parent’s marriage and my fragile sanity alike.”

Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped, the pegasus slumping back in her chair, staring blankly at Twilight. Pinkie Pie’s jaw did the same, although the zipper stopped it at first. The metal on her mouth soon began to warp and yield, and in a spray of saliva and blood, it fell open as well. Rarity, who was taking a sip of wine, spat it from her mouth, drenching Applejack’s face. Applejack glared at her, and Rarity gave her a sheepish grin, before they both turned to look at Twilight with matching expressions of mixed horror and disgust, although Applejack’s seemed somewhat... forced. Fluttershy simply fainted.

“That’s, uh...” Applejack said at last, much to Twilight’s gratitude. “That’s quite the doozy you’ve gotten yourself into, Twilight.”

“I...” Rarity began to say before closing her mouth and looking down at the table.

Rainbow Dash simply continued to stare and Twilight while Pinkie Pie covered her mouth in an attempt to cull the bleeding. “Twigflift, cnan I geft shom ban-ais?” Pinkie garbled. Twilight nodded to her, and the party pony sped off to the bathroom in a blur of pink and a small trail of blood.

“Applejack,” Twilight said, turning to her. “I know you’ll sympathize with me here. How’d you deal with it?”

Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Twilight looked around at the rest of her friend. Fluttershy was beginning to come to, Rarity was blushing heavily and looking everywhere except at Twilight, and Rainbow Dash had yet to blink. Pinkie Pie was still in the bathroom, presumably getting a band-aid.

“Well, you know,” Twilight prompted. “With Apple Bloom.”

Applejack’s eyebrow cocked further.

“Applejack, come on, everypony already knows,” Twilight said.

“Already knows what, Twilight?” Applejack asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Well, that...” Twilight bit her lip. “That Apple Bloom is your kid you had with Big Macintosh.”

Applejack’s eyebrow dropped faster than a colt’s testicles after the first time they see a porno. Her brow was now furrowed, and her face was contorted in a scowl. “And what makes yah think that exactly, Twilight?”

“Well, I mean, she just looks like the two of you—” Twilight began before Applejack cut her off.

“No, you just think that because we’re farm ponies, we’re always inbreedin’ and whatnot!” Applejack said loudly, slamming her hoof on the table. “Twilight, I’m shocked! I thought you were better than this!”

Twilight leaned back in her chair, eyes wide. “Applejack, that—”

“Admit it!” Applejack yelled. “You’re just goin’ offa stereotypes!”

“I—” Applejack silenced Twilight with a single glare. Twilight bit her tongue, and then heaved a heavy sigh. “Well... maybe a little. But—”

“That’s enough, Twilight,” Applejack said. “I don’t get right angry at many things, but that’s one of the things Ah simply can’t stand for! And you, of all ponies!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Twilight whimpered, staring down at the table before her.

“You best be,” Applejack said. “Now, I don’t hatcha, sugarcube, but I know you’re better than this!”

“Is it true, though?” Twilight said, looking up at Applejack. Applejack frowned.

“Well, ‘course it is, but that’s beside the fact!” Applejack said hurriedly. Rarity made a nosie akin to a small puppy being stepped on, and Rainbow Dash turned her gawking gaze towards her. Fluttershy, who had just steadied herself in her chair, looked around.

“O-oh my, what did I miss?”

“Apple Bloom,” RainbowDash said in a voice mixed with equal disbelief and surreal excitement. “Is Applejack and Big Mac’s daughter.”

Fluttershy passed out again.

“I-I just...” Rarity stammered, looking back and for from Applejack to Twilight. “H-How could you even...”

“Rarity, Ah don’t think now’s the best time to question our motives,” Applejack said. “‘specially considering Twilight’s state of affairs right now.”

“I mean, it’s just so...” Rarity’s brain flipped through her index of unscrupulous adjectives. “Crude!”

“It’s simply a lifestyle choice, Rarity,” Applejack said.

“To my credit, I was manipulated into it and didn’t choose to fall into this!” Twilight voiced from across the table.

“Twilight, you’re in this boat now, don’t go jumpin’ out halfway, you’re gonna drown,” Applejack said, shooting her a pleading glance. Rarity moaned and clutched her head in her hooves.

There was a crash, and Pinkie Pie rolled into the room, completely entombed in toilet paper, gauze, and bandages. “Hehe, sorry Twilight, I had a little battle with the bathroom! I think I won, though...”

Twilight sighed, and slumped down in her chair. “Well, this went about exactly as well as I thought it would. Thanks for living up to my expectations.”

“You’re welcome!” Pinkie Pie said cheerily, completely oblivious.

Twilight groaned.

Twilight Velvet's New Groove

Twilight Velvet sighed, and stretched out on the bed in her guest room. She was still residing in Canterlot Palace, much to Celestia’s chagrin, and to Velvet’s minor annoyance as well. For all of her cocky, straightforward actions regarding her love life and her divorce, Velvet wasn’t exactly the best at picking out divorce lawyers.

“So, let me get this straight,” Velvet said, looking up at the stallion who stood next to the bed, sweating in his dress suit and pressed tie. “Night Light didn’t win the house in the divorce.”

“Y-aah-uhh...” the lawyer said, levitating a crumpled resumé from his shirt pocket and moping down his brow. “We-ell, yes...”

