//-------------------------------------------------------// of heart and mind -by mrscupcake- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// of life //-------------------------------------------------------// of life my little pony is a fictional cartoon show, always has been, always will be. my name is Jon, i live a simple life, nothing special. I spend my free time on the internet. i have an average job, average home, and an average family. Nothing out-of the ordinary has ever happened to me. No: fights, successes, deaths, near death experiences.  i just live my life one day at a time. I current live with my friend at his parents house. His parent live pretty close to town so getting back and fourth to work isn't too hard. That’s why I'm here. My parents are divorced, yet they both live way out of town so getting to work was too difficult. I have always tried to find meaning in my life, something to give me purpose. I tried hundreds of hobbies, all of which i became average at, none satisfied my hunger. As for my potential career after school,it has changed many times. always pointing toward astronomy. Trying to find some other world, some place where i can go, and find a purpose. I have fallen in love with movies and books that deplicted other worlds. Avatar and John carter, became two of my favorites, showing normal characters that were thrown into a new world, a place where they truly belonged. If only i could be them. I'm transsexual, or i want to be of the other gender. i don't know if i truly believe this any more, or if it's just for the hope that i will see this world in a new light, a new place in society. That people will see me differently, but I’ve given up hope on that. Truth is i don't belong in this world. This dull, dreary, war ridden, poverty stricken- environment. the only reason i continue living my life is because society deemed it necessary. I honestly put no value in my life, i have so little purpose that my life is not necessary. I don't belong HERE. Two months ago i discovered a new light in my life, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. The show was a childrens' show, written for little girls. But since its fourth generation re-carnation it has become super popular amongst 18+ year old males. And No were not perverts, were normal people, living normal lives. Mlp is loved by many may it be for the appreciation for the animation or voice acting, the underlining moral, or just for the childish humor. My love for the show is quiet different though, i fell in love with everything, the people, the places, I fell in love with the WORLD. It took me several weeks to discover it, but i had finally found a place i BELONG. A world where i would not be help back by social anxiety, depression, or society control over my life. A place where i can truly LIVE. No wars, no poverty, no hate. I chose not to believe this at first, that i wanted to live in a world created for children, but its true. I spend most of my life, when I'm not working, on the internet, absorbing as much "pony" as i can. Music videos books, the norm. I even "poniefy" my video games. I simply do anything i can to surround my self in that world. Unfortunately, the more i put myself in the world of mlp, the worse it gets. My depression and anxiety get worse ever day. I couldn't live without mlp, but i cant live without truly living WITH it. I'm only happy When I'm submerged in pony culture. I've distanced my friends, family, the ones who love me most. To be honest i don't really have any friends. i live with Tyler, but hes no more than a roommate. I have gotten in touch with bronie community, but they won't understand how i truly feel. no-one will. Life outside of my dreams has become, like work, in its self. i hate doing it but society once again finds it necessary. Actually life in my dreams is just as bad, because i know that i will have to wake up. Sometimes i wish i didn’t have to wake, i Wish i could sleep forever. forever, will i truly have to live like this forever, My mine and body absent from true reality, away from its true home. Like the worst story ever written, im forced to read my life one redundant page at a time. Alone, Watching an empty stage, day after day, alone. So i awake one morning ,from having helped applejack harvest apples with my pap's tracker, to another empty day. I had work in a couple hours so i decided to go ahead and take my shower. As i stood under the warm water i contemplated my life, as i usually do. I woke from a sort of "trance", something that happens often for me. my mind works very rapidly, like when your dreaming, but without the time stretch. so i often find myself breaching the walls of my own realty, glaring into the depths of my mind. Anyway as i drifted back to reality, i felt sort of violated, like someone was watching me. The feeling was not unusual, another side effect of my hyper-active mind is paranoia. so i continued to rinse off the soap. i wasn't sure how long i was out so i wasn't going to bother washing my hair. I turned off the water and began to step out. "HELLO" I panicked when i herd the voice so i jumped back in the shower and covered myself with the curtain. the voice sounded familiar yet out of place. I ignored that thought, and simply said "need something?". "i just wanted to say hi". Strange but what ever "OK Hello". The voice sounded like twilight’s, but i knew it was Tyler’s mom. "I’ll be out in a minute, just let me get dressed". "OK". So i did just that and got dressed. still in a bit of a daze i wasn't sure if the previous event had happened or not but it didn’t matter. I walked down the hallway to my room. i expected to see Tammy in the living room  but there was no one there. I shrugged the bathroom thing off, "must have still been dreaming". I walked into my room and sat down at my computer, to begin my per-work pony intake. I opened up the bronyland page, and noticed the first story was about rainbow dash, nothing out of the usual, everypony loves rainbow dash. "Hey, i know that pony!", "oh ya, cool story bro". WAIT? WHAT?, For once my mind was only focused on one thought, Who did i just talk to?. I turned in my chair to something my mind was not ready for, twilight sparkle was sitting on my bed. I wasn't sure if what i just saw was real, so i closed my eyes and shook my head, but alas, to no avail. there still sitting on my bed was none other than twilight sparkle, the pony. //-------------------------------------------------------// of fantasy //-------------------------------------------------------// of fantasy It took me a few moments to find my main train of thought, and when I did I was still baffled. I was staring at fictional cartoon character, from my dreams non the less. “what” I honestly couldn't think of any other ways to approach this situation. “I said, I know that pony, her name is Rainbow Dash.” “Of coarse you do, because your..” “Twilight sparkle, of course” I nodded my head in acknowledgment, but said nothing. I honestly had no clue what was happening to me. My mind had to be playing tricks on me, right?. I asked myself that question like like some other part of my mind would clarify the situation, It didn't. So here I am staring at a talking purple pony. “So how did you get here” “i don't really know, I was hoping you could answer that” She had a sort of puzzled look on her face, almost as if she was as confused as I was, she seemed to be handling the situation better than I was though. I merely shrugged. “hmm, this is quite puzzling , may I ask your name.” “My name is Jon” “Well hello Jon, I'm twilight.” I just nodded. Knowing what to say was never my strong suit. Especially when talking to cartoons. I couldn't continue like this, I still didn’t know if what I was experiencing was real, but I don't really care. I calmed my nerves and spoke. “hi, twilight whats up” “i don't know, just sitting on your bed apparently” “why are you sitting on my bed” “i don't know where would you like me to sit” “the bed is fine, I meant why are you here, in my world” “I'm not sure, I'm not bothering you though am I?” “no your fine” the dialog of this conversation isn't important. The shear fact I was living a dream it more relevant to my story. It was just that a dream, it had to be. I couldn't be in the room with a pony. Nothing special has ever happened to me. Every dream I've ever had was shot down. I was not worthy of a fairy tale, not in the least. I explained to twilight that I had to work, and told her she could chill at  tyler's till I got back. “Good, that will give me time to figure out whats going on” “ok see you soon” I didn't believe what I just said, and it diddn't matter, I said it anyway. I said nothing about what happened to anybody at work, by this time I almost knew I was just being crazy. It was a pretty slow day, so my boss let me go home early. I was very eager to get home, I knew nothing would be there, but I needed to rest my mind. When I got home I herd noise coming from my room, I figured Tyler was home. But when I walked in the room I saw three colorful pony in my room. Twilight, who was drawing equations on my desk, looked surprised to see me. “hi, I wasn't expecting you to be home this early. “we were slow so my boss let me come home early, what are you doing?” “i”m trying to figure out how this happened. We were teleported to this universe somehow” “do you thing it was magic, and how did they get here?” “Hey, I’m not just anypony I’m rainbow dash, the best flyer in equestria” “ya, I know how you are, and I also know you,  fluttershy” “oh, a, ok, I guess” whimper* “I'm not sure, do you know any magic that could do this” “to be honest magic doesn't exist in my world, but neither do you, so what do I know, so anyway when did, rainbowdash and fluttershy get here” “oh ya, I went outside to get something to eat any I noticed to ponys flying above me, turns out it was those two” "do you think there are other ponys that traveled with you?" "Idk, i was with only these two at the time" "i think i'm going to sit out side and see if i see anypony" So there i was, sitting in my yard, looking for some cartoons to be wondering around aimlessly. Well to be honest i wasn't really looking for anything, i just needed the time to clear my head. i ran hundreds of scenarios through my head, but it still didn't make sense, none. i was unsure how long i sat there, once again, i was lost in my thoughts. "hello, Jon, have you seen anything?" "no, nothing" "If they did travel though, could they have gotten lost?" "it's, very likely" "Whats wrong, you seem kinda upset" "well, its just..." "just what, jon?" "nothing it's nothing" "listen,i think i might have this figure out, but i need more time to make sure, and rainbow dash said she would fly around and see if she can find anything, in the mean time why don't you come inside and rest a bit." "ok, sounds good" It was strange the way she talked to me, almost as if she knew me. like we had been best friends. it was also weird the way she looked at me, there was an understanding in her eyes, as if she knew how i felt. but this wasn't important right know. we went inside, there we disused many things. mostly about how our worlds compare. she was impressed how much i knew about her, and her world. i tried not to say anything about the tv show but it was hard not to. this only confused her more. having many things to think about, twilight wanted some time alone to think. i was incredibly tired from work so i went to take a nap. I woke up several hours later, still tired. i was just laying in bed, debating on whether or not i should go back to sleep. i had almost decided to go back to sleep, when i remembered that tylers parents should be home. i sprung out of bed, worried that tylers parents would have found my little ponys walking around the house. i walked to the living room and saw tammy sitting on the couch. "how was work?" "goood" " you guys busy?" "no, they ended up sending me home" "thats cool" "ya i know, hey i,ma go for a walk i'll be back in a bit" "ok" ` so i put my shoes on and walked outside, it was a nice outside, arm air, cool breeze. I took a moment to breathe the fresh air.  the clear night air felt good in my lungs, I took a minute to savor the moment. i exhaled breathing out all the stress, and anxiety of the day. "HELLO!" "aaa!" the loud, high pitched voice, pierced my trance like a sharp knife. "I'm Pinkie Pie, Whats your name?" "omg, pinkie you scared the crap out of me" "I'm Sorry i'm just so excited to meet new people, actually your the first person i've ever met, how wonderful, i should throw you a party, what kind of partys do people have, i wonder if there anything like pinkie pie partys, what if there better than pike pi" i stopped her there. "Pinkie!" "oh, i'm sorry was i rambling" "just a little and my name is jon" "hi, jon will you be my friend" "well of corse pinke but where are yur other friends" "oh, there over here" and once again there i was living my fantasys, and btw pinkie really does hop.