“And...” Twilight Velvet paused for emphasis, staring deep into where the lawyer once had a soul with a grim, steely gaze. “I didn’t win the house, either. Correct?”

The lawyer coughed, and bit his lip, looking around in a mixture of surreptitiousness and pure, unadulterated terror. “Well, n-not exactly, no...”

“So neither of us one the house in the divorce, do I have you clear?”

The lawyer swallowed hard, and then nodded cautiously.

Velvet sighed yet again. “Then who gets the house?”

“Well, that’s uh... that’s still being worked out by o-our lawyers.” The lawyer flinched, as though he expected to be hit in the face by a phone book, which happens more often than you think. In fact, lawyers are the second most-oft recipients of phone book-to-face relations, right below politicians and above veterinarians.

“YOU have lawyers?” Twilight Velvet cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, yes,” the lawyer explained. “U-usually when our firm loses a case, we get sued by our defendants, so we have to get unbiased lawyers to support us! And then when they lose our case, we sue them, and they have to make sure they have their own lawyers to sue the original defendants that sued us, thus producing a vicious cycle which keeps the legal system running.”

Twilight Velvet simply continued to stare at the lawyer.

“Please don’t hurt me,” the lawyer whimpered with a small squeak, eyes wide and terrified.

Velvet sighed. “Go on, get out of here, then.” When the lawyer didn’t move and simply stayed quaking in place, she raised her eyebrow again. “What are you waiting for? Get out of her before I shrink your precious pony penis! Don’t think I’ll do it? Have a little chat with the divorcee and you’ll see just how serious I am.”

The lawyer blanches and tucked his tail between his hind legs, scampering from the room. As he fled out of the doorway, Princess Celestia walked in, nodding towards him once before training her gaze on Twilight Velvet.

“Must you be such a callous bitch constantly?” she asked her, frowning. Coming off a bit ruder and more sharp than she’d have liked, Celestia blushed slightly, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself.

“The lawyer was being utterly useless,” Velvet said with a shrug, unperturbed by the Princess’s outburst. “For all I know, they’re just trying to take the house for the government’s sake! Or to infest the walls with their lawyerspawn and to spin their lawyer webs in the basement, or whatever it is those legal types do.”

“I’ll see to it personally that your house remains out of the clutches of government possession and is returned to either you or Night Light,” Celestia said. “Look, Velvet... we need to discuss the affairs of your daughters. Both of them, but Twilight Sparkle in particular.”

Velvet rolled over on the bed, so that she was facing Celestia properly. “What is there to talk about? She’s back in Ponyville right now, as she requested after I woke her from her shock-coma. She’ll be fine; she’s a tough girl, my Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yes, that may be so, but that doesn’t take care of everything,” Princess Celestia said, frowning again. “As you know, after she was woken up by your, ah... skilled oral work—”

Twilight Velvet smiled at this.

“—she excused herself from her room and proceeded to go down to the royal kitchens and ingest twelve buckets of ice cream. She slept there, and left the next morning for Ponyville with nary a word to anypony! She’s obviously not alright, Velvet, and we need to have a heart to heart with her; a real discussion about everything that’s happened in the past week and a half.”

Velvet nodded slowly. “Well, yes, I suppose you’re right... but I do have a favor to ask of you.”

“I daresay you’re not in any position to be asking favors...” Celestia said with an apprehensive bite in her tone. “But if it’ll make getting you to talk to Twilight all that much easier, I’m willing to listen.”

“Well, as you know, my housing situation is rather... difficult right now,” Velvet said, her expression softening. “I’m going to need somewhere to stay, and honestly... I think that it’s most convenient for us all if I stay here in the palace.”

It was Princess Celestia’s turn to cock an eyebrow. “Oh really? And why, pray tell, do you think this is?”

“Well, you’re all here,” Velvet reasoned. “And all Twilight has to do is come over! And then we can have the talk with everypony, since Shining and Cadance are still staying here as well, and the whole matter can be resolved, easy as that.”

“Well, that’s a well reasoned argument,” Celestia said. “You can stay here until the issue with Twilight is resolved.”

“Hm, if I might,” Velvet said cautiously. “I’d like to... revise what I said, since I wasn’t especially clear. I’d like to make this a more permanent residence, if you’ll have me.”

There was a moment of silence that followed in which Celestia gave Velvet a skeptical glance, not sure if she was joking. When it was quite evident she was being serious, the Princess snorted. “Velvet, do you honestly think you’ve earned the right to live in the palace?”

Velvet pursed her lips. “Well, I know I haven’t been exactly the kindest of guests, and that this whole issue and involvement is partially my fault—”

Princess Celestia snorted again.

“—but you have to understand, Princess, I did it out of love! I love my daughter, and I love the child I’ve had with her, and I want to be able to make sure their best interests are dealt with. And that means that I have to have a place to stay to keep Twilight Glimmer happy and healthy, for starters.”

“We can arrange for you to find a place to live that is far away from Palace premises,” Celestia said, her tone so cold it froze a vase of flowers on the dresser next to her.

“Ah, but as I said, best interests,” Velvet said slyly. “I want Glimmer to be able to grow up with the Princesses, learning from only the best!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere here,” Celestia warned her.

Twilight Velvet nodded in comprehension. “And to be near a place where her father will visit often. It’s more convenient for you too!”

“I suppose...” Princess Celestia’s resolve was weakening. “Still, supposing the talk with Twilight ends up with you not quite in her ‘favor’.” Velvet’s eyes went slightly wider than usual. "That’d make things very difficult here. I can’t run the risk.”

“I can offer you advice as how to win her over,” Velvet said abruptly. Celestia froze.

“Velvet, I can only express my pure bafflement here,” Celestia said slowly after a time. “You claim you are in love with your daughter, yet you are so eager to sell her over to me?”

“Your previous comment struck true to me,” Velvet said, sighing sadly. “She may not—in fact, there is a great chance she will not—be willing to carry a relationship with me, especially not after how I’ve been acting and treating everypony. I want to start fresh, anew—and I want a chance to win her over properly, even if that means contending with you. After all she...” Velvet inhaled deeply. “She deserves to know who her suitors are, and the choice to pick between them.”

Princess Celestia sighed as well, and slowly walked over to the bed, giving Velvet a look that betrayed the kindness she was usually so prone to. “You spread the inherent love and patience I have for my subjects very thin, Twilight Velvet but... you’ve shown the maturity I have waited to see from you for all this time at long last.” She smiled softly at her. “I think that we can work something out for you here.”

Twilight Velvet returned the smile. “Thank you, Princess.”

“Be warned though, and do not take this as a sign of weakness,” Celestia cautioned. “Should you act like a jealous and vicious school filly again, my kindness will be quickly and gladly revoked.”

Twilight Velvet nodded. “I understand, Princess.”

“And don’t think I will be attempting to make any moves on Twilight before the talk,” Celestia said. “And I am going to hold you to the same honor.”

“Of course, Princess.”

Princess Celestia smiled once more, and turned her gaze behind her, where Twilight Glimmer was sleeping soundly in her crib.

“She really is a lovely little filly, you know...”

Talk Talk

“Well, this has been an interesting two weeks,” Shining Armor said with a sigh. “Mom had a kid, I gained a new... sister-niece, Twilight had a mental breakdown, and our Changeling Tolerance Camp lessons got some practical usage! I think they’re working, I hardly ate Solitaire at all!”

“Yes, well, you could have stood to have eaten her just a little bit more,” Cadance grumbled, flipping a page in the Canterlot Times best seller Fatlas Chubbed.

Shining looked at his wife, lips pursed and brow furrowed. “I... I think we should have you go for another round or three of that Anti-Racism one.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’m just glad that things are finally winding down.” She gave Shining a sultry smile. “You know... we haven’t had proper alone time in ages...”

Shining grinned. “Well, I don’t see any incestious child being born right now. Maybe I can... arrange us a bit of duel solitary.”

At the mention of the word “solitary”, Cadance’s puss soured, but it quickly reverted to normal once she saw her husband’s bedroom eyes. With a giggle, she smiled at Shining and said “Oh, you know I can never resist a lay with my favorite husband, Shiny.”

Shining Armor chuckled nervously. “You mean your only husband, r-right?”

“Yeah, sure.” Cadance shrugged, and licked her lips. “So, are you ready to give me the ride of my life, my handsome stallion?”

Shining smiled deviously. “Oh, you know it, sweetheart.”

Cadance shifted in her place, her hoof rubbing against Shining’s side. “You ready to rut me senseless with some hot, steamy, consensual sex?”

Shining’s ears perked up, and he gave his wife a smile. “Oh, and how!”

Cadance slid up on top of Shining, her legs straddling the stallion’s hips. “Are you ready to get fucking freaky in the missionary position?”

Shining licked his lips, his whole body quivering in excitement. “You bet I am!”

Cadance let out a throaty moan, sliding herself up so that her crotch pressed against Shining’s length. “You ready to get freaky under the covers?”

Shining nodded vigorously, and levitated a nearby handkerchief to wipe down his brow.

“You ready to go downtown with the lights off?” Cadance’s voice was no more than a sultry whisper as she lifted herself up, and sank down on Shining’s erection. Shining let out a small squeak as his male meat drilled through Cadance’s crust and down through her vaginal mantel, hellbent on finding her solid-metal core comprised mostly of nickel and iron.

“Are you going to ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DESTROY ME for the purpose of procreation?” Cadance yelled, slamming her hips down against Shining, her husband’s cock buried deep inside her.

“Woah, hold up!” Shining Armor strained, and with a feat of enormous straight, lifted his wife’s fat ass off of him. Shining Armor whipped his dick so fast out of her it was like Cadance’s vagina was an anthill full of glass and sandpaper.

“Honey, what the fuck? You know that’s not my fetish!” Shining complained, his cock throbbing in annoyance before it wilted like a vase of yesterday’s posies.

“B-But...” Cadance said, pouting and looking at her husband with puppy dog eyes. “I just wanted to try out our limits... push beyond, you know? It’s always a good idea to press the envelop of love.”

“Well, you can return that shit straight to sender, because I’m not having any of that,” Shining said, rolling over in the bed, the blankets falling to the side. “Not now, anyway, what with Twilight’s whole fiasco with the kid.”

As if on cue, the door to their room swung open, and Twilight Velvet trotted in, Glimmer resting peacefully on her back. “Oh good, you’re both here! This makes things so much easier.”

Shining Armor shrieked shrilly, and covered himself up with the blankets quickly. “M-Mom! What are you—this is Cadance and my private time!”

“You guys can go back to fucking later,” Velvet said dismissively. “I’ve got important issues to discuss with you two.”

Cadance sighed, and eyed Velvet. “Such harsh language around the foal you’re using.”

“Eh, I swore around the other two when they were this young as well; they don’t remember it.”

“What are you here to talk about, mom?” Shining asked, blushing deeply and sinking under the covers as to further hide his shame.

“Family matters. That includes you too, Cadance,” Velvet said, sitting down and levitated Glimmer into her arms, rocking the foal gently in her forelegs. Glimmer gurgled, and batter her mother/grandmother’s mane with a tiny hoof.

“Aw,” Shining said, smiling at his sisterniece. “She’s adorable!”

“Yes, and if everything goes as planned, you’ll have tons of time to spend with her!” Velvet said, pressing her hoof against Glimmer’s and smiling down at her.

“‘Everything goes as planned’?” Cadance asked, arching an eyebrow. “Why is it that every day you sound more and more like a psychopath?”

“Logical progression,” Velvet said. “Now, when Twilight gets here...”

“Um, mom? I hate it break it to you, but Twilight HATES you right now,” Shining said, grimacing and looking down at the headboard. “There’s no way in hell she’s showing up here to do anything with you. In fact, she sent me a letter stating that she planned on staying back in Ponyville for a good, long time.”

“Oh, I know,” Velvet said, puffing her lips out as she played with Glimmer, who rewarded her with a gummy smile. “I’ve been going through your mail.”

“What?” Shining Armor cried indignantly.

“Yeah, see, this is really red-flag territory for being a psychopath,” Cadance said.

Velvet shot her daughter-in-law a dirty glance. “You sound just like my therapist.”

“Uh...”

Velvet was no longer paying Cadance any mind, and was instead had turned her gaze back on Glimmer, giving her a big grin. “Oh, and speaking of going through your mail, Shining: I’m sure Twilight's going to come here because I sent her a letter addressed from you saying that you are in urgent need of help.”

“How did you—” Shining began, before his mother cut him off with a devious smile.

“Oh, honey, you don’t get to where I am without learning how to forge your husband’s, family members’, best friends’, in-laws, and close legal consultants’ signatures and writing.”

“See, you keep stacking more evidence up against you on my whole ‘psychopath’ theory,” Cadance said. “And I’m not even like, fishing for information or interrogating you. This is all being revealed through idle conversation. I was wondering why I was subscribed to ‘Nubile Slave Colts Monthly’, though, so I guess that solves THAT mystery...”

This was immediately followed by an awkward silence.

“Mom?” Shining asked, breaking the veil tentatively. “Why did you sign up for a subscription to ‘Nubile Slave Colts Monthly’ under Cadance’s name?”

Fortunately for Velvet, she did not have to answer that, for the door opened right at that very moment, and in walked a somewhat exasperated Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey, Shining! I got your—” Twilight stopped in mid sentence when she saw her mother sitting in the room, cradling Glimmer, and immediately turned 180 degrees and walked out of the room.

Velvet sighed, and set Glimmer down on the floor, who immediately shoved her whole hoof in her mouth. “Twilight, come back here...”

Twilight ignored her mother, before Shining called out to her. “Twilight... you came all the way out here. At least here mom out.”

“Yeah, under false pretenses!” Twilight shouted, hairs in her mane beginning to prickle, a sure sign of imminent hysterics. “Shining, I don’t want anything to do with this psychotic mare—”

“Aha!” Cadence said with glee. “I’m NOT the only one who thinks that!”

“—that I had the misfortune to call my mother for most of my life!” Twilight finished. “She copied your writing style and penmanship just to get me here. Yours! Why are you defending her?”

“He’s probably just trying to brown nose me,” Velvet said, sparing Shining a glance one usually gives a bug that you’ve decided is just shy of being repulsive enough to smash. “Flattery gets you everywhere, I admit...”

Shining’s lips turned up in a hopeful smile.

“...you’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Shining’s smile faltered slightly before attention was driven away from him by Twilight letting out a long sigh. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll hear you out, mother, but trust me...” She looked at Shining, a pang of sympathy striking her. “It’s not for your sake.”

Velvet smiled coyly. “Well then, my dear Twilight... have a seat.”

In moments, the ponies were seated on the couch that was positioned next to the bed Cadence and Shining shared. TWilight sat herself on one end of the couch, pushing herself as hard as she could so that she could put as much distance between herself and her mother as possible, who sat on the other side of the couch. Cadence sat next to Twilight, and Shining between her and his mother.

“Now then, I think we should go over a few recent developments that occurred while you were off in Ponyville dodging your responsibilities,” Velvet said, bouncing Glimmer up and down a bit in her lap.

“Oh, real attractive, mom,” Twilight said, sarcasm so heavy in her voice that it ran from her words into a nearby potted plant, killing it. “Just insult me right off the bat.”

“It wasn’t an insult, it’s an accurate descriptor of what you were doing,” Velvet stated matter-of-fact. “Did you have any intent of returning from Ponyville to raise your child?”

Twilight began to sweat nervously, and Velvet smiled smugly.

“I thought so. Now, Twilight, there’s no shame in making mistakes; as long as you own up to them, they don’t become a larger problem, and the sooner they can be resolved. I should know; I raised you that way.”

Twilight sighed, and stared down at her hooves. “F-Fine. I wasn’t, okay? But do you have any idea what you dumped on me? I couldn’t deal with that kind of thing! Being partially responsible for my parent’s failed marriage, a foal I had with my MOTHER... not to mention having to deal with all those feelings that came flooding back after I repressed them when we first had se-eh-eh...” Twilight trailed off when she saw Shining and Cadence staring intently at her.

“Go on...” Shining said, motioning with his hoof.

“Don’t be afraid to describe it in disgustingly obscene detail,” Cadence added.

Twilight’s mouth fell slightly agape, and her eyes narrowed, blinking once. “Anyway... it was a lot for me to deal with, mother. Remember how I went into a damn coma after I first found out?”

“And who got you out of that coma?” Velvet asked.

“W-Well, you did,” Twilight admitted. “But I wouldn’t have been in the coma in the first place if you hadn’t HAD A CHILD WITH ME!”

Glimmer’s face screwed up, and she let out a sharp mewl before beginning to cry.

“See, now, Twilight, you’ve caused your daughter to cry!” Velvet exclaimed with a sigh. “You don’t want her earliest memories to be of you shouting, do you?”

“Nice try, mother, memories don’t fully develop this early,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. “Can we please get on with this?”

“Yes, I agree,” came a voice from the doorway. “I think the shorter this talk is, the better for everypony involved.”

All four ponies looked up to the doorway in unison. Twilight gasped quietly. “Princess—!”

Princess Celestia smiled. “Hello, Princess Twilight. Hello, Princess Cadence and Prince Shining.” Her eyes hovered over Twilight Velvet. “And hello, Velvet.” Celestia’s voice took on a decidedly icy tone when she spoke Velvet’s name.

“Princess! Wh-What are you doing here? That is to say, not that I don’t want you here—” Twilight fumbled over her words until Celestia rose a wing to Twilight’s muzzle.

“It’s okay, Twilight,” Celestia said, smiling softly at her. “I am simply here to oversee the meeting between you and your mother. I want to ensure things are kept... civil, due to the animosity between you two at the moment.” She gave Velvet a hard look. “And to make sure that everything that was previously discussed between us is brought up in this meeting.”

Velvet sighed. “Do you really think I would cheat you out of this, Princess?”

“I’m not sure what I can think with you, anymore.”

“Fair point,” Velvet said. She turned back to Twilight. “The Princess and I discussed certain matters pertaining to you during our little meeting. Matters that involve you.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Oh? And just what were those matters?”

“Romantic matters,” Velvet said. “Specifically between the two of us.”

“‘Us’ being between your mother and I,” Celestia said. “We are both vying for your affections, Twilight. I wish it were any other way...”

Twilight sighed, and stood up. “Well, that’s it.”

“What are you doing?” Shining asked, his expression a mix of mild amusement and horror.

“I must have accidentally fallen through a portal into a crazy soap opera dimension. Not only did I impregnate my mother, and not ONLY is she trying to con me into having some sort of relationship with her...” Twilight took a deep breath, shaking slightly. “My Princess and former teacher wants me to engage in a relationship with her. The only logical conclusion is that in my forays into dark and dangerous arts, I fell through into this terrifying place.”

Twilight paused, breathing heavily. “I should really stop doing coke before I fuck with dark magic.”

Velvet and Celestia exchanged glances. “Twilight,” Celestia said. “I know this is a bit much for you too take in—”

“I’m sorry Princess,” Twilight said. “But I can’t be privy to this madness. Not anymore.”

Twilight slowly trotted to the door, but just as she was about to leave, something happened inside of her bulbous brain. The thoughts and the electrical impulses that whizzed and whirred inside her thinkmeat reached critical levels, and something inside of the Princess’s delicate brain snapped.

“Guh,” Twilight said intelligently, before slumping over, twitching on the floor.

“Oh fuck!” Cadance said, while Shining and Celestia both cringed. “What happened to her?”

“Well, I’ll be,” Velvet said with a small smile. “That old gypsy pony was right!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Velvet sighed. “Let me explain...”

“Oh no,” Cadance said, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “We’re not going to have a flashback, are we? Those things always give me a headache...”

“It was twenty years ago yesterday...”

“Dammit!”

Twilight Velvet and Shining Armor were walking down the streets of Lower Canterlot, the calls of ponies buying and selling various goods thick in the air. A very young Twilight Sparkle was strapped into a small sling that hugged her mother’s side.

“Fresh roasted oats!” shouted a mare from beside a stall where the delicious smell of roasted oats wafted.

“Spyglasses! Sextants! Charts! Watches! Everything you need for exploring!” shouted another.

“Premium pots!” shouted a stallion from the stall next to them. “Paisley Peat’s Premium Pots!”

A green colt with red eyes emerged from a nearby house, smoke pouring out of it. “Did you say premium pot?”

Paisley Peat scowled. “You know damn well I didn’t! Get back in your cellar!”

“Yes, father...”

Shining clamped his mother’s tail in his mouth, and tugged it gently. “Can we get some roasted oats, momma?”

“I’m sorry Shining, not right now,” Velvet said, casting a glance over at Paisley Peat, who was struggling to shove a large crate over a trapdoor inside of his home.

As they walked past an exceptionally crowded stall, a strange cloud of thick, grey smoke rose from underneath the table. Velvet recoiled slightly, and with a burst of her horn, created a small shield around her and Twilight. Unfortunately, this redirected a substantial amount of the smoke in Shining’s direction, which quickly overwhelmed the foal. Shining collapsed on the ground, coughing and wheezing weakly.

From the depths of the smoke, a figure crept, hunched over and wobbling, as if one of its legs were shorter than the other. As the smoke cleared, it revealed an wrinkled old beige pony with a mat of grey hair for a mane tied up in a loose bun. Around her neck was a pile of moth-eaten, faded pink cloth that one might generously refer to as a scarf. Bangles and beads adorned her ears and stuck precariously out of the cloth around her neck. She wore a ratty cloak over a full-body dress, which was the same color as the scarf. Upon closer inspection, moths fluttered about the cloth, landing for a moment to feed, and then taking flight into the smoke.

“I’m not wearing anything valuable!” Velvet yelled. “Go away!”

The old mare opened her mouth, and a small hissing noise followed by what could only be described as the sound of an elder stallion’s bowels emptying escaped as she spoke.

“Fooolish mare... you have stepped into my stall, and you have knocked over my pots! My precious pots that I made by hoof! Now you must pay the priiice...”

She hacked and cackled. “Of DOUBLE the amount they were worth!” She held out a gnarled hoof. “That’ll be ten thousand bits.”

“What?” Velvet exclaimed. She looked over at the stall, and saw three pots, unharmed, each with a sticker that read “Paisley Peat’s Premium Pots” slapped somewhere on them. She turned back to the gypsy mare and raised an eyebrow.

The copious amount of wrinkles above the mare’s eyes rose together in a disgusting wave of flesh, and she quickly bucked her stand, causing the wood to crumble and the pots to fall to the ground, shattering upon impact.

“Now pay up!” the gypsy demanded.

Velvet sighed, and turned to walk away. “Look, I’m sorry, I really don’t have time to do this—”

She stopped as she felt something tug her tail. She turned her head around and looked down to see the gypsy had clamped it with her mouth, a single grey tooth visible.

“Euagh!” Velvet kicked her back hoof up instinctually, causing the gypsy to fly back onto her haunches, relinquishing Velvet’s tail. Velvet watched in disgusted horror as saliva dripped down her hairs, seeping into her tail.

The gypsy’s eyes widened, and her mouth opened, this time a green mist seeping from it, and her nostrils. For a moment, Velvet assumed that the gypsy had extremely bad halitosis, but that was before she began to speak.

“Twilight Amadeus Velvet!” The gypsy’s voice was deeper now, and it boomed all around Velvet and her children. “I curse you! I curse you for not paying for my pots—”

“I watched you break them!” Velvet yelled, indignant. “Also, you stole those!”

“I CURSE YOU FOR NOT PAYING FOR MY POTS,” the gypsy repeated, louder this time. “And for breaking my oral contact with your tail!” Her milky eyes glazed over. “Your sweet, luscious tail...”

Velvet blanched, and vomited directly into Shining, who was just beginning to recover from the smoke. Shining squealed, and fell over again, moaning.

“Yes, Twilight Amadeus Velvet,” the gypsy said, rubbing her hooves together. “I curse you! I curse you to love only the one you cannot ever hope to be with! I curse you to descend into sociopathy, then psychopathy, have a brief respite in narcissism, THEN DESCEND BACK INTO PSYCHOPATHY! And when the one you love but can never hope to be with betrays you, she will be overwhelmed and struck to the ground with righteous indignation!”

Velvet yawned. “Are you finished?”

“NO!” the gypsy bellowed. “I CURSE YOU, TWILIGHT VELVET!” She cleared her throat, and the green mist ceased its flow from her mouth and nose. “There, now I am finished.”

Velvet sighed, and rolled her eyes.. “A curse? Really? Do you think I’m a little foal or—AH!”

Velvet blinked, the sudden sunlight blinding her. The smoke had vanished, and so had the stall, the remnants of the pots, and Shining Armor.

Velvet groaned. “Dammit!”

“I always assumed she was just lying in order to distract me while she stole Shining!” Velvet said with a little laugh. “Who knew? That old hag’s curse was real!”

Shining, Celestia, and Cadance all stared at Velvet in horror.

“W-Wait,” Shining said, pale as a ghost, although that wasn’t much different from his usual coat color. “I was kidnapped by a gypsy?”

“Relax, Shining, you showed up on our doorstep ten months later,” Velvet said. “Apparently you whined too much. Ain’t that the truth...”

“Did you even LOOK for me?”

Velvet chuckled. “Let’s be honest with ourselves, honey: would YOU look for you?”

“B-But...” Shining gripped his cheeks, dragging them down as he grimaced in horror. “What did they DO to me?”

“Calm down, you sissy, they returned you unharmed! Mostly, anyway...”

“MOSTLY?”

“Well, they took your molars. Don’t know why’d they need them...”

Shining made a small squeaking noise, and tongued the back of his gums. “You told me I was born without them!”

Velvet groaned. “Well, I couldn’t very well tell you the truth, could I? Not after I payed that wizard all those bits to erase your memory of the past ten months after you returned!”

Shining moaned, swooning, before falling off the couch, onto his face, where he joined his sister on the floor.

The two Princesses beside Velvet exchanged glances of horror. The three sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, before Cadance mustered up the courage to speak.

“Your middle name is ‘Amadeus’?”

***

Twilight Sparkle awoke to a bucket of cold water being splashed upon her face.

“Gah!” she grunted, and looked around wildly, her mane flopping against her face. “Please, no! I’ll give you the children! Just don’t take my books!”

“Twilight?” Princess Cadance said, looking down at her in concern. “Are you okay? You’re in Canterlot Palace, it’s alright...”

Twilight sighed, shivering due to her newly acquired dampness. “Oh, thank Celestia, it’s just you.”

“You’re welcome,” Celestia said, smiling.

“You know,” Twilight said, looking around at everypony (except for Shining, who was still passed out on the floor). “While I was out, I thought a lot. About this whole mess that I’m in now.”

She took a deep breath. “And you know what? Let’s do it. I’ll humor you guys. I’ll enter a relationship with one of you.”

Celestia and Velvet smiled at each other.

“That’s wonderful!” Princess Celestia said, her grin broadening.

“You’ve been so kind to me, Princess,” Twilight said. “You’ve supported me throughout the roughest parts of my life, including this one... you were always there for me to fall back on in my youth when I was left alone, estranged from my peers. I-It seems only logical that now that you are no longer my teacher, and that I occupy a place in the hierarchy of the country so close to yours that I... consider a relationship with you.”

Celestia beamed as though she were the sun itself.

Twilight turned to her mother, and heaved a sigh so large that Velvet could smell what her daughter had eaten for breakfast.

Mmm... eggs benedict...

“Mom, I know that we’ve had our differences over... close to a year now. But no matter how I revisited it in my shattered, tweaking mind while I was there spasming on the floor, I could never seem to find anything in my life that you’ve done concerning me that wasn’t out of love. And I twitched and jerked on the—”

“Woah, hold on,” Cadance interrupted. “The gypsy said that you’d do that whole seizure thing when you first betrayed your mother. How is it that you never did anything to betray your mother before? Didn’t you betray her tons of times before? For instance, right after she gave birth to Glimmer? I already ran the love numbers on this thing, it wasn’t about betraying love.”

“What’d you expect? She was a gypsy,” Velvet said, rolling her eyes. “Her curses are about as shoddy as her attempts to extort bits from me. Worked out in my favor this time, though, couldn’t have asked for better timing on when the curse would hit.”

Cadance nodded, comprehension dawning on her face. Twilight sighed, a hoof clasped to her brow.

“Ugh... I’ll ask about this whole gypsy nonsense later.” She took a deep breath, lowered her hoof, and turned back to face her mother. “Anyway, mom, as I was jitching and twerking on the floor, I was finally able to understand why you did what you had to when we first, uh, had ‘relations’, and why you did everything after that. Everything! From divorcing dad, however cruel it was, to maintaining the illusion that it was his child, however cruel that was.”

Velvet’s breath caught in her throat. “You do?” she asked, completely taken aback.

“Yes,” Twilight said, her face displaying the emotional roster of a collander. “It’s because you’re a psychopath. A complete and utter psychopath, with the exception of being able to love me, and essentially, only me.”

“Gypsy,” Velvet and the two non-crepuscular Princesses said in unison.

“Right, whatever this is about a gypsy that you all are going on about,” Twilight said. “Anyway, mom... what I’m trying to say is... I realize that you need love too. And that maybe, just maybe, since I seem to be the only able to, I could give it to you.”

Velvet squealed loudly, hugging her daughter tightly, nuzzling her wet mane. “Oh, Twilight! That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear!”

Velvet turned her head upward to look at the ceiling, smiling widely. “Thank you, gypsy bitch...”

Somewhere near Stalliongrad...

“Look what you’ve done!” a frail, nearly ancient mare screamed with the vigor of one at least fifty years her junior. “You’ve sliced my poor Schmuck's left hoof completely in half! I demand compensation for his medical bills and the trauma you’ve forced on us!”

A stallion, around his mid thirties, lay on the ground, writhing in agony, his hoof cleaved clean down the middle, hot blood pouring down his limb. “Mamma...” he whimpered, a single tears sliding down his unwashed cheek. “Why?”

A large stallion wearing a beaten iron helmet, his coat thicker than a turnip and blacker than his heart sneered down at the elderly mare. “I vatched you cleave your son’s hoof. Very brutal. Colder than my mother’s borsch. Very Stalliongradian of you. No rubits for you!”

The elderly gypsy sneered, reaching for the very blade in which she had used to instigate the con. As she reared up, blade between her teeth, she felt a strange feeling well up inside her, like someone had replaced her gnarled, nearly useless kidneys with balls of yarn.

“Wh-What’s this?” she gasped, the blade slipping from between her teeth and crumpling against the tough Stalliongrad earth. “C-Could it be?”

The gypsy stared down her her hooves as a thin grey coloration began to form on them. “No! Somepony has genuinely thanked me! They’ve received true benefit from my actions!”

“So?” the large stallion with the hemet asked.

“Foool!” she crowed. “Do you have any idea what that does to a gypsy?”

With that, she let out a deafening scream as the coloration enveloped her, her entire body and the three strands of string that the moths had not eaten yet hardening and cracking slightly as she turned to stone.

The helmeted stallion and the gypsy’s son both stared in awe at the new statue. They did not have long to stare, however, as the thick grey cloud cover that perpetually blanketed the Stalliongrad skies broke open for just a moment, and a dazzling ray of sunlight shot down, striking the stone gypsy. She trembled, and within a second, shattered into dust and chunks of rock.

One such chunk, a rather large piece, caught the gypsy’s son right between the eyes.

The helmeted stallion stared down at the bleeding gypsy. “I vould help, but that is not Stalliongradian vay.” He tossed down what looked like another rock next to the gypsy. “Here. Take thees turnip to get you through troubled times.”

With that, he trotted away.

The gypsy’s son lay there, gibbering as blood pooled beneath him. A single tear mixed in with the blood pouring fresh from his forehead.

“Mamma... why?”

“This only leaves one issue,” Twilight said, detaching from her mother, who had been clinging to her like a stubborn dingleberry. “I can’t very well be with both of you, can I?”

“That... is an issue of some concern,” Princess Celestia said, frowning.

“Not to worry!” Cadance said, smiling smugly and reaching down towards Shining, who had just started to come to. “I’ve got you covered! We’ll just consult The Book Of Love!”

“The who ah wha?” Shining grumbled, before widening his eyes very quickly as he felt his wife lift his tail. “Oh dear sweet Celestia! NOT THE BOOK OF LOVE!”

Shining let out a high pitched howl as Cadance plunged her hoof into his supple anus, rooting around in his resilient rectum. Shining bit his lip, his eyes watering as he pawed the floor weekly with his hooves.

“I know it’s in there somewhere...” Cadance mused, sticking her tongue out as she plundered Shining’s pony pooter for the precious pages. She was almost up in a fully limb’s length when she finally lit up, extracting a large tome roughly about the size of an encyclopedia from her husband’s battered butthole. She dropped the book almost immediately, its weight obviously too much for her to bear.

Shining whimpered. Cadance looked at the mildly revolted faces of the other three mares in the room, and laughed. “Oh, don’t worry! We found out on our wedding night that Shining has a REALLY loose rectum! Hell, there's even secret, fleshy compartments in there! The Book Of Love is too precious for me to trust anywhere else, so I sled it inside of the deepest one I could find, to make sure it was shielded from Shiny’s bodily functions.”

“Disgusting,” Velvet remarked cheerfully. “Now, could you go ahead and read the book so we can sort this out?”

“Read The Book of Love?” Shining moaned. “Aw, do we have to? The Book of Love is long and boring!” He gestured to the huge volume that his wife had extracted from his ponut. “Nopony can even LIFT the damn thing!”

“It’s a mine of useful information, Shining,” Cadance said, heaving the cover open with an enormous feat of strength. “It’s full of chart, and facts, and figures... hell, even instructions on dancing!”

Shining smiled, a new strength running through his body. “But you know, honey...” Shining stood up on his hind legs, one of his forehooves pressed against his chest. He opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and belted, “BUT I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I... I LOVE IT WHEN YOU READ TO ME—”

Princess Cadance clocked Shining in the back of the head with her hoof. “We’re not allowed to do that bit. Shut up and help me read the book.”

Shining sat down, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof and sighing. The two flipped through the pages, muttering as they went along.

“Heart shaped boxes! No, what good would that do...”

“Flowers! Yes, flow—no, let’s not be stupid...”

“Wedding rings? Woah, easy there, tiger, that’s for a bit later!”

Twilight snorted. “I very much doubt that I’m getting married anytime soon.”

Cadance and Shining exchanged a glance before breaking down into hysterical laughter. Cadance slumped over The Book Of Love, gasping for breath while Shining leaned on her, clutching his sides and howling with mirth.

“Ah...” Cadance moaned at last, wiping a tear from her eye, while Twilight glared down at her. “That’s good stuff.” She shoved Shining off of her, and flipped another page in The Book Of Love.

“Of course!” she exclaimed, pointing towards a diagram about midway down the page. “That’s it! In the event of two ponies vying for the same lover with both equal and just reason, a bit may be flipped to choose who is worthy of being the partner!”

Cadance looked around. “Does anyone have a bit on hoof? Oh, nevermind—”

There was a loud schlork!, and Shining released a high-pitched whinny. A single sparkling bit levitated in the air next to Cadance.

“Heads or tails?” she asked Velvet and Celestia.

“Heads,” Velvet said.

“I suppose I am left with tails,” Celestia conceded. Cadance nodded, and turned the coin on its side, letting it go from the magical aura. The coin spun in the air, landing on the tile with a small clang. The bit bounced a few times, before landing and spinning so quickly it looked like a golden blur.

When it finally stopped, everypony gathered around it to see the results.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Twilight groaned.

The coin had landed perfectly on its side, precariously balancing in the space between two tiles.

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to do it the old fashioned way of dating them and choosing yourself,” Cadance said, looking up from the coin at Twilight. “Which, admittedly, should have been our first choice of action, anyway.”

Twilight sighed and sank to the floor, her head hung in her hooves